• Member Since 30th Jun, 2022
  • offline last seen Jul 27th, 2023

MlpBrony123z


Heyo everypony! I'm a brony, whose favourite character is Discord. I'm Asexual, and love cake and garlic. Also I have an OC named Snowflake Shine. Thanks

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This is a story of my OC named Snowflake Shine. Who has a pencil hidden beneath a snowflake for her cutie mark. Wanna know more? Let's dive in together then...

Chapters (7)
Comments ( 4 )

Is this an anthology?

11317725
Hii, yes, and this story is only published here. I'm working on it still and will be posting chapters time to time. Thanks 😁

I can tell you really put a lot of effort into this, but I really feel like that effort was a bit misplaced. This story is very fast-paced, throwing new characters and new situations at the reader without really taking the time to provide necessary details. This is almost 5k words, and yet I still don't think I have a good understanding of who the main character is or what they're trying to accomplish, despite you being very explicit (I would even say too explicit) about their thoughts. It felt like you spent more time talking about the Mane Six, who aren't even in this story, than you did about your main character. The very short length of your chapters also makes this seem too fast, and the way you organize your paragraphs makes it hard to follow what's going on. Going forward, I would recommend that you slow down, add more detail, and establish a firm foundation of character and plot before doing anything else.

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