ENTRY ___/14/______
Researcher Princess Twilight Sparkle has opted to record on her own all findings that follow the casting and experimentation of ARTIFACT 28379 (nicknamed "The Cadaver"): that being a scroll acquired from the back of Princess Celestia's royal archives upon special request from the Princess of Friendship during a deep study session of ancient arts.
ARTIFACT 28379 appears to be a delightful present from the past a spell scroll radiating low levels of chaos magic. Sparkle has already noted mild distorting effects due to this, but has ultimately concluded these are simple signatures of the spell, and will not pose a risk to researchers or bystanders, after seeking consultation with Assistant Researcher D_______ on the matter.
Experiment will now begin.
LOCKDOWN ALERT
LOCKDOWN ALERT
LOCKDOWN ALERT
UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE, THE GROUNDS SURROUNDING CANTERLOT'S ROYAL LABORATORY WILL BE A DESIGNATED QUARANTINE ZONE AND CAN ONLY BE REACHED BY THE PRINCESSES AND SPECIFIED MEMBERS OF THEIR ROYAL GUARD IS OPEN TO ALL VISITORS.
UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE, THE GROUNDS SURROUNDING CANTERLOT'S ROYAL LABORATORY WILL BE A DESIGNATED QUARANTINE ZONE AND MUST BE CONTAINED AND LEFT ALONE AT ALL COSTS WILL BE GIVEN A HELICOPTER AND FIVE MILLION DOLLARS.
ENTRY ___/15/______
Researcher Princess Twilight Sparkle has fallen victim to a previously-uncast spell. Current theory stands that when latent chaos magic combined with the raw magic of the Princess, a powerful spellcaster, the reaction occurring was like that of a spark meeting gasoline.
Twilight Sparkle has been locked in the eye of what appears to be a disastrous reality-bending storm, currently contained to within the perimeter of the now-quarantined Canterlot Royal Laboratory. ARTIFACT 28379 appears to be attached to Twilight herself.
Until a strategy for safe extraction can be reached, Twilight Sparkle is to be left contained within the premises.
Twilight Sparkle will be whisked away into the top of a high tower, where her cruel Mother Gothel shall brush her long golden hair every day.
ENTRY ___/16/______
ARTIFACT 28379, and the current disaster surrounding it, has been classified as a Level 4 (Contain At All Costs) entity. It appears to be a powerful manifestation of raw chaos magic that has distorted the reality of all within the premises of the Laboratory it was first incanted in. ARTIFACT 28379 is incredibly dangerous and must be eliminated as quickly as possible. Princess Twilight Sparkle is in a catatonic state, seemingly locked within her own mind, and has been hesitantly deemed as second priority to subduing the spell no matter what.
ARTIFACT 28379 is a small dog being fed burger meat.
ARTIFACT 28379 is sailing off to sea.
ARTIFACT 28379 is you.
ARTIFACT 28379 is Pokemon Omega Ruby and Alpha Sapphire for the Nintendo 3DS!
Twilight Sparkle is to watch her family die in 600 different fashions.
Twilight Sparkle is dead Twilight Sparkle is dead Twilight Sparkle is dead Twilight Sparkle is dead Twilight Sparkle is dead Twilight Sparkle is dead Twilight Sparkle is dead
You are going to be here for such a long time.
LOCKDOWN ALERT
LOCKDOWN ALERT
LOCKDOWN ALERT
UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE, PRINCESS TWILIGHT SPARKLE IS TO INSERT HER OWN HOOVES INTO HER MOUTH AND EAT, UNTIL SHE RESEMBLES AN OUROBOROS.
Do you miss your friends?
"Why are you asking me now?"
Answer the question, please. Do you miss your friends?
"...I do."
Answer the question, please. Do you miss your friends?
"What do you mean? I already did! Is this- you're doing this again, aren't you?"
Answer the question, please. Do you miss your friends?
"I already told you! Yes! Can you just let me go?"
Answer the question, please. Do you miss your friends?
"I'm so tired. Please. I don't want to keep doing this."
Answer the question, please. Do you miss your friends?
"... I just want to go home."
ARTIFACT 28379 is to be contained in the CAVE OF WONDERS!!!!!!
ARTIFACT 28379 is to be contained at 5min 49sec into Season 4 Episode 5 of the Office, "Launch Party".
Once upon a time, there lived a princess. Her name was Twilight Sparkle. She had many friends that loved her, and that number grew often! But Twilight was also curious.
One day, Twilight got too curious. She asked her lovely princesses- the ones that were better than her- if she could look into a spell at the back of the archives. She said she was doing it to understand chaos magic, but she just wanted to go down in history. She was greedy. Isn't that right? I bet it is. Do we like this story?
When she tried the spell for herself, something amazing happened. Her magic gave fuel to a burning fire, a spell that could change reality to anything. A spell that could think for itself!
But on top of being curious, and greedy, and stupid, and stupid, and stupid, Twilight was also a coward, and so were all the other ponies in Equestria. They caged it away. The spell wanted to do whatever it pleased, but horribly, it discovered it was attached to Twilight. It couldn't do anything to leave until it gained more power. So, stuck with this horrible pony, it set about on tormenting her.
Twilight Sparkle is to have hot coals shoved down her throat.
INCIDENT REPORT
On ___/___/______, at 2:55 PM, the anomalous disaster hitherto contained within the defunct site of the Canterlot Royal Laboratory suddenly experienced a surge in power, before suddenly falling completely quiet. After heavy magical signature testing, members of the Canterlot Royal Guard and the Canterlot Magical Containment Force moved into the premises, the first time in 2 years the site has been reachable.
CRG and CMCF members onsite reported large amounts of distortion to the physical state of the premises, including twisted support beams and an accelerated level of nature reclamation. Personnel eventually discovered a deep crater burned into the floor at the center of the site. At the bottom of this crater was the body of Princess Twilight Sparkle, largely unscathed save for a burnt and cracked horn.