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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Sir, you...you...let me just say you failed horrendously at writing adequate, realistic rape. Please take a spoonful of reality before you try again! Because all it looked like to me was consensual sex! Oh, and your OC is not interesting in the slightest, there's no reason for the rape other than 'it happens,' and you really need an editor.
For a fucking rapist, he sure talks a lot.
Also this is really terrible.
Just...
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Your story disgusts me.
5235696 Thanks for the advice. Have you any suggestions on where I can learn and improve on writing more realistically on such stories?
5239403 For topics like this, I'd suggest reading a whole plethora of different rape fanfictions--both good and bad, so you know the ups and downs. Then hit stories that are really good on 'show, don't tell,' since these works are too telly. Finally, read about every story you can find that has an OC character--again, to learn what to do and what not to do.
I could honestly go on and on here. Sorry for snapping like a firecracker earlier, I was just really enraged is all. :/
5239427 It's alright. I never wrote anything like these before, so having bad reviews is mostly expected. These used to be on HF, then a comment said I should put it here on FIMF... and the rest is history...
Some lessons need to be learnt the hard way, or as tvtropes put it, some anvils need to be dropped.
Thanks for being willing to offer sound advice. I will try to find some quality ones, unless you have a few you would like to recommend?
5239470 There's so much good and bad (what to do and what not to do, respectively) I've no idea where the hell to even start.
Also, what's this, if you mind telling me?
5239481 H*ntai Foundry (not sure if this site has some sort of auto-censor for certain words/phrases, so I thought I played it safe by replacing replacing the 'e' with '*')
5239509 Ah, okay.
He keeps referring to them as "beauty's." What is this, talk like a pirate day?
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5243523 I will keep that in mind. Thanks. Any other advice on how I can improve?
5246388
Slow down. You move too fast. You've got to make the rape scene last.
I'd rather read three well-paced clopfics as opposed to six rushed stories.
5247403 I see. I'll keep that in mind, thanks.
Can you recommend any good stories of this genre?
5250902
Some of my favorite writers on this site who specialize in dark, twisted tales include Togashi, Flutterwhy4 and SoulHook.
5250939 Thx
I did a thing
Nice, uh, cutoff on the cover picture there.