Your Human and You: You are not food, my friend

by Feral Pony


Making friends on short notice

“I`m telling you they are not the kind of people you should hang out with!”

“Victor! You are not going to boss me around. If I want to hang out with my friends then I am going to hang out with them, and it`s not your call to make.”

“Katinka! Have you even seen what they are like? They dislike me because I don`t support their use of drugs, especially when you are around. Not to mention the drink like hobos and drive like maniacs!”

“OH! You dislike their use of drugs. Have you seen yourself at the parties we have been too?!”

“Yes and I do it ONLY on parties, and in small doses unlike the guys you hang out with. They do it in their spare time!”

“You are a hypocrite Victor. Oh I am Victor and I can do drugs but those other guys can`t cause hurr du durr! What kind of fucking logic is that?!” She screamed at me while imitating me. She was right to some extent

She was about to leave but not before she heard my last plead.

*sigh* “Katinka. Please. They are just going to be trouble in the long run. I`m telling you, you don`t want to hang out with them fucking nig…”

She stopped dead in her tracks. I knew that I just royally fucked up with my bad choice of words. Fucking parents, raising me in a racist home! FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FU…!

“Finish that sentence Victor. NOW!” She yelled, her voice trembling slightly.

I opened my mouth to answer but nothing came out. I knew what I had just done and that this would be the end of everything between me and her. I felt my eyes wetting slightly, but I fought back the tears not wanting to break down in front of her. I could however see that Katinka was hurt from what I had said, her eyes were reddening and her lower lip quivered.

“WELL!” She screamed. Then silence. I tried to say something, but nothing would come out! I just wanted to dig a hole in the ground and disappear forever, never having to face the fury of Katinka. But there was no escaping this. I had to face my mistakes, even if it would only end in despair.

Finally I managed a word. “Sorry.” I whispered. I closed my eyes in shame, I knew deep down that, that wasn`t going to cut it if anything between me and her was going to keep going. I heard Katinka began to sob. I closed in on her trying to embrace her in a comforting hug but she backed away and stopped sobbing while glared daggers at me. Then she whispered “Fuck you.” And she left through the front door. When the door slammed, it was like a shockwave spread through the room and everything tore apart around me, leaving me in an empty abyss where I would forever be alone.
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I opened my eyes slowly. I felt the cold night breeze stroke over my upper body. I was outside in the garden where Elpis had left me after my own request. She had left me a blanket so I could keep warm during the night. She told me during our Q&A session that winter was coming soon, and I was going to have to stay inside when it came. But she offered me to stay outside until then which I gladly accepted. Apparently the griffin seasons and the Norwegian ones were quiet similar, about four months of summer, the rest was winter. So no major changes there.

Elpis had been curious about me as a person, rather than my origin or where I came from. But when she told me our session was over she still looked like she had a lot of questions, and I suspected she was going to ask more around that topic the next time we met. She was going to try and keep me as close to her as possible for my time staying here since my broken rib was still healing. Not to mention if Alpha got released while I was present, the sheer though of what he would do to me made me shudder in fear. I honestly am pretty scared of him, and the griffins. Hell I am even scared of Elpis, she is in control of what happens to me, not me. I don`t have much say in any matter, even though Elpis knows I am smart, but she still isn`t sure about me yet.

I stood up from my position and stretched as much as my heavily damaged body allowed me to. I walked over to the small river cutting through the garden and looked at myself for the first time in maybe a week or so. I was growing a weak stubble on my face and I could see wounds in my face. I had a swollen cheek and a cut cutting above my nose bridge. “One knee to the face can do miracles.” I thought, chuckling slightly. I noticed my hair which used to have grease keeping it in place, but without it to hold the hair in place it was just getting obnoxious of my vision. I cupped some water in my hands and splashed it in my face, hoping it would work some magic to take away the negative thoughts I was currently having about Katinka, but all the water did was really just irritating my wounds and making my face wet. “I hate her for what she did. But… can I still love her? No, she is lost. You won`t see her again.” I convinced myself. I was after all stuck in a magical land full of talking griffins. I sighed and left the small river and went back to my tree to catch some shuteye before continuing my Q&A with Elpis that was going to start tomorrow.

===============
“Who was you owner?”

+ Owner? + I asked curious. Nobody owned me. I was an independent being, or I was supposed to be anyway. I don`t know anymore. I am just so confused and lost honestly. I’m hoping these sessions with Elpis will help me.

“Yeah you know, you pony owner. I mean considering you came into the facility through a magic portal, surely it was a unicorn who owned you since no other griffin or pony can perform magic such as that.” She stated like what she was saying was a fact. But no Unicorn owned me. I just fell through a random portal on my way home from school.

Elpis looked at me expectantly.

+ No. You got it wrong Elpis. I don`t think… Can you get me a map? + I asked. I don`t know what I was hoping for, but maybe if Elpis can explain some more on these unicorns, then maybe and just maybe I can get back home somehow.

“Yeah, sure.” She stood up and told me to not move while she went and got a map. She returned with an atlas in her claw and walked over to my side where she opened the book and pointed at where we were located in the griffin empire.

“This is the city we are at” She said, pointing at city with a white palace as a representing picture. The city I was in was apparently named the “griffin empire”.

+ Bigger map. + I requested. I needed more than just the area close to the city.

She presented me with the map of the entire Griffin kingdom and pointed at the city we were in. We were located in the middle of the griffin kingdom where it looked like it was a distance to walk to the other countries.

+ Is there a world map? + I asked. I wanted to see more. Needed to see more. Maybe this was just some undiscovered land in the pacific ocean? I silently hoped.

She turned the page to where it showed the world map. I wasn`t seeing America, Europe, Africa or anything familiar actually. I could feel queasiness begin to start up. I knew all along I wasn`t at my own planet, but seeing hard proof was rather… eye opening for lack of better term. My gaze left the map and I looked down at the floor.

Elpis noticed my change of behavior and tried to ask me what was wrong.

“What`s wrong?” I looked up and met her eyes. After thinking over whether I should bother her with my newfound depression or not I finally shook my head and gave her a fake smile covering up any trace anything was wrong.

+ Nothing is wrong. I just wanted to see the world. + I lied.

But she saw through my lie and said “You’re not from around here are you?” I shook my head and lifted my shoulders up. It wasn`t much of an answer but she got curious.

“How`s your world like?” She asked with an eager expression. “Here we go.Q&A about my world, yippi.”

====================


“So you are telling me you sun is the center and you planet is just spinning around it by it`s huge gravitational field?” Elpis asked with a sceptic look.

+ Yes. +

“Whatever you say Victor. But here on this world, it is Princess Celestia who moves the sun, and Princess Luna who moves the moon. So either we have come to a clash in realities or it could be YOU are just wrong and there IS someone moving the sun and the moon for you.”

I looked at her with my best, “ARE YOU FUCKIGN SERIOUS” look I could. How could she believe that some pretty pony princess moves the huge ass sun that has the power of thousands of nuclear factories, not to mention it`s ridiculously huge in size! Yeah I’m the one in the wrong here.

+ The sun has a huge gravitational field that… Never mind. I’m not going to bother since you are holy convinced that a pony princess move the sun, so I’m not going to bother. All praise queen sunbutt!
Off topic question. Elpis, when are you going to help me get back home? I know it hasn`t even been a full 24 hours since we first talked, and I am sure you have questions, but I need to get back home to my family and friends. +

Elpis sighed and looked up to me with a sad expression. “I… I don`t think I can help you Victor. I can’t perform magic like unicorns can and without any understanding of how you got here there is very little I can research on. That is without mentioning that we don`t even know where you home is in the solar system, or in the dimensions for that matter. I just don`t… I don`t think I can help you.”

There was a lot of regret in the voice. I couldn`t blame her, or the griffins since it`s like she said. They can`t perform magic. But then an idea struck me like lightning.

+ What about the pony princess? +

“Victor. NO!” Elpis said with an authority voice I never thought she would use.

+ What? If she is as powerful as you say then she should have no trouble sending me back home right! +

“We won`t ask for her help. Griffins never ask of help, especially from ponies.”

Was the griffin culture and pride the thing that was going to keep me stuck on this planet for who know how long. Fuck me AND the griffins! No better yet. Fuck the world! Screw Elpis. I was going home whether she liked it or not!

+ Then I am leaving by myself to meet her. You don`t need to come along, or any griffins for that matter. I will just be a stray human who escaped until I find her. +

“You won`t leave. You can`t, you need my help and you know it.”

Did she dare… She is threating me with my freedom?! I knew I couldn`t trust her! The gall this girl has!

+ I am leaving Elpis. Period. Even if I have to fight my way out. I`d sooner be killed trying to escape than being cut up into careful pieces of meat that rich griffins can eat later on! +

“It`s not that I don`t want you to leave. It`s just not so easy, look at it this way; the trip to Canterlot would be suicide for a human like you in Griffin territory mainly from the griffin hunters. Even if you should somehow manage to escape griffin territory you would have to cross here.”

She pointed down on the map. I looked at the map over the griffin empire, and saw the distance between the griffin kingdom to Canterlot which was located in a country called Equestria. The journey was far from short and the desert country, Saddle Arabia was a huge path blocker since I would die from thirst should I even come that far. The desert is what Elpis pointed at. I hate my life sometimes.

+ Fine you win. But staying here is suicide for me as well since you griffins eat humans like me! +

Elpis immediately went from bossy to sheepish. “Ye… yes, well, you see human meat is… umm… it tastes…”

I practically shoved the piece of paper into her beak. + I don`t want to hear a word Elpis. Not a single word about how good human meat tastes. Just give me a ticket out of this facility that is safe, and you will forever be good in my book. +

“Okay. But I don`t know how you owner`s will be like since griffins only buy humans to gain status.”

+ Status gain? + I asked with my least amused face put on.

“Yes you see, humans are actually primarily food here in the Griffin Empire as have probarly figured out yourself. But griffins have thinks that affording to keep a human alive and healthy is a sign of wealth and some other wealthy nonsense status things. Point is even tough you might get to be alive, you won`t necessarily thrive with you owners. You get what I`m saying?”

I was about to reply with a question to elaborate, but I threw the quill and paper away when I heard the doorknob turn. The door opened and in came Agathon and the Boss as well as… Alpha.

Alpha immediately noticed my presence and bared his teeth at me while looking at me with pure hatred and rage. I hadn`t seen him after our fight, but he looked beat up. His eye was swollen and he had what looked to be a broken nose. I said it once and I’ll say it again, a knee to the face can do miracles.

The griffins in the room noticed his sudden change of behavior but ignored it as it was nothing of immediate danger.

“Doctor Elpis it`s good to see you doing well today.” The Boss said to Elpis. “Nice to meet you too Leon.” Elpis replied with a bit darker voice than when she and I talked.

On side note I finally got a name for the Boss!

“Yes. This is the Alpha whom was in a fight yesterday. It seems his damages were more severe than we though and thought maybe you could look at him?”

“Certainty, Meanwhile I suppose Vi… urr I mean 202 can go back to the garden where he can spend the rest of the day. He has been inside all day long and it is making him slightly grumpy, hehe.” She chuckled sheepishly. Was it me or did she seem stressed?

Leon, also known as Boss said “Agathon, bring 202 out to the garden and give him some food too, it looks like he could use it.”

I was being led by Agathon out of the room and out into the hallways, and before I knew it I was in the garden that I loved so dearly, unfortunately it was filled with humans so it didn`t take long for the ladies noticed my presence much to my dismay. So before I knew it had had a small flock of girls stumbling after me while I went to my tree to lie down and rest. I guess I was the new Alpha, or THE alpha when Alpha wasn`t around… I need to name that Alpha guy I can`t go around calling him Alpha all day long, it gets confusing. I will call him Chuck from now on.
=========================


+ Elpis. When does the adoption start again? +

“It should start in about two days why, are you anxious to leave me that quickly?" She asked with a smirk.

+ NONO! It has nothing to do with you. I am just worried about Chuck. I`m afraid he might twist my neck next time we meet. +

“Who is Chuck?” She asked with great confusion.

+ Chuck is The alpha you treated from yesterday. Even though he was the bastard who hurt me in the first place I want you to know I still love you.+ I wrote with a goofy expression so she wouldn`t take it seriously.

“That`s sweet.” She said with a deadpanned expression. “Now, hold still will you. You smell like crap and need to be cleaned.”

+ OH really?! Maybe you should get some cleaning service for those holding cells where you keep the humans? And you do realize I am smart enough to clean myself right? Give me the soap and I’ll do it. +

“But then you won’t be able to write.” She replied. She had a point, but I`d rather clean myself than write any day, escpecially with this cramp growing. I was going to confront Elpis about it.

+ Yeah about writing. My hand has been getting lots of cramps recently. We seriously need a better way to communicate because this is getting ridiculous. I could have written books with how much I have written in the past few days. +

“Yeah, I have been considering that myself. I found out that there is something called Hoof language made by ponies primarily, but it is universal and should be easy enough for griffins to use as well… ahem and humans too.” She smiled.

+ As long as it works and takes away the paper and quill I am happy. +

“Yeah, but adoption start`s in two days like I said just a minute ago. You won`t be able to be taught the language that fast. I will have to see you after you get adopted if you wish to learn it. I actually need to learn it myself not that I think about it.”

+ daaaaw. I knew you couldn`t leave me alone after I leave this facility. +

She looked at me with a bored expression while cleaning my back “What happened to you? The first time we spoke to each other, you were all serious and very few jokes. Now you are almost as annoying as a pink pony!” She said with a bit of irritation.

+ Fine. I will stop being annoying. But let me at least crack a few jokes every now and then to lighten the mood. I mean now we are just having an idle conversation, unlike before where everything was one big Q&A session. Which sucked by the way. Do you know how boring it is to not talk to anyone for a week? +

She scrubbed away further and we just kept silent for a moment, letting our minds go our separate directions. She clearly didn`t want to talk right now since she gave me the cold shoulder, even after I apologized. Why do women have to be so difficult.
======================


“And you`re clean.” She said finishing up. I had been sitting in a medium sized bucked where I had to curl up into a ball to fit. It was humiliating but Elpis didn`t seem to care so I didn`t pay much mind to it either. She was probably used to cleaning humans up before adoptions which happened about once every month by some rich noble griffins. I stood up and stretched my legs and felt surprisingly a lot better than I had in the past few days. This bath was probably a gift from some higher power. But Now that I had gotten my little gift, I was probarly on my way down death row, taking my history and luck into account.

“How`s that rib coming along?”

+ Still hurt`s like a mother humper, but I can live with it. Thanks for asking. How is it going back home? +

Last time I asked that she avoided the topic. I didn’t bother digging further since it`s really none of my business.

“Same old, same old.”

+ What is same old? + I asked curious.


She seemed hesitant. Didn’t she trust me? Or was it something going on that she didn’t like to talk about? I made a mental note this time, reminding me to keep my ears open when I came to this topic.

“It`s nothing. Just boring stuff. How is it when you are in the garden?” She changed the subject, and I figured if I opened up, maybe she would too. I told her of how I was usually just remembering my time back on my world and how I missed my family. I tried to stay away from the subject of the females stumbling after me twenty four seven, but eventually I came to the topic of the fight between me and Alpha.

“So it`s tough huh? Don`t worry I`ll make sure you get out of this facility the next adoption session. I heard that the adopters are the princess of the Kingdom, princess Maya since her birthday is tomorrow. But she only gets to adopt the following day since everything is closed tomorrow for the sake of the celebration.”

+ Does that mean you won`t come to work tomorrow? +

“Yes. I won`t come to meet you tomorrow, and every human gets to sleep in the garden so they can breed that night aswell. I mean we griffins need food too.”

Did she really crack taht joke in front of me? Of all the jokes she had to take that one?! I looked at her with shocked eyes, not only beacuse of the joke but I was going to share the next night with the other humans while they worked on breeding with each other… Fuck my life. Like seriously, I know I have said it before but the universe hates me, this is the death row I mentioned earlier.

+ WHY DID YOU NOT TELL ME!? +

“Cause I knew it would make you upset” She said with a cocky smirk. I looked down on the ground defeated. thinking this couldn`t get any worse.

+ Elpis. I meant to ask earlier, but where are my clothes? Considering what`s going to happen tomorrow I might need clothes for protection. +

“I don`t know. They weren`t my responsibility to keep track of, tough my best guess is that they have burnt it or broken it down and sewn it into griffin clothes.”

I could cry right there and then, My Samsung Galaxy S4… My Tiger of Sweden Coat… burnt up… all my clothes… and I have to spend a night listening to other humans having at it with each other?! I swear, I have the worst possible luck there is. Period.