Join Thomas as he sees his preconceptions of Equestria torn apart. Good luck, Thomas.
Canceled by reason of my editor convinced me it was a terrible idea. Not the story itself, but the location. I've changed enough, including but not limited to: the way magic works, the main characters, the reasons behind upcoming events (season three was essentially ignored), the upcoming war, the grey moral grounds of necromancy, and the MacGuffins, so... yeah. I've been told to move this into a world of my own make and rewrite it without the copyrighted content. My only regret is that I didn't finish editing up through chapter 6, when things really started to get going. That being said, I've also been told that waiting until chapter five to reveal the dramatic conflict was a huge no-no. So overall, this has been a fun experience. To those who were expecting more, I apologize my editor tells me I don't care. Whew, that might have made me feel guilty! Bye, all!
I leaned down to lace up my sneakers, and took note of the portal again. It was a simple door, white with a brass handle, and was supposed to lead to the closet of the second floor apartment I lived in. If you were to open it, however, the window would blacken over and the other side of the door would open out into a storage closet in Canterlot Castle. More specifically, the back wall of an empty broom closet. I had only peeked through the door further into the castle once before, and after covertly watching a castle guard walk past with none other than Celestia herself, I decided that being crazy was A-OK with me! Of course, if worst came to worst and it turned out I had simply imagined the whole thing, then I had decided I’d go backpacking across Europe to make up for it.
I finished double knotting my sneakers (blue and white cross trainers, if you cared), and walked into the apartment’s tiny bathroom to take stock of my appearance: I wore a navy blue polo and grey slacks for my first impression, which probably wouldn't be helped by my five-o'clock shadow and crooked glasses. I've got dark brown hair, thick eyebrows, and eyes of the same green as worn out dollar bills. My short hair was a little messy, but I didn't dare fool with it, for fear that it would start standing up at weird angles. I switched the bathroom light off and took a deep breath. It was almost time.
Back in my bedroom, I opened the rucksack I’d bought just in case my visit became extended, either by choice or if the portal closed behind me. I'd be upset if that happened, certainly, but not so much that I didn't want to go. The rucksack would be useful if I ended up going to Europe, too, but I hoped beyond hope that I'd have a chance to live every brony's dream instead.
Inside the backpack were several days worth of clothes, a laptop, a laptop charger, an iPhone charger, a small flashlight, a pack of rechargeable batteries (and their charger), a small solar charger to plug the devices into, a survival guide, a vegetarian's guide, two companion Swiss Army knives, a small medical kit, a waterproof sleeping bag, a week's worth of military MREs and water, a box of Snickers chocolate bars and various other things recommended by survival guides online. If you were to look under all the other supplies, you'd also find my .40 HK compact and holster, hidden alongside two boxes of 50 center fire pistol cartridges and several empty magazines.
It had taken the better part of the week debating with myself before I had decided to bring my handgun along. Better to have it and not need it, I'd decided, than get mauled by a pack of timber wolves or an Ursa Minor. I didn't have to shoot them, either, as a few warning shots would probably shoo them off easily enough.
On my phone were several new games (just in case) and a working library of kindle books. On my computer were more games than I'd cared to list, as well as a downloaded version of the Wikipedia website, alongside several electronic college textbooks. "Be prepared" is a famous motto and way of life for a reason: it has saved the lives of many a traveler, and has saved countless hours of frustration for those who follow it.
I remember reading that online somewhere.
I hauled the rucksack over my shoulders and ensured that I had my wallet and phone in my pockets. The letter to my family and friends was on my bed explaining how I ran off to Europe in case I couldn't come back. My front door was locked, and the bills were paid for the next month. I was on extended leave from work. The air conditioning was off. No more stalling. I stood in front of the portal to Equestria ,and took a last moment to review my story and "plans."
My name is Thomas Johnson. I would not talk about my gun or knife unless specifically asked or unless I was forced to use either one of them. I would give up meat until I could find out if griffons (or dragons, or dogs for that matter) were omnivores as well. If they weren't, I'd give up meat entirely... if I could. If I found myself stuck in Equestria, I would accept my fate and do whatever I could with my life. If I was requested to leave and never come back by the royal family, I would accept that fate to protect Equestria from myself and the remaining members of humanity.
I replaced the determined look on my face with a grim smile. The time had come to accept my insanity with open arms. I opened the door to Equestria. It was the stone broom closet I had hoped for. I took a deep breath, stepped through and closed the door behind me.
I suppose it was a symbol of closing the last world behind me when I closed the door, but I started to regret it immediately nonetheless. Was I really ready to just walk away from my entire life forever like that? That question came to my mind second, right after, Why is the room pitch black?
Thinking about it led to another, more useful question, Why was this room lit in the first place? To which the answer, I supposed, was obvious enough.
I'd left the lights on back in my apartment. Great.
I took my phone out and turned on the LCD screen, resolving to move the flashlight out of my bag and into easy reach when I had a moment free. It revealed the empty castle closet, plus one human. The door I had come through was now a solid wall of stone, unremarkable save for the brass handle that matched the one on my closet door back home. I tried to turn it, but it was locked. I merely nodded. I was likely to be here for a good long while, then.
I brought my face back into a determined smile, hoping to make a good first impression, and exited the other door of the Equestrian broom closet further into the castle. The hallway was well lit by the sunlight coming in through the tall, open windows to one side of the elegant hall. I tightened the straps of my rucksack and looked out one of them. It revealed a courtyard where several guards were patrolling. I was on the first floor, just inside the castle gardens' courtyard entrance. Well, what better way to make myself known to Equestria than to reveal that I've successfully broken into the castle unnoticed?
I hopped through the window and began to approach the nearest guard. My heart was beating at a million miles an hour, but I try to maintain my light smile. First contact. This should be good.
"Good afternoon!" I called to the guard in what I could only hope sounded like a good-natured yell. The burly white pegasus turned towards me with that obligatory "stern-face" all the guards seemed to carry. It was very quickly replaced with momentary surprise, and then something akin to anger. I'd say the first thing it made me think was going through his navy-blue-haired head went something like, this is a potential threat to the castle. Prepare to respond violently if necessary.
I quickly slowed to a stop and gave him a bigger smile. I held up my hands and offered something close to the truth as an explanation before he decided it would be better if the conversation continued while I was behind bars, saying, "Good afternoon, Sir. I'm a foreign diplomat, and... I appear to have gotten myself lost. I was going to see if I could make an appointment with Her Highness Princess Celestia, or Her Highness Princess Luna. Would you be able to assist me?"
I wasn't sweating bullets yet, but I had a feeling I would be soon. I'm a decent liar, but there's only so much you can do about being a human in a city full of ponies. If he decided I was a threat, things were going to go sour for human-pony relations.
He considered me for a while. He gave me a once over, then another, and then began all but gawking. A few moments later, I cleared my throat. The guard looked me in the eyes again, gave his head a slight shake, looked away and closed his eyes, rubbing them.
I suppose I should put things into perspective as to why I was giving the guard a headache.
First of all, the guard was pastel colored and had outlines. While he stared at me, I took a moment to appreciate the environment and the smooth shapes it held. They were simple and uncomplicated shapes, and everything else was pastel colored, from the various pony-shaped shrubberies to the statue of Discord. Everything was simple, as you might expect a flash-based world to be.
I on the, other hand, was still covered in the various shades, colors and details our world is filled with. My rucksack alone-
That was the statue of Discord!
My smile fell away. There it was, twenty feet from the castle, instead of in the Canterlot Sculpture Garden! Last time there was chaos and fighting around him, season two started with a chaotic bang. Umm...
"S-sir?" I asked, staring at the statue intently, "I've heard bad things about what happens when there's any chaos around that statue. Could we go inside? Perhaps to tell Princess Celestia that I'm here?"
The guard's head shot up to me again, his eyes wide. Cartoon wide. He looked over to where I had indicated, then quickly back to me. With a quick shake of his head, his eyes returned to "normal" size. When he finally spoke, his voice was gruff, saying, "I'll lead you to the royal court, where you may wait while I inform Her Highness that you've arrived."
Short, sweet and to the point. I put a smile back on my face and gestured for him to lead on. He looked in the general direction of the statue again for a moment, as if dazed, then came to again and began walking towards a large doorway leading back into the castle. I heaved a quiet sigh of relief and began to follow him. First contact was successful so far. I had an escort to the royal court, or the throne room, or wherever Celestia (or Luna) would speak to me. The first hurdle was over. Next would be the most difficult step: convincing Royalty to give me permission to stay in the country. Hopefully the princesses hadn't dealt with conquering humans before, or better yet with humans at all.
The first room we entered into was the ballroom that had hosted the Best Night Ever. I can't really describe how I felt at that moment. The closest description I can give is that I felt like a devout catholic, stepping onto the holy ground of the Vatican for the first time. I forgot everything and stood there, awed. It might be cliched, but I wanted the moment to last forever.
Right. Because the world is always fair like that.
The guard cleared his throat, and continued to lead me through the grandiose Castle Canterlot, where the he and I passed several other patrolling guards. Every time we passed one, they fell in line around me without a word. I kept that smile plastered to my face, working hard to keep my nerves under control. The good feelings were gone. Hopefully step two wouldn't be as hard as I thought. If they decided to fight me, there would be little for me to do but get my ass handed to me. They outnumbered four to one already, and were presumably trained for battle with things like me. The day was shaping up to be interesting no matter what happened, though. Be it in Canterlot castle, in Ponyville, heck, even in the dungeons, I was standing in Equestria. How many people do you know that could claim that they'd traveled here?
The door we approached reached to the ceiling, twenty feet high, an ancient oaken monster gilded in gold and seemingly thicker than a bank vault's walls. Two guards stood at attention before it. They saw our group, where a grand total of five guards walked in a loose formation around me as an escort. All the guards clearly had their attention on me, save for the guard who I had met in the gardens. He stopped before the door, and traded some significant look with one of the door guards. That guard turned back to me with the same expression that I'd seen on literally every guard in the palace thus far, and asked who he was to announce.
I broadened my smile, and offered jokingly, "Sir Awesome McCoolname."
The guard's grimace curdled, and he asked in a tone that in no way indicated he deeply wished to murder me, "Ok. Who should I actually announce you as?"
"Uh, Thomas. Thomas Johnson."
Without another word, the guard left his post and entered the room, closing the door behind himself. The guard I had met in the gardens took his place, but for the life of me I wouldn't have known which of these guards was which if I hadn't been paying attention. He looked exactly like the guard who had gone in to announce me. If they shuffled around, I don't think I'd have been able pick either of them from any of the other guards surrounding me!
Am I a guard pony racist? I mused to myself.
One of the guards in front of the door gave me a nod, then turned his attention forward again. The door opened fully. I'll take that as my cue, then.
As I entered the doorway I saw the grand Princess Celestia herself. Sitting on the throne from the intro to the show. Smiling at me. I smiled back at her. None of the guards' expressions changed from their surly expressions in the least, and the two dark grey unicorns standing at attention before Celestia's throne regarded me cautiously.
There's nothing quite like being brought before the Princess as an unofficial prisoner, eh?
She nodded at the guards, who gave me some room. They don't break formation or just walk away, but they weren't crowding me anymore, either. That didn't make it any less uncomfortable a situation.
Celestia spoke first, her voice kind and reassuring. "Welcome to Canterlot. I've heard that you're the foreign diplomat, Thomas. It's too bad you hadn't sent along that you were coming, or more proper accommodations mght have been made for your stay, however long. Please forgive the guards, but as you may have heard we recently repelled another attack by the changelings. They haven't given you too hard a time, have they?"
I did my damnedest to keep my face as straight as hers was. If she wasn't going to be thrown off by my arrival, then by God, I wasn't either! Diplomacy is taking any situation and moving with it, getting through without a fight. As the face of humanity, I will not fuck this up!
"They've been extremely courteous, as have you. I'm sorry that I didn't send word along that I was coming, but I didn't have much in the way of... getting the message to you," I finished with half a moment's thought. "As for how long I'll be staying, I suppose that's why I'm here. I wanted to see if I would be allowed to remain in Equestria."
Celestia looked confused for a moment. With an eyebrow raised slightly, she asked, "Why would you need to ask me personally about remaining in Equestria?"
Um... What? Because I'm not pastel-colored and am very obviously not from around here?
"Forgive me..." I started slowly, "but I'm not familiar with Equestria's foreign policies. Am I not... Well, to be blunt, odd looking to you?"
Celestia gave a light chuckle. "I was wondering a little about that, actually. Normally you humans get an appearance spell placed on you in your village in the Everfree Forest before exploring Equestria. Why haven't you?"
What.
Does not... Human village... WHAT?!
The FUCK?!
My facial expression was probably hilarious right then, if Celestia's smile was any indication. Good for her enjoying the situation. I on the other hand, was struggling to keep my shit together.
Humans. Already in Equestria. Village in the Everfree. Appearance spell. Pony princess is laughing at me. Guards preparing to stab me if I move suddenly. My face looks hilarious.
I stopped thinking. I took an even stance and held my hands in front of my stomach in a monk's pose. For those not in the know, it's the same one you might use if gathering a huge store of energy. I gathered my calm instead.
A deep breath. Inhale. Exhale. Calm. Let the emotion fall away. You are calm. There is nothing wrong, and if there is something wrong there is a simple solution for it. Inhale. Exhale. Calm. Let it all fall away.
I opened my eyes again and dropped my hands to my sides. The room could have been on fire, but I would still have been at peace. There was an accepting smile on my face, one that you might see when a family member looks fondly at another. Calm.
Years of practice paying off right here.
I turned my smile and attention back to the Princess. Her expression had become unreadable. I set that aside as a problem to think on later. For now, I believed the truth was in order, no matter the consequences.
"Sorry if I freaked out for a moment there. To tell the truth, we're working here on different assumptions. I thought that I would be one of the only, if not the only, human in Equestria. I'm not from the Everfree. I actually entered the castle through a portal the opens in the broom closet near where Discord's statue is right now. I d-"
"Near Discord's statue? I wasn't aware there were any closets near the Statue Gardens."
Celestia wasn't smiling. She'd stopped when I said the draconequus' name. Another problem for another time. Calm.
"Discord's statue is twenty feet from the castle. I haven't been in Canterlot long enough to visit the Statue Gardens, so I don't know where that is, but-"
"Guards!" Celestia ordered. "Find Discord's Statue and return it to the magical stasis field in the Statue Gardens!"
One of Celestia's unicorn guards called to the others to follow him to the statue. Wait, does that mean that he did his job wrong by not instantly mentioning that little fact to Celestia?
The guards left me and the princess alone in the throne room. Stay calm?
I guessed I should still try to plead my case, even if I'm now connected to Discord in Celestia's mind. This should be fun.
"...um, Your Highness? Sorry to be the bearer of bad news. Has this happened before?"
"Yes, I'm afraid it has," She admitted with a sigh. "Discord has brought you to this world to use you for his own ends. You and most of the others from Earth. He's escaped twice this way so far, and he doesn't appear to be stopping any time soon. I'm sorry that he's trapped you here. If it's any consolation, you are absolutely free to stay in Equestria, and I'm sure that the Elements of Harmony would be willing to meet you. You know of them, yes?"
She sounds like she's trying to give me a treat, anything to soften the blow. Good thing I half expected this. Doesn't mean I haven't lost my friends and family, though.
Stay calm. Go with it. Don't freak out, in a good or bad way. Facts. Logic. Inner peace.
"Does this mean the the portal back to my room is likely already gone?"
Celestia nodded sadly, looking at me as one might a sad, orphaned child. Well, at least I had prepared for this, right? But first, trust but verify. My mind demanded proof of the facts.
"If you don't mind, I'd like to see where the portal used to be. It'll help cement that I won't be leaving. May I?"
Celestia nodded. She gave me another light smile. Without another word, I turned to leave. Celestia however, wasn't quite done.
"Thomas? If you'd like to talk about suddenly appearing here, I've the time to talk to you about it, or about Equestria. I understand that things may not be as you expect them to be. If you've any questions, feel free to ask."
Cool as that is, you have a priority. Save it for later. Verify the facts now.
"Perhaps we could talk after I check to see if I'm not able to go home. That'll change what we talk about, I'm sure. After all, this may yet become a short vacation, eh?"
She kept smiling, but her heart wasn't in it. She knew better. I'm stuck here, and that's just how the cookie crumbles. Or how the banana splits. To the moon?
I smiled at my little joke. Friendship is Magic, Bitch!
"Of course. Lead on, my little..." she stopped her almost automatic answer for a moment. After all, I wasn't one of her little ponies.
"Pony," I supplied. "If you don't ask me to replace everybody with everypony, I'll not ask you to do the reverse while I'm around. Shall we?"
I turned again. Royalty or not, I was getting a little antsy. If I got here via Discord, then why'd his portal wait for me to pack a bag after I saw Celestia the first time?
As I left the throne room, I heard the hoof-clops of the princess following me. Probably to make sure I wouldn't get lost, physically or emotionally. I began to walk back the way the guards led me. For around the first three turns. Hmm. How'd we get here again?
Oh yeah. Your helpful guide Princess Celestia is probably still right there.
Freak out at how awesome this is after ensuring I'm still trapped here. I had to keep my priorities straight until my forced calming wore off. Then I'd laugh or cry, depending on the mood at the time.
"Your highness? I can't remember the way back, exactly. Could you take me to the hall that the Grand Galloping Gala took place in? The one that was destroyed by rampaging animals?"
Celestia walked up beside me, half a grin on her face.
"I must say, I'm not sure I'll ever get used to how some of you know so much about this world, despite having never been here yourselves. It's not far. You're going the wrong way, however."
The rucksack on my back started feeling heavier. I've got twenty bucks on the guards having led me in a circle while Celestia prepared to meet me, or something. That, or my sense of direction sucked. Wait, we had only walked past other guards in the halls! How could they have sent ahead that I was here?
"Am I? My mistake. I thought that this was the way they brought me."
I grabbed the straps of my backpack and pulled, rearranging it on my back as Celestia led me back to the room that exploded at the Gala. From there, I walked past her and into the gardens.
The first and most obvious thing I noticed about the garden was the plethora of guards. They appeared to be doing some form of drill, marching in an orderly formation around where I had pointed out Discord's statue for the first guard. The second thing I noticed was a significant lack of said statue.
I walked past the guards towards the window (which all but instantly ruined the march when around half of the guards turned to stare at me or salute the princess) that I had stepped out of before meeting my first Equestrian. I stepped through it and take a quick look around. There it was. The door to the unused closet. It was time to find out if I could choose to go home. I walked up to it slowly, and turned the knob. In vain. The door was locked.
I turned to see a bemused Princess Celestia stepping into the hallway through a window. "Had you mentioned that this was where you were going, we could have gone through the castle, you know."
"Yeah... Truth be told I climbed out of that window to speak to the first guard I saw before someone else found me. I don't know my way around the castle, or where we are right now. That's not important. What is important is that this door is locked. This is where I came in through to get to Equestria."
Celestia looked at me like I was high. "What door?"
I looked back at it. Yes, it was a door. The handle was right there. I reached out and grabbed the handle, trying again to turn it. Still locked. Which was odd, since there wasn't keyhole that I can see. Of course, it didn't help that Celestia just plain didn't see the door.
I gestured at it and pointed out the obvious. "I see a door that you don't see. Behind this door is a small empty room, and in that empty room is the portal that brought me here. ...If this door isn't here, and was only here because of Discord's influence, then why can I still see it?"
Celestia walked over to stand before the door. She leaned towards it and her horn began to glow a ripe banana yellow. She closed her eyes, and appeared to be deep in concentration. I waited.
Five minutes later, I took the rucksack off my back and took a bottle of water out of it. Celestia hadn't moved. I broke the seal and took a long drink of the refreshing water. I take a moment to wonder why I had decided to bring all this food and water to Equestria. Hadn't I already known that I'd be coming to Canterlot? Maybe next time...
Next time? I stopped for a moment and realized that there wasn't going to be a next time. I wasn't going to see my friends or family again. I wasn't going home, probably ever. And I wasn't going to turn off the lights in my apartment. As far as anyone would know, I fled to Europe and died in a ditch. I'm here now. What I have is what I have, and that's it.
Well... at least I brought some books and technology from home, right?
After a moment's thought, I realized that I probably had a few pictures of my family on my phone. I quickly took it out and typed in my password. It gave an audible click, and revealed the home screen. I opened my camera and scrolled through the photos. There's one. A family photo. Before Dad's second divorce. It was taken at Christmas, and everyone had stopped auguring only long enough for the flash to wear off before they started fighting again. I'd taken this photo, and I wasn't in it. Thinking back, I probably wasn't in any of their photos. I was always the one taking them.
I held the phone to my chest and closed my eyes. I didn't regret coming here. Not yet.
I looked at Celestia, who still hadn't moved. That's it, I'm setting a timer. If she didn't move in two minutes, I was going to wake her up. I set a timer on my phone, and finally realized something odd about my phone: It had service.
…
Ok. There are other people in Equestria, and I have cell coverage.
I stopped for a moment and simply waited for my mind to absorb that.
My phone's alarm went off before I could. I set the thought aside as something that I might truly not want the answer to, and moved closer to Celestia to check on her and the door. It was still locked and she wasn't moving. Her horn was still glowing. I snapped my fingers near her ear. Nothing.
This could be bad.
I poked her lightly in the side. No reaction.
Check that. This could he extremely bad.
I carefully opened up one of Celestia's eyes. It focused on me in an instant. I gave her a slight wave. Her eye moved all over the place, panicked, but her entire body otherwise didn't move. She focused back on me a moment later.
Suffice it to say something was obviously wrong. Score one for captain obvious.
"Move your eyes up and down if you can hear me."
Up and down her eye went.
"Are you stuck?"
Up and down.
"I'm not good at twenty questions. I'm getting a guard."
Faster done than said. I leaned out the window and yelled for a guard. They rushed into the hallway from all directions, and I quickly lost count. The hall was quickly filled with grey unicorns and albino pegasi.
The grey unicorns broke off Celestia's spell in a heartbeat, and she collapsed to the floor. The pegasi cornered me as Celestia collapsed, and a Pegasus held a wing to my throat. In hindsight, I probably should have called them sooner.
"Guys, I didn't-"
A large Earth pony from nowhere slammed into me, and I fell backwards into the stone castle wall. The world exploded as my head took the brunt of the collision.
I woke up to a smell like cat piss, to the cold of the rock ground, to a powerfully pounding headache, and to near darkness. All I could reliably see were the bars that made up the wall in front of where I lay, thanks to a torch on a wall in the dank hallway.
It wasn't not a pleasant way to wake up on a Saturday.
I groaned as I sat up, trying to hold my head together. I felt much lighter, and it didn't take long to realize that they had taken my bag. A quick feel of my pocket showed that I still had my phone, which was a relief in any case. Any silver lining can improve morale.
Like having a happy cellmate.
I practically jumped out of my shoes, scrambling away from the sudden low chuckle from the far corner. In the dim light I couldn't make out more than a dark figure sitting upright on a cot. I crouched into a fighting stance, and asked who he was.
"Who am I?" the shadow mused. "My name was Alexander. It probably still is, now that I think about it. Honestly, I'm surprised that you haven't heard of me. Isn't the first thing they tell you when you fall out of the sky or wake up in a field 'Don't be like Alexander?' I thought it'd be a motto by now."
He sounded bored, but he didn't move while he spoke. As my eyes adjusted to the light, I tried to make out more details about him. I was interrupted by him getting to his feet and taking a step towards me. He looked tall and huge.
"You're in my cell."
It wasn't a threat, so much as a statement of fact.
The man walked past me and to the cell door, manacles around his ankles clanking as he did. Getting closer to the light revealed more about of his features: he stood almost a full head over me as I crouched, and looked like he weighed over 300 pounds, bulk rather than fat. His face was covered partly by a cowl, but what I could see appeared slightly scarred and mean. He looked like he wore a perpetual scowl.
He didn't turn his back to me as he reached into his pocket, producing something small. He reached his hands through the cell door's bars, and I heard metal scraping. Only a few moments later, I heard a loud click of some mechanism turning, and he shoved the cell door open wide.
"Get out of my cell. Find another one to call home. Or run. I don't care either way, so long as you GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY CELL! NOW!"
I bolted past him and into the hallway, only to stop with the loud crash of his cell door. I turned back. He had locked himself inside. He eyed me as I stood in the cell hall, trying to figure out why he stayed where he was.
"What, are you lost? It's that way," he pointed, "to get out of here. They don't have many cells. Won't take long to walk out."
I shook my head, still throbbing slightly from being introduced to the castle walls. Why was this guy helping me? "Why-"
"Because I didn't know," he interrupted. "Nobody told me. I didn't take the time to find out because there shouldn't have been anything to find out."
That... didn't answer my question at all.
I held my head with a hand and felt the back of my head. It felt tender, but not horrible. I didn't want to get into a fight with any more guards, or at least any that were so one-sided.
Could this guy, Alexander, tell me how long ago the guards had brought me here?
"Could you-"
"I guess. Hell, I don't need it. Most locks here are worthless anyway." Alexander tossed me something, and I caught it, barely. "Just turn it. Nine times outta ten you'll get in."
I looked at the small scrap in my hands, a cool, thin, serrated piece of metal with a cloth handle tied on. The blade had what I hoped was rust caked to the sides. It reminded me somewhat appropriately of a prison shiv.
It was at that point that I decided I wanted to stay well away from Alexander, no matter what happened from that moment on. I'm not sure why it took me that long to figure that one out, but better late than never.
I wrapped the shiv (or lock-pick, if Alexander was to be believed) in the cloth that served as a handle and pocketed it. I whispered a small "thank you" and started quickly walking away. I didn't look back, but I could almost feel Alexander's eyes on me the whole way down the hall.
He was right about the size of the dungeon, if nothing else. I only passed five cells before reaching a small room with a wooden table and some stools. The only door, a thick slab of smooth iron, was locked. There was no keyhole on this side.
I sat down on one of the short, wooden stools and tried to gather my thoughts around my throbbing headache. There was plenty to think about, and none of it good. The guards thought that I had done something to Celestia. It was bad enough that they had locked me in a cell with a lunatic, even though every other cell I had passed was empty. Said lunatic had given me a knife, or lock pick, stained with blood. I was about a million miles from home, and I wasn't so happy to be here anymore.
The light sound of hooves clopping on stone sounded from the door. A few muffled voices argued on the other side. The metal door glowed a dark shade of blue and rose slowly into the ceiling, allowing me to hear princess Luna's voice continue, "-than a few humans to threaten us. We shall enter alone." Her tone was final as she walked through the doorway, her horn glowing brightly in the otherwise dim room. The light from it cut off the moment she saw me, dropping the door loudly to the ground. I winced and held my hands over my ears while I begged the sharp sound to stop ringing in my ears.
Luna regarded me with narrowed eyes. "Much has changed in a thousand years, but even now we think that prisoners are meant to be in cells whilst awaiting interrogation in the dungeons."
I gulped. Celestia may have been feeling sorry for me, but her sister seemed to think otherwise. Could I blame her?
"Alexander kicked me out of his cell."
Luna's narrowed eyebrows rose and her eyes grew wide. She looked from me to the hallway. "Hmph. The guards we told to imprison you risked much by securing you with that... thing. Has it done you any permanent harm?"
"Uh, no. No, he didn't."
Luna turned back from the hallway to sit at the table across from me. "Be grateful. Others have not been so lucky.”
Luna shook her head and focused intently on me. “We need you to cooperate. This shan't take long.”
Luna's horn started glowing light blue again, and the world spun.
***
I was on a beach, sitting in a folding chair with a mimosa.
"Why are you here?" the waves asked.
I stood up and walked into the waves, preparing to take a swim.
The sand fell beneath my feet, and I landed in the ocean, saltwater the only thing I could see for miles. I picked a direction and started swimming. The waves began to grow restless, and the skies filled with grey clouds. I struggled against my cold, exhausted limbs as the waves grew higher and the sky darkened over. Rain began to fall in sheets, lightning flashed and thunder roared. I fought the storm for as long as I could, but eventually my body gave out and I sank, unable to breathe as I sank to the bottom of the ocean.
***
I was sitting on a small hill in the snow, light snowflakes in the air and the sun setting gently over a mountain, the only thing in sight other than the snow.
"Why are you here?" the snowflakes asked.
I lay back and began to make a snow angel. The sun set, and the temperature dropped swiftly. I tried to dig in against the darkness, but the snow revealed stone only inches beneath the surface. Determined, I started making my way toward the mountain. The blizzard wasted no time in using the darkness to fullest advantage, cutting my view to mere feet in front of me and icing me down to the bones. Still, I kept walking toward the mountain in hopes of finding a cave. I was still walking when the bear tackled me and wasted no time in tearing out my throat.
***
The sun shined clearly overhead, the shifting sands beneath my feet a clear contrast to... Something.
"Why are you here?" the rolling hills asked.
I began to dig, using my hands to push the dirt away as best I could. I could feel, rather than see, that a sandstorm was brewing in the distance. I wasn’t going to have long before it appeared. Progress was slow, but even as the sandstorm appeared I knew that I’d make it. I took my shirt off and began to wrap it around my head, shading-
"Stop fighting us! Tell us why you are here!"
"GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" I screamed, my head pounding harder than before. The pain overpowering, I fell into the hole in the sand, and felt something trickle down my face. My ears and nose were bleeding.
***
I laid gasping on the table, holding my head as tightly as I could under my arms. My eyes wouldn't focus. The pain had been excruciating, but it was slowly fading away now. My vision eventually cleared enough to reveal Luna still sitting across from me, her horn no longer glowing. The jackhammer in my head convinced me that trying to put as much distance between her and me wasn't an option, so I covered my eyes and waited for the pain to stop.
"Hmph. We were told that humans were prepared against mental viewing, but resorting to bleeding through your nose will only stay us for so long."
"That's enough, Luna."
I brought my head up to the stern voice, spying Celestia in the doorway. The blood threatened to rush from my head, so I dropped it lightly back into my arms on the table and did my best not to whimper. Normally I'm pretty good with pain, but I couldn't feel my teeth. Why couldn't I feel my teeth? I was gritting them hard enough...
"Sister!" Luna? exclaimed. I think. It was pretty loud. "Why aren't thou under bed rest, as thy doctors ordered? Thou surely doesn't wish to participate in thy attacker's interrogation?"
Why did Luna have to be so loud?
Celestia answered her slowly, like there was something in her throat, or like she had cracked a few ribs. Or something. I think she said, "Thomas didn't attack me. Discord tricked me into activating a trap he had laid on a hidden door in the castle. Thomas was just his pawn. He didn't know. And unless I'm mistaken, he's also suffering from a concussion."
The room got real quiet. It didn't stay that way for long enough, 'cus Luna started talking again, except she sounded kinda panicked. I know it was Luna 'cus she was real loud. And she didn't sound like Celestia.
"I'm so sorry, sister! I didn't know he had an injury to his brain! I-"
And then she stopped. Something must have happened. Something bony touched me in the back of the head, and I felt really warm.
And then, slowly, the pain drained away. The warmth retreated, leaving me cool, and I felt a light breeze against my neck. Whatever had been pressed against my head retreated, and I realized that I could think clearly again. I slowly brought my head up, blinking a few tears away from my eyes.
They must have been dry, or something.
The room came back into focus, and I saw both of the Princesses looking at me with concern. I quickly wiped my eyes, and wiped the blood away from my nose and lips. I gave a slight nod to them, unsure of what else to do.
Celestia looked at her sister, who seemingly wilted under the gaze. Luna whispered something that sounded vaguely like an apology, so I murmured back that it wasn't a problem. Really. It wasn't. She wasn't rooting around in my head or anything.
I felt like I needed to take a long, cold shower. If the sweat under my pits was any indication, I mean. I forgave Luna. Really.
Really.
I just wasn't looking at her because the floor was interesting. It looked a little like cobblestone, from Minecraft.
Finally, Celestia cleared her throat. I looked up to her, as did her sister, and she gave me another apologetic smile on her sister's behalf. "Would you like to move somewhere less... cold? It's quite dank down here, and I'm sure lunch will be ready soon."
I gritted my teeth and tightened my lips. I looked Celestia in the eyes, then back down at the table, exhaling through my nose. I nodded a few times. Lunch sounded nice.
As we rose to leave, Luna kept her eyes downcast. Her horn glowed light blue again. The door also glowed blue as it rose out of the ground, and the three of us stepped through. None of us said another word as we walked, passing empty hallways and climbing two staircases before eventually passing through a tall set of doors into a private dining hall. We didn't pass another soul on the way, and nobody was waiting for us in the brightly lit room.
I had been too deep in thought to do more than walk, but now that we were here, I tried to wake up mentally. I took stock of the room: it was medium-sized, like an extended family room, with six well-cushioned chairs sitting around the centerpiece of the room, a slightly elongated and elegant table. There seemed to be a single servant's entrance to my right, the right of the entrance, and the walls were adorned with various tapestries of shapes and colors but not scenes or anything discernible. There was a fireplace on the left wall, but it wasn't lit. There weren't any windows.
Celestia and Luna went to the table as I took in the room, and waited patiently for me. I walked over and sat with my back to the far wall. Celestia and Luna both sat as I did, across from each other at the far end of the table. Celestia sat with her back to the servant's entrance, and Luna sat with her back to the fireplace. Normally I would have asked why they waited for me to pick a chair first, but at the moment my mind was starting to wander. I brought it back by suddenly making my observation from the hall known.
"You know, it's funny. I kind of thought that Canterlot castle would have been more busy. You know, being the capitol and all."
Celestia gave me another of her trademark smiles, slightly worn down from her experience yesterday (if my internal clock was right). "I've asked that the way be cleared for you, actually. As you may have noticed, you're still about as detailed as a platoon of crystal ponies," she admitted.
"Oh. What's a crystal pony?"
Celestia shook her head slightly. "Sorry. Some of you humans seem to know more about our history than the average equestrian, but I suppose that was reaching a bit far. What I mean to say is that you're rather... how do I put it? You're shaded, I think the term is."
"You mean you didn't want any ponies to see me because I'm made up of dozens or hundreds of shades of colors, right?"
I looked down at myself, noticing for the first time that my brown slacks had gotten some dust on them. I brushed them off, and the particles seemed to vanish into a cartoon-y cloud. Interesting.
"That's right. While my sister and I have seen many interesting things over the years, some ponies might be put off by your rather vivid appearance. As I said, humans normally have a spell placed on themselves while exploring away from the Everfree forest, so as not to upset the average citizen. Either that, or they disguise themselves as ponies, to make themselves more approachable."
I nodded. "Makes sense. But just to clarify, you just said 'disguise themselves as ponies,' right? Um... how? Is it permanent?"
Luna, otherwise silent, suddenly started concentrating very hard on her sister. Apparently, she wanted to know, too.
Celestia tilted her head for a moment, as if in thought. "No, it's not permanent, not unless you choose never to change back. Perhaps it would be easier if I showed you, rather than told you. I understand that some of you humans are very interested in finding out what it's like to be a pony, right?"
I nodded, my mouth suddenly dry. Thoughts of fanfictions flashed through my mind, as did the thoughts of Mary Sue blood-red or pitch-black Alicorns with unlimited power. Cutie marks of machine guns and bloody swords flashed through my head, names like "Badass McKill-Em-All" and "Epic Death Rape" causing me to shudder slightly. "Something like that..."
Celestia noticed my trepidation, and knitted her brows in confusion.
"Is something wrong?"
I shook my head, trying to get it clear. "Nothing too important. What kind of pony am I going to be?"
Celestia chuckled. "Getting cold feet, are we?" She asked, amused. "Don't worry, Thomas. It'll be your choice as to what kind of pony you become, short of an alicorn. I was actually going to ask you that next."
Fair enough. I rubbed my chin in thought, through my now-scruffier stubble. I guess it came down to one real question, thinking about it, so I asked it.
"If I become a unicorn, will I be able to use any magic?"
Celestia nodded. "Whatever your talent, you'll be strongest with that type, or field, of magic. Even so, any unicorn with enough drive can learn nearly any spell. It just takes time and effort, as well as a touch of understanding. If what I hear is correct, there's a special school in your village in the Everfree where you can learn whatever magic you wish."
Well, I'm sold. Magic? Hell yes, I wanted to be able to perform magic!
"In that case, I'd like to become a unicorn."
Celestia nodded again. "Come here." I did. "Kneel." I did. "Hold still, and picture yourself in your mind."
"Um, as I am now, or as I want to be?"
"As you want to be."
I looked over at Luna, who suddenly became somewhat self-conscious. I remembered what I had seen in the mirror yesterday, with my brown hair and green eyes, and I also tried to think of the larger guards who had caught me or Big Macintosh, or maybe Doughnut Joe. I tried melding the images together in my mind, and came up with something I thought was OK.
"I... I think I'm ready."
Celestia closed her eyes, and leaned in closer to me. She placed her horn onto my forehead (it felt like a knuckle bone), and it began to glow that same banana yellow. I closed my eyes and kept concentrating on having a horn, like Luna, being a large figure and having brown hair. A few moments later, I felt like I had been out in the sun for far too long. My legs felt like jello, and I was forced to lift my knees as they bent the wrong way painlessly; It was as though they had suddenly become double jointed for that moment. I felt the strangest sensation near my forehead, like it was suddenly moving forward. I fell forward, on my hands, and suddenly realized that I hand't decided what color I wanted to be.
The heat faded as suddenly as it had appeared, and I heard Celestia step back. Which was weird, because I could still feel my hands, and still felt like I was kneeling on the ground. Except that my legs were in front of me instead of behind. Besides that, I felt... normal. Unchanged, kind of.
"Um..." I um-ed, "can I open my eyes now?"
"Pray tell, sister, did you intend for her to turn out this way?" Luna asked.
"WHAT?!" I all but screamed, opening my eyes. The first thing I noticed was that Celestia was trying, badly, to conceal a grin. That wasn't important. What was, to me, was looking between my legs. I stood on four legs, looked between them and saw... nothing. My crotch was close to seamless. If not for the fact that I could still feel where certain things were, I might have believed Luna. That being said, my seamless crotch had a brown tail behind it, and my navy blue body had that same light outline the rest of the world did. The spell worked.
I looked over at Luna, who seemed to be in a better mood. I shook my head slightly, and gave her back a grin that wasn't entirely faked. "Ha. Ha. Scare the man out of his masculinity, why don't you. What, are my eyelashes long or something?"
I'll admit, I was at least a little happy that she seemed to be in a better mood. Personally, I wanted to take that experience with the dungeon into the back of my mind, lock it in a safe, dig a hole and bury it. I didn't want to think of ponies that way, ever. They were too nice to be bad. That being said... maybe I didn't want to hang out with Luna for a while. Or ever.
Celestia gave me another once over, and made a rather troubling comment in an otherwise neutral tone.
"Hmm. That's odd."
To a man already in fear for his masculinity, that particular line wasn't nice to hear from the pony responsible for my new appearance. I liken the feeling to hearing your doctor saying the same thing, more or less. It's probably not good news.
"What?" I asked, "Did something go wrong? You said this was reversible if something went wrong, right?"
"Hmm?" Celestia asked, staring above my eyes. "Oh, nothing of the sort. Your horn, though..."
Celestia glanced sidelong at her sister, then back at me. "What were you thinking during the spell, exactly?" she asked.
I brought it back to mind easily, as I had been repeating the phrase in my head over and over while the spell was cast. "I was thinking of your larger guards, of my brown hair, and green eyes, I guess, and I thought of having a horn, like Luna-"
"You specifically thought of it 'like Luna?'" Celestia asked, trying to confirm something.
"Uh, yeah..." My heart sank, "Did I do something wrong?"
Celestia shook her head, keeping her eyes on my horn. "Not really. That just confirms what I thought you were thinking. You didn't mention thinking of a color, and you were using Luna's horn as a baseline. Not only that, but you thought of yourself 'like Luna.' Your coat is the same color as hers is, and your horn is about the same size. It's certainly larger than a regular unicorn's. There's nothing wrong, it just stands out somewhat. There's no reason to feel self-conscious about it; Prince Blueblood's horn is around the same size."
I tried to look up at my horn, and had mixed results. I could see it somewhat, but not precisely. I shrugged, unperturbed. If I had a longer horn, fine. Even so, I wanted to get a better look at myself, as someone else might see me. As I prepared to ask for a mirror, Luna suddenly blurted, "So you never found your special talent, then?"
I looked over at her, then followed her eyes back to my flank. It was smooth and bare. Huh. Hadn't thought to check that.
"Luna!" Celestia chastised her sister, "Manners! It's perfectly normal for a human not to be sure of their special talent as soon as they arrive." She turned her attention towards me and tried to placate me, "I'm sorry, Thomas, she didn't mean anything by it."
"If you say so. I'm guessing cutie marks mean a lot more to you guys, er, girls, than it does to us humans. Personally, I never wanted any tattoos, so I guess this just means I'll either get one later or I won't. Life goes on, right?"
Calm is a coping mechanism for the unexpected, and it's one I'm rather fond of. Strange stuff is happening that isn't otherwise dangerous? Roll with it. Kinda cool to see how important Cutie Marks really are, though. To think, bringing them up might be considered insulting!
My next thought went out to the Cutie Mark Crusaders. Hmm. Yeah, I guess I could see why Cutie Marks mattered. They were a right of passage. One I hadn't earned yet. Must have been a sore spot for many an older blank flank. But my thoughts digressed. Something else was bothering me. I looked back at my flank. It was blank. It was also very clearly bare.
"Quick question: Where'd my clothes go?"
Luna said something in "magic." No, I have absolutely no idea what she actually said, word for word, as I had been expecting Celestia to answer me, so don't ask. If I had to guess at it, though, it was something like (and please don't quote me here, as I only half heard how she started), "The body of mass you contained has been temporarily both altered and transformed to another space in reality, anchored to your geolocation, where they're being preserved to the specifications you represented before undergoing transfiguration as par Celestia's spell and your mental image of your final form."
Except she didn't use scientific terms. She used magical ones I wasn't familiar with. She also threw in a couple of numbers here and there. Celestia, however, saw the rather glazed-over look in my eyes, and gave me the quick and dirty translation: "They're kind of like a memory, except they're following you around and can't be forgotten. When you transform back, you'll already be wearing them."
Right. Like I said, I didn't get it at the time, but I'd probably get a chance to understand it later. Besides, I'd probably have a chance to get something to wear sooner or later. I could handle a very brief bout of nudity, provided nobody stared at me.
My stomach growled slightly, and I broke out of my wandering thoughts again. Both Celestia and Luna had heard it.
I sat in the back of the carriage, enjoying the air rushing past my face and the view of Equestria below. Celestia had already sent a letter ahead to Twilight to prepare for a human visit that evening, and shortly thereafter had arranged a sky carriage as my transportation. I wanted a chance to meet the Elements of Harmony as I was now, a pony, to see if I could surprise them when I turned out to be a human later. I figured it might be fun. Celestia agreed not to let them know who I was. She was no stranger to either light hearted jokes or to trying to meet ponies in new ways, so she agreed to keep my secret. Of course, we both knew trying to hide wasn't going to be easy without a cutie mark, so she offered to give me some clothing in the style of my choice from the castle's fitting rooms. I told her that I didn't have much preference in style, but that I really wanted pockets and to have my whole body covered. Apparently the request was somewhat unusual, as the Princess decided to magic some green and grey cloth into some tactical gear for me rather than look for something on hand. After I thanked her, she graciously offered to send my bag ahead to the Everfree Forest while I got dressed. As far as I could tell, nobody had gone through it, so I agreed after pocketing my flashlight. The fitting room triple mirror revealed the gear to be very form fitting, and there were no fewer than ten pockets .
I'm gonna fit right in, I remember thinking. This has got to be the absolute best in subtlety, right up there with fireworks displays and opera singing. But hey, at least I wasn't nude anymore!
I laid down in the carriage for a moment, closing my eyes to think. Lunch had gone pretty well, despite what had happened beforehand. I had ordered a Caesar salad and eaten it with a fork and everything. Of course, I was the only one at the table eating without magic, so I got to learn how to use my hooves to move things around. Long story short, I felt like my hands were still there, so I just grabbed the fork and started eating. Turns out, the only thing I couldn't do easily while moving things with my hooves was to change grips without changing which hoof I was using. I dropped my fork a few times figuring that one out. Other than that, there wasn't any special learning curve; I felt where my fingers were supposed to be, and my hoof provided. It was pretty damned cool, but the uniqueness wore off pretty quickly. I'd been using my hands my whole life, so it was nothing new.
After lunch, Luna headed off to go to bed, having been up for too long. She didn't have to sleep for twelve hours a day, according to her, but she told me she'd prefer to get in somewhere between six and eight hours a day whenever she could. We said our awkward goodbyes and didn't mention anything at all about the things that may or may not have happened before lunch. That was around the time I'd taken Celestia up on her offer to send my bag ahead and take a chance at meeting the Elements of Harmony.
So there I was, riding along the air waves. I would have stayed to talk things over with Celestia, but I realized that she was already wasting a bunch of time on me instead of doing other things she was supposed to be doing, like running the country. I cut out early to go make myself somebody else's problem.
I sat up in the carriage again, looking over the front towards Ponyville. I'd been able to see it, more or less, since we'd left Canterlot Castle, but now I could make out some of the details: First I saw what I thought was the hospital, to the north, then I could make out Twilight's tree library to the west and the Town Hall to the east, and just southeast of that was the Carousel Boutique, and there! Behind those clouds, just outside of the apple orchards, that had to be Rainbow Dash's house! On the south side of town was Sugarcube Corner, and after I saw it I couldn't believe that I hadn't picked it out earlier. Almost farther than my eyes could make out clearly, to the southwest, in the apple orchards, was Applejack's farm.
Of course, I saw the Everfree Forest, too, as a great expanse to the southeast of the village, but I couldn't make out Fluttershy's house from the air. I tried to keep looking, but the two Pegasi pulling the sky carriage had started their descent. I looked at the flying carriage again, still somewhat bewildered over the feeling of flying this way. The closest experience I'd had before this was when I'd gone paragliding; gravity was constantly pulling me down, but the wind kept me in the air. It wasn't like flying in a plane, where the pressurized cabin didn't let you feel the wind in your hair, and the g-forces from take-off weren't nearly as strong in the carriage as they had been in a plane.
The two Pegasi, mindful of Celestia's request to make my arrival subtle, stopped the ride just outside the train station on the north side of town. I thanked them and hopped off of the back of the flying vehicle, and they took off quickly, trying to distance themselves from me. Celestia hadn't wanted anyone's first impression of me to be skewed because I was from Canterlot wearing... whatever style I was wearing.
I took a moment to compose myself as a train approached from a short ways off, also coming from Canterlot. The ponies on it might have come from any of a number of places, but Celestia recommended that I go with the port town of Baltimare as my own place of origin. Having no better idea, I went with it, hoping it wouldn't come up in conversation. Luna's contribution the conversation was my new Equestrian name, Sprightly. Of all the names she recommended, it had seemed to be the least objectionable at the time. Of course, I might have just been biased against her opinions, too.
As the train drew up and came to a complete stop, I stepped onto the platform. The doors opened, and a few ponies got out with their baggage, others slowly trickling out behind them. Having established (in my own mind, and in the sense of timing, at least) that I might have gotten off the train, I finally entered Ponyville proper. Having gotten a pretty good view of things from the sky, I decided that a roundabout walk maximized my chances of running into the Elements of Harmony. I got started, heading towards the closest of their possible locations: Twilight's library.
Pinkie Pie found me first.
I was going over the details in my mind, deciding why I needed to visit the library, when I walked past her. I was concentrating more on what I might have been researching than on where I was going, and I'd have missed her if she hadn't taken a step back to wave at me a second time. I waved back with a muted smile, then kept walking. If I was right, she'd either catch up and stop me or she was in a hurry to get somewhere else. It was, almost inevitably, the former.
"Hiya!" Pinkie greeted, trotting around to get ahead of me, "My name's Pinkie Pie. What's yours?"
I stopped, refused to freak out, and kept the wide smile on my face. "Sprightly," I offered.
"Sprightly what?" Pinkie asked, face beaming and expression eager.
I swear, my heart nearly stopped. It wasn't enough. Only one meeting in, and my name was already going to be my downfall!
Downfall.
Downfall?
Sure, Downfall.
"Sprightly Downfall."
"Downfall?" Pinkie asked, tilting her head sideways.
"Downfall," I confirmed with a solemn nod, deciding to stand by my decision no matter what.
"Soooo... Sprightly! I'll remember that!" Pinkie said with a nod, then started thinking to herself. She sat down in the dirt road and started rubbing her chin with her hoof, clearly stumped by something. Normally I'd have waited for her to take the initiative, being Pinkie and all, but I decided that I couldn't wait. I felt the strange need to become friends with her before moving on, so I tried to get her talking while she thought.
"What are you thinking about, Ms. Pie?" I asked, bemused.
Her eyes stared off somewhere into the distance as she replied slowly, "...Cure-all, narwhal, pitfall, goofball... Just stuff that rhymes with Downfall..."
Oh. She wanted to sing me some rhyme, like she had done with Cranky Doodle Dandy. Nice as that might have been, I didn't want her rhyming with my false name. I felt that it'd be wrong, or something. Instead, I tried to bring the conversation back to her.
"So, are you that Pinkie Pie?" I asked, feigning curiosity.
She jumped back into action quickly enough, her previous train of thought apparently completely derailed. Success! I thought to myself.
"Which Pinkie Pie? I didn't know there was more than one Pinkie Pie! Who are the other Pinkie Pies? I mean, other than Pinkie Pie, I guess, because that's already their name, and it's my name too! Or do you mean that I'm Pinkie Pie, as opposed to someone else? 'Cus I'm definitely Pinkie Pie, except when I'm in trouble, then my parents call me Pinkamena Diane Pie, but my friends all just call me Pinkie Pie. So I just gotta know, am I that Pinkie Pie?"
"You know..." I said with a thoughtful nod, "I think you are. Pleasure to meet you, Ms. Pie."
And then I walked past her, just like Cranky had done.
Oh yeah, I went there.
I didn't laugh, though it took all of my willpower to hold it in. I could actually see the tree library from here, now that I was looking. I started heading towards it, knowing deep down that Pinkie wasn't going to let me pass. I was going to become her friend, whether I wanted to or not.
She suddenly appeared in front of me with a huge smile, and let me know, "It's a pleasure to meet you, too, Sprightly, but you can just call me Pinkie, 'cus that's what all my friends call me! Say, you look like you're looking for friends in town! Can I be the first friend you've found, Sprightly? Pleeeease?"
Cue the puppy-dog eyes. GAWD, with those puppy-dog eyes! Was I still smiling? Yeah, probably, if how much my face already hurt from smiling too wide was any indication. I couldn't avoid it any longer. I just had to say it. Even so, I tried to maintain as much dignity as I could while I did.
"Yeah, sure thing, Pinkie. I'd love to be your friend."
She cheered. I cheered. Heck, random passersby cheered! All in all, not a bad way to start meeting the Elements of Harmony in Ponyville, if I do say so myself. One down, five to go.
"It's been nice meeting you, Pinkie," I said with that same overly enthusiastic smile, trying to get it under control before my facial muscles strained. "Thanks for becoming my first friend in Ponyville. I'm headed to the library to get some research done, so unless you're free, I guess I'll see you later."
"Research? That sounds like Twilight's kind of thing. She's the librarian in town, and the smartest pony I know. If anyone can help you find out what you need to know, it's her. She was at the library when I left, so you should have a chance to talk to her if you hurry. I don't know what else she was planning to do today, but she always has something scheduled, so you might want to get there fast. What are you researching, anyway?"
You know, I expected to have a minute BEFORE getting into the library to confirm what I wanted to know about. A dozen thoughts raced through my mind before one singular idea took the cake. Why not kill two birds with one stone, finding out about the humans hiding in the Everfree? If I had to meet them later anyway, maybe I could figure out what they were like.
"I'm going in to research the species Homo Sapiens, or humans," I said. Pinkie froze. "I've heard rumors that a group of them lives pretty close to this village, somewhere in the Everfree forest. I was hoping to go over everything I already knew, and to maybe learn some more at the library before heading out there to try to meet one. Think I'll have any luck?"
"Maybe..." Pinkie said slowly, "...but if you're thinking about going into the Everfree forest alone, I don't think that's such a good idea. Maybe you should get yourself a guide? I know all the ponies in Ponyville, but the best one to help you find your way out there would probably be... Lyra." Pinkie finished with a nod. "Lyra Heartstrings."
Of course it'd be Lyra, I thought, chuckling inwardly. Who else is always portrayed as the expert on humans? "Sounds like a plan. I'll try to find her after I speak with Twilight. Wish me luck!"
Pinkie did, and then raced off towards the train station. I turned back towards Twilight's Library, and gathered my thoughts. I'm here from Baltimare, researching humans. I've heard rumors that they live in the Everfree. According to Pinkie, who's my new best friend, Lyra's the one I'm going to want to talk to if I want to try to find them. By the end of the day, I want to try to become friends with all of the Elements of Harmony, and then to meet them again as my human self to try to surprise them. I nodded to myself, ignored a few odd looks I was getting from ponies passing by, and started towards the library.
"SPIIIIIIIIIIIKE!" Twilight's voice pierced the air.
I halted halfway through the library's door, hesitant to interrupt Twilight midway through something important. She bolted from one side of the library to the other, looking frantically at different books on the shelves as she did, tossing some of them onto the floor behind her. Rainbow Dash sat on the staircase with a book in one hoof, apparently unperturbed. As Spike jogged down the stairs, she leaned to one side out of his way, not bothering to look away from the page she was on.
"What is it, Twilight?" Spike asked, still jogging towards her. He spied me in the doorway, and waved me inside without stopping. "We'll be with you in a minute," he assured me with an apologetic smile. Twilight didn't notice, too intent on her search.
I finished entering the library, closing the door behind me. The library itself was much smaller than I had expected; there were only maybe a dozen or so full-sized shelves and half that in half sized shelves, with books of various color and size filling most of them. I was used to libraries being the size of grocery stores, with books stacked to the ceiling. Of course, the room might have seemed larger if books weren't strewn haphazardly across the floor, cluttering everything. I shook my head and walked to the center of the room where a circular table sat, a wooden pony head attempting to look regal as the centerpiece. Again, the appearance might have been improved if not for the book it was currently wearing as a hat. I reached up with one hoof, and pulled the book down onto the table in front of me, only half-hearing Twilight yelling at Spike without telling him which book she wanted.
The book I'd pulled seemed illegible, at first glance, but it didn't take me too long to realize that I had it upside down and was looking at the back cover. I flipped it over and read the title: Vladik the Remorseless, by Portman the 2nd. I shook my head, sliding it away. It's probably some adventure novel, or tragedy, or something.
I looked back towards Twilight just in time to catch a face full of book. Surprisingly, it hadn't hurt; the impact had felt like a light knock on my forehead, but nothing more. I expected the book to fall to the ground, but it stayed on my face, apparently stuck. Hmm. I reached up with my hoof and pulled at it with my invisible fingers, but it was stuck firmly to my forehead. It took me a moment to realize that it had caught on my horn, which had speared the book. I leaned my head down to get a better grip, and finally dragged the book off of my horn. When I brought my head back up, Twilight was standing in front of me, concern written cleanly across her face.
"I'm sorry, I was so busy looking for my books that I didn't see you come in. I didn't hurt you, did I?" She asked.
"Nah. Barely felt a thing. Sorry about the book, though; I didn't mean to spear it." I held the book up in front of me, and looked at her through the hole my horn had made. "This isn't the one you were looking for, is it?"
"No, it's not. You're sure you aren't hurt?" Twilight questioned. I shook my head, setting the book down next to the one I had already looked at. "That's good," she continued. "Well, I can find what I'm looking for a bit later. How can we help you, Mr...?"
"Sprightly. I'm just looking to go over any new information you might have for me on humans before heading-"
"Humans?" Rainbow Dash interrupted warily, finally taking notice of me. "What do you want to know about humans?"
"Uh, I'd heard rumors that some of them might be nearby, in the Everfree forest. I just wanted to go over them before trying to go meet one."
Rainbow laughed derisively, folding back the corner of the page she was on and closing her book. "Right. Because the Everfree is sooo safe to travel through alone, even if you weren't out hunting for monsters. What, did you want to go out to dragon territory next, maybe meet a couple of hydras while you were at it?"
"Hey, I resent that!" I faced her. "I can handle myself, and for your information, I was recommended Lyra as a guide already, so I'm not going alone."
"Your funeral," Rainbow said skeptically, standing up. "Hey, I'll see you later, Twi. I've got book five, alright?"
Without waiting for her answer, Rainbow Dash jumped off of the stairs and glided to the door, book in hoof. She opened it and disappeared from sight before I could say another word, leaving the door ajar. I watched regretfully as she left. Well, I'm one for two so far. Could have been worse, I thought, I might have had a chance to lie to her about who I am and why I'm here, too.
Twilight shook her head at her friend's behavior. "Don't mind her, she's just..." Twilight brought up a hoof, moving it in a circle as she thought. "...distracted." She finished lamely. Spike walked over and closed the front door.
"That's... fine." I said with a sigh. I'd catch up with her later. "Twi, she called you? I just wanted to check over anything you might have relating to humans, but you seem pretty busy. If you want, I can go."
Twilight shook her head. "I may be busy, but I always schedule time aside for anyone trying to learn something new. I am the librarian, after all. So, how did we want to go about this? Do you have a good starting point or do you need a full overview on humans?" She turned away, her attention shifting back to the shelves. "I know we have a book around here somewhere on the first human contact, and plenty of articles on behaviors and meetings over the years." She started pulling more books off the shelves, looking through the titles. "You're not the first to try to find out more about them since I moved here from Canterlot. They've become a more popular subject lately."
Spike shook his head and then started gathering books off of the floor to re-shelve. I couldn't be sure, but he seemed annoyed. It probably wasn't the first time he'd had to pick up after Twilight's research today, and judging by how things were moving, it wouldn't be the last. I stepped up next to Twilight as she looked through her selection. She looked over the levitating books one at a time, checking each over. Finally, her face lit up, and she dropped all but one of the books out of her magic hold and onto the ground, where Spike began scooping them up.
"Here's one! Rare Magical Creatures and Their Rare Behaviors! This ought to be a good place to start. So, how long have you been trying to find out more about the Homo Sapiens? How much do you already know?" Twilight asked, sitting on a cushion in the middle of the floor.
I sat down next to her on another conveniently placed cushion, and tried to think back as she flipped through the pages. Call it... ten, maybe fifteen minutes ago I decided to learn more about my own species? "I haven't been trying to find out more for very long, but I know a lot about them that I've picked up over time. I'm actually pretty close to an expert in the field, now that I think about it. Anyhow, I just want to brush up on how to meet one at this point."
Twilight stopped flipping through the book and ended up on a page with a full-sized picture of a human, which looked a lot like Da Vinci's sketch of a man in a circle and square. She looked up into the distance, tapping a hoof against her chin. "Hmm... Meeting a human? Well, I can tell you that it's always kind of... different. And most humans are pretty different, too. Some of them can be really nice, or even too nice. Does that make sense?" She asked. After I nodded, she continued, "Then there are the humans that you may have read about, that you don't want to meet. From everything I've studied, humans can get a little crazy from time to time, but that's normal enough. Other humans, though, are crazy all the time, and they take it to a whole new level. If you think you see one of those, just turn around and try to outrun them to the nearest town. They aren't very fast, but... they can chase you for a long time."
I nodded again. "Is that why Rainbow Dash got so upset when I said I was researching them?"
Twilight bit her lip. "Yeah... she probably heard those bad stories. Some of them can be really scary."
I nodded somberly. "Ok. Well, how would I know a crazy human from a nice one?"
Twilight laughed. "I don't think you should worry about seeing any crazy humans, if you see any humans at all."
"If you say so. Anyhow, I've heard humans can look really... what's the word... different? Do you know what I'm talking about?"
Twilight nodded furiously, and turned the page in the book. On the left page were words, but on the right was a detailed picture of... someone's arm hair? "Look," she said, pointing to it. "Most humans look normal enough, if as different from each other as dragons, but some look like this. Isn't it fascinating? It's like looking through a microscope, except you don't have to! A human like this looks normal enough, until you keep looking at it. The closer you are, the more detail you can make out. No matter how close you get, you just see more and more details." Twilight lifted the book to my face, but I had already seen the 'details' she was referring to. "If you see a human like this, try not to stare," she told me, putting the book back down. "It's not polite."
"If you say so. So, they're nice and sometimes crazy, can run for a long time, and can be really detailed but sometimes aren't. That's one way of putting it, I guess. So, when have you met humans before? Were they nice or crazy?"
Twilight looked at me quickly, then away. "What gave you that impression? I only said I studied them."
I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed when it comes to understanding others, but it doesn't take a genius to see a pattern. What happened before between the girls and humans? "I don't know, it's just that you seem to know a lot more than the book says. It sounds like you're talking from personal experience." Twilight's ears fell against her head. "I half expect you to tell me they average at around five and a half feet tall or something."
Twilight gave me a funny look. "Five and a half feet? What kind of measurement is that?"
"That's a, uh, human kind of measurement," I told her. "I read about it."
Twilight flipped the page back and pointed to the caption under the Da Vinci portrait. "It says here that they average between one and a half and two meters tall. You'd be surprised what kind of details you can find by reading. For example, did you know some humans have been reported to be able to kill by staring hard enough at you?" she asked, tapping the words. She gave me a clearly forced grin, and waited. I shrugged, and she moved her hoof out of the way as I closed the book. I could ask her about it later.
"Well, I've done enough research of my own to figure out the rest. As I told Rainbow Dash, I'm going to try to find Lyra and get her to show me around the Everfree. Thanks for taking some time to talk to me about humans, Ms. Sparkle. Maybe I'll have a chance to talk to you again sometime."
Spike turned to us suddenly, book in claw. "What? Ms. Sparkle? Who calls Twilight Ms. Sparkle? And now that I'm thinking about it, when did you meet Rainbow Dash?" Spike asked accusingly.
I smiled a little bit, having thought of this, and used the strongest bit of deception at my disposal: the truth.
"Ah, you caught me," I said, standing up. "I already met Pinkie Pie on my way into town, but I haven't met Applejack, Rarity or Fluttershy yet. To be honest, I thought I'd take the opportunity to meet the famous Elements of Harmony while I was in town. After all, it's not every day that you have a chance to meet the saviors of Equestria twice over, now is it?"
Twilight blushed crimson, and levitated the book back onto the shelf. Spike, meanwhile, just shook his head and got back to putting books away. "Do you really think we're famous?" Twilight asked, curious.
"Sure. Heck, you've got your cutie marks immortalized on stained glass windows in the royal hall. They're kind of hard to miss. Plus, you're Princess Celestia's personal student. That's gotta count for something."
Twilight's face got even more red, so she turned away from me to help Spike put the books she'd tossed around back onto their shelves. "I hadn't thought of it that way. Thanks, I guess," she told me. I shook my head, glad it had worked. If I hadn't already thought of that, I'd have probably blown my cover. I made my way over to the door, not eager to trap myself trying to figure out what might actually make a pony famous, if Twilight wasn't really well known. I'd probably have enough time to talk it over with her tonight, when I was done pretending to be a pony.
"One last question: I don't really want to seem like a fan-boy or anything, so could you wait before telling your friends that I want to meet them? I don't want them to treat me any differently because I think they're cool."
Twilight chuckled. "If you had told Rainbow Dash that, she might have been a little more willing to hear you out. I'm not in any hurry. If they don't figure it out, I'll tell them later tonight. How's that?"
I grinned. "Perfect! Thanks again, Ms. Sparkle, for everything. You're awesome!"
Twilight shook her head, smiling. "Twilight is fine. Good luck with your research, Sprightly."
"And you with yours, Twilight. Whatever it was on."
"Oh, right! My research!" Twilight said with a gasp. "Spike, where's that book?"
"What book?"
I closed the door as Twilight went back into her little frenzy, continuing where she had left off. I couldn't be certain, but I was pretty sure that she counted as a friend. I was halfway through the list, and there was plenty of time left in the day. Next up was the marketplace, which should be between me and the Carousel Boutique.
I've got a certain apple salespony to bother.
The market wasn't too crowded when I arrived, and a only a few ponies were traveling between stalls deciding what they wanted to cook for dinner. The asparagus stand was nearly sold out, and the carrot stand was already closing down, the SOLD OUT sign clearly displayed on the counter. Whereas some of the stalls were still suitably packed, none had so much stock left as the Apples' stand. Applejack pushed a thick, wooden empty bucket behind her cart to join a number of others, betraying just how many apples she had managed to sell that day. She dragged out another bucket filled to the brim with bright red apples, placing it precisely where she had pulled the empty one from. She tilted her trademark Stetson back, and set her feet in front of her display.
"Fresh apples, picked just this week! Finest apples in Ponyville! Get yer apples here!" Applejack yelled, getting the attention of some ponies buying other fruit. "Yeh know yeh'll need ta keep yerself healthy, and eatin' apples 'll help plenty with that! An apple a day keeps the doctor away, after all!"
I smiled, ready to approach, when my stomach rumbled slightly. Maybe I'll buy an apple from her after all, I thought, then reached for my wallet. Which, of course, wouldn't have bits in it, even if I still had it on me. I frowned slightly as Applejack spotted me, and waved me over.
"Come on," she called, "Yeh know yeh want ta try one!"
I grimaced, and walked over. She caught it, and shook her head, raising a hoof to stop me. "Nope. If yeh don't want to buy an apple, I'll not force yeh. Yeh-"
"What?" I asked, cutting her off. "No, it's not that. I just realized that I don't have any bits on me. I think I'll have to come back later, when I can actually buy one from you." Of course, I'll have to figure out how precisely I'll be getting bits, but still...
"Is that right?" She asked, raising an eyebrow. "Yeh came to the market and yeh don't have a bit to yer name?"
I bit my lip and looked down for a moment. This was going just swimmingly. When I brought my head back up, she was still looked pretty unconvinced, her eyebrow still holding pretty high. I had a feeling, a primal feeling, that it'd be pretty difficult to lie to her in any regard.
No, seriously, I actually felt in the pit of my gut that lying was going to fail me here. How to describe it? It was like I knew I'd still be able to lie, and that I might even be able to get away with it, but that everyone I'd ever known would be disappointed in me if I did. It wasn't that I thought she'd be able to figure me out, because I'm not a terrible liar, but that it'd be wrong. I'd be a terrible person if I lied to her.
Then something else forced itself to the forefront of my mind: She's the element of Honesty. Her element might be manipulating me, right now. And just like that, I forced the feelings of shame away. I drew myself in, and I smiled at her. I wasn't going to lie to her, but I was going to tell the truth on my own terms. I wasn't going to let myself be manipulated, especially not through my feelings.
"Yeah, that's right." I told her, and she furrowed her brows. "I'm completely broke; I don't have a bit to my name. I wanted to come out here to buy an apple from you, Applejack, but I actually forgot to bring any money with me to do so. I'm here because you're an Element of Harmony, and I think you're awesome." I'm also a human in disguise, and no matter what you say or do, I'm not going to admit that to you.
The feeling that I was lying came back, and I quashed it. It'd been true enough.
Applejack chuckled, shaking her head. She took an apple from the basket she'd pulled out, and shoved it into my mouth. My eyes widened in surprise, and the flavor of the apple practically exploded in my mouth. It was the single best Red Delicious apple I'd ever eaten, and after I chewed a few times, I swallowed and took a great breath, already wishing I'd brought bits for another.
"That... was good." I stated simply, trying to concentrate on the flavor I'd just tasted. It had passed almost too quickly, and I'd missed out on enjoying it. Good was a bit of an understatement.
"Glad ta hear it, neighbor." She said, tipping her hat. "So, what's this about me bein' an Element of Harmony? That's not exactly somethin' I'd say comes up too often around here."
"I'm coming in from Canterlot, and I wanted to meet you and the other Elements. You've helped turn Nightmare Moon back into Luna, made a huge splash at the Grand Galloping Gala, and helped bring down Discord, plus a whole bunch of other stuff. I just wanted to say I'm a huge fan, and that I'm thankful for everything you represent."
Applejack chuckled again, and shook her head. "Ah shucks, that's awful kind of yeh to say and all, but I don't do all that much. I'm just an apple farmer who likes to help her friends out, when they need a hoof."
"Heh. Well, that's very modest of you, but you do a lot more than you seem to think. You know, I'd heard you even-"
"AJ!" Rainbow Dash yelled, swooping down to land in front of her. "Hey, did you hear from the Princess ye-"
She stopped, recognizing me. "What are you doing here?" She asked pointedly, glaring daggers at me.
"Just talking to your friend, Ms. Dash. Why, is something wrong?" I asked, trying to ignore her accusing look.
"Nothing you need to worry about." She said offhandedly, flicking her tail and turning back to Applejack, who merely took in the scene, bemused.
"In that case, I guess I'll talk to you later then, Applejack." I told her, swallowing my frustration. "Thank you very much for the apple." I turned to go, but got in a few words more, saying "Good luck with whatever the Princess wanted to bother you about. Be safe!"
Half a backward glance as I walked off showed that Rainbow Dash was still glaring at me, and she flicked her tail again. Why was she so mad at me? As I pulled away, I heard Applejack start to scold her friend about something or other, more likely than not having something to do with me. What precisely had I done to get her so pissed off, anyhow? I mean, I hadn't even talked to her yet, not really. So what was wrong?
I kept walking, heading towards Rarity's Carousel Boutique, trying to think over what I'd gotten so far: First of all, there was a village of people in the Everfree Forest. Despite that, people aren't exactly talked about too often here, even though Twilight clearly knew what they were. She didn't want to talk about having met them before, and Rainbow Dash had started hating me the moment I had even mentioned them. Even Pinkie Pie had seemed a little less jubilant when I had brought them up. So what was it? What had I missed along the way? Lyra seemed to be the human expert, so I guessed I'd probably just have to ask her.
A stray thought went back to the dungeon I'd been in, and I tried to remember it as I walked along. Why would I be thinking of that? Luna tried invading my mind, but... I'd kept her out. Completely. So why was I trying to think of that? The whole thing was fuzzy, especially before Celestia had put my head back together. What had I been trying to think of?
I stopped, and realized I had walked strait past the Boutique, lost in thought. Thankfully I'd found it at all, having not really watched where I was going. I shook my head clear of my thoughts, and jogged over on all fours. I stopped in front of the door, and got back into the mindset of meeting the Elements of Harmony. I wasn't going to be distracted from this! So, What do I have to talk to Rarity about?
...
Um...
"Huh. I just realized I have no reason to be here," I mused aloud, staring at the door.
"Is that right?" A feminine voice asked me from behind, and I jumped, turning to see Rarity surrounded by bags faintly glowing blue. She was wearing a rather flamboyant pink hat with a feather in it, and I was currently in her way. "If that's the case, could you be so kind as to get the door?"
"Oh, of course!" I said, grabbing the door handle to find that the door opened inwards. I stepped into Rarity's shop and out of her way, and she floated the bags in past me. She trotted gaily through, dropping her bags of cloth, feathers and other various goods onto a table as she did. I stood by the door and watched, still trying to think of something to say, as she dropped her hat onto a mannequin and checked herself over in a 3-way mirror. She spied me through one of the mirrors, and said, "Close the door and come inside. I'll be with you in just a moment."
I followed her instructions and entered the shop as she telekinetically grabbed the bags she had brought in with her and took them around a corner in the back of the shop. I heard her climb a staircase and open a door in the otherwise quiet shop, and took the opportunity to look around.
Various dresses were on display on several pony-shaped mannequins around the shop, which was decorated just as ornately as it had been in the show. Just to the right of the entrance was a door left slightly ajar. A quick peek through revealed it to be Rarity's kitchen. Leaving that alone, I walked over to observe a workstation in an alcove in the corner of the shop, where pins held together a particularly complicated-looking white wedding dress, half completed. On a nearby table lay a square piece of cloth with various colors of diamonds laying on top of it in the form of some kind of flower. All in all, the entire shop, this display especially, reminded me of my own complete lack of fashion. Ignoring my goal of meeting each of the Elements of Harmony, I had absolutely no reason to be here.
"Do you like it?" Rarity asked a few inches from my ear. I jumped to the side and faced her, heart racing. She looked surprised that she had surprised me, her eyes wide. "Oh, I'm quite sorry. I didn't mean to startle you, sir. I was just wondering if you liked my dress design."
"It's beautiful." I said simply, still trying to get my heart to slow down. That was twice she'd snuck up on me, pretty much effortlessly, and I felt I still needed a moment to catch my breath.
"Thank you. I must say, I've never seen an ensemble like the one you're wearing," Rarity said, and began to circle me to see it from other angles. "Where did you get it? It's got a certain... utility that you just don't see in day to day wear. Is that fashionable where you come from nowadays?" Rarity asked me, critically looking at the pockets over my flank.
"Oh, this? Truth be told, I'd forgotten that I was wearing it. Actually, Celestia gave it to me."
"WHAT?!?" Rarity shouted, eyes the size of dinner plates. "Celestia? As in, the Celestia? To you, personally?" Suddenly Rarity's gaze became critical, and I felt like cringing away from her intense gaze. She walked ever so slowly around me, never blinking, as she looked over my outfit a second time.
"Uh... yeah... Celestia made it. Are... you OK?" I asked, uneasy.
"I don't know what to say." She admitted, finally walking to stand in front of me. "I've honestly never seen a Celestia original like this before. It's obviously custom fitted, detailed with numerous pockets for various tools, and streamlined for running, and yet must breath pretty well for how comfortably you wear it. It's a masterpiece!" She finished with near reverence, unable to take her eyes off of my outfit.
"Um... would you like it?" I asked. She gasped, her eyes wide again as she looked into mine. "I mean, it's obviously worth a lot more to you than it is to me."
"Parish the thought!" She told me. "Celestia made that for you personally. I wouldn't take that away from you even if it is..." her gaze fell to it again, "...one of the most valuable and fashionable things to have ever entered my shop..."
She was staring again. I waved at her, and she broke out of her trance. Suddenly she did a double take, and put a hoof to her chest. "My word, how rude of me! I haven't introduced myself, or welcomed you yet! Well, better late than never. Welcome to Carousel Boutique, where every garment is chic, unique, and magnifique. My name is Rarity. How can I be of service to you today, Mr...?"
"Downfall. Sprightly Downfall. You know, I thought I didn't have a reason to come into your shop, but obviously I was mistaken. Seeing as you're so taken with my outfit, how would you like to keep it and turn it into a new fashion statement, or something like that?"
"Ooooh... but I can't!" Rarity whined. "As much as I might want to, I can't take that outfit off your hooves, Mr. Sprightly. That was a gift from Celestia herself, and I'm not the kind to take something like that from another, no matter how much I might want to. It's very generous of you to offer, but..." She sighed heavily, deflating somewhat, "I'm afraid I must decline. But..." she said, gaining some of her confidence back, "If you'd like to stay a while, I can take your measurements and give you something as a thank you for the nice thought."
I shook my head with a chuckle. "You know, you're even more generous that I imagined you to be, Ms. Rarity. I suppose you don't become the Element of Generosity by being anything but, though."
"Element of Generosity?" Rarity asked, confused, "What has that got to do with anything?"
"Well, so long as the cat's out of the bag, I figure I might as well tell you why I was hanging around outside your shop when you got here." Rarity looked at me oddly, but waited for me to continue. "I came to Ponyville from Canterlot today to meet you, and the other five Elements of Harmony. Honestly, I'm surprised you aren't more famous for saving Equestria twice over."
Rarity smiled and shook her head. "Oh, it's not all that."
"No, I'm serious. You've put your life on the line to protect Equestria, selflessly. And here I come to find you're not just the bearer of an Element, but the full embodiment of it! I come in here, not even sure what to say, and not a few minutes later you're offering to make me an outfit just because I was polite? Seriously, you're one of the nicest people I've ever met. Ever."
"Oh, stop it!" Rarity said cheerfully. "Sprightly, you're too kind. But you say you've heard of me because I'm an Element of Harmony?"
"Yeah. You six are my heroes. I've already met five of you, yourself included, and so far you've all pretty much been way more awesome than I expected, even after finding out why I sought you out personally. I wasn't sure you'd be willing to talk to some random guy like me."
Rarity thought on that for a moment. "Not willing to talk- OH! You said that you were from Canterlot. Yes, I do remember how high and mighty the elite of Canterlot could be. Don't worry, the ponies here are considerably more approachable. You've met four of my friends, you say? Who, pray tell, have you spoken to?"
It seemed an honest enough question, more curiosity than anything. "Everyone but Fluttershy. I saw Pinkie Pie on my way into town, met Twilight and saw Rainbow Dash in the library, and had a quick word with Applejack in the market. Truth be told, I have no idea where Fluttershy is, or if she'd be OK talking to me. I know she can be really shy."
Rarity nodded. "Well, when you've finished talking to her, did you want to come by to talk some more? Even if you were just here because I'm..." she took half a breath, "somewhat famous in Canterlot, I must say, you do seem like an interesting fellow. Perhaps tea, or something?"
Whoa, what? Rarity actually wanted to talk to me? "Did you want to get another chance to look over my outfit, or something, maybe to copy the design?"
"Huh? No, though I do admit I admire it. It's specially made for you, and it has value in how unique a set it is. Kind as your offer is, I must still decline. Perhaps we could talk about Canterlot, or more about my time as an Element or some such. You've come this far, and I wouldn't want you to feel as though you'd wasted your time."
Dude, generous much?
...Oh, yeah. That.
"Rarity, I wouldn't want to impose on you after-"
"Then it's settled. Though I've other plans with friends this evening, I'd love to talk further with you some other time. Drop by some time this week, and we can discuss it further." She began pushing me towards the door. "As for now, I've got to get back to finishing this dress before the client needs it." A flash of blue magic later, and the door stood open. "I'll talk to you then, Mr. Sprightly," She said, pushing me gently outside. "Ta ta for now!"
Rarity closed the door lightly behind me, and I heard her humming slightly.
What just happened?
I started walking South, towards the general vicinity of where Fluttershy's cabin should have been, and tried to figure out what, precisely, had just happened.
In short, I had absolutely no idea.
Finally I saw Fluttershy's cottage in the distance. Dispite what the show had portrayed, it's WAY farther from Ponyville than you might think. To make a long story short, exit Ponyville to the south (with Canterlot being your "North Star") and walk at least a mile. Seriously, I know she's a recluse and all, but why is she far enough from Ponyville to make the town seem somewhat small in the distance? At least the school, which was on the way, was reasonably close, but Fluttershy is definitely not in town. She's not really even on the outskirts of town. That being said, her cottage and meadow were something else.
I call it Fluttershy's meadow because it's not precisely as shown in the show. Even from the front, I could see the huge enclosure behind her cottage, and when I say huge I mean it. It had to be at least twice the size of her house, bare minimum, and that's when you toss out the fact that she's got a huge pond a stone's throw from her backyard. The cottage itself was downright impressive, with birds occasionally flitting in and out of open windows placed liberally around the first and second floor. It stood on a slight hill, lording over the surroundings even as it welcomed life and all manner of animals. Oh, and the entire roof was growing with grass. Real freaking grass! That's not even mentioning the flowers the place was surrounded with.
And the animals' homes! Even from the front, I knew the number of them was going to be overwhelming. She had six bird houses on her roof and hanging from her windows alone, as well as several feeders hanging in her yard. The trees nearly connecting her to what I presumed was the Everfree Forest had more bird houses hanging from them, and various feeders were placed around them as well. That wasn't even mentioning the number I knew were behind her home, where I couldn't see them.
As I approached, I noticed a pair of otters watching me from the stream running past the front of Fluttershy's home. One of them quickly swam off towards the pond behind the house as I crossed the bridge over the otters' home, and quickly disappeared from sight. Continuing on, I walked up and knocked on Fluttershy's door.
Some time passed, and eventually a small, angry looking white bunny bounded out from behind the cottage. He regarded me from a distance coolly, then approached slowly, as if preparing to stand his ground. He narrowed his eyes at me, and waited.
"Good afternoon," I told the bunny, seriously expecting it to understand me. "I'm looking for Fluttershy. Do you know where she went?"
The bunny, who I assumed was Angel, turned and bolted away, back around the cottage and out of sight. Well, that was helpful, I thought sarcastically. With no idea where else to look for her, I carefully sat on my haunches in the grass outside Fluttershy's home, and waited, watching the forest.
It wasn't long before I spotted a mint green unicorn with a white stripe in her slightly lighter mane and tail slowly exiting the Everfree Forest. A golden harp emblazoned on her flanks revealed rather pointedly that this was to be my guide. She looked both ways, then slowly slunk away from the treeline, back towards the village. Huh. Why wasn't she taking any beaten path through the forest?
"LYRA!!!" I shouted, causing her to jump into the air. "OVER HERE!"
I smiled, stood up tall and waved to her with both my arms, balancing slightly oddly on my back legs. Half a moment later, I realized why and lowered myself to the ground again. Lyra began galloping over, and if her face was any indication then she didn't know what to make of me. As she got closer she slowed down, trying to take me in. I couldn't imagine what might have been going through her head, other than, who's this character?
"Who do you work for?" Lyra asked, setting her feet. "What do you want from me?"
"Woah, what do you mean, 'who do you work for?'" I asked, looking myself over. Oh, right. Tactical gear. "As of right now, nobody. Pinkie Pie just told me you'd be the one to talk to about finding humans in the Everfree Forest. Was she right?"
"Depends." Lyra said bluntly. "Who's asking? What business would you have trying to find humans?"
"The name's Sprightly. I'm researching humans because they're interesting, and because I believe they'll have plenty to do with my future. So how about it? Can you help me out here, or am I heading into the Everfree Forest alone?"
"Seriously?" Lyra asked, stunned at the idea, "You'd go in alone? Do you even know where you'd be going?"
"Truth be told, I don't have a clue," I admitted. "All I know is that somewhere in there are humans, and I need to find them. One way or another, that's what I'm going to do. What about you? You're traveling alone, and you seem to be doing well enough."
"That's because I live around here! I go into the Everfree Forest all the time. It doesn't mean it's safe; if you don't know where you're going, then you might get hurt, or worse! There are Manticores, Timberwolves, Basilisks and all kinds of other monsters out there!"
"That's why I was going to try to come find you," I responded, "but that doesn't mean I won't go in alone. Like I said, one way or another I need to find the humans before tonight. I'm kind of working against a deadline. Either you lead me, or I'm going it alone," I finished, putting my hoof down. The last thing I want is to miss my own welcome party back in Ponyville because I got lost in the woods.
Lyra's expression jumped back and forth between frustrated and concerned until she finally said, "Fine! Let's go. Just don't fall behind. You're not the only one who needs to hurry today; I've got a job to do that I do not want to be late for."
She hunched down slightly, and rather obviously looked around again. There wasn't another soul in sight, so she nodded to me and turned to re-enter the forest. As we took our first steps and entered the underbrush, the daylight seemed to fade. A whisper of wind sent a chill up my spine, even through my thick clothing and fur. Without another word, Lyra led on, into the the darkened branches of the Everfree Forest.
