It’s been a good… Two years since Bob was first captured in Equestria. Bob the human, musician, friend of Princess Luna. Adopted into the House of Twilight, or The Twilight Family if you’re not being fancy. At first, the human was originally seen as nothing more than an animal, an annoying one at that, stealing food from ponies. With that said, what has happened has been a major step up. Now, Bob was actually kinda popular. Mostly because of his vocal range and proficiency in multiple instruments, something very, very rare amongst ponies. To the lowest that the human voice can reach, to the electric guitar, down to his prowess with a violin, have helped Bob get to where he is today…
And Luna of course.
He and Luna were performing a concert together during Nightmare Night. Well, Luna was attending as Nightmare Moon, and this concert’s ticket sales were all going to a fundraiser; towards foals that were not in the best of circumstances. It was Luna’s idea, and Bob was all for it; neither of them needed money anymore. The Princess of the Night… was a Princess. Bob was a very wealthy musician. There was simply no need for either of them to need to profit. Since it was Nightmare Night, they were doing some scarier songs.
A favorite that Luna wrote herself, as in she came up with chords and lyrics, Bob helped build upon them was commonly played on Nightmare Night… Starting now. Luna performed it last year with Bob’s help, and they were doing it again this year. Thanks to this, Bob introduced rapping to ponies, along with genres such as symphonic rock, a less ‘hard’ style of symphonic metal, something also new to ponies. It was a hit amongst the foals, and in general. It was the last song of the night, and the two were hoping to go and enjoy their nights.
“Woo!” Bob cheered after a nice, hard performance. Luna, if she was able, would be sweating just as much as he was. While he caught his breath, the Moon Princess lifted her microphone up to her face. “Thank you everypony for coming out this Nightmare Night’s festival to hear myself, Nightmare Moon, and my minion,” now was a good time to say Bob was wearing bat ears and plastic fangs to match Nightmare Moon, who had bat wings and batpony ears. “It’s always a pleasure to see my subjects’ sun-loving faces bask in my night… Though I do not see any-” everypony in the crowd was wearing costumes. “-So I believe… We can use just one surprise song to finish our performance. What do you say, my minion?”
Bob lifted his mic to his face. “Lulu, I just blew my voice out while trying to hit a high note. Have some mercy, will ya?” The human asked. Nightmare Moon groaned like a very mature adult, and like a very mature adult, blew a raspberry at the human. This was just usual, friendly ‘stage banter’ that most of their bands’ fans have grown used to seeing on stage. “Don’t you dare give me those puppy eyes, Moonie, there is no reason for them-god dammit those are adorable-Aight, everybody. Thanks to Nightmare Moon’s incredible skills in making me do what she wants, we can do one more song… Sadly, she doesn’t get to choose! For I have foreseen this coming!”
“Minion, you are breaking the script enough as is.” Nightmare Moon warned. “I swear to bucking everything that pisses, if you choose a stupid song.”
“Nah, it’s not stupid. Just a song about eating shit.” It was a new song that the human had introduced to the world that night, one that Luna was all too familiar with; she found it hilarious. However, with how many foals were in the audience, Bob had to do a lot of censoring. It was a good thing that most ponies don’t know human curses, or that Bob curses like a sailor sometimes. Everyone was just having fun listening, Celestia was cheering with zero care for her public image when Luna started singing the higher notes… Up until Bob broke up the song for a second. Luna knew why.
“This song’s been heavily censored from what it was, so I’m not singing that line guys. There’s foals in the audience.” And with that he kept singing like nothing was wrong. By the end of the song, everypony was cheering and begging for just another song.
“C’mon guys! We’ve already eaten up an hour of-” foals. Foals have really good puppy eyes. “Fuck.” Bob rolled his shoulders. “Aight, welcome to the stage, Princess Twilight Sparkle and Princess Celestia for tonight’s final song," even though this was planned down to the letter. “Will be a special one. One about Princesses, the night lasting forever… Something isn’t right.” Now, three alicorns were on stage, Luna had dropped the Nightmare Moon act because… she honestly wasn’t expecting this. Bob said he had planned the whole show out, but didn’t let any of the Princesses present get any clue as to what was happening. Bob was just tapping away at a keyboard that he bought off of Vinyl Scratch, but at least there was a karaoke screen for the three of them to use.
By the end of it, Bob was in the fetal position, clutching the side of his head while three princesses were beating him with pillows. “I DID NOT PLAN THIS! SOMEBODY HELP!”
“THAT SONG WAS BUCKING STUPID!” Luna shouted.
After their little show had come to an end, Luna retook her form as Nightmare Moon, despite the act being broken by Bob calling her ‘Lulu’ on stage, but she didn’t care. It was Nightmare Night and it was the night for everypony to have fun.
“Did you have to lay me on your back? Bob asked. “C’mon, it was a fun little song!” Bob pouted from his new spot. Twilight had grown just enough to carry Bob without dragging his feet on the ground. So she decided to do just that whenever she could. She dubbed it ‘back jail’ since Bob, once set on a pony back, usually didn’t want to get off, even if he actually wanted to. “Can you let me down?”
“No. That song was stupid, Bob.” The smirk on her face, along with Luna’s and Celestia’s faces told him that they liked the song they had to sing.
“Please?” Bob was resting his head on the back of Twilight’s neck. It appears that he’s become even more of a cuddle bug than he already was.
“No.”
“I wanted to-” a rainbow blur slammed into the ground. Rainbow Dash was dressed up, as usual, in a Wonderbolts costume. Riding on her back was Zippy, who had actually used magic to make herself resemble a Twilight if Twilight were still a unicorn… and a model at that. It was… mostly Bob’s idea, since, to his knowledge, Zippy was actually quite talented with magic. They stopped and blinked a few times. Zippy, now eighteen years old. It, as Bob once pointed out, is a lot like humans. Technically, humans weren’t ‘fully grown’ until twenty five, but were basically considered adults at eighteen. With that said, however, Zippy did get taller and actually looked like a mare instead of a really tall filly.
She was tall, and had nice, slender legs that certainly were nice eye candy for Rainbow. Her once yellow fur and black mane, when she wasn’t looking like Twilight for Nightmare Night, had become a sleek, golden coat and jet black mane. She was a sight to behold, even Bob found her to be stunning and he physically couldn’t find ponies attractive, and as Rarity had put it. ‘Like a supermodel’. The amount of stallions, and occasional mare that swung both ways, that Bob and Rainbow had to chase off was rather high. Almost immediately upon seeing Zippy, Bob slid off Twilight’s back and lifted the mare off of their marefriend’s back, and started holding her in his arms.
Despite everything, Bob just found Zippy to be adorable.
“How’s it going, ladies?” Bob asked. He started to cradle Zippy and start idly rubbingn her belly.
“We were looking for you after your show, you know,” Zippy said, happily nuzzling into the human’s grasp. “I see why you couldn’t find us as soon as the show was done.” The unicorn was then slotted under the human’s armpit and Rainbow soon followed.
“Hey! We can walk, Bob!” Rainbow groaned and rolled her eyes.
“That’s cool. I wanna carry you both.” Bob, being the multi-instrumentalist he was, could obviously play the drums. Because of this, he was in pretty good shape for somepony who didn’t actively work out. So carrying both of his mares at once was not a problem. Heck, he can even start carrying Luna should she ever desire to be carried for about five minutes. “So I’m gonna carry you both throughout Nightmare Night.”
“Bob, put me down or I am going to bite your fingers,” Rainbow warned.
“You wouldn’t and you know it. You know just how sensitive my hands are.”
“...Dangit,” Rainbow sighed. “Can you at least let me go when I see somepony we can prank?”
“No Rainbow, no pranking.” The trio were promptly followed by the trio of princesses throughout the little ‘festival’ going on around Town Hall for Nightmare Night. “We agreed to simply enjoy tonight, do whatever the fuck, and you said no pranking since that requires clouds. Zippy and I can only walk on clouds when she uses the spell that lets us do that.”
“Just admit that you’re scared of heights,” Rainbow teased.
“So I am. I prefer having my feet planted on the ground,” Bob managed to move Zippy onto his head, which somehow didn’t result in her weight snapping his neck. He then, in all his glory, carried Rainbow with both of his arms, and then had flipped her on his back at some point. During all of this, he also managed to take the pegasus’s mask off so he could have access to something very important; the cheeks. Rainbow liked cheek rubs, and could not receive the full effect if she had the mask on.
“Bob!” Rainbow groaned. Well, the groan turned into a relaxed sigh, and the pegasus became a pile of pony puddy in the human’s arms.
“And this,” Zippy smiled. “Is why you can’t win any arguments, Rainbow. Between my puppy eyes and Bob’s wondrous hands, you can’t win.”
“Who’s the one getting cheek rubs, Zippy?”
“I can get a belly rub later. And Bob will be too busy rubbing Luna’s belly with his other hand to give us both a belly rub!”
“I’m in danger,” Bob said flatly.
The next morning, Bob woke up in a pile of mares. Nobody was doing anything scandalous, it was just Luna, Zippy, Rainbow Dash, Twilight, and Celestia in a nice, large pony pile. Bob was sleeping on top of Celestia somehow, and he probably did because Celestia is a very excellent cuddle buddy. For you see, Celestia is just a few degrees warmer than everypony, giving her a self-heated pillow affect that was rather pleasant to lay on when you consider the softer than silk fur, or the giant, fluffy wings that Bob had been tucked under at some point during the night. Spike was also in the pony pile, laying tucked in Twilight’s wing. Truly, it was a lovely little sight.
It was a lovely, peaceful little moment that Bob wished he could be in everyday. Sadly, with constant threats seemingly cropping up out of nowhere years, from Tirek, to apparently somepony running a cult being on the loose… He knew it wouldn’t last. So he snuggled deeper into Princess Celestia’s side, and closed his eyes to pretend that he was asleep.
“Good morning,” Celestia whispered. Sitting next to the pile of fluff that was the pony pile, was a giant pile of candy; offerings to Luna while she was pretending to be Nightmare Moon; the foals love it, and whatever the group had managed to score while trick or treating.
“Splrug.” Bob said very intelligently.
“You little charmer,” the Princess giggled. “You drooled all over me again.”
“Sorry; stop being so comfy. Or be like Luna and have a dark, blue fur that hides any and all drool from the mentally ill and mentally disabled human that she likes keeping around.” Bob waved a hand before it fell on Celestia’s muzzle. “Good mornin’ Tia. Did you sleep well?”
“I did. I slept rather nicely, actually.” Celestia hummed. “This is so, so much better than what we had before, when we-”
“Remember, Tia, nothing happened. We truly met after Cadance’s wedding after you invited me to the castle to have a nice little chat because you heard so much about me from Luna. We became friends after you ate my food because you like my cooking, you fat horse.”
“Now now, I only ate two and a half pizzas that night. I am also not fat.”
“Yes you are.”
“I will sit on you.” Celly said, knowing she wouldn’t. Many ponies have come to understand just how fragile humans are through Bob.
“No you won’t. It’ll break me and Luna would be very upset if I am broken.”
“Sister, Bob, shut the buck up,” Luna groaned. “I had too much cider last night…” The human chuckled and immediately went to rubbing Luna’s temples. “That does help,” she hummed in delight. “Do continue, your princess enjoys this.” She hummed before pulling away. “Not too much, though. I do not wish to fall back asleep.” As the pile of fluff started to pull apart as more and more components of the fluffball began to awaken, Bob slipped away from Celly to check on his marefriends.
Rainbow, since she loved her sleep, was trying to pretend like she was asleep. “C’mon, Dashie,” Bob coaxed. “It’s time to wake up,” he ruffled her mane. “Don’t make me stick you in a bubble bath; being in that Wonderbolts costume must’ve made you sweaty.”
“Hey…” Rainbow grumbled. “I don’t need a bath.”
“Your mane and fur is messy and sweaty and dirty,” Bob pointed out. He was only teasing; Rainbow, ever since the two packed Zippy into their herd, has always had her mane in pristine condition. It’s always clean, always… Well, not tidy, it’s Rainbow Dash. If she suddenly started looking like Rarity, then something is wrong.
“Whaddya say?” Rainbow sat up, yawned and tried, like a lady, to scratch her ears with her left, back hoof.
“I said lemme get that, move your leg Dash, or I will tickle you.” The human started scratching her ears. “There is no reason for you to be this soft,” Bob pointed out. “You’re a walking pile of muscle and yet you’re getting fluffier than Fluttershy is,” he laughed at Rainbow’s reddening face.
“W-well… I… You like how soft Fluttershy was, and I like ear scratches! I might as well become the fluffiest, fastest mare around for my human!”
“Hey!” Celestia and Luna said at the same time. “He’s mine!” They turned to each other. They blinked and giggled like fillies.
“What is with everyone saying I’m their human?” Bob asked as he picked Zippy up; she was still a little drowsy. That didn’t stop her from giving some grooming licks to her human’s cheeks. Bob did his best to keep a straight face; pony tongues are excellent for tickling human beings. “I’m my own man, thank you-”
“Well,” Luna hummed. “Whoever owns the human has the best seat during breakfast.”
“Which,” Twilight said as she nuzzled her adoptive brother. Zippy, being the very awake mare she was, was still licking Bob’s cheek. “Is why I, as Bob’s BBSFF, claim Bob for the mornings. I am Bob’s first friend who is a pony, therefore I get seniority!” Bob slowly started shaking his head. This was his life amongst ponies:
A living cushion to curl up on.