Wings that wont return

by dimitri_dm

First published

When a well known pony makes a move, memories came into action. The story of Derpy Hooves, and the trouble she is in.

One day you find yourself thinking. Thinking of the choices in life. These moments can take forever. Well, you can say that a similar pony felt the same way. Related to a story I once read a couple of years ago. It reminds yourself of what you want and what you can do in your life. This story contains nothing else then rhymes. It is a touching story, and this is also my first story so I hope you'll enjoy it.

1 Your Final Flight

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Wings. Wings to show, and hide. To glide from mountains and to fly. Wings that will help you fly away, from all the memories and the pain. Remember the high altitude and don’t be afraid. Spreading them out show your sides, start flapping and make yourself rise. Rise from the ground, from the earth that you know, and from the plants that grow. You move up higher, away from the ground, away from the trouble that you’ve found.

Close your eyes and breathe. Then open your eyes and you will see. The endless skies, the beauty and light being cached in your eyes.

Light from the sun, the thoughts and questions why you run. Running away from your home, the place you came from.

“How did it come to this? Will this ever go away?”

Slowly but fine, lean forward and start to glide. Not too fast and not too steep. Relax for a moment but don’t fall asleep.

Feel the wind when you start to bail, over your body and your tail. You know what you did, and what you have done. Everyone knows it, they know why you run.

And it’s you that they blame, when the only thing you did was try in helping others, but ending up down the drain.

Slowly, tears start to rise, you know the claim, but you don’t know why.

“Is this the way how my life should go? Is this what I wanted to know?”

Once more you close your eyes. While trying to forget all the lies. Moving closer to the ground. Thinking of those feelings once you hit a cloud.

You see yourself, but twice as young.

“Look how I was back then, and look what I have become. Is this what I had in mind? The missing answers that I wanted to find?”

You start to open your eyes, seeing more tears rising by surprise.

“I’m sorry for my blames, sorry for all my troubles and complains.”

Saying those words, knowing your rhyme. This would be your final mission, this would be the last time you would fly.

For long enough, you knew how to thrive. How to handle the rest and how to survive. But every creature has it’s time, too find a moment, and flip the dime. Where it lands will mark their choice. But the answer is silent, you can’t hear the noise.

You awake from your dream by a clear and loud scream. Someone is calling your name, trying to get you to understand that there is and must be another way.

2 Regaining Strength

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You look up left and right, there was no pony in sight.

You hear a voice another time, “Please.” She said, but that wasn’t a helping sign.

Then you spin and see something small, someone who cares, and someone who doesn’t want you to fall. A purple blue unicorn filled with fear, standing strong, and ignoring the tears.

She shouts out: "You’re giving up to soon, think about the sun and not the moon. Please believe me when I say, there must be another way."

Those words strike into your head, as those words keep on repeating, you keep hearing what she said. Every second you come closer when you wait, it won’t take much longer and then it would be too late.

You start to wonder as she may be right, but she could be wrong, but just look at the strength and her care, this is something which can't be ignored.

You take a deep breath and you flap your wings.

“I need more time, more time to think."

Regaining the height and again you begin. You hear her shouting, yet again.

"Please don't end it please don't go, I care about you, I don’t want you to go."

The voice sounds loud, you are able to hear it through the cloud.

“Is this a sign, to hover still? To remind myself the want and will?”

More ponies now arrive, as the shouting could be heard from a mile. They all wonder what, and why. Why she is shouting, why she would cry.

Her cutie mark showing a gold looking ring, the symbol of love, care and understanding. They walk up to her, try to calm her down, but she uses her magic, to push ponies away from her, making them fall to the ground.

She protects herself with a shield, not wanting to get interrupted or healed.

She wants to save a life, she wants her to survive. Not wanting to use magic to get this done. As words are stronger than anything or anyone.

Knowing who is below, you wonder how this will go. Seeing the ponies who care.

“Is this normal or is this rare?”

The tears come and stay, there is still something in the way.

Another time she shouts.

“Please don’t fall. Please come down.”

Again you hear that sound, it’s so weird and strong. You stop falling and you hover in the air. She sees that you stops, she knows that there is still a chance, there is still a shot. She speaks up in a love like tone.

“You are smart, wise and strong, you can win over your fears, and it’s something you should not ignore. You don’t have to die, not at this age, not at this time. Please hover down and take my hoof.”

While she raises her hoof as a form of proof.

Slowly you hover down, you start to listen to what she said. Tears still coming down, you just hope that this is something you won’t regret.

Yu touch the ground, but you want to be alone, you don’t want any pony to be around. A flow of magic takes you by surprise, a purple bubble appears around you blocking ponies from trying to get inside.

You see her standing, her horn glowing bright.

You start to walk into her direction, and you are relieved seeing the bubble not staying behind. Now standing still, who will say the first word, who has the will? Who will be strong?

Then she smiles, while she tries to remove the tears from her eyes. She sits on the ground and slowly looks around. Then she opens her mouth, but you can’t hear a single sound.

You look confused but don’t say a thing, she reopens her mouth and starts again.

“I knew that you could survive, I don’t wanted you to already say goodbye.”

She stops and smiles. Now it’s your turn to be wise, still recovering from the words, and it takes a couple of tries and a lot of effort, but you open your mouth and say.

“I couldn’t find a better way. Knowing the moments in your life, making a stand and throwing the knife.”

She asks your name, and you reply.

“My name is Derpy, may I ask yours now that you know mine?”

She shies back and looks away, not wanting to look and making you aware that she has nothing to say.

You walk to her, and stand by her side. At first she was afraid, but slowly she looks and smiles.

“Sherrill. That name would be mine.”

Her voice was beautiful, clear and understandable.

You clear the tears from your eyes, and now you are also the one who smiles.

She stands up keeping her horn shine. She asks you to follow. Without question or without anything to bother.

It’s been an hour or 2 and you haven’t said anything, and she hasn’t said anything to you.

You arrive at from the looks of it, her home. All the ponies are no longer here. She shows a gentle smile and leads you inside.

Slowly, you walk inside, hearing the door being closed behind your eyes.

You look behind to see, and you start to wonder what the purpose of this could be.

She grabs your hoof and she stands aside.

You start to get worried but you are extremely tired.

She looks at your wings then you’re main.

“I could never let such a beautiful pony feel stress or pain. Don’t worry Derpy, you need some sleep. You can stay here, until everything that hurts is gone.”

You look up and say.

“I can’t thank you enough, without you I would’ve died.”

She smiles back and gives you a light hug. You let out a yawn, and you seem to have trouble stand up tall.

“You must be tired after all this mess. I’ll quickly setup a bed for you, and then you can have your well-deserved rest.”

3 Lightning Shows Fear

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You awake on the next day, only to find out that the sky was looking gray. By the looks of it it’s going to rain, you can feel it in your main. From the bed up to the door hearing hoof steps when walking over the floor.

You open the door and you look around, only to be confused as there was no other pony to be found.

The quietness makes you feel alone, and you start to wonder if there was any other pony at home. Hearth starting to bonk, fears starting to rise, only feeling stupid after seeing stairs on the other side.

You reach the stairs and start hearing noise, as if some pony was playing with toys.

“I wonder what that sound could be, I’ll just walk down stairs and then I will see.”

The stairs make a noise with every step you take.

“Gosh, those noises are annoying, just give me a break.”

You let out a quite sigh, and then you focus on the noise which was now very close by. Opening the door looking around, you quickly see Sherrill walking around.

She sees you appearing and starts to smile, and then it was silence just for a short while.

You break the silence as you start to speak, but you get interrupted by hearing a leak.

Sherrill smile quickly fades away, the rain has started, and was not going the right way.

You knew that Rainbow Dash was the one who to blame, but no matter what you tell she only things that you are lame.

Sherrill walk to you and grabs your hoof.

“I’m really sorry task, but would you like to help in fixing the roof?”

You don’t mind and you ask what to do.

“Fly up to the roof and look for the spot where the water is coming through.”

Those words freeze in your mind, hearing the word flying makes you want to cry. But you stay strong and you try to smile.

“Common Derpy be strong, this shouldn’t take a while.”

A half hour has passed but it’s finally repaired, and you enjoyed the moment that you two shared. Hovering to the ground, you shook up from the thunder which made loud hearing sound.

You see memories appearing in your mind, memories which have a dark behind. The memories start to spin around, and you fall over onto the ground.

Sherrill gasps and says your name, only being distracted by the weird feelings in your main. Those feelings which are running around, makes you shake and you make a weird sound.

Sherrill looks at you in fear, and already being able to drop a tear. She grabs you with her magic and tries to get you to rest, as she wouldn’t give up that easily, she would do her best.

After calming down for a while, you see her again with that smile. Still knowing that some pony who cares about your fears, and trying to do their best to make them disappear.

4 Thundering Truths

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The night lasted long, as the storm was still going on. Because of the storm, Derpy wasn’t able to rest, as the storm was keeping her awake on its best.

"This storm. It's strange, I haven't seen a storm before that lasted this long. It makes me worry as I'm not sure what in Equestrian is going on." Sherrill spoke out with a yawn. Even she wasn't able to get her rest. But she felt something strange, something hurting over again in her chest..

Storms like this rarely take place. But this wasn't the first long during storm which Derpy had to face. But most ponies would've been warned before. As pegasi would go around Ponyvile, from door to door. But Derpy didn't know a single thing about what was happening today, and Sherrill also seemed confused, and also she had nothing else to say.

Sherrill once more let out a loud and irritated sigh. She cursed to herself and then noticed the sound of a pony, a pony who was starting to cry.

"Derpy? Is everything alright?" Sherrill used her magic and turned on the light.

Derpy looked up, her hooves covering her eyes, she was about to speak, but was interrupted by a bright light, followed by a load cracking sound. This caused both, Derpy and Sherrill to jump, which made Derpy to fall back, and onto the ground.

Sherrill saw it happening, but her magic was too slow to catch her fall, but Derpy quickly recovered, and was still able to stand up tall. “Sherrill?” Derpy asked, in a shy tone.

“Don’t worry Derpy.” She replied. “You aren’t alone.”

“No.” Derpy answered with a worried expression on her face. “Do you know how I ended up here? Like, in this place?”

Sherrill looked back with confusion, not really understanding the current situation, nor able to respond to that question. She could only think it had to do with a lot of frustration.

“I might kno…” Sherrill wanted to say but got interrupted by Derpy which said: “All the moments, and the paths that were laid. It’s all combined to one specific answer, but I don’t know where it is, as it can be on a big mountain or deep under water. I couldn’t face it anymore, nor was I able to just let it go, as it’s something you just can’t ignore. I was assigned to do a simple task. To deliver mail, and there was nothing else that I had to ask. But not everypony liked my job, they called me useless, and a workless slob.”

“But Derpy.” Sherrill finally said. “That can’t be the reason why you don’t want to life, that can’t be the reason why you want to face the dead.”

“No it wasn’t.” Derpy replied with a sigh. She set down next to Sherrill and continued with her story.

“You see, these weren’t the things from which I had to be sorry. For the last weeks, I’ve been trying my best to make things better. Make things different, and trying to act in a good matter.”

Derpy took in a deep breath and slowly let it out. And for a split second she thought she heard a weird sounding shout. Sherrill still listening, not saying a word, or making a sound. She only started looking up and around.

“It’s been extremely hard for the last week.” Derpy continued and again started to speak. “It was the others who interrupted my way, they started ignoring me, they didn’t wanted to speak to me nor did they want to play. I didn’t knew why, or what I had done. And that is where I started to run. Not wanting to be part of the others anymore, but for some reason, I could think of thinks, thinks I’ve never seen or done before. And those memories didn’t go away, that was the moment I felt it burning, and I didn’t wanted to continue, I didn’t wanted to stay.”

Derpy shoved some tears from her eyes, and started looking down. She even ignred the light and noise from a loud and thundering sound.

Sherrill gave Derpy a nudge and then a hub. “Don’t think about it Derpy, just think of it as a small tiny bug.” Derpy moved back, away from Sherrill’s embrace. She wiped away her tears, and showed a tiny looking smile on her face.

“Sherrill, I don’t know what would’ve happened if you didn’t safe my live. I probably wasn’t able to make it nor was I able to survive.”

Sherrill put a hoof on Derpy’s mouth, and gave a sign to calm herself down. “It’s ok Derpy, just don’t think of it. You just need rest, not thinking of the past, and calm yourself down.”

They noticed outside, that the storm has faced away. “See.” Sherrill said with a smile. “Everything will be fine, It’s all going to be okay.”

Derpy nodded in agreement and moved back to her bed. And goodnight was the last thing which was said.

5 Seeing The Past

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“Derpy?” Sherrill gave Derpy a soft nudge so would wake from her slumber. Derpy eyes fluttered open, she yawned.

“What time is it?” Derpy finally asked once her eyes adjusted to the brightness of the rising sun, which steamed in from a nearby window. Sherrill chuckled softly.

“It’s almost 11 in the morning. Derpy, raised an eyebrow, stretched herself then jumped out of bed and landed on all four hooves.

“Come.” Sherrill pointed her front left hoof towards the door. “I think it’ been a while since you had a proper breakfast.” Derpy nodded happily and followed Sherrill to the kitchen.

The kitchen wasn’t big, but was good enough to fit the required utensils which a pony needed to make a good looking meal. The house was only designed for one pony, and didn’t use more space than there was needed. The house wasn’t that big, but it was big enough for one pony, it was cosy

Upon arrival in the kitchen, Derpy stared in wonder upon the feast laid before her ravenous eyes. It was groaning under the weight of waffles dusted with sugar, pancakes slavered in liberal amounts of honey and jam, fresh toast blanketed in wads of thick fresh butter and many other snacks that made Derpys mouth water thinking about them.

“Whoa” Derpy exclaimed, unable to contain her happiness. “That’s a bit extravagant for a simple breakfast.”

Sherrill giggled. “Well.” She started, while walking up to the table, where the waffle’s and pancakes where abundant. “Well we both haven’t eaten much in the past couple of days. So you aren’t the only one who needs an extra bit of food.” Sherrill’s horn glowed and two plates floated down from a shelf and landed softly on the table. She then let out a small yawn. She quickly covered her mouth with her hooves. “Sorry.” Sherrill giggled, embarrassed “I’ve been up for a bit longer then you I think” Derpy smiled and walked to the other side of the table, and sat her rump down on a chair.

After that Derpy, and Sherrill were too busy eating to have any sort of real conversation and so nothing was discussed until both had eaten their fill.

Sherrill then broke the long silence and asked: “Derpy, I’m not sure if this would be the best time to ask but, what made you” Sherrill hesitated, taking a deep breath and continued. “What made you want to end your life? How could you put all your friends through that just because some ponies were mean to you?

Derpy, froze, gathering her thoughts unsure of how to answer the question. She shook her head and long main, said: “It’s a long story.” “Remember what I said to you last night?” Sherrill nodded. “I said the last week was the hardest one?” Again Sherrill nodded, but stayed silent.

“Well, it started like this….”

**

“OK! I want everypony in line, RIGHT NOW!” Rainbow Dash shouted at her team. Quickly, a big group of pegasi slammed to the ground around her and formed a line. Derpy was the last one to join the line.

“Derpy.” Rainbow Dash barked, looking as if she was about to slap somepony in the face. This is the third time this week.

Derpy put her ears to her head wishing she was a unicorn so she could just vanish. “I’m sorry Rainbow Dash.” Rainbow Dash ignored her apology and said: “Sorry isn’t worth staying on this team Derpy Hooves. We are all depending on each other, and if one pony slacks behind, it delays the whole crew, you got that?”

Everypony looked at Derpy and then at Rainbow Dash. Some in shock some confused but most were just worried.

“I…” Derpy wanted to protest, only to be cut off by Rainbow Dash. “It’s not about you Derpy, it’s about everypony. There is no point making up new excuses every time you fail to perform.” Rainbow Dash looked at Derpy, as if she was about to attack her. She then turned around. “I think its best you leave.” Some ponies gasped, and looked on in disbelief. Seeing Rainbow Dash just saying these words was shocking.

“Rainbow Dash. You can’t just throw Derpy from our team, just because she’s slower than the rest of us?” A brown Pegasus with a black grey main hovered forward, moving herself a little closer to Rainbow Dash and Derpy.

Rainbow Dash spun around. “Ricky?” Rainbow Dash said in disbelieve. “You know our rules, and we will not tolerate any delays, no matter what the situation may be. Now you can either get back to your position, or do you also want to leave?” Rainbow Dash looked at Ricky. Ricky glanced at Derpy and sniffed. “I’m sorry Derpy” And he quickly moved back to his position.

“But….” Derpy tried to protest, but again was cut off by Rainbow Dash’s shouting. “No Derpy. We are already behind schedule, we can’t afford to be delayed any longer. Just leave with what little dignity you have left.”

Tears started filling Derpy’s eyes. And without protest, Derpy turned, spread her wings and flew away.

**

Derpy paused, and looked at Sherrill, which had been listening enraptured the entire time.

“I lost my job.” Derpy continued. “I wasn’t able to make any bits, and I was soon unable to afford to keep my own small house.” Sherrill gasped, and quickly put a hoof to her mouth. “I’m sorry to hear that.” Sherrill said, feeling stupid she asked the question in the first place. But it was already too late to go back now, and the question had been asked it required an answer.

Still. Sherrill wasn’t quite sure if that would be the reason for Derpy wanting to end her life. But as she was pondering this, Derpy continued. As if she was able to read Sherrill’s mind.

“So I lost my house and job, but…”

**

Derpy went from door to door, and every time she asked the same question. “Hello, I recently lost my job and house, may I be allowed to stay here for a few days, so I can find a place to start working again?” But every time she received the same answer. And the door was slammed in her face

And after seeing how angry Rainbow Dash was before she left, Derpy didn’t bother to ask any of her friends.

**

“I had no place to go.” Derpy said after finishing her story. “I started asking for bits, as if I was an invalid

“Derpy, it’s ok. It’s going to be ok.” Sherrill said to Derpy. “It’s not the first time.” Sherrill continued. “That I have seen a pony in this situation. I still was afraid that you wouldn’t listen to me, when I saw you racing towards the ground.” Tears threatening to appear, but Sherrill kept herself strong. “But, I didn’t gave up on you, I continued. And I succeeded.” She then stood up and walked to Derpy. “You are still here Derpy. And that’s important right now.” With that, Sherrill gave Derpy a soft nudge with her snout. And started to clean the detritus of their late and lamented meal.

6 An Unexpected Visit

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A few days had passed, Derpy was slowly recovering from her past experiences. Though she still thoughts back to that horrible day. She saw herself racing towards the ground plummeting from a high tower, unable to flap her wings as if, she were bound. Then Flashing through her mind strange memories of things she had never seen before, appearing in her mind at random intervals. But those memories faded away in to the dark recesses of her mind as quickly as they appeared.


Another knock reverberated through the house more akin to the sound of a cannon firing than the impact of flesh on wood , Sherrill slammed the book shut and looked up, startled, glanced around the room. She had been so focused on reading the book that she couldn’t be sure where the sound had originated from. After sweeping her eyes over the empty room once and noting the absence of anyone, she used her magic to find the right page in her book and was quickly drawn back into the thrill of reading.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK

Sherrill jumped to her hooves, her eyes focused on the front door. It was a much louder knock than before, and it managed to get somepony’s attention. Sherrill sighed and levitated the book she was reading to a nearby bookshelf. She then turned and walked towards the door.

Sherrill used her magic to open the door. A brown Pegasus with a flowing black grey main stood outside.

“Good afternoon miss” He said in a very gentle tone. “My name is Ricky Woods. And I’ve recently lost a good friend of mine. So I was wondering if you had seen her. Her name is Derpy, Derpy Hooves to be exact.”

Sherrill gasped in excitement. ‘This must be the pony Derpy was talking about, who had tried to defend her, during Rainbow Dash’s line-up session.’ She thought to herself. Then quickly pushed the door open, allowing Ricky to trot inside. “Yes, please come in” Sherrill said with a smile. Ricky smiled and cantered inside.

It didn’t take long for Sherrill to note Ricky’s cutie mark. A red blazing heart with a sword bisecting the center.

“I hope you don’t mind my visit.” Ricky began. “But I’ve been searching for her since was removed from the Ponyville’s pegasy team by Rainbow Dash. I haven’t seen her ever since, and she hasn’t been home for days either.” He then moved to a nearby windows and looked outside, as if he was waiting for another pony to arrive. He then continued. “I’ve been worried ever since she flew away.”

“Yes.” Sherrill confirmed. “I found Derpy a couple days ago, she was…” Sherrill froze again. Memories of that horrible day re-appearing in her mind undulating and forming dark patterns she hoped never to see again.

“Erm…. Miss?” Ricky turned his attention away from the window, and gazed upon Sherrill who seemed frozen in shock, she wasn’t moving a muscle. Sherrill shook her head, trying to forget the moments from her mind.

“I’m sorry.” She apologized. “It’s been a hard time for Derpy.”

Ricky looked up with confusion. “What do you mean?”

Sherrill took in a deep breath and began explaining about what happened on that day. How she was able to change Derpy’s mind. And why she was staying at Sherrill’s house.

Ricky, which had been listening the entire time was struck dumb. After Sherrill had finished her tale. She wiped away the tears gathering at the corner of her eyes and turned herself back to Ricky, who was still standing rooted spot, busy trying to process the entire story trying to comprehend the hardships Derpy had suffered through

“Ricky, are you feeling ok?” Sherrill asked in a worried tone. “Do you want me to……”

“Sherrill? Who are you speaking to?” Derpy, who had been in the shower the entire time, was now walking down stairs. She opened the door and entered the living room.

Derpy’s eyes widened at the sight of Ricky. She smiled and galloped towards him.

Ricky started in surprise but a tight hug brought himself back to reality. “Derpy, it’s so good to see you.” He said while trying to hold back his tears. Derpy took a step back and exclaimed: “it is so good to see you, what has been going this past week?”

Ricky took in a deep breath and started. “It’s been horrible actually.” He looked down, feeling uneasy, having difficulty finding his words. “After you left the team, the training started to become harder. Rainbow Dash sharpened the rules. And everypony has to work almost twice as hard.”

He paused and took in another deep breath. “But.” He continued, this time allowed himself to directly look towards Derpy. Showing a worried expression on his face as he continued. “After you left, Rainbow Dash ordered everypony to continue with their task, except me. Instead she said to me, that if she ever sees me ever attempting to go against her will, she’ll fire me as well.”

Derpy and Sherrill were surprised by Rainbow Dash’s behaviour towards the other ponies. This wasn’t how she would normally act, at least not towards her friends. No, something was wrong, Derpy was sure about it.

“But.” Ricky said. “I couldn’t take her rules any longer. And I didn’t feel like speaking to her either. So I decided to just fly away. She saw me flying away, and she shouted, asking what in equestria I was doing. I just shouted back that I had had enough of her rules. I then speeded off as fast as I could.”

Sherrill and Derpy looked at each other with confusion and disbelief. They then turned back to Ricky, who was feeling very uncomfortable. For a moment, it was completely silent, all 3 ponies kept staring at each other, unable to continue the conversation. Then Sherrill smiled and said softly. “Ricky, you can also stay here if you desire too, seems like you’ve come upon some hard times.

While they had been talking a storm had started to rage outside. “Great.” Sherrill sighed and stared outside the window, as if the storm would scare off by her looks. She then turned to Ricky. Who also seemed to be annoyed with the sudden weather change.

“I don’t mind if you don’t mind miss.” He said firmly.

“Please, call me Sherrill” Sherrill said with a smile, forgetting about the storm. “And no, I don’t mind at all, it would be a good idea for Derpy to have a good reliable friend close by as well.” She then turned to look, wondering what Derpy was thinking about her offer to Ricky.

Derpy was almost unable to contain her enthusiasm. She then looked back at Ricky.

“I can’t thank you enough Sherrill.” He said respectfully.

Sherrill smiled and looked at the clock. “Well, I’ll start working on dinner, Derpy can you help Ricky around in the mean time?”

Derpy, too happy to deny her request walked to Ricky and said: “Yes sure Sherrill. I’ll be taking care of him, just the way you took care of me.” Sherrill chuckled, and then walked to the kitchen.

“Come.” Derpy said. “You’ll be able to find your way around, in no time. I’ll give you the tour.” With that Derpy opened the door, which lead to the first floor of the house. And they quickly started their journey.

TO BE CONTINUED