AKA looking for a fix
Manehattan may be the city that never sleeps, but it sure does sleep around.
Not that I care. Cheaters, liars, thieves, they’re all good for my business.
Sunset Shimmer. P.I. Some say I’m good, some say I’m bad, some say I'm the worst. And I say I don’t give a shit.
It was a night like any other, and by that, I mean I wasn’t sleeping. Perks of the job, you tend to become a nocturnal animal, and hey, I was bored. Fresh out of a bar, and taking one of my usual rooftop nightly strolls.
The smog on the sky above us could trick you into thinking it was night, even during the day. The streets were lit with neon signs, and the occasional functioning streetlamp. The smell, well, you get used to it.
I was checking on a crime scene, one I wasn’t invited to, naturally. An old flame of mine on the force is sweet on me, and usually lets me waltz right in. Not that I'm going to solve the crime for them, or much less help most of the time– But it entertains. And that’s what I’m here for..
Flash Sentry is a bit of an idiot. Not that I’d ever complain about other ponies’s idiocies– In my line of work, that’s just another leverage to use over them.
The incompetence of Manehattan’s finest amuses me, and it certainly is beneficial to me– After all, when ponies get desperate, and cops aren’t helping, they might consider private detective work, and that’s where I come in.
The sun had just risen and I was staring at dead bodies from a rooftop. Flash must have begun catching on at this point, cause he flew away from his squad to check on me and tell me off. Honestly, it was a boring crime scene, not much I’d add to it.
Obviously a turf war in a drug operation, but the amusing part is that it clearly had been visited by our resident vigilante. Some call her the ‘Night mare’, but I don’t care much. This kind of case is like gum, and I don’t plan on swallowing, I'm just here for the taste.
What do I care if some foolhardy mare wants to try to take on crime with her own hooves? Her identity can remain a mystery, personally, I don’t give a damn– But it’s fun to watch the stallions in blue squirm.
Especially when they’re clearly misinterpreting evidence. A lot of them just accuse the vigilante of murder because it’s easy. Having a public enemy to point and scowl sure is convenient, but I’ve never seen a single crime scene that implies that she’s ever gotten her hooves dirty and actually killed.
Outside of taking on criminals with her bare hooves, she’s out there casting magic, that much is obvious. Immediate easy profiling, unicorn, and incredibly well trained, at that. She leaves the evidence of the crimes committed by her opponents in plain sight, and tends to destroy firearms. Sometimes she even leaves signs pointing the authorities to the next crime she might has stopped. A bit tryhard, in my opinion.
Another detail on this crime scene is the fact that there were survivors in this event, bloodied up, but definitely alive– And the dead ones were all from friendly fire.
After all, the Night Mare is finicky. Dodging, teleporting, those drophead idiots are bound to accidentally shoot each other. She must have been there to expose the drug operation, naturally things would have gone south. But hey, she’s out there still alive. Silver linings.
I think it’s funniest when she beats the crap out of cops that try to bring her in, though. What, do they expect a porcupine not to prick? Idiots.
“Shimmer. To what do I owe the pleasure? Looking for a fix?” He couldn’t help but have a friendly tone, even if it was hiding beneath his angry demeanor. Flash Sentry has this tick of politeness– I kind of appreciate it, he’s the only cop I know for sure isn’t dirty.
“A fix, Sentry?” I couldn’t help but grin. By ‘fix’ he meant my fill of mystery or detective work for the day. There were always presumptions with me, and right or wrong, they always amused. “I got all I need right here.” I simply pointed towards the crime scene on street level, but with that same motion, took my hoof to the inside of my coat and pulled out a flask.
A bit of whiskey, or maybe it was rum? I didn’t care at the moment. If you can’t afford the good stuff, you settle.
And Sunset Shimmer has never been known for affording the best of the best, much less being it.
“Ugh, it’s only morning and you’re drinking!” He crossed his arms like he was my dad– And disappointed as well, which only served to make me laugh.
“Hah, what, you think I don’t drink when the sun is up too?” Laughing at his expense was always easy, it was cheap. And if it's cheap, why not buy in?
“Whatever.” He shook his head, as if he was letting me out with a warning. “Are you coming down to take a proper look, or what?”
“Nah, I don’t care.” And I really didn’t. I’ve seen more interesting crime scenes, and I had already gotten my fix. “If you’re looking to catch your girl, it’s pretty obvious she was here, but she didn’t kill anypony. You can see the bullet holes on the walls are in a spread pattern– One of those idiots was trying to hit her, and failing, and he hit his own guys. Simple as that.”
He took a glance down, then back at me, with that same stupid look he had whenever he was being stupid– Or being impressed by me. I didn’t feel flattered though… Or insulted that our stallions in blue sucked at their jobs.
Mayor Celestia could only do so much. All that sweetness and desire to clean the city isn’t going to do anything if the people in it don’t share the same interest. Been there, done that. And I was done thinking about her.
I was already falling asleep in this very conversation. “W-well, thanks for the assistance, Shimmer.” I tipped my hat, and he tipped his, almost chivalrously? The kind of gesture that’s too sweet for me. Almost innocent. I just turned away and started walking, I wasn't in the mood for his baby face, or for socialization. It was morning, and I needed a bit of a rest before my day shift.
I muttered some sort of goodbye affirmation, and walked away. I don’t tend to always walk on the streets, jumping from rooftop to rooftop is simpler, plus, removes the risk of constantly bumping into other ponies. I for one prefer my privacy. Maybe that’s why I’m a ‘private’ investigator?
I have been known to take my falls, though. Serves me right for leaping from roof to roof while drunk. Fully deserved, all of them.
The sun was covered by clouds of smog, for all we knew, it was night still. Not that I minded, I’ve had my fill of the sun.
The thing that bugged me the most was the lack of interesting cases nowadays. What’s a girl gotta do to have an interesting mystery to solve? Detective work wasn’t a chore, it was bills. But every recent case I had had been simple, or just a chore.
With a disinterested yawn, I leapt down staircases on the side of my apartment complex, and was utterly delighted to not run into a single pony at this hour. I couldn’t be bothered.
Dingy lights, dirty floors, and a certain smell you just can’t figure out. As inviting as always.
My hoofsteps echoed in the dark hallways, and I could hear an argument in one of my neighbors apartments. At it again, as usual. This is why it’s better to be alone. Fend for yourself, hold your own.
I reached my floor, and was nearly surprised to have a visitor, one which I wasn’t particularly keen on seeing sitting impatiently by my door.
“Miss belle. Our appointment is in… Four hours.” I couldn’t help but smirk, tilting my head and tipping my hat. I knew exactly why she was here– The seamstress was one hell of an impatient mare. The smirk was due to reading her like a book, not due to appreciating her presence.
She was one fine dame, body shaped just right, and always took care of her mane. All that perfume and glamor has got to be unnerving to put up with, much less the bossy demeanor. Beauty never fazed me. Not much ever did. Frankly, she wasn’t my type.
My type being ‘nobody.’
I honestly just wanted to pass out during the four hours I mentioned… but she had different plans. “Are you joking?! I’m still awaiting results! You’re not sleeping, I’m not sleeping, I want an update on my case!” She always spoke in the same tone, a tone that demanded your attention. And I didn’t appreciate demands.
“Good rule of thumb, Miss Rarity.” I approached her, narrowing my eyes, inspecting from top to bottom. “If you want to look inconspicuous, maybe don’t wear one of your originals.”
This was something that she took offense to, as it was a direct jab at her outfit. What kind of a mare that doesn’t want to be recognized walking on this side of town wears something so flashy? Even if she was wearing all black, and covered her face, she might as well have been a peacock, with a feathery hat, and a frilly dress.
“Don’t take that tone with me, you’re on MY payroll, detective shimmer!” She pointed a hoof accusingly at me, and I beheld it like it was an insect in my soup. “Now I demand updates on my case!!”
I let out a sigh, rolling my eyes. After all, I fully well knew this wasn’t going away. Rarity wasn’t the kind of mare to quit– That stubbornness matched mine, which I appreciated, but I sure as hell wasn’t going to express. With no more hesitation, I took my keys and opened the doors to my office.
‘Sundown investigations’
And of course, she entered first, like she owned the place, strutting those long legs without missteps.
I wasn’t gonna let her get under my skin. I’ve been told I’ve got a pretty good poker face. Rivaled only by my shit luck at poker. In a job like this, you need to be able to keep your cool– And it might be hard to believe, considering the kind of mare I am, but I’ve gotten immensely good at it.
How could I describe my home? ‘The coziest shithole you’ve ever seen’ sure ain’t it. My office and my home were one and the same, two rooms, and one was an all-too-small bathroom. My couch was also my bed, but I fell asleep sitting by my table more often than not. The only furniture was my table, and several filing cabinets where I stored my case files, some of which I kept my clothes, others my food– Not that I own many.
The room had only one annoyingly large window, of which I left the blinds often pulled down– Not due to the sun reaching my office, it never did– but due to the frustratingly large neon signs of the businesses down the street that often bathed my office in red light; And with the blinds, it was as if streaks of color crossed through my clients. Sleeping with my hat over my head was a necessity, as much as sleeping with a pint of whiskey in me.
Silver linings. It meant I rarely ever needed to turn on my lights. Saved the bills.
“Would it kill you to tidy up once in a while?!” Rarity fussed as she stood in the middle of my office like she owned the place. “Eugh, what is that smell?”
“You payin’ me ‘detect’ that too? ‘Cause I’m off the clock.” I bit, walking over to my desk. And of course, before I even reached my chair, she was already sitting in hers, frowning at me like I was the source of the smell in the room, which frankly, I wasn’t sure if I was or not. “Now. You’re not giving me a choice on getting to business or not, so let’s get down to business.”
“Have you gotten any dirt on Suri Polomare?! It’s been weeks!!” She demanded that out of me, and I didn’t like it. Even if I did agree that this was a bit of unusual inefficiency for my track record, not that I'd ever admit it.
“Well, if you wanna make this quick–” I placed a hoof on the table, ensuring that she was listening. “There have been no major positive updates on your case. Are we done?”
“Are we done?!” She spoke, undignified, impatient as ever, and I leaned back on my chair, knowing this would be a long night. “I’ve already told you, she’s a plagiarist! A thief! Stealing my work, and likely many others! And she’s profiting off of it too, how in the WORLD have you found no dirt on her yet?!”
I wasn’t going to let her keep talking, or else she wouldn't stop. I leaned forward, and tried being professional. “You know what they call the kind of evidence you’ve brought me? Hearsay. Circumstantial. She can deny anything and everything, it’s your word against hers. Now, I’ve been looking into others she might have stolen from, but until I build a proper case, we have nothing to move upon; Which will be difficult with the finicky coworkers she has, and–.”
“--Could you possibly be THIS incompetent?!” She barked at me, waving her mane around like she needed to whip the air, and it took all my energy to not roll my eyes. “I thought that with your infamy, you would have results!!”
Once again, I swallowed any anger. What she was doing was a tantrum, something that wasn’t uncommon for the occasional client. All I needed to do was lay the facts. “Suri isn’t plagiarising by accident. She knows she’s doing it, and she’s being careful– Careful enough to be able to cover for herself if she ever got caught. I’ve been interviewing some of the ponies that have worked with her, and a lot of them are too intimidated by her to let out any useful information.” I took out a few notes I had stored in a notepad under my desk, sliding it over to her, drawing her attention immediately. “And I’m sure you might know, she knows you know. You have made my job substantially more difficult by antagonizing her.”
“Well what do you expect me to do?! Stand idly by as she makes a mockery of my art?!” She scoffed, throwing her muzzle up, and I wasn’t sure if it was due to the smell, or due to pride. “I refuse to stand idly by and not be vocal about what an awful mare she is!”
I didn’t reply. I had a bigger priority. That priority being taking out a bottle of whiskey and a glass of it for good measure, and serving it for myself, all while not looking at her.
“You cannot be serious…!” She scowled, looking at my movements. “Drinking at this hour?!”
And I smirked, raising an eyebrow. “What, do you want some too?”
“The depths of your unprofessionalism astound me, detective.” This time, her tone was serious. Like she was trying to give me genuine advice, or trying to pass judgment. I didn’t let it shake me. It would take a lot more than that to get under my skin.
I served myself, and downed a drink, and only after I was done, did I speak. “Like I was saying. The fact that you’ve openly antagonized her is a problem. Because she knows somepony, that being you, is trying to expose her. So she’s being more careful.”
She blew raspberries, shaking her head, as if the notion that she could make a mistake was laughable, and of course, I continued– Because she had already made a mistake. “And she’s not just playing defensively, either.”
Silence. I wanted her to get there by herself. The quiet was filled only by the muffled sounds of the streets, and the occasional neighbor making noise.
“...What do you mean by that?”
Now we were getting to the interesting part. I narrowed my eyes, making sure to observe her reaction. “I mean that she is trying to get dirt on you, Miss Belle. And she tried hiring me to get it, too. What a fortunate coincidence.” I watched her closely, first surprise, then anger, as expected.
“W-well she can look all she wants! I’m an open book! I run my business quite fair, and I pay my dues!” She fussed, and I could hear a hint of nervousness in her voice. The kind of nerves that pass by anyone, as soon as they’re told they’re being investigated for wrongdoing, whether they did something or not.
“So.” I continued, still watching her closely. “In the interest of getting information out of her, I took the job. Getting closer to her has given me a few interesting tidbits, but nothing I can use for a full case yet.”
“Wh– You’re not telling me you are on her payroll, now?! You– You turncoat!!” I sat idly, as she tried rubbing dirt over my integrity. “I come to you in an hour of need, and you betray me like this?!”
‘Drama queen’, that’s what I’ve heard ponies call Rarity. Doesn’t seem far fetched.
I spoke plainly, almost coldly, maintaining my poker face. “I’m just doing my job.”
My tone clearly wasn’t appreciated by her. She didn’t take it as professionalism, but rather, as outright hostility towards her. So she threw hostility at me right back.
“This is why everypony from 6th avenue to 15th street hates you.”
I stopped.
I didn’t allow my eyebrows to twitch, as I clenched my jaw.
Now it was personal.
Standing from my table, I reached into one of my file cabinets, and took out a folder.
In it, pictures. Pictures I didn’t yet reveal.
“Well here’s the interesting thing, Miss Belle… I did find dirt on you.” Sitting back on my chair, I dangled the folder over me with my magic.
She said nothing, as her confident demeanor took a brief pause to glare at that folder, wondering over the contents within.
And I didn’t show it yet. I wanted to make her stew in it a bit. There was a lesson here to be taught about my business, and about respect– And for a limited time only, I would call myself a teacher.
“...You’re bluffing.” Her eyes twitched, and her lips pursed. “...What is in that folder?!”
No, I wasn’t going to give it that easy. After that insult, I was going to take personal enjoyment out of watching her squirm. “You sure like to revolve yourself with a certain kind of company, don’t you, Miss Belle? High class, all the way. Only the fanciest, only the richest… What would those ponies think, if they knew the kind of company you kept, indoors.”
I took great enjoyment out of seeing her eyes widen, and seeing her internally question the validity of my ‘bluff’.
I stated the next words carefully, as if I was delivering a swift strike. “You sure seem close with your pie deliverer.” I couldn’t hold in a grin anymore. Slowly, I started taking out pictures, one by one, spreading them across the table, and still, I saved the best for last. “Apple is your preference, isn’t it?”
Her face reddened, as she looked at those pictures intently, seeing the familiar face in them. Her eyes darted from picture to picture.
“Amusing.” I grinned, watching her expression twist. “I didn’t take you for a mare that would swing for the same gender– But a farmer?” I took great joy in seeing her squirm. The pictures I had taken were very clear, showing a certain closeness and affection between two mares, one that was disguised by the imagery of a simple pie delivery from a farmer.
She laughed nervously, and shot her muzzle up defiantly, face still red. The best part was yet to come. “Humpf! These pictures prove nothing! Like you said, it’s all hearsay! My word against yours! She is just my pie deliverer, there is nothing more to it–”
Quietly, I took the last pictures from my folder and placed them on the table, raising an eyebrow, watching her expression intently.
Her jaw dropped, her face grew even redder, and she began sweating, as she inspected the pictures closer, much to my amusement. “H-how– HOW DID YOU GET THESE PHOTOS?!”
“It wasn’t hard to take them, you two were very distracted.” There it was– The swift punishment for her doubting my work, and above all, my capability. And I took great joy in delivering it.
She stammered, flustered, and swiftly, picked those photos and tore them all to shreds with her magic, and shot her muzzle up as if she had won– But her demeanor had crumbled already. I had won.
“T-there!! No photos, no dirt! You have nothing!”
“I copied those in triplicate.” My smug expression irritated her, and her frustration turned to desperation. Swiftly, without even moving, I used my magic to take out another folder from the cabinet, and spread its contents into the table. The same contents.
Once again, she watched, slack jawed. Then she turned to me, angry, incredibly angry, but pleading. “What do you want from me, you crook!?! More money?! To humiliate me?! To watch me go down in flames?!!! You and Suri really are birds of a feather!!”
“What I want–” I spoke, coldly, without blinking. “--Is for you to respect my work, respect me, and no longer take that tone with me.”
She remained silent, and finally, I saw the expression I had been looking for all night in her face– Shame.
Placing a hoof on the table, I assured her– Just enough. “I’m not doing anything with these pictures, and I’m sure as hell not showing them to Suri, or anypony else. I’m only playing along with working for her so I can gather more evidence for your case.”
She remained silent, and I took that as a chance to add more. “You need to be more careful. Now, I’m not saying I frown upon it– Frankly, I don’t care who you’re bagging, that’s your business. But you must know what a mare like Suri would do to your reputation, if she had these pictures.”
If you want respect in this town, sometimes you have to force it. Crush it out of them if you need to.
And that’s how Rarity began to respect me.
Certainly not the most impressive thing that would happen that night, though.
With an exhale, she rolled her eyes– But I could see it in her face that she meant it. “...Fine. I'll be more careful. And I’m sorry–”
Now, how can I explain what happened next?
I don’t have a twin.
I don’t have family left in this city.
I’ve seen some weird shit in this job.
But never, in my life, did I expect a mare that looked just like me to simply appear out of thin air, falling on my wooden floor with force hard enough that I could swear she was going to break right through.
Well, ‘looked just like me’ is a bit of a stretch. She was much taller than me, definitely stronger– she wasn’t wearing clothes, a fact that made it all too apparent that she was covered in scars and recent wounds.
And of course, most noticeable of all, she had wings.
What the fuck was I looking at?
“What the fuck are you?” I raised my hat, just to make sure I was looking right– Not that what I was seeing was deniable.
Rarity had yelled out in the moment of impact, and she was breathing uneasily at the moment. “W-What in the heavens is THIS?!! She looks like YOU, darling?!?!”
The other me stood– With a look that mixed exhaustion with confusion– But surprisingly, not confusion at the circumstance, just wondering what room she was in, like she had done this before.
She spoke, and it was with my voice; She even matched my tiredness when I spoke, and I couldn’t help but speculate on who or what this could be, failing to reach a conclusion. “Sorry to interrupt you two and… What looks like pictures of Rarity and Applejack having very rough sex in the back of a boutique… What?” Her gaze grimaced in confusion at the sight of the pictures on my table, and I just kept my eyes on her. Was I dreaming?
“D-detective Sunset, what is the meaning of this?!” Rarity demanded explanations, and I had none.
She looked tired. The other me looked tired. The kind of tiredness of a pony that had been losing sleep– A look that is unmistakable, after all, I saw it in the mirror every day.
“Sorry if I’m intruding.” She led her gaze around my office, and she seemed to take interest in several things, as if the contents of my room were alien to her. “I’m Sunset Shimmer from a parallel universe. I’ll only be here for an hour, so…”
With a decisive motion I couldn’t help but respect, she took the bottle from my desk– And emptied it, by drinking it. She then walked over to my couch and sprawled herself out uncomfortably on it, with a loud exhale, letting the bottle roll on the floor.
It was like looking in a strange, twisted mirror.
She was way too large for my couch. A fact me and Rarity certainly watched, in our own degrees of confusion.
“Carry on.” She muttered, and it looked like she was trying to fall asleep.
On my couch.
I was speechless. And that's usually hard to achieve.
“Detective Sunset, what in the wide world of Equestria is going on?!” She demanded answers out of me, and I had none.
“Miss Belle, I… I think I just got a new case.” I kept my gaze on that copy of me, on my couch. “Are we done for the day? Maybe you’d like to reschedule?”
She alternated her gaze between the pony on my couch and me. And I didn’t blame her. “F-fine!! Keep me updated, and call me if there are any developments!! Your business, honestly, it's a chicanery…!!”
Gathering herself, she walked over to my door, and surprised me. “...Thank you, detective.” Then walked out.
…Then walked right back in, over to my desk and pointed at the pictures on it, with a red tinge in her face. “...Can I have these?”
“Help yourself.” I suppressed a chuckle, handing them over, and immediately upon safekeeping them, she nearly galloped out of my office with another barely audible thank you.
Quiet once more.
I stayed in my chair, for a brief moment. Watching my other self in her strange demeanor. I blinked a couple of times, just to make sure she was really there.
I took a deep breath, with my eyes closed.
Then opened them.
She was still there.
“...So. You’re me from some other universe?” I stood finally, coming over to inspect her. “How's that working out for you?”
“Bad.” I heard her mutter, with her head leaning on the couch with that same low-energy demeanor.
“Wow. How about that.” I scoffed, sarcastically. Another version of myself, who was doing badly. “You really are me.” Coming closer, I inspected her scars. “Do you mind not bleeding on my couch? Usually only I do that.” Memories of more than a handful of brawls being slept off in this very couch were recontextualized with this thing that looked like me doing the same.
I heard only an undefined grumble from her, then she turned her head. “So what are you, a detective or something? This world seems very different from what I usually see…! Kind of like the Power ponies one, or that one with the humans–”
“Power ponies? Like in those foal comics?” I raised an eyebrow, as I continued to look at her closely. This was certainly an interesting case, and I wouldn’t mind getting to the bottom of it. “What exactly are you doing here? And how did an unicorn get wings, too–”
She turned to me completely. And she asked me a question I wasn’t ready for; A question that made me freeze. She asked the question nonchalantly– Out of the blue. “Where’s Twilight Sparkle, in this universe?”
I pride myself on being known for my poker face; In fact, most ponies would say it's like I can read their minds. Idiotic notion, but regardless, I don't have a tell. But that name-- It doesn't matter if I'm folding cards or in a brawl. If I hear the name 'Twilight Sparkle' my eye twitches.
I almost, by instinct, said ‘who’s asking’? Which would have been endlessly ironic, and that is not lost on me.
“How should I know?” I lied, but given my clearly angry demeanor, she could tell I knew. She really must be me, considering she could read me like a book.
She stood from the couch and towered over me– And I sure wasn’t expecting what would happen next. She extended a hoof and touched me– Locking me in place.
I felt incredibly strange. Like I was being shown a movie, in fast forward, yet understanding all of it. And also like someone was rummaging through my mind like it was a file cabinet.
For that brief, agonizing, strange moment, it was as if I was taken out of my body, and flung through the life of another– deeply disconcerting, and yet, perfectly peaceful.
A world of magic everywhere, a world of color, a world of peace… A world of hope.
She let me go, and I nearly collapsed. I don’t know what the hell had just happened, but it was like I had seen memories of a life I hadn’t lived– One with magic and beauty and love. Completely alien to me. And of course, Twilight was in those memories, too much for my comfort. “Wh- What the fuck did you just do to me?!”
“She’s the mayor’s apprentice in this world? The mayor is Celestia, and you were her apprentice before… There are strange constants, even in the weirdest worlds…!” She spoke, and I could barely hear it. I was beginning to be convinced that I was currently having a drunk hallucination, but evidence pointed to the contrary. “This is another one of those worlds where same-gender relationships are unusual and shunned, huh? Just like with the humans… What a weird set of universes…”
“W-what did– Castles? Dragons? Winged unicorns?!” Was all I could mutter, before I caught my breath; Trying to stave off nausea– Kind of hard. I suddenly felt the need for a proper drink of water.
“We’re called Alicorns.” She stated, as she walked by my apartment, inspecting everything, and stopping by my board of cases– Dozens of newspaper entries related to cases I either participated in, or enjoyed studying, all hung up on my walls. “Your world is so strange…!”
“MY world is strange?” I finally caught my breath, walking over back to my desk, scurrying to get a bottle of water out of my drawers. “You’re the one that comes from the super colorful friendly sparkle world– Yuck.” I at long last managed to get a drink from water, it refreshed my windpipe more than I’d like to admit. “Now, May I ask again, why the hell are you here? Aren’t you royalty or whatever?” I scoffed at the notion– As if Sunset Shimmer could ever amount to that high. “And married to that Twilight. Blargh.” The very idea was infuriating to me, and utterly confused me..
“I’m not here on purpose.” She spoke, not even looking at me. “I was thrown into the multiverse against my will. I’m trying to find my way back home.”
I blinked a couple times, processing the gibberish, leaning back on my chair. I then asked her a question that was completely and entirely rhetorical. The answer seemed pretty obvious. “...How’s that working out for you?”
“...Bad.”
That word implied plenty. The tone was of mourning. Like she was at her own funeral.
After processing it, I couldn’t help but snicker. “Well how about that. You had a good thing going for you, then it all went south and you lost it all. That’s got to be the most Sunset Shimmer thing you could ever do.”
She remained silent for a moment, still not looking at me. After a painful quiet that she seemed to mull over, she finally responded. “...Yeah. it really is.”
That amused me, but the sorrow in her words were palpable– Like she wore her pain in her sleeve, and yet, kept it perfectly hidden.
…Kind of like a poker face.
Another moment of silence passed, where I wondered over the strangeness of this meeting.
But this wasn’t a case. A strange phenomenon, sure, but there wasn’t a mystery to be solved here. If anything, by tomorrow, I would think this was a dream.
I decided to buy in– Prod a little. Call it morbid curiosity. “So you’re married, huh? I’m gonna take a wild guess and assume you’re the only Sunset in your multiverse thing that is married.”
“You really are a detective.” She spoke, devoid of enthusiasm, like she was being reminded of something, maybe a lot of things. I didn’t need a yes or no, that response gave it all. And it was amusing.
Then she spoke again– Words that knocked me off balance.
“What’s your problem with Twilight Sparkle?”
I tightened my jaw, as I narrowed my gaze at the floor.
What wasn’t my problem with Twilight Sparkle? Perfect little nerd, paragon of virtue, who took my position after I fumbled it so spectacularly. She is the living embodiment of everything I lacked, and I detested even thinking about her. Not just that, but she and the mayor shared the same idealized ideologies of changing everything for the better– And were both Equally ineffective at it. Naivety, in power. Every single cell of my being was repulsed by that little nerd, who got to reach a height I fell from. And in the end, she didn’t even know I existed. I was a bug in her horseshoe and she’d never know she stepped on me.
“I don’t have a problem with Twilight Sparkle.” I lied, robotically, forcing the words out of me.
Lucky for me, she didn’t seem interested enough to pry more out of me. She simply hummed an affirmation and kept her eyes on the board.
What a fucking agony.
I exhaled, and was going to ask her to get out of my office already so I could go back to work– A lie, of course, I just wanted to sleep– but she spoke before I did. “What’s this case, right here?”
Begrudgingly, I stepped from out of my desk, walking over to her, checking on the case she pointed at.
It was a newspaper with a blurry photo of the Unicorn that disguised herself head to toe so she could fight crime– Amusing to see, always. “That's the ‘Night Mare’. A vigilante that tries fighting crime in our city. Not much of interesting to it, but her methods are… Marginally effective. Although some folks have tried hiring me to find out her real identity, I don’t really care enough to–”
“--She kind of looks like Twilight.”
I paused.
The first instinct that came to me was laughter.
“That’s fucking laughable. As if the nerd could ever raise a hoof to fight crime.” I shook my head dismissively, shrugging it off.
And yet, that ‘Alicorn’ me kept looking at the picture. She muttered, seemingly not very invested, but still adding her thoughts. “Nearly every Twilight I meet in the multiverse is a goody two shoes… Why would this one be any different?” And that mumbling intentionally made the cogs in my head spin overdrive.
I narrowed my eyes, looking at the picture. The body type matched…
Twilight was an idealist. Just like Celestia. It was very clear in every campaign or change attempt that they had on fixing up Manehattan, that Twilight was 100% on board with improving the city, no matter how naive her ideals were.
Celestia only had talented ponies on her team– She only trained those that showed promise, that much I knew, having had first hand experience with it. I was well aware that Twilight must have made it to this position by being incredibly talented at magic.
What’s more, she worked on city hall, side by side with the mayor. This gave her a perfect birds-eye-view of every problem and issue that our ‘fair’ city had, and that had to pile up. That had to be frustrating. That had to get under your skin– Force you to consider if going with the law is the right way to do things… The only way to do things.
That could send you over the edge. Try to make things better outside of the law.
My eyes narrowed, as my mind profiled her, considered every option, every angle.
Twilight Sparkle, in all her perfectness, was beginning to, even if loosely, fit a perfect profile of the ‘Night Mare’. The Mysterious Mare that attempted to tackle the problems of our city with her own hooves.
I didn’t have an interest in unmasking that vigilante before…
…But I did now.
“...I think I just got a new case.”
It had been a long streak of boring cases for a couple months, anyway.
This was going to challenge me. Push me.
It was going to be deeply, profoundly interesting.
City hall… I rarely came by this part of the city anymore. I wasn’t interested in running into my old mentor. But now, I was here on business.
I staked out the building, in the guise of simply lounging on a park bench. I could at least appreciate that my old teacher kept things tidy around here. Night had fallen, I had said goodbye to my strange other self, and had moved on to my newest case– I wasn’t about to ruminate on why a strange magical visitor simply appeared in my .
I had considered my options at first. Staking out her apartment. Rooting through her trash. But no, this was going to take a direct approach.
And there she was. The little nerd came out of City Hall. Dressed up in a cute little suit, adjusting her glasses, clumsily carrying several papers that she was stashing on her purse as she moved.
Time to go to work.
“Excuse me, Miss Sparkle?” It wasn’t often that I was polite, but for this, I would need to be incredibly gentle– A fine toothed comb.
She had to double take, nearly bumping into me and swiftly apologizing, with embarrassment in her gaze. “Y-yes! That’s me! U-um, who are you?”
I took a moment to analyze the finer details up close.
Messy hair on a bob, the suit was tight, yet ill fitting, she had bags under her eyes, glasses in impeccably clean condition, and the most interesting detail, a small, but noticable bruise on cheek.
Could be from being punched– That much I had intimate knowledge off. I made simple assumptions, but gave into nothing. The glasses were perfectly intact, and yet she was bruised, and the ‘Night Mare’ wore no glasses. Though of course, the bruise could have been a simple result of walking without glasses, and as a result, slamming her head onto a wall, or anything of the sort, which would explain them being intact.
I had to take it slow. Presume nothing, consider everything, be absolutely sure. Build this case like one would build a home.
“Detective Shimmer, P.I.” I spoke as politely as I could, tipping my hat. I was about to say my lie over why I was there, but she spoke before me.
“Ohhh, wait, weren’t you the one that caught the ‘origami’ killer? I’ve heard of you!” Her demeanor was giddy. Almost relaxed, innocent. “Mayor Celestia has a couple of newspapers with your cases on the walls of her office, I think she’s a fan!” She giggled to herself.
That did make me freeze for a moment– Not in a million years was I expecting to hear that.
No, this wasn’t about me. Think about the case. Move it forward. “The very same.” I nodded, with a smile. “I was hoping that as the Mayor's personal assistant, you could help me with a case?”
I observed her demeanor carefully, every single reaction. At first, there was a certain shock, and I could notice concern, but after, with a slight shake of her head, she smiled again, getting excited. “W-wow! Me? Really? Sounds exciting!! …What is the case about…?” I noticed special apprehension when she asked that question. I was onto something.
With a hoof, I offered her to move forward. “You looked like you were heading somewhere. Shall we walk and talk?”
She started walking, smiling nervously, and I followed. “O-oh I was just heading home!! Nowhere else haha. So, um, your case–”
I could definitely see a certain defensiveness about her, as if she was hiding something. But I wasn’t making any assumptions yet. Merely collecting data. And so, as is to be expected, I began lying. “I’m investigating potential corruption in City Hall. A lot of articles in Manehattan believe that our mayor is to blame for the state of our city, and my clients are private. So with that–”
“Humpf! The integrity of City Hall shouldn’t be questioned! We’re passionately doing our very best every day to improve the city and make it a better place–” A defensiveness and a sense of integrity. Cute. She really was just like the Mayor. I reigned it in before I lost her.
“That is precisely why I'm investigating, Miss Sparkle.” I assured her, making sure to keep it friendly. “After all, wouldn’t it be better if the public had open knowledge that City Hall was investigated, and nothing was wrong?”
Her demeanor changed on a dime, almost apologetically, flustered once more. How in the world did this little nerd replace me? “O-oh! Right! That’s very noble of you! How can I help?”
Noble. Hah. “For starters, I could interview you–” I noticed that it was quite late, and that I was getting hungry, but I needed to see this through; After all, I was far from started. “How about over dinner? My treat..”
I noticed her nervousness increase, as she looked me up and down, measuring me, but with a nod, she smiled again. “T-that sounds great! I’m getting pretty hungry too. I know a pretty good spot, just around the block, if you’d like?”
“Lead the way, Miss Sparkle.” Hook, line and sinker.
I had just successfully achieved interview status with the mare that I suspected to be our most revered and wanted vigilante.
There were certainly a handful of signs that pointed to my suspicions, but I wasn’t going to jump on anything just yet– This was going to take finesse and care. Twilight seemed to get nervous easily, and the last thing I needed was her suspecting my true motives.
She thought I was interviewing her regarding City Hall, when I would instead be interviewing her about her.
And if I had to go to several dinners with this weird nerd to uncover her secret identity, well, that was certainly what I’d do.
Little did I know this would have been the most interesting case of my life.
But for tonight, we were simply having dinner.