Ponyville was rarely much of a spectacle on the average day. Streets were empty for the most part; some could even say it’s barren. But this wasn’t any ordinary day. Sweetie Belle was on her first date! Or more fittingly, an awkward silent walk through the town, which appropriately enough, was also quiet. It was past seven, perfect timing to be out in the open. No ponies around to see her? Brilliant.
When she glanced at her date from the corner of her eyes, not fully making eye contact, he didn’t seem half-bad. Nervous, sure, probably even shaking in his slender bones, but he wasn’t what she was expecting. She kept asking herself: Why her?
Snails remained silent throughout their quiet sauntering, and Sweetie Belle knew for a fact it was nerves. He was jittery, but perhaps he wasn’t as scared as she assumed. Although his physical exterior showed signs of anxiety, he maintained a brave face. Though she wouldn’t be surprised if that came to pass.
The tuxedo he wore looked a bit cute on him too. It really brought out the gentlecolt in him.
Amidst the silence, both in the background as well as the lovebirds, the gentle breeze flew by unbothered. It wasn’t much, nor did it carry a frigid gale. Sweetie Belle was grateful for this lack of dull weather. A run-in with bad weather, such as rain or sleet, and there she’d bolt back to the Boutique. Awkward dinner conversations with Rarity and Snails would ensue if that happened.
Rarity... Sweetie Belle wondered what her sister was doing. Back at the Boutique, likely preparing some meal that was bound to be better than hers.
Actually, what was going to happen? She had a lack of details, no thanks to Mr McSilence next to her. Snails was leading her... somewhere, and it certainly wasn’t a restaurant. He didn’t seem the type to organise such an event. She was partially thankful for that too; a larger crowd meant more attention.
She could see the newspaper headlines now: Sweetie Belle and Snails: Ponyville’s Newest Young Couple?
Another source and reason for Diamond Tiara to torment her if she got her grubby hooves on that.
Sweetie Belle hadn’t realised that she had growled unknowingly as she pictured the pink filly laughing it up. Thankfully, Snails either hadn’t noticed, or ignored it.
A few minutes passed, awkward friendly expressions occurring at every point. But at long last, they reach the supposed destination. Sweetie Belle grimaced.
It was Ponyville’s public park. Sweetie Belle figured it out fast. Snails wouldn’t ever afford restaurant prices, but a liable substitute was to go somewhere secluded.
Mostly secluded anyway. While for the most part, it was bare, but a few other kids remained around. Sweetie Belle partially hoped they’d go home soon.
Snails lead his date over towards a small park bench, fully layered out with an assortment of treats. Not fancy treats like Rarity would expect, but rather, friendly treats that would suit a lunch-time snack. That... was different.
But when Sweetie Belle saw how it was set up, she was certainly shocked. There was enough for numerous parties, more than she expected to indulge on. From the smell alone, she grasped a smile. The small lust her body expelled in the form of her mouth was telling her how inviting it was. She had a few questions though, mostly regarding how Snails prepared it and how it wasn’t all cold.
“Can I take your seat?” Snails politely asked, offering his hoof at the bench.
Unfortunately, his politeness was in vain, because the bench didn’t pull out. She saw him tugging at the wood, grunting as he tried to pull it out. A little giggled escaped her.
Sweetie Belle lightly tapped Snails a few times, stopping him in his bench destruction. “It’s okay Snails. Thank you though.” She walked past him, lifting up her dress and easing herself up onto the bench. She noticed a little blush coming over him as he did the same on the opposite end. “Wow,” she exclaimed, her eyes taking another gaze at all the food. “How did you do all of this?”
Snails picked up a few items in front of him and placed them on a plate that was already set up. “Snips helped me,” he admitted.
Sweetie Belle tilted her head. Snips? Musing over it, it didn’t sound unbelievable. Neither one of them was spotted without the other. The smaller one was the one to actually ask Sweetie Belle out for Snails too.
It sounded plausible in her eyes. But whether Snails lacked the intellect to set up anything remotely romantic himself, or if the job went half and half, she couldn’t decipher. It was well set up though, that was given.
Curious, while also ambiguous, Sweetie Belle picked up a few snacks and planted them on her plate. She twiddled with one of them, more interested in the texture and wondering what the flavour was like than her actual date. She knew she shouldn’t have thought that, but she couldn't help it.
He gorged on his supposed dinner. If Rarity were present, that’d be the end and she’d have bailed. More appropriately actually, Rarity would have likely quit within two minutes.
But for some reason, Sweetie Belle didn't mind the act of gluttony, even finding it a little admirable. If she had to guess, it was because she was familiar with his ways. It was nothing new to her; he was usually a pig.
He lacked appropriate manners for a date. She knew this, and she knew they wouldn’t ever work. She didn’t see anything, by definition, attractive about him, impressive as he might seem. He went to great lengths sure, and he prepared a date like a colt—or stallion, in Rarity’s case—but love wasn’t in bloom. And in some possible way, Sweetie Belle believed Snails knew the same thing. He might have snagged her on a date, and he might have a crush on her—which she was still unsure on how to feel about—but at least he could try.
He had his merits, but in the end, he wouldn’t succeed. Sweetie Belle knew she’d have to shoot him down sometime. The sooner the better was a different battle to face. Humour the colt or flat-out reject him?
“So...” Sweetie Belle muttered loudly with intention, attempting to make conversation. “Anything you would like to... maybe, talk about?” she squinted an eye, unsure of everything in its entirety.
“No, not really,” Snails replied, licking off traces of crumbs around his mouth.
Sweetie Belle let out a small chuckle, looking around her nervously. As she saw it, the awkward levels had blown through the theoretical ceiling. Puckering her lips, she rested her head onto one of her forelegs, her eyes gazing towards the side.
Even the park and the other kids were more invigorating to look at. If only one of the bountiful colts were Rumble. Rumble my prince, rescue me from my demise.
Sweetie Belle sighed, as once again, her eyes trailed towards the landscape. She set sights on a nearby bush that after a few seconds, rustled unlike any rustle. Her eyebrow quirked up, knowing something was off.
First off, a bush didn’t move by itself. Second, she could swear there somepony behind it.
“Excuse me for a second,” she said as she left the bench, not actually caring if Snails noticed. He was far too engrossed in his food. Like a stealthy ninja stalking its prey, Sweetie Belle did her best to converge on the bush as silently as possible. Closer inspection after a few steps confirmed that a conversation was going on around it.
Normally, she wasn’t one to stalk, but a little excitement she just couldn’t deny—anything to liven up her date. Scuttling along the ground, she leapt around the confines of the bush with great agility, shouting, “Hyah!”
The two fillies that were arguing halted immediately. Apple Bloom even jumped when Sweetie Belle surprised them.
The unicorn was quick to interrogate them. “What are you doing here?” she asked, briskly walking towards them, intent on getting answers.
Scootaloo nervously rubbed the back of her head as her body remained in its current position: absolutely flat on her back, likely from an a scuffle with Apple Bloom. “H-Hey Sweetie Belle. Fancy meeting you here...”
“You didn’t answer my question,” Sweetie Belle said matter-of-factly, staring down the pegasus with her leering eyes.
“Yeah, about that... You see, we were kind of... Rarity asked us to watch you.”
“What!” Sweetie Belle squeaked, “Why?”
“Shh!” Scootaloo hissed behind her hoof, getting up from the ground. “She asked that we keep an eye on you. I don’t think she’s fond of Snails.”
Sweetie Belle didn’t reply.
“Yeah,” Apple Bloom agreed, joining into the small huddle. “And it looks like you’re hitting it off well.”
Sweetie Belle dipped her head, as if to say, “Really?”
Apple Bloom glanced left and right before she tip-toed towards Sweetie Belle. “So, have you kissed him yet?”
“What?” Sweetie Belle shot back. “No! Of course not!”
“You should,” Apple Bloom replied with a mischievous grin.
Sweetie Belle imagined it and imagined it hard. Him and her... kissing. “Eww,” she said under her breath, wincing. It only grossed her out more when she noticed Apple Bloom making pretend kissing noises with her hooves.
“So what’s your plan?” Scootaloo asked, stealing a glance out from the bush to make sure Snails hadn’t moved.
Sweetie Belle joined Scootaloo in the small camp-out, scouting Snails’ activity. “I don’t know. He doesn’t talk about anything. He doesn’t behave properly. If Rarity saw him, he’d be the definition of uncouth.”
Apple Bloom joined on the other side of Sweetie Belle. “Does he even know you’re here right now, watching him?”
“No.”
“Well you can’t just run away,” Scootaloo said. “There’s nothing you’d be able to explain.”
“Why are you defending me?” Sweetie Belle asked. “You made me do this in the first place!”
Scootaloo gave Sweetie Belle a small glare. “Yeah, because you wouldn’t shut up about Featherweight and your dreams to preen his feathers!”
“What’s wrong with a little fantasy?”
“When the pony having the fantasies shares them with her friends endlessly, then it gets annoying!”
“Girls, hush!” Apple Bloom interjected, nudging Sweetie Belle. When she knew she had their attention, she continued. “You’ve got to go back over there Sweetie Belle. Snails will suspect something if you don’t.”
Sweetie Belle dipped her head a bit. “I know, but he’s so boring.”
“You going to have to,” Scootaloo said. “Take one for us.”
Sweetie Belle closed her eyes and sighed. Surrendering her fate, she started to walk back towards the bench. “Enjoy watching the awkwardness,” she said without turning around. "Or go home."
Scootaloo and Apple Bloom exchanged a few looks.
Sweetie Belle gingerly climbed back onto the bench, coming into eyesight for the one and only Snails, who had somehow finished his decadent food and was doing... absolutely nothing, as if he was a ragdoll.
“Sorry about that,” Sweetie Belle said, forcing a smile. “I had to... do something... over there.”
“It’s okay,” Snails dismissed, still doing nothing.
Sweetie Belle’s eyes moved for a bit before she let out a nervous chuckle. “Haha yes...”
“Snips, now's a good time!” Snails called out.
Sweetie Belle froze at the sudden name calling, not to mention the volume. Snips? Her mouth opened to begin asking what was going to happen, but before words emerged, the small unicorn appeared from a corner, wearing a tuxedo and a top hat. Her first thought was one of pure befuddlement; just what was he doing here?
But when Snips pulled out a small instrument, she pieced it together. “Uh-oh...” she mumbled as Snips began to play a violin. Terribly.
It wasn’t long before all of the attention was drawn towards Sweetie Belle and her attempts of hiding, as countless numbers of eyes pierced right at her as Snips played slow, soulful music.
* * *
Worst. Date. Ever!
That experience might have put Sweetie Belle off dating for a while, or maybe even forever! Rarity was... Rarity’s advice sucked! What kind of talk was she saying about waiting for the right guy? Had Rarity even been on a date before?
The walk back home was long and tedious in Sweetie Belle’s eyes, just as when she had left. At least her haven was soon in her grasp. That’s all she wanted, her sanctuary, but one thing remained.
Dumping Snails.
When they had finally reached the Boutique—Sweetie Belle making sure they weren't being tailed from two certain fillies, Snails came to a grinding halt, and Sweetie Belle stood in front of her door. “So uh... this was fun?” she asked with little anticipation.
“Yeah,” Snails agreed.
Sweetie Belle played with her lips for a few seconds before she sighed. The time had come. “Listen Snails, I don’t know how to say this.” He only blinked his eyes. “I’m sorry to say this, but the thing is... I’m not interested.”
Snails remained unreactive for a short while. “That’s okay,” he reassured her with a somewhat normal face. He didn’t seem distraught in the slightest, which only confused Sweetie Belle.
“It is?” she asked.
“Yeah,” he replied plainly. “I picked that up during our date. You weren’t interested and I could tell. I don’t get why you didn’t tell me.”
“Sorry?” she replied, quirking an eyebrow.
“Sweetie Belle, I had fun, but this can’t work. I hope we can remain friends.” And with that, Snails turned around and walked away. “I’ll see you at school.” The way his dull voice expressed everything didn’t even elicit any form of anger or hatred. He didn’t seem disappointed in the slightest.
“Did I... Did I just dump him?” Sweetie Belle raised a hoof to her chin to contemplate what just transpired. A few seconds went by before Sweetie Belle realised the truth, and proceeded to jump in joy. She could only do it once, for the little condition known as fatigue shook her legs.
As Sweetie Belle turned and trotted into her humble home without a care in the world, two things crossed her mind.
The first was that she got off scot free and that there’d be no more dates with Snails.
The second caused her to halt in her merry trot, the realisation striking her just like a chord. “Wait a minute... Did he just dump me?!”