Thornton did his best to keep his breathing under control as he and Spiracle neared Ponyville. He closed his eyes and followed closely beside the bug, who let a thin trail of emotion lead him forward. It was a slow walk, and more information for his overloaded senses, but he pushed on.
“This may sound silly,” Spiracle told him, “but if you go around walking as something that you’re not, you’ll have more trouble with emotional overload. The way the emotions hit you isn’t exactly how it should be that way. You process it based on how it comes in, which is determined by the shape of your body.”
What? What did that even mean? Still, Thornton followed her advice and changed back into a dumb black changeling. He didn’t know if he felt an improvement—he didn’t notice anything different at all like this—but listened anyway. He was having trouble walking as he made it close to the town.
“I feel like I'm gonna fall over,” he told her breathlessly. “I– I h-have to stop, I can't do this…” It was just as bad as before, but he was a little more used to it. Still, he could feel his breathing picking up. At least he wasn't frozen stiff while his body shook like a leaf. Yet.
“Stopping is gonna make it worse, trust me,” Spiracle told him without hesitation. “You just gotta keep going. Moving gives you something else to focus on. It'll even out eventually, trust me.”
“I don't know if I can do this.” Thornton's voice had a small quiver to it now. Was this girl really able to just move past it? How would she have been? His mind was completely infested already! It was a miracle he could even take another step.
Suddenly, his legs were falling out from under him, but something sickly green enveloped him and stopped Thornton from hitting the ground. A moment later, Spiracle was leaning his side into her shoulder so he could rest on her. There was also a small drop of emotion she let out, drip by drip, giving him some of his strength back. Enough to do just that but not send him over the edge into another panic attack.
“It's fine, I've got you,” she told him. “Yeah, I know, it sucks, but trust me when I say there's no better way than to get through it. Kind of like when you're caught in a warm summer rainstorm.”
She didn't need to finish the analogy for Thornton to get what she was saying. The trickle she sent out had just a smidge of that mixed in. He didn't think that putting his head underwater for the first time at a pool was quite the same as feeling like he was going to die from the emotions that hit him though.
But then again, he was handling it a bit better than last time. Better by what had to be the slimmest of margins, but still. He might have been on the edge of panic, but that was slightly better than sobbing after full on hyperventilating.
Spiracle didn't say much as he leaned on her and breathed. In fact, she was almost completely silent except for the small stream she continued to give to him. Even that though was relatively uncomplicated, the changeling at his side only sending strength with not one extra detail to it. He took it gratefully despite his overwhelmed senses.
He did all he could to only focus on her drip, and she communicated silently back when he started to. She released another drop in exactly four second intervals, each one exactly the same as the last. Slight courage mixed with persistence to keep his legs moving. She didn't ever glance at him while they walked—in fact, she looked everywhere but at him as he was led through town. There was one drop that had a message to be careful, another with annoyance for all the stares he was getting from the horses around him.
It's because I’m black they're looking at me like that, isn't it? he asked silently. I haven't ‘reformed’ or whatever? Somehow, he was able to send the message clearly and concisely in spite of his sluggish pace and rapid heart rate. Maybe it was because he didn't speak it?
Yup, he got back from her in simple response, followed by a drop of strength mixed with something else. A little bit of contempt with just a dash of slightly bland tasting disappointment. She was telling him the horses in this town were a little bit racist… err, xenophobic. Great.
I read in a book about ponies not liking changelings because of some invasion? Thornton started again. What happened with that?
This time the annoyance in the drop of strength—more accurately, slight impatience now—was directed at him. Got it. He would ask later.
Weird though that it was almost second nature now for him to talk to her in his head, despite not even knowing he could do that when he woke up this morning. Everything was so surreal. But talking to her kept his mind off his senses, so it helped. Whatever little bit he could get.
Spiracle was right; moving forward was better than standing in place. It would’ve been even better if all these creatures took their attention off of him. His breathing was still fast, and he even forgot that he had his eyes closed still when he tried to block out any extra information from his head. This was probably as good as it was gonna get.
“I’d suggest shapeshifting to look more like me,” Spiracle said out loud, “but like I said, it’s easier to deal with if you’re not also maintaining the form of the creature you took. Even if all these ponies are staring at you.” There was another drop of strength, this time with sympathy for him and annoyance for the creatures around them included. They really need to learn to mind their own business, seriously, she told him silently.
Yes, they did, he agreed, not even speaking in his head to her anymore. She could understand what he was thinking anyway, and right now, he wanted to only focus on her little drip that she sent out. This little drop every few seconds might have been worth almost as much as the kindness and non judgment Fluttershy sent his way when he saw her.
I wonder what it would be like if she sent a full wave to me, he thought, only to himself, making sure Spiracle couldn’t hear what he was thinking this time.
It still sucked walking through the town, but he was able to slowly work down from near panic. Remembering what Reece told him helped, too. This wasn’t dangerous. It only seemed scary. A little silly that he needed to reassure himself of that, but it did help.
As he leaned on Spiracle, the whole terrifying wave gradually became less so. The intensity of it all didn't let up, but Thornton might have been able to process it better, perhaps? He was able to single things out better—not that he wasn’t able before, but he was giving it more conscious thought now. The stronger emotions of slight fear about him and laughter about some foal’s school day and the sick feeling of not getting enough customers and the relaxation of the warm sunshine was all around him. He picked it out, one by one, the stronger emotions nearer to him easier to piece together than the ones far away.
Except for one thin stream that trailed in his direction. Spiracle noticed it, too, and tensed up slightly beside him. Even from what had to be he didn't know how far away, he could feel his older brother's intense anger. He was mad at something, and it was making the rest of his family—along with whoever else was there—nervous.
“I know that feeling,” Spiracle sighed. “The look on your face, I mean. It's hard to piece together what's going on from so far away. And you dealing with half of Ponyville looking at you doesn't help.”
“Yeah,” was all Thornton bothered to say. Everything sucked for everyone in his family, even if it was to varying degrees—and there was nothing to do but watch and wait to be given a solution. At least in the forest they weren't so useless, and helpless.
Well, at least if the house burns down, Spiracle told him silently, you can live at Princess Twilight’s castle again. It shouldn't have made Thornton smile, but a small one crept onto his face. It wasn't like they'd be any more helpless somewhere less intense.
What's it like? Spiracle asked a second later. Another moment later, the drip of emotion she sent to him gave him all the context he needed for the question.
I never thought about it before, he said, and actually wondered what it'd be like to be psychic. And now that I am, being normal is better. I hate having everyone else's thoughts in my head.
Another drop from her, and a small glimpse into her thoughts came with this one. Was she really that curious? Then again, if she did go to Earth, who here would be mad? Weren't all changelings except him technically brothers and sisters anyway? Thornton wondered what it would've been like to grow up in a hive.
“I'll tell you about it later,” she said. “Maybe you should try talking to that kirin though before he actually does burn down Ponyville for now. I'll teleport us there.”
Not another word was spoken before Spiracle lit up her horn and brought them to what would be Thornton's new home. At least it wasn't on fire. He kind of wished it was though.