I finally came to understand what Cozy Glow really means to me in the last few minutes... Originally portrayed as a "mystery villain" in the series, we never really learned who she was or why she did what she did in the series. That said, I took that opportunity to give her a heavy dose of my own fear and pain. That is, the fear of the world not accepting me and the pain of losing my parents. I'll admit that I legitimately felt sorry for her as I typed those words of her breaking down in

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So I spoke to my editor earlier today and we're looking at about two weeks for the final chapter of Trixie Interviews, plus epilogue... I confess that I'm feeling somewhat emotional, although Cozy lives on in my new project. I've been working on the first chapter and I have just over 8 pages and cranked out another 1000 words today! In chapter 10, we saw, A Filly Named Cozy Glow, as I was trying to paint a picture of what sort of person Cozy actually is. In the first chapter of this next

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I guess I'll recap on all this wonderful project has done for me now? Seems appropriate since I'm pretty much done and the rest is up to my editor huh? I know how it ends now, but you'll need to wait for that... But after the fact, I wonder where I am now? Well, Trixie Interviews showed me that I not only have a talent for writing as I get better and better, but I actually enjoy doing it! Through ponies, this adorable little best filly specifically, I realized that I actually enjoy telling

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So I just finished my epilogue and made the final touches on the last chapter. I gotta admit, I'm getting emotional. I spent about 7 months working on this project and wrote over 83,000 words! And it was all about me! And I even got an editor in the process and created new ponies!

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When Cozy was chatting with Princess Luna earlier in my story and she told Luna how she didn't want to be special or different, in reality, that was really me saying that I actually don't want to be transgender... I often wonder, why can't I just be like everypony else you know? Why do I have to be different? I sometimes cry actually because the truth is, I didn't want any of this! I didn't want to lose my wife and life after all, but it happened! Slowly over time, everything decayed... Years

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So I just did what I believe will be the final proofreading to chapter 11 of Trixie Interviews and Cozy Glow is now officially reformed! My editor still has chapter 10 and will be getting that back to me in about a month or so and then I'll give him this... I saw Cozy get reassured by all of her friends before trotting into the throne room and making an official apology for all of her heinous acts! And she made a new friend in the last chapter! Little Snack, the active earth filly! The truth

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In Trixie Interviews: The Cozy Glow Story, being trapped in stone is my metaphor for knowing you're transgender and not being able to do anything about it. When she asks Trixie if she can go back to being in stone again, that was me briefly pondering if I should just stop my transition and go back to pretending to be male again... Well, it occurs to me that that made me very unhappy, but at the same time, at least I didn't have all of these worries and anxieties? But the truth I'm starting to

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Well I just started a new LyraBon poly romance fic as I wanted to explore this idea. In this scenario, Lyra and Bonbon decide to hook up with Doris, the librarian Pegasus who's pretty sure they've lost their minds! I've been typing on it for a couple of days now and I just turned in 13 pages of chapter 1 to my editor! Now I'm writing chapter 10 of Cozy Glow already and I've cleared just over 2 pages there and I wrote up about half a page of notes on what I want to happen next and there's

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I'm averaging about 2 pages a day because I keep rehashing things in order to word them right. While I have an editor now, I'm thinking if both of us work on it to this end, what gets made should be amazing! However, that's actually not the only reason progress is so slow right now. The truth is, I was talking again about gender dysphoria and what that's like in my story and I really don't like to talk about that. It just makes me think about how awful it makes me feel and I really don't like

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So I was chatting on the Morning Discussion over on Equestria Daily earlier and I met this fellow who likewise was into little horse stories. So we started talking and he asked for my page. I provided the link and he said he loves my work and wants to become my editor... That was unexpected, although not unwelcome I wouldn't think? Anyway, earlier today we discussed the next phase of this project.

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I'm taking a little hiatus from my regular writing to read a bit more and consider where I'm at with Cozy during this long day. I know I need to get her to accept her place as a daughter and get her to understand that this is about figuring her out. I intend to do the former in chapter 9 and the latter in chapter 8. How to take it in the right direction seems problematic, but not impossible. I'm thinking I'll start brainstorming on this idea some more and reading a bit of what I already wrote

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Well as I write about Cozy learning the error of her ways, it occurs to me that there's definitely more than one mirror here. The truly scary thing is, that when Cozy asked these difficult questions in my story, Trixie almost immediately had an answer in my head. It's almost like I already knew how to deal with my problems and just wouldn't admit it to myself? Regardless, I understand now that I need to see my old memories and my past life as reflections of me as I developed and as learning

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So somepony might ask me about Cozy's anxiety in the new chapter I'm writing. They may want to know why is this happening now and it wasn't before? Well that's the thing about dysphoria or any anxiety really. It never comes all at once. It always needs time to ferment in the mind. And so now, 32 days after she was unfrozen from stone, Cozy is beginning to realize the ramifications of what she had done. And she doesn't like it!

So I just wrote the bank scene into chapter 7 and I used Cozy Glow's anxieties about being a former villain to illustrate what having gender dysphoria in public is like. Needless to say, it is not pleasant! I brainstormed what it's like and made sure to incorporate all of those aspects into my story so that I cover them all. That is, anxiety about others and what they may be looking at or talking about as well as that feeling that you don't belong there or shouldn't be there. And since I

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So now Cozy and Trixie have just had breakfast in my story and Cozy is about to talk to Trixie about why she did what she did. What brought her to that point. I mean, normal healthy ponies do not do what she did right? I also know that in reality, this is really just me explaining why I tried to kill myself using thinly veiled metaphors. Okay so I suppose the next logical step would be for Cozy to ask Trixie what she should be doing instead? Well I did just note in the story that Trixie is

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Well I've been brainstorming and I think I know where I want this to ultimately end up. As a manipulator, Cozy Glow would actually make a wonderful counselor and I think Trixie also sees this. Like she said in one of the previous chapters, "Getting people to think and look at things a certain way in my profession is very useful." I'm thinking that should be the end goal at this point.

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Well I've been taking a brief hiatus from my Trixie interviews project because there's a couple of things I need to get straight with myself. First off, I think I know why it's Trixie now. She's the metaphor for ponies and since Cozy is a metaphor for me, I'm effectively saying that ponies gave me back my childhood... Between the fact that I literally got amnesia at one point in my life and the faded "male memories" from using female hormones, my childhood years and early life are more or less

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Well I finally got done with chapter 6 today! There's a lot of notes and other things designed to help me piece it together at this point and I just gave the pre-release version to my pre-readers. In my process, that's the version of the chapter right before my final edit and publication. Next, I rehash it a time or two while taking whatever they said into consideration.

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And so, as I write chapter 6, it occurs to me that this is becoming something other than what I intended for it to be. I originally just wanted this chapter to be about Cozy's move across town, but now it's more about Cozy learning to accept love again? Well, that's a "transition" of it's own and I suppose we'll keep the original title (Transitions) now with it's double meaning? Yeah it's pretty awkward, especially at first, but she needs to know that she's not alone anymore...

So earlier today, I worked a bit more on chapter 6. It occurs to me that it's important for me to know how Trixie is gonna act once they make it back to the cottage as well as exactly what sort of mother she would be. And so I brainstormed a bit to figure out where she would excel and what areas she could be better at. I also took into account Cozy's superior intelligence and figured out what she would likely do about these issues. I think that before I start writing this tomorrow, I should

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