> No Way Back
>  by Kalashnikitty
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

> Chapter 1: The offer
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

               	 			In all my time as a PMC, the thought of being shot into a portal never crossed my mind.

                Until a company known as the Institute of Dimensional Teleportation opens a portal to a world inhabited by small talking horses, which most people would tell you simply does not exist. 

                Newsflash: it does. And the guys that got to check it out were a special operations squad, from a Private Military Contracting Group, Underdog Contracting. The team was called Indigo Dolphin, a weird name for a group of exceptionally skilled people. However, an unfortunate turn of events left me stranded in this world, alone, with no backup, no way home, and a really weird job offer from a magical pony princess.




Seattle, Washington. April 18, 2020. 3:36 PM PST

                My phone rang while I was stopped at a red light. Caller ID said it was Bobby, our training supervisor and operations planner. He also ran the HR department. And also the armory. We were a small company.

I answered with, “What’s up Bobby?”

                “Hey Sarge. We got a mission for you.”

                “Alright, whaddya have?”

                “The Institute of Dimensional Teleportation has a bit of an... issue, regarding a recent test.”

My posture changed after hearing that company name. Underdog has had issues with them in the past, and they are never pretty.

                “Aw shit,” I said, preparing for the worst. “What’s the deal?”

Bobby laid it all out for me. One of their researchers had opened a portal to some strange-ass world, with “talking ponies” and “magical creatures” and other fanstasy-esque things.

                “So, what do they want us for?”

                “The story takes a turn for the less fortunate. After he opened this portal, he wanted to see where it led to. So, he just walks into it. No protection at all! He even left his issued gun behind!”

All IDT staff are issued with firearms, just in case something comes out of a portal that isn’t too fond of humans.

                “So?” I asked impatiently. It was like he didn't hear my question.

                “So he comes back about 30 minutes later, with torn clothes and a story to tell. Apparently, he was-“I heard some shuffling as he presumably looked over the report. “-attacked by some small talking horses- ponies, who shouted at him, demanding he tell them who he was, What he was and who sent him. He-supposedly-barely makes it away, returns to the portal, and attempts to close it.”

                “And?..”

                “It fails to close.”

                I exhaled, and said, “Of fucking course it doesn’t close.” How cliche.

                Bobby continued, “So he calls the in-house security force, and they have the quadrant put under lockdown. A short time after, they call us.”

                “Okay, but I still don’t see what they need us for.”

                “They want us-more specifically, you- to lead an expedition into the world.”

                I nearly laughed again, but held it in. “And why can’t they do it themselves?”

                “Because their team isn’t equipped for this kind of thing. Oh, and they’ll pay us 50 million for it.”

                My jaw dropped at the sound of that figure.

                “Holy shit dude… that’s a lot of cash…”

                “Yeah. How fast can you and Indigo be prepped for an expeditionary mission?

                “With that figure under our noses, about 15 minutes.” 

                “Good. I’ll see you in briefing.”



*   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   




Underdog Contracting HQ, just North of Seattle. 3:53 PM

                After flooring it the whole way to HQ, I jumped out of my car, sprinting to the main entrance.

As soon as I got inside the large, modern-esque lobby, my team, at the far end of the room, turned and waved me over.

                Houston, a short, ridiculously muscled Hispanic man shouted, “Yo man, it’s about time your ass showed up! We’ve been waiting for you for like, 10 whole minutes!”

                “Hey, I went as fast as I could! I went almost ten over the whole way!” I protested, a smile appearing on my face as I jogged over to where they stood.

                “Only ten over? That’s slow, Sergeant! You’re getting old!”

                “Just because my idea of fast is different than yours does not make me old!”

                “Whatever, oldie!”

                I sighed. Yep, this is what I dealt with.

                “Are we all here?” I inquired.

                A chorus of yesses arose from the collection of 5 standing impatiently in front of me.

                I had Houston, A tall, skinny and surprisingly enthusiastic man from Colorado named Xander, a mid-sized guy built stout from Ohio named Ethan, a tall woman from Utah named Ashley, and a Hulking mass of a man nicknamed Dingo, from Australia.

                “Well, then let’s gear up. Briefing in 10 minutes. Prep for an expedition, three days, woodland camouflage. Arm yourselves with whatever you want, but be reasonable. Move out.”

                The group broke, each member headed for their locker room. Since Indigo Dolphin was special operations, we got our own locker rooms, for each member of the team. I pushed the door open to mine, and began the process of equipping myself. Stripping out of my black BDU’s, I donned woodland camouflage, per Bobby’s recommendation. Next came the light plate carrier and belt, with extra mag pouches and a dropleg holster. I decided that a boonie hat would best suit the environment, so a woodland one went on my head. I slid a SIG Sauer P229 in .40 S&W into my holster, and slung a modified FN-FNC assault rifle with a neat little red dot sight mounted on it over my neck. Lastly came a backpack, with some extra magazines and basic camp stuff in it. Also on my vest were a couple M67 frags and a few smoke grenades. Other assorted gear was placed strategically on my vest or belt, ‘cause you never know what’ll happen. Same principle applied to the frag grenades. I finished gearing up and headed out.

Once again, my entire team was already at briefing, anxiously waiting for the mission details. A few moments later, Bobby showed up and began our briefing.

                “Alright guys, this mission is an expedition into a portal created by IDT.”

                The groaning that normally followed that name was silent this time; we were being paid the big bucks for this.

                “Your orders are to push through the portal, and head deeper into the world beyond. The mission is to last three days, upon which you will return to the portal and report your discoveries. The IDT will then decide whether to continue the expedition, or to cancel it then and there.”

                “What about hostiles?” asked Xander.

                “None confirmed, so watch your fire. Only fire if attacked. The natives are said to be unsure about humans, but may be persuaded to help or give information.”

                “What do the natives look like?” Asked Ashley.

                “Small quadrupeds, resembling horses. More accurately, ponies.”

                Dingo said, “What? I don’t fucking be-”

                “Believe it,” said Bobby, cutting him off, “Because it’s true.”

                “Is this some kind of Joke?” Asked Xander, also in somewhat disbelief.

                “If it was, I don’t think they’d be paying us so much. Now, if you look on your sheets you’ll see some extra information, drawn from the one eyewitness account, and speculation from IDT’s think tank.”

                “Do we know anything about the native culture?” Houston asked.

                Bobby shrugged. “Not really, but be careful. You don’t know what might hit a nerve.”

                All my team looked at each other uneasily, trading confused looks before shrugging and moving on. We were being paid a lot for this, so we didn’t care much about backstory.

                “So, we’re being paid 50 million to trapeze through some portal, walk around for three days, and come back? Piece of cake.” said Ethan.

                “Don’t forget about the natives. Don’t go shooting some poor soul that was just curious. We don’t know what they know about us, so be prepared to explain. We want to look friendly, not invasive.”

                Once again, my team looked at each other. We were all wearing combat vests and bandoliers, carrying assault rifles, and generally looked threatening. Ironic.

                “Once we get the green light, we move out.” Bobby stated.

                Almost as if on a cue, his phone rang. Annoying teenage pop music filled the room, as he fumbled with his phone, eventually shutting off the tone and raising it to his ear. After about 5 seconds of listening and a stout, “Yes sir!”, Bobby lowered his phone.

                “That’ll be the green light. Move out.”

                Well, that was quick.
> Chapter 2: Through the Tunnel
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Somewhere over the forests of Washington, April 18, 2020. 5:42 PM PST

                “Goddamn, this place gives me the creeps” Dingo stated, looking out from our chopper over the wooded area below.

                “Tell me about it,” said Ashley, “Good thing they keep it far, far away from civilization.”

                The IDT’s labs were about two hours away from the nearest town, by road, in a heavily forested area of Washington state. The labs were a collection of about 15 separate buildings, with lodging for its staff kept separate from the test sites. Overall, it took up about 2 square miles of space out here, with so many safety precautions that SEAL Team 6 couldn’t break in. Officially, the space was used for “Nuclear waste”, so the locals wouldn’t poke around.

                “We’re boots on the ground in about 3 Mikes,” I said, “The area we’re headed for is the far corner lab, by the northern perimeter. We’ll check in with the security force before entering the portal. Got it?”

                My team shouted various forms of “ok” and “understood”. We touched down in a clearing between some trees and a large, windowless building with the text LAB 04 in big bold letters above the entrance.  There were 5 security personnel standing about 10 feet away from a huge steel door on the side, presumably to guide us to the portal. As soon as everybody left the chopper, it immediately took off and headed back to our staging area.

                Another man walked out of Lab 04, wearing light blue security BDUs and greeted us.

                “Hello, Sergeant Kent, and welcome to IDT labs. I am Leonard Hapkins, Head of security. As you already know, we’ve had a bit of an accident.” He held out his right hand.

                “So I’ve been told,” I said, gripping his right hand in mine and shaking it. He had a surprisingly strong grip, for an IDT security head. “Where is this thing?” I asked.

                Motioning behind him, he said “Here at Lab 04. We have the entire place locked down, just in case something decides to come through. As we are unable to close the portal, we have decided to make the best of it, by sending an expedition through to see if keeping it open will become a threat, and for exploratory purposes.” I couldn't place his accent. It sounded like a mix of eastern European and middle-eastern.

                “Sounds reasonable.” I said. It didn’t sound reasonable at all, but I wasn’t going to ask questions, I was going to shut up and get paid.

                “Excellent. We will send you through in approximately 1 hour. Until then, feel free to visit our mess hall, or get some sleep. We’re not sure how much you’ll be getting in the portal, so I’d recommend resting.”

                “Thank you, Mr. Hapkins.” I said.

                He pointed out the mess hall and our temporary lodging, bid us luck, and went back inside the building.

                “I think I’ll get some food.” Said Xander

                “Seconded.” Dingo stated.

                “I think I’ll get some Z time,” Ashley said, “I didn’t get much last night”

                “I’ll go with you,” said Ethan, clearly just trying to spend more time with Ashley.

"You perv." Ashley jokingly muttered. They walked off, joking and talking, towards the mess hall, flanked by a pair of guards.

                Xander and Dingo headed over to the mess hall, also flanked, and I was left alone.

                Unlike the others, I wanted to get some more information, so I decided to go into Lab 04 and see what I could find out. the fifth man followed me as I walked towards the door.

                “Let me get that for you, sir” he said, swiping an access card through a reader. Hmm. That was easy… There was a soft beep and the door unlocked. I walked inside.

                There were people rushing everywhere, incessant talking, and a general sense of worry that hung over everything. The main area was large, about 60 feet high and 30 feet wide, with several heavy blast doors placed equidistant on opposing walls. Three of the 4 were open, but one was closed, with 2 security personnel guarding it. Only two men? I expected more.  I had a feeling that was our portal, so I walked up to the men guarding it.

                “Halt! State your business!” One shouted, stepping up to me with a hand on his rifle.

                “I’m a part of the expedition team, and I just want to see the portal before I enter it.”

                “No can do, buckwheat. No-one is allowed through this, no matter who you are. Not without special permission fr-“ he was cut off by Leonard Hapkins, appearing out of nowhere, walking right up to him and saying, “This man will be allowed entry, or you will be disallowed your position here. Do I make myself clear?”

                The guard shrunk, and slowly turned and undid the heavy security latch, opening the door.

                “Right this w-way, sir.” He squeaked, intimidated by Hapkin’s presence. Odd...

                I stepped through the door, with Hapkins close behind, and the door closed swiftly behind us with an ominous slam. The room ahead was large, with a door leading to a glass observation area to the right, and a steel pedestal with various wires and tubes leading away from a bright glow, emanating from the ground.

                “So, there’s your portal. Impressive, eh?” Hapkins said, with a slight smile.

                “Yeah, I guess,” I slowly said, a little wary of his tone.

                “You know, there’s something about this place that screams, ‘let me in’, don’t you think”

                Now I was full on unnerved, and I don't get unnerved easily. “Not really…” I glanced back at the closed door.

                “Well then, I guess you’ll just have to see for yourself,” he said, grabbing the back of my vest and easily shoving me towards the pedestal. With all my gear on, I weigh about 220lbs. He pushed me like I was a piece of paper on the wind.

                “What the fuck do you think you’re doing!?” I shouted, trying to draw my rifle up, but he was already upon me. He slugged me in the face, once, twice, and then I managed to shove him off. I attempted to draw my sidearm, but he drew his so quickly that it was as if it just appeared in his hands.

                Maybe it did just appear in his hands… Who is this fucker?

                “Mister Kent, please step onto the pedestal. Now!” he shouted, shaking the room.

                “Listen, Hapkins, we don’t have to do this.” I said, and noticed that his eyes were… green? What the fuck?

                “Yes, oh, yes we do, now step up before I put a bullet through your brain.”

                I did as I was asked, slowly stepping backwards onto the platform. I glanced over my shoulder at the swirling, green portal behind me. I looked back at Hapkins, still holding his pistol, and said “Look, there has got to be ano-“ I was cut off as Hapkins shifted his aim from my head to my chest, and fired, the force of his round knocking me back into the portal. 

                I screamed as I fell backwards, seeing green, then all I saw was blackness.
> Chapter 3: Stranger in a Strange Land
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Equestria, April 18, 2020. 7:30 PM, Unknown time zone

                 I fell flat on my back, onto some rather hard ground.

                It was very dark out, and trees surrounded me. I was in a clearing.

                I coughed, and looked up, into the portal, only to see it seemingly shrinking above. I tried to stand, but couldn’t, watching the last vestige of hope leave with the portal.

Fuck me.

After the portal was gone, all I could see were the stars above, seemingly peaceful. With that thought, I began to drift off, to slee-

                No, wait.

                Voices.

                Crunching of leaves under feet.

                I rolled onto one side, my previous thoughts vanishing. Landing on my back knocked the wind out of me, coupled with a  .45 to the chest. I quickly did a once over of my body, and found no obvious wounds. My sternum plate took it like a champ. As much as I wanted to get the hell out of here, I needed some time to recuperate, and be sure that nothing fell out in the portal. I did a silent inventory check, and everything was there. Then, the voices I heard earlier came back, louder this time, enough to make out words.

                “Here?” said a female voice.

                “Yeah, this is a great spot. Nopony is ever out here, makes it a great spot for…” 

                The male voice trailed off, but I was more confused about the words. No-pony? What the fuck? At least it was English, so a language barrier wouldn’t be a problem if I had to communicate.

                “Is that why you dragged me out here? Because you wanted to, to ‘get close’ with me?”

                “Well, maybe…”

                I heard some shuffling, and what sounded like a whinny, before I heard the female voice again.

                “Get off me!”

                “Hehe, now I got you cornered, and you aren’t going anywhere. I got a beautiful mare, all to myself…”

                At this point, I realized that I had just stumbled across a scene of horsey rape. Jesus Christ, fuck that shit!

                “Did you hear that?” the male voice said.

                “N-no. p-p-p-please l-let me g-go.” the female stuttered. 

                “Must be some enchantment. Heh, nice try, Snow.”

I realized I said that out loud, and silently cringed. Here I was, fancy special forces operative, stuck in some magic fairy-land, and I just said, “fuck that shit” out loud. Well, fuck.

        I slowly got to one knee, making almost zero noise, and looked around to locate the voices. I looked over to my left and about 35 meters away there were two brightly colored horses, no, ponies? with a blue colored one on top of a smaller orange one.  Even in the dark they stood out clear as day. I slowly moved over to a tree, still silent, to get a better look.

        They were both about knee height, maybe a bit taller, and about 5 feet from nose to tail with weird symbols on their flanks. The blue one had a picture of a sword on its, and the orange one had a hammer and a horseshoe. As the orange one struggled, the blue one was enjoying itself, laughing as orange tried to escape.

        “You’re staying right here, Snow, and you and I are gonna have a good time.”

        The blue one was the male, and the orange one, presumably named Snow, was obviously female.

        “P-p-please, no.” she squeaked.

        At this point, I decided enough was enough. Weird talking horses or not, this was a scene of rape, and I do not stand for that. I stepped out of my hiding place, raised my rifle, audibly snicked the safety off and said, “Freeze, dirtbag. Get off the…” I searched for the right word, “Mare. Do it now.”

        Really? Dirtbag? That’s the best you can come up with? How cliché.

        The blue one stopped his assault, and slowly stepped off.

        “And what kind of pony do you think you a-” he said, turning, before stopping and looking up at the sheer size of the thing in front of him. His face went pale and his mouth dropped open in surprise.

        “Do I look like a pony to you, Fucknugget? Lay on the ground with your han- uhh, hoofs above your head.”

        “Uhhh,” he said, unsure of me. “What are you gonna do if I don’t?” he said, regaining his confidence and adjusting his stance to a wider one.

        “Put a bullet through your head so fast that you’ll never even see it coming.”

        “The heck is a bullet?” he asked, his face twisting in confusion.

        In response, I shifted my aim between his forelegs and cranked off a round, sending dirt flying into his face and underbelly and freaking him the hell out. A huge orange and yellow flash erupted from the muzzle. The report echoed through the forest.

        “Celestia above! Please, don’t hurt me!” He said, instantly laying down and burying his face in between his outstretched legs.

        That’s one way to do it.

        Keeping my rifle on him, but putting the safety back on,  I moved over to where he was and dropped one knee onto his back. Hard. He groaned in pain, with 220 pounds of me on him. I didn’t let up. Rape is rape, no matter the species.

        “W-who are you?” the mare asked, also terrified.

        “I’m Sergeant John Kent of Underdog Contracting. And you? Are you alright?” I replied.

        “Y-yeah, just a bit shook… I’m Snowstorm, from Ponyville. This here is Vapor Wave, my coltfriend. Well, after this, ex-coltfriend.” She said, glaring at the form beneath me with adorable malice.

       Adorable malice? Woah, haven’t said that in… ever.

          I figured that “coltfriend” was the tiny talking pony version of boyfriend.

          “Vapor Wave? What kind of name is that?” I said.

          She looked at me in confusion. That seems to be the trend, recently.

“It’s a very normal name around here, but I guess that you’re not from around here, with a name like Jo-hne Ka-yen-t.” She sounded out my name like it was a foreign language.  “And what is Underdog Contracting?” She asked, suddenly curious.

“It’s my company, who I work for.”

“What do they do?”

“Listen, lady, we don’t have time for this right now. We need to find the nearest law enforcement and get this scumbag locked up.”

“Well, we don’t have a police force anymore, but we could give him to the royal guards in Ponyville. Or we could just let him go and make him promise not to do anything like that again.”

No police force? What the hell, portal.

Now was the time to make a decision. Do we let him go, and risk this happening again? Or do we turn him in? As I thought, I realized that I probably don’t want to go trapezing into a town of intelligent horses with one of their own held like a hostage. Probably wouldn’t be good for PR.

          I lifted my weight off of the blue horse, and he gasped in relief, rolling over onto his side.
"Owww..." he said, "How much do you weigh?"
"220. But that's not important right now, bub. Looks like today is your reprieve from the guy in the sky. I've decided to take your friend's advice. I'm gonna let you go. And I swear to the fucking lord that if you choose to attempt something like this again, I'll hunt you down and end you myself. Clear?"
He looked up at me, clearly terrified, and stammered "C-c-clear."
"Then get going." 
The stallion got up and took off down the road, seeming to ignore his previous pain. I turned to Snowstorm. 
"Now, what was this about a town?"
"Yeah, Ponyville. I live there. Where did you come from?"
"Some portal that I got shot into." I rubbed my eyes, suddenly tired. "I could really use some sleep..."
"Portal? That sounds like a Twilight thing."
"The Twilight Zone? That old TV show? No kidding."
"No, Twilight Sparkle. She's our resident Magic expert! What's TV?"
Magic? "Magic dosen't exist. It was science that did it."
"Maybe not where you're from, but here it's an everyday thing." She said, as if I should know this.
"Jesus, this place gets weirder and weirder."
I needed to get info, and this 'Twilight Sparkle' Snow kept talking about was a good shot. 
"Alright," I said. "Lets see this 'Twilight Sparkle'. Lead the way."
Snow stood up and started trotting down the path, the same way that Wave guy went. I started after, but then stopped. Turning around, I remembered that I fired a shot off. I searched to the right of the path for about 15 seconds and found the singular brass casing. It glinted in the moonlight, making it easy to spot. I picked it up, stuffing it into a pocket. Always police your brass, especially in a foreign environment. Then, I took the mag out of my rifle and replaced it with a fresh one. 30 + 1.
"You coming or not, Mister?" Snow called from down the path.
"Yeah, just a sec!" 
I got up and jogged down to where she was waiting and we started off, down the path. As we were walking, she began asking me questions. Things like: 
"Are you married?" 
"No, I'm single."
"What's that thing you scared Vapor with?"
"My gun."
"What's a gun?"
"Its a weapon from where I'm from, kinda like a really fast bow and arrow."
"Ohh I see! What's TV?" Sigh. It never ends.
She kept asking questions, nonstop. Most of my answers just gave way to more questions. The path was still leading through the forest, twisting and turning every which way. It was still dark, but there was just enough light to see the path ahead. A couple times I thought I saw hostiles, but it was just a squirrel or a rabbit or something, running away in fright. I wasn't exactly friendly-looking, and the shot earlier probably didn't help. I was glad that Snow had finally warmed up to me, and she was happily walking alongside, asking her questions and listening intently to my answers. Her huge green eyes looked up at me with curiosity.
After what felt like an eternity, we finally came upon a small, handwritten sign that read Ponyville, 2 miles. Snow pranced over to it and said with a toothy smile, "See, almost there!" In the distance I could see what looked like a really big tree, and a couple other high buildings, all brightly colored. The path became a cobblestone road, and a couple small houses were nearby. A stream ran by the left side of the road, and up the path a bit was a bridge leading to a little cottage. Streetlamps lit up the darkness, making it far easier to see.Seems nice enough.
We started walking again, and the uneven cobblestones were hell on my feet. 
"Hey, Snow?" I began. 
"Yes?"
"... Do I look threatening?"
She paused, looking me up and down, and after about 30 seconds, she said, "Nope! Not at all!"
"You sure?"
"Yep!"
"Okey Dokey." I obviously looked threatening, but gave her the benefit of the doubt. Maybe my garb wasn't threatening to them.
We kept walking down the path. It seemed completely deserted. Everything was closed down, and it almost felt abandoned. A couple times I saw huge eyes peeking out from closed shutters before quickly pulling back. 
"Where is everybody?" I inquired. 
"You mean, everypony?"
"Yeah. Sure. Whatever. Where are they?"
"I don't know... most people are still out at this time. Maybe Vapor talked about you and scared everyone. Same thing happened a while back with a zebra..."
"Didn't you say I don't look threatening?" I asked. 
"You don't! Well, at least not to me." 
I shook my head, sighing. "Where does Sparkle live?" 
Snow pointed to the big-ass tree in the middle of town. "There!" she replied cheerfully.
You have got to be kidding me... she lives in a fucking TREE?
After about 10 minutes, we arrived. Looking up close, it seemed much more inviting. There was a balcony and some windows, and on the side nearest to us there was a sign with a book and the words Golden Oak Library written in cursive. There were streetlamps all around, making it very well lit. The door was arched, and had a little candle picture on the front. Snow just trotted right up, raised a hoof and knocked, three times. About 2 minutes later, the door creaked open, and a mid-sized purple pony looked back at us. The symbol on her flank was a light purple six sided star surrounded by a few other white stars. That explains 'Sparkle'. Looking closer I could see a horn on her head.
Wait a minute.
Unicorn
This Sparkle character was a unicorn. What next, flying horses? That also explains the magic...
Anyways, She opened the door and in a shaky voice, asked "C-can I help you?" She was obviously terrified of me, trying not to look but still sneaking glances occasionally.. Snow launched into a story, about what happened, how I had saved her from getting sexually assaulted, how I really wasn't as scary as I looked, how nice I was, et cetera. I resisted the urge to say otherwise, I could be plenty scary, but held my tongue and waited patiently. After Snow was done, Sparkle seemed a bit more relaxed, a look of relief on her face. 
"You say you came through a portal?" She asked me, a look of curiosity on her face. 
"Yes, ma'am. That is correct."
She stroked her chin with a hoof. "Hmm, curious, do you mind if I study you for a few minutes?" She said. What?
"Um, Maybe later, but right now I'd like to figure out how to get home. Snow here said you were the resident magic expert. Can you help me get back to Earth?" 
"Earth? You mean that Mythical land where two legged, bipedal creatures called humans li-" She stopped mid- sentence, looking at me truly for the first time. Her pupils shrunk and her jaw dropped. 
"You-you-you're a r-r-real human?" She stumbled over her words. 
"I KNEW IT!" shouted Snow, jumping up and down with a look of extreme excitement on her face. "I knew you were a human!!!" Snow did a little 'happy dance' turning in circles and jumping about before looking at me with a grin. Sparkle finally snapped out of her stupor and looked up at me with a massive smile, before running behind me and trying to nudge me into the library. She was surprisingly strong, but still couldn't budge me. She gave up soon after.
"Come on, go in!" she said, barely able to contain her excitement.
I walked on in, of my own accord to a very cozy little room, that seemed to be cut out of the tree itself. Surprisingly, the room was tall enough for me to stand in. I didn't even hit my head on the door. There was a little table in the center of the room with some books laying haphazardly opened on it, and huge bookshelves towered over even me, a 6'3 human. There had to be hundreds of books around, in this one small room. A staircase led off to the right, up to a closed door. Candles flickered in holders along the walls, lighting the room brightly.
"Nice place" I drily commented. Sparkle ran about, presumably searching for a book or something. Snow ran about, awash in excitement. These ponies sure were excitable. I have got to stop saying 'excited'. I unslung my rifle and leaned it against a wall, then took my pack off and set it next to my rifle.
"Ah-ha! Found it!" Sparkle pulled down a old, dusty book from a top shelf with her teeth and scurried to the center table, pushing aside other books as she hurriedly opened the tome to a page in the middle of the book. I bent over, looking over her shoulder at the illustration of a naked male, in the classic Da Vinci pose, arms and legs out. She was reading a large block of text, and looking up at me occasionally, as if to confirm it. I shifted a bit, a little uncomfortable under her stares. Snow had tired herself out with all the running and was laying on her stomach on the ground, breathing heavily but still grinning wildly. 
"Ahem," Sparkle looked at me, blushing a little. "Mister Kent, was it- Can I call you John? I need you to, um..." She trailed off. 
"What?" I said, a blank look on my face. 
"Well, to confirm the facts in the book, I need you to, um..."
Trying to make a joke, I said, "What, you need me to strip down or something?" 
Her face turning an even darker shade of red, she said, "Y-yes, actually. But it's just to confirm the facts! I'm no Lyra, with her human romance stories. Oh, that reminds me, you may want to steer clear of a mint green unicorn with a harp cutie mark. She's, ahem, into, humans, if you know what I mean."
"I don't know how I feel about that.." I said. That would be like a human jerking off to horses. Beastiality. Not ok. And what the fuck is a 'cutie mark'? 
"Please, I just want to confirm the facts presented here! No more, No less." Sparkle was hiding behind her hooves now. 
"How about I look at the book and tell you whether it's right or not? Will that work?" I said, hoping to god that I wouldn't have to undress in front of talking ponies. But as I was taught back in ranger school, when in an unfamiliar environment, do what you can to fit in or gain local favor. I still didn't want to undress.
"Yes, yes, that should be fine," She said, looking away in embarrassment. I took the book, holding it up so I wouldn't have to kneel. Pretty standard biology textbook-esque drawings, and some info. However, I noticed something was wrong pretty damn quick. 
"Uh, Sparky, it says that humans will die if we don't eat meat. This is entirely untrue. Many humans are vegetarian, and don't eat meat at all."
"Huh? That's one of the most well established things about humans! You're telling me it's wrong?! And don't call me Sparky!" Sparkle said, giving me that same adorable malice look that I'd seen on Snow earlier.
"Yes, Twilight, that's what I'm telling you. You wanna believe your old book or the real thing?" I replied, looking her square in the eye, trying to recreate her look. 
"I'll have to write this down somewhere!" She exclaimed. I got the uncanny feeling that she was an academic type. Perusing the other information on the page, I saw a few other minor errors, but the book was surprisingly accurate. I pointed them out and she scribbled them down in a notebook, using her horn to counjure some weird aura around the book and pen, levitating them as she wrote. Woah, that's neat.
"Fascinating... You're a gold mine of information! I can do so much with this! I'll be famous!"  She said, ecstatic.
"Look, that sounds great and all, but what about getting me back home? Can you do that?" I asked, exasperated.
"Oh! Yes, I may be able to. It will take some time, though..."
"How much time?"
"Well, probably about... a week. Maybe two."
"A whole fucking week? What the hell am I supposed to do until then??!"
"I don't know, just hang around the town, talk to some ponies. I can offer you a room here if you'd like, free of charge. Plus, I don't think you have any money to begin with, do you?"
Nope. All I had was a few 20's, good 'ole USD. I shook my head in the negative. Snow piped up from across the room.
"He could stay at my place! I've got the room, and I don't get company very often."
"No, he should stay here, that way I can study him for further research!"
The two mares argued for a bit, going back and forth, before I cleared my throat.
"Why don't I pick where I want to stay?"
"Yeah, let him pick!" Snow said.
I didn't really feel like spending my time being poked and prodded by Twilight, so my choice was clear.
"I'll stay with Snow."
She smiled widely and Sparkle scowled. 
"Fine. But I want you over every day, from two to four PM!" Twilight demanded.
"Sure. Not like I'll have much else to do."
Snow opened her mouth to say another word, but a hard pound at the door stopped her. I stepped back, a little nervous. Who's knocking at the door?
"I got it." Twilight walked over and opened the door before I could protest. 
Faster than the blink of an eye, I felt myself tackled at a high velocity onto the ground. My instincts kicked in, and I immediately drove a knee up into the form atop me, eliciting a yelp from it. The figure rolled off and stood, in a four legged wide stance, ready to fight. I slowly raised, coughing from the impact, and took a look at my assailant. A cyan pony, with magenta eyes and a rainbow colored mane, stood across from me, face in a snarl, wings out.
Wings?!

A pegasus. Jesus, could this day get any weirder.
> Chapter 4: Fitting in
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Why would you let this monster into your home, Twilight?! What the hay were you thinking?!"  
The rainbow-maned pegasus slowly began circling me as it spoke, looking for an opening. I followed suit, adrenaline pumping, ready to respond to anything it tried. I couldn't place its gender. Mare? Stallion? I didn't know. The voice suggested mare, but the body said otherwise. Muscle ran up and down its body, suggesting a hard workout regime rivaling mine. I wasn't going to play nice, cause I'd already been hit once, and I sure as fuck didn't want to be hit again.
"Rainbow? What are you doing?" Twilight said, confused at its sudden appearance. Rainbow? These names...
"Keeping you safe! Why didn't you stop it when it came in!? It's ...dangerous " The pegasus was irritated, and angry. That doesn't mix well.
It suddenly made a move, lunging forward at a blistering speed, almost too fast for me to react. Almost. Two hooves came sailing towards my lower body, but I dropped my stance, using both palms to sideswipe the lunge, and moving to the right as it flew past, into a bookshelf. 	
*CRACK!* 
Most of the books toppled to the floor, over the pegasus, but it shook them off and turned, angry.
"Oh, now you're asking for it," It said, lunging again. Once more, I dropped my center of balance, but instead of sideswiping, I drove a brutal punch into its chest, with a lot of my weight behind it. I felt the blow reverberate up my arm. The pegasus stopped dead in its tracks, groaning in pain, stumbling back and gasping for breath. However, I didn't think any bones had been broken, and its look showed pure fury. Jesus Christ, I don't think even I could take a hit like that! Yet again,  it lunged, and again, I dropped my center of balance, ready to deflect another attack. But this time, it dived to the left, away from me. I whirled, trying to follow its movement, but suddenly felt my legs buckle at the knee. 
"You sneaky motherfuc-Ahh!"
I toppled to the ground, face first with the pegasus atop my back, punching me with its hooves. However, its punches hit nothing but my rear plate, and all I felt was the pressure. 
"What in Celestia's name are you made of!?" It screamed, hitting the hard steel plate. I groaned, rolling onto my left side, attempting to throw it off. However, it held fast, wrapping a foreleg around my neck as the other kept up the assault.
"Rainbow, stop! He's not dangerous! Leave him be!" Snow shouted. Uh, I beg to differ.
I struggled to my feet, not exactly easily with a pegasus assaulting my back and landing some blows on my head. Now that hurt. Not to mention the leg around my neck, threatening to cut off my air supply. I knew that if it could take a forceful punch to its chest, it could take what I was going to do next. Grasping the leg around my neck up high with my right hand, I suddenly dropped to one knee, using my left hand to assist in flipping the pegasus over my right shoulder. 
"What the ha-AHH!" The pegasus fell to the ground, and I landed atop it, Hard, using all my body weight to put down a considerable force and pin its forelegs under my crushing weight. 
"Agh! Get off of me!" It struggled, attempting to push me off and failing miserably. It was extremely strong, but not enough to budge me.
"John! Move out of the way!" Twilight shouted. I complied, quickly rolling off of the struggling pegasus. It was engulfed in a purple aura as soon as I was clear, and stopped moving entirely. Its eyes flicked around, wild. I stood, rubbing the back of my head and brushing dust off my clothes
"Twilight! Are you out of your mind?? I'm trying to save you!" it said, barely able to talk due to being unable to move.
"Rainbow, you are out of control! He has done nothing wrong! 
"He's a monster!"
"No, he saved me from getting raped by Vapor!" Snow said.
"What?? Vapor told me that he just appeared out of nowhere and attacked him!"
Twilight groaned loudly, face-hoofing. "Rainbow, he was lying. I've talked with John, he's innocent."
Rainbow was getting flustered. "O-o-oh yeah? Well then why did he attack me just now?"
"Simple. You attacked me. Self defense." I said, with a shrug. "You're lucky I didn't use this guy."
I patted my Sig Sauer, still in its holster. 
Finally, after multiple attempts to calm the technicolor pegasus, and Snow telling her side of the rape story, Rainbow agreed to refrain from murdering me. For now. She(?) stood, blowing a few strands of multicolored mane from her face. I noticed the symbol on her flank for the first time. It was a cloud with a rainbow lightening bolt streaking out of it.  Is everything about this pegasus rainbow colored?? 
"We cool?" I asked, tentatively.
"Yeah, I guess," She said, shrugging. "But we'll be having a rematch eventually. No-pony beats Rainbow Dash, the most awesome pegasus ever!"
I figured that was as close to an introduction as I would get. 
"And I'm John Kent. Most-coolest human around. Actually the only human around. Pleasure to make your acquaintance, uhm, Rainbow Dash."
"Yeah, sure," She said. I'm pretty sure its a 'she'. "I gotta go do awesome stuff now, so, peace."
She trotted out the door, head held high, gave me one last cocky smirk, and took off into the night sky. I watched her go, kind of in awe, kind of in disdain. She seemed nice enough, in the 30 seconds that she wasn't trying to kill me. 
"Sorry about that, John. Rainbow is a bit protective. Element of loyalty and all."
"What? Nevermind, whatever. Can you tell me what the hell those symbols on your flanks are? Haven't been able to take my eyes off of them." I instantly regretted that sentence the second it came out of my mouth. Twilight looked at me, embarrassed, her cheeks burning red. She shuffled on her hoofs, uneasily.
"No, I, uh," I stuttered, probably also becoming very red. "I meant that I've been trying to decipher the meaning, not that I was, um, yeah..."
She looked at me for a moment longer, still embarrassed, then began giggling. I exhaled, glad she hadn't taken it the wrong way.
"Don't worry about it. I know what you mean. Anyways, those symbols are our cutie marks. They represent what we're good at, or our personality.  Most ponies get them relatively early on in life, usually after doing something abnormally well. Then, the mark will appear on their flank, representing said skill. Most ponies then make a living doing whatever their talent is." Twilight explained, a twinkle in her eyes.
'Cutie' marks? Did a 12 year old girl name everything here?
These marks seemed to be a central piece of the society and culture here. I asked about the government, the different types of pony that I had seen, the technology of the time, amongst other aspects of the culture and society. I found out much about the world that these sapient ponies inhabited, how it really wasn't that different from earth, aside from the magic and all. Ponies were essentially the humans of this world, being able to use their intelligence and their magic to conquer all other species. However, they hadn't had a true war in over 1000 years. After I heard that figure, my jaw dropped and my eyes widened. Damn.
"What? What's wrong?" Twilight asked, concerned.
"That is a really long time." I replied, in shock.
"When was your last war?" Twilight asked, interested. "I'm assuming that you have wars, you are a soldier after all."
"Well, the human race has essentially been in a perpetual state of war. We have wars popping up all of the god-damn time. There's so much politics that go into it that it's basically impossible to explain without having grown up with it."
Twilight's eyes fell, and her ears drooped. 
"That's... sad. Don't you have a government to prevent it? Why haven't they stepped in?" She said, suddenly angry.
I sighed. "Twilight, we have over 100 countries on Earth. There is no 'one government to rule them all', like there is here. Everyone is always fighting, taking land from other countries, other governments. It sounds sad, but it's just normal to us. Not saying that it isn't sad, but it's just life at this point."
"Humans are horrible." She said, reeling in shock.
"Yeah. We really are. Not all of us, but some days it feels like it. There are plenty of people who do good in the world, but not damn near enough of them." I gestured to myself.
Twilight sat down, still in shock. I sat as well, to not tower over her. My head was pounding from the few hits Rainbow had gotten in. Fuck, that still hurt. Twilight and I sat in silence for a while, before she looked over at me and spoke up.
"You know, I'm really glad that you talked to me about this. It must be hard living in a world of war. It's a good thing that you're so nice, too. When I first saw you at the door, I thought that we were being invaded or something. That's why I was so nervous earlier. But Snow proved that you were so much better, talking about how you saved her and all. It's good that the first human I met wasn't evil. The stories do say that humans are warmongers, and I never believed it, until just now, with what you've said. But it is good that you're not all that way." She smiled warmly, her ears perking up again.
"Thanks, Twilight. I appreciate it. Honestly, I didn't believe that a world like this existed until this morning, so I guess it's good that you're all so peaceful. It's refreshing." I smiled back.  We sat in silence once more.
Finally, Snow spoke again. 
"You know, I'm really getting tired. Let's go back to my place, eh? Get some sleep. It's late!"
I finally realized how tired I really was. My eyelids were having trouble keeping themselves open, and I could feel my movements slowing.
"Yeah, let's go." I stood, stretching and yawning. Twilight followed suit, though admittedly her display was more adorable than mine. These ponies... Snow headed towards the door, and I gathered my pack and rifle before Twilight stopped me.
"Hey, John? Can I..." She trailed off.
"What? Need something?" I said, turning away from the door to face her.
"Can I, um,  get a hug?" She said it so quietly it was barely audible. I blinked. Did she just ask me...? For a minute I was hesitant, but in the end decided that maybe it wasn't such a bad idea. Gotta fit in. I dropped to my knees, and wrapped my arms around her midsection. She followed suit, her forelegs tightly wrapping around my chest. Her fur was soft and warm, and her mane was silky smooth. We stayed like that for a couple seconds, before I pulled away. Fancy Special Forces, ladies and gents.
She smiled wide, before walking us to the the door and waving us out. That wasn't too bad. It had been almost 3 hours since my arrival at her doorstep. 
It looked like I had made another friend in this strange world. I smiled to myself. She was nice enough, I just hoped she didn't get into me. 
"You're lucky," Snow spoke. "Twilight only hugs ponies she really likes. As friends, of course." She grinned on the last part, catching my slight discomfort.
"Yeah, I'm not a pony, and I've only just met her. I feel special." I said, smirking.
"If you haven't noticed, you kinda are." 
She was right, I was probably the only human here. That does put me pretty high up on the 'special' list. The starry night was peaceful, the moon large and glowing. Wasn't there a princess that was trapped up there or something? Or was she released? Jesus, I don't remember. Snow guided me to her home, a little two storey shop/house about 2 blocks from Twilight's tree. On the front, there was a sign that showed a horseshoe and a hammer, the same as Snow's, ahem, cutie mark. It still felt cheesy saying that. I brought it up a moment later.
"So you do horseshoeing?" I asked, pointing to the sign.
"Yep! It's my talent. I'm the only one around from Canterlot to Appleloosa!" She said proudly, puffing out her chest in pride. 
"Neat. Make good money?"
"Enough to get by," She said, shrugging. "But it's not about that, I love doing it!"
Can't fault someone for doing something they love.
We walked in the front door, into the storefront. That part of the building consisted of a couple pony-sized chairs and some horseshoeing equipment, with a counter and a sign that listed off prices of services, like horseshoe replacements and other horsey things. We passed through, going up a set of stairs around a corner far behind the counter. Ascending, we reached a door leading into the house portion of the building. It was a cozy little living area, surprisingly large, tall enough for me to stand with a good foot of clearance. Opening the door, there was a couch and table in the center along with a fireplace up against the wall nearest us. A hall led off to the left, presumably to the bedrooms, and a small kitchen was situated near the back. Overall, it seemed very comfortable. Snow pointed down the hall to a door at the end.
"That's the guest room. There's a bed there, though I'm not sure if you'll fit..." She thought for a moment.
"Don't worry about it, I've got a sleeping bag." I said, patting my pack. She looked up, confused.
"What's a 'sleeping bag'?"
"It's like a portable bed. You crawl inside, and it keeps you warm while you sleep. It also gives you some padding to be at least relatively comfortable."
She looked at me in awe. "That sounds so fun! You'll have to let me try it sometime."
I laughed. "You'll have to get to know me better before that, Snowy."
"That's not what I meant!" She said, giggling. I yawned again, exhausted.
"Well, that about does it for today. Boy, have I had a long day... I'mma hit the sack. Night, Snow."
"Nighty night, Jo-hawn-eh!" She was still having trouble pronouncing my name. Cute. Grinning, I headed into the guest room. Sure enough, the bed was not human sized. I was so fuckin' tired, I didn't even strip out of my cammies. I just unfurled my bag, crawled in and crashed.

Ponyville, Equestria, Holic's Bar. April 21, 2020. 8:13 PM PST(Ponyville Standard Time)

Over the past three days, I had spent my time meeting new people- well, ponies, and also a dragon-, going around the town visiting new shops and stores, and helping anyone I could. I learned that there was a whole city chock-full of pegasi, called Cloudsdale, and that the two princesses that ran Equestria lived in a castle perched atop a mountain, similar to Minas Tirith, from the Lord of The Rings movies. I made Twilight promise to take me before I left. I noticed that I became increasingly relaxed, and started to feel myself becoming less Special Operations, more touristy. I still carried my pistol, out of habit. Just because there wasn't any violence didn't mean there wouldn't ever be. Most issues were resolved peacefully, though occasionally, there was a bit of a hoof-fight, or a couple unicorns fought with magic, but they were short and normally ended with both ponies walking away, happy with the outcome. The first few times I went out, either to visit new friends or just walking about, I was worried that most ponies would shy away from me. I couldn't have been more wrong. I was like a celebrity, people-err, ponies- coming up to say hi, marveling at my size, or just staring in awe. Once, while going out to ruck in the morning, I got so many of them around me that it was difficult to even move 10 feet without one asking for my autograph or something. Seems like they figured out that I wasn't a threat. I caught myself using 'somepony' more and more often, rather than someone. Although I was relaxed, I still trained hard. Every morning I went out for a ruck march with rocks in my backpack, walking the perimeter of the town, about 5 miles. My MP3 player still worked here, albeit with a bit more static than I was used to, so I'd listen to music as I rucked. Lemme tell you, the band Tool has excellent music for rucking. Really makes you motivated. And yes, call me old, but I still used an MP3 player I'd had since I was 16. I did basic calisthenics, and even found a place way out in the hills with a good barrier to shoot at. I had to talk to the mayor, though, to get approval and so I wouldn't get a visit from the Royal Guard. Speaking of Royal Guard, their little barracks in Ponyville was basically the police force around, and I made some good friends with some of them. We chatted about battle tactics, weapons, all sorts of things. They took care of ceremonies and dealing with the occasional rowdy animal, though mostly they were for show only.  I also managed to get Twilight to find a way to replenish my ammo, magically. All she needed was a live round, and she was able to duplicate new ones en masse, using some kind of cloning spell that she found in a dusty old book. Neat. I found myself calling the ponies 'cute' and 'adorable' more times than not, but it was hard not to when they come in all the colors of the rainbow, stand just above knee high, have eyes the size of dinner plates, and are essentially big teddy bears. I brought a small camera with me to take reconnaissance photos, but ended up just taking pictures around town like a tourist.  Another thing that was definitely a change was the food. No one ate meat, so I had to eat veggies and non-meat things. A little bit of a change, but I found that much of the food was absolutely delicious, and I ate very well. I did have MREs, which I ate for the first night, but after a taste of Snow's cooking, I didn't touch them again. 
There was something I was missing, however.
My team. 
My family.
I missed a lot about home.
I made a vow to shoot that goatfucker Hapkins when I got back. God, he pissed me off. I also planned on telling the team about Equestria; maybe I could return someday. Though, they would probably laugh at me, until I showed them the pictures I took. Although I missed home, I still liked it here. It was pleasant to be in a world without violence. It really calms one's mind. 
Of the many ponies I met and befriended, several stood out.
There was a earth mare named Applejack, who ran a farm called Sweet Apple Acres, out in the country about 2/3 miles from Ponyville. She was very similar to Rainbow Dash, though apparently they had quite the rivalry. I became good friends with her, as well as Rainbow. Applejack spoke in a deep southern drawl, and called me 'sugarcube', supposedly as a sign of affection, or when she was being cocky. I spent some time helping her out with picking apples and whatnot, though her method of bucking the trees until the apples fell was significantly more effective than my slow picking. However, I could easily lift more weight than she could, much to her annoyance. One morning she came out to ruck with me, but had trouble keeping pace. By the end, I was barely breathing hard, and she was bathed in sweat, despite working hard all day at a farm. I made endless fun of her for that. Her brother, Big McIntosh, affectionately known as 'Big Mac", was a massive earth stallion,  nearly as strong as I was, and normally communicated in simple "Eeyup" or "Nope" phrases. We also became good friends, hanging out on occasion, where I found out that his vocabulary didn't just consist of those two words. Shocking!
There was an extremely excitable earth mare named Pinkie Pie, who, I shit you not, was bright pink. She was the party master, anything fun, she either did it or knew someone who could. The second day in town, she threw me a massive party, with the whole town turning up. I learned that there was alcohol in Equestria, and proceeded to drink so much that I passed out at her place. Fortunately, I woke up, with a massive hangover, comfortably sleeping on a couch that was, surprisingly, human sized. These ponies made great liquor. 
There was a unicorn named Rarity, who ran the local boutique (Yes, they wear clothes. Not all the time, but occasionally), and was essentially the definition of elegance. She spoke like the Queen of England was always right next to her, but overall had a lighthearted and humorous attitude. Sometimes, I found myself reaching all the way back to high school English class to decipher what she was saying. She was obsessed with trying to make human sized clothes, too. Always loved a challenge.
I also met the Lyra that Twilight warned me about, who stared in awe for almost 5 minutes the first time she met me. Somehow, I also became good friends with her, but friendzoned her more than once. Good god, was she persistent though. And adorable. Then again, weren't they all? Still, I said no. 
Late the third night, I was hanging at the local bar, run by a pegasus named Alcho, last name Holic. Alcho Holic. Fitting that he ran the local bar. Earlier that evening I was out at my little pseudo-shooting range, showing Rainbow Dash and Applejack my gun drills and generally explaining what they were. The both were astounded by how loud they were, but thought that they were pretty damn cool. In Rainbow's words; "Those are so AWESOME! Sucks they don't come pony sized, though."
They both wanted to shoot, but considering they didn't have hands, I had to decline. 
"I can handle it, in mah mouth! C'mon Johnny, just lemme try!" Applejack pleaded. 
"Girl, this would break your teeth. There is no way I'm going to let you do that to yourself. Sorry, sugarcube" I replied.
"Pleeeease?"
She kept persisting. Eventually, after I proved to her how stout the recoil was by having her hold a hoof up and smacking it with a hand, she let up.
Anyways, I was having a cold glass of cider, made from apples straight from AJ's farm, sitting with her and Dash, laughing, joking, and having a good time. I think that because of our joking and laughing, we didn't hear the screams when they started. The bar was a loud place, and it was tough to hear anything, honestly. Rainbow's ears perked up, and her face became confused. 
"Hey... do you guys hear that?" She asked, a bit worried. I sensed the tone and straightened up.
"Hear what?" I asked.
"It sounds like, somepony screaming for help or something." She was beginning to show signs of terror, clearly scared. Everyone shut up, and only then did we finally hear it. Several ponies were screaming, like their lives depended on it. Then, there was a loud thump, as something slammed into the door to the bar. I stood and ran to the door, opening it to help whatever hit it. 
Laying there was a blue shape, a corpse. A pegasus, missing a wing, most of its head and bleeding from massive lacerations.

I felt my sense of security, my wall, come crashing down, my heart pumping, my eyes wide.

"Jesus fucking Christ..." I whispered, horrified.

Then, I heard it.
The inhuman screech that cut through the air like a hot knife. 

I looked out into the street, about fifty meters away, and saw a creature out of someones worst nightmare. A 12 foot tall bipedal thing, pale skin stretched over bones, body contorted into a shape that would drive lesser people insane by merely looking at it,  with two massive, clawed hands in the process of ripping a pegasus's guts out. The pony gave me one last horrified, pained look before he was completely eviscerated and discarded, added to a growing pile of bodies. It made a sickening slap as it hit the ground. The thing turned towards me.
My god...
Its face had a wide hole where the mouth should be, without any teeth at all. Just a gaping maw, for nothing other than producing a horrifying screech. Its eyes, or lack thereof, were just gaping sockets, rimmed with blood.  I was horrified, angry, scared. But, as any good soldier does, I shook it off. I sprinted back inside, snatching my rifle and plate carrier. Putting my vest on, I tore a fresh mag out of a pouch and slammed it into the magwell of the FNC, bringing my left hand over to the right side and running the bolt. 
"John? What's going on?" Rainbow asked, terrified. She saw the body in the door and her face went completely white. "O-oh Celestia..." 
"Dash, listen. Get everypony here the fuck out. Go to the Royal Guard's barracks. They'll be able to keep them safe. I'll deal with the thing outside. Get going. Don't look back. " I calmly said, the fury in my eyes burning. She blinked, reeling in terror, but began ordering all of the ponies out the back door. Applejack helped as well, their rivalry forgotten in the face of crisis. The ponies were confused and scared, but followed Rainbow and AJ's orders.
I turned to the front door and walked out, stepping over the corpse. Fury boiled in my chest, adrenaline pumping through my veins. Facing the monster, I raised my rifle. It let out another screech as it saw me again, beginning to run my direction. 


You've made a mistake, motherfucker.


The sound of the safety flipping to auto increased my confidence. Whatever this thing was, it was about to face Kent's Fury. I exhaled, centering it in my red dot sight. My right index finger slipped inside the trigger guard. 8 pounds of pressure was all I needed to riddle this fucking thing with holes.


You picked the wrong fight, bitch.
> Chapter 5: "Safety" is a relative term
> --------------------------------------------------------------------------

Have you ever been in a situation so damn weird, terrifying and confusing that you're damn sure it's got to be a dream?
Imagine, if you will: 
A special ops soldier, standing outside a bar, looking at a monster out of your worst nightmare, after you watched it tear apart a completely innocent bystander. 
Oh, by the way, that bystander was of the small talking equine variety. 
Welcome to my world.
The thing was running towards me, using its gangly legs to power itself forwards. It was about 20 meters away before I finally squeezed the trigger of my FNC. The rifle burst to life, lighting up the night sky with a massive muzzle flare, spitting the 5.56 rounds with a passion, showing no mercy as they flew towards their target. The creature staggered, slowing its pace, the rounds hitting their mark and leaving small pock marks in its torso, head and arms. I had good aim. With a cyclic rate of 700 rounds per minute, the FNC emptied its 30 round magazine in just over 2 seconds. Almost all of my shots hit home, but the beast seemed unfazed. It shook its head and unleashed a hellish scream that drove terror into my soul. I managed to shake it off, and quickly dropped the empty mag, slamming a new one in and racking the bolt. 
I looked up just in time to get hit in the chest with one of those huge claws, knocking me backwards nearly 30 feet. Ouch. I landed flat on my back, the sling on my gun preventing it from getting away from me. The monster screamed again, locking onto me with those empty eye sockets and coming my direction again. I brought the rifle up between my legs and pinched off a shot at one of its eyes. The shot hit just above it, but the creature stumbled backwards, grabbing at it's face and flailing about. It shook its head and black blood flew from the hit. The eyes... that's its weak spot. Struggling to my feet, I raised my rifle again and squeezed off some shots, aiming at the newfound weak spot. With the creature flailing about, it was hard to hit. Not impossible though. 
I blasted away, hitting the creature and drawing out dark blood with every shot. Several more shots hit the eyes, which drove the damn thing even more wild. It fell to the ground and convulsed, blood jetting from its eyes, before going still. Still cautious, I slowly moved towards the thing, before drawing my sidearm and putting two rounds into its gaping orbits. The thing shuddered from the impact, but didn't move any more. I exhaled, looking around at the carnage it created. I counted nearly 12 dead ponies, and there were probably more in the severed limbs and heads laying around. Red blood flowed freely down the street. Arterial spray splattered the houses and shops around, painting the once colorful and comfortable walls a sickening shade of crimson. Spent casings littered the ground from my fight with the monster. Jesus fucking Christ... So much death, in such a peaceful town. What had caused this? Why was this thing here? What the hell was going on? 
Another scream cut through the air. 
I recognized this one.
Shaking off my previous thoughts, I wheeled and sprinted towards the sound. It was coming from the Library. Oh shit, Twilight! Running down the main road, I reached up and changed mags, putting the empty one into a pouch on my vest, before chambering a round. More dead ponies littered the street.
How many ponies did this fucking thing kill?
Each corpse I passed increased my fury, made me so pissed off that I was going to rip whatever else did this to pieces. 

With my bare hands.

I rounded the corner to the library and saw what looked like a unicorn in a dark robe using a spell to attempt to tear down the door to the library. Several others stood nearby, their heads together in a circle, chanting in some language.
I recognized it as Russian. 

O, temnyy lord, dayte nam telo, kotoroye nam nuzhno dlya vashikh  prikazaniy, unichtozh'te nevernykh i dayte Temnoy Koroleve zhit' vechno.

As they chanted, their horns glowed and dark, black and green magic swirled around the circle, coalescing into a dark shape. Another one of the creatures.

After seeing this, I decided enough was enough. Raising my rifle, I flipped the safety to semi and Mozambiqued1 the 2 cultists facing me. Both fell, dead to the ground, blood beginning to pool around the bodies. The spell dissipated, and the black mass fell to the ground with a wet slap, incomplete and screeching. The cultists were startled, falling backwards onto their haunches before turning to me.

"There he is!"
"Get 'em!"

The ponies split, with one coming at my left side, and the other at the right, with the third in the middle, charging up a spell as the others charged at me, heads down. 

I turned and double-tapped the left cultist, then turned to the right just as the unicorn was about to hit me. With a speed that I didn't know I had, I sidestepped the charge and quickly fired off a few shots, hitting the pony and bringing it down. 
I turned back to the middle cultist just in time to be hit full frontal with the spell he was charging. I cringed, ready for the pain it was sure to bring, but felt nothing. The red spell just washed around me, doing nothing. The unicorn looked at me in utter confusion. Snapping out of my stupor, I headshot him, spraying blood and brains all over the library sign, then sprinted towards the broken door. As I got inside, I heard the unmistakable sound of Twilight screaming. I raced up the stairs and through the open door to see Twilight cowering on the floor, on her back, with the last cultist standing over her, with a triumphant grin and a knife in hoof.
Oh fuck!
Everything slowed down as I brought my rifle up, snapped the safety to auto, squeezed the trigger and actually watched the bolt cycle back and forth and the spent shells eject as I loosed a burst into the cultist. Six shots hit their mark, blood spurting from the impacts. The pony gasped in pain, dropping the knife, before falling sideways off Twilight, blood leaking from its wounds.
The world was silent as I heard the cultist's death throes, and my brass tinkling onto the floor. Time resumed its normal speed.
Snapping the safety back on and slinging my rifle, I ran to Twilight, dropping to my knees.
"Twilight! Twilight, are you alright?" I asked, concern evident in my voice. She whimpered, leaning into my chest and wrapping her forelegs around me in a tight hug. 
"John... Thank you..." She said, her voice shaky, "Thank youthankyouthankyou" Twilight began to cry, tears streaming down her face as she whimpered. I gently stroked her mane, rocking her back and forth on the floor. 
"It's alright Twi, I'm here. No one's gonna get you, you're safe. Shhhhhhh..." I said and repeated, calming her.
This had to be tough for her. Ponies she probably knew were now dead and her town had become ground zero for a nightmarish battlefield. 
A huge flash and loud popping sound erupted behind me, startling me. I released Twilight, turning towards the light and raising my rifle. Twilight jumped up from the ground and hid behind me, terror in her eyes.
But standing there was not another cultist, or some kind of demon. 
No, standing there was a large white pony, nearly my height with wings and a horn, wearing full medieval-style battle armor, helmet and all. On her flank was what appeared to be the sun.
I recognized her. Princess Celestia, ruler of Equestria, goddess of the sun. 
And she did not look happy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 IDT Labs, April 18, 2020. 6:02 PM PST
"Well, that was a fucking delicious meal, eh?"
Dingo belched loudly, leaning back in his chair and stretching out. The cheap metal folding chair squeaked in protest under his massive weight. Xander rolled his eyes as half the people in the small room looked over at them, startled. 
"Yeah, I'll say. Delicious as basic mess hall food can be," He said, pushing his empty plate away. "You nervous for the op, D-man?" 
Dingo waved a hand in dismissal. "Nah, I ain't scared. It's just a fucking portal to a brand new world, never explored, with tiny English speaking horses running around. I ain't fuckin scared at all!"
"Was that sarcasm?"
"No shit! Need a fuckin book to figure that one out, Xandy-boy?" Dingo said, laughing.
"Fuuuuuck you," Xander said, flipping him the bird and also laughing. "Honestly I'm kinda excited. It's not every day you get to go to an alternate dimension and just fuck around for a few days." He shrugged.
"Yeah, I feel ya."
A rumble filled the room, eliciting confused looks from the populace.
Dingo opened his mouth, to speak, then closed it again, a puzzled look on his face. 
"Oi, you hear that? Sounded like a bang."
"I didn't hear anything. I felt that rumble though." 
"Well maybe if you got the dog shit out your ears you'd actually be able to hear, eh? Let's go see what that was."
"Whatever you say, Dingo." said Xander, rolling his eyes.
The two soldiers stood, gathering their gear before walking towards the door. 
"Ladies first," said Xander, holding the door for Dingo, who promptly slugged him in the arm.
As soon as they left the mess hall, they knew something was wrong. 
LAB 04 had a massive plume of smoke trailing from it, and several bits of concrete had been ejected nearby. The doors were open and staff fled the structure, in a panic. Both men looked at each other, before nodding and jogging towards the building. They saw Ashley and Ethan coming from the bunk house, confused. Dingo caught their eye and motioned them over.
"Hey, you guys know what happened?" Ethan asked on arrival, motioning to the smoke.
"Nope, but we're going to find out," Xander replied, "Care to join us?"
"With pleasure." Ashley stated.
With that, the four of them ran up to the entrance. There, they were greeted by none other than Leonard Hapkins, stumbling out of the entrance, his once bright blue uniform now black and scorched. He hacked and coughed, falling to his knees. 
"You alright there, sir?" Ethan asked, instinctively holding out a hand to help him up. Hapkins grasped the hand, coughing again, before yanking on Ethan's hand, pulling him down to his level. Ethan yelped before being cut off by a one-arm choke hold, with Hapkins drawing his sidearm and placing the barrel against Ethan's temple.
"NOBODY FUCKING MOVE!" He yelled, making Ethan wince from the volume. 
Everyone froze, hands twitching close to rifle grips, confused looks spreading across faces. Hapkins struggled to his feet, Ethan squirming in his grasp.
Dingo spoke up, "Oi, Hapkins, the fuck mate? Whatcha on about?"
"ALL OF YOU, INSIDE, NOW!" Hapkins shouted, ignoring the question. Ethan pulled at the arm around his neck, to no avail. Hapkins was too strong, and he had a gun to his head. The team slowly walked into the building, hands above their heads although they had no desire to. Hapkins followed, still with a gun to Ethan's head and an arm around his neck. Inside, the building was in mayhem. A few people lay groaning left or right, and a couple people weren't moving at all. Debris littered the floor, with shell casings interspersed.  
"Go through the far right door," Hapkins said, calmer but still with surprising authority. Smoke poured from the open door, but despite that, they obeyed. Hapkins was close behind. They walked into the room, seeing fire and destroyed equipment and more. They wanted to turn away, to leave, but their friend, their teammate, was being held hostage. A blank pedestal was in the center of the room, untouched by the carnage. The team slowly turned to face Hapkins, hands held non-threateningly. He stood there, silent, gun pressed into Ethan's temple. Xander broke the silence.
"Hey, so, mind telling us why you've got a gun to our friends' temple?" He asked, calmly. Inside, he was freaking out, but his demeanor betrayed none of that. They'd all been through the same training. Even Ethan was calm. 
"He is instrumental in our little plan," Hapkins said, his eyes changing to a sickly shade of green and his voice growing higher. "Mister Ethan here, is your motivation."
"For what?" 
Hapkins grinned crazily. "So that you don't try anything."
A bright flash of green forced the team to look away. When their gazes returned to Ethan, Hapkins had been replaced by... something. 
"What in the name of all that is holy are you?!" Ashley said, confused and disgusted.
The thing that had replaced Hapkins was standing on its hind legs. It somewhat resembled a horse, but was far skinnier, had a black skin that was somewhat shiny, and a teal mane. Its green eyes had a double pupil, and its snout was twisted into a insane grin. A pair of insect-esque wings fluttered out to the sides, and its hooves looked like swiss cheese. But that was nothing compared to the gnarled horn on its head, sticking out almost 2 feet from its head. In one of its misshapen hooves it held a pistol, same as before, while the other foreleg was still wrapped tightly around Ethans throat. He struggled a bit, confused by the sudden change. 
"You wonder what happened to your Sergeant? Well, see for yourself!" The thing spoke in a high, grating, feminine voice. Its horn lit up, and a blob of green light flew from it and hit the pedestal, opening into a swirling mass of green. 
"Now don't make me end your poor friend's life and just step into the portal."
"Look, there has got to be a better way to do this. Can't we just-" Ashley was cut off by a gunshot and Ethan crying out in pain. 
"That time it was the foot. Any more questions and he takes one to the brain!" The horse-thing cackled, throwing back its head. "Now step into the portal. NOW!" 
With one more worried, disgusted look, Ashley stepped up onto the pedestal, and looking around once more, jumped into the portal. Next went Xander, slowly stepping up onto the pedestal. Apparently too slow for the creature, because it removed the gun from Ethan's head, and fired one shot into Xander's rear plate. He let out a yelp, falling into the portal face-first. Dingo was last, hefting himself onto the pedestal while looking at the creature with fury in his eyes. 
"What did you do with the Sergeant , you psycho bitch." Dingo said, straining to keep the anger out of his voice.
"Oh, I'm sure you'll meet him in Equestria. Now hop into the portal; I won't ask again." She said, smiling wide. 
His mouth opened to ask what the fuck Equestria was, but he closed it before speaking. With one last, pissed off look, he jumped into the portal. 
Queen Chrysalis smiled to herself, her hostage squirming and gasping in pain. 
"Now, now, I only shot you in the foot," she said, tsking. 
"...Fucking...let...me...go..you...mother...fucker..." Ethan rasped, struggling again and trying to break free. He elbowed the Queen in her underbelly, drawing a painful grunt before she struck him in the temple with the pistol. His vision blurred and he slumped, seeing stars. The floor beneath him was slick with his own blood.
She snarled. "Oh, I'll let you go alright." 
The Queen shoved Ethan away from her, dropping to all fours and letting him fall. He hit the ground hard. Sitting up, he tried to draw his sidearm, but the Queen stopped him by firing once, the shot whizzing past his ear. He inhaled sharply, his hands shakily rising above his head. 
"Now, please enter the portal like the others."
Struggling to his feet, Ethan limped towards the pedestal, leaving a bloody smear across the floor.  He struggled onto it, sweat dripping from his forehead, before shakily standing and facing the Queen.
"Hurry up now, your friends are waiting!" she said, laughing.
"Can I ask you one question?" Ethan pleaded, fear in his eyes.
The Queen rolled her eyes. "Yes, I suppose one question won't harm anything. Ask."
"What's that?" He asked innocently, pointing at the ground beneath her feet. She glanced down, confused. On the ground, spattered with blood from his foot, lay a block of demolitions grade C-4. She looked at it quizzically, before her eyes widened and her gaze flew up where Ethan stood, cheesy smile plastered across his face, holding the detonator in his hand. 
"Molon labe, Bitch" 

With those words, he squeezed the detonator trigger. The Queen screamed in fury, firing her pistol fruitlessly at him before she was consumed by the massive explosion. The shock wave blew Ethan back into the portal, sending him into oblivion with a smile on his face.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"IN THE NAME OF THE PONIES OF EQUESTRIA, I COMMAND THAT YOU STAND DOWN!"
The Princess shouted, her voice layered with echo and authority, like a drill sergeant but ten times more powerful. I winced at the volume, dropping my rifle onto its sling and raising my hands above my head. My hearing protection prevented any permanent damage.
"I'm one of the good guys!" I said, almost pleading. The Princess was quite the sight to behold, big, powerful, and pissed off. Her face showed a look of pure fury, the powerful muscles beneath her gleaming coat rippling as she took a step towards me, speaking again.
"SILENCE, BEAST! YOU WILL BE PURGED FROM THIS LAND WITHOUT MERCY!" The Princess began charging a spell.
"Wait!" Twilight spoke up from behind me, fear in her voice, but it was too late. The Princess let her spell go, flying towards me. I cringed and covered my face with my gloved hands, but nothing happened. Just as before, the spell washed around me. All I felt was a slight buzz, but nothing else. The spell had no effect on me. I felt another spell hit and deflect around me, and again, no effect. Lowering my hands, I looked up into the eyes of the Princess. The look of fury was replaced with one of confusion, of near fear. 
"Why are my spells doing nothing to you, beast?" She said, struggling to keep the fear from her voice. I kept my hands above my head, and opened my mouth to speak, but Twi beat me to it.
"He's a human!"
The Princess stopped. Her mouth hung agape at the news.
"H-human?" she stuttered,
"Yes princess, a Human!" Twilight began quickly recalling my story, all the while watching the princess with fearful eyes. When she was finished, The Princess's face took on a look of understanding.
"I see..." she said, "So it appears that humans aren't all warmongers after all..." She smiled slightly.
"I wouldn't say that, ma'am. As you can see, I'm dressed for war currently." I said, gesturing to my garb. "I'm a soldier, after all." 
The Princess's smile faded, replaced by one of sadness.
"That said, I like to think of myself as a not-horrible person. I try my best to fight the good fight." I said, attempting to reassure her.
The three of us stood there, in Twilight's room upstairs, silently. The Princess's gaze shifted from Twilight to I, taking on numerous looks, from shock, to anger, hope, pride, sadness, confusion. It looked like she was trying to decipher the secrets of the universe. Well, maybe she was. I broke the silence.
"So, um, Princess?"
"Please, call me Celestia."
"Uh, okay. Celestia, you are aware of what has happened here, yes?"
Her face took on a much darker tone. "Yes. A tragedy outweighing anything I've seen for centuries. The only thing I could relate something like this to would be the Changeling invasion of Canterlot, and that was nothing compared to this. I have the Royal Guard sweeping the town now, making it safe again. Perhaps you could assist us in this task?" 
"With pleasure."
Celestia nodded once at me, her eyes like iron in the soft candlelight. In those eyes I saw a fire unlike any I've seen, one that burns to protect those whom are innocent. Those who are helpless, harmless. Her mouth was a hard line, and her posture suggested that she was really pissed off.

"Good. Your enthusiasm will come in handy shortly. How good are you with a sword?" She asked me.
I hefted my FNC, still smoking from the last few rounds, and patted it affectionately.

"I prefer to fight from range. But, if I need to get up close,"- I reached around and slid my 6 1/2 inch Buck Nighthawk fighting knife from its sheath- "Then this will do."

Celestia looked at my knife and gun with doubt, before saying,

"That blade is unsuitable for our activities. Here, take my spare."
She used her horn to levitate a small straight blade sword in front of me. It had a golden handle, and the blade was nearly 18 inches long, made of a strange black material that looked like obsidian. The princesses cutie mark was engraved on the hilt, both sides. It was extremely high quality, and also looked completely ceremonial.

"I think I'll be okay, Celestia. This should suit me fine." I said, patting my rifle again.

"If you insist. It is your health on the line, after all. Besides, what is that long stick in your hands?" She asked, pointing at my rifle. "I presume it is a weapon of sorts."

"This? My rifle. FN-FNC, 700 rounds per minute, 5.56 mm NATO chamber, fully automatic with an AimPoint red dot optic. It does that to people and ponies alike," I said, pointing to the corpse behind me, "Or anything that's flesh and blood, for that matter. Effective out to 600 meters, 800 if I'm lucky. Also great in close quarters, much better than a sword."

Celestia stared blankly at me, blinking a few times as if what i had just said was complete gibberish, which to her, it was.

"Point is, it'll get the job done," I reaffirmed, "Speaking of which, we need to get to that. Someone should look after Twilight, get her to safety."

Twilight was looking at the corpse with wide eyes, pale faced and terrified. She shook, leaning against my legs for support. Her mouth hung open, and her ears drooped. I had a feeling she was going to have a tough time dealing with all this. People deal with trauma in their own ways. Some freak out and panic. Some just stare, like Twi was doing. Some pass out. It depends on the person. I personally ignored it until later, when I would confront the demons that fluttered about my head after such events. Killing people, or ponies, is no cakewalk and no matter what people tell you, killing always leaves a mark. I remember the moment leading up to and right after my memorable kills, and I remember the expression just before the target dies.
I try to think of pulling the trigger as just knocking down a target at the range. I have a confirmed kill count of 61. 52 of them are from my time in the Army Rangers, and only 9 are from my ops with Underdog. As a special operations squad, my team responds to threats that the normal Military can't, due to politics or other factors. We've been contracted by everyone from the CIA to Homeland Security. We've dealt with threats both domestic and foreign. And we've only been contracted 8 times total in two years.

Three times, ops went bad.

Three times, I had to kill people. Again.

Those are the ones I remembered.

So I knew how Twi felt. She witnessed death in the worst form. But she was alive, and that's what matters.

To me, at least.

Celestia looked over at her, concern clear on her pristine face, and nodded.

"I'll see that my best guards keep her safe. As for the more unfortunate..." She nodded in the direction of the dead cultist. "We'll deal with that, as well."
Her horn lit up, and the cultist was surrounded in a golden glow. She lifted the body off the ground, and it disappeared. Only blood was left.

"I never caught your name, human. If we're going to save this town together, that may be a necessity." Celestia said, holding out a hoof.

"Sergeant John Kent, Underdog Contracting."
I grasped her hoof and shook, sealing the deal.

"Now let's save this town."



1: Mozambique: Two shots to the body, one to the head.