The Hat Man Reviews! - "Featured" Stories · 8:35am Oct 28th, 2017
I’ve had the flu all this week, but it means I’ve had time to read a few more stories lately, so today I’ll be looking at three stories that recently made a big splash on the Featured Box: “Numbers,” “Sum of Their Parts,” and “Mrs. Robinson’s Stand.”
Description
When Fluttershy went to bed, she was a normal mare. When she woke up, she could see numbers floating over everypony's heads. They were timers, each one counting down to some unknown event. Most ponies had timers that wouldn't end for years, some for many decades. But everypony had different numbers.
So why does Rainbow Dash's timer end in three hours?
This story was inspired by a Nickelback music video. Now hold on there… Much as Nickelback is an easy target for the internet, the song “Savin’ Me” is decent and the video is pretty darn impressive too.
The description tells you just about everything you need to know about the general premise of the story, and you can probably guess what the timers are counting down to. I don’t consider it a spoiler, since it’s pretty obvious, so I’ll just confirm that the timers indicate how long a pony has left to live.
Aside from Fluttershy dealing with the onslaught of knowledge she really would rather not know (there’s a real gut punch of a scene with the CMCs and Granny Smith, for instance), the story quickly shifts to Flutters seeing Rainbow Dash’s timer and realizing that, if she doesn’t do something, Dashie has three hours left to live.
The story is well-paced, dark without being too edgy, and has just enough existential dread to be effective without dragging the narrative down. It’s tense, engrossing, and works very well as a self-contained one shot.
Recommended?: Yes. This story is pretty fun, and I think just about anyone would like it. It definitely deserved to hit #1 on the Featured List.
Description: With an age-old monster set to return and intent on spreading destruction, the Princesses gather to use a spell left behind by the great Star Swirl the Bearded in order to ensure their victory - but they do not fully grasp the effects of the spell until it is too late.
Now all four have become an entirely new being, with her own thoughts and feelings, and she must face the reality of her situation: in order for the Princesses to return, she will have to die.
Did you ever see that episode of Star Trek: Voyager where Neelix and Tuvok get fused into one being? No?
Well, um… if you had, that’s what this story is.
Okay, okay, that’s not fair: the author wasn’t aware of said episode, so I’ll evaluate this episode on its own merits.
The story begins with Twilight and the other Princesses deciding to fight a new threat by fusing into one. The defeat of this threat happens very quickly and honestly that’s a good thing: it’s just the excuse for the actual plot of the story to happen.
The issue of a gestalt lifeform being forced to decide between continuing her life at the cost of four others or giving it up to bring back the others is an enthralling one. It’s pretty clear that this high concept is what drew in most readers and made it such a surprise hit for flipwix, a first-time author on the site.
But the biggest flaw is that the story doesn’t take time for us to get to know the new amalgamated alicorn, named Princess Nova. Right after she defeats her foe (which, by the way, is a neat callback from G1), she comes back and realizes that she’ll have to die to bring back the other princesses. Spike tries to make her feel a little better, but aside from a small amount of angst about it, we never see her internal struggle or get to know her personality, or see her make a concerted effort to preserve her own life. The story would have been a lot better if she’d initially refused to separate and tried to rule Equestria, only to deal with the fallout of the loss of the other princesses, like how Twilight’s friends would feel, or Shining Armor and Flurry Heart.
The story is written fairly well on a technical level, but there’s just a little too much wasted potential.
Recommended?: I’m afraid not. This is still a cool concept, even if it has been done before, but it just doesn’t pay off. Still, as a sidenote, this is a pretty competent first story for an author on the site. Flipwix has already come out with another story, and I might just give it a look to see where she goes from here.
Hey, a story that takes place during The Movie! (Warning: very mild spoilers.)
Description: Four by hundreds of hooves, they march in dreary lockstep towards their cages, to serve their fate as beasts of burden. From all over the nation they came to this place in the name of friendship, but now their colors are struck and their ears drooped; scorching sulfur invading their nostrils as heavy chains bear them into capitulation.
Tempest Shadow, commander of the armies of the north and mistress of her own name, has subdued the capital of the largest nation in the known world without a single casualty on either side. She has bested three of the four legendary alicorns in combat, and chased away the last. Every obstacle in her way has been found wanting...save for one.
This is a story of the pillar that would not fall.
As you can tell from the cover image, the “pillar” mentioned in the description is Miss Cheerilee. Essentially the story is about Tempest and the Storm King’s army she commands overrunning Canterlot and subjugating the population when she encounters Cheerilee protecting a group of her students who were in Canterlot when the invasion happened.
This story does a good job of fleshing out things from the Movie that weren’t stated, and it even takes time to explain why Grubber, Tempest’s glutinous comic relief lackey, holds any position at all in the Storm King’s army. But the real show is between the two main characters, Tempest and Cheerilee.
Tempest, even moreso than in the movie, is ruthless and cold-hearted. Some of the most jarring imagery in the Movie is the sight of the ponies in cages, chains, and muzzles, as they’re rounded up and imprisoned by the Storm King’s soldiers. Here, Tempest seems disgusted by how easily Canterlot fell, even letting her new prisoners march by the petrified princesses to further break their spirits. She later even taunts Cheerilee by claiming that teachers won’t be needed in Equestria anymore since ponies are going to be used strictly for labor and won’t need to know anything else.
Cheerilee acts as a hard foil and contrast to Tempest, not surrendering or compromising even when facing down seemingly insurmountable odds. As a teacher, I really like Cheerilee going full-on “Mother Bear” mode in this in an effort to protect her students.
This story isn’t gory, but it is visceral, and Cheerilee and Tempest exchange more than just words as part of their conflict. The end result is very satisfying, if a tiny bit predictable, and is so far the best Movie-related fic I’ve encountered.
Recommended?: Yes. It isn’t a very light-hearted read, but it captures the essence of its characters and perfectly portrays a short, intense conflict between them.
That’s all for now, folks! Until next time!
Ah, I'm sorry you've been sick; I hope you feel better soon.
Sorry to hear you got sick, bro. Hope you feel better soon.
These seem pretty interesting, so I'll check them out later.
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Thanks, I got a lot of rest last night, so that might help a lot towards feeling less like crap.
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The image didn’t make me think it was a clopfic, but considering the only thing I know about “Mrs. Robinson” in The Graduate, is that she’s a lonely housewife who seduces Dustin Hoffman’s character, the title kinda threw me off. I honestly think the title is the biggest misfire in the story because it sends the wrong message. Still, the author did explain it in the comments, saying:
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Yeah, like I said to Reese, I got some extra rest last night, so that might help. Thanks for the concern!
And yeah, I’d say the first and third stories are totally worth checking out, and the second, while not that good, is at least an interesting idea.
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Haven't seen the movie yet, so that one'll have to wait for me.
And just take it easy until you get better, alright?
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I will, though I’m actually feeling a little better right now. The extra bedrest and codeine is doing wonders.