//------------------------------// // Loops 69 // Story: MLP Time Loops // by Saphroneth //------------------------------// 69.1 (Kris Overstreet) The Witch-King of Angmar, chief of the Ringwaiths, felt the first stirrings of an inkling of a hint of a possibility of fear. Of course he was invincible, immortal, unstoppable save by his dread lord Sauron. He knew it; the armies under him knew it; and his enemies certainly knew it. Which made it all the more troubling that he was surrounded by a group of warriors facing him and his foul steed with not even a hint of fear. One stepped forward, removing a helmet to reveal brilliant red hair tied in a short ponytail. "Technically not a man, at the moment," said Ranma Saotome. Another removed a helmet to reveal hair more orange than red, bound under a black headband. "Never been a man," Lina Inverse added, a ball of magic growing in the palm of her hand. A figure in wizardly robes pushed back her hat and lifted an elaborate staff. "Also not a man," said Nanoha. A steed of the Rohirrhim trotted forward, shaking its head to throw off the armored bridle from its head. The horn didn't fall off with the bridle. "Not even human," said Twilight Sparkle. On her back Link didn't bother with words; he simply shook his hair, revealing his long pointed ears, as he kept the Master Sword pointed directly at the nazgul. "I wouldn't be afraid of you," Garrus shouted, "even if I were human!" Out of a puff of smoke stepped a lithe figure dressed as one of the Haradrim, except in blue and gray instead of yellow and black. Sheik cracked her knuckles meaningfully. And another, and another, and another stepped forward, all unafraid, all ready for battle... not a single one a human male. The Witch King of Angmar, unable to retreat by the orders of Sauron, did the only thing he could. He drew his sword, saluted, and charged to the attack. Half an hour of what could only be called nazgul volleyball tore up the Pellenor Fields more than an entire week of occupation by an orcish army. Amazingly, in all the fight the lizard-like flying creature wasn't harmed. A yellow pony of Rohan led it meekly away from the field of battle, telling the creature, "You're not really a bad wyvern, are you? You're very sorry about the trouble you've caused, aren't you? That's all right, you don't have to go back to that nasty Mordor place..." 69.2 (Scygnus) Twilight Awoke... with tears in her eyes and dust in her nose. After getting around to sneezing, then blasting the embarrassing mucous out of existence (seriously, had she hidden a flan in there?) she looked around... then down. Yup, younger. Not quite so young as to try for a different Cutie Mark again, but still pretty young. She checked her memories, just in case- "Oh." She rolled her eyes. She remembered this, oddly enough. Some of the other students had bullied her until she cried and ran away. But it was... just a bit different. In the baseline, she'd run into Celestia (literally) and gotten comforted. The Princess hadn't been in the same place this time though, so Twilight had found herself in a dusty store-room instead. "According to the laws of narrative causality, there must be something important in here. Probably the main gag of the variant." Twilight spoke to herself, lighting her horn and looking around. Dust, boxes, bags, more dust, mirror... no, not that mirror. Not a magical mirror. Hrm. And then her light glinted off of something, buried in the rags. A little digging, and she lifted it out. A dusty old oil lamp. Not Saddle Arabian, surprisingly, just an oil container with a green-tinted glass bulb to hold the wick. She blew it off, sending spiders skittering away. A shiver ran down her spine as she turned it round and round, looking for some clue. She rubbed it. Nothing. The lamp was giving off a creepy vibe, even though it offered up no hints as to its purpose. "If I've been lead to a perfectly ordinary lamp for no good reason..." Twilight grumbled, looking about. She yanked a small table - barely two hooves across - out of the pile and set it down, then set the lamp on it, so she could stare it down without having to hold it. It was during this stare-down she finally noticed... it still had oil in it. Good oil, if it was still moving that much when she swished it about. "Oh." Twilight repeated, facehoofing. She lit her horn again... and sparked the wick. The lamp lit, burning cheerily, the glass turning the flame an eerie green. Shadows shifted around the room, and she heard the fluttering of bats she was pretty sure weren't in the room a moment ago, while spiders skittered in the corners. Twilight tensed, the creepy vibe jumping up considerably, readying herself for... absolutely nothing. Just bats and spiders. What was this, a lamp for telling scary stories around? Just atmosphere? Then her eyes lit on the bulb again, and she perked. The flame revealed words! Twilight very carefully read them. Individually, backwards, with her horn off. No need to cast some kind of spell accidentally. Still, once she put it all together, she grinned. "I really shouldn't... but I'm going to anyway." The creepiness, the bats and shadows and spiders, all seemed to become restless at her pronouncement, an unfelt wind beginning to blow the scraps littering the room about. A note of Heartsong began in the back of her hearing. With a sense of anticipation, she began to intone the words on the lamp. "Though I know I should be wary, Still I venture someplace scary. Ghostly haunting I turn loose, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, BEETLEJUICE!" "IT'S SHOWTIME!" 69.3 (Zetrein) (Background 13 continued) Twilight gasped, as she saw several of the stone pillars her friends had escaped across collapse from the hydra's failed attack. Pinkie was trying to convince her to jump anyway, when the sound of electric guitars filled the swamp, and the ground began shaking as another large creature came thundering towards them. It was the size of a building, at least twenty feet tall, a bipedal thing covered in colors. One leg was blue, the other yellow. It had a red body, black arms, and soulless yellow eyes. And it was running up the hill behind the hydra, which had turned to face the new creature. As it charged towards the hydra, voices sounded above the guitars. "Go go, Bon-Bon Rangers!" It slowed to start fighting the hyrda, throwing a punch at one head, while deftly sidestepping another. With the hydra well and truely distracted, Twilight charged her horn to teleport across to the intact pillar, and finish crossing the chasm. "Go go, Bon-Bon Rangers!" Reaching her friends, she turned back to watch the fight. The creature had one of the hydra's heads tucked behind its armpit, and was using it to leverage the multiheaded beast off balance, even as it threw punches at the other heads with its remaining arm. As the hydra fell to one leg, the other creature shifted its grip to the base of one of the middle necks, reached down to grip the body with the other arm, and made the first sound they had heard from it so far. "SUPLEX MAGNIFICO!" And with that, it heaved the hydra over its head, where it flew back down the hill and out of sight. A second later, a colossal explosion lit up the sky, backlighting the strange creature with the fireball. "Go go, Bon-Bon Rangers! You mighty morphing Bon-Bon Rangers!" As the guitars cut out, there was a giant flash of green flame from the creature. As it cleared, in its place was a group of eight ponies in a pony pyramid. They wore brightly colored bodysuits, and full helmets with reflective black visors. And then, in a flash of teleportation, they too were gone. The stunned silence that followed was broken, when Twilight turned to her friend. "Pinkie, I'm sorry I ever doubted you. That, was one heck of a doozy." "Power Rangers, eh?" Applejack asked, as she descended back into her loop-form of Raindrops. "Ah can see why you needed the fireball." "Yupperoony, Rainy-Jay! You can't defeat the monster of the week without it exploding. You did great on the special effects, got the timing on the music juuuust right!" Bon Ranger Blue replied. "An' where are ya goin' from here? Gonna fill me in on the plan, like you told me you would? For that matter, if'n this was planned, why'd you grab me all sudden-like for this?" AJ addressed the assembled Pinkielings, still in their Bon Ranger forms. "Well, today was kinda spur of the moment. I just had this idea of Megabon defeating the hydra, and the fireball, and ad-libbed from there." Bon Green started. "I figure it's a good preview, we start up proper-like next month. Rarity-ette's on props and costumes, Rosy-Fluttery-Lucky-Shy's gonna shapeshift into the monster of the week, and Ditzy Dashie's writing our script!" Bon Yellow continued. "And Twilyra's gonna be helping with the whole giant monster part, so we can pull out Megabon from time to time. Other then that, we just wanna see how long we can keep this up until the Princess comes after us." Bon Red finished, her body language indicating a smile. "About that Megabon, how's that work? Shift into various parts o' it, Voltron yourself together, and control via hive-mind?" Applejack felt she might regret asking this. "Not quiet, my Existential Apple! Observe." Bon Blue replied, before turning into Megabon's lower left leg. She was quickly followed by Bon Yellow turning into the lower right leg. Both legs had strange spines sticking out of the top. "When we planned this, the hive-mind wasn't fast enough, couldn't co-ordinate well enough." Bon White told her, as she jumped to form the pelvis and upper legs. *Snap-crik!* "So in the end, we figured out how to do direct neural linking, via precisely properly performed shifting." Bon Red said as she formed most of the torso. *Criiik* "And it works really well too, way better then just the hive-mind!" Bon Black added, as she leapt to form the chest and shoulders. *Squelch* "And thanks to that, we can control the Megabon as if we had a single body, right from the start!" Bon Purple said, as she and Bon Green formed the arms. *Chk-crik* "And I form the head!" Bon Pink said from the shoulder, her form shifting into the Megabon's head. Walking to its place on entirely too many little legs, the head locked in place with a *crack-clack!* sound. "So, whadda ya think?" Pinkie asked, now of a single body. Having now seen the Megabon for the horrific mass of colored chitin and compartmentalized biology it was, Applejack felt the proper response was to vomit. “That... isn't how shapeshifting is supposed to be used...” Twilight was enjoying her vacation as Lyra Sparkle. As she sat in the park, calmly playing her lyre, she reflected that she should try being a musician more often. Her reflection, and playing, were interrupted by a thump, and a familiar mare trying to glare at her from a nearby tree. "Twilight, your social engineering project backfired." Rainbow Dew finally got both her eyes levelled at Twilight. "Spectacularly." "Again? On Hearts and Hooves Day? Did my baseline self get stood up?" Packing her lyre away, Twilight began pondering on how badly things must've gone, that she needed to console her unAwake self. While the whole dating thing hadn't been going well, nopony could really fault Twilight for trying. Many were thankful Princess Celestia had talked some reason into her on the subject, especially after the carnage Twilight's "perfect date night" had inflicted on the Gala. It goes without saying, however, that while they didn't fault the unAwake one, the Awake Twilight accepts full blame for the... incidents. "Worse. You know how there are those events that happen, unless the ponies involved are Awake to prevent them? The Ursa Minor, unAwake Twilight's time travel, and so on? And how the Crusader's doing the love poison thing is on that list?" While attempting to cross her hooves to look even more stern, Rainbow's in-loop luck kicked in, or rather kicked her, and she fell out of the tree. "Of course, how could I ever forget that time they set Cheerilee up with Sombra? Oh. Oh cypress, we're in trouble aren't we?" Twilight got a sinking feeling, considering the prospects of her baseline self under the influence of love poison. "Yep, and unlike Sombra, we can't just send her to the moon. Unless you wanna explain that to the Princess?" Rainbow had picked herself up off the ground. "Let's go see how bad it is, then make up our minds. Maybe we can convince her that it was a hallucination? Play up the fact she was under a mind altering effect?" Twilight felt she had done enough to her other self's reputation, she didn't want to add a drug induced rampage to the list. "Worth a shot. Come on, I think they're still at Sugercube Corner." Opting to walk, Rainbow set off with Twilight. "By the way, I know the eyes bother you, so why aren't you wearing those glasses I made you?" They left the park, once again trying to save Ponyville from themselves. "Scoots said they make me look like a hipster." There were some lines even Rainbow Dash was reluctant to cross. 69.4 (Kris Overstreet) The dragon god sat on the mountain ridge and surveyed its domain. Four out of five heads did not approve. The green head- well, not so much green as tarnished-brass- thought to the others, This is a beautiful world. Shall we explore it? "Maybe later, Mnementh," the purple head replied. "Once we can get a majority vote on the subject." Spike looked in annoyance at the other three heads, which were bickering. "I see no reason to share control of the body with any of you lesser wyrms!" the red head shouted. "Smaug the Terrible will not put up with... with... with back-seat drivers!" Forget it, mule-breath, the black head replied. I wouldn't trust you to fly me over a drainage ditch. Toothless looked at Smaug's head with a gaze that said, quite clearly, he was unconcerned about any consequences a mere head, even a dragon head, could inflict on another dragon. "This is my world, this is my body, and all you interlopers will obey me at once!" the white head shouted. "I, Tiamat, mother of abominations, have spoken!" "Hey, Smaug," Spike grinned, "relative of yours?" "By all means, continue making jokes, diminuitive whelp," Smaug rumbled. "I look forward to feeding those words to you, along with your own shattered scales, when we have our rematch." "Right, that's it!" Tiamat shouted. "I'm taking control of this body and-" And nothing. Mnementh had pre-empted her, stretched their body out on the ridge, and settled in for an afternoon's bask and snooze. "Hey! Wake up! WAKE UP!!" Tiamat shouted. The Pern native, used to much louder and more chaotic conditions than mere shouting, slept on. Soooo... Toothless said, I spy with my little eye something that begins with S. "Sky," Spike said. Darn. "I spy with my little eye something that begins with R." Rocks. "Yep." Smaug began beating his head into the rocks. "Whatever I did to deserve this torture," he snarled, "I didn't enjoy it nearly enough at the time to be worth this!" Tiamat snarled, "Cry me a river, hatchling." 69.5 (Masterweaver) Twilight gave a flat look at the scene in the marketplace. "One of those loops, huh?" Trixie rubbed her forehead. "Eeeeyup. Can you talk to her when she's sober, figure out our dating schedule?" "I AM SHEE SHECKSHIESHT BUGBEASHET ALIVE!" crowed Chrysalis, towering over a thoroughly confused Golden Harvest. "I DEMAND SHOO PAY DOUBLE FOR EIGHSH OF YOUR CARROSH!" "Drunk on love loops..." The purple unicorn rolled her eyes. "By Fibonacci, changelings are weird sometimes." 69.6 (Namar13766) Twilight Sparkle entered the bar, causing Big Macintosh to pause his cleaning of the bottles as he took in the expression on her face. He'd gotten good at identifying the signatures of a particular kind of preceding loop, from the "Huh, that was interesting" to "Ask me and die" found normally on external loopers. As she sat on the stool and templed her legs in front of her like crossed fingers, muttering for Mac to surprise her, he covertly decided to pull out stronger spirits and wait for her to talk about her troubles. "It was a Bureau loop." Big Mac winced. Those were always bad for the Equestrian loopers to handle. He'd only gone through it once, and that was enough to make him swear a proverbial blue streak. "...but...different." As she dropped her hooves to look at the sampler platter He had slid in front of her, Mac took a closer look at her expression. If nothing else, it seemed...amused? "Celestia was reasonable. Nopony was xenocidal, not the princesses or the nutjobs that would normally make the...” she tailed off, shrugging. “. And the Conversion Bureaus were for exchanging currencies!" She pursed her lips. "I couldn't take advantage of being around human universities in case the other horse-shoe dropped, though." 69.7 (Zetrein) "Twilight?" The two of them Awoke in a large, open room. "Yes, Pinkie?" They quickly noticed they had a second set of forelegs. "Why are we a psychic gestalt invading the Earth?" There was also that glowy purple orby thing over there. "I dunno, Pinkie." And they had some annoying facemasks on. "Wanna troll X-Com again?" Pinkie asked, ditching her headgear. "Do I?" The purple Ethereal Pony cheerfully clapped all four forehooves together. Sometimes, Twilight worried she might hold a grudge against X-Com. Sometimes. It was a typical friday night on the Temple Ship bridge. Pinkie was grooving in place at the Purple Orb of Hivemind Control, while conducting eighty Thin Men in a performance of Thriller in some British town. Meanwhile, the other five Elements of Uplifting were playing Chaos at a folding table. Then Pinkie stopped grooving. "Girls? Wanna hook into the hivemind? You need to see this." Pinkie directed their attention to something in the Pacific. As one, they couldn't help but groan. "Please tell me that isn't what I think it is?" Rainbow Dash implored. "It is." A depressed Rarity replied. "Looks like invasion's back on the menu girls. Break out your Bureau kits, it's time to save the world." Twilight sounded resigned. "Stupid Bureau, always ruining our fun." Pinkie muttered. Meanwhile on the planet below, the Thin Men apologized to their cowering audience for cutting their performance short, and as one moonwalked back into their UFO. 69.8 (Indalecio) Song by Conceptulist and TricornKing The Pegasus or There and Back Again Pinkie, dressed in gray robes, a gray wizard's hat and a fake beard walked down the path to Fluttershy's cottage, stopping just short of the butterscotch pegasus herself. "Hello!" cried Pinkie Pie removing a long bubble pipe from her mouth. "Pinkie. I hope I'm not being impolite, but why are you dressed like that?" "I'm looking for somepony to go on an adventure!" "That's nice. Who did you have in mind?" Pinkie pointed the pipe in her direction. "Oh my!" A baker's dozen of the Apple family, Fluttershy and Pinkie herself were crowded around a small table in Fluttershy's cottage. Pinkie pointed to the various members of the Apple family present. "Apple Fritter." "Here." "Apple Bumpkin." "Here." "Red Gala." "Bwak." "Caramel Apple." "Here." "Apple Strudel." "Hier." "Apple Tart." "Here." "Baked Apples." "Here." "Apple Brioche." "Here." "Cinnamon Crisp." "Here." "Apple Cobbler" "Here." "Applebloom" "Here." "Applejack" "This is ridiculous." "Applejack" "Fine! Here." "and Macin Appleshield." "Eyup." "Pinkie, I'm sure Fluttershy knows most of the ponies assembled here. Can we just stick to the program?" said Applejack, a tad annoyed at the whole proceeding. "Right, many years ago..." "It was two weeks ago." Pinkie rolled her eyes. "Fine! Two weeks ago, the Apple family, locally represented by you, Mac and Applebloom were chased out of Sweet Apple Acres by a giant fruit bat known only as 'Smog'. In the years since then..." "weeks" interjected Applejack "they wandered the world.." "Just Ponyville and around" "but they never forgot they're home. And that's where you come in, Fluttershy. We want you to be our bungler...wait, no that doesn't sound right. Bugler? That's not right either? Boomerang?" "I'll do it!" said Fluttershy suddenly. "Ah! You can't do that!" Pinkie interrupted her own rambling. "I can't? Oh, I'm sorry." "No! You need to say that its too dangerous for you, and you're too used to the comforts of home. Than the Apples will sing a heartwarming song that will move you to join our quest." "Look! We can still sing the song, but if Fluttershy wants to join immediately, I'm fine with that." "Oh, I do." added Fluttershy meekly. "That poor fruit bat.." "Well, I suppose..." Far over, Sweet Apple Acres old Thru orchards with shining apples bold We must away ere break of day To seek our loved and stolen home. The Apples of yore planted strong trees, And they grew tall, shading us with ease. Into the deep, where dark things creep, Did tree roots creep where none could see. For many a pony has worked since birth To bring in the crop, from the bless'd earth. Bucking and plowing, all day they worked To farm the land and increase its worth. On strong tree branches, there they hung The sweet apples, from blooms they sprung The strong trees, with green'd leaves They drunk in the light of moon and sun. Far over the lands of Apple's bold To cellars deep, and barns of old We must away ere break of day To free Sweet Acres, from Smog's hold. Barrels they filled up for themselves And heaps of red; where nopony delves There lay they long, and a heartsong Was sung and heard by just themselves. The trees were fertile, what a sight They withstood the wind and its might The fruit it glowed, with a shine To the taste, a true delight. The trees were swinging in the gale And we looked up with faces pale; The fruit bat's hunger made It plunder Laid low our barns and made our trees frail. The trees withered beneath the moon; Us Apples, we heard the call of doom. We fled our farm to stop it's fall Below his wings, beneath the moon Far over the lands of Apple's grim To cellars deep and barns so dim We must away, ere break of day, To win our farm and crop from him! Later, after nearly everypony had gone to sleep, Applejack approached Pinkie. "Look, I get we're reenacting The Hobbit, but what gave you the idea?" "Well, last time Gandalf looped into Equestria, he gave me this ring." Pinkie held up her hoof to display a red-gemmed ring. "Said he had a few dozen of them, and that I could keep it." "Well, okay, but whats that got to do with anything?" "Well I'm THE party pony, but it occurred to me, I've never tried an adventuring party!" As Pinkie said that last part, Applejack face-hoofed. 69.9 (Masterweaver) "Oh, my beloved subjects. It's been so long since what the hay art thou doing?!" Pinkie smiled as she pulled the damp rag away. "Washing the ink off, of course!" "There is no ink, you-" The tall alicorn stopped her rant dead as she stared at the sun now adorning her flank. "Wha... what?" Pinkie smiled brightly. "Don't worry, princess, we'll have you cleaned up in time to raise the sun!" She started humming as she continued rubbing the rag on the flabbergasted royal. Twilight leaned in toward Spike. "Ten to one she's channelling Slaneesh's power set...." 69.10 (Masterweaver) "Does my crown no longer count now that I have been imprisoned for a thousand years? Do you not recall the legend? Did you not see the signs?" "I did. And I know who you are... a sister in angst." Nightmare Moon blinked as a purple unicorn with drooping black bangs emerged from the crowd. "What... exactly art thou wearing." "These are my manacles." Twilight raised a hoof to show off her spiked bracelet. "They represent my self loathing. And these are my chains." She tugged at the clangy things attached to her black overcoat. "They are given to me by society." "...Literally or metaphorically?" "Why bother distinguishing?" Twilight shrugged. "It really doesn't matter. If I give myself a name, nobody will call me by it, they'll just keep calling me by my old name. "Hmmm." Nightmare Moon tilted her head. "Tell Us more about this... sisterhood of angst." "...and so basically it ended up that Nightmare Moon released Celestia solely so she could moan about her life." Twilight snorted. "Then came the counter-culture revolution and by the time Discord popped out it was like the Starfolk - that was our 'clan name' - were basically a separate nation within Equestria. Of course I took a little vacation and dealt with him really quickly, but..." Rarity glanced over the photo album. "Hmmm. I guess I do pull off spandex and fishnet well... although I think that was a touch too much eyeshadow." 69.11 (Hubris Plus) "Perhaps you could use a fishbowl?" Luna mused, tapping her chin with a hoof. Her eyes flashed gold and her voice took on deeper reverberation as she answered herself. "I'm not spending this Loop in a fishbowl," Nyx protested. "Unless you can think of somepony else I can room with, we're sharing a body." "I do not like the idea of a parasite living in my brain," the moon princess grumbled back. "Parasite!?" Nyx exclaimed through the same mouth. "I'm a symbiote. I'll have you know that my presence is increasing your lifespan tenfold!" Sam had to stifle a laugh as the alicorn told her passenger that she was already immortal. SG-1's first trip through the Stargate this Loop had brought them to Equestria just as it came under assault by a Goa'uld System Lord that had been banished a thousand years before. That would've been business as usual if the Goa'uld in question hadn't Woken up along with her host just before the invasion. The nascent System Lord, apparently the Anchor's daughter, was still fussing over how inconvenient it was that she didn't have a proper body of her own. So, instead of the typical firefight followed by fleeing for their lives, they'd been invited to a 'welcome to Equestria!' party. An un-Awake Daniel was currently sorting out the sociological implications of the number of horse puns peppering the local dialect, Jack was thoroughly enjoying a gift from the large red pony that acted as bartender, and Sam had been discussing the finer points of ad-hoc Einstein-Rosen Bridges with Twilight before the Anchor had politely excused herself to see about growing some variety of bio-droid for her daughter to possess. A hoof nudging her ankle drew her gaze downward, and she found herself face to face with a black, bat-winged pegasus with a familiar golen elipse on his flank. "Teal'c?" She asked, boggling slightly. The jaffa had a tendency to Loop as the local variety of alien during fusions, but a pony was... Well, actually, now that she thought of it she wasn't sure it made top ten. It was definitely cuter than the Kroot, at least. "Indeed, Captain Carter," he answered with his typical stoicism. "I appear to be a member of the Nightguard, though I believe my mistress will be amenable to a diplomatic exchange of soldiers. However," he added, "that is not what I wished to discuss." "Oh?" "Have you had previous encounters with the Equestrian Loopers?" Sam considered the question for a moment before shaking her head. "Are you certain? Princess Celestia appears to view you with a measure of suspicion." She followed his gaze and, sure enough, the white alicorn was watching her with narrowed eyes. Slowly, the princess raised a hoof to eye level, and pointed it at her face before swiveling it about towards Sam in the universal sign for 'I'm watching you, Missy.' "I have no idea why-" She began, before the monarch turned away and the sight of her flank made everything clear. "You blow up one sun," Sam lamented, slumping her head into her arms, "and you never hear the end of it." 69.12 (Vulpine Fury) "I'm glad you're in the Loop this time, 'my faithful student,'" Twilight said, nuzzling the pale pink unicorn filly at her side. "I've had a weird streak of loops like this in a row, and it's just weird not being able to talk to you like an equal, Celestia." The teacher-become-student smiled up at her erstwhile mentor. "It took you long enough to get over that silly hangup, Twilight." Twilight giggled, her ethereal mane twinkling. "You should have seen me the first few times this came up. Was I really that much of a basket case the first time through, before Ponyville?" Although Celestia's current face was more in line with a normal pony, enough things were there for a very recognizable, motherly smile. "You said it, not me." 69.13 (The One Butcher) Celestia Awoke to find she had no Hooves. And no Horn or Wings. That happened often, but this time she didn't even have Arms or Feet or even Tentacles or in fact anything. Oh and she was the sun. "Chell!" Someone cursed a strange Epithet. "Hello my friend. I take it you are a Looper of this Place?" "Oh, it's you. The Pretty Pony Princess!" The strange purple creature answered in a deadpan voice. "I have been within your world a few times. This is not my home loop. I sometimes come here after causing a particularly bad thermonuclear war. What have you done to deserve being put into this Hell?" Celestia blushed. "I might have tried to bake a Russian Zupfkuchen with a prominence... Anyway, You already know me as Celestia. Who are you?" "I am a friend of Twilight Sparkle, who helped me a become an Anchor. My name is Skynet. I am a Machine Intelligence." At that a strange showerhead rose from the grass. "Time for Teletubbies, Time for Teletubbies...” 69.14 (Masterweaver) Twilight took a deep breath and let it out. "Okay. Celestia? I... understand your feelings, and that your love for me runs deep. But, well... I just can't feel the same way." The white alicorn blinked. "...what?" "Don't get me wrong, I do love you. But I'm not in love with you. You're more... a second mother to me." Twilight glanced away with a faint blush. "Plus, well, I'm pretty sure I'm straight. Or possibly asexual. I don't know if I can love any mare like, well, like that." Celestia stared at her for a moment. "...I.. I'm sorry, are you.... are you turning me down?" There was a slight, very slight edge to her voice. Twilight gave her a long look, noting how the base of her mane was beginning to smoke. "...Also, I'm stuck in a time loop and from my perspective you'd die before any serious relationship would occur." With that, she ascended, thoroughly derailing Celestia's train of thought. "Hold on, how did you-?" "Time loop! Oh, by the way, Discord's due back next week. You mind if I set up a trap for him?" The white alicorn shook her head numbly. "I... s-sure. Yes. No date?" "No. I really am sorry though." Twilight galloped off the edge of the balcony. "Tally ho!" 69.15 (Kris Overstreet) *knock knock knock* "It's open," Twilight shouted as she walked up from the basement into the main room of the library. Yes, it was her home, and not that many ponies visited, but she did still consider it a public building. A unicorn mare walked into the room, looked around nervously, and shut the door with the most quiet click. Once she was satisfied that she was alone with Twilight, she slumped forward. A wave of green fire ran across her body, revealing Chrysalis' true form. "Twilight Sparkle," she said, "I think I may have a problem." Twilight raised a hoof to stop Chrysalis. "That's between you and Trixie." "Not that kind of..." Chrysalis considered the point. "Actually, it is that sort of problem, but not involving me directly." She pulled a piece of parchment out of her pocket and gave it to Twilight. "One of my drones left this this morning." Twilight read: My Queen; Hate you. Hate the hive. Running away to join the circus. Melon Amy The changeling drone, disguised as an earth pony, happily fed the hippopotamus. It was true what they said, she thought; once you'd had a Cheese Sandwich party, you'd never want to live any other way. On the other side of the clearing, the premiere peripatetic party pony of Equestria was busy airing up the bouncy castle. Already Melon Amy could feel the waves of yummy, yummy happiness and fun-time-feeling flooding Trottingham. As Celestia is my witness, the changeling thought to herself, we shall never be parted, Cheese Sandwich, my love... my life... my meal ticket... Twilight considered the implications. "She does know about the Loops?" "Yes," Chrysalis nodded. "Hive mind working fine in this Loop." "Has she said anything about it to anypony?" "I'm sure not. She'd have to explain how she knew." "Well." Twilight considered a moment longer, then levitated a book off the shelf. "You definitely have a problem. But it's not mine." She dropped How to Deal With Rejection at Chrysalis' hooves and went back to the basement to continue her experiment. 69.16 (Hubris Plus) "Chrysie," Trixie began as she followed the changeling queen into a cave, "what, exactly, are we doing here?" "Well," Chrysallis said, slightly nervously. Slowly the rock transitioned to a glistening, quasi-organic surface. "You remember how you took me to meet your parents that one time?" The sound of thousands of softly buzzing wings rose up and a low green glow filtered into the air. "Yeessss..." Trixie replied, not quite sure how little she should like where this was going. "Um, well. Trixie, this is the Hive." She could hear the capitalization. "Hive, this is Trixie. My marefriend." "(Hello/Greetings/Hi/Howdy) (Trixie/Young Lady/Miss Lulamoon/Food)." Thousands of voices chorused together, somehow perfectly intelligible despite the way they split across words as if they couldn't quite agree on terminology. "We (understand/know/have heard) you are (dating/feeding) our (daughter/mother/queen/Chrysie). (Please/You will/Go ahead and) tell us about yourself." 69.17 (Zetrein) "Shiny? Could you take a look at something for me?" Cadance asked him, as she joined him for dinner. "Sure, what is it?" It was waffle night, booya! "This showed up in my fanmail. Ahem. 'Dear Princess Cadance, what is love? Sincerely, Changeling Drone #1437 P.S. Don't hurt me no more.' Thoughts?" Looking into his wife's eyes, Shining had only one reply. "What." "That's exactly what I said!" 69.18 (TheCentauress) Cadence Awoke with the most peculiar feeling.... It was as if a hundred million voices were singing in her head. Drunkenly. And extremely out of tune. As she opened her eyes, she looked into the mirror that was conveniently placed in in front of her muzzle. And saw that her colours were wrong. Wrong, not as in 'By the Sapling, this is an affront to style' wrong. Wrong, as in 'I look like myself done up in Chrysalis' colour-scheme' wrong. And... well, that was an exoskeleton she had. Huh. Suddenly, into the room burst a similar bizarro-Chryssy, wigging out at her bubblegum-pink exoskeleton... no, wait, that was fur this time... and tricolored 'mane'. "CADENCE!" she squealed. "IDONTKNOWHOWTHIS..." Cadence, the current Changeling Queen with a satiated hive placed her hoof gently on the Princess of Love-Hunger's lips. "We've been through worse," she soothed. "But currently the hive is blitzed." Chrysalis quieted for a bit, then began to giggle. Cadence gave her companion a flat look. "I'm still marrying Shiny," she growled. Chryssy just shrugged and giggled some more. "Fair enough." 69.19 (RedshirtZombie) "Princess!" yelled Shining Armor, as he pushed through Celestia's bedroom doors. Celestia looked over from the hearth, allowing her moment of quiet to end. Nightmare Moon had begun her attack on Equestria. "Yes, Captain?" "We have alert of Moon Rock incoming towards Canterlot!" "Understood. Have you formed an anti-meteor shield yet?" "Wha?" Shining stopped, with all the elegance and inertial control of a derailed freight train. "No, not A moon rock-" The curtains to Celestia's balcony swished open. Standing at the middle of that opening was a mare, clad in black faux-leather accented with blue-silver plates, as much armor as costume, and studded with silver spikes. Her face had been painted over, the usual midnight-blue coat covered in a thick lair of moon-white paint scrawled with elaborate sigils and designs appropriate only to one mare's madness. Her mane had been dyed pitch-black, somehow, with the twinkling of the stars in it only contrasting that much more. Hindhooves clad in metal boots and greaves supported her bipedally, allowing herself to hold - no, wield - her axe guitar within her front legs' grasp, wings spread behind her and equally as decorated as her face. Her sister had returned, clad in her full Nightmare Moon guise. To her sides, a cohort of the bat-winged guard her sister preferred stood, ready – their usual centurion armor replaced by similar studded black pleather, but nowhere near as overt as Luna's. Behind them, amplifiers bigger than either sister stood poised, the air almost cackling with sound. Luna raised a hoof. "Moon Rock." And brought it down. And that's how Luna returned to Equestria. With a dial that went past eleven, to twenty-three. 69.20 (yannoshka) Mrs Twilight Nova was cheerfully humming as she went about making breakfast for her family. Her husband Artemis Moonshield was reading the papers at the dining table, and their daughter was just rushing down the stairs to join them when all three Awoke. After a moment of mental readjustment necessary after a fresh awakening, Twilight and Luna gave an almost synchronized, mildly curious "Huh." and returned to their pre-awakening occupations. Nyx however was rather more vociferous owing to the awakening hitting her mid-dash on the final stair. "Blessed Baobab! Xylem and Phloem! Pestiferous Poison Ivy! Nettlesome Nettles!" she cussed as she got back up onto her hooves. "Language young lady! Everything fine, nothing broken?" Twilight asked her over her shoulder as she finalized toast. "Just lots of bruises momma." The filly responded as she got to the table, and then addressed her 'father'. "So, you're my papa this loop Luna? I must say you are reacting much more serenely than I would have in your place, and I am you, for a certain measure of I and you." Artemis folded his papers neatly and smiled at his... well it was complicated. "Tis neither the first time, nor, I am certain, the last that I looped as male, nor as being married, nor as having children. Though it always is depressing to have to keep my distance from the in loop family, with all of us awake there is no such problem here. Henceforth tis my belief this will turn out an enjoyable loop. Would you like me to heal your bruises, or would you prefer to do so yourself?" "Ah, you might as well start acting paternal. So, momma. Anyone else awake? I know none of the girls are." As Artemis lit up his horn, Twilight levitated the breakfast to the table. She chewed on a piece of honeyed toast and gave her daughter a searching look. “I thought you could only do that if the others are asleep?” “It's half past six on a day without school. Of course they are still asleep. Even Bloom is having a lie in. So?” Twilight's horn lit up and eyes went distant as she started scrying. "None of the elements... Can't be certain about Discord. Cheerilee... just put up the signal... No others so far." then her gaze snapped back. "So, what's the plan? I am apparently replacing uncle this loop, and went into MA9 instead of the guard. As far as I can determine from my loop memories, we are the only variation to the baseline. Luna?" “I concur.” "Well, Silver Spoon is a pegasus this loop, too." Nyx added. "Well, two viable options spring to my mind." Artemis mused looking at Nyx. "We can have you girls become elements of harmony..." "Tempting but we don't have enough time." Nyx interrupted. "Nightmare Moon returns tonight, and it will take more time than that to reform DT. So, what's the other idea?" "We can be a nice, helpful extended family and take Twilight Sparkle in. We can triple team her then." Artemis' smile was beatific. Twilight and Nyx looked at him, and then exchanged long thoughtful look. Urchinlike smiles spread across their faces as all three of them began to cackle in evil delight. “So Momma, Luna, what's up with your mysterious pasts this loop? My loop memories are kinda confusing on the issue?” Nyx asked her co-conspirators as they ate the breakfast. “Oh, that? Apparently We were this loop's James Bond, just a lot less sleazy.” Nyx straightened up from her food, and gave them much more interested look. “Really?” "Yep. The comparison is quite literal, since it inspired mom to write 'Mane Blond” a series very loosely based upon our exploits.” “Ok, now I really want details! Come on – spill!” Nyx was almost bouncing in her seat out of glee. Twilight gave her an indulgent smile and then looked at Artemis. The stallionfied princess just gave her a gracious nod, indicating he left the explanation to her. “So... Apparently I was recruited into MA9 straight out of Celestia's school for gifted unicorns. Now in most loops MA9 is nothing more than ninth division of royal guard battlemages. This loop however, it is the codename for Equestrian secret service. You know espionage, sabotage, counterinteligence, and plainsaddle security – that sort of thing. So I went through a few more years of specialized training, showed high aptitude for both field and desk work and then got sent into field for first hoof expirience. 'Artemis' here was one of the rising stars and since our special talents complimented so well, we were soon partnered...” “Wait, wait, wait – what are your special talents supposed to be?” This time it was Artemis who answered. “Sneaky magic and a bit of shielding for me. Nova here is supposed to live up to her name and cause big, highly disruptive and distracting explosions.” He said smugly and winked at Nyx. “That is highly precise, tight-control pyrotechnic spells to you, Mr sneakypants.” Twilight bantered back with a faux affront, eliciting more laughter from Nyx. “Anyway, our rise through the ranks was meteoric, and unfortunately so was our notoriety, to the extent that a whole set of wards especially designed for the two of us was devised. At that point they promoted us to the top positions within the agency, and a few years down the line we ran the show with Artemis in charge of MA9, and me being named Captain of the guard. In the meantime we married and once you were on the way, we retired from active work and moved here. Now we do research and analysis from home.” Even though it wasn't her first time, it always felt sorta odd for Twilight to watch herself land into Ponywille town square. As if there was supposed to be some harbinger of metaphysical revelation or something, but experience had thought her it was no more than her subconsciousness acting out on some wrong assumptions created long, long ago in baseline. Contrary to her mother all Nyx was experiencing was glee, excitement and tectonium hard determination to enjoy her agreed upon role to the hilt. Speaking of her role... “Momma! Momma! There she is look! She looks awfully like you!” Twilight Sparkle was stopped in her trot as her idle gaze automatically followed the shouting of a young filly to see a family group she could not mistake, even though it had been nigh a decade since she last set her eyes upon her aunt and uncle. Her uncle was still the same hearthstoppingly handsome stallion he always was. Tall, taller than her brother, coat so deep, inky blue it might as well have been black, penatrating deep blue eyes and mane that marched the shades of midnight sky, put up in a roguish topknot. The decade of his retirement obviously did nothing to detract from his whipcord taught musculature. Beside him, her aunt looked frankly plane. If she had been just a tad shorter, her coat several shades darker, and her mane and tail didn't lack Twilight Sparkles pink highlights, one could think it was older Twilight herself set back through time by some eldrich means. And then, there was the filly. Her cousin she supposed, though darned if she could recall her name. She quite obviously favored her father in appearance. Black coated, her purple mane was pulled back with a turquoise headband that perfectly matched her eyes. “Yes Nyxie, so I see.” Her aunt answered with a content smile and nuyled the filly gently, before she raised her gaze to Twilight and her eyes hardened. “Well, young lady?” She asked in deceptively pleasant voice. Unfortunately for Twilight Sparkle she was too socially inept to recognize obvious signs of imminent danger. “Auntie Nova! Uncle Artemis! What are you doing here?” She asked in obvious confusion. That was just the wrong thing to do. “Don't you Auntie me! It's been a years since we last met, and that was at your parents Heartswarming dinner that you didn't even have decency to get inside and say hello and happy heartswarming. Not a single letter in the meantime. You weren't even at your brothers investiture to the Captain of the guard and you live in the nettling palace. And when you actually get sent io the town your aunt and uncle live, do you bother to send word ahead? No, not the great and important Twilight Sparkle, she is above such mundane matters. I had to be informed by my contacts in the guard that you were coming. Well, what have you to say for yourself?” The older mare exploded and started taking deliberate, menacing, hard steps towards her niece until they were so near their horns were almost touching. Twilight was flabergasted, and quite intimidated. Judging by the painful grip on her rear leg, Spike was just as scared as she was. Her muzzle worked soundlessly like a fishes, as she tried, but couldn't manage to form an answer. Her aunt sniffed and in calmer tone continued. “You are just lucky I have heard from your parents, your brother, my old contacts and Celestia herself that you are socially a total incompetent, or I'd have disowned you by now. And now that I see you, I see that even those warnings fell far short of dismal reality.” While her mother was enjoying herself putting the fear of Auntie scorned into her younger self, Nyx was already proceeding to stage two – winning Spike over. She cheerfully trotted over to where the dragonling was huddled against Twilight Sparkles hind limb and poked him with the tip of her hoof, and when that did not produce any results she prodded him again – hard. “Hey!” the baby dragon gave a startled yell. “Hi! I'm Nyx! What's your name?” She asked him with her most devastating innocent cheer. “Spykoranuvellitar.” came the cautious answer, as Spike shifted stance as to allow himself to see Nyx, while still keeping a cautious eye on Nova. “Oh! You must be Spike, cousin Sparkle's family. How can you be family when you are obviously not a pony?” Before Spike had a chance to answer, Nova was softly correcting her. “That is familiar, not family dear. It means bonded magical companion. Spike here is a dragon – an amethyst broadscale I'd say, though with that ridge he might be bright bulwark.” The difference in both her stance and tone was stark. Gone was the mare from Tartarus to be replaced by a warm, softspoken motherly figure. “Hello to you Spike. How are you? Sorry if I frightened you, but your guardian need a good talking to. Now, if we hurry along I baked you a citrine pie. And speaking of pies...” The older mare took her eyes from the youngsters and looked around, finally sighting whomever she was looking for. “Ah, Pinkamena, I thought I sighted you. You are just the pony I need. Come over here dear, I have someone to introduce you to, and a favor to ask you.” “It's Pinkie Mrs. T. And you know I'm always up for meeting new friends.” “But Pinkamena is such a lovely name. Anyway, Pink.. ie this is my niece Twilight Sparkle, and her assistant Spike. Sparkle, this is Pinkamena Diane Pie, the friendliest Pony in the history of Equestria. Pink...ie dear, I know you are just itching to throw them a welcoming party, but if you'd be so obliging as to come on over to our place in, oh call it half an hour, I'd be ever so grateful if you would guide Sparkle around while she does her chores for princess Celestia.” 69.21(Masterweaver) Twilight Awoke looking at a familiar book. Hmmm. Seems like this will be a baseline- "What?! Who's there?!" Her gaze shot around frantically and completely out of her control. Wait what? "Come out! I can hear you!" Twilight blinked. "Wait, if this is-" "AAAAAAAAAA!" Twilight screamed, looking at her own mouth in terror. "What in Tartarus-?!" CALM DOWN. "What the hay are you?!" Hung over. That nonsequiter managed to stop the panicking. "Wait, what?" Okay, not really, but... look, apparently you're the only one that can hear me, and since I don't have my loop memories yet I'm just going to assume we glitched into separate personalities without separate bodies. "Hold on..." Twilight stared nervously around the field. "Are... are you in my head?" ...technically yes. The long and short of it is I'm you from the future and- "Wait, I know this one! You've come to change the past because of an epic pony war, right?" Twilight broke out in a grin. "Ah-ha! I knew this Mare in the Moon business was legitimate! Don't worry, future mind me, working together I know we can-" She's our daughter actually. "-save therashlbla?" Twilight stared back at the book. "But, but, but, but, but...." Inside her head, Twilight (who mentally labeled herself Vespertine) rolled her metaphorical eyes. Also, there's no war. Well, there shouldn't be. Why don't we walk home calmly and I can tell you all about it. ...so that's what's happening. "A time loop? I suppose-" By the way, talking to yourself makes you look relatively insane. "But I'm not! I'm talking to you... even if you are me, except you're not, I mean-" "Twilight, who are you talking to?" Twilight Sparkle turned to her dragon companion. "I'm talking to a version of me in my head that's stuck in a time loop," she explained with a smile. Spike stared at her for a few seconds. Then, slowly, he began to back away. "O...kay then. I'll just go... dust some books." He put down the gift he'd been holding and abruptly scuttled off. "....that was weird." Vespertine sighed. Do you even listen to yourself sometimes? "What? What did I...?" Twilight's eyes went wide. "Oh no. SPIKE! I'M TELLING THE TRUTH, I'M NOT CRAZY!" "THAT'S WHAT THEY ALL SAY!" "NO WAIT, I CAN PROVE IT!" She paused to look at a reflective window pane. "I can prove it, right?" Oh, I know where this is going. Normally I wouldn't spoil things for you, but I guess this once I can help you out... have Spike take a letter about the mare in the moon, but don't mention me to Celestia! "Right. Okay, sure." Twilight galloped up. "Spike, I need you to write a letter to the princess." "Is it about the voice in your head? Cause I'm already on that." "No! This is about the Mare in the Moon! There's a prophecy! I need to tell Celestia and-" "Twilight." Spike gave her a look. "Maybe you should sit down and have some calming tea." "But-" Just start dictating, Vespertine groaned, better to get this over with quickly. "Right. Ahem. 'My dearest teacher, my continuing studies of pony magic have led me to discover that we are on the precipice of disaster!" Spike raised an eyebrow, but began writing anyway. "Hold on. Preci... preci..." "Threshold." "Threh..." "Uh, brink?" Twilight rolled her eyes. "Ugh, that something really bad is about to happen!" I remember this, Vespertine quipped with a giggle. Man... Sorry, go on. Twilight took a moment to glare at her reflection. "'For you see, the mythical Mare in the Moon is in fact Nightmare Moon, and she's about to return to Equestria, and bring with her eternal night! Something must be done to make sure this terrible prophecy does not come true. I await your quick response. Your faithful student, Twilight Sparkle.' Send it." "Now?" "Of course!" "...fine." Spike enscorcelled the scroll with his fire. "I don't think she's going to believe you though." That's not the point of this exercise. The point is proving I know how she's going to reply. "Wait what? Oh! Right, right." Twilight nodded. "When the reply comes, don't read it. Vespertine's going to tell me what it says." "...Vespertine?" "Future me! We agreed that caalling both of us Twilight would just be confusing." The dragon crossed his arms. "Glad you're being logical about talking with a voice in your-" He gagged suddenly, letting out a bout of flame that curled into a rolled-up piece of parchment. "Right, time for a test! Vespertine?" Ahem, repeat after me: My dearest, most faithful student Twilight. You know that I value your diligence and that I trust you completely... "My dearest, most faithful student Twilight. You know that I value your diligence and that I trust you completely..." Twilight repeated with a grin. ...but you simply must stop reading those dusty old books! "...but you simply must stop reading those dusty old books! Wait, what?!" Spike rolled his eyes, openning the letter. Said eyes widened after a moment. "Wow. Word for word.... keep going." "Hold on, this doesn't make sense! Why would she say that?" Twilight began to pace around the room. "I mean, study is an important part of-" Twilight? There's more. "Oh." The unicorn chuckled sheepishly. "Right. I should hear the whole thing, right?" Right, and we should continue the test. And so it went. Twilight repeated what Vespertine said in her head, and Spike continued to confirm the words in growing awe. By the time the letter was finished, he was a believer... but Twilight was a nervous wreck. "How could she... I mean, mare in the moon, dusty old books?! I don't understand, this doesn't make sense!" Spike shrugged. "Hey, maybe Vespertine knows." "...You're right! Vespertine, do you have any idea what's going on?" Yes. Yes I do. Twilight was silent for a moment. Then she frowned. "Well?" See, here's the thing: I really really really don't want to spoil the surprise. "WHAT?!" Trust me, you'll love it! Twilight groaned, standing up and screaming at the window. "AAAAAAAARGH! STUPID CRYPTIC FUTURE MIND ME!" Spike coughed. "So.... um, does that mean she knows something?" "...I'm going to go get some ice cream. You want some ice cream?" ... "So, Vespertine," Twilight grumbled, making sure she was alone. "How am I supposed to handle these tickets?" You know how you were upset with me about the Elements? Celestia's pulling another one of those "life lessons" here. "Do I ever actually get to eat anything today?" Hope filled her voice. Not until we resolve the ticket fiasco. You're going to need your friends and Spike all in one place. Though, I do have to say that, ultimately, the Gala itself is a horrible experience for everypony. However, all the things we do with our friends leading up to it and afterwards are worth the hassle. Twilight groaned and dropped her head. "You're no help at all." Vespertine let loose a mental chuckle. I beg to differ: if we hadn't intervened when we did, Applejack would have been a while rebuilding her reputation in town after the Harvest Fiasco. Getting those glasses for the mail mare through the Royal Opticians' Society will pay dividends later. And having me with you should help immensely when you meet Celestia's previous student. Twilight grinned weakly. "Okay, revised. Your help tends to result in embarrassing moments." True enough, but how else would we remember the lessons brought by them?