I supose its time for me to begin the story, so feel free to dim the lights and shut your faces, because now we arrive at the chapter of all the chapters. Oh yes children, its the horrible, the terrifying, the absolutely cherry poppingest chapter of them all! So clench your butt cheeks, this one is going to be a doozy. It's...
Chapter 4
Please do forgive me for the last chapter. I'm afraid that I was under the influence of some exotic plants found in zebra lands. Skooma I think they called it. But hey, your Princess is back to normal, or as normal as I can get. Let's turn the book to the place before all the weirdness. Shall we? We shall!
Killian woke up the next morning feeling refreshed, and quite hungry. As Killian went to leave the guest room, he found that Spike was asleep outside the door. Seeing no other way to get to the kitchen, Killian decided to climb out of the window. Whilst he was climbing down, Killian lost his footing and began to fall... to his death! But what's this? A flying tree? Why by golly, it's Fluttershy! Fluttershy quick as a whistle caught the falling Killian in her arms. However, because of Newton's Law of Physics, Fluttershy's arms broke in two from the sheer weight of Killian's gelatinous body. Oooh, big words, how exciting. Anypoo, OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS, FLUTTERSHY'S ARMS!!!
Killian quickly hurried to fluttershy's aid.
"Hey, you ok?" Killian asked with concern.
"Oh I'm sure I'll be alright." Fluttershy replied.
"I don't think your legs are supposed to bend like that." Killian asserted.
"Hey! Go get some help!" Killian said, pointing to a colt with a pi symbol and headphones for a cutie mark. Killian picked up Fluttershy and carried her into Twilight's house.
"What did you do!?" Twilight asked Killian angrily.
"Well, I went to go to the kitchen, and your pet dragon was in front of the door, so I went to climb out of the window, and..."
"Did you try to move Spike out of the way? He is a Baby dragon, he should only weigh like ten pounds." Twilight said whilst examining Fluttershy's fore hooves.
"Well there's nothing I can do here, but I do know someone who has the equipment to help." Twilight finished.
"Killian, you'll have to carry Fluttershy on your back. This isn't going to be a little short of a stroll of a walk."
Uh oh, looks like Killian is in for some exercise. Well I guess that's one way to lose that muffin top.
As Killian and Twilight were walking, Killian bumped into a random unicorn buck hiding in the bushes.
"Oh hey Twilight, what are you doing? And who's your new friend?" the seemingly random buck asked.
"Taking Fluttershy to go see Joey. Killian here thought he was a flying squirrel and jumped out of my window looking for nuts. Fluttershy's attempt to stop his imminent fall proved to be futile."
"Oh, and he is not my friend. He is my prisoner." Twilight said matter of factly
"Woah bitch! If I wanted to run, I could!" Killian shouted.
"Then run. And we'll see how far you get." Twilight challenged. And Killian was all like being a pussy and not saying "Challenge accepted." Instead he thought to himself "Aint nobody got time for that!" like the true independent black woman he wishes he could become.
"Well gee Twilight, I'd be happy to take him off your hooves." the random unicorn buck said all creepy like. Killian couldn't shake the feeling that the unicorn buck was staring at him. Staring right into his very soul, maybe even beyond that! Who knows, I certainly don't. As Killian looked the buck over, Killian couldn't help but divert his eyes right to the buck's flank: he had an upside down smiley face for a cutie mark.
"No I'll be quite fine. I need him to help me carry Fluttershy. So um... Bye now!" Twilight replied hurriedly.
"Oh ok, bye Killian, bye Twilight." the buck said whilst receding back into the dark hole of an abyss that is my mother's heart. But let us not tarry with my family troubles, the show must go on!
As The trio (Fluttershy is there too) came up to a hill, Killian noticed the darndest Thing: A house made entirely out of empty soda cans. I guess you could call it a "Coke house." now what kind of horrible, deformed, abomination of a pony may live in this house you ask? Well children, maybe if you shut your flappy things, I might just get to that part.
Twilight went to knock on the "door," if a piece of cardboard could be called that. There was no answer. The trio began to walk past the "door". Inside there were dirty dishes littering the floor. Oh how dark and scary it was inside. Killian, taking the front, heard a rustle nearby. All of a sudden, a Pegasus buck came charging right toward him:
"MENENNNDEZZ!!!"
"Wha!?"
Then the Pegasus yelled "TAE KWON DO!!" and bucked Killian right in the nuts. Bucked him so hard in fact, that Killian began to cough up blood.
"Celestia, Joey! He's still carrying Fluttershy!" Twilight screamed.
"You don't care about me at all, do you?" said Killian, whilst coughing up more blood.
"What do you want Twilight?" Joey asked.
"The kid that will never have kids again decided to use my window to practice skydiving, and landed right on top of Fluttershy. We came here hoping you could help." Twilight answered.
"pffft. Ain't nobody got time for that!" Joey replied.
"But I'll do it as your friend."
Joey set to work gathering supplies. As he was doing this, Killian eventually regained the willpower to stand, if barely.
"Auto-Docs all ready for ya!" Joey said whilst helping Fluttershy into the machine.
While the machine was fixing Fluttershy, Joey walked up to the barely standing Killian. Leaned in nice and close, almost looks like they're about to kiss. Then Joey leaned toward Killian's ear and whispered:
"Your Responsible..."
Super glue your butt to your seat and don't take a poop for the next 24 hours, for next time is the possible( not really) finale of Killian's Misadventures in Equestria with Princess Molestia.