They say the sea's a harsh mistress. Well, I can tell ya it ain't no mistress. It's a demon. A great blue monster that steals everythin'. You ain't gonna find anythin' out there cept' a cold, lonely end.
They say the sea's a harsh mistress. Well, I can tell ya it ain't no mistress. It's a demon. A great blue monster that steals everythin'. You ain't gonna find anythin' out there cept' a cold, lonely end. Don't say I didn't warn ya...
A grizzled, old earth pony relates his tale of woe to random passerby. A tale fraught with tragedy and disaster, fear and isolation. A tale inexplicably linked to a mysterious event fifty years ago, when the S.S. Ironside was lost at sea. He claims to be the only remaining survivor, but the story he tells defies all reason. Are they just the ramblings of a senile old pony, or is there some terrifying truth to what he says?
“Ugh, is this really the only place to get some grub around here?”
Wander around she said. See the sights she said. Never mind the fact that I was hungry an hour ago and I'm still hungry now. Only place around here that's still open is this seedy lookin' salt bar. Ah, whatever...maybe I can snack on some pretzels or something till' I can get a real meal. Maybe get a drink.
*creeeak*
The door opened with one of those loud and obnoxious creaks, like somepony poured salt water all over the hinges. Sheesh, even the floorboards feel brittle and used, like they're gonna give way any second. Feels like I stepped right into a mafia hideout.
“Hey, does this place serve any...uh.”
I'm starting to have second thoughts. Aside from the dust, cobwebs, and rotted wood, there were only two other ponies here; a beige unicorn was working the bar, while a customer sat in front of him looking like he was gonna fall over any second now. The bartender was wearing an apron covered in stains, which had a notepad stuffed into it's lapel. His black mane was slicked back with some cheap hair gel, and he was giving his single customer a stink eye. The other guy looked like a complete mess. He must've been like, sixty or seventy years old. His gray coat was all faded and wrinkled, and there were only a few stray threads of hair left in his mane. His right foreleg was wrapped around a wooden mug, no doubt filled with the strongest booze this place has. What really got me though was his right hindquarter...or lack of it, anyway. He had a peg leg. And considering his cutie mark was an anchor, all he needed was an eyepatch and he'd look like any token pirate. An old and busted one, anyway.
“Hey, how're ya doin'?! Welcome to the Baltimare Watering Hole, the hottest place for great eats, and the coolest place for a mug of cider! Pull up a stool, stay awhile!”
“U-uh, yeah...” Best place, huh? Can't imagine what all the other places to eat look like around here. “You have any soup? Kinda in the mood for something easy to digest.”
“Yep! We've got a special on vegetable minestrone, only four bits!”
That sounds pretty good. And he seems nice, I wouldn't wanna look like a jerk. “Yeah, sure, I'll take that...”
I pulled up a stool two seats away from the old guy. Last thing I wanted to hear was some drunken ramblings during my meal. The bartender disappeared behind a door on the far left, showing up again behind the window above the liquor shelf. Contrary to what this place looked like, he seemed pretty content with himself while he worked back there. Then again, maybe the guy should invest in some renovations...
“...hey, sonny.”
Aw man. Should've sat at the far end of the bar. He sounded just as creaky as that door, like he was trying to get his voice to work after not using it for years. My eyes wandered over, followed by a slight turn of my head. The old coot was looking right at me, his yellow eyes looking straight into mine.
“U-uh, yeah?”
“What's a tourist like you doin' in some dank salt bar so late at night?”
Ya know, if I wasn't so hungry, I'd be asking myself the same question. “N-nothing special, I just need a bite to eat is all...”
I saw him eying my cutie mark. (Sigh), here it comes...
“You supposed to be some kinda sailor?”
Why does everypony I meet make that mistake? “U-uh, no...I know it's a wave, but that's because I'm a marine biologist. My name's Audiosurf.”
As I was looking at him, I noticed a nervous twitch in his jaw. I saw the corner of his mouth crease a bit before he introduced himself. “...call me Briney.”
“...oh.” Please stop talking to me. You're weird. Like, really weird. And you're creepin' me out too.
“Hey you old fart! You aren't scarin' away my customers with that ridiculous story again, are ya?!”
The bartender – or should I say cook right now – yelled at him from the window, hefting a cleaver in front of him with levitation. Apparently this wasn't anything new.
“Don't ya sass me Bojangles! I'm tryin' to stop ponies from doin' somethin' stupid! Even in my sleep I can still see my pals gettin' dragged down with the Ironside!”
Wait. Did this senile old codger say what I think he said?
“Ugh, for the last time, my name's not Bojangles! It's Jager Bomb! How many times do I gotta - ”
“Um, excuse me! It's...okay! I'm sure he's just trying to be friendly, that's all!” Had to diffuse the situation. This guy said something about the Ironside, and I gotta know what he meant.
“Alright, alright. But lemme give you a word of advice!” He was looking at me now. “Don't believe anything this pony says, alright? He calls himself a sailor, but he's only been out to sea once in his whole life!”
“Feh! I'm more of a sailor that any a' you greenhorns! All you young'uns don't know nothin'!” He took a rather large drink from his mug, reeling back in his stool and slamming the thing down on the counter. Was kind of surprised when it didn't smash into splinters.
“Uh, so, Mr. Briney...you said something about the Ironside? Like, the S.S. Ironside?”
“Haaa?” He craned his head at me with a squinted eye. Could've sworn I heard his neck creak too.
“What's it to you?!”
I raised a hoof, trying to look as forthcoming as possible. “I-I don't mean to be rude or anything! It's just the research team I'm a part of has been trying to locate the S.S. Ironside for several months now, and...”
“...you won't find it. Not in this lifetime.”
He grasped the mug in his hooves, looking into it with tired eyes. Those last words came out just as old and lethargic as he looked. Nothing like how he'd been sounding so far. I breathed out a bit and got up, taking the stool next to him.
“Can you tell me what you know about the Ironside?”
He winced automatically at the question. “U-uh, only if it's okay with you! I'm not trying to pry or anything. W-whatever happened must have been painful, what with the ship disappearing without a trace like that, and...we're only trying to solve an age old mystery, and...”
There I go again. Rambling and stumbling over my words like a dancer with four left hooves.
“No, no, it's fine sonny. It's the reason why I keep comin' back to this hole in the wall. Everypony needs to know what happened on that day...”
I leaned forward, crossing my hooves in front of me on the counter. There was no telling how long I was going to be here, so I tried to get as comfortable as possible in this brittle stool. “Then, if you please...I'd like to hear what you know.”
- Eighty Miles off the Coast of Baltimare, 1:31 pm Fifty Years Ago
This was supposed to be my day. The day when I finally went out to sea to start my life's dream. Sure, it was just some boring courier job, but whatever! Sailing the high seas is who I am! The taste of salt in the wind, the rough waves, the sense of companionship from my fellow sailors, it's all I've ever wanted!
“Hurry it up gang! You're not getting paid to just pussy hoof around!”
And I can't even enjoy a lick of it. This isn't what I had in mind at all. My boss is a total square, this dinky ship is a joke, and everypony else lazes around here doing nothing but staring at the sky and playing bridge! Where's the adventure, where's the romance?! Instead all I've been doing is mopping up the deck all morning with this mop handle in my teeth...
“C'mon Briney, you can do better than that, can't ya?! Put your back into it, scrub those barnacles!”
I spit the stupid thing out of my mouth, letting it clatter to the floor. I wanted to toss it overboard, but that would probably get me fired. I'm still on probation and all.
“Aw gee whiz man, I told you to stop calling me that! Didn't ya hear me when I told you my name was - ”
“If ya got time to talk, ya got time to mop! Ain't that right, pal-sy?! Hey you! Don't be such a slouch, get your flank movin'!”
I was thankful he wasn't hassling me anymore, but the sound of him trying to be buddy-buddy with everypony was just as annoying. I learned real fast that he was one of those kinds of bosses. The kind that barks orders all day long while wearing a fake smile, trying to look like he's pals with you. Yeah, fat chance. I'd rather jump overboard on down to nowheresville.
“Ah, don't let him get to ya Briney. We all learned to tune out the slob eventually.”
I turned around to see another one of my 'crewmates' playing solitaire on the deck with soggy cards, even with the ship rocking about. His playing partner must have wandered somewhere else.
“Ugh, how can all you louts act so lazy?! We're out sailing the high seas! Don't ya feel any kick from it?! Any pride?! I came aboard this boat because I wanted adventure, but you guys are all so...uhh...laid back!”
He didn't even bother looking at me when he talked, he just kept playing cards. “Think the word you're lookin' for is 'jaded'. And yeah, you're right. Nopony on the Ironside really gives a hoot about nothin'. All we do is show up for work and hope for a decent paycheck at the end of the week. Besides, you really think this tugboat's any place for adventure?”
He's got a point...when I heard the ship I was going to be employed on was called the S.S. Ironside, I was expecting somethin' as tough as nails, somethin' that's battered and worn, but still standin' tall like, oh I dunno, an iron wall. What I really ended up on was the smallest boat in the harbor...darn thing looked like a pooped out tuna compared to the other ships. I could already feel the other sailor ponies there jeering and sneering at me.
(“Well, I gotta start somewhere...even if it's the bottom of the barrel.”)
The deck was swabbed enough, so I trotted over to the utility closet and swung the door open to put the mop away. Got a little startled when one of the hinges broke and crumbled apart from rust, but I soon realized I should have expected it, all things considered. I'm startin' to wonder how this tub's still floatin'.
(Bleh, air feels kinda thick...wait, izzat a fog bank rollin' in? Looks pretty big too.”)
I went back to that solitaire pony, nearly tripping on a loose floorboard on the way. “Hey, where's the pegasus on duty? We got some fog rollin' in on the starboard bow.”
He took a second to place five of diamonds over a six before he even bothered responding. “Don't have one. Only guys we got here are earth ponies.”
“Huh – what?!” I wasn't sure if I should be angry or terrified. “Hey you yankin' my chain, pal?! That's a serious safety hazard! What happens when we run into a thunderstorm, or, or if the winds tear the mast apart?! Or how bout' that fog bank, huh?! We could hit somethin'!”
“Re-lax, Briney. We don't need a pegasus on board, nothin' ever happens out in these waters. All important nautical traffic's a few hundred miles north from here. Nopony ever bothers comin' out this far.”
Okay, this was gettin' ridiculous. Actually, we're waaay past ridiculous! How and why did I have to end up with the dumbest crew in the world?!
(“Alright, that's it! The second we get back to shore, I'm reportin' this! No way I'm gettin' stuck with these squares!”)
I found myself going back to the front of the ship to stare at that huge, white cloud of fog flooding in. The closer it got to us, the worse I was starting to feel. That guy told me I didn't have anything to worry about, but it's kinda hard to think that when you can't see your own hoof in front of your face. Maybe he was right though...I mean, I haven't seen another ship for over an hour now. I wouldn't bet on us hitting anything. But still...
(“...somethin' don't feel right...”)
The temperature dropped like five degrees the second we were covered in fog, making me shudder. Was that normal? I didn't think fog was supposed to be this cold. I started rubbing my elbow while staring into the cloud, not really sure what to think right now. Was this really how things were? I mean, I've always wanted to live out here on the high seas, but not like this. What if it wasn't any different on the other ships in the harbor?
(“No way man! It's my destiny to be out here, I'm not gonna let it get ruined!”)
So what if I'm at the bottom?! I'll just work my way to the top! I'll show the rest of these clods that I've got what it takes to be a real captain!
*KA-THUNK*
The deck tilted downward towards the port bow a little as the ship slammed into something on the opposite side. I nearly slipped on the wet wood, but managed to not embarrass myself. Nothin's out here, huh?! Shows what you all know!
“What's goin' on out here?! I nearly got soup all over me cause' of that!”
“I don't know, boss! That other ship came out of nowhere!”
(“Other ship? What other ship?! Even if these guys are lazy, you'd have to be blind and in a cave to...huh?”)
I wasn't expecting to see anything, but there it was. It's three masts were sticking up over the edge of the Ironside, clear as day. Well, as clear as things are gonna get in this fog. I trotted over to the railing to get a better look at it, feeling something in my throat. Really hope there wasn't a hole in the hull...
“...what the?”
Scratch that. Our ship wasn't the one that needed help. Here I thought this old pile of wood I'm on had seen better days, but that mess of a boat down there looked like melted swiss cheese. The dark brown wood it was made of was worn and rotted, even worse than ours. The sails were pulled in, but even from here I could tell they were full of holes. Planks were split and torn up all over its deck, and I think one of their masts was cracked at the base. But the thing that stood out the most, and the first thing anypony would notice, was the entire bow of the ship was smashed in. At first I thought it was our fault, but soon figured out that couldn't of been it. We hit them on the side, nowhere near the bow...so how was this thing still floating?
“Ladle...give us a ladle.”
Wait, was somepony down there too? Thought I heard a voice. I squinted, trying to see past the fog. It took a second, but I manged to spot a stallion down there. He was wearing a yellow raincoat with the hood pulled over his head. Either than that, I couldn't see what he looked like.
“A ladle. Please give us a ladle.”
What's he goin' on about? Doesn't that guy realize that he's got bigger problems than tryin' to eat some soup?! “Hey, you need help down there?! We're sorry for bumpin' into you! Gimme a sec' and I'll see what I can do about gettin' you back to shore!”
“Hey, what's the big idea ya mook?! Watch where ya goin'!”
“Yeah! Shove off! Get lost in a whirlpool or somethin'!”
I was gonna start galloping on towards my boss, but it looked like the rest of the ship's crew didn't take too kindly to bein' rammed into. Psh, too lazy to work, but not lazy enough to yell at somepony in a raincoat, huh?
*fwooohhhh...* “Give us...a ladle.”
A cold wind bit into my back, sending a chill down my spine. Where'd that come from? And why's that guy so obsessed with getting a ladle? Is he crazy?
“Give...us...a...ladle.”
*KRA-THOOOM*
A bolt of lightning came down right next us near the port bow, making me jump and fall forward on my face. What the heck was that all about?! I started to get up to shake off that scare, only to feel raindrops on my face. The drops turned into a drizzle when I got to my hooves, and turned into a full on downpour when I got back over to the railing. Dark clouds covered the sky, powerful winds started shaking our mast, and rolling waves shook the boat back and forth, forcing me to wrap my forelegs around the supports so I didn't fall again.
“Thunderstorm! Reel in the sails!”
No way this was just a coincidence! That pony in the raincoat must be a unicorn! He's conjuring this storm all because he wants a stupid spoon!
“Man, you really are nutso!”
Only one way to shut him up now. Last thing I'm lookin' for is to sink on my maiden voyage. I galloped past my scrambling crewmates and straight towards the galley, being careful not to slip on the wet deck. Ramming the door open, I immediately noticed a stock pot of soup spilled all over the floor, with a ladle laying right next to it. Good thing the boss was having this, since I wasn't too keen on goin' through all these drawers looking for the stupid thing. I snatched it up in my mouth the second another wave crashed into the ship, sending me flying into a closed pantry door and smashing it.
“Arrrgh – grrr!”
Can't scream out and let go of this thing...I gotta make that guy stop before it's too late! I waited a second until the floor was level again before galloping right back into the rain and over to the railing again. Turning my head to the side, I threw the ladle overboard in the general direction of the pony in the raincoat. If he was so desperate for a dumb ol' spoon, he'd catch it.
“There! I got your ladle! Now stop tryin' to sink us you crazy idiot!”
The ladle clattered and rolled in front of him, stopping at his hooves. His head lowered and he stared at it, but there was sign of the storm goin' away.
“Aw jeepers...I gave you what you wanted, man! Why won't you leave us - wha?”
I didn't care to look when this storm started, but apparently there was at least ten or so other ponies standing there on that ship, and all of em' were wearing the same raincoat with the hood pulled over. They were hiding in the fog the whole time. The ladle floated up in front of one of them as he raised his head towards me...and that's when I saw it. His face...dear Celestia, his FACE.
“Yeeessssss...”
He wasn't a unicorn. He didn't have a horn. He...he didn't even have eyes. All he had were black, empty sockets, dripping red like he was crying blood. His skin looked all wet and white and clammy and...rotted. His mouth was hanging open and dripping saliva, showing me all five of his teeth.
“No way...no way, man! That ship can't be what I think it is...!”
The ladle vibrated and blurred like a messed up photograph before it multiplied into at least a hundred more, spread out all over the side of their ship. I felt my knees buckle and my heart in my throat as each one of them slowly raised their heads towards me, their mouths creasing into a half-smile.
“...join us.”
“JOIN us.” “jOIn uSSS.”
“JOIn uus.”
Each and every single one of those ladles dunked into the sea like they were possessed and started scooping water into the Ironside. That flood of rain from the storm wasn't nothin' compared to this – it was like somepony took a firehose the size of the moon and started spraying me with it. I think I heard one of the guys screaming to get to the lifeboats, but by then it was already too late. Our ship took on too much water and split in half right from under my hooves. Nopony even had a chance to get to safety.
“We're goin' down! Abandon ship!”
“Boss, what do we do?! BOSS!!!”
“NOOO! Get offa ME!”
I tried to hold onto the railing, but the water was too strong. I was forced backwards right into the split. I couldn't see anything. I couldn't say anything. All I could hear was the rush of water and my crewmate's screams as they fell into the ocean. And all I could do as I fell was curl into a ball and hope I didn't hit my head. As I fell into the waiting waters, my eyes shot open. I didn't even care that the salt stung my eyes or that I couldn't see anything. The only thing I could feel was cold.
(“Gotta get above water! Gotta find something to – urk!”)
This wasn't the same as going to the beach. Something was different, wrong. I couldn't explain it, but it was like somepony was strangling me from the inside. I knew if I stayed down here even a second longer, I could die. So I pushed every muscle in my body and swam back to the surface, gasping for air and coughing up water the second I got above. There was no way I could hold out like this with the waves pushin' me around, so I grabbed onto the first thing I could find, not even knowing what it was. As I pulled my belly over the thing, I realized I was laying on a piece of the mast.
“W-what happened?!”
I looked around myself, desperate to find out what was going on. That other ship was gone, and so was the Ironside. All that was left was pieces of wood floating on the waves. How's that even possible?! I wasn't even down there for a minute!
*KOFF* “Briney! Briney, is that you?!”
I recognized that voice coming from behind me! It was the solitaire pony!
“Briney, you gotta help me! I-I can't swim! Don't let those freaks take me too!”
Looking back, I saw him desperately clinging to a plank of wood. He was breathing hard and his eyes darted back and forth over the waters like he was looking out for something. I could see him flailing and splashing around, doing everything he could to stay above water. How could that guy be a sailor and not know how to swim?!
Two of those ponies in yellow raincoats sprung up from underwater and grabbed his forelegs, hissing at him with toothless smiles. I felt another chill go down my spine as I laid there, watching him try to thrust them off.
“LEMME GO! LEAVE ME ALONE! N-NOOO!!!”
A third one came up and grabbed his neck, finally dragging him under. My limbs went prickly and limp. I felt my spine shuddering and shaking. I would've slipped off the mast if the waves didn't keep me awake.
“I...I could've saved him...”
But I didn't. I was too scared. And now there's nothing left but this mast.
- 211 Miles off the Coast of Baltimare Twelve Hours Later
How long have I been out here? It's gotten so dark, I can't see anything...the moon won't even come out from behind the clouds. Even if somepony came by, there's no way I'd be able to see them. Nopony's going to save me now, and there's nothing I can do.
(“...you drowned us. It's all your fault.”)
It doesn't even matter, either. Those creeps were able to sink the Ironside because I gave them what they wanted. Being alone out here is what I deserve. It's all my fault.
“I know that, okay, I-I KNOW that...just...just leave me alone.”
(“...it's all your fault. Your fault.”)
I can still hear them. The voices of my crewmates. I thought I was just my imagination, but they've been getting louder. And they haven't stopped. Why won't they just shut up...?!
“Stop it! Just stop it! Go away!”
(“...they're coming for you. You're next.”)
I'm so tired. I'm thirsty. My stomach's numb from lying on this mast forever. My legs are soggy and cold. The salt water is still stinging my eyes, and the voices in my head won't stop. They keep saying the same things over and over again. They keep saying how useless I am, that it's my fault they're all gone. I...I can even hear the boss and that solitaire pony in there too. They're telling me they're going to come back. Those raincoat freaks.
“Why'd they leave me alone...why is it I'm the only one left...?!”
The waves picked up again in the darkness, forcing me to clutch the mast even harder. I don't know how much longer I can keep this up. I'm shaking so hard now. I never thought the ocean was so cold and...terrifying. They're out there, they're watching me right now. They're waiting for me to slip even just a tiny bit so they can drag me to the bottom of the sea. Just like all the rest. Sea water splashed into my face and mouth, making me gag. I've been doing my best not to swallow any of it, but I still had to taste it. At this point my throat's gotten so dry and salty, it's only a matter of time till' I wouldn't even be able to yell out anymore.
“(pant)...(pant)...guys...I'm sorry...”
I didn't even learn their names. I thought they were just a bunch of squares. Well, maybe they were. But nopony deserved what happened to them. They still had lives back in Baltimare...but...not anymore. Did any of them have family? Friends? If I ever got back to dry land, would I have to tell them all what happened out here? Would anypony even believe me?
“I didn't even try...I didn't even care! I was just thinkin' about myself the entire time, and now...!”
It was too late. Too late to make friends, too late to make amends...too late to save anypony. I've...I've never hated being alone so much in my life. I think I'm going crazy. What was I thinking?! There I was, thinking I could become a great ship's captain, and I ended up killing everypony on board my maiden voyage! I don't even deserve this cutie mark for what I've done!
“I don't know what to do...somepony, anypony, please...help me...!”
I've been holding them back all this time, but I just couldn't do it anymore. My face felt the first bit of heat I've felt in hours as tears started to fall. Snot dripped down my nose and I gurgled with the most pathetic noise I've ever heard. I can't take this anymore. Somepony please find me, I don't wanna go! I don't want those monsters to get me!
“Nuh-no! NOOO! HEEELP! SOMEPONY HELP MEEEE!!!”
Nothing. There wasn't even an echo out here on the open waters. But I couldn't stop myself. I knew it was useless, but I couldn't stop screaming.
“I'm sorry, I don't wanna die! Please save – NOOO!”
They found me! It's got me! It's got my leg! It's cold, IT'S SO COLD! It's freezing me to the bone!
“Lemme go, please! LET ME GOOO!!!”
It was cold, and it was strong. It was gripping and crushing my leg like a vice. I tried to hold on to the mast as long as I could, but there was no way that piece of wood could keep me above water. One quick tug on my leg, and the mast rolled away from me as I was pulled beneath the water. I didn't wanna look down there...I didn't wanna see the monster that was going to drown me for what I've done. I could feel my last breath bubble out of my mouth before everything went black.
----
“That's the last thing I remember, sonny. When I came to, my leg had to be chopped off cuz' a frostbite. I've been sittin' here ever since. Warnin' anypony goin' out to sea about them monsters.”
The aftertaste from the minestrone was gone by the time he finished his story. What a story too. I mean, seriously, a mysterious ship that appears out of nowhere and sinks you with a soup ladle? That's absolutely ludicrous. And how about getting back to the mainland with no recollection or explanation?
“Feh, I can already tell that ya don't believe me. It don't surprise me, neither...nopony believed me then, and nopony'll believe me now...buncha yahoos thinkin' ya know everythin'...”
He took another gulp of his mug, looking into it with one eye closed when he realized it was empty.
“Hey, Bojangles! Top me off!”
The bartender turned to face him with a glare while he was cleaning a glass with a dirty cloth. “Alright, that's enough outta you! I think you've had yer fill for one night, Briney!”
The old pony slammed the mug down, “I'll tell you when I've – eh. Maybe you're right. I'll see ya tomorrow night, Bojangles...”
He scooted back in his stool and got up, the clacking of his peg leg getting further away. Thankfully. Sure, I was nice to him and all, but he never really stopped creeping me out.
“...hey. One last thing, sonny.”
Aw, jeez. What does he want now? “Uh, yeah?”
He looked straight at me with those twitchy, yellow eyes again, the tone of his voice as serious as ever. “They say the sea's a harsh mistress. Well, I can tell ya it ain't no mistress. It's a demon. A great blue monster that steals everythin'. You ain't gonna find anythin' out there cept' a cold, lonely end. Don't say I didn't warn ya...”
And with that, he pushed past the creaky door and out of sight, the sound of his peg leg eventually disappearing. I breathed a sigh of relief, grateful that he was gone. What was that all about, anyway? Guy says he was a survivor, but the S.S. Ironside had no recorded survivors. That's why it's a mystery as to how it vanished out at sea.
“See? What I tell ya? Guy's a real headcase, huh?”
I turned to look back at the bartender, his disposition completely different from a few seconds ago. His eyes had a pensive look in them as he stared at the door, and he was resting a foreleg on the counter. “Ah, what am I gonna do with ya, Briney...”
Ok, now I'm confused. “What brought this on? He seemed more like a pest to you than anything.”
“Oh, that. Yeah, I treat him like dirt a lot, but I can't help but worry about that old fart. After hearin' how bad he starts soundin' every time he tells that story a his, it makes me worry. Don't know how much of it is true, but he's always been a mess ever since he started comin' here. Somethin' happened to that guy, and it wasn't good.”
I can agree with you on that. “Well, thanks for the meal. I'm gonna head out now, I've got a lot of work to do in the morning.”
I set down my bits and stood up, eager to get out of this place. Jager Bomb's nice guy, it's just his place doesn't exactly seem...safe.
“Oh, wait a second! I got somethin' for ya!”
UGH, can't I get out of here and go back to normal civilization?! I've had enough of creepytown already! “U-um, yeah? What is it?”
His horn glowed with a levitation spell as he pulled up some weird, long object wrapped in a red and white polka dot handkerchief. “Just call it a good luck charm, alright? Preciate' ya stoppin' by!”
“Uh...thanks.” I took the thing in my teeth and stepped outside. Got about as far as the street before getting confused by his choice of gifts.
“...this some kinda joke?”
The thing inside the handkerchief was a ladle, nearly identical to the one he was using to serve me dinner. Only difference was that there was a huge, gaping hole in the bottom. What am I supposed to do with this?
“Hey, Jager Bomb! What's the idea of giving me this...oh.”
Looks like he closed up shop already. The lights were off and there was a dusty 'closed' sign on the door.
“Eh, it's not that important. Maybe I'll ask him...later?”
That's funny. I don't think that sign says what I think it says. I ended up walking back up the steps to dust the thing off with my hoof. Though I seriously wasn't expecting what it really said.
