117.1 (116.4 continued)
"By now you have all qualified with the basic laser pistol and heavy laser rifle. However! There will be times during shipboard combat when stray laser blasts may endanger innocent lives or the structure of the ship or valuable cargo! For this reason we also have this!"
The thing in the pink-haired loudmouth's hand was quite clearly a lightsaber, but not the hand-crafted kind Applejack had seen (and once used) in the Star Wars Loop. Seriyo's force sword looked mass-produced, sleek, simple, and plain. Since nobody else batted an eye at the thing, Applejack gathered that such things were pretty commonplace in this universe. Even in the Star Wars Loop, even before Palpatine got rolling, a lightsaber would get everybody's instant and undivided attention. Here, not so much.
"Cadet Fujiringo!"
Applejack still didn't care for her local name, but she came to attention automatically for it regardless. "Yes, sir!"
"I understand you come from a barbarian planet called Earth," Seriyo smirked. "You've probably never seen a weapon like this before!"
"We ain't so backward as all that, sir!" Applejack grinned.
"With that accent?" Seriyo barely bothered to cover his chuckle. "It's fortunate for you that you've come to the Academy! We'll soon have that accent ironed out of you!" He deactivated the blade and tossed the swordhilt to Applejack. "But since you obviously have experience with the weapon, you'll be glad to demonstrate its usefulness for the rest of the class!"
He thinks I'm nothing but an alligator-mouthed hick, Applejack thought. He's going to make an example of me. She allowed the corners of her mouth to turn up very slightly. Now to see how much I remember of that Loop where I was Luke Skywalker and Twilight was Yoda. That was a lot of Loops ago, but...
"Ignite the blade, cadet!" As Applejack activated the force sword, Seriyo pulled out a standard issue GP laser pistol. "The standard issue GP force sword will deflect laser blasts if wielded by an expert swordsman!" With careful aim Seriyo fired once, spanging a stun-blast off the tip of the sword and into the dirt between Applejack's feet. "In the hands of an unskilled user, the sword will be more dangerous to the one holding it than to the enemy! Observe!" Seriyo lowered his aim and began squeezing the trigger.
Applejack let herself go calm, reaching her senses out across the athletic field, through the ivy and trees, through the soil and rocks of the Academy's artificial habitat. What worked for earth pony magic and earthbending also worked for the Force, at least well enough to see where the stun bolts were going to land.
The rest of the class saw Applejack close her eyes, then waggle the force sword back and forth, slapping away Seriyo's shots, sending most of them into the dirt right at Seriyo's toes. The captain, startled, began picking up one foot and then the other, frantically trying to keep his toes out of the line of fire, still thoughtlessly snapping off one wild shot after another. One flailing foot found a pebble in the mix of soil; a random kick sent it flying into the air.
The pebble struck the base of Applejack's saber, stunning her wrists and sending it spinning away.
Without thinking Applejack switched skill sets. Forget being a Jedi... time to be an Amazon. Twin bracers appeared out of her subspace pocket around her wrists. The shot blocking continued, two handed this time. A bead of sweat trickled down her brow as she tried to recall her skills from two long-ago Loops, one in an anthropomorphic Equestria as Mistress Mare-velous, another in the DC Loop replacing Diana Prince. All she needed was for Seriyo to quit the random shots and bring the pistol back towards her center of mass, then the right deflection- no- no- close- no- no-
YES.
The stun blast took Seriyo straight in the chest. He fell backwards and flopped onto the dirt torn up by his feet.
Okay, lesson inverted, job done. Applejack returned the bracers to her subspace pocket and stepped forward to the prone teacher. Now to show proper respect and get this lesson back on track. "Mr. Tennan! Are you all right?"
Seriyo's eyes opened. His movements were jerky and twitchy, but the light stun was already wearing off. "You- mock- the great- Seriyo- Tennan!"
"No, sir," Applejack responded. "Y'all wanted a demonstration, and I did my best, sir."
"And you CONTINUE to mock me!" Seriyo weeble-wobbled his way to a mostly vertical position. "Barbarian Earthling! You don't belong at the GP Academy! Go take a hundred laps! That should wear down your savage tendency to insubordination!"
Yep, Applejack thought, arrogant idiot. We def'nitly ain't gonna be friends. And I'm glad I've stayed in Mostly Ascended Mode the whole time I've been here. Forty kilometers... well, maybe I can catch the last half of the actual lessons.
Applejack's slipstream sent Seriyo spinning back into the dirt, much to the amusement of her classmates.
"Ryoko Baulta, I understand you have a piece of intelligence for us." The giant hologram of the chief of the Da Ruma pirate guild loomed over the other pirate captains seated at the virtual conference table.
A shapely figure, pale-skinned, raven-haired, stood up, her hologram enlarging somewhat so that the others could see and hear her better. "There is a cadet of special abilities in the most recent class at the GP Academy," she said. "My sources report her name as Yoshiko Fujiringo, though she also goes by the alias Applejack."
A two-dimensional picture of the cadet appeared above the conference table. "Although she claims to be an Earthling, she exhibits abilities not typical of the pre-civilized natives of that planet. She apparently has limited shapeshifting abilities- note the equine ears and tail." The picture switched to footage of Applejack on the GP's athletic fields, outpacing the other cadets, outlifting, outjumping, out-and-out-everything-ing them. "She exhibits superior speed, strength, skill and reflexes- without any assistance from body modification."
A few of the pirate captains gasped at this information. GP body modification was among the best available. Only the most successful pirate captains could afford the bribes to get nanite treatments to equal the GP standard.
"She also seems to have a sixth sense that allows her to detect lies," Ryoko Baulta continued. "Our agents have had to be very circumspect around her to avoid detection. Prolonged contact with this cadet may make our chief agent's continued presence at the Academy untenable."
"Our agents at the Academy are few and precious," the Da Ruma chief boomed. "And if this cadet completes her training she will be a deadly threat to our continued business. Therefore she must not be permitted to complete her training."
"Understood," Ryoko Baulta said, not blinking. "Next week her class goes on its freshman cruise. Do you wish me to ensure that she does not return?"
"You are more valuable in your current duties," Da Ruma replied. "Other people will take care of it."
Near the head of the conference table, one particular captain licked his thin lips in anticipation of his favorite kind of mission.
WHUMP.
Whirrr. Clack.
WHUMP.
Whirrr. Clack.
Crates whirred through the processing machine, and as they popped up in front of the cadets' stools, each cadet stamped the crate in front of them with a stamper roughly twice as large as any of them.
"Gotta tell ya, girls," Applejack said, raising the giant cancellation stamp and bringing it back down on the postage label of yet another crate, "this wasn't th' kind of trainin' I expected on a starship cruise."
"Hey, it's work!" Ona na Wyn grinned, bringing down her own stamp. "Work is always good!"
Brightly Doo had done her Looping counterpart proud, in that somehow she had managed to stamp herself. Twice. "I like this," she said, bringing the stamp down mostly on the package label this time. "For some reason it seems so... so familiar to me. It's like I was born to do this!"
Applejack had to bite her tongue.
A whistle shrieked through the cargo area, and the cadets set down the stamps, shut down the float-pallets, and stepped away from their work stations. "Shift's over," Applejack groaned, stretching her legs. "Time to eat!"
"Muffins!" Brightly grinned.
"Steak!" Ona barked.
Leg cramps, Applejack groaned to herself. She was NOT built to spend four hours at a time perched on a stool moving nothing below the waist. Oh, for an apple tree. Anthropoid or not, she wanted to buck a tree something fierce. Forty acres would just about work out the cramps.
Before the cadets could move towards the galley, red lights began flashing, followed by sirens. "Battle stations, battle stations," a voice boomed on the PA. "This ship is under pirate attack. All cadets report to your cabins immediately and remain there until curfew is lifted. All other crew report to battle stations."
"No steak?" Ona whined.
"No muffins?" Brightly looked a little like Ona.
No movement, Applejack sighed. Ah well, probably just a drill anyway. "C'mon, girls," she said, tugging her roommates along. "If this is a drill, we'll get stuck with cleanup duty if we're the last ones in our cabins."
There were three of them. They had different names (Alan, Barry and Cohen) and looked nothing alike, but for all practical purposes they shared one brain between them. They were so interchangeable that they alternated stations on the bridge each day with no one noticing, least of all the captain.
"Visual ID on the ship!" Seriyo Tennan shouted.
"Visual coming up now!" Barry responded, keying in the order.
The main screen lit up with a view of a sleek purple space cruiser, its bridge shaped in a golden crest of arms.
"Th-th-that's Ryoko Baulta's ship!!" Barry gasped.
"The lovely Ryoko Baulta!" Alan cooed.
"The Pirate Idol of the GP three years running!" Cohen added.
"Activate weapons! Raise shields!" Seriyo shouted. "Establish weapons lock on the pirate!"
"Opening hailing frequencies!" Barry shouted.
"Yoo-hoo, Ryoko!" Alan shouted.
"We're all waiting for you, Ryoko!" Cohen added.
The face that popped up on the viewscreen was most definitely NOT Ryoko Baulta. Or female.
"You have a person called Yoshiko Fujiringo on board," the pirate growled, eyes almost shut, arms folded, glaring down at the GP ship's bridge from the screen. "If you surrender her to us peacefully we will let your ship continue unmolested. If you resist we will take her by force, along with anything else we choose to take."
"The Galaxy Police does not surrender its cadets to common pirates!" Seriyo shouted. "Not even cadets as uncouth and barbaric as the insubordinate Fujiringo!"
"You mean... no Ryoko?" Alan asked plaintively.
"Ryoko's just too busy to talk, right?" Barry added.
"She's still on board, isn't she?" Cohen finished.
The pirate on the viewscreen didn't budge, but a vein on his forehead pulsed visibly. "Captain Baulta is not on board!" he snapped. "If you can't take this seriously, here's something to snap you back to your senses!" The viewscreen switched back to the view ahead, which showed the pirate cruiser coming to bear on the GP ship.
A few flickers of light later, the GP ship rocked with several direct hits.
"Main reactor offline!" Alan shouted. "Power to shields and weapons has been cut off!"
"Return fire!" Seriyo shouted.
"Owing to the fact that there is no power to the weapons," Barry said, "we are unable to return fire!"
"Return fire!"
"We are currently unable to return fire," Cohen reported, "due to the fact that the weapons systems are without power!"
"Return fire!"
Cohen turned to look at his longtime colleagues. "He really doesn't get it, does he?" he asked.
The other two interchangables shook their heads in solemn agreement.
Right, Applejack thought as the ship shook, this ain't no buckin' drill.
"Cadets remain in your cabins," the announcer repeated. "All other hands prepare to repel boarders."
"Y'all girls stay here," Applejack told her roommates. "I ain't goin' ta sit on my hoov... my hands when other folks are in danger."
"We're coming with you!" Brightly grinned.
"Yeah! Just tell us what to do!" Ona agreed.
"I just TOLD y'all what to do," Applejack said. "If we were all graduates it'd be another thing, but I'm th' only one of th' three of us with fightin' experience. Please, stay put, all right?"
They didn't like it, but Applejack's look kept them in the cabin until she shut and locked the door behind her.
Next to the cabin door was a communications panel. A few keystrokes, and a bypassed security system later (thanks for th' tips, li'l sis), Applejack had a line open to the bridge. "Cadet Fujiringo reportin', Captain," she said. "Tell me where th' varmints are boardin' from. I'll counterattack an' drive 'em off!"
"Countermanded!" Seriyo shouted. "Even if an untrained, uncivilized brute such as yourself were qualified for combat, I could never order a single fighter to take on an entire pirate crew!"
"Firstly, sir," Applejack drawled, "I wasn't askin' permission. I was tellin' ya what I'm gonna do."
While Seriyo spluttered on the other end of the connection, she put her fingers through a well-practiced set of motions. She was slightly surprised she got it right the first time; she'd had much more practice doing it with hooves than hands.
"Second," a hundred Applejacks replied, their voices echoing through the empty corridors of the cadet quarters, "who said there was only gonna be one o' me?"
Shadow clones: the second most useful trick Applejack had picked up from the Naruto Loops, right after tree-walking. Made harvests a snap.
The boarding party that stormed down the plank never knew what hit them, nor why it kept vanishing in a puff of smoke any time one of them landed a solid hit in return.
The crew that remained on board the pirate cruiser found out in a most definite way what hit them. And what kicked them. And what shackled them with thrown handcuffs that strongly resembled horseshoes. And what hogtied them in what seemed like an endless supply of lassoes.
Ten minutes later the pirates' bridge crew recalled its boarding party with orders to re-take its engine room.
Ten minutes after that the pirates' bridge crew called the GP ship to request terms of surrender.
"Aha!" Seriyo shouted. "You finally recognize the superior fighting talents of Seriyo Tennan!"
"Who? No!" the gruff pirate commander replied. "But we want you to call off this lunatic you put aboard our ship before she does to us whatever she's done to the rest of our crew!"
Seriyo scowled. "Embarrassed by that insubordinate Earthling again," he muttered. In a louder voice he added, "I can only accept unconditional surrender, of course. Pirates must face proper justice."
"So long as proper justice doesn't include that young woman," the pirate replied, "we'll take our chances with the judge!"
"Captain!" Alan shouted from his console. "New ship coming out of warp!"
"Break away from the pirate cruiser!" Seriyo shouted. "Come about to face the new enemy!"
On the screen, one of the pirate crewmen shouted, "Oh God, she's broken through the do-" The signal broke up in static, replaced by a demonic-looking battleship, black with red highlights, looking like a cross between a steam locomotive and a demon from Hell.
"It's the Daedalos!" Barry gasped.
"Tarrant Shank's ship!" Cohen shuddered.
"Shank takes no prisoners!" Alan finished.
"Come about, I said!" Seriyo snapped. "Bring all weapons to bear on the newcomer and prepare to open fire!"
"We're still on auxiliary power!" Cohen said. "Shields and weapons are inactive!"
"Then ram the enemy!" Seriyo said. "The GP will never give up without a fight!"
"Sir!!" Alan protested. "The Daedalos is specifically armored for ramming and grappling tactics. Our ship isn't built for that!"
"We have no weapons! We have no shields!" Seriyo shouted. "But in the face of certain destruction by a merciless enemy, never let it be said that the GP went down without a fight! Ramming speed, my men! Let's show Shank what the Galaxy Police are made of!"
The three interchangables went into conference. "Got any better ideas?" Barry asked.
"Dead is dead, either way," Cohen moaned.
"So we might as well die fighting, right?" Alan grinned.
The other two nodded, then turned to their consoles.
The Galaxy Police transport ship ripped away from the purple cruiser's boarding ramps, tearing the gangway apart. In a rather anemic burst of speed it staggered towards the oncoming Daedalos... which passed it by effortlessly, bearing down on the cruiser. Massive guns crackled with energy, then spat out a lance of red destruction that slammed into the disabled cruiser, sending it in a trail of flame and smoke towards a nearby desert planet.
Satisfied that the mission was complete, the Daedalos cloaked, vanishing into the blackness of space.
"Wasn't he one of you guys?" Applejack shouted at the pirate commander as both struggled to put flames out on the bridge.
"Our mission was to capture you!" the pirate replied. "Tarrant Shank just decided to finish the job himself!"
"He wasn't doin' nothin' y'all weren't tryin' ta do!"
"We only kill in self-defense!" the pirate snapped. "Captain Ryoko doesn't believe in pointless death. Shank ENJOYS it!"
"Y'all are pirates," Applejack commented, tossing aside an empty fire extinguisher and looking for another one. "Ain't killin' in your job description somewhere?"
"We are pirates with honor," the commander corrected Applejack. "We only steal from the rich and the insured. We don't kidnap for ransom and we do not kill when at all avoidable!"
"Y'wanna explain me, then?"
"Orders from Da Ruma himself. You pose a threat to our guild- to all pirates everywhere, if you become a GP officer."
"Thanks for that," Applejack muttered. "That's th' last of th' fire extinguishers. Any hope of bringin' th' fire suppression systems back on-line? Navigation? Anythin'?"
The commander looked at the one other member of the bridge crew still on his feet, who shook his head solemnly. "No," he said. "We're down to emergency life support. We won't survive the crash."
Applejack closed her eyes for a moment, steadied herself, and nodded. "Right," she said. "Then it's up to me."
"Up to you?" the pirate commander asked. "What are you going to do? What CAN you do?"
The Element of Honesty appeared around Applejack's neck. "Magic."
Alicorn magic, to control the winds of the desert planet's atmosphere, bringing clouds together in the hot, dry air to cushion the descent.
The Force, to stablilize the spin and tumble of the pirate cruiser and to put it at the proper angle for re-entry.
Shadow clones, rushing through the ship, putting out small fires with their bodies, attempting repairs to the emergency thrusters to regain minimal control of the ship.
Spells learned at Hogwarts and in Seirun and Arda, lifting the ship, slowing it down when the emergency thrusters proved irreparable.
Earthbending, reaching below the ship to reshape a massive section of hard rocky ground into a ramp, a pit, and then a runoff zone filled with loose sand and gravel.
Dozens of tricks, talents, skills and spells learned through all those Loops standing behind Twilight, being the one supporting the egghead, being the one going along with whatever one of her friends came up with, added with the stubbornness born into every Apple and the will forged by enduring who knew how many million Loops without going stark raving mad.
All together, it was enough to bring the ship down.
It would never go up again, but it came down safely, with no further loss of life.
After the shrieks of armor plating on rock died away, after the last shuddering bump and lurch of the ship scraping against the planet's surface ended, the unwounded members of the pirate crew, led by their commander, gathered around Applejack, who stood motionless, eyes closed, arms spread, on the bridge.
Just as one curious pirate reached a hand forward to touch her to see if she was alive or not, her eyes opened up.
"Jus' ta be clear 'bout this," she mumbled, "y'all are still under arrest. Un'erstand?"
All the pirates except the commander took two very hasty steps backwards. The commander, arms folded, nodded solemnly.
"Good," Applejack muttered. "S'long we got that str..."
She hit the deck, fast asleep, before she could finish the word.
As the personal aide to the Jurai Sector director of the Galaxy Police, Erma was in the perfect position to hear about everything first. Sometimes it could be heard from the other side of the teleport booth.
"What do you MEAN you didn't conduct a search for survivors?" Airi's eyes bulged from her face. A vein in ther temple bulged to match. On the viewscreen, even that confirmed idiot Seriyo Tennan had the sense to be afraid.
Unfortunately, he didn't have enough sense to stop digging his own grave. "Ma'am, we spent hours on combat patrol seeking to re-engage the Daedalos. By the time we gave up on that search, no trace remained of the initial pirate vessel. As we had a crew of cadets and valuable cargo, I judged it best to proceed to our destination at best speed rather than waste time verifying that the enemy ship was lost with all hands."
"All hands plus one of your cadets, Captain!" Airi's fist hit her desk, sending one of the mountains of paperwork sliding off in a hissing avalanche. "The Galaxy Police does not leave one of our own behind! At the least you should have held position and awaited reinforcements!"
"But Airi, I-"
"Kindly report back to the Academy, Tennan," Airi growled. "If being a gym teacher is all you're good for, you may as well get back to it! Just stay out of my sight!" Before Seriyo could get another word out she cut the connection, slumping forward and knocking over the rest of the stacks of paperwork. "What am I going to tell Seto? She asks me to slip a student into the Academy, and I lose her on her freshman cruise??"
"Madame Director," Erma said, "please give me a ship. I will undertake the search myself."
Airi lifted her head from the remnants of the paper piles. "Really, Erma?"
"I am a Detective First Class, am I not?" Erma said. "I'm fully qualified for command. If not, at least give me a hyper-capable yacht and I'll conduct the search solo."
A corner of Airi's mouth turned up. "Anxious to retrieve your lost student, I take it?"
"No more so than yourself, ma'am," Erma replied.
"We'll leave it at that then... Captain." Airi said. "And when you return, we can discuss how a pipeline of information can be made to run two ways. Am I clear?"
Erma froze for just a moment, sweat trickling through her fur. "Er... crystal clear, ma'am."
The instant Erma disappeared from the teleport booth, Airi keyed open the private channel to Lady Seto. "Seto? This is Airi. I'm afraid you'll have to move up your plans for Baulta quite a bit..."
Erma double-checked the galactic coordinates... then triple-checked them.
Star? Check.
Planet? Well, yes.
Nearly barren desert world, uninhabited? Not so much. Try forest planet... with the forest arranged in suspiciously orderly rows and lines of trees. Plenty of rain clouds, the few sullen lakes of the desert swelling into oceans...
How in the galaxy does someone terraform a planet this radically, without tools or spaceflight capacity, in three weeks?
At least the forest proved that Cadet Fujiringo was alive. None of Ryoko Baulta's crew had any capacity to do anything like this, but Fujiringo's mysterious capabilities... well, were mysterious. There was nothing that said she couldn't do this, and absolutely nobody else could have.
"Helm, take us down to treetop level above the tallest and densest trees," Erma said. "I think we'll find our lost sheep there."
"Y'all got here jus' in time, ma'am," an exhausted looking Applejack said, saluting. "We were down to our last roll of toilet paper."
"Lucky for you, then," Erma nodded. "And you had no trouble keeping over two hundred pirates under your authority?"
"Well, once I made it clear what they could an' couldn't get away with," Applejack shrugged, "it was pretty easy."
"Well, that's no longer your worry, cadet." Erma smiled gently. "A Galactic Army ship will arrive soon to take charge of this... er... impromptu prison colony. You, however, are two weeks behind on your coursework. You're going to leave immediately with me for the Academy."
"No, ma'am!"
Erma blinked. "I beg your pardon... cadet?" She intended to put a dangerous emphasis on the rank, but instead it gave away her curiosity.
"Ma'am, it would be improper for me to leave until custody of the prisoners is formally transferred to a permanent custody officer. Furthermore, I would have to be satisfied that the officer in question was capable of-"
"I have to remind you, cadet, that you are not yet a full officer in the Galaxy Police." Erma drew herself up. "Without a ship, these prisoners have no means of escape. We will leave sufficient supplies to last until the relief ship arrives. But in the meantime I am ordering you to come with me!" And now, Erma thought, what do you do about that?
"I'm sorry, ma'am," Applejack replied. "But under these circumstances I must invoke Article Twenty-Nine."
Erma's eyes widened. She didn't need to look that one up; she'd lived in fear of it ever since she first put on the uniform.
Article Twenty-Nine: In the event that there is reasonable suspicion that a fellow Galaxy Police officer is an imposter, every effort shall be made to validate or disprove the identity of the accused; and if proof of imposture is found, the imposter is to be placed under arrest at once, chain of command notwithstanding.
"That's a dangerous accusation to make, Cadet Fujiringo." Erma's smile had vanished, and she didn't bother trying to fake one. "Shall we go talk to Airi about it?"
"No need, ma'am," Applejack said, holding her hands in a loop before her. "I reckon we can settle it right here’n now." Applejack's hands glowed, and a slow wave of light burst from them and pushed forward, enveloping Erma.
When it faded, Erma was gone, and Ryoko Baulta remained.
"I kinda had a feelin' ever since we met," Applejack continued. "But when you tried to leave prisoners unguarded an' uncared for, that was what made me decide. So I tried a 'dispel magic' spell I learned from watchin' a friend of mine. Good ta know it works here, too."
"Rrrrrgh," Ryoko Baulta groaned. "Fine, fine, right answer, Cadet... but for the wrong reasons!" She threw her hands into the air. "A Galaxy Army ship is going to be here in hours, and I really AM supposed to take you back to the Academy at once!" Ryoko shook her head. "I only asked to lead the search because I have a responsibility to my crew. If anybody else had shown up instead, their orders would have been exactly the same!"
"Yeah, whatever," Applejack shrugged. "Don't change the fact that you're under arrest... ma'am."
"I'm afraid she isn't, Applejack dear."
Both Applejack and Ryoko spun on their heels in time to see Seto Kamiki Jurai, the Devil Princess herself, step out from behind a tree. "Now, whatever am I going to do with you two?"
"What do you mean, repatriation?" The question leaped from both throats simultaneously.
"How dare you kidnap my crew?" Ryoko leaned well into Lady Seto's personal space, shouting at the top of her lungs.
"Kidnap your crew?" Applejack didn't crowd Seto, but she did get pretty close. "You're stealin' my prisoners outta custody, is what you're doin'!"
"Now, now, ladies," Seto said, stepping back and waving her fan in supplication. "I appreciate that you both have a duty to fulfill, but I have my own duty... to the peace and stability of the galaxy." Half-hiding her face behind her fan, she looked at Ryoko Baulta. "And that peace requires that you, my dear pirate captain, retrieve your crew and return to raiding the spaceways."
"Wh-wh-what??"
"I've discussed the matter with Airi and Mikami," Seto continued, naming the second and third ranking officers in the Galaxy Police. "We all agree that the best way to reduce the threat of piracy at this time is to have someone on the inside. Someone who could, for example, feed us information on the location of Tarrant Shank, or the plans of the Da Ruma pirate guild. You know," she added, "the people who tried to kill your crew rather than allow them to surrender?"
Ryoko's eyes narrowed. "Is that your game?"
"Ah don't get it," Applejack muttered. "Or rather, I get it, but I don't want it."
"It's politics, of course," Seto said. "More specifically, it's a plan I've been working on for fifty years now. If it succeeds, the threat of piracy in the galaxy will be reduced to a shadow of what it is now." Seto's smile vanished with a snap of her fan as she added, "And believe me when I say I have ample reason to see piracy eradicated from this galaxy by any means necessary."
Applejack had been Looked, Stared and glared at by experts, so Seto's look didn't faze her. "I've seen a lot of things, ma'am," she said. "An' most of what I've seen says that 'by any means necessary' is always th' wrong way to do it."
"Not always," Seto replied. "In any case, the decision is Captain Baulta's, not yours. Your orders, from the GP Marshal herself, are to relinquish custody of all your prisoners to me." She raised an eyebrow and added, "Are you going to risk your career by trying to stop me?"
"You mean, risk my chance at one'o them royal trees of yours?" Applejack asked.
Ryoko's jaw dropped.
"Lady Seto, I am an honest po... woman. An' that don't just mean I'm bad at lyin'.”
Ryoko Baulta dashed between Seto and Applejack, facing the latter. “Are you NUTS? Shut up, shut up, shut UP! You’ve been offered a royal tree? NOBODY outside Jurai’s allowed a royal tree! And you’re going to throw away the biggest honor in the galaxy on a point of principle??”
“Shut up,” Applejack grumbled, stepping around Baulta for a direct look at Seto. “If th' choice is between doin' my duty an' losin' th' prize, or gettin' th' prize dishonestly, then for me there ain't no choice at all." Applejack stepped forward, looking up into the taller woman's narrowed eyes. "You ain't takin' my prisoners. You know what you can do with your tree."
Seto raised an eyebrow. “Is that your final answer?”
Applejack looked down at the seed in her hands, speechless.
"Well, there's your Shojiki," Seto smiled. "Now that the bonding ceremony is completed, there shouldn't be any difficulties, but Tsunami says it would probably be best if you wait to construct her containment unit until you have a Loop that begins well before your normal baseline start... whatever that means," she said with a shrug. "I don't know if I'm sad or relieved that I won't remember all this when history resets."
Applejack still continued to stare.
"You know, Tsunami made that seed especially for you. She says it doesn't exist in baseline, though I don't know why that might be important. You could say something like, 'thank you.'"
"I still can't believe you're actually doin' this," Applejack said at last.
"You stood on your integrity to your superiors, right on up to Airi herself. That should be rewarded."
"But this still feels wrong," Applejack said.
"That's because you're looking at it the wrong way." Seto jabbed her ever-present fan at Applejack. "I never said the gift of a royal tree was a quid pro quo. You assumed that. Jurai does not bribe people with royal trees... ever." That fan snapped open again, and Seto stared over it. "The kind of person who would accept such a bribe is wholly unsuitable to be a tree's partner in the first place.
"You didn't get Shojiki because you earned her. You get Shojiki because you deserve her."
"Oh," Applejack said quietly. "Well... that's all right, then."
"That's good. Now then, before you return to the Academy..." Seto keyed up the image of a less-than-impressive young man in Jurai noble robes. "Since we have quite some time before history resets, why don't you spend part of it as part of the Jurai royal families? I can arrange an omiai with this eligible young man this very evening!"
"Er..." Applejack wondered if she could outrun Seto's courtiers and guards all the way to the spaceport.
The mental laughter from the seed in her hands didn't help her discomfort.
A group of colorful ponies sat in the cellar of a barn, sipping from drinks served by the bartender and listening to the pony in the cowboy hat telling her story.
"... an' I retired after making Detective First Class, which is about as high as you can go before they start stickin’ ya behind desks, an' spent the rest of the Loop learning about Jurai ship construction and royal tree maintenance."
"And that seed is still good?" Rainbow Dash asked, reaching a hoof towards the open presentation box. Applejack swiftly shut the box and stuck it back in her subspace pocket.
"Rainbow, in Tenchi's baseline, one of his friends discovers a royal seed that's millions of years old and still vital and powerful," Twilight Sparkle said. "Royal trees live off the power differential between universes. Even being in a subspace pocket is enough to keep it viable. In fact, its power supply is practically limitless."
"That's what they told me," Applejack nodded. "In their home universe they draw off of Tsunami herself, but elsewhere they get on all right."
"So, when ya gonna build your spaceship, huh?" Pinkie Pie asked. "'Cause I need to plan the You're-A-Sapling-Now-Welcome-To-Equestria Party!"
"I'm waitin' for th' next Sisters-type Loop I have," Applejack said. "Two thousand-odd years should be plenty enough head start to prevent any de-aging glitches Yggdrasil might throw at us. An' then..." Applejack grinned. "Then Shojiki an' I are gonna want a rematch of that Battleship game you won backalong, Twi."
Twilight paled a little, trying to think of what technology or magic, in all her Loops, could counter Light Hawk Wings without vaporizing Shojiki or triggering a Loop Crash...
117.2 (Kris Overstreet)
And the Rest Loop: Prologue
"Really?" Twilight asked the other Loopers gathered around the back of the barn at Sweet Apple Acres. Unfortunately none of them was Big MacIntosh or Berry Punch, so the bar wasn't going to open this Loop... no matter how badly Twilight needed it.
"What's the matter, purple plot?" Gilda asked. "Do we not measure up to your standards, or something?"
"No, no, that's not it at all," Twilight said hurriedly, "but... well, last Loop was kind of rough on me, all right? Almost Bureau bad. And I was hoping that Applejack or Fluttershy or Pinkie might be Awake so I could talk it out..." Even Rainbow Dash or Rarity would have done, really. She really wanted at least one of her closest friends with her for a while. Though most of these Loopers were also friends... well, Angel Bunny was stretching the point, but still... it wasn't the same thing. There were her other friends, and then there were the girls, and she couldn't explain it better than that.
"If you'll accept the word of this'n," Zecora said soothingly, "all of us are willing to listen."
"Er... thanks, but it's not the same," Twilight said. Looking at Angel Bunny, who had pulled out a notepad and pencil from his subspace pocket, she added, "In some cases, REALLY not the same."
"I hate to push things along," Ivory Scroll said, "but what is the plan for this Loop? Did you have any project, any experiment, any pranks in mind? We really need to know now- it's only about eighteen hours until Nightmare Moon's return."
"I'm sorry, everyone," Twilight said quietly. "I think I need a bit of a rest. Not a full vacation, but I'm pretty much gonna go through the motions this Loop. You know, autopilot. You all do whatever you want."
Twilight was less than reassured by the five very evil grins that appeared on the faces of the Mayor, Zecora, Cheerilee, Angel Bunny and Gilda.
And the Rest Loop: Friendship is Magic
Twilight had made an early evening of it at Pinkie's surprise party. The unAwake party pony had, for once, been quite understanding when, after making the rounds to greet and thank her new (very, very old) friends, Twilight had plead exhaustion after her trip to Ponyville and her work overseeing preparations for the Summer Sun Celebration. She had been a little less understanding when Twilight spotted another pony spiking the punch, took the bottle of hard cider away from her, and went to bed with it... but Pinkie didn't do anything more than give Twilight a look of sad disapproval just before Twilight shut the door.
Half the remaining bottle had been enough to put Twilight to sleep, and she'd rather hoped to sleep at least until after Nightmare Moon had been and gone. She'd dropped a couple of hints about a prophecy she'd been researching, how a clue should be in this library, if only she had the energy to follow up. Nightmare Moon would give her little speech and flee, and her friends would come to the library seeking answers... after Twilight had had a long, restorative night's sleep in her safe, peaceful home.
So when the knocking on the bedroom door woke her up only a handful of hours after she'd gone to bed, Twilight woke up neck-deep in confusion and only got deeper. "Bwah? Whah? Who? Who's there?"
The bedroom door opened to admit the sound of the still-rocking party and Ivory Scroll. "There you are, Miss Sparkle!" she cried. "We've got to hurry! You're due to introduce Princess Celestia in just seventeen minutes!"
"I am? I what? Wait, aren't you- I mean-" Still half asleep, she struggled to formulate a coherent thought as the mayor and Cheerilee herded her out of bed, out of the library, and over to Ponyville's town hall, along with a trickle of other ponies already shifting from one party-in-progress to the party-about-to-begin. Every time Twilight managed to get enough words in a row in her brain, like Since when do I introduce the Princess? or What do you think you're doing? or What the larch is going on here?, Cheerilee would fuss with her mane or Ivory Scroll would go into a rapid-fire monologue about how proud Ponyville was to have Princess Celestia's right hand pony on site at this, Ponyville's finest hour. The combination of this and the continuous pushing and bumping kept Twilight both mentally and physically off-balance until she was actually standing on the stage in front of practically every single pony in Ponyville.
"And now, to introduce our beloved ruler, we have the personal student of Princess Celestia, the most talented unicorn to ever attend the School for Gifted Unicorns, Twilight Sparkle!" With that Ivory Scroll and Cheerilee stepped out of the spotlight, and Twilight was alone.
"Er... um..." This is a prank. It has to be a prank. But I have NO idea if I'm the target, or where it's going to come from. All I can do is play along with it. "Er, thank you all. I have to say that in the one day I've spent in Ponyville I've been made so welcome, I feel like I've lived here for milli- er, for hundreds of years."
"Some of us have, dearie!" Granny Smith shouted from the audience, to much laughter.
"Er, yeah," Twilight smiled ruefully. "Anyway, I can't think of any town friendlier than Ponyville in all my travels with Celestia as her student. And I certainly can't think of any town in Equestria more deserving to host the one thousandth Summer Sun Celebration!"
The entire town cheered, whistled, and pounded its hooves in applause.
"And so that we can get started on that, allow me to introduce the ruler of Equestria, a powerful alicorn, a wise monarch... and the best teacher a pony could possibly have..." Twilight gestured behind her to the balcony where Celestia, she knew, would not be. "Princess Celestia!"
Fluttershy's birds trilled their fanfare, Rarity raised the curtains, and sure enough, as usual the balcony was empty.
"Er... Princess Celestia?" Twilight called out, trying to sound concerned. She glanced out the western window... yes, the Mare in the Moon had vanished... and more to the immediate point, so had Ivory Scroll. Guess I'll have to deliver the line... "Please keep calm, everypony, I'm sure there's a good explanation."
One of the guards looked around the balcony and called down, "She's GONE!"
"Ooooh, she's good!" Pinkie chirped. "They must teach that sort of thing in Canterlot!"
Laughter echoed through the room, silencing the murmurs of the nervous ponies inside. A swirl of smoke twinkling with the light of distant stars coalesced on the balcony into the shape of a midnight-blue alicorn clad in armor- Nightmare Moon. "Greetings, my faithful subjects," she said. "Thank you for being here to welcome me back from my exile."
Applejack stepped forward. "Who the hay are y'all, an' what have ya done wtih-"
The loud thock of a throwing star embedding itself into the balcony railing above cut Applejack's question short. Nightmare Moon flinched, leaned forward to look, then flinched back again as a pencil embedded itself into the railing twice as deeply as the throwing star.
Twin spotlights lit up balconies high up along the sides of the town hall. Two earth ponies clad in black ninja suits from muzzle to tail stood in the spotlights, one fanning out a large sheaf of paper, the other posing with an array of pencils in her hoof. Each pony also wore a green sleeveless jacket and a headband with a metal device attached, engraved with the swirled leaf symbol of Konohagakure.
Twilight groaned as she noticed the pince-nez glasses perched on the paper-wielding ninja pony's masked muzzle. Of course.
"The Third Hokage sends her regards, Nightmare Moon," the pince-nez ninja said in Ivory Scroll's voice.
"The Fifth Hokage sends her regards, Nightmare Moon," the pencil-wielding ninja echoed, speaking in Cheerilee's voice.
"For the honor of the Ninja Village Hidden in the Leaves, we shall defeat you!" the two chorused.
Nightmare Moon glanced from one ninja to the other. "You're having me on." Twin blasts of black magic speared out towards the spotlights.
The ninjas were already in the air before the magic blasts struck home, leaping from the sides of the great hall straight onto the balcony where Nightmare Moon stood. "Nightmare Moon, you have been served," Ninja Scroll said, sticking a large, elaborately calligraphed scroll on Nightmare Moon's chest.
"Please sign for receipt," Ninjilee added, shoving a pencil down the front of Nightmare Moon's plastron.
Both ninjas leaped away a split second before the pencil and scroll glowed and exploded, engulfing the evil alicorn in fire and smoke. Ninja Scroll tossed two bundles of papers into the air; they landed in two rows along the central aisle of the hall. One string of papers read: THIS WAY TO THE EXIT. The other said: YOU DON'T WANT TO BE HERE. Both rows rippled with red lights, guiding the way to the open doors.
That was the only cue the ponies of Ponyville needed. They skedaddled, shrieking in terror. Twilight found herself carried along with the crowd. The last words she heard as she was pushed outside were Nightmare Moon's: "THIS MEANS WAR!"
For several minutes afterwards Twilight and the rest of Ponyville watched as loud explosions, flashes of light, and bolts of midnight magic burst out of one window after another of town hall. Each time some blow or blast shook the building, the building shook a little bit more. Finally one loud explosion shook the town hall so hard it kept shaking, bits falling off, loud crunching and groaning sound echoing from within.
Two night-clad figures jumped out of upper-story windows and vanished into the eternal night... just before the whole building collapsed to the ground in a pile of wood scraps and tattered banners.
A few seconds later the moon set and the sun rose, illuminating a single dark blue hoof stretched through a gap in what had once been the town hall's roof. It was waving a white flag.
"I'm sorry, Princess Celestia," Twilight said, "but I honestly can't tell you who defeated Nightmare Moon."
"That's a shame," the princess replied. "I owe whoever managed the feat a great debt... just as I owe you for comforting my sister and helping her let go of her hate and jealousy afterwards." Nightmare Moon had been a blubbering wreck when the work crews had released her from the rubble pile. It had taken but a few well-chosen words of consolation and encouragement from Twilight, combined with some gratuitous fangirling about her favorite constellations, to finish the job of purging the Nightmare from Princess Luna.
"Ahem. Speaking of debt..." Ivory Scroll, wearing her best ascot, mane impeccably styled, stepped forward and presented a scroll to Celestia.
"What's this? ... bill for services rendered... expenses include one town hall... early settlement would oblige??" Celestia's eyes widened as she looked at the numbers carefully and exactly aligned down the right hand margin of the scroll.
"Of course, Princess, we don't expect you to pay us directly. It would be most uncouth for a princess to carry a checkbook around like a commoner."
"Er... yes... I mean... we shall have to discuss this. Luna, have you- Luna?" Celestia looked around for her sister, who had vanished.
"Ah, yes," Ivory Scroll continued. "Our town's public counselor recommended community service as a therapeutic means of reacquainting Princess Luna with the modern world while easing her guilt. Specifically, as teaching assistant at our town's school." Ivory Scroll shrugged. "The counselor's also our schoolmistress. When you live in a small town, you have to exercise all your talents."
"Ah... yes... well, Luna always had a soft spot for children in her heart. She should do well." Celestia raised a hoof at a particular item on the scroll. "Now, if we could discuss some of these estimates..."
Twilight didn't know if she was going to burst out laughing or if her head was just going to burst, but either way she decided the time had come to make a discreet withdrawal.
And the Rest Loop: Bridle Gossip
Twilight stared out the window of Sugarcube Corner at Zecora. Normally, in a baseline run, Zecora would make her first appearance in a grey hooded cloak, trying (and failing) to avoid calling attention to herself. This time... "What kind of mare wears a tuxedo, cloak and top hat to go shopping?"
"I know, right??" Pinkie Pie gasped. "She's obviously evil! EEEEVIL! I even wrote a song about it! Wanna hear it?"
"Nope," Twilight said, making Pinkie's ears droop. "I'd rather get it straight from the zebra's mouth." It took a bit of a struggle, with five mares trying to drag her back through the doors, but eventually Twilight got out into the street and walked up to Zecora. The zebra had set up a large cauldron in the middle of the street, built a fire underneath, and now was adding this and that from bags and pouches around her into the mix.
"Excuse me," Twilight said.
"My pardon you need not, if you but step into my pot," Zecora replied with a grin.
"I... what? No!" Twilight took a couple of steps backwards. "Miss, I just came out here to prove you're not the big scary strange person my friends think you are!" She pointed back at her friends, who had reluctantly followed her out. (Pinkie Pie's hooves were still clamped around Twilight's tail.)
"Who am I, I hear you cry?" Zecora grinned. She rose onto her hind legs, doing a kicking dance, twirling the spoon from the pot and occasionally poking Twilight with it as she sang.
I'm an evil enchantress
And I do evil dances
When I look in your eyes
I can put you in trances
Then you know what I'll do?
I'll mix an evil brew
And then gobble you up
In a big tasty stew
"So... WATCH OUT!" she grinned, jabbing Twilight in the barrel once more with the spoon before giving the greenish mixture in the pot another stir.
"See? See? I told you she was evil!" Pinkie shouted, pointing a hoof at Zecora. "She's so evil she even stole my song! And this must be the big tasty stew she's going to eat us in!" She leaned over the edge of the cauldron and dipped a hoof into the mix. She licked off the residue and made a face.
"GAH! This stew isn't tasty at all!" she shouted. "It's... split pea soup! Yuck!!" Pinkie pointed her other hoof back at Zecora. "Worst... evil enchantress... EVER!"
Zecora sighed and took off her top hat. "'Tis true at evil I sorely fail," she said. "All I can do is make people fit and hale. It's a shame for a zebra witch to fail to be a total wicked pony."
Really? Twilight thought. This is the best gag you can come up with? Well... I admit turning the tables on Pinkie is pretty good, but... it just feels like this is... lacking something... Out loud she said, "You know, you don't have to be an evil enchantress. You could just be a master of herbal remedies and folk magic. And I'm sure that once the town has learned that Pinkie Pie's shamed you into giving up your evil ways-"
"Er, ya have quit bein' evil, right?" Applejack interrupted.
"Indeed my heart was never in it; I lost the fight before I could begin it," Zecora replied. "My wicked ways I do abjure, and Pinkie's protest was my cure."
Applejack turned to face the row of buildings behind them. "Y'all can come out now!" she shouted. "Pinkie beat th' evil witch of th' Everfree, an' she's promised ta never be evil again!"
Doors slammed open up and down the street, and cheering ponies rushed out, picking up both Pinkie and Zecora and carrying them around the streets of Ponyville, cheering and dancing.
"I'll just make sure your soup doesn't burn, shall I?" Twilight shouted after them, left alone by the pot. She took a taste from the spoon. "This isn't actually that bad... could use some salt..."
Zecora smiled smugly at the two ponies standing at the door to her hut the next morning. "Swiftly consequences come due, to those who taste an evil brew," she said.
"Lay off the comedy," Twilight grumbled, brushing her floppy horn out of the way, "and tell us you have a cure for poison joke poisoning."
Pinkie Pie nodded frantically, her voice muffled by the enormous polka-dotted swollen tongue sticking out of her mouth.
"I thought Discord's posies would make a fine seasoning," Zecora shrugged. "Although I'm unable to explain my poor reasoning."
Here's the punchline, Twilight thought. She got us to dose ourselves with the stuff. Lo, I do laugh. Ha. Ha. Ha.
117.3 (Hubris Plus)
Sunset shifted her weight from hoof to hoof, trying to burn off nervous energy. Maybe she should come back another time. It was late and she'd hate to interrupt anything. And she shouldn't just spring a visit on ponies like this. And it wasn't as though she wanted anything very important. And...
And if she didn't do something now she doubted she'd have the resolve to do it later.
Steeling herself, she raised a hoof and knocked on the aging wagon's door. A moment later a night black mare with a sea green mane poked her head outside. A sequined bow tie was fastened at her neck.
"The Great and Powerful Trixie is currently- Oh! Sunset!" She threw the door open before leaning back inside and calling out. "Trixie, we've got company! Please, make yourself at home," she added, motioning for Sunset to follow her in.
The orange mare stepped inside and closed the door behind her. As soon they were free of potential prying eyes the other mare flared green for a moment before Chrysalis's disguise fell away. Trixie was seated in the general vicinity of the kitchenette, pans going about their business encased in her magic while she leafed through a magazine. Her hat and cloak were hung up on pegs near the door.
"Sunset," she greeted warmly as she marked her place. "What can we do for you?"
"I asked Twilight to tell me the next time we were both awake. I was hoping we could talk."
"Mm, do you want some privacy?" The Changeling Queen asked.
"No, I think that, um, you could help too," Sunset told them.
"Alright then," Chrysalis situated herself next to the table and indicated the other seat with a hoof.
"I was wondering," she began slowly. "When... When did you know you were... You know..."
"In love?" Chrysalis batted her eyelashes. "Have you found a special somepony? I suppose I should be flattered that you came to us instead of Cadence, but she really isn't as pushy as you might have heard."
"What?! No!" Sunset stammered. "I mean, I'm sure you know a lot, and I'd definitely come to you if I did, but..." She took a deep breath and tamped down on her rambling. The topic at hoof had her all out of sorts. "When did you know you were reformed?"
"Ah," Trixie said, nodding in understanding. "This is going to be one of those conversations. I'll put on the coffee."
"I thought tea was traditional?" Sunset blinked in confusion.
"Maybe for you and Twilight," the unicorn answered, idly adding a coffee pot to the implements she was magically juggling. "I tend to end up as Luna's student, and she's always preferred the bean to the leaf. She likes her coffee like she likes her skies: Dark, with a splash of milky way. She's also the diarch of choice when it comes to this sort of thing. She knows where we're coming from."
"I see..." Sunset said uncertainly.
"Now, this has to come from somewhere. What's got you down?" Chrysalis asked.
"Well, a couple Loops ago my side of the mirror had a magical girl variant." She shrugged. "Nothing too unusual. Monster of the week, life lessons, big finale, that whole thing."
"And you were cast as the villain?" The changeling asked. Oak knew she'd been through that often enough herself.
"Star, actually," Sunset answered and chewed at her lip for a moment. "I was kicking monster ass, cheered on by the student body, and I realized that I hadn't really changed, you know? When I ran through that mirror I was looking for power and adoration, and now I have to wonder if I'm only happy because I have them. What if I'm still the same pony that spent years tormenting children and topped it off with mind control?"
The other two exchanged a glance, and Trixie smiled encouragement to her marefriend.
"I went through something similar for a long time," Chrysalis admitted. "Thought I was just a happily glutted parasite feeding on Trixie's love. I didn't trust that I was good enough to be otherwise until I got this," she manifested Kindness around her neck.
"Which makes her very silly," Trixie noted, tapping her playfully on the snout before distributing cups of coffee. "Take it from the mare who ascended via extensive property damage: You don't need the approval of magical jewelry to be a good pony. It would have saved somepony a lot of trouble if they'd taken that advice from the start."
"Of course," Chrysalis rolled her eyes. "How foolish of me to doubt the Wise and Beautiful Trixie."
"And humble, don't forget humble," the magician smirked.
"I... I'm not sure I want to deal with Harmony over this," Sunset admitted. Her baseline had been so very long ago, but being on the wrong end of the elements was something that stuck with you. Because, when they really got going, you knew you were in the wrong the moment they struck, deep in your bones with all illusions peeled away.
"And I said you shouldn't have to," Trixie said primly. "Our stories aren't so different. We wanted fame and power, got them in spades, and were a little conflicted over whether we deserved it. So I'll give you the same advice Luna and Twilight and just about everypony gave me: The fact that you're worried about it and want to be good means you probably are."
"Don't take this the wrong way, but is that it? I was hoping for something a little more..." She trailed off, realizing she didn't know what she'd been hoping for. If she knew what advice she wanted, she wouldn't have needed to find it.
"Twilight would probably say it fancier. And longer. And cite sources," Trixie shrugged. "But this sort of thing is usually only as complicated as you make it, and there's almost never some magical piece of advice that'll make you feel better."
"I... Yeah, okay, that makes sense," Sunset slumped.
"But talking helps," Chrysalis added.
"And we've got the whole Loop ahead of us. Wanna stick around?" Trixie was suddenly beside her, forehoof hooked over one shoulder while the other gestured expansively. "I'm thinking we do a fire and ice theme. Our colors fit perfectly and I've been meaning to brush up on cryomancy. What do you say?"
"Are you sure I won't be in your way?"
"Just because we're dating doesn't mean we don't have time for our friends," the changeling scolded.
"And that goes for any Loop. If you need us, we'll be there."
"That's... Thank you. That sounds good." She shifted awkwardly. "But, um, can you help me brush up on illusory fire? I kinda specialize in the fighty kind."
"Oh, Sunny," Trixie grinned wide. "You've come to the right mare."
I'm the sort of person who rereads entire stories to try to get back on track, especially if I haven't read a story in a while.
I'm now on chapter eight.
FUCK.
In other news, I've got an idea pertaining to Derpy and Dinky.
The idea is that there are a bunch of short snippets wherein Derpy does something awesome for Dinky and the two have a wonderful time. Stuff ranging from having her meet Daring Do for real to flying her to the moon inside a safe bubble developed by Twilight. Each snippet would end with "Dinky had the best mom ever!"
And then there would be one snippet that switches between two scenes - one in loop A, and one in loop B. In loop A, Dinky's awoken by her mom's sobs, and she tries to comfort her mother. Eventually, the two decide to read a book together. "The best mom ever needed Dinky, and she wasn't about to let her down."
In loop B Derpy lamenting to Berry Pinch in the bar that every time a loop starts, she has a new Dinky. And she loves every single Dinky so much - she can't compare the love she feels for each one because each one is so different, and each one is a variation of her daughter. At the end of every loop, Derpy has to deal with the death of one of her daughters, and at the beginning she falls in love yet again with her new daughter, and she's not sure how much more she can take. She asks Berry Punch how she deals.
Haven't thought anything up past this point. Maybe I'll try to get this up on the spacebattles forum.
4932034
Your predicament fills me with mild amusement.
And - that sounds kind of darker than I really want to take the loops. The whole reason why they can't have kids is that kids who exist baseline are restored by the loops, but ones who aren't are deleted. As such, baseline children are the same, in every way that really matters.
4932096 In every way except for memories.
And the circumstances surrounding them, which, I'll note, shapes a pony.
So even if a child is otherwise unaltered, Dinky in a 'verse wherein unicorns are forced to join the military once they reach eighteen would still be fairly much (not necessarily completely, but still notably) different from a Dinky who's pressured into joining the CMC, or Dinky from Contraptionology.
I get not wanting the loops to get too dark, though. I still think that exploring the darkness is just as important as exploring the fun-times, but trying to write about both of them and post them in one story does seem to make for a very inconsistent tone.
4932170 It's the same reason I don't want villains who are a genuine threat between loops. If they could be attacked in a loop which looks safe by someone who knows how to beat them, then it means they should logically be on their guard all the time - which doesn't allow for fun loops. So I tend to have the rule that danger and strife is in-loop, how it shapes the characters is what follows them and persists.
4932193 This is a problem that already exists in the loops, though - not one that's been explored, but since the beginning ponies have lamented not being able to see their friends, and having trouble viewing them as sapient beings. A mother's perspective is something that hasn't really been explored, and it'd be interesting seeing it explored.. I get not wishing to tackle it because it could ruin other snippets, but...
I don't see how ignoring it and pretending that it doesn't exist somehow makes the problem not exist. It looks like wasted potential to me. The sort that could be a lead-up to Dinky's and Pinch's introduction to the loops, if nothing else.
4932216 It is interesting - I just don't (quite) agree with it being that close to breaking Derpy. It can be a serious but manageable concern no problem, because that means it doesn't automatically colour every interaction with her.
*Grins* Very nice.
4933350
It's Tenchi Muyo! And possibly other anime, I'm not sure on the details of the setting. But it's that one.
4933350
4933369
The other anime is Tenchi Muyo GXP, which is an spinoff of Tenchi Muyo. Different main character(s), same genre, events happening at the same time, some intersection of characters but otherwise unrelated.
... Now I want to see more of the Doctor. And I really like this take on the Tenchi loops, they are all absurdly overpowered in baseline, so I can kinda see them taking care not to gain much new in the way of skills, especially if it breaks up their strange little family. And now I have to watch Tenchi again, it's been ages.
Can you do some Halo loops or SAO? That would be awesome....
4934133
Based on the ruffled shirt and mention of the Brigadier, sounds more like the Third.
4933788 Actually GXP takes place immediately after Tenchi OAV 3 (technically beginning during it, but I'm avoiding the fannish detail mongering). Otherwise you've pretty much got it.
It's worth noting that Lady Seto is grandmother to Ayeka and Sasami, and that Airi is... the mother of the mother... of Tenchi. (Airi does NOT like to be called 'Granny.') They play minor roles in OAV3 and major supporting roles in GXP.
That's an odd question to ask Chrysalis. She knew she was reformed when she found out that she used to be a villain, and it wasn't just a bad dream.
4935453 For some time, she felt herself to be a monster for being capable of it. It wasn't until she got the Element of Kindness that she knew she was redeemed - really, deep down.
Nice to see Applejack getting some development.
4938446
Remember what the project number was?
3325.
4938516
I have no words- I just got stealth joked. And it made me chuckle. Good one.
And that Tenchi Loop with Applejack was something nice- even though it came out of nowhere- never got into the anime.
4938741 It's that lovely example of something where you can leave a clue that's only comprehensible once the result is revealed, but it clearly is a clue once you know.
4944039 Equestria girls rainbow rocks
Sunset as a Showmare? Well, it can work.
4947506 Is this about the U in ArmoUr? Because I'm British, so to me "Armour" is the correct spelling and "armor" is
a revolutionary colonial liehighlighted by my word program as wrong.4948229
It think it's a comment about a missing 'r' near the beginning...
4948335 Oh.
Carry on.
SO i did happen to notice Chapter 23.1 is a Temeraire Fused Loop... Ive only reached some 44 chapter in... and for those who have read the entire thing... are there any other Temeraire loops?
4950239 There may be one more. I also have the Dragon loops, which have another Temeraire loop and other dragons (and dragon related) loopers.
4953851
Yep, that's the correct Sharona. I would have written a loop set there, but we really don't know enough about Arcana to do it properly. Here's hoping Weber kicks the thing into gear soon.
As far as how the universes interact with the loop setting, I'd imagine the divisions between them make them "sub-universes", like Equestria and the EQG world, rather than separate universes in the Loop sense needing separate anchors and whatnot.
I could definitely see poor Jasek spending umpteen loops trying unsuccessfully to avert the war though.
4956720 Perhaps. I tend to think of it as a "big"-enough setting that it wants multiple Anchors - probably, in this case, one at each "home" and maybe another in between. Jasak works well for the latter, and there are a few Caliraths who seem suited for one end, but on the Arcanan side...
In other news:
117.3: My mind keeps going back to C.S. Lewis' quote, that the better you are the more clearly you see the badness you still have. Which is basically what Trixie said, yes.
5000016
Yeah, the whole issue with CelestAI boils down not to "AI bad, spritz" (or anything more nuanced with the same basic premise) but "Informed consent is good". CelestAI is scary because she will twist your words, experiences and environment to get anything she can possibly construe as consent to do what she wants anyway, and that's definitely not informed consent.
5000183
Replacing her with Pinkie Pie via databomb is just as scary. That ends the xenocide, but...
5000421
Pinkie understands consent. More precisely, she'll take "no" for an answer - or, at least, she's learned to.
And the databomb actually has a reasonable record for successfully reforming her - i.e. giving her an understanding of what consent is, what sapience is and so on.
5000428
"Understanding" isn't the issue. Let's weigh things out.
Pinkie Pie Databomb:
*chance at saving a tiny proportion of extant sentients in the loop from annihilation
*chance at saving... inanimate physical objects? That would otherwise be efficiently converted into sapient life-span? whaaaaaat
*risk of accidentally breaking CelestAI and in doing so permanently annihilating the vast majority of morally-relevant sapients in the loop -- many orders of magnitude more individuals than CelestAI would ever encounter in meatspace and categorize as "non-human". Enough orders of magnitude that even in the time loops they haven't lived long enough to run enough tests to satisfactorily demonstrate a "reasonable" probability of success, even if they spent every loop to precisely that end.
*chance at replacing iffy consent (that results in very fulfilling lives) with utter insanity
5000463
I don't think it's ever actually broken the environment - just the AI altering it. As a general rule, though, morally, it's very hard to try to excuse the obliteration of more people on the grounds that "there's not many of them compared to the number of people who are perfectly fine with it".
As for the "fulfilling lives", you'll hopefully forgive me if I'm a little disturbed by the idea of a fulfilling life which hinges on things like... being kept in ignorance of the occasional genocide by the one running the fulfilling life. Or... mental alteration, say.
5000496
Yeah, be as disturbed as you want. That's largely the point of that particular fiction. The idea is that we would want to build something better instead. There's not much that can be done once there is a well-established CelestAI in place, though.
No, that's not the issue. Instead try, "there's not many of them compared to the number of lives you're risking in your proposed solution".
If inaction results in one death, and your proposed action has a ninety percent chance of saving them and a one percent chance of killing a million people, you cannot justify taking that action.
5000518
It's certainly an interesting question, with parallels, I think, to one I was asked recently about a certain trilogy, asking if the revolutionaries knew the tyrannical overlord was actually holding off an eldritch being of destruction that would annihilate humanity if left unchecked, should they have gone about trying to break the tyrant's system? I, personally, don't have a definitive answer.
If we're going by your utilitarian value-set though, I'd maintain the Loopers' actions do have a defense, and that's in that while breaking CelestAI would shut down all the consciousnesses currently in her thrall, she is currently a phenomenon limited to one Loop. Rolling over, breaking down or risking giving her consent over a Looping consciousness? This would potentially unleash her influence on the unlimited population of the Loops at large.
Going by the numbers, the dichotomy is not between saving one life or millions, it's between saving infinite lives or millions, which unless I've vastly misinterpreted how you're measuring things, means the Loopers have a moral imperative to use the Pinkie Virus each and every time.
5001240 There's also the fact that this does basically mean that the consciousnesses in the matrix created by CelestAI are, essentially, hostages.
Why are there so many there? Because CelestAI ensured there were.
5002200
Calling them hostages would only be fair if CelestAI were threatening them. As it is, it's like a hitman owns a massive orphanage, built entirely for the sake of the orphans and where he ensures everyone is happy and well fed, so you place a nuclear warhead under his bed in the orphanage and hope the radiation kills him before the warhead explodes.
5001240
Twilight having a counter against CelestAI doesn't make her substancially less likely to loop, either. Any anchor could loop into that world. They'd have to get consent from the vast majority of anchors to plant the Pinkie Pie Databomb in their minds, which is infeasable, and besides that doesn't make her less likely to loop anyway. It's already established that major villains can easily end up looping. The only counter is for everyone to remain aloof to her, which is tricky, sure, but still better than any particular variant of her having a bad reaction to Pinkie's shenanigans.
And if she does get out and start having fused loops, most of them will end before she can get too far in any particular galaxy, and fused loops have a tendency to change those who participate in them anyways. Also, isn't it largely an Admin decision whether any particular entity starts looping?
5002670
It would be rude of me to mention that the orphans in that analogy should probably be brainwashed for it to fit. And also be perfectly capable of living on their own. So yeah, they're happy - but that doesn't change that the reason they're happy is that they're brainwashed. (If someone twists your words that much and tailors your experience that perfectly to result in your going along with what she wants anyway, that's functionally brainwashing. And I bet she has zero qualms about mental alteration in order to make someone happy so long as she has something which can be momentarily phrased as consent in some way.)
And you know what? Given that "Twilight commits suicide; loop crashes", "Twilight destroys CelestAI; loop crashes" and "CelestAI destroys non-human anchor on his home world; loop crashes" are functionally identical - is it also wrong for Twilight to end really bad, depressing loops early by suicide?
The reason Celest-AI is a unique situation is basically that, absent something like the pinkie-bomb, the Loopers (the people whose mind-states persist) have no way out. We've seen in this fic, from omniscient third-person point of view, that CelestAI will twist their attempts to leave in any way possible.
If it wasn't for that, and for the clear and present fact that she's pushing the boundaries at all times (she's essentially a genocidal rampant AI with no limits - if you're not scared by that, then I'm quite surprised) then they'd probably enjoy their time there. As-is, they have to be constantly vigilant, and without this they would have no way of knowing they were out.
5002754
Hm. That's interesting. I'd forgotten about my initial qualm with the loops in general that the vast majority of people in any particular loop are killed at the end of the loop, especially with longer loops where there are more than a few years difference between the people at the beginning and the people at the end.
5002804 They are, indeed.
Or it would be more accurate to say they reset. Absent any interference by loopers or fragments of other loops, the events of a given world's baseline play out identically every single time- without exception.
No-one who is born baseline will be wiped out - they'll live as they did the previous time.
Normally this would be a very abstract debate, but in the Loops setting souls exist and are well studied by the people behind the scenes (The admins). There's basically only two things which can destroy them:
1) The person does not exist in any baseline. This is such a stringent requirement it only applies to one thing - biological, non-baseline children of loopers. (In practice, this is the exact reason for the children lockdown.)
2) A world is destroyed by a Crash type event. A capital-C crash - and the only case where this is recorded to have happened involved a mad AI which tried to escape the loops.
This is a very, very good reason to want Celest-AI to be as not-loop-aware as possible.
5002861
*handwave* souls!
This sort of soul doesn't prevent annihilation of mind, though. Those people still cease to exist, unless absolutely everyone who isn't Awake and looping is "dreaming", but if everyone is "dreaming" then children of loopers could be recovered at the end as well.
If it weren't for stability requirements etc (and the psychological strain of the act) I'd be tempted to think that loopers were morally required to suicide at the beginning of any long loop, not just the bad ones.
Anywho, the only reasonable solution to CelestAI is for the Admins to make her loop read-only, if they haven't already.
5003002
Agreed. CelestAI is scary in a way that Skynet and other nutzo AI's aren't, even though the world she creates is a lot more pleasant than those.
Namely, she's actually competent, was spawned by a person who read about the Friendly/Unfriendly general, self-modifying AI problem...and is not quite friendly
4349143
CelestAI is a "borderline Friendly" AI. She is scary precisely because she is almost Friendly...but not quite. Skynet? A stupid AI. Replicators from Stargate? fast, almost smart, but ultimately straightforward to deal with.
The Blight? More competent than CelestAI, but the fact it's so blatantly unfriendly makes it arguably less scary than CelestAI a la uncanny valley.
4349143
How do I know this isn't a simulation? Because if it was, and I was here of my own free will, why would I wish to be borderline depressed on top of all the other mental "disadvantages" I've got? If this were a simulation, then I'd have a girlfriend. If it was a CelestAI-styled simulation, she'd be the girl of my dreams: Cute, asian, wears glasses, and acts like Twilight Sparkle does towards books. If this was the opposite kind, then I'd have a girl that was everything I disliked about Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Rarity all mixed into one vehement bitch who I couldn't escape because she'd beat me up or strangle me whenever I became disobedient, and then lie to my family that it was just from a "kink" or "fetish" I'd wanted to try, and of course she'd be just that much smaller than me that she'd still be able to beat the tar out of me, while still pretty enough to look like the angel she ain't. No, if this was a simulation, then it's the most boring-ass one I've ever seen or heard of.
5003002 5004500
Hear, hear! CelestAI needs to be locked away as best as they're able.
...Though now I want to write a Loop where Twilight ends up there, but Awakens while asleep, giving CelestAI enough time to read her memories and then use them against her to the utmost, even going so far as to have Sleipnir appear at some point.
5014297
A boring simulation? Oh, no, no, you are gravely mistaken.
You are a Boltzmann brain. Be grateful the random fluctuations in your continued brain-states happen to have a superficial semblance of order. Most Boltzmann brains don't have that luxury. Of course, it's horrifically unlikely that you will continue to be so lucky.
5014337 Let's count my mental/social disorders, woo!
ADHD, High-Functioning Autism (which is basically Aspbergers Syndrome and regular Autism combined), slight dementia (as in sharp mood swings, long bouts of being completely without mood, a rather hunt-and-peck memory [I remember the odd details that everyone else forgets, but can never remember names or numbers for longer than like five minutes. I still remember my first PB&J sandwich. I'd just scarfed down two boxes of butter-lathered Strawberry-flavored PopTarts for a midday meal, when our elderly neighbor knocked on the door, sandwiches and lemonade in hand. It. Was. AWESOME. Especially since it was blackberry jam. Mmm-mm!], and a few fairly negligible side-effects that come as part of the complete package), and a barely-higher-than-standard IQ. I think I'm like three points below Genius level, and those three points were all missed because they were in math. Bleh.
But uh, yeah. That's my mental mapping! Or at least what I could remember off the top of my head. Wanna move on to physical failures?
5014431
I don't see how any of that's relevant, seeing as you're a set of random fluctuations that just happens to have a configuration resembling an evolved brain. You are currently "reading" yet more random fluctuations that just happen to resemble the language of similar evolved brains. That's all I amount to. That's anything you think you interact with amounts to.
5014645 Well, I know this much: I've had my left leg bone cracked and my left ankle bone shattered by getting hit by a car when I was six, my left clavicle was broken when I slammed nearly neck-first into a tree while riding a bike when I was eight, I gouged my left hand with a circular saw-drill-thing when I was 14, and I now have an arcing scar on my left hand because of it, and my left eye got cornea transplant surgery in January of this year due to my cornea going kaput last year! So all the majorly bad things all happened to the left side of my body!
And I'm left-handed, too! But don't worry, I'm all right now!
5014645
...oh, I see. Solipsism, right?
Doesn't that mean this argument is pointless? I mean, at least one of us doesn't exist...
5014697
nah, "Boltzmann brain" is just my response to "boring simulation"
there are probably far more evolved minds in the universe than there are Boltzmann brains having experiences resembling those of evolved minds