Valmont stared down at the prone form of Dai Gui, who remained unmoving even after a full ten minutes. "...is he dead?" he asked Bai Tza nervously.
"No," she responded immediately. "If he were, he'd have dissolved into his elemental energy and his spirit would be flying around. He's just...very unconscious."
Valmont sighed in relief. "Well that's a load off my mind," he allowed. "If he were dead, we'd be stuck with a third wheel for far too long." He smiled as that got a chuckle out of her. Noticing Jade and her friends approaching, he smiled their way. "I take it you're going to banish him now?" he asked pleasantly.
"That's the plan," Sweetie Belle confirmed. "He was planning to conquer and hurt a lot of people."
"Is that a problem?" Jade asked challengingly.
"Not at all," Valmont offered graciously. "He refused to abide by our agreement, and that meant our association was terminated. I have other clients to attend to, and he is no longer any of my concern at this time." He turned towards Tohru. "Besides, I would be a fool to pick a fight with someone who just punched out a demon in front of an entire tribe who respect strength and kindness above all else. They'd probably take it as a religious obligation to assist him."
"Aren'tcha gonna lose money payin' everyone back for th' event?" Apple Bloom asked curiously.
Valmont chuckled wickedly. "You didn't think I'd take in this much money and not anticipate everything falling apart, did you? The ticket contract mentioned how Dai Gui was under contract regarding this event...which he was under the agreement that he followed my guidance on how to not get banished again. The plan here was to get him to become an accepted member of the community, and possibly worshiped as a local Earth Spirit so he would have a religious kingdom here if not a secular one. Of course, he refused to listen to a 'mere human', so he's the one who violated the contract. That means he's the one who owes them a refund."
All four girls burst into giggles as they prepared the banishment spell. "Sounds like we're doing him a favor banishing him," Scootaloo joked. "The courts can't reach him in the Netherrealm, right?"
"I wouldn't lay money that way," Hsi Wu offered wickedly, grinning from ear to human ear.
Once the banishment was complete, the gathered people began to disperse. Valmont stuck around, curious as to why Tohru had reacted so strongly. He shifted discreetly over to where he could hear what was being said as the large man and the three minotaur girls - who hadn't released him from the moment he punched out Dai Gui - were standing before the older woman...who Valmont now recognized as Tohru's mother.
"Mother, this is Sofia, Lucia, and Ysabelle," Tohru spoke up, introducing the three girls to her. "They were caretakers of this temple...though now that Dai Gui's portal is permanently sealed, they are freed from that magical obligation and have asked me to be their guide around the world." He smiled down at the girls as they grinned up at him.
Mrs. T clapped her hands happily together. (1)"My baby boy!" she declared expansively. "You make your momma proud! Three fine ladies such as these, so beautiful and sweet..." She shifted to look at the girls from different angles. "And such modest beauties, too! And minotaurs are known to have a very easy time giving birth, so they'll give strong grandkids! You have such fine taste, Tohru!"
"M-Mommy!" Tohru whined, lowering his head in embarrassment as all three girls' faces bloomed like matching tomatoes...only to cling all the tighter to him.
Mrs. T pulled out her wallet and handed Tohru a large wad of bills. "Go! Treat them to a nice dinner for their first night out of the Temple. The sooner you date, the sooner you marry, and the sooner I get grandchildren! And I want it in that order!"
Sofia found it in her to speak up. "Umm...Ma'am-"
"None of that!" Mrs. T interrupted. "You can call me Mother, sweetheart."
Sofia's cheeks turned, if possible, even redder. "Mother...it's part of minotaur tradition-"
"Yes, yes, I know!" Mrs. T interrupted. "Engagements might last as long as a decade to ensure when the union is blessed it is complete, because polygamy is accepted but polyamory is not(2), and nothing is thought of a child being born post engagement but before the wedding. But I know my baby boy! It will take him long enough just to get used to the idea of having three wives, and the last thing girls as shy as you need is one of your tribal sisters with a more assertive bent joining in and stealing all his attention. Trust me, speed things up...but not too fast!"
Valmont chuckled as he stepped closer to make himself known. "It seems you haven't changed all that much, Ma'am," he greeted warmly.
"Ah, it's nice Mr. Valmont!" Mrs. T greeted warmly. "I'm so glad to see you and my boy are still on good terms even if he chose a new line of work."
Noticing Tohru tensing up, Valmont smiled softly. No need to skew relations here. "Yes, well, our long term goals became...incompatible, and he chose to go his own way. Still, there's nothing personal in it, even if he has joined the...competition, shall we say?"
Mrs. T chuckled knowingly. "Oh, no need to be delicate around me. I knew you were part of criminal enterprise from the moment I first met you."
Valmont and Tohru both pulled back in shock. "Y-you did?" Valmont asked in surprise. "And you were so happy that he found his way to work for - to be blunt - a criminal overlord?"
"Look at him!" Mrs. T pointed out, grasping Tohru's arm to show the size of his muscles. "Large, well muscled, intimidating, socially awkward...being somebody's criminal muscle was inevitable. Much better bodyguard to a gentleman kingpin than Yakuza enforcer. Much lower chances someone shows up at my door to try and break my knees to make him behave, and much better accommodation when I visit him at work."
"And being on the wrong side of the law?" Valmont asked carefully.
"Pfeh! Law-shmaw!" Mrs. T dismissed. "Big paycheck make good work around for social awkwardness. Knew somewhere there'd be a girl patient enough to see how much of a sweetheart my baby boy is! And with how you are with your men, I was waiting till we knew each other well enough I could ask you to help him find one!"
Valmont chuckled softly. "If I'd known that was a concern, I'd have started looking long ago to pair him off. Though I doubt I'd have had as much luck as he's had now." He turned to Tohru and the girls. "So they're going to be going with you back to San Fran? Passports and tickets in order?" Seeing Ysabelle's eyes widen in shock, he smiled. "Didn't think so. Here." He handed Tohru a card. "An associate of mine can expedite things in that regard so you can all head home tomorrow, the day after at the latest. I'll be letting him know to expect you and what you need on my way out."
Tohru blinked in surprise, then bowed gratefully. "T-thank you."
"No need to look so shocked, Tohru," Valmont offered warmly. "One thing I was always firm on was that my employees were happy to work for me. Just because you don't work for me anymore doesn't mean I'm any less invested in your happiness."
Tohru smiled widely. "I'll remember that..."
That night, as the Chans and others stayed at their hotel while they waited for Tohru's girlfriends' 'expedited passports', Viper stood irritably in front of the now inactive Armor of the Immortals. "Alright Sharaka," she began firmly. "Let's get one thing straight. I get you like Jackie and he's just your type...but I saw him first. He's mine, and I don't like the idea of you molesting him every time he has to put you on. I'm sure the girls will find some way to accelerate your recharge without feeding you a person, so he'll be wearing you again before long...but none of that groping! Only I get to do that, understand?"
Shadows shifted, making the armor seem to loom aggressively. Viper huffed. "I'm not afraid of you," she stated flatly. "After all, Jackie'd be very upset if you ate me-"
The armor suddenly blazed with light. When the light faded, Viper found her clothes from the day across the room, and the armor clinging to her body very suggestively...especially with the way it left so much of the skin of her torso exposed. Seeing her reflection, she couldn't help but run her hands over it. "I like the look...but I don't see what you're getting at-"
Bits of the armor pulled back slightly, only to resettle. Viper's eyes widened. "So...is this your idea of a compromise? And a way to accelerate your recharge?"
The armor flexed pleasantly around Viper's body, and she grinned widely. "Well, I certainly wasn't about to let Jackie get away with having some other girl get their hands on him..." she purred wickedly. "I think I'll go slip into his room. I think I can be quite...convincing."
(1) Line submitted by EchoWing, and I just had to use it...with a few tweaks.
(2) For those who don't quite grasp the meaning here...minotaurs have no problems with the idea of a marriage encompassing more than 2 people, but the idea of anyone in a marriage seeking sex or romance outside the union is unthinkable. As such, the 'engagement' is kept long to ensure that it is a 'complete union', so no ones' eyes will stray once married.
Include her more. The comedic gold is so worth it.
I really like your Vermont - sharp,cool and gentleman. From the end of this chapter, I feel pity for Jackie.
After reading Mrs. T's lines between sweet and sugary to growling agitation, do you really think I want to keep seeing heR POP UP MORE OFTEN?!
......
OF COURSE I WANT TO SEE MORE OF MRS. T! Do what you will to involve her in future episodes dude! I'll enjoy it and have some fun switching vocal tones in my head!
Wow. I had Ms T pegged all wrong! 10 outta 10. 10 outta friggin' 10!
This sounds like the start of a beautiful friendship.
Have Mrs. T move to San Francisco. That way she can be a more viable recurring character, someone has to make sure Tohru's wedding moves according to her schedule, while not showing up for every adventure.
And since her occupation was never confirmed in the show, just imagine the possibilities if she were to get a job at a certain school. After all, she'll probably want to get to know Tohru's little sister better.
Side stories with Mrs. T?
"You can call me Mother, sweetheart.
1. Forgot your closing quotation mark.
I'd say you can include Tohru's mother more. After all, you write her to a comedic T.
Not sure if Dai Gui is happy about this kind of Demonic Payback.
Guess Sharaka should be added as another clingy girlfriend for our heroes.
Tats you got a beautiful King of Thieves going and if this keeps up he might become Emperor of Thieves.
Involve her dating uncle that way we get more of her and she can pester her son and bond to her new daughter's in law
Yes. Yes to more Mrs. T. Yes to this chapter. Yes to this story.
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It was firmly established much earlier in the story that them dating was not going to happen.
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I love Vermont, too! I go skiing there almost every year!
Dang, I was pretty close with Valmont's plan for Dai Gui's kingdom. I had secular and religious swapped, but pretty close to his overall plan.
Well, Valmont is guaranteed to be invited to the wedding now.
Of course she knew. And on a side note, Mr. Valmont, I take it you'll have tofu course.
…Valmont treats his Dark Hand employees as family. So, when are you going to be invited to Sectio 13's Christmas Party?
Why do I get the feeling this is a reference to Kill la Kill.
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Just picturing Mrs. T putting the girls (plus Hsi) through the proverbial hell with affection is wonderful. That and she could have great fun with Viper, Bai, and the rest of the Tohru's fiancées for a story or two.
A possible girls night out arc just got a lot more hilarious.
Parasite Armor is a thing in certain circles *cough*
A thing I've thought about from time to time
So, from a mechanical aspect, I have to wonder-
What the armor feeds on, exactly.
And if Viper will soon become the Enemy of All Women-
Because she starts eating like Lina Inverse-
And never gains a pound?
(Is there a poet in the audience that can tell me if that counts? It just came to me in those lines.)
Or, y'know, he could've joined a Sumo stable. He'd be Yokozuna by now.
Man, Valmont is a class act all the way.
O_o @ the armor and Viper "sharing" Jackie...
I agree with everyone that wants Mrs. Tohru to pop up more often, she already steals whatever part of the show you put her in. You've made her a fan favorite character.
I think it would be better if you stick to canon, it'll make us more excited when she shows up.
You gave the Crusaders, Jade, Bai Tza and Valmont main roles in your story and you're afraid of Mrs. T stealing the show? She's good, but I'd like to see her try.
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To be fair, in canon it's established that he's actually too small to be a professional sumo...as shown when he's put up against an actual sumo wrestler who is about a foot taller and several hundred pounds heavier.
...of course, Tohru then stuns everyone watching by lifting the sumo over his head...only for the ground to collapse underneath him.
I say add in a few extra episodes of your own to expand on Valmont, Tohru and Jackie's new love lifes. You can easily add in mama Tohru then.
.........Okay, THAT settles THAT problem. Heh, almost like Sharaka and Viper have a kind of "Spider-Man Symbiote" team up. Only they both like the same guy and Sharaka is willing to share him in a rather unique way.
And I hope we get to see more of Mama T. She's great!
And Tatsurou, you keep making this version of Valmont better and better than his canon counterpart. If anything, I'd almost think he would be a great help for the Chans and Jackie would see him as a (possible) Frenemy. Valmont is much more of a gentlemen, a professional and someone who I would look up to as one of the FEW "Good Men" in the criminal world. If anything, he does NOT sell himself as more than what he is, and in being honest about his "business" and being professional, as well as understanding, I think he would make a FANTASTIC "lesser evil" and MIGHT be willing to help out the Chans in the future. That is, if their interests are common.
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"Yes, Mrs. Principal Tohru!"
Mrs. T has genre awareness and the patience of a honey badger.
And when did this turn into a sex comedy?
Yeah, I kinda had a feeling a harem wouldn't be Tohru's cup of tea, but there we go with culture swooping in to save the day! Lay down some knowledge, Mrs. T!
Speaking of whom, I'm a bit torn as to whether or not we should see more-than-canon of her. She's definitely a riot, and I would love to see more of her, but I also think 8326636 makes a good point.
...Then again... 8326481's idea could be fun, too...
Chapter One Hundred Thirty-Five
"Bad Day"
Chapter Count: 0
Total Count: 35
"He's Not My Boyfriend!"
Chapter Count: 0
Total Count: 40
...When are the counts going to start up again?
I sometimes wonder if Tatsuro've read Dresden files 'cause his Valmont is uncannily similar to another 'Gentleman' I know of.
Add her in more! You are deverging from canon the way it is so Mama T would now be around more often as she checks in on her baby boy and his new girlfriends. Plus she needs to spar with Billy Goat more.
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Never have.
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Then I propose you might. You will probably like it.
SO MUCH DA...RN YES to this chapter and these guy’s comments
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Also, MORE MRS. T !
Anyone have THIS Valmont’s phone number? He may be a crime boss BUT he’s a boss worth being employed by.
A sexy cat burglar with she demon possessed armor that shifts to look more.......provocative.
Chan you lucky SOB.
There is one issue I have with this story of late. Shendu has been relegated to a non-entity, I mean he is still bound to Valmont's body is he not? If nothing else I would have expected a few snarky or snide comments during such events from the disembodied spirit demon.
I hope he hasn't been forgotten, and even if he still turns out to be a true villain who will return resurrected and prepared to conquer the world, it'd at least be nice to know how he's taking to all these status quo changes and the like.
Valmont's been such a charming antagonist everyone seems to have forgotten about that one niggling issue.
I suppose that's the problem with too many characters, there's not enough time in the day to include them all where appropriate. Unless I forgot something from a much earlier chapter where Shendu has just been resealed somewhere.
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To be fair, no one in story cares about Shendu, either. A big part of Valmont's plan is that the Chans don't realize Shendu's still around, and Shendu's siblings would just as soon talk to Valmont over him. That...doesn't leave him anyone to interact with.
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Employed by? I think he'd be better at running Section 13 than Captain Black! I can already picture Captain Black's conversation with Jackie and Valmont should Valmont ever become the new head of Section 13.
Jackie: "Bad day. *THUD* Bad day *THUD* Bad day *THUD* Bad day *THUD* Bad day *THUD*…"
Valmont: "I take it by the head shaped imprint in the wall—
Jackie: "Bad day. *THUD!*"
Valmont: "—Chan does this often."
Captain Black: "I replaced the wall with memory foam after the first time."
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Aside from Valmont, who will just ignore him anyways. Though I wouldn't be surprised at all if, because of how submissive Shendu has been in Valmont's body, Shendu's soul has started to merge with Valmont's. Like Valmont starts exhibiting mild behaviors/physical changes which are stereotypically associated with dragons. Changes which slowly become more and more pronounced as the merger gets closer to completion—like he has tailor made a certain wizard robe which he wore in the show.
Add into that access to dreams/memories which are not his, and you could have a potential fire demon transformation arc for Valmont.
The title of this chapter is very fitting.
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It still strikes me a little odd that the character isn't saying anything, even if only to himself in some sort of mental dialogue. Shendu as a villain was the consummate schemer, always striving for something to work for his own goals, plus his ego was so big that taking second fiddle to Valmont is something that should be festering, with only one actual Demon left to release I would expect Shendu to begin plotting a means of regaining physical form and achieving his ultimate goal of power.
I mean sure this is a huge AU slide that' s been running here, but if Valmont and the rest of the demons deciding to play nice become non-issues, the biggest threat still known and relatively unknown to his enemies is Shendu, since the later villains have yet to be introduced. Not to mention Dalong Wong has been rather quiet in this story too, what was the point of introducing him earlier if he doesn't actually DO anything relevant to the plot?
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I'm thinking he should become an ice demon, anyone objections?
More Mrs. T can only make this story even BETTER
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That is a valid question about Dalong Wong. I thought Dalong Wong would have been a key asset to Valmont aside from freeing Bai.
Bad Jackie and Good Jackie right after this chapter: "Very good day."
Sounds like the next time he gets summoned, it'll be a court summons!
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My guess? They'd managed to banish a couple of lawyers to the Netherrealm.
...Holy crick, that would make a great side episode.
Yay, I contributed!
Also, I'm fine with whatever you do with Mama Tohru, just so long as it's organic to the story.
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As far as why Daolong Wong hasn't been used as much...it's because Valmont hasn't needed him. Valmont's not the sort to field a resource unless he needs it.
Ok, first of all, Mrs. T is freaking hilarious, and sharp as a damned dagger!! Can honestly say that was a joy to read, but seeing how Valmont helped Tohru and his girls like that? ...I want our villain to get a happy ending. I think world domination is not necessary for that, but at this point I would not be mad if that's how things shook out. Also, Viper and the Armor...If those two do what I think they will...well I think we need a bit more of a spicy chapter separate from the rest for those of us interested, if you're up for writing it. ...just for completion's sake, of course!!
Huh... The more of Valmont I discover, the more I wonder if him being in control of a city, state, or even country would be a bad thing. He cares about those he leads, he goes out of his way to honor agreements, and he has a well defined moral compass in the right areas. Being willing to get his hands dirty when necessary just means be won't be nice about getting vengeance for those who slighted his "Family".
Sounds like the ideal ruler to me.
Honestly, if this story doesn't end with Valmont as a close friend of the Chans, I'll be surprised.
This was a GREAT chapter, and in fact it went even BETTER than I thought! Seriously though, Tohru's mom has some fantastic lines!
Also, I have to agree that Valmont would make for an EXCELLENT politician....better than most of the ones we currently have in office. It's one of those depressing but true things, like the fact that Animals tend to do a lot better than people as mayors.
just a thought, lucoa is in this story so maybe have Shendo a distant (and I mean really distant) cus of tohru the dragon. it would give the demons a lagit reason to go to Tokyo. other than releasing Po Kong
Not to needlessly nitpick, but polyamory (multiple romantic [amorous] relationships) without polygamy (marriage between more than two people) makes no sense as it would mean that any group relationship is BY DEFINITION never allowed to become a married union.
Polygamy has a poor reputation in the real world because most instances of it involve an asshole marrying more than one person at a time in secret, but a society that respects polyamory would naturally support polygamy in its pure form where the union of multiple people is established in a single ceremony upon a foundational relationship wherein all parties involved agree to it based on trust and love.
I see Valmont getting a 'redemption'. The guy's not evil, I'd say he's on the line between lawful and neutral evil, but I can see him becoming an ally instead of an enemy.
KEEP MS'T IN TAT'S!!!! WE NEED HER!!!