My name is Rachel. Or at least it was. A bad decision brought me to the brink of death. I was "rescued" from that fate by some self-appointed "Spirit of Chaos." Or maybe he really was the devil, I don't know. He promised me a second chance but didn't tell me it would be in the body of a cutesy pony in a world which makes no sense. Worse, I think I've been set up, and something bigger is going on ...
(Rated teen for language and non-gory violence)
Cover art by the talented NoviceCreedArt on tumblr. Link to original work.
I'm putting a fave on this. i want to see where it goes....
A bit cliche'd... but charming... in a grisly sort of way.
Hmm..., I've seen this type of story done on here before, but I'm a sucker for this type of story. So, let see were this one goes.
i think im the first to hammer that like button lol. Moar please
Intriguing. Let's see what happens next.
I love all the hints Discord left in his speech and introduction to her. No reversals for one sticks out. Wonder how she'll adjust to the more idyllic life of Ponyville.
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Thanks! Glad you like it so far.
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I'll be the first to admit that this is a subject that's been done before, but I hope to spin an interesting tale with it nonetheless.
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I actually do have another chapter written in draft form, but I always like to be a few chapters ahead so I have a clear direction where the plot is headed.
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Thanks! This was a little tricky because much of Discord's antics are visual in nature, so I had to convey all that in dialogue instead. The very first version of that scene actually did have Discord doing a few more visual things to her, but I decided it really didn't work.
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And I bet you will
I like it! :)
Pretty good so far. (Although, from the story description, I was convinced that this was going to be an Animorphs spin-off
). Looking forward to more!
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Very solid start, pacing is good, characters are perfect thus far and our hero is believable.
My only problem is I didn't find this AFTER a couple months with more chapters to read. Now... now I must wait. I'll wait right here...
d2ws0xxnnorfdo.cloudfront.net/meme/295813
6786794 I agree with this!
Keep writing good sir or madam
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Thanks!
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Thank you, I'm glad the OC protagonist seems to be working so far. A lot of the story is going to center around her getting used to her transformation while trying to figure out if something else is going on.
Also, glad to hear I have the show characters right. This is my first story where I'll be featuring all the main cast, so any feedback on that is welcome.
6787083![:twilightsmile:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/twilightsmile.png)
Thanks!
This looks promising. Like a lot of HIE stories it does tread a little old ground that's been done before, but it's tough to do all that differently granted the type of story, but the characterization is done well, and the writing is of good quality, and I'm a sucker for a fish out of water story. I'll be watching and awaiting more content, I have a feeling I'm going to like this.
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Thanks! I always feel that no story concept should be off-limits because others have done it before. Any story concept can be handled badly or handled well (naturally I'm hoping my effort will be in the latter category
What's it called when you visit dead people in your sleep? And does anyone know why Einstein gets frustrated when you say hi to him? Of course it might just be lucid dreaming but still.
6795555 maybe 'cause he's german and would like to be talk to in his language?
6795784 that may be it.
so someone meet discord ...aka Q and they want to throw things why is this a trend
Also endurance, their connection to the earth beneath their hooves (ever notice that Sweet Apple Acres is nearly ALWAYS burgeoning with fruit?) and presumably they have fine mane and tail control (as we can see in The Cutie Pox, Power Ponies and Bats!, for example.)
6795555![:pinkiesmile:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/pinkiesmile.png)
A bit of a surreal comment, but at least it means you're reading my story
6795568![:twilightsmile:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/twilightsmile.png)
Thanks!
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I guess he has that kind of personality which invites that sort of thing ...
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Yep, very true. If Rachel does wind up going back to the Apple farm for whatever reason, she'll likely make note of those things. It's been fun writing the story from her perspective and her reactions to all the weirdness (by her reckoning) that she sees around her.
Her interactions with the other characters are a mix of ones that I specifically planned because they're tied into the overall plot and others that develop organically as I write. So some of the Mane Six will likely get more "screen time" than others.
Psssh
That's a good one! I'm gonna have to use that!
6799353![:pinkiehappy:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/pinkiehappy.png)
Be my guest. I can't be the only writer who came up with that
6798760 life is kinda surreal around me. I hide it as much as I can. And of course I'll read your story! Well I'll continue.
My name is Rachel and now I'm a spawn of Discord
My God, did she really do something straight out of a Looney Toons cartoon? -- Looney Tunes
"The colors go together fabulously and compliment your coat very well." -- complement
6810974![:raritywink:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/raritywink.png)
Life is always full of coincidences
6811238![:twilightsmile:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/twilightsmile.png)
Thank you! Fixed!
She's either going to go everywhere the pendant goes, or she's just going to flat out refuse Twilight, isn't she?
As she should, obviously. If it's important...
Her paranoia is going to come to a head soon I fear, either with her attempting to run off or by slipping up and yelling something about her former life to somepony. Either way I doubt she'll manage to keep this level of stress up long.
I think Twilight just wants to get her hooves on the Amulet since it has Starswirl's picture on it. She is a bit obsessed with him. I really hope Nurse Red Heart wasn't trying to steal it, but it sure seems to be that way. Still, Rachel's interaction with Luna was very interesting and I have to wonder just what happened on Earth.
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Her dilemma really is that she needs someone she can trust, and it's hard to know who can be trusted when she's thrust into a world where even just how basic physics work are confusing (Pinkie Pie notwithstanding)
6811522![:pinkiehappy:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/pinkiehappy.png)
Thanks
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Or events conspire to force her hand, er, hoof.
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Many of the characters are being motivated to act the way they are because of bigger events going on in Equestria that Rachel is not yet privy to (and hence the reader, since she's the sole narrator). For example, Rainbow Dash's suspicion of her is motivated by those bigger events. There are some subtle hints in this chapter, however, that will become a lot more clear rather soonish.
In fact, the hay may start hitting the fan as soon as next chapter![:raritywink:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/raritywink.png)
Awesome can't wait for the next chapter, wonder why the changelings want the pendant
6825155 I suppose that just like all the other, they believe it to be some crazy-powerful old relic from Starswirl.
And maybe it is, it got dumped trough the mirror and Discord decided to bring it back to create some chaos.
He did use a weird tone when he said he wouldn't separate Rachel from the pendant...
OOOHHHH, Changelings!!!! GRAB THE PITCHFORKS AND TORCHES, WE'RE GOING ON A BUG HUNT!!!
um maybe not a bug hunt but one queen ling
*Slaps mag into C7*
Right boys, lock and load! We got some bugs to kill!
You write really well. Ah love how descriptive and elegant this chapter is.
Yer awesome.
6825155![:twilightsmile:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/twilightsmile.png)
Thanks!
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Discord is fond of being random, but that doesn't mean he doesn't have an agenda from time to time.
6825760![:pinkiesmile:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/pinkiesmile.png)
Thank you
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Don't forget the big industrial sized can of Raid just to be safe ...
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I'm glad you enjoy my writing style
Thank you very much!
6826526![:raritywink:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/raritywink.png)
Interesting speculation. Naturally I won't be giving any spoilers
Uuuuuuu... (Sets TARDIS scanner for ponyvil hospital) HOW DID I NOT NOTICE THAT???
6827225 No, you put the Raid in a pool disguised as water, then when the on fire changelings dive in to put out the flames...... FWOOOSH!
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Hm... what might be interesting would be if the spells they cast made her start to forget the person she was and gain memories of the pony she's become.
oh, they're kind of like the Blue Angels. Except they're ponies.
True story![:moustache:](https://static.fimfiction.net/images/emoticons/moustache.png)
6838778 They are the Blue Angels... well living pony Blue Angels