City of Guilds
Chapter 4: Pleasure Makes Perfect
Pinkie Pie woke up on the floor of the Rakdos performance hall of the Sixth District. The floor wasn’t cleaned last night, and she thus awoke with her cheek resting in a pile of blood and milk; at least, she thought it was milk. All around her, other performers started to stir. She got up and prodded the demon next to her. “Smoky, get up.”
Smoky started to wake up, smacking his lips and standing up. “Morning, Pinks.”
The other performers all got up and started filing towards the local Rakdos Ringleader. The Ringleaders were the organizers of the Rakdos performances, at least as much as the Cult of Rakdos would allow organization. They paid the various performers after each show, scheduled the following shows, and did all the things the other members considered ‘boring.’ The performers crowded around the Ringleader as he passed out payment to them, all of them giving sideways glances and glares to Pinkie Pie.
Pinkie was used to it by now, though. Ever since she had joined the Cult of Rakdos, many of the other members didn’t trust her. She assumed that it had something to do with her coming from a land of peace and harmony. Coming from Equestria naturally made her comrades a bit nervous as to whether she actually believed in what she did or if it was all a ruse.
But Pinkie did really enjoy what she did for the cult. She constantly practiced the jokes and mannerisms of her Surprise act. Granted, she didn’t practice the killing aspect outside of the clubs, though others did. She felt it was stupid to kill outside the club; if you did so in the club then you were safe from Boros and Azorius jurisdiction.
Pinkie walked up to the Ringleader and received her payment of one thousand zinos. This made some of her fellow performers somewhat upset, as she was paid quite a bit more than them. “Thanks boss.” Pinkie accepted the money quietly and began walking off when Smoky stopped her.
“They’re just jealous of you Pinks, they know they couldn’t do half of what you do.” Smoky patted her on the back. “Just remember those of us who work for minimum wage ‘kay babe.” Pinkie rolled her eyes dramatically and gave one hundred zinos to her best friend. “You are the most generous, awesome, sexy, superb-” Pinkie put a hoof to his mouth.
“Don’t strain your limited vocabulary on little old me, Smoky, just go and have some fun before tonight.” She winked at him. “You do remember that we have another show in the third district near Skaarg today, right?” Smoky nodded dramatically and Pinkie patted him on the head. “Good, see you then.”
“Wait, where are you going?” asked Smoky.
“Shower, errands," Pinkie Pie listed off, "you know, daily stuff.”
“Alright, well let me know if you need someone to help you party hard with that delicious pile of cash you got there.” With that Smoky left, not seeing the drop in Pinkie’s step after the mention of the dreaded ‘P’ word.
“Yeah, sure.” Pinkie sighed and started to head for her apartment.
Pinkie Pie lived in the Undercity, not too unusual for a member of the Rakdos guild. However, whereas most of them either lived in small apartment complexes that Pinkie liked to call Sorority houses or in Rix-Maadi, Pinkie lived further away. Pinkie lived in an apartment owned and operated by guildless, the lowest class of Ravnican society. In exchange for her staying there, she offered a generous sum of rent that kept the building going.
Pinkie trudged through the Undercity heading towards her apartment when a human female stopped her. “Miss Surprise, please come quickly, come quickly please.” The woman screamed and screamed over for Pinkie to follow her, so Pinkie agreed and followed her to a sewer grate where a large scorpion was attacking a human boy. “That scorpion is going to kill my boy!” The woman kept screaming as Pinkie approached the scorpion, her Surprise makeup still on.
“Put up your claws, this is a ‘sting’ operation.” Pinkie rushed in and kicked the scorpion in the head, allowing the boy time to get away. The scorpion stumbled back and refocused its attention on Pinkie, “Hey, you’re armored, that’s ‘chitin’.” The scorpion brought its tail down repeatedly where Pinkie was as she dodged to the side and jumped on top of the scorpion. The scorpion brought its stinger down towards Pinkie. At the last moment she dodged out of the way, causing it to sting itself. Pinkie stood on her hind legs and shouted “FATALITY.”
The child clapped at Pinkie’s achievement as the mother hugged her child close to her. It was times like these that reminded Pinkie Pie of home, of Equestria. She shook her head as she wandered away towards her apartment. “I can’t go back there, I’m not meant for that.” Pinkie finally reached her apartment and walked inside where she was greeted by the landlord, a human named Callun.
“Pinkie!” Callun shouted happily.
“Callun!” Pinkie hugged the short brown-haired human and tossed a bag of zinos onto the table.
“Pinkie," Callun said softly, "that’s quite a lot of money.”
Pinkie Pie nodded. “I know.”
“So, why are you giving it to me?”
The party pony smiled. “Because you need it more than me.”
A group of children ran into the room and started to crowd around Pinkie Pie. “It’s Surprise!” “Surprise!” “Surprise!” “Surprise!” The children danced around Pinkie Pie before being stopped by Callun.
“Now children, stop attacking Miss Pie." Callun smiled and said, "Tell you all what, I’ll tell you all a story.”
“Oh boy, strap in folks, it’s Exposition Time!” Pinkie Pie grabbed a box of cookies from the nearby kitchen and sat down.
“Right. Well, this all began quite a while ago.” Callun sat down and propped a few of the kids up on his lap. “This story is about a monster known as Szadec.” The kids all gasped in unison. “Szadec was the ruler of the guild of shadow, the Dimir, who all allegedly lived in the tower known as Duskmantle right here in the undercity.”
“If they lived in a big tower, how come no one knew they existed?” one of the kids asked.
“Hush, boy. Anyway, Szadec had only one purpose, one purpose that he lived his entire life for.” He paused for effect. “The destruction of the Guildpact, the symbol of peace of all of Ravnica.”
“Why would he do that?” the children asked.
“Because the Guildpact was written to have a purpose for all of Ravnica, including someone who would try to destroy the Guildpact.” The children oohed and aahed at the revelation. “And eventually, despite the attempts by many of the other guilds, he succeeded.”
“That’s when the Dissension crisis happened right?” the children asked.
Pinkie Pie patted one of the little kids on the head. “Yep, and the Centurial celebration is in two weeks! The Dissension crisis was what fractured the guilds for a time as well. After they drew up a new, non-magical Guildpact, the guilds disbanded for a while, but Ravnica missed them.”
“Some of Ravnica,” Callun intoned. “As much as I love ya, Miss Pie, I really don’t enjoy having to bar these young kids inside whenever your guild comes to town.” Pinkie frowned a little. “But I ain’t judging, just saying.”
“Alright, well, I have to go and take a shower before I can go shopping. If you need anything from the market district, leave a shopping list or something on the counter and I’ll get it for you.” She kissed Callun on the cheek and bounced her way upstairs into her room.
Pinkie’s room was fairly simple. It was a small drab room in a small drab apartment. The walls were black, the floors were black, and the ceiling was black. She had a small bathroom to herself with a shower and toilet, but other than that her room wasn’t too different from any other room in the apartment. All she had in terms of furnishing was a small, one-person bed and a dresser. She tossed her bags onto her bed and stepped into the shower, turning the water on.
The chilly waters splashed Pinkie as she scrubbed her body-paint off. She scrubbed away the white paint and various other fluids with a repurposed human hairbrush. Pinkie’s thoughts began to turn to her old friends from Equestria. Despite how many times she reminded herself that she enjoyed working with the Rakdos more than she did baking cakes all day, she did miss her old life sometimes. Previously she woke up every day to a town of people who loved her. Now she woke up to a world that hates her and feared the people that she stuck around with.
“Stop thinking like that,” she told herself. “It’s not like you’re the only one that they don’t like.” She knew that was a flimsy excuse, but she didn’t care. Applejack was a Golgari, a scavenger; Ravnica hated them just as much as the Rakdos. Not that she hated Applejack. Applejack was one of the few who still accepted her; in fact, she actually attended one of Pinkie’s performances! Pinkie also knew that Twilight wasn’t exactly getting parades thrown for her in the streets. Twilight was a great scientist, but she was also rather explosive. Very few people were hurt during Twilight’s experiments, but that didn’t mean that they escaped unscathed. Many had tried to sue her for destroying their homes accidentally. Oftentimes she’d just pay the money and call it a day, something that gave her little love amongst the Boros and Azorius. And up until her death Scootaloo was feared; Scognor they called her, dragon’s heart.
“But none of them are murderers, not like me.” She splashed her face with the water to try and eradicate her bad thoughts. Trixie was an enforcer for the Orzhov. They may masquerade as a religion but are essentially Ravnica’s mafia. But again, she rarely outright killed. “Except for that time two chapters ago, but that’s kind of rare.” Rainbow Dash was probably the closest to her in terms of perception, but she wasn’t bothered by it. She didn’t care that people didn’t like her; she just did whatever Zegana wanted her to do. Pinkie liked to pretend that she didn’t care either, but that was a flat-out lie. She was still the element of laughter, at least in her mind; she wanted to be friends with everyone again. Sure she still made people smile, but not her friends.
‘No that’s not true, I have new friends that love me.’ Her thoughts drifted to Smoky, the one who had saved her. He was the one who got her on that stage and got her to… ‘Oops, you aren't supposed to know that yet.’ She finished her shower and took out her various paints. She started to repaint her fur with the white paint. The slick white paint covered her fur, allowing her to become Surprise. After allowing the paint to dry, she stepped out and grabbed her bags again. Once she was downstairs she saw that Callun was sitting at the kitchen table waiting for her, a sad look on his face.
“What’s the matter, Callun?" Pinkie asked with a chipper smile. "We’ve got to turn that frown upside down…”
“Pinkie, the Boros were just here.” Pinkie’s smile turned to a frown as Callun continued. “They were looking for you, and I didn’t tell them you were here, but…” He was clearly struggling. “Why would they be looking for you?”
“I… don’t know Callun.”
Callun slammed his fists onto the table. “You don't know!” He had never raised his voice at Pinkie like this before. “I’ve got guildless kids here, many of whom have to steal to live and aren’t protected by the laws of the guildpact. They will be killed in prison if they get sent there, and usually they aren’t because the Boros and the Azorius don’t come down to the undercity unless they are looking for someone important.”
“I haven’t done anything unusual, Callun!” He stopped yelling but his face still wore a look of fear and disgust. “I don’t know why they would be looking for me.”
Callun dipped his face into his hands. “Pinkie, some don’t feel safe around you, but I vouch for you because of the money you give to this house.” He stared back at Pinkie. “But I’m warning you, you put these kids in danger, and you’re out of here.”
Pinkie ran out of the house as fast as she could. She never wanted to hurt her friends but her guild-association made that more difficult by the day. No one really liked the Rakdos guild before, but recently there had just been one problem after another. ‘It’s all 'her' fault.’ Pinkie remembered the first time she met her, the massacre girl. She was well-known contract killer that had recently become the most wanted anything on Ravnica. Pinkie used to have the symbol of the Rakdos guild painted in red on her side, a tribute to the glorious demon who freed her. But once the massacre girl became public enemy number one, anyone with a Rakdos symbol was attacked in the streets, refused service in the markets, or just dragged into Azorius court for ‘possibly being an accomplice to the massacre girl’ so she had to remove it.
Pinkie shook her head, silently walked out of the undercity, and went to the markets. Pinkie always enjoyed going to the markets on Ravnica. People always claimed that they weren’t biased against certain guilds, but it was only in Tin City where that was remotely true. Pinkie looked over her shopping list, making a mental note to get something to cheer Callun up.
“Miss Pie, do my eyes deceive me?” called a voice to Pinkie’s right.
“No, your eyes do not lie,” Pinkie responded in a faux-aristocratic tone. The one who called her was human named Joson, a former Rakdos. Joson had been born into the Rakdos guild but left a few years prior to become a shopkeeper, and surprisingly he succeeded. “So what’s fresh?” Pinkie looked carnivorously at the assortment of vegetables laid out before her. Carrots, apples, and pre-made salads adorned the shop table.
“Well as you know…” Joson said, taking on a businessman tone. “That all of our products are one-hundred percent brand-new and fresh. Farmed with only the most modern techniques in order to preserve flavor.” He took a small bow as Pinkie clapped. “But in all seriousness, the apples today are pretty good.”
“I’ll take five apples then,” Pinkie said, handing some zinos to Joson. “Heard anything interesting through the grapevine, Joson?”
Joson’s expression dropped slightly. “Well, a few days ago they found the body of somepony in the Promenade.” Pinkie’s expression hardened. “Though no one thinks that it’s the massacre girl, in fact the Rakdos aren’t under any suspicion at all.”
Now Pinkie thought that was just plain weird. Being a member of the Rakdos, she was used to people accusing them of murder. It was as daily an occurrence to her and her fellow guild members as waking up in the morning. “Then who do they think did it?”
Joson swung his head from side to side, checking for eavesdroppers. “The Dimir.”
Pinkie snorted. “Who’s the accomplice then, Santa?” Joson raised an eyebrow and sighed. “What? You really expected me to take that seriously?” He nodded. “Come on, I mean I know that I belong to a guild that worships a demon that hasn’t been seen or heard from in hundreds of years but that doesn’t make me gullible.” She waved as she turned to leave. “Thanks for the apples.”
“Wait,” Joson said, grabbing Pinkie by the shoulder. “I know that you and Scognor were friends, you taking it okay?” He felt Pinkie’s shoulder tense up. “You have any ideas?” She shook her head. “Okay. Tell you what, when and where’s your performance tonight?”
“You’ll come?” the pony asked tentatively.
“Yeah," Joson responded, "you look like you could use company.”
“Third District Theater, at seven,” Pinkie Pie said enthusiastically.
“Okay, you’ll see me there," the human said softly. "I promise.”
Pinkie walked away quickly to finish her shopping. She didn’t know anything about Scognor’s death, but she knew more than most about her... because Scognor, Scootaloo, had been one of her only friends on Ravnica.
Scootaloo was more excited than she had been in her whole life. After weeks of pleading, Borborygmos agreed to let her go into town to a Rakdos performance. It wasn’t like she was interested in the kind of weird stuff that the Rakdos enjoyed, just that she wanted good fight practice. She had been fighting Gruul in sparring matches for the past few months. But even with all that she didn’t see herself as ready, not for what she wanted. Scootaloo’s target was much more powerful than the average Gruul pit-fighter. ‘I idolized her for a reason,’ she thought.
She walked into the Rakdos Theater and took a deep breath. The smell of smoke and sweat assaulted her. ‘The smell of a true warrior’s den,’ she thought, ‘I knew it was a good idea to come here.’ Once inside her eyes were drawn to the middle of the theater, which had been converted into an impromptu slightly raised fighting ring. The rest of the Theater was fairly standard for the Rakdos: it was dark, covered in black and red banners, and smelled like it hadn’t been cleaned in years. In the center was a human of above-average size and stature. His muscles bulged and his veins seemed to protrude from his arms. He was clothed in ratty rags sloshed with blood. And upon his head was a simple stone helmet, with only holes for his eyes. At any other time Scootaloo would have loved to fight a man like him. He was bigger, brutal... everything that made a good opponent. But at the time a pony, much like her, was besting him.
The pony in the center was covered in white paint with the symbol of the Rakdos painted on her side in red. Her mane was a bright pink and looked almost like balloons. “Pinkie Pie?” Scootaloo couldn’t believe what she was seeing. Pinkie Pie, a baker, was beating up what looked to most people like a slab of meat that gained sentience. The brute swung his massive fists down at the pink pony. With a small movement she managed to dodge his strike and jump on his back. This prompted the huge human to snap himself back to an upright position. Pinkie simply landed on the ground and in one motion kicked both of her hind legs squarely into his lower back. A sickening crack rang out and a muffled cry came from the man before he collapsed to the ground.
“K.O.,” Pinkie screamed. The whole of the Theater screamed with her. A few smaller human men walked into the ring to retrieve their fallen comrade. “Thank you, thank you, here till Thursday… you know, actually, I’m here quite a bit longer than that.” Scootaloo rolled her eyes. Pinkie had always been quite a bit random.
“Come one, come all,” called an arena attendant. A few humans walked into the ring and all around them betting commenced. Pinkie jumped off the ring and Scootaloo approached her.
“Amazing, you might even be cooler than Rainbow at this point Pinkie.” Pinkie turned around an inhaled sharply when she saw Scootaloo. She grabbed Scootaloo in a big bear hug. “Hey, come on now.”
“Scootaloo? No way!" Pinkie shouted. "How are you doing, cause I'm doing great! Oh I hope you're doing okay! You know when I saw you I thought ‘This can't be Scootaloo she's too big but…’” Scootaloo put a hoof in Pinkie’s mouth before she could continue her incredibly loud rant. “Sorry.”
She thought to what Pinkie said, and quickly inspected herself. It was true that she had grown a bit since coming to Ravnica; she was probably the size of a teenager at this point. And she was quite muscular for her age for her species. The orange filly returned the hug. “It’s no problem.” She lightly punched Pinkie’s shoulder. “Besides we ‘bad folk’ should stick together.” Pinkie gave a sad little smile and returned the friendly shoulder tap.
“Yeah, we should.” Scootaloo noticed the sad look in Pinkie’s eyes as she said this. Scootaloo had always been more of a loner before she met the Crusaders. She didn’t have trouble changing herself to fit Ravnica and the Gruul. But Pinkie had always been the center of attention, the life of the party. For her to be ridiculed by the entire plane as a member of the Rakdos, it must kill her on the inside. “So, what brings you here?”
Scootaloo made a mental note that not giving her the ‘kids shouldn’t be here’ speech had given Pinkie extra cool points. “I’m here to challenge the best warrior here to a battle.” She puffed her chest out and gritted her teeth. “As the daughter to Borborygmos, I want to better myself through battle.”
“Oh…” She gave a theatrical gasp. “So you’re a princess then.” Scootaloo’s face blanched. She looked as though she would throw up. “Just kidding.” Pinkie burst out laughing, and Scootaloo joined in. “Though, really, you’re here to fight the best of the best in this ring?”
Scootaloo nodded her head. “I have an opponent in mind, but I’m not on her level yet. Actually, after seeing that fight I kinda want to fight you now.” Scootaloo asked her next question pensively, “So how’d you get in with the Rakdos?”
Scootaloo had expected Pinkie’s face to fall. For there to be some sad story behind it all. But Pinkie kept smiling and sat down. “Well I guess you could say that I just belonged here, even before I came to Ravnica.” Scootaloo sat next to her; she knew better than anypony how it felt to feel like you don’t belong, like you aren’t wanted. Pinkie draped her arm over Scootaloo’s shoulder. “But if you want to fight me, the rules are that you have to beat someone else first.”
“Aw come on, can’t you make an exception just once?” Pinkie shook her head. “Hah, fine, I’ll enter the next bout. I’ll kick ass and then I want to fight you.” She said pointing her hoof at Pinkie. Pinkie returned the pose by standing on her hind legs with her front hooves in front of her in a boxing position. The previous bout ended and the losers were dragged away. Scootaloo jumped into the ring eagerly. Humans quickly filled three other spots and they, while not as beefy as the one Pinkie beat, were certainly tough looking.
All around her, people murmured about the pony that had just entered the ring. One of the Rakdos goblins walked up to each of the contestants in turn and asked for their names. The goblin came to Scootaloo last. “What is your name and affiliation?”
Scootaloo didn’t hesitate to answer, “Scognor, of the Gruul.” The match began and two of the humans dove for her. Scootaloo rolled to the side out of the way of the first man’s attack, causing him to slam into the other one. Scootaloo attacked the first guy by slamming her fore hooves on the man’s head. His friend collapses on the ground and tried to back away. He backed into the only other competitor left in the ring besides him and Scootaloo, who knocked him out. The last human turned to try and fight Scootaloo, only to find she dove under him. She bucked him hard in the chest, sending him back out of the ring.
“We have a winner! Scognor of the Gruul guild!” The Theater erupted in uproarious applause. Scootaloo drank in their praise and admiration. Pinkie Pie stepped quietly into the arena, a long chain wrapped around her body. The chain ended in a hook that Pinkie held in her mouth, with the other end wrapped in a loop around her back left hoof. Pinkie’s entrance silenced the Theater.
“Bravi! Bravi! But now you must face me…” Pinkie paused, “the Spiker, Surprise!” The crowd once again erupted in applause. Scootaloo dug her hooves into the ring, and made sure to keep her eyes on Pinkie Pie. Scootaloo had heard of Rakdos Spikers, she knew that they were warriors from each ‘ring’ of the guild. Beyond that she knew that they were very, very dangerous. “Would you like a weapon, Scognor?”
Scootaloo shook her head, “The only weapon a Gruul needs is their own body.” The goblin went around collecting bets from the audience. Scootaloo was proud enough to hear some of the Rakdos guild members actually betting on her. “So Pinkie, are you ready to face the daughter of Borborygmos?” Scootaloo was starting to get the hang of this whole playing to the crowd thing.
Pinkie put a hoof to her chin in a sign of mock thought. “I think the question here, Scognor, is whether you should be fighting a Spiker without a weapon.” The crowd’s murmurs confirmed that maybe Scootaloo should’ve taken Pinkie up on her offer.
“Well, I think that you should know what Scognor really means.” The crowd seemed confused. Scootaloo held her head up high. “Dragon’s heart, it is a name only given to those with the courage of a dragon, and a dragon does not need a blade to win a fight.” Pinkie nodded and readied herself by spreading her legs out and letting the hook in her mouth fall closer to the ground, leaving only part of the chain in her mouth.
The goblin that had been taking bets walked up to the side of the arena. “And now we have Surprise vs. Scognor, begin!”
Pinkie Pie made the first move, swinging her small chain around and around before tossing the hook towards Scootaloo. Scootaloo dodged the hook; rolling to the side, she flung herself forward at Pinkie. Pinkie kicked her back left hoof, causing the chain to retract back to her. She caught the hook back in her mouth and sidestepped Scootaloo’s assault. Scootaloo stumbled as she tried to turn and face Pinkie. Once she turned, she took the blunt edge of the chain to her face, knocking her back a bit. Noticing her chance, she dove for Pinkie again, tackling her. Pinkie, not having enough time to retract her spike, reeled back from Scootaloo’s frontal assault. The two locked hooves. They pushed back and forth until Scootaloo got the upper hoof and pushed Pinkie Pie to the ground.
Pinkie used her non-chained hoof to kick Scootaloo’s midsection as she went down causing her to stumble. She rolled away from Scootaloo and propped herself back up. Scootaloo was already prepared, though, and started to rush at Pinkie. The two dodged and danced around one another, Pinkie trying to retract the spike, and Scootaloo making sure that she couldn’t. The two kept fighting without noticing that Borborygmos had entered the theater as well.
Scootaloo kept at Pinkie, Making sure never to give her even a moment’s reprieve. After making a lunge at Pinkie, Scootaloo noticed an opening and went in for another attack. Pinkie simply smiled and slid underneath Scootaloo. Pinkie thrust herself upwards, knocking Scootaloo off balance. Pinkie used this momentum to retract her spike and thrust it near Scootaloo’s throat.
“The match is over, Surprise is the winner!”
The crowd’s screams and cheers echoed through the theater. Scootaloo slinked off of the arena and into the crowd, where her surrogate father stood waiting. Borborygmos was one of the largest Cyclopses on the plane of Ravnica. He stood nearly 8 feet tall, even taller if you counted the large horns that protruded from his head. He clothed himself in various types of animal skins, almost all of which were red, so as to match his one big eye. The crowd’s screams and cheers stopped as Scootaloo and Borborygmos faced each other. “Hi, dad,” Scootaloo squeaked.
“Scootaloo’s dad, did you see how good she did, I mean seriously she almost had me there for a second, man that was awesome.” Pinkie Pie had somehow appeared between Scootaloo, and her adoptive father and started ranting. Scootaloo wanted anything just for Pinkie Pie to shut up. She knew that Borborygmos didn’t take second place very well.
“I did,” he spoke with a booming voice. Even though he was still speaking in what Borborygmos considered an inside voice, it still bellowed through the theater. “And I was impressed to a certain extent.” Scootaloo looked at her dad with a sad expression. “I didn’t let you go to this theater as some kind an endorsement of your ‘quest.’” He paused as Scootaloo hung her head in shame. Her father expected her to fail. “I was well acquainted with Pinkie Pie’s abilities, and I knew that if anyone could make you realize that you aren’t ready to fight Rainbow Dash, it would be her.”
“I guess,” Scootaloo muttered.
“So from now on you will be allowed to come to this theater whenever Pinkie Pie is in the area and she’ll help you train.” Scootaloo’s eyes widened. “I know that I cannot stop you from trying to kill Rainbow Dash, but I can help you train yourself so that you’ll be the winner of that fight.” Scootaloo started to tears up as she ran up and hugged her adoptive father.
“Thanks dad, I will win, I’m going to show her and everyone else, no one messes with the Gruul.”
Pinkie stopped reminiscing as she came to the same Rakdos Theater that she had trained Scootaloo in, the Third District Theater. Her memories both saddened and comforted her. It was horrible that Scootaloo was gone now, but at the same time Pinkie loved the time that the two had spent together. Pinkie walked inside the Theater not expecting any surprises. She certainly wasn’t expecting to see Shining Armor, Twilight Sparkle, and Trixie hanging around with Joson. “Joson?”
“I’m sorry," the human apologized quickly, "but they said that they just want to talk.”
“And that’s exactly what we want,” Shining answered. “So let’s just cut to the chase, Pinkie Pie…”
“Surprise,” she responded indignantly.
“Fine, Surprise, we need your help.” Shining's words caused Pinkie’s expression to harden. “Borborygmos is causing a lot of trouble, destroying a lot of property in the search for Scootaloo’s killer.”
“If you’re asking me to sell out a friend then you can just leave now Shining, because I won’t,” Pinkie responded.
“We just need to keep him locked up for a little while so we can explore some leads in the case without distractions,” Shining commented.
“Oh yeah, the Dimir, yeah you guys are so close that if you just locked him up you could solve the case in a few days, tops!” Pinkie said in a sarcastic tone.
“Trixie said that she wouldn’t cooperate,” Trixie remarked.
“You expect me to care when all you guys have is the Dimir?” Pinkie shouted. “Seriously, how stupid do you really think that I am?” Just as she finished that statement Pinkie was hit with a combo. Her body erupted in spasms and flutters of seemingly random activity. As it subsided Pinkie recognized the combo. ‘They might be onto something, that shouldn’t be possible.’ She straightened herself out. “Okay, let’s say that I did want to help, what exactly would your plan be?”
Twilight stepped up. “The plan is for you to hold a performance here in a few days. Shining and Trixie will be waiting to capture Borborygmos and take him in. We do promise that nothing will happen to him, in fact we actually want his cooperation.”
“Why not just ask then?” Pinkie asked indignantly.
“Trixie is insulted that you think that we did not think of that already,” Trixie responded, "Borborygmos has repeatedly killed the messenger of peace and sent back a message saying that he refuses talks of any kind.”
Pinkie didn’t think that they were lying. In the time that she had known Borborygmos, she did know that he was prone to fits of a complete lack of logic. “Well then what’s in it for me? I’m betraying a good friend of mine; I expect that you’ll make it worth my while?”
Shining stepped forward first. “The Boros can offer you complete immunity and a hefty sum of two thousand zinos in bounty money in return for your aid.”
“Hmm, nah,” Pinkie responded. “I make more money than that for just performing.”
Trixie stepped up next. “The Orzhov and Trixie can offer you several Orzhov contracts; they are eldritch in nature so you would be able to acquire new victims quite easily.”
“Close but no cigar, Lotus Nectar does that just fine.”
Trixie grumbled something unintelligible as she stepped back and Twilight stepped up. Pinkie jumped up and gave Twilight a kiss on the cheek. ‘You know, fan service!’ She whispered into Twilight’s ear, “Get Celestia to let me stay on Ravnica. You do that and one other thing for me and I’ll help.”
Twilight stumbled back as Shining rushed forwards. “What exactly is this ‘other thing’ that you’re talking about?”
“Simple, there’s this apartment complex in the undercity, I think you know it since I live there and all.” The group nodded as Pinkie continued. “Anyway, just keep your Boros minions away from it and give limited immunity to its patrons and you’ve got yourself a deal.”
Shining didn’t even flinch. “You’ve got a deal, Surprise. When can we expect this performance?”
“Alright, you get me a response from Celestia guaranteeing me the ability to stay here, with no problems, and I’ll be able to set it up a few days after that.”
“Alright, we’ll contact you again when we have our confirmation. Should I expect that we can get in touch with you at your place of residence now?” Pinkie nodded in response. “Good, then I’ll be in touch.” Shining turned to leave, with the two girls following him.
Normally Pinkie Pie would have just headed to the backstage and started setting up, but something tugged at her. She walked over to where Shining and Trixie were talking and, hiding behind a nearby pew, began listening in.
“Trixie cannot believe that you still refuse to give Trixie her Scry Tome!” yelled Trixie.
‘Scry Tome?’ thought Pinkie Pie.
“Trixie, I promise that once we have Borborygmos in custody we will hand over the Scry Tome,” Shining responded. With that Trixie started to walk away in a huff, prompting Pinkie to follow her.
Pinkie followed Trixie by hiding behind nearby trash cans and whatnot as Trixie angrily stomped into a nearby alleyway. ‘What does she want here?’ Pinkie slid herself as close as she could. Trixie’s horn glowed as a ghostly apparition of an imp shimmered into being in front of her.
“What’re ya calling me for?” the imp yelled.
“Trixie of the Orzhov calls you for information regarding Agyrem.” The imp motioned for Trixie to continue. “Trixie requires more knowledge regarding the possibility of Szadec returning from Agyrem.”
‘Again with the Dimir, do they really think that he could come back from the dead?’ Pinkie pondered.
“Well ya should already know about the Scry Tome.” Trixie nodded. “Then ya should know that it’s possible for him to come back, ah’m assuming that’s what scares Teysa?” Trixie nodded again. “That Scry Tome can contain the magic of any soul contained within, it’s powerful stuff.”
Pinkie’s head snapped to attention. ‘Any soul, all their magic?’ Pinkie ran back towards the Theater and rushed inside to the backstage where Smoky was waiting.
“Heya Pinks, what’s the matter, what ya running for?” Smoky asked. Pinkie was starting to wonder if all devils and imps talked like that.
“Smoky, I have a question.” He nodded. “Do you know where they keep Lyzolda, the former guild parun?” Smoky’s eyes widened. “There’s a spell I want to try.”