I screwed up.
I rubbed my head with a hoof, trying to fight off the slight twinge of pain.
Sitting in the gardens of the Crystal Palace probably wasn't the smartest way to get the privacy I was hoping for. Still, it was better than staying back in our room.
Sun is in there.
I couldn't face her. Not after I'd failed so pathetically to protect her.
You're pitiful, Starlight.
I'd woken up before Celestia had raised her sun, early enough for the halls of the palace to be mostly empty once I'd left our room. Other than a few guards standing at their posts, the palace was void of life. Getting to the gardens without interacting with another creature was an easy task, but now that I'd been alone for a while -- alone with my more merciless thoughts -- I wasn't sure what else to do.
You don't deserve her.
Regardless of what had transpired in the main hall while I was out of commission, Sun had done it. In the end, we were safe and sound. Even the traitor was in her bed, -- sleeping peacefully -- despite my most sincere wishes. I wasn't sure how Sun had managed to do it, but somehow she'd overcome both Chrysalis and that traitor at the same time. She saved all of us. While technically I hadn't lost at all, I certainly didn't accomplish anything.
You owe her. Big time.
Unfortunately, that wasn't even the biggest issue I was facing at the moment. Even more concerning than being indebted to Sun was the fact that Chrysalis had revealed a secret I held that even I hadn't been aware of.
Sunset Shimmer... was everything to me.
And you're nothing to her. You failure.
Starlight, you... you failed?
I was well aware of the fact that I loved her to a certain degree. I knew she had become very important to me, but I didn't know just how important that was. Watching her get battered by that smug... CRETIN forced me to come to a single conclusion.
I can't live without her. But...
Why would she ever love somepony like you?
The new thoughts weren't exactly the purest I'd ever had. Sure, I wanted her to be by my side. I wanted to take care of her. Most of all, I wanted her to love me too... But there was only one strategy that my mind kept insisting I utilize to ensure that happened.
She's in love with the traitor.
She was already in love with her. If I did nothing, if I sat back and watched things unfold, there was a very real possibility I would end up losing her.
Not that you have her now.
She's gone, Starlight.
On top of that whole issue, the confrontation with Chrysalis had brought to light a few other things as well.
I was an idiot to have ever put my trust in Twilight. Her mentor had proven trustworthy, but the unicorn was a back-stabber. Not only that, my love and trust for Sun had blinded my better senses. I'd given that traitor a second chance. I put my own life on the line to defend her, to protect her and she ripped my heart out again.
I wanted nothing more to do with the unicorn, but it didn't really matter what I wanted. It wasn't up to me. I was still "serving my sentence", after all. I couldn't just cut the violet mare off completely. Not without permission from Celestia or Luna at least, and I was certain I wasn't gonna get their consent any time soon.
I WISH I could... but Sun...
My head sank into my hooves.
It wasn't a position I ever wanted to be in. I never even wanted friends to begin with and now I was somehow stuck with an archenemy and the love of my life. Not to mention said archenemy was the love of the love of my life.
It's okay, Starlight.
Everything will be okay, Starlight. You just have to-
"OH! Sorry!"
I looked up to find a familiar looking blue mare trying her hardest to quickly trot away from me.
"Trixie didn't know there was already somepony out here an-"
"Trixie?" I softly called out to her. Had it been a complete stranger I probably would've just let them go, but I still had some questions for this particular pony.
"Starlight!?" The azure unicorn, spun around, a look of bewilderment on her face. "You're already awake!?"
"Am I not supposed to be?" I grinned naughtily. "Were you the one that drugged me back at that teahouse, Trixie?"
"WHAT!?" she turned as white as a ghost. "NO! OF COURSE NOT, STARLIGHT! IT WASN'T ME! I SWEAR! IT WAS-"
"The changelings. I know, Trixie," I patted the crystal next to myself with a hoof. "Can we just talk a bit?"
I really don't know why I wanted to chat with the unicorn, but something had changed since the last time we'd spoke. Before, I only wanted to gather information from her. Now... I wasn't so sure what I wanted, but it started with a conversation.
"Uhm... o-okay," she nodded meekly before she walked back over to me, her head down the entire time.
"I'm still not gonna bite your head off, Trixie," I dipped my head to look the mare in her face. A bright crimson glow came to her cheeks before she took a deep breath and forced herself to take a seat next to me."Are you alright?"
"Trixie is-" she looked a little less flustered and a little more annoyed. "I'm fine. It's just... when Fluttershy healed you she said you were in pretty bad shape," she explained. "Out of bed in less than twenty-four hours? Either you're pushing yourself way too hard even though you shouldn't be, or you're somehow even more tenacious than Sunset thought," she frowned at me. "I'm having a little trouble believing it's the latter."
"There's not a single pony as determined as I am," I declared proudly as I pressed a hoof against my chest. "If I'm not already dead, you can be darn sure I'll be fighting."
She stared at me, her eyes going wide in disbelief.
"What?" I felt a little embarrassed under her scrutinizing gaze. It was strange. Whereas in our last meeting I'd been the aggressor, she now seemed to have a bit more confidence, making things all the more difficult for me. I couldn't be certain as to why that was, though Chrysalis' defeat might've had something to do with it.
"It's nothing, just..." her expression softened several notches. "Princess Celestia's students really are something else. So what was it you wanted to talk about?"
"Do you..." I turned away from her, trying not to sound as desperate for answers as I was. "Do you know what happened? Between Sunny and Chrysalis, I mean?"
"Sun...burst?" she tilted her head, clearly confused by my question.
"Sunset."
"Sorry. Pinkie calls Sunburst Sunny, too," she explained with a giggle. "As far as what happened with Sunset and Chrysalis..." she sounded solemn all of a sudden, as if she didn't want to talk about what had happened. "Couldn't you just ask Sunset?"
"I could," I stared blankly at her. "But I'm not. I'm asking you.
"Fair enough," she rubbed the back of her neck with a hoof uncomfortably. "It's... complicated."
"Mind elaborating?" It was a little irritating she was hesitating, but it was clear from her demeanor that what she had to say wasn't going to sit well with me.
"So... Chrysalis and Cadenza... came to an accord." Saying that made it seem like the most disgusting thing she'd ever tasted had just entered her mouth. The exact same twisted expression she had was on my face after I'd heard it.
"Uhm... what?" I deadpanned.
"Yeah," she nodded awkwardly. "Cadenza is the new ruler of the Empire. And a princess now, too."
"I... what do you mean?" I wasn't following at all. "Cadenza was already a princess, Trixie." She was getting something incorrect. Obviously.
"Right, sorry," she shook her head. "What I meant to say was; Cadenza is the Princess of Love now."
"Uhhhhh-"
"And an alicorn."
...
...
...
...
...
"WHAT!?" I jumped to my hooves. "THAT'S NOT... THAT'S NOT POSSIBLE!"
She stared at me.
...
...
...
Is it?
...
...
...
"Is it?" My hysteria subsided a little at the possibilty of such an event. Celestia and Luna were the only alicorn's alive, apparently for countless millennia. A pony couldn't just magically transform into a deity one day...
Right?
Of course not.
"Apparently... it is," Trixie shrugged. "It happened right in front of all of us. We all saw it happen."
"Wait a second," I pressed a hoof to my head, struggling to process all the information. "Celestia and Luna are in the Empire?"
"What?" her face screwed up in confusion. "No. Princess Celestia and her sister aren't the ones who transformed Cadenza.... at least, I don't think they're the ones who did."
Yeah, I'm definitely getting a headache.
"Maybe you should start from the top, Trixie," I suggested with an exasperated sigh. "This is all a bit... much."
"Sure," she patted the crystal next to herself, a slight smirk coming to her lips. "You might want to sit."
"You're probably right," I agreed, plopping down next to her. "So... what happened yesterday?"
My question drew a grim look to her face.
"They were waiting for me and my friends, Starlight," she began. She kept her gaze forward, recalling the specifics bringing a somberness to her mood. "The changelings, I mean. Sunburst had told us to wait for you all at the front gate of the palace grounds," she swept a hoof in the direction of the entrance for clarity's sake. "Everything was going according to plan... mostly... at least at first. Sunburst was the only one that ended up meeting with us, and he was a little late, but we were going to meet up with you, Sunset, and Twilight in the main hall. But then..." A pained frown came to her face as she reached a hoof up and began to scratch at her mane.
"It was the guards, wasn't it?" I tried to alleviate her discomfort by filling in some of the blanks for her. "They were changelings, weren't they?"
"The ones within the palace, yeah," she sighed, lowering her hoof. "As soon as we got inside the entrance hall they sprung their trap," she clopped her hooves together a couple times. "Chrysalis' general, Yōchū, was lying in wait with a group of changelings that had replaced Crystal Guards."
"A group?" I inquired.
"A dozen, not including the general," she replied. "Two for me and each of the girls and the general to handle Sunburst."
Chrysalis really had her bases covered.
"Not all of my friends are fighters so..." she took a deep, shaky breath. "Things got
really bad really fast. We were on our back hoof the entire time. We..."
She grew quiet, a look of dejection coming to her face. I was going to let her take her time, going to let her gather her thoughts and settle her nerves, but when her silence persisted and her eyes began to glisten, I knew I had to butt in.
"All of you survived, at least." I tried to sound optimistic, but it didn't seem to help. Trixie's demeanor didn't brighten an iota. Instead, a feeling of morose descended onto both of us. "Right?"
"Barely." She rubbed at her eyes for a second to rid herself of the developing tears. "No thanks to me."
"Trixie..." I had no idea what to say to her. Normally I'd make a snarky remark or poke fun at her, y'know, have some fun. But, I just wasn't feeling it. I honestly felt a little bad for the mare. Despite my acting back at the teahouse, I really didn't consider her a friend or anything like that. Still, regardless of those feelings, -- or lack thereof -- I felt bad for her for some reason I couldn't quite put my hoof on.
"If Sunburst hadn't been there..." she didn't have to say any more than that, but she did. "I wasn't strong enough, Starlight. I... I let my friends down. I let them all down."
The slight drooping of her head made it clear just how distraught she was really feeling. It made my chest feel... tight. I wasn't sure how to do the whole comforting thing, but I knew how to do motivation.
At least, I think I do.
"That's... pretty stupid," my blunt statement caught her off guard, bringing a baffled expression to the unicorn's face.
"You didn't do anything wrong... or did you?"
"I'm the leader of the Elements, Starlight. If we fail it's my fault." A look of sorrow crossed her features. "If it wasn't for Sunburst, all of us would be in the hive right now."
"What happened?" I needed to hear more if I had any hope of making a difference.
"Me and my friends were seconds away from getting overwhelmed by them," she leaned forward, holding her head in her hooves. "Sunburst was doing his best, holding his own against Yōchū, but he'd already used so much mana. He was already injured. Regardless of that he..."
"He helped you instead of focusing on his own opponent," I finished for her because she looked like she wasn't going to be able to. She nodded weakly, still holding her head.
"He made the decision to face them all alone. He teleported the rest of us to the main hall." She turned her head to look at me, a deranged expression on her face. "IT'S MY FAULT HE GOT SO HURT, STARLIGHT! MINE!"
If I was Sun I probably would've hugged her or something like that. A kind gesture, like maybe reassuring her, telling her that it wasn't actually her fault, something like that. But, in spite of my newfound "feelings of kindness" towards the azure mare, I still had to be me.
"Trixie," I stood to my hooves before grabbing her shoulders and shaking her gently. Looking at her more closely it was clear I wasn't getting through, her disturbed eyes not even seeing me. "TRIXIE!" I shook harder. Still no dice.
Alright then. Nothing ventured, nothing gained, Starlight.
I swung my hoof, slapping her directly on the cheek. Hard. She was stunned for a moment, lifting a hoof to press it against the point of impact.
"S-Starlight!?" she stared at me completely dumbfounded, but at least she was out of her stupor.
"You're the leader of the Elements, right?" I let her go, but I didn't take my eyes off of her.
"I... I am," she continued rubbing her cheek.
"Then act like it, Trixie." I tried to sound kind even though my words were the farthest thing from it. She lowered her head. "A good leader keeps a cool head. Eeeeven when things get tough." I laid a hoof on her shoulder. "Especially when things get tough. If the problem is strength, then you just have to get stronger so next time you won't fail, right?"
...
"Yeah," she sighed. "I guess." It was evident she wasn't feeling what she said.
"Trixiiiie," I was a second from assaulting her again.
"I know, I know!" she lifted her hooves defensively. "You're right. I know you're right, Starlight."
"Good," a satisfied smile came to my lips as I sat back down next to her. "And uh, sorry... for slapping you, I mean," I rubbed my hooves together awkwardly. "I didn't want to do it, but sometimes a pony needs a shock to their system, y'know?"
"It's okay," she laughed, slugging me lightly on the shoulder. "I really did need it," she giggled. "Now... where was I?" she tapped her chin with a hoof.
"You all got teleported to the main hall by Sunburst," I answered.
"Right!" she clopped her hooves together. "So thanks to him we were able to rescue Sunset."
"...Rescue?" While it was obviously a good thing, I didn't like the sound of it. "Sunny was losing to that insect?"
"No, not Chrysalis," she shook her head. "I'm not... I'm not really sure how much I should say, but the Queen of the Changelings wasn't the only enemy we faced."
"More changelings?" I asked. It stood to reason that Sun could have been overwhelmed by the numbers advantage the bugs had.
"No," she shook her head. "Much worse."
"I'm not really sure what could be worse than a bunch of giant cockroaches, Trixie," I chuckled.
"W-well..." she bit her lower lip.
"What? Don't you trust me?" I smirked. Knowing I was in control of a conversation always made me feel better.
"Actually," she laughed. "After everything that's happened, you're one of the only creatures in the Empire I do trust."
"Oh really?" I lifted a curious brow. "And why is that?"
"Honestly?" she looked up into Celestia's morning sky. "At first, it was because Princess Celestia instructed me to."
"Gee, thanks," I snorted. That wasn't exactly something to be flattered by. I was worthy of trust because of directions she'd followed?
Whoop-de-doo...
Still...
It meant Celestia trusted me, at least to a degree and that made me a little grateful to her. I decided to take it as a small victory.
"Only at first," she chuckled, still looking up at the fluffy clouds. "I learned a lot in my time here in the Empire," she sighed in contentment once her laughter had subsided. "Princess Celestia told me, but I guess I had to see it with my own eyes. Like I said before, you and Sunset really are something else."
"Flattery like that will get you everywhere, Trixie," I grinned, nudging her playfully with an elbow. "So you are gonna tell me then?"
"It's... hard to explain them," her face scrunched up in contemplation. "The simplest way Princess Celestia was able to describe them to us was 'curses on the world itself'."
...
"Ominous," I tried to make a joke to lighten the mood, but something about her words shook me. Even though I was trying to make light of the situation something was... off. My hooves were suddenly itchy and my body trembled slightly due to what she'd said and I didn't know why. The last time I could recall feeling similar was... "Trixie... what exactly did you all face?"
"As far as I can understand, they're entities made purely of mana," she lifted a hoof to her chin, thinking deeply. "They're absurdly powerful, but there's a caveat to that strength. They must make a pact with a willing mortal to exercise their full power."
A...
I suddenly felt lightheaded, placing a hoof next to myself so I wouldn't keel over.
"A... a pact?" I tried to keep my voice steady, but it was way more difficult than I thought it would be.
"Yeah," she nodded. "It works kinda like this: they're monsters that find vulnerable creatures and then, they take advantage of them."
Something about her explanation didn't sit well with me. If the Nightmare really had made a move with Chrysalis, why would she even approach me? And besides...
I'm not vulnerable.
But it's not like I could just blurt that out. I had to use somepony else as an example and thankfully, there was one right there for me to utilize.
"Chrysalis... didn't seem very 'vulnerable' when I saw her," I huffed. I did my best to sound like I wasn't talking about myself. Not exactly sure I did a good job of it.
"You'd be surprised," she looked at me with the most "I'm so beyond done with this" expression I'd ever seen on a pony. "Some of the most externally well-adjusted, composed, and self-confident creatures you meet are actually a complete mess internally, at least in my experience."
"I'm..." It was obvious there was a whole lot more to unearth there, but I decided against trying to do so at the moment. "So Chrysalis made a pact with one of these 'curse' things?"
"Apparently," Trixie snickered. "Guess she isn't as powerful as she thinks she is. Once the curse ran away Sunset made Chrysalis look like an amateur."
That's great and all, but...
"But she lost to the curse?" I asked.
"Like I said, the curse is what we rescued her from," she explained further. "When we finally got to her he'd already nearly incapacitated her."
"HE!?" my thought slipped out of my mouth. Trixie stared at me as if I'd just committed the most objectionable public faux pas she'd ever witnessed.
"Yyyyes," she raised a curious brow. "Why is that so surprising, Starlight?"
CRAP! Think fast, Starlight!
Trixie was a completely different mare when it came to Element business. She was no longer the easily flustered, demure mare.
"It's not! I just-"
"Staaaarliiiight..." she was in my face, scrutinizing my expression.
"You're a little too close, don't you think, Trix!?" I tried to play coy, looking away with a maroon blush on my face.
Yep, definitely a different pony when the subject is serious business.
"I trusted you, Starlight," she didn't budge. "Don't I deserve the same courtesy? If not as a friend, then at least as an ally?"
As an... ally?
I wasn't sure what she meant by that, but her initial statement was correct. She saved my love when I failed, after all.
"Fine, fine," I pushed her back gently with a hoof. "So before I share... you said 'they'. There's more than one of these curses?" She didn't say a word, instead nodding once in response. "Right. I think..." I took a deep breath. "I think I met one of them before."