Chapter One
Tonight was going to be a special night for me, according to Luna. It’s already been well over a year since I’ve come to Equestria, and she and Celestia wanted to give me an award for so handily defending Everfree City through sheer force of will. So, like any good coltfriend, I snuck out of the palace instead of trying suits on. Me and Blaze wanted to go explore, maybe pick up an odd job here and there. I hopped up on Blaze’s back, since she grew a little over the last year, and was the size of Celestia now. So I just hop up on her back and ride her on occasion. Since she is apparently defiant in gravity, she can jump out a window with me on her back, and land on her paws without breaking me or her legs.
I guess. My fox doesn’t make a whole lot of sense; she’s literally a magical fox.
“You know, Luna is going to tear into you for leaving before she can dress you up in a suit before the big party later, right?”
“Meh, women beating up their boyfriends, for making them worried or pissed off, is nothing new. The only difference is Luna can, and will kick my ass harder than most.” I chuckled as we started walking around town. While I was considered a national hero now, thanks to my ‘exploits’ of using Everfree City’s main street as a death road for an army of griffins, a lot of the richer ponies in town still looked at me like I was a little sack of shit. Earth ponies thought I was too stuffy for being a winged idiot, and unicorns thought I was stupid for being a pegasus. There were a few pegasi families in the city, and they all loved me.
Their foals would come up for an autograph, which really only happened once, but they still came up to me and would try and get me to hang out with them. Since they were foals, and foals were adorable, I couldn’t help but stick around for a few moments to play with them. And since I explained to the parents of those families what Blaze was, and a quick demonstration of how much my kitsune loved foals, they were quick to allow their children to play with my pet as long as they somehow didn’t irritate them…
Blaze had the patience of a saint for children, they pulled on her tails, ears, headbutted her, all sorts of things, and she sat there with a smile, and happily took what they threw at her. Yet when I boop her on the nose, I lose the rights to the hoof that I used to boop her nose. Life is unfair and my kitsune hates me…
So, because we had nothing to do, and my award ceremony or party were to happen at sundown, and it was barely even eleven in the morning, I figured I could do an odd job to kill the time. Blaze let me climb up onto her back, and we strode over to the town square so we could look at the job board. There was a job that involved going through traps that had been placed by a previous odd-worker, and seeing if there was anything in those traps. Such as furs for clothes, weird creatures, anything at all. Since it paid a fair amount, and because it would take the least amount of time if Blaze carried me, we took it.
Since this was a private job, I had to head over to an address posted on the job, and receive a few details about the job. Such as a key, and that I would get a fifty bit bonus for everything that was in the traps. I didn’t actually have to bring anything back, besides the traps to prove that I did do the job, and so that they could be recycled and reused at a later date.
We headed out into the wilderness, which was really only half an hour’s walk from Everfree Forest. Since the employer said the traps were heavy, and saw Blaze, he gave us a wagon to help get the job done sooner. I like this guy; he was pretty laid back, and a noble. What a rare trait. We even made jokes, since me being a consort on Luna wasn’t private, about how a Princess was in bed. And, get this, he was one of the few that didn’t think of Luna as a demon. His name was Fancy Pants the Third or something… He had no pants. She rolled her eyes when I asked if I could hitch the wagon on her, but she didn’t make any physical protests, and even helped with putting his harness on.
“Of course you would think of me a dumb, stupid animal,” she whispered. She was crying too. “I love you with all my heart and-” I hopped up on my hind legs to hug her. “Gotcha!” She laughed. “Do you think I care if you attach a wagon to me or not? The look on your face is priceless!” She giggled.
“Hey now, I felt bad! I thought I had genuinely hurt your feelings!” I continued hugging her. My ears were tightly held against my skull. I Sighed. “You’re an asshole.” Now, Blaze genuinely looked sad. She nuzzled me.
“I just wanted to pull a little prank… Did you genuinely think, I, a creature capable of reading your mind, would think you see me as an animal?” She asked. I nodded. “I see… I am sorry for scaring you so much. I see how much you care about my feelings, and about how I am doing mentally…” She licked my cheek. “Forgive and forget this ever happened?” I nodded again. “Good. Now, you don’t need to ask if you can attach a wagon or something. I may be a magical construct in the shape of an animal, but I am still a dumb animal. I don’t mind being treated as one every now and then.”
I booped her nose and lost the right to that hoof. “Hey, in my world, if I were the way I am now, I’d be the dumb, stupid animal pulling the cart. I just didn’t want to offend you in some way but just harnessed the thing onto you without asking first.”
“You got shot in the butt with an arrow, Ostri, I am not allowing you to get hurt again. So if you stick a wagon on my back, I would not mind, since that would keep you from pulling a muscle or twisting an ankle or knee. And I’m not going to let you hurt yourself by pulling something like a wagon full of a bunch of metal traps. I have no muscles, or bones, as I am mostly made of magic. So I might as well take the load.” She then winced. “Maybe I am going to feel this tomorrow,” she whimpered. She started faked limping for a couple of steps, before figuring I wasn’t falling for it.
“You just wanna complain for the sake of complaining,” I pointed out.
“I’m hoping to guilt trip you into massaging me after the party later. I may not have muscles, but I still have senses; you touching me feels good.”
“Wow, that can be taken so poorly out of context,” we both giggled. “Hey, what’s growling and hissing?” I asked as we came upon the location of the first trap. It was only midday, and the party in my name was to be at sun down. As we got closer, we could see… a pony of some sort. It looked very buglike and was nearly as tall as Luna, but she was clearly younger. Her voice sounded a lot like a teenage girl, as she was muttering and panicking slightly at how dead she was if anyone showed up.
Her hair was wispy and almost looked like it was made out of the same membranes as her wings. The tail matched. Her legs were long, lanky, and were more slender than even Celestia’s… She looks half-starved. On top of that… her left foreleg was caught in the trap we were supposed to grab. Apparently, the traps had a magical locking mechanism, a recent discovery, that could only be undone by whoever set the locking spell up, or if you had a special key that I was given for the job. Basically, this girl was stuck. As we got closer, the mare noticed us and started hissing at us. A snakelike tongue slithered in between some very, very sharp teeth.
“What the actual fuck are you?”
“Why should you care, pony? Just kill me and-” he horn lit.
“Whoa there,” I raised my hooves. “You’re clearly not a dumb animal, so let’s not get violent here. Who are you, what are you, and will you try to kill me if I let you out?” I asked.
“In your language, my name is Princess Chrysalis, secondly, I am a Changeling Princess, and lastly, if you free me I will not cause you harm. I… Will you hurt me?”
“Tell me why the hell you’re out here, and if you keep being peaceful, I won’t lay a hoof on you.”
“I… My kind feeds on love,” what? “I know, I am quite weird, the last few pony settlements told me that before chasing me out. I’m trying to feed, mostly so I don’t die, but also so that I may mature into a Queen. Once I am Queen, I can begin looking for a spot to build up my own Hive, to have children. I swear, I can get love ambiently, but it tastes better when it’s willingly given, and I don’t want to hurt anyone for love. Just… Don’t hurt me, please?” She tilted her head. Her big ol’, snakelike eyes dialed in on me as I got closer.
She’s adorable!
“Well, I still did my job if I brought back empty traps,” I reached down to her hoof and slid the key into the lock. With a click, it came off, and her hoof… This lady’s in a carapace. That didn’t stop her from caressing her probably aching limb.
“...You actually believe me?”
“Hey,” Blaze spoke up. “Ostri, the pony you’re speaking to believes you are adorable and deserve to be hugged. He was the same with me, and he had taken a job to, unknowingly, kill me. It’s how we met.”
“A kitsune?” Chrysalis tilted her head. “What are you doing out here?”
“...My mother was a bit… dramatic,” Blaze answered.
Chrysalis then turned to me. “Deserve to be hugged?”
“Hey, to me you sound like a teenager who was just trapped, and now you sound like a teenager who just needs a hug.”
“...Well, a hug would feed me with affection; I can feed on other emotions, but love is very important,” she hummed. “Will you hug me?” I scooped her up and hugged her. “Oh this feels nice…” she whispered. “Thank you,” she shivered when I let her go. “Now I’m full… and I genuinely did need the hug, as you said. It’s been so long since I’ve interacted with anyone who would’ve been nice to me, and that was when I left my mother’s Hive to start my own life.” She dug at the ground for a moment. “Can I follow you home?”
“...Why the hell not? I wouldn’t mind having another friend. Just know my home’s a little big.”
“Why is that?” Chrysalis tilted her head again and her ears flopped. Seriously, changelings, judging from this one, are adorable. “You’ll see. However, we’ve got a bunch of other traps to collect before this oddjob is done with. If you wanna, you can ride on Blaze’s back, or not, it’s up to you.” Chrysalis nodded, and just walked beside me and my kitsune until the job was done. By the time we were done and back in town, the sun was firmly in the west, probably an hour or two before Celestia had actually set the Sun. Everyone pointed and whispered at us, probably because of Chrysalis, but nobody wanted to fight through me and a ‘kumiho’.
Upon reaching the castle, after giving Fancy Pants the Third the wagon full of traps, and up to mine and Luna’s room. Once I closed the door, Luna was in the middle of angrily pacing, and Celestia was standing around. Both were in fairly simple, but ornamental dresses. On the bed was my suit, and now my marefriend was glaring at me. “Where. The. Buck. Were. You?” Chrysalis squeaked and slowly started to hide behind Blaze. “I thought you decided to try and skip out on your own bucking award ceremony!” She shouted.
“Hey, I’m here, aren’t I? I was doing an odd job, before the whole ceremony and…”
“So you’re dirty,” she stated bluntly.
“You know, sister,” Celestia said, sipping on some tea. “We could give him a nice, cold bath to punish him.” She said with a smirk behind the tea cup.
‘No, Celestia, bad. Don’t you dare-”
‘You know sister, that is a wonderful idea! And then I can use this new thing called fur conditioner that the royal scientists came up with, on Ostri!” She pumped her hooves in the air and tackled me. Me, being unable to overpower Luna at all, ended up being tortured in the bathtub for twenty minutes straight. I was legitimately held down in place with magic while apple pie scented fur conditioner was rubbed into my fur. Meanwhile, I heard Celestia squeal in delight as she started going on about how adorable a certain changeling was.
I was dragged out of the bathroom, after being stuffed into my tuxedo, and presented to the rest of the room. Chrysalis, who was currently being held in Celestia’s arms with a relaxed smile plastered on her face, and the mare holding her stared at us. “Oh… You are handsome!”
“And who is this that you just brought home, Ostri?” Luna raised an eyebrow.
“Hey! Don’t get mad at your mate! He helped me get out of a bear trap, and let me follow him home!” Chrysalis’s hoof came down with a crack. “He’s a good stallion, treat him like it!”
“I know he is, I just… What tribe of ponies do you hail from?”
“I’m a changeling. I’m not a pony,” she said. “Ostri is a good stallion, Princess, take care of him. Not many ponies would have stopped, listened to me, and then helped free me of… my predicament.”
“Well…” Luna gave me a side eye. “I suppose I cannot be too mad at my consort, but I would say his punishment is still just. After all, I told him not to leave the castle for the day, and he still did it.”
“...Uh…” I raised my hoof. “Why do we need an award ceremony, and why is it so important that we can’t just put it off until tomorrow or something?”
“You literally saved an entire city, Ostri. You kept me, my sister, and everypony in Everfree Forest safe. And while that may not have been your initial intention to keep all of us safe, you did do that,” Celestia said with a small smile. “And you’ve shown a lot of bravery heading out to meet with a griffin, face to face, and then have the nerve to actually anger that same griffin in order to put your plan in order. You, my friend, are an excellent general, and I am a little angry that you’ll be going to the Lunar Militia instead of the Solar Battalion. Which will mean you can’t get my stubborn officers to drop their sense of honor and get them to focus on simply winning a battle.”
“Wait what? Me? A bucking general?” I shouted. “How the fuck-”
“You’ve already received training from Luna when she was teaching you how to fight. You are currently the fastest pegasus I know of, despite how shotty your landings are, and you have leadership skills and have shown to be a brilliant tactician.” Celestia said, taking another dainty sip of her tea. “And you’re a consort; you were basically a general already, but now we can make it official!”
I sat on my ass, contemplating what the heck I just got myself into. Me, leading armies, coming up with plans, where if they suck, I can get people killed. What…
Luna looks so damn excited about this, which is the only reason why I haven’t just jumped out of the window right after hearing about that news. While my brain was slowly processing what I was told, I dumbly followed the Sisters, while Chrysalis stayed with Blaze in our room, down to one of the castle ballrooms. At the back was a stage, there was a confectionery table off to the side, filled with drinks and snacks for the guests.
There were a few people there, such as Starswirl the Asshole, a few nobles, and the day and night guards were scattered along the outskirts. Armor Breaker was wearing a very ceremonial uniform covered in badges. I felt a bit out of place, with just me and my suit, but Luna nuzzling me gave me some hope. “You know,” she said slyly. “If you keep a strong face throughout the party, you can help me out of my dress later.”
That is an enticing offer. I think pretending to not have social anxiety will be pretty easy. I made my way up to the podium with a glass of shitty alcohol so I could give a speech and say some cheers.