Two beds, plenty of privacy from the outside, and a functioning shower! Granted, said shower made a noise like a squealing pig when we first turned it on, but after the initial blast of black water, it was peachy! All in all, our room was way better than expected, though I lacked Nettle's faith in how clean the beds were and elected to just toss my bedroll atop one of the two. And so there we were, for the first time in about a week sleeping in proper shelter.
At least two of us were. Sneaky was already pissed about only having two beds, but the sudden impact of a pair of hooves into my stomach told me something else was amiss. My eyes shot open to find her an inch from my face with wide eyes and her ears pressed back.
"There's. Somepony. Out. Side," she quietly hissed with a desperate squeak, clenching her teeth and looking anxiously at the door. I blinked and glanced over at the door, listening for a moment. Sure enough, whispering was coming from just outside that immediately jolted me fully awake.
I sat up, grabbed my glasses from the table between the beds, and reached over to wake Nettle.
"They not trying to break in," he whispered, waving his paw over his shoulder at me. "Hear them out there for long while."
"But are they doing?" I hissed back, glancing back over my shoulder.
"How should I know? They being very quiet. I am very tired." I frowned and carefully stood up before creeping to the door and pressing my ear to it.
"How should I know?" I heard someone quietly hiss. "Snippy left his post as soon as he saw the guy!"
"Maybe we can break into reception and see which keys are missing?" Another asked just as quietly.
"Are you kidding? Have you seen the skeleton?" The first retorted. "Even Orgnar is skittish about causing trouble here."
"The High Priest did say this place had lots of unstable energies," the second added after a moment. "So, what do we do?"
"Until we can confirm if the Avatar is here, we need to keep waiting for that report from Canterlot," the first replied with a hum. "So, I don't see why we can't just wait and watch for our potential Avatar while we're at it." There was a stifled clack like a hoof stomping the ground.
"That's what I was saying! Why didn't you stick up for me with Orgnar?" The second voice demanded as both began to trail off, as though they were leaving.
"Cause I knew he'd keep throwing a fit unless we had a solid reason to keep hiding by the laundry pool," the first explained just before both were out of earshot. I sighed in relief as they departed and returned to sit on the edge of the bed.
"Sounds like it was those cultic weirdos the receptionist mentioned," I explained, which caused Sneaky to whimper.
"What the heck did they want?" She asked, at which I shrugged.
"Heard them mention something about an 'avatar' I think," I replied laying back on the bed with my arms folded. "Dunno if they were even looking for us specifically." I grunted in shock as she slammed her hooves into me again with another panicked look.
"What do we do if they are looking for us?" She demanded. "We need to get out of here!" I blinked and flicked her on the nose, and she scuttled off me with an annoyed squawk.
"Bad idea," Nettle added with a sigh. "We leave walls, they can attack from anywhere. We safe here, more or less."
"So what do we do?!" Sneaky cried, rubbing her nose and glaring at Nettle.
"I 'unno, but if you keep screaming and keep me awake, I beat your head," he replied plainly. Sneaky wilted and gulped before looking at me. I shrugged and pulled myself back onto my bedroll.
"He has a point about safety, at least. If nothing else, they've only got one way in to get us," I said, replacing my glasses on the night table. "We can plan for this in the morning. I'll be able to grab spells for whatever we decide to do, too." I pulled part of my bedroll back over myself and draped my arm over my eyes. After a few moments, I heard Sneaky sigh before the bed shook slightly as she curled up to go back to sleep.
Morning had come at last, and despite the apparent danger we might've been in, I had managed to sleep through the night. Despite her protests, Sneaky carefully peeked through the door to see if we were being watched. After just a moment, she slammed the door shut and zipped under the bed I was sitting on.
"Nopony's out there!" She squeaked. I winced as she punched my ankle. "Now, think of something!" I grunted and folded my bruised leg up under myself before looking up at Nettle, who was inspecting the points of his spears.
"What magic you have?" He asked. "Not sure if they after us, but best prepare for worst." I hummed and flipped open my book.
"Appropriate to this situation? Let's see," I murmured. "The missile spell I blasted that gator with is good. Uh, Protection from Evil, maybe?"
"What's that do?" Sneaky asked, creeping out to look up at me.
"Makes a magic circle around me that protects from enchanted creatures and evil things and magic," I explained, rubbing my chin with the heel of my bad hand as I scanned the other options. Sneaky rolled to her hooves and reared up on my knees with a desperate smile.
"They not here and maybe not evil," Nettle retorted, drawing an angry leer from her. He leveled his spear and inspected its shaft. "Missile only shoot once, and we not know how many out there." I grunted with a sigh.
"That's true. You think the receptionist might know how many there are?" I asked, looking back at the door.
"Maybe. You want to ask?" Nettle replied with a stern, even look. I met his eyes, then glanced down at Sneaky, who wilted and darted back under the bed.
"Well, it's better than sitting here blind, I guess. Either of you want-"
"Good luck," Nettle replied immediately, shoving his spear into my hand before rolling off the bed to grab another one. I blinked before looking down at the teal-colored tail sticking out from under the bed.
"What about you?" I asked before yelping as she firmly kicked my heel. Rising to my feet with a skip to avoid a second jab, I grumbled and stumbled towards the door. "Fine, but if I die, I order you to mourn me for the rest of your life."
"Hate you," she hissed, at which Nettle chuckled quietly. I took a breath and propped my spear against my chest as I carefully pulled the door open. Scanning the lot and finding nothing, I quickly exited the room and shut the door. Swallowing, I leveled my spear as best I could and began creeping towards reception, eyes darting around and skyward as I moved.
As I neared my destination, I spied the sign pointing toward the back of the building through a narrow hall. Down that way was the path leading to the laundry pool. I pressed against the side of the passage and slowly peeked around the corner. I could see some distance away a fenced-in area near the tree line with a gate hanging wide open. The fence was especially tall, so I couldn't see anything it hid.
Seeing no movement, and taking a few breaths, I braced and then dashed for the door to reception which I threw open with my shoulder before diving to the side. I laid on my back with my spear aimed at the door for a moment or two, before slowly sitting up and peeking out the door.
Still nothing.
I let out a hearty sigh and approached the reception desk, only to find it vacant. Frowning, I looked up when I heard humming coming from around the corner where the dining area was. Making my way back, I found the reception pony humming to himself while he swept with a heavily frayed broom. As opposed to our first meeting, he noticed me quickly.
"Hey! You're not here for breakfast are you?" He asked as I stepped into the dining area. What had once been black and white tiles and charming red tables with white chairs were now all dull and grey from dust.
"No?" I replied, scanning the room further. Towards the far end was a glass door through which I could see the laundry pool's fence. On either side were more dead potted plants, and along the rightmost wall was a coffee bar and a swinging door labeled 'keechun.' The reception pony nodded at my response.
"Nopony ever is. Usually, they're running because of breakfast. The royal guard got called out here once over breakfast. Heck! Our old chef had to flee to the country over breakfast," he laughed as he hurled his broom away and sat on the dirty floor, looking up at me with an even smile. "So, what can I do to you?"
"I have some questions about those cultists you said occupied the laundry pool," I explained, pointing my spear at the backdoor.
"Yeah, I've got a few questions myself. For instance, if they're one of those that all drink poisoned juice, do they need catering?" He retorted, tapping his chin as he spoke. "And how do they keep their robes so white? Despite hanging out near our laundry pool!" I forced a smile.
"Right. Do you know how many are out there?"
"Nope! I only saw the big one, his two pony chums, and that pegasus they've got spying on all the guests!" He replied with a smile. I groaned and looked at the distant fence with apprehension.
"Big one, huh?" I murmured. Just then, a ding came from the front desk. Then another. And another. I glanced down at the reception pony, who still had his attention on me. I frowned and waved my hand at the front desk. He tilted his head before gasping in realization and jumping to his hooves.
"Wow! Two room rentals at once? What is this, the forties?" He laughed as he galloped back up front. I watched him vanish around the corner before scowling. What were the chances whoever was around that corner was with the cult? I crept up to the wall behind his booth and craned my head around the corner to listen, and-
"We are looking for a trio of miscreants. A pegasus, a diamond dog, and a hairless bipedal ape," a familiar French voice declared, sending chills up my spine and sparks of pain along my bad wrist. "You will give us entry to all the rooms in this facility so we may search for them."
"I will?" The reception pony retorted still in his chipper voice. There was a pause before he spoke again. "What makes you think they're here anyway?" I carefully set my spear down and fished out my book.
"We encountered some traders along this road a day or so ago who reported having some goods stolen by these criminals," Honeysuckle explained, causing my jaw to drop before I stifled a grunt of anger. "And you are aware that denying entry to a royal guard is illegal, yes?" I swallowed as I quickly memorized the shield spell and then the sleep spell. Like Nettle said, the missile spell only shot once, and there was no way she was here alone.
"Ooh, that's neat! What law is that?" The reception pony asked.
"Equestrian Civil Code 11-F-291," Honeysuckle spat with a smug tone.
"Huh, that's funny. Pretty sure that's a regulation on the length and width of urban carrot patches. Just a sec!" He said, causing me to pause in shock. I heard a lot of clatter coming from his booth before he sighed and slammed something heavy down. "Yep, says right here, 11-F-291 limits the boundaries of urban carrot patches to no more than-"
"This guy actually knows his stuff, Lieutenant," Snowpea interjected.
"Trou du cul! Why do you have a book on Equestrian law?!" Honeysuckle screamed. I choked back a laugh of relief at her frustrated tone.
"Because I'm a responsible citizen who would hate to run afoul of the law," he replied. "Is there a problem?" A palpably tense silence followed and held the room for a moment as I locked the sleep spell in.
"I'll take that as a no," he finally declared. "Welp! You're free to rent a room and hang out for a bit, at least until you can get a class B warrant to search premises out here for you!" After another brief silence, I heard a heavy huff.
"I think we'll do just that. Snowpea, handle this worm. I shall send the request."
"Yes, Lieutenant," the hapless subordinate replied, just before I heard a door slam shut. Snowpea sighed hard. "Sorry about that. She's a little testy right now."
"Well, she's come to the right place! Just one night at Misery and I guarantee you'll forget your troubles!" The reception guy chirped. "Chiefly since you'll have a dozen more dire ones, minimum, at least according to our reviews in the paper." I let out a quiet sigh before creeping as quickly as I dared to the backdoor with my book tucked in my belt and a tight grip on my spear. I gently pulled the door open and scanned the area outside.
There was an overfilled dumpster to the left of the door, but other than that the coast was clear to the opposite end of the little hallway I'd seen earlier. I stepped out and turned my attention and spear to the dumpster before walking back towards the hall.
"Stop right there!" Came a command that made me jump. I whirled around and immediately blasted the voice's owner with my sleep spell. I blinked and frowned at the sight of a pair of little ponies in white robes, now snoozing in a little huddle with each other just at the mouth of the hall.
"Damn," I grumbled. I scanned the area around me but saw no one else. I considered the pair for a moment, and then my spear. I grimaced as I looked between my weapon and the pair.
"I think I know what you're thinking and I wouldn't recommend it," came another voice from behind me, which was far less surprising than the sudden weight on my shoulders and knife against my neck. I held up my bad hand and dropped my spear while pondering how far away from my skin my shield spell would be conjured.
Turning my head as far as I dared, I was met with the partial sight of a little yellow winged pony draped over my shoulders with a knife in their mouth. They gestured with their eyes toward the laundry pool, and when I hesitated, I felt the edge of their knife bite into my jaw.
With a whimpering grunt, I nodded carefully before marching towards the pool. As I walked, I occasionally stole glances at my captor, who was studying my face carefully like a cat eying up a mouse. As I passed through the gate to the laundry pool, I was met with a wild scene.
At one end of the fenced-in space was a set of white stout tents in which a dozen little ponies and half that many other creatures were gathered. I noted a single diamond dog, what I thought was a griffin, two bipedal cat things, a pissed-off-looking sheep, and the big guy who was lounging on his side until he noticed me.
I wasn't super familiar with all the different kinds of wildlife in the woods, so I wasn't sure if he was a moose, an elk, or something else entirely. But he was huge and the only one in the crowd without a robe on. In the center of the area was a murky pond with a clogged up stream feeding in from the woods.
All eyes snapped up and locked on me as I was urged onward. The big guy raised an eyebrow and then snorted before rising to his hooves and stomping forward to meet me. The other figures all followed behind, forming a circle around us and looking at me with wonder.
"This is him, huh?" The elk rumbled in a harsh voice more akin to a rock slide. Without counting his giant, sharp antlers, he still loomed over me and considered me with an expression of thinly veiled contempt. I swallowed and felt the pony on my shoulders hop off.
"Yep!" They chirped after hiding their knife away. "He weaved some kind of charm on Dangle and Dust Bunny around the back of the hotel." The elk snorted and nodded his head to the side. As soon as he did, the cat things ran passed, presumably to collect the two I'd put to sleep.
"Strange magic, huh?" The elk muttered, beginning to pace around me. I scowled and immediately threw down my shield spell. I watched the runes sweep over me like a cloak before clinging to my body like a membrane. The entire group gasped and withdrew a few steps, except for the big guy, who grinned at the display. Despite not knowing how durable it was, the shield made me feel more confident and I turned to look the elk up and down.
"So, who the hell are you?" I demanded.
"Orgnar Skull-trampler," he replied with a smirk and waved a hoof at the rest of the group. "We are the Children of Change, here looking for the Avatar of Chaos."
He looked me up and down as I scanned the group before he laughed. "And, I do believe-" He was cut off by the ear-piercing sound of a cat being skinned. Maybe even two. We all froze and turned towards the gate, where one of the two cat people Orgnar'd sent off was lying, clutching their leg, which was streaming with blood.
And looming over them, unseen eyes fixed on all of us and bloodied rapier already drawn, was Honeysuckle.
"I thought this looked like a good place to hide," she purred as she swept her sword through the air and carefully trotted towards us. I swallowed and took a step back while the cultists split up and began to surround her. Orgnar snorted angrily and began to approach her.
"And who the Hel are-" He was cut off again and shivered with a hearty groan before slumping over. While I didn't see what happened, the mortified faces of the cultists who then stumbled back were very telling. Honeysuckle stepped over him and hopped down right before me as Orgnar rolled over, revealing a serious-looking gash across his face which he was clutching with his hooves.
"So, where oh where are your little friends?" Honeysuckle chirped, gently twisting her sword point first at me. She hummed and raised her hoof slightly. "Oh yes!" My shield warbled and glowed as the point of her sword was suddenly jabbed into my face. I blinked as I realized her sword was bending slightly against my barrier.
"And while we're at it, where is my mother's sword?" She added with a firm tone and a snarled lip. I considered my shield for a moment before shrugging.
"Left it in the room with them," I slapped her sword away, causing her to recoil ever so slightly. "So that was your mom's huh? Was she also a blood-thirsty psycho, or was the dumpy piece of tin foil the only thing you inherited from her?"
Suddenly, I was sent tumbling and landed on my back. Despite the impact, I wasn't dazed or anything, and so I was able to quickly glance down and see a shimmering bubble around my leg matching the color of her magic. Though, I noted that my own shield was glowing just under her magical grip.
"How-" was all I could get out before Honeysuckle leaped at me.
Just as she dove in, sword whirling like a flash of lightning, I kicked my free leg out and met her snout with my heel. There was a warbling boom and a crack and her sword went spinning off to the side, free from her magical grip. Honeysuckle was knocked up on her hind legs and sent skidding away with her head thrown back.
I gasped in surprise before realizing the aura of my shield was glowing around my foot, implying the shield had added some extra oomph to my kick. As I let out a curt laugh in relief, I heard the gentle click of a pair of hooves against the stone. Looking up, I realized all eyes were on Honeysuckle and myself, and their faces were fixed with anxious dread. Even the elk seemed taken aback. Honeysuckle was back on all fours and her head was hanging. Her mane had lost its poofiness, and completely obscured her features, but did nothing to hide the small drip of blood pittering from somewhere on her face.
Slowly, she raised her head to look at me, revealing both of her eyes, which were wide and steely, and her slightly bleeding nose. She rolled her jaw and then spit at me. Looking down at the blood wad, I noticed the unmistakable shape of a broken tooth. I wilted for a second before meeting her eyes.
"Yeah, sucks getting something taken off, don't it?" I managed despite myself. She adopted a grim smile and hummed something between a growl and a laugh.
"I'm going to make the thief watch what I do to your dead body," she spat, drawing a gasp from several onlookers. I, however, had heard worse on the internet. Thus, I was prepped with a response.
"Can't be as bad as what she watched me do to your mom last night," I quipped with a shrug. Several things happened in the instant that followed. For starters, her expression plainly said I'd struck a nerve. Confirmed and noted for later. Secondly, I found myself hurled sideways by magic, despite my shield. Thirdly, Orgnar let out a wheezing yell as I was smashed into him.
While my barrier protected me so I didn't even feel dizzy from the speed I was whipped through the air, he was not so lucky. Last I saw, the guy was sent sprawling into the fence, which he crashed through and then laid on his side with a heavy, gurgling coughing fit.
Finally, as I continued to be swung, mowing down anyone unlucky enough to be in reach, Honeysuckle began to unleash a torrent of hissing, frothing, very offensive-sounding words. My barrier quivered and warbled as I was slammed into cultists, stone, fencing, and then suddenly several trees. I blinked and realized she had dragged me into the woods at some point during her rampage.
"Release your shield coward! Say it to my face!" She shrieked as she plowed me through most of an oak tree. She whipped me around and dragged me forward to her eye level as the tree cracked and then fell over. She sat glaring death into my eyes, panting as strands of rage-driven drool dripped from her snarling maw. I smiled back and relaxed in her telekinetic grip, cupping my chin in my hands.
"Somebody's cranky. You wanna talk about it?" I chirped. Her entire body began to quake, and I learned at that moment that despite being covered in fur, ponies could still turn red and then purple from a mix of anger and lack of oxygen.
"Lieutenant!" Came another voice. Honeysuckle gasped and whipped her head around. I followed her gaze and recoiled at what I saw.
"Well, well, well," I chortled with a scowl, drawing a frown from the newcomer and all her friends.
"What the heck is going on here?" The magic purple unicorn who killed Dan Vs. asked. She looked me up and down. "Is that the Avatar?"
"Huh?" I exclaimed, looking back over my shoulder and then back. I blinked and then brought my good hand to my chest. "Who, me?"