The SweetieMash Chronicles
Chapter 25: Why You Don’t Anger Demi-gods 101
As the echo of Discord’s snap faded, another sound rose up to take its place: a panicked, pained sound, or rather hundreds of tiny high-pitched sounds that drowned out everything around them. Screams. Terrified screams that seemed to call out from every nearby street, corner, and house. These screams were soon joined by any and all ponies in the vicinity.
As per the norm when confronted with an unexpected and harrowing situation, the ponies of Ponyville ran about in a panic as they screamed in fear. Some even tried to hide, but there was no escape. Unable to determine anything useful to do in the situation, the ponies continued their mad display of pandemonium, uselessly carrying on as if the world was ending and there was nothing they could do about it.
In their defense, no one really gives much thought as to what they should do when the very things they stood on day in and day out start screaming because they’re being stepped on.
Button Mash cringed as he watched the horror unfold in front of him. His own hooves were mercifully silent, but he couldn’t help but shudder as the ponies of his town frightfully galloped about as every step simply elected more protests from the bottom of their legs.
“It smells like horse apples down here!” he heard a tiny voice say as Rainbow Dash flew past. She kept her legs straight and pointed behind her as she flew as fast as she could, as if the act would somehow put some distance between her hooves and the rest of her.
“SHUT UP! SHUT UP!” Rainbow Dash cried.
“Have you ever got any of us trimmed?!” One of Rainbow Dash’s hooves protested in a voice that sounded not unlike Rarity’s. “It’s just a FILTHY MESS down here!”
“SHHHHHUUUUUUUT UUUUUUUUUUUUP!” Rainbow Dash cried as she zipped by.
Discord threw back his head and let loose a deep, malicious cackle that cut into the choir of hundreds of panicked screams. “…HAHAHAHA! WHAT NOW PONYVILLE?! DO YOU STILL THINK THIS IS FUNNY?! DO YOU STILL THINK IT’S A GOOD IDEA TO LAUGH AT SOMEPONY’S MISFORTUNE?! BECAUSE FROM WHERE I’M STANDING, YOU’RE RIGHT! IT’S HILARIOUS! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”
“MR. DISCORD GENIE, SIR?!” Button shouted.
“…HAHAHAHAHAHAHA…!”
“MR. DISCORD GENIE, SIR?!” Button cried with more force.
“Oh, what is it?!” Discord asked as he glared down at Button.
“Can I use one of my wishes to get you to stop?!”
“Hmmm… No…” Discord said with a cold smile.
Button turned and watched as a purple unicorn mare with a two-toned purple main and three gems for a cutie mark laid on her back. She glared at her hooves as her horn began to glow purple. The same glow that enveloped her hooves, muffling the sounds of them screaming that they were now suffocating.
Button turned back towards Discord. “Please! Just…” Tears started to well up in Buttons eyes. “Just stop it!”
The smile dropped from Discord’s face as he looked down at Button. For a moment he just silently glowered down at the colt. He shook his head from side to side. “No, my dear Button Mash. I’m just having too much fun. I think this will go on for a good, long while.”
Button felt his eyebrows lowering. He wiped at his eyes with a forehoof and stared up at Discord in determination. “If you… If you won’t stop, then I’ll stop you!”
Discord stared down in surprise at Button Mash. “You… you can’t be serious.”
Button lowered his head, pointing his propeller beanie square at Discord’s lower body. He dragged his hoof against the ground. “I’m more serious than I’ve ever been in my life! You wanted me to be a hero! Well here I am.”
Discord paused. He then grinned. Grinned, then smiled. He chuckled. Then chortled. He even snickered then guffawed. He shook his head as laughter poured out of him, though in a much more figurative way than it usually would from a being such as himself. “Congratulations, my little pony. You’ve done to me what so few are capable of.”
Button paused midway through hoofing at the ground. “I caused your heart to grow three sizes?” He asked hopefully.
Discord shook his head. “Oh, it does that if exposed to water. It makes an excellent sponge.” He smiled at Button. A smile steeped in malicious mischief, but warm all the same. “You’ve surprised me.”
“So… so you’ll stop—”
“IT SMELLS LIKE TURTLE DOWN HERE!”
“SHHHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUT! UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUP!”
“—this?” Button said as he motioned out into town, letting the chaos speak for itself.
Discord peered thoughtfully at the scene in front of him and shrugged. “Eh… They do this about once a week with or without my help.” He raised his eagle talon and put it into the snapping position. “And I probably should stop before—”
“DISCORD!” The unmistakable shrill of Fluttershy’s angry accusatory yell sounded out.
“Oh, come on!” he cried as he quickly snapped his eagle talon. “I was just about to stop!”
The tiny screams ceased and after a several seconds of ponies coming to realize they were no longer listening to the cries of quite sapient and quite loud hooves, calm once again returned to Ponyville.
Button let out a sigh of relief. “Thank you…”
Discord grit his teeth and shot a fearful expression to the butter-colored pegasus who marched straight towards him. “You’re welcome… I just wish you had stood up to me sooner…”
“Huh? Is it because of that angry-looking—”
Still a few yards out, Fluttershy began yelling angrily as if she was simply warming up for the mother of all tirades. “Just what in the name of Tartarus where you thinking?! How DARE you terrorize everypony like that! What the hay has gotten into you?!”
“Yes,” Discord answered.
Much to Discord’s surprise, Button stepped in front of him and the approaching Fluttershy. “Uh… Miss er… Miss Fluttershy, right?”
“Uh… Oh, hello…” Fluttershy said, somehow calming herself immediately at the sight of Button. “You’re Sweetie Belle’s friend, right?” She looked back up at Discord, the fuming look of boiling anger seemingly returning just as fast as it had left. “Did Discord hurt you?!” She glared at Discord accusingly. “Is he using you in some sort of sick and twisted game of his to harass ponies?!”
Discord winced. “Now, when you say ‘sick and twisted’…”
“Not one peep out of you, mister!” Fluttershy cried. “I’m talking to… er…” Her expression softened instantaneously as she looked back down at Button. “Oh, uh… I’m so, so sorry, but I don’t know your name,” she said in a tone as if not knowing the young colt’s name was somehow a personal failing on her part.
“My name is Button Mash!” Button said with a smile. “And Mr. Discord Genie Sir was just trying to help me!”
Fluttershy glowered up at Discord once more. “I’m suuuuure…” she growled out.
Discord gulped.
“It’s true!” Button exclaimed. “He was.. he was trying to help me, you see. He turned into this huge, scary, just… Oh my gosh that thing will haunt my nightmares FOREVER—!”
“NOT! HELPING!” Discord said through clenched teeth as Fluttershy’s face somehow contorted in even more rage.
“Right!” Button said. “Well, he was trying to help me by turning into a monster, but then Sweetie—MMPH!”
Discord quickly bent down and covered Button’s mouth with his lion’s paw. He stood up to his full height, Button still in his grip. “That’s quite enough, my dear Button Mash!” Discord said hastily.
“Why?” Fluttershy asked, sneering with every muscle she could manage. “What was he going to say?”
“What? Nothing!” Discord insisted. “Don’t worry about it! You’re right! This was an awful, terrible thing I did without rhyme or reason because I’m just so… so… chaotic! And mean! And also chaotic! And I don’t understand friendship yet! You should not listen to anything anypony tells you and just yell at me forever instead!” Discord gave Fluttershy an oddly hopeful smile. “Doesn’t that sound like an appropriate reaction to this whole horrible, thoughtless mess I caused because I’m just the worst creature ever?!”
Fluttershy’s eyes narrowed into narrow slits. “Diiiiiscord…” She said in a warning tone. “Tell me what happened or I’m… I’m… I’m never bringing by those little crackers with the cheese you like so much to tea ever again!”
Discord gasped and let go of Button, who hit the ground with an “Ooof!”
The Lord of Chaos raised his talon and paw up to his cheeks. “You wouldn’t!”
Fluttershy nodded. “I would! And you can forget me making those crumpets, too!”
Discord’s eyes became wide and glassy. “The… the ones with the frosting on them?” he squeaked out.
Fluttershy nodded. “The SAME!”
Discord bit down on his lower lip with enough force that it began to quiver. “I… no! I’m sorry Fluttershy, but… but… I’m taking this secret to my grave!” He raised an eagle claw up resolutely. “You can have me locked up in Tartarus until the end of time and space as we know it, but you’ll never—”
As if on cue, Rainbow Dash suddenly descended from the sky, landing next to Fluttershy and practically burying her muzzle in the butter-colored pegasus’s ear.
Discord’s claw and jaw dropped like a wet noodle.
“Rainbow Dash?!” Fluttershy exclaimed. “What-Oh…” Fluttershy’s angry expression began to dissolve as a smile crawled its way onto her face. “But he… hehehe… No, really?! HAHAHA! SWEETIE BELLE?! HAHAHAHAHA!”
The two pegasi suddenly fell onto their backs, laughing hysterically as they kicked up at the air.
Discord let out a sad, extended sigh as he dragged his paw across his face, stretching it out to the ground. It snapped back into place like a rubber band.
“Er… Mr… Uh… Discord, sir?” Button said in a concerned tone. “Are you alright?”
Discord wordlessly turned from the ponies still too overwrought with laughter to do anything more than writhe on the ground. He began to trudge away as he slumped forward so low his head and arms hit the ground. He began walking all the same, allowing his face and appendages to drag along the cobblestone street.
Button’s ears flopped down around his head, and he silently followed Discord down the street and into an empty park where Discord found a stump to sit on. Discord pressed his dragon leg and hoof against the stump while he rested his eagle talon on his legs. He leaned forward and propped his chin up with his paw and stared down at the ground thoughtfully.
Button simply stared at Discord with the same concern he had before. He gave Discord a small smile. “Er… bit for your thoughts?”
Discord winced. “I swear if you start singing about the beach or seagulls I will turn you into a newt.”
Button swallowed. “A… a newt?”
Discord let out one more sigh stepped in sadness and shook his head. “Button, I have existed for billions of years, many of them simply floating around watching dust collect. I’ve seen atrocities done to ponies and creatures that are on a scale and severity you would not believe! I’ve experienced pain you could not possibly comprehend. I have been turned to stone not once, but twice in what was, relatively speaking, a short amount of time and left to rot in some ridiculous garden so I could serve as a talking piece for school children.” Discord paused. “Today was easily the worst day of my life.”
“Oh…” Button said simply. “Er… Hey! Whenever I feel sad, my mom takes me for ice cream or plays video games with me! Maybe we could…”
“Button, you’re so innocent and sweet I think my pancreas just melted.”
“Uh… sorry?”
Discord shook his head. “It’s fine. It happens all the time when you sustain yourself on nothing but soda and pop-rocks.”
Button chuckled. “Really? That sounds fun!”
Discord nodded. “It is when you can regenerate internal organs at will, but I digress.” Discord shook his head. “I’m sorry, my dear Button, but I don’t think I can help you with Sweetie Belle.”
Button’s eyelids shot open wide and tears began to flood the amber orbs underneath. “But… but…”
“You stood up to me!” Discord said as he motioned to himself. “The Lord of Chaos! You were ready to stop me no matter what the cost! Are you really still afraid to tell some filly how you feel about her?”
Button blinked a few times, clearing the tears from his eyes. He started up at Discord, his expression blank and his demeanor calm. “Yes,” he answered.
“Ugh…” Discord groaned. “You ponies… You have such short lives and yet you spend them all being your own worst enemy.” Discord shook his head. “I’m really tempted to give you some ‘cat poster’ wisdom, but I think you probably get plenty of that already from your mom…”
“Well… you’re not wrong…” Button said.
Discord scratched the back of his head. “Look, if I had thought this through better, I would have claimed this was all some big show to give you the confidence you needed to talk to Sweetie Belle, but I can’t do that.”
Button puffed out his lower lip into a pout. “But if you can’t, then who can?!”
Discord sighed. “Ugh… This is just SOOOOOO after-school special… but… It’s something you have to do for yourself.”
“Okay… but… but…” Button felt tears well up behind his eyes. He clenched his eyelids hard and opened them again. “I think… I think you were right, Discord, sir…”
Discord gave Button a perplexed look at his odd phrasing. “Were? You mean the thing I just said a few seconds ago?”
Button nodded. “Well, yeah… but something else… I don’t know if I can just go out and tell Sweetie Belle how I feel.” Button grinned widely to himself. “But I think I can show it!”
Discord stared at Button blankly for a second. “Don’t blow anything u—” He smiled to himself. “Oh listen to me… Do what you have to do Button, be it property damage, tying up a rival for Sweetie Belle’s love and throwing them into the trunk of your taxi, or even kidnapping Sweetie Belle herself.”
Button nodded. “I will, Discord, sir!” He frowned. “I mean… I don’t think this will hurt anyone and I’m pretty sure I can just ask Sweetie Belle to come over instead of—”
“Just go,” Discord said as he motioned for Button to go with his paw. “You’re ruining the moment.”
“Right, sorry!” Button said as he turned and began galloping away. “Thanks, Discord, sir! You’re one of my best friends!”
Discord looked up towards the sky, rolled his eyes with a smile, and chuckled.
“So you really were trying to help!”
Discord jolted upright and turned. Fluttershy was standing right behind him with a bright, warm smile that seemed to shine brighter than the sun in the sky.
“Fluttershy?!” Discord said in surprise. “When did you…” Discord shook his head. “Remind me to get you a cape and cowl with bat-ears for next Hearth’s Warming, you’ve earned it.”
Fluttershy trotted up to Discord and laid her head against his side, nuzzling him lightly. “You know… I think you really did help Button Mash.”
Discord turned to watch Button gallop away. Button tripped with an “Ow” then got right back up and continued running. “You know… Yeah… I think I really did…” Discord shook his head. “How awful.”
With a dirty coat that sported the odd blackened singe and wings that were clearly bent at an unnatural angle from under her back, Scootaloo stared up at yet another beautiful Ponyville day. No doubt brought to everypony courtesy of her favorite pony in the world, Rainbow Dash. Lying face up she could appreciate the brilliant light blue of the sky dotted by the odd, perfectly fluffed cloud that wafted on the gentle breeze high above her. From her spot on the ground she had an almost perfect view of above… Now if only that net above her would burn the rest of the way away so she could view the sky unhindered.
Next to Scootaloo and in similar states of injury, Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom let out pained moans because, as the three had discovered time and time again, falling hurts.
“You know,” Scootaloo began, “in hindsight it’s sort of amazing how none of us could see this coming.”
Sweetie Belle flopped onto her stomach, her legs apparently not yet up to the task of getting her back on her hooves. She glared at Scootaloo. “But we had a net!”
“Yeah,” Scootaloo said, “a net that apparently wasn’t very fire retardant.”
Apple Bloom gasped as she flopped onto her side. “Scootaloo! You’re not supposed to say that word!”
Scootaloo crossed her eyes as she reviewed her previous statement for anything potentially offensive. “… ‘Apparently’?! Is it… Is it because it has the word ‘parent’ in it and it reminds you of things you don’t have?”
“Not that word!” Apple Bloom said with no small amount of irritation. “The ‘r’ word!”
Scootaloo thought for a moment. “OOOOoooooh! You think…” Scootaloo sighed and shook her head. “I just meant while planning our awesome attempt of getting our cutie marks by blowing glass while walking a tightrope, we should have maybe figured out if the rope we were on and the net that was supposed to catch us if we fell wouldn’t catch fire if molten glass was dropped on it!”
The other two fillies were quiet for a moment.
“Huh…” Sweetie Belle uttered. “You know, I guess we should be happy we didn’t end up covered in half-melted glass.”
“Yes,” Scootaloo answered. “That would seem like a possible outcome.”
Apple Bloom pursed her lips thoughtfully for a moment. “Do ya think we can get cutie marks in being lucky?”
Sweetie Belle giggled gently. “Either that or we’re going to get cutie marks in figuring out cutie marks.”
The other two fillies joined Sweetie Belle in laughter.
Apple Bloom stopped her snickering and looked at Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle. “Guessing Ah know the answer as the three of us are talking without in blood-curdlin’ screams, but everypony alright? Do we need to rush anyone to the hospital?”
Sweetie Belle shook her head. “I’m fine, though I think I’m going to give my legs a little rest before I try walking.”
With a strained grunt, Apple Bloom rose to her hooves, causing a shudder to start from the bottom of her legs and go up to the tips of her ears as she clenched her teeth. She slowly lowered herself back down onto her stomach. “Yeah, me too. Scoots?”
Scootaloo sighed. “I’m also fine, my wings broke my fall.”
The other two fillies winced.
Scootaloo continued, “But I’m enjoying the view, so we can hang out for a bit.”
The fillies sat and laid quietly for a moment.
A brief moment that ended when Apple Bloom spoke up. “Should we figure out what we’re going to try to get our cutie marks in next?”
Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle’s foreheads tightened as if they were giving serious thought to the question.
Scootaloo shook her head. “Naw, one brush with death a day is enough for me, I think.”
“Yeah,” Sweetie Belle said, “maybe we should break for the day.”
Apple Bloom sighed. “Alright, then… Well what else are we going to talk about?”
The three fillies thought for a moment.
Sweetie Belle let out a sorrowful sigh. “I got into a fight with Button Mash today.”
Apple Bloom suddenly hopped to her hooves, ignoring the shooting pain in her legs. Scootaloo also got to her hooves, rolling over onto her stomach before standing up, exposing her bent wings. With a strained grunt she stretched her wings, which fell back into place with a slight ‘crack’.
“What?! Really?!” Apple Bloom asked in concern.
“Was it bad?!” Scootaloo asked. She shot Sweetie Belle a frown stepped with realization. “You two got into a fight over a video game, didn’t you?”
Sweetie Belle let out another sad sigh. “… Yeaaaaah…”
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo groaned.
“What?!” Sweetie Belle asked.
“We thought it was serious!” Apple Bloom replied. “That’s ‘what’!”
Sweetie Belle’s ears flopped down around her head. “Well, it was sort of a big fight.”
“When was this?” Scootaloo said. “You’ve seen Button like… three times today!”
“Uh… it was before he and Discord showed up on the cliff, so also before I beat up Discord.”
“WHAT?!” Apple Bloom exclaimed.
“You beat up Discord?!” Scootaloo added. “Why aren’t we talking about that?!”
Apple Bloom cleared her throat and shot Scootaloo a quick look.
“I mean… Tell me later!” Scootaloo said hastily. “You’re clearly broken up about this stupid fight about nothing important you had with Button Mash that also clearly doesn’t matter at all!”
“Scootaloo!” Apple Bloom snapped.
“What?!” Scootaloo protested. “It’s not like Button is avoiding her, or giving her the silent treatment, or like… doing anything to show that he’s still upset about whatever happened?! So what’s the big deal?!”
Sweetie Belle frowned so heavily that her expression seemed to weigh her entire head down. She spoke in a voice so whisper quiet that Apple Bloom and Scootaloo had to move closer and listen intently to hear, “I think… I think I might be bad for Button…”
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo jumped back slightly.
“Bad?” Apple Bloom asked as she took a half step forward. “Bad like how?”
Sweetie Belle began to whimper. “He gets… He gets hurt around me.”
Apple Bloom turned to Scootaloo and raised an eyebrow. Scootaloo met the expression with a similarly perplexed look.
Apple Bloom smiled. “Sweetie Belle, we all get hurt around you,” she said sweetly.
Sweetie Belle let out a sad, distressed squeak as Scootaloo smacked a hoof against her face.
“I think what Apple Bloom was trying to say is that the three of us cause a lot of collateral damage,” Scootaloo said as the flaming remains of the net fell down around the three fillies, each one narrowly avoiding flaming rope only by the slimmest of margins from a hole already having burnt through the center. “I mean, that’s as much our fault as it is yours.”
“But what about the fight?!” Sweetie Belle cried, her voice starting to raise in octaves. “And even if it’s not just me, I’m the one who’s always getting Button involved!”
“Well, he passed on coming out today, didn’t he?” Apple Bloom said. “Ah think he’s learning when maybe what we’re doing just ain’t his cup of cider.”
Scootaloo scrunched her lips up a bit. “We should really pay attention to when that happens…”
“Okay, but… but…” Sweetie Belle took a deep breath. “But I’m sure he’ll come out again with us, and who knows what’ll happen?”
“Uh…” Scootaloo dwelled on this for just a moment. “He’ll get banged up and bruised and move on or repress whatever happened so he can get through the day without some horrible post-traumatic stress disorder breakdown like the rest of us?”
Apple Bloom turned to stare at Scootaloo.
“I mean… I just guessed that’s how you guys handle this,” Scootaloo said as she looked at the net that was burning out while scorching the grass. “I don’t know how to explain why we keep doing this otherwise…”
“… What about the fight?” Sweetie Belle said quietly.
“Oooooh, right, the fight!” Scootaloo said with a smile. “The fight you had with Button. The fight we established doesn’t matter because Button doesn’t seem to care. That fight.”
“Scootaloo,” Apple Bloom said in an exasperated tone, “could you at least try to be sympathetic here?”
“Look, I’m sorry!” Scootaloo said. “But there’s something I’m not seeing! Sure Button gets hurt and you two argue over stuff, but like… so do we! And like… Button’s got the coordination of a three-toed sloth that’s just woken up from a twenty hour nap!” Scootaloo suddenly smiled. “Hey, didja two know that sometimes sloths grab their own legs thinking they’re branches then fall to their death?”
Sweetie Belle let out a panicked squeak.
“Scootaloo! Not helping!”
“Right, sorry,” Scootaloo said. “I just learned that and wanted to share!” She turned towards Sweetie Belle. “But like… are you sure Button getting hurt is all your fault?”
“Well…” Sweetie Belle said. “I only see him get hurt when I’m around…”
Scootaloo’s entire face began to twitch as if all her muscles were trying every single angry expression they could manage all at once. “Apple Bloom…” she said through gritted teeth. “Please point out the flaw in that statement to Sweetie Belle, I need to walk over past the burning net and scream.”
Apple Bloom nodded. “Eeyup. Go right on ahead.”
Scootaloo quickly turned and began trotting away, stepping gingerly over the pieces of net that were still smoldering.
“What?!” Sweetie Belle asked. “What’d I say?!”
Apple Bloom looked at Sweetie Belle with a kind, if serious expression. “Well of course—”
“RRRRRRAAARRRRGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!”
“… Well of course, you only see him get hurt when you’re around! You wouldn’t be around to see him get hurt if you weren’t there, silly!”
Sweetie Belle’s eyes widened. “Oops…”
Apple Bloom shook her head. “Come on now, think! There’s gotta be some time Button Mash got hurt around you that didn’t have anything to do with you!”
Sweetie Belle perked her head up with a thoughtful expression. “Well… the day we met he got really bad brain freeze… Like… he fell off his chair and everything.”
“See!” Apple Bloom said. “There ya go! It’s not all—”
“And he falls down the stairs in his house.”
“Right! Not all—”
“Like… a lot!”
Apple Bloom frowned. “Not all you.”
Scootaloo trotted back up to the other fillies.
“Feeling better?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Much,” Scootaloo replied. “You get Sweetie Belle sorted?”
Apple Bloom nodded and looked at Sweetie Belle. “I think so.”
“Okay,” Sweetie Belle said, “so Button’s going to get hurt whether I’m there or not, but… but… I don’t want to be the cause of it.”
“Sooooo, what?” Scootaloo said. “You’re going to… Start avoiding him? So you don’t hurt him?”
“I don’t know…” Sweetie Belle replied. “Maybe…” she added sadly as her ears lowered.
Apple Bloom puffed out her lips into a sad pout.
Scootaloo turned towards Apple Bloom. “Apple Bloom, what’s something you keep around the farm that’s like… really heavy and dense?”
“What? Like a bag of dirt?”
“Why, Swee—” Scootaloo turned towards Sweetie Belle then immediately turned back to Scootaloo. “Wait, you just keep around bags of dirt?”
“Well, yeah!” Apple Bloom said. “You need it all the time for planting stuff!”
“Right, fine,” Scootaloo turned back to Sweetie Belle and put on her best southern drawl. “Why, Sweetie Belle, yer beein denssir than uh bag fulla dirtt!”
Apple Bloom sighed and lowered her eyelids. “Really?”
“What? I was doing your sister!”
“She does not sound like that!”
Scootaloo thought for a moment. “Granny Smith?” she suggested.
Apple Bloom nodded her head side to side as she thought about this. “That’s fair.”
“… I don’t get it,” Sweetie Belle said.
“Well, mah sister’s accent is just not that thick, but Granny’s—”
“No, no, no!” Sweetie Belle interrupted. “How am I being dense?”
Scootaloo took a step forward. “You’re trying to not hurt Button by keeping away from him? You’ll… well, you’ll break his heart! And man… if you think any of us have seen him cry before…”
Apple Bloom shuddered. “Ah don’t even wanna imagine what that looks like.”
Sweetie Belle gave Scootaloo a look of surprise, obviously taken aback by that last comment.. “No… No… you don’t think…”
“…”
“… Do you?”
Scootaloo continued, “You’ll break his heart. You’ll break his mom’s heart, and then she’ll break your heart… With violence.”
Apple Bloom winced. “Yeah… she’s pretty scary when she’s mad.”
Scootaloo continued, “I mean, you two spend loads of time together! I’ve seen it! Apple Bloom’s seen it! If you like, like, li… ugh… If you care about Button you will not just stop hanging out with him!”
“You… you really think he’d miss me that much?”
Scootaloo nodded. “Sweetie Bag-o-dirt, Button just looks soooo happy when he’s around you! You’re not going to do him any favors by stopping that and I don’t think you’re doing yourself any favors either!”
“Yeah,” Apple Bloom chimed in. “Call me crazy, but you seem really happy when you’re around Button, too. Ah mean… if he didn’t make you feel good, why’d you go out of yer way to spend time with him and invite him to hang out with us all the time?”
Sweetie Belle paused thoughtfully. She slowly brought her head up, her eyes catching Canterlot Castle as they continued upwards. She kept looking up. Past the hills and up, up until her head was pointed as upwards as it possibly could.
It was the same blue sky that seemed to be over Ponyville on almost any given day. A sky she had been so accustomed to that she never gave it a second thought. Only now did she realize how perfect it really was. Perfect and serene. Like everything above her was working just like it should.
Slowly Sweetie Belle looked down at her friends with calmness she hadn’t displayed possibly ever. “I think… I think I’m in love with Button Mash.”
For a moment, nopony said anything.
“PFFFFT…AHAHAHAHAHA!”
But it was a short moment.
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo burst into cascades of laughter. Injuries forgotte,n they both fell to the ground and rolled around as the mirth poured from them.
“What-What’s so funny about that?!” Sweetie Belle demanded.
“Hahahahaha… Sorry, Sweetie Belle! Hahahahaha!” Apple Bloom said.
“Hahahaha… Yeah… hehehehe… But! BUT…HAHAHAHA! It’s just SOOOO obvious!”
Sweetie Belle glared as she puffed out now red cheeks, very much making her look like a miniature version of her sister being angry. “Well… Well… Why didn’t anyone tell me that?”
Apple Bloom and Scootaloo stopped rolling on the ground and laughing. From their backs they exchanged another glance.
“Pretty sure we tried!” Apple Bloom said.
“Yeah… like a million times!” Scootaloo added.
“Ah mean… maybe we didn’t use those words specifically but…”
“There was effort on our part and a lot of it!” Scootaloo got back to her hooves. “I mean… we were pretty close to just holding you down and screaming that you needed to admit that.”
Sweetie Belle winced. “Was it really that bad?”
Apple Bloom also got to her feet. “There’s a scroll in my room Ah need to just burn at this point ‘cause it detailed doing exactly what Scoots just said.”
Scootaloo nodded. “We even marked a date on the calendar and everything!”
“Okay… okay…” Sweetie Belle took another deep breath and calmly looked at her friends once again. “Just… what the heck do I dooooooooooo?!” She moaned, her calm expression abandoning her almost immediately.
Apple Bloom gave Sweetie Belle a knowing smile. “Ah don’t think you need us to tell ya that.”
“Okay, fine!” Sweetie Belle huffed out. “I’ll… I’ll tell Button!”
“OH THANK CELESTIA!” Scootaloo exclaimed.
Panic stricken, Sweetie Belle continued, “But what if he doesn’t feel the same way?!”
“GHAH! WHAT THE HAY, CELESTIA?!”
Apple Bloom rolled her eyes. “She can’t hear you, Scootaloo.”
Scootaloo angrily pointed at Canterlot Castle, far off in the distance of the hills that surrounded Ponyville. “She might!”
Apple Bloom turned towards Sweetie Belle and gave her a warm smile. “Look… Ah don’t wanna put words in Button’s mouth, but yer probably fine. But like… Well… somethings are worth the risk, you know?”
“You… you think?” Sweetie Belle asked as small droplets of water began to form at the bottom of her shimmering emerald irises.
Scootaloo nodded and smiled. “Yeah! If anyone know that, it’s us! I mean… how many times have we tried to get our cutie marks? Sometimes you just have to go for it!”
Sweetie Belle began to sniffle. “Ye…yeah…?”
“Uh-huh!” Apple Bloom said. “And on the off, off… very off chance Button doesn’t feel the same way about you—”
“We’re talking off the planet,” Scootaloo said.
“—we’ll always be there to make things better.”
Sweetie Belle sniffed once. Sniffed again. Then let out a torrent of tears as she dove forward and wrapped her forelegs around her friends’ necks. “WhouaaaaAAAAAAAAAHOUAAAAAAAHOUAAAAA! YOU TWO ARE THE BEST!”
Apple Bloom smiled and returned the embrace.
Scootaloo did likewise with a grin. “Yeah, we know. Now don’t spend all day hugging us. It’s Button you should be hugging…” Scootaloo and Apple Bloom broke the embrace long enough to look at Sweetie Belle.
She was a blubbering mess of bloodshot eyes, tear-soaked cheeks, and scorch marks on her dirty white coat.
“TOMORROW!” Scootaloo said hastily. “You know… after you’ve had time to think about what you want to say… andgetcleanedup…” she murmured.
“Why Scootaloo,” Apple Bloom said, “what a downright sensible thing to say!”
“That’s me, alright!” Scootaloo said. “Miss Sensible!”
Sweetie Belle lowered herself back onto all four hooves. With another sniff, she dragged a foreleg across her nose. “The-Thanks you two… I’m going to go home now and think about what I’ll say to Button.”
“Well that sounds like a brilliant idea!” Apple Bloom said.
“Yep!” Scootaloo added. “Just think about it…andseriouslycleanyourselfup… and Button will be yours before you know it!”
Sweetie Belle giggled sweetly. “Thanks again!” She turned and began to gallop off. “Bye, you two!”
“Bye-bye!” Apple Bloom said with a wave.
“Catch ya later!” Scootaloo shouted.
The two fillies watched Sweetie Belle gallop back to town. Apple Bloom leaned closer to Scootaloo. “Think she’ll actually do it?”
Scootaloo winced. “Don’t jinx it! If you talk like that, they’re likely to be interrupted by some like… terrible space wolverine or something!”
“Okay, okay! But… really… do you think she’ll do it?”
Scootaloo smiled. “Sweetie Belle? Yeah… I think she’s made her mind up on this one…” Scootaloo frowned. “There’s just one thing that worries me.”
“What’s that?” Apple Bloom asked.
“Button and Sweetie… together… I mean… those two are going to have some just totally weird, messed up kids someday!”
Apple Bloom shot Scootaloo a surprised look for a moment, then burst into laughter. “Ahahahaha… Yeah! No, doubt…” she grinned. “But they’ll have their mom’s friends to help straighten them out.”
Scootaloo chuckled and nodded. “Yeah. I guess they will.”