It was a quiet day in the Sugarcube Corner. All of the tables were empty. Mr. Cake double-checked to ensure the sign was set to open. It indeed was. But where were all the customers? Mr. Cake wondered to himself while pacing back and forth. The restaurant was usually bustling and had several orders coming through. “What went wrong? Was our latest promotion not good enough? Have everyone’s tastes changed? Is everyone going through a recession and we need to lower prices, but what about our profit margins?”, Mr. Cake continually thought to himself.
"Sweetie, I know you're stressed out. Maybe take a seat and read the paper?"
"You're right dear. But what are we supposed to do without any customers?"
At that minute, Pinkie Pie decided to come downstairs. Their beloved tenant and employee never fails to help attract people to their business. Her parties helped spread the word about how good the food at the restaurant was, and she always carried her workload.
"Heya Mr. and Mrs. Cake the diner sure is empty. Oh well. More time to clean tables."
Pinkie then retrieved a bottle of cleaner and some paper towels and got to work. The tables were spotless except for the occasional crumb, but in Pinkie’s mind it never hurt to make it so you can see your reflection in it.
"Hey look at this dear. Several restaurants including Donut Joe's are now doing a home delivery option. Delicious freshly prepared food, right at your doorstep."
"You thinking what I am?"
"Agreed darling. But who could we count on to handle delivering the food to the customers? Hmmm..."
Mr. Cake thought for a few minutes then was interrupted.
"Tables are done, Mr. Cake. Anything else I can do for you?"
It was at that moment Mr. Cake realized the answer was right in front of him.
"Pinkie. How would you feel about receiving a promotion?"
"A promotion! Oh boy, Mr. Cake, I'm so excited! This calls for a party! I've got to go tell all my friends."
Mr. Cake sighed. As much as he loved his employee and tenant, she could be a bit much sometimes. He waited until his ears stopped ringing and began to say his piece.
"Slow down their Pinkie. Let's not get carried away. The missus and I still need to get some stuff prepared for you. If it goes well, then you can celebrate. But until then, please be patient."
"Wait, what kind of promotion is it, Mr. Cake?"
Pinkie Pie said tilting her head. Getting a promotion never occurred to her, but the possibilities in her mind remained endless. She always dreamed of one day owning a store like this and catering for important celebrations. Not to mention helping set up the parties themselves. “Yes, yes, yes. After all these years, I can’t wait.”
"You'll be handling our food deliveries. Think you can handle it?"
Pinkie’s bubble immediately popped. “Focus Pinkie, you can’t let the Cakes know you’re slightly disappointed. Just think of lollipops and rainbows. Lollipops and rainbows.”
"You can count on me. I won't let you down. I can deliver food lickety-split."
Pinkie then proceeded to salute. “I won’t let you down Cakes.”
A few days had passed and the very first trial run of their new delivery system was ready to go. Everything seemed in tip top shape. The receiver in the headband was functioning properly. The receiver it was connected to was syncing in real-time. Everything was all set.
“All set Pinkie? Remember what I told you?” Mr. Cake said, passing off the box of fresh donuts.
“Yepperoni. This nifty headband thingy will be tracking where I go and ensuring that customers know where the food is at all times. I then deliver the food to the destination which is conveniently written on the receipt on the box. Easy-peasy.”
“Okay. Good luck. Make us proud.”
Pinkie proceeded to look down on the receipt: “123 Paisley Avenue”. Oh, I know where that is! That’s where Derpy and Dinky live. I can be there in a flash.
Pinkie ran down the street at full speed ahead. As much as she wanted to, Pinkie couldn't just take an instantaneous shortcut. This test was to determine the equipment's accuracy and Pinkie couldn't mess with the results. Especially if it might make the equipment seem faulty, and will make the Cakes buy a replacement unnecessarily. Then Pinkie proceeded to knock at the door.
“Delivery!” Pinkie shouted.
The door opened and Derpy walked outside.
“That was quick. Me and my little muffin thank you greatly. Though I thought you worked for the Cakes, not Donut Joe. And why isn’t Donut Joe using that fancy robot delivery pony?”
Pinkie gasped "This wasn't even supposed to be my delivery"
“I still work for the Cakes. What’s this about a robo-pony?! Oh no! Robo ponies are going to take over all the jobs and there won’t be any left for us working ponies.”
“This shall not stand!”
Pinkie exclaimed, pointing towards the sky with her right front hoof.
“Appreciate that. Fight the good fight for all of us delivery ponies. Speaking of deliveries, can I have my donuts?”
“Oh yeah. Here you go. The Sugarcube Corner hopes you have a great day.”
Pinkie handed over the donuts. And Derpy promptly paid her dues.
Pinkie peered over them ensuring that she would return over the correct number of bits. Last thing she wanted was to have the Cakes be short-changed or have customers overpay.
“Let’s see twenty-four, twenty-five, twenty-six, twenty-seven. Heya Derpy, I think you gave me too big of a tip.”
Pinkie was about to give back the extra bits when Derpy pushed them back over.
“A gift from me to you. We gotta support each other, you know.”
Pinkie wrapped her forelegs around Derpy. It sure felt nice to have another pony have her back against the machines.
“Thank you Derpy. And give my regards to Dinky.”
Derpy waved her off.
“Good luck on leading the robot resistance. I’ll be rooting for ya.”
The door was shut and the order was deemed a success. Pinkie took a deep breath and started to walk back to the Sugarcube Corner only to hear a loud metallic clanging noise. She initially thought she hit a trash can or some kind of carriage.
Pinkie looked up at what she ran into. It looked like a silver pony. Only with wheels instead of hooves and glowing red eyes. And right on the center of its barrel was a large red button with a picture of a house on it.
"Omg is that a robo-pony?? Begone evil doer." Pinkie immediately pressed the red button.
"Order canceled. Returning home. ", it said in an eerie disjointed electronic voice. It rotated around with a hum and sped off in the distance. All the way back to Donut Joe's.
Pinkie trudged back towards the Sugarcube Corner, her thoughts about the robo-pony weighing heavily on her mind. "I wish I could have just thrown it a party. But they're gunning for your job Pinkie. No more job; no more super-duper special parties; no more smiles in Equestria. It's better this way."
Pinkie burst through the doors of the Sugarcube Corner ready to relay what she learned from the delivery.
“Mr. Cake!? Why didn’t you tell me that robo-ponies were a thing? And please tell me I’m not replaceable.”
Pinkie proceeded to pout and pressed her bottom lip against her upper lip.
“Pinkie. I understand your concerns. There’s a popular model called the General Pony Taskmaster Mark Four. It’s very expensive to rent however. Mrs. Cake and I simply don’t have that kind of money these days to get one. It was far cheaper to get the crystal tracking system and rely on you to transport deliveries.”
Pinkie's mane deflated and she then ran off. "I see how it is. I wasn't supposed to get a promotion in the first place."
Mrs. Cake only shook her head.
“Don’t worry dear. Pinkie will be back when she calms down.”
“I sure hope you’re right, sugarplums. Though I might have worded that poorly.”
Elsewhere at the Golden Oak Library, the doors burst open with a loud bang. Twilight immediately turned towards Pinkie and away from the book she was re-reading for the fourth time. Spike unfortunately was missing out on fun and excitement, as he was out preparing geode seeds for Rarity.
“Twilight! Mr. Cake thinks a machine could do something better than I can.”
Twilight only proceeded by blinking. "It's not unheard of for gadgets and machinery to help assist in various pony's occupations. But to flat out replace somepony, that's pretty much unheard of."
“Say that again Pinkie.”
Pinkie took a deep breath and tried again.
“A machine Twilight! Mr. Cake would probably replace me in a heartbeat…”
Twilight took hold of Pinkie's right foreleg. "Maybe a quick example will her put things into perspective and quell her fears."
“Come with me.”
Twilight proceeded to walk Pinkie to a desk with a quill attached to a microphone on it.
“See that, Pinkie?”
Pinkie proceeded to nod.
“That is a dictation quill. It’s supposed to help automatically transcribe whatever I say onto a piece of paper. It’s not quite as good as Spike writing down my letters and still has minor issues to work out. But it is great in a pinch if he’s busy. And ultimately, he is the one that sends the letters to Celestia.”
Pinkie nodded as an idea started to form. She now knew the perfect way to get the Cakes to appreciate her.
“So, what you’re saying is if I can prove myself to be a better deliverer than that robo-pony, the Cakes will come to appreciate my talents and my unique skills even more.”
Twilight face-hoofed. Twilight sighed thinking to herself, “Best to do here is to just indulge her for now. What’s the worst thing that could happen?”
“You know what. Sure Pinkie. You can challenge that robo-pony to a delivery contest. I think I can help you set it up too.”
“You will! Thank you! Thank you! You’re the bestest best friend ever, Twilight!” Pinkie said as she proceeded to squeeze Twilight.
Twilight patted her friend on the back.
“Mind letting go Pinkie?”
“Okie dokie loki.” Pinkie proceeded to let go of Twilight, and grinned ear to ear.
Twilight sat down staring at a map of Ponyville. She knew that the destination had to be at least somewhat equally far away from both Donut Joe's and The SugarCube Corner. "But where though?" she wondered.
Spike approached her from behind, carrying a tray of food.
"Lunch time Twilight. It's your favorite. A hayburger, hold the cheese and extra pickles."
"Thanks Spike. I appreciate it. All this work has been making me kind of hungry."
"No problem, Twi. It's just part of being your number one assistant. So have you found a spot for Pinkie's contest thingy to end at? Cause I was thinking about Sweet Apple Acres. It's big. It's bright. Plus, it's generally a good spot for a picnic."
"Spike you can't just…", Twilight looked down at the map of Ponyville again, "Spike you're a genius! It's perfect."
"I am? I mean of course I am. Thanks for noticing."
"Let's go get Pinkie okay, Spike? We still need to finalize the details."
Spike gave a thumbs up.
"Understood."
A short while later, Pinkie Pie carefully sneaked into the Sugarcube Corner, staying low and trying to remain out of sight. She went up to the Cakes room and deposited the invitation to Sweet Apple Acres on their bed. Then went down to the kitchen to prepare some pink frosted donuts.
Meanwhile Twilight placed an order for a half dozen glazed donuts from Donut Joe. A simple order and his specialty. The key here was to get it fresh, right around the time he started a new batch.
A short while later when Pinkie had left for the delivery, the Cakes had discovered a note written in pink crayon. Mr. Cake had proceeded to put on his reading glasses.
"Cakes, you are hereby invited to a quiet little picnic at Sweet Apple Acres for some donuts. I need to do this so I can prove myself to you. Love, Pinkie Pie"
They went outside to look for their family friend, and saw Pinkie was already a pink running down the highway. They sighed and moseyed along, the Cakes figuring that Pinkie was making a beeline towards Sweet Apple Acres. Coming from the opposite end, was a robotic pony clunking around slowly but surely making their way towards Sweet Apple Acres.
But it was no use. The pink speedster had arrived in the lead and was leaps and bounds ahead of the robo-pony. Once Pinkie was close enough, she dropped the fresh pink frosted donuts down on the picnic table.
"Time everypony!" Twilight yelled as she stopped the stop watch.
The robot pony slowly pulled up in the distance and with a loud boom stopped just short of the gate.
"And the official winner is Pinkie Pie!" Twilight then proceeded to clear her throat, "For outstanding sportsmanship and being better than a machine, I present to you this certificate and coupon to Quills and Sofas."
Twilight then proceeded to hand Pinkie her reward.
"Woo! I won! I won! Did you see that, Twilight? And ooh, they're having a sale on baking supplies! Score!"
Mr. Cake chimed up. "Sorry about my remarks earlier dearie. I love and appreciate everything you do. And sorry about the half-baked promotion I gave you. I do believe a proper one is in order. I hereby dub thee,assistant manager. And looking at that bucket of bolts by the gate, I'm glad the Missus and I couldn’t get one of them after all. Though how are you going to get them back to Donut Joe?"
"We'll just send it through medium mail." Twilight said with a shrug.
"You know what this calls for”, Pinkie Pie adding some pause for emphasis, “a donut party!"
