Spike and the Cutie Mark Crusaders were lucky that their parents knew they were camping out that Sunday night, and that for some reason, despite how much destruction they had caused in their short lives, were trusted enough to sleep together.
How everyone was wrong with giving them that right.
It was nearly noon by the time Spike had decided that waking up would be a relatively decent activity. Relatively decent being the key phrase. His head felt like a flashbang had just been thrown an inch from his muzzle, and all he could taste was the color of agony.
As stupidly cool as it was to ponder the universe and his incredible ability to be sexy - and make Rarity wet herself at night at the sheer thought of him posing at her door - all he could think about right now was squeezing the supple, soft, warm flesh that was in his claws. While he more than enough remembered the incredible planning he did last night - or so he thought he did - that clarity of complete, undeniable badflankness had retreated into the corners of his mind once more. Only Rainbow Dash was currently allowed to suckle on that nectar. It ticked him off to no end.
At least he had the squishy flesh in his hands.
That powerful and yet sweet coat melting in his grip would take away the misty blindness that clouded his brain. It would make the stomach pain from eating too much junk food go away for just one moment. It would make him not feel like pinning down Rarity, lifting up her twirling and sunset shimmering purple tail, and show her that once you ride a dragon, you'll want no other wagon. That wonderful fur that was pulled apart in his claws was a moderately decent substitute for his one and only love, or the warmness of his sister's kindness, the swag of Rainbow, and dare he admit it, the comfort of a book.
It might also get rid of the part of him he didn't want exposed between his legs, exposed to an underage group of preteens. He'd play with himself later.
At least he had his peace, or as much peace as he could have baring giving Rarity a layer of dragon salt.
The incredibly loud and vile hellfire of flatulence that resulted from his squeezing of Apple Bloom's sides too many times broke that foggy fantasy. It was also a decontamination chamber for all four occupants in the fort.
Spike and the Cutie Mark Crusaders shot up from their slumbers, screaming in confused horror.
Where were they? Who were they? What happened last night? Why did their groins hurt? Why did they feel like puking? Why did they smell like crotch? Where did the night and morning go? Who was Carmen Sandiego?
"I need a bush!" Apple Bloom yelled, unable to detect the irony of the statement.
"I need to puke!" Spike gagged.
"I need to pee!" Sweetie Belle whined.
"I need to wash my mouth off!" Scootaloo heaved.
They screamed together once more, running out of the fort in childish panic to purge their bodies of the ills that plagued them. If only for a few minutes. It was quite hard to push out that much food and illicit chemicals from a body so quickly.
They would give it a damn good try.
"And that's... well... what a penis really is, and what vaginas really are," Spike said. He barked out a sudden laugh. "I can't believe I just talked about this with you three. Well... too late now."
After twenty minutes of composing themselves through bodily purging, and another twenty minutes of Spike giving an excellent example of why he was no longer a baby Spike and the Cutie Mark Crusaders were as normal as they could be wasted off of the THC overload they received last night. They were all contemplating sobbing at the otherworldly experiences going through their heads.
At least three of them were fluffy. Fluffy was nice. It kept the gnomes away. That was important.
Spike sat on his back, chewing on some wild berries as he looked at the three snuggling foals. Or should he even call them foals anymore?
He would. Their maturity level was far from being adult like.
Then again, his sister and her friends could be awfully immature for mares who had just hit their early twenties.
Scootaloo was curled up into a nearly perfect ball of burgundy fur and moderate purple hair, resting her muzzle on her own tail as her friends half laid on top of her. Sweetie Belle rested on her side, hanging her forehooves over Scootaloo's frame while her snout rested on Scootaloo's frank. Apple Bloom had decided to rest her tail on top of Scootaloo’s and curl around her, laying her muzzle on Scootaloo's upper back. They all needed the bodily support of one another in a manner different than what they had done last night.
“So… that’s why ponies can like and play with each other, even if they’re mares or colts?” Sweetie Belle scratched her horn idly, wincing at the sudden stimulation. “Oww… my horn. Somepony tell me to stop poking at it.”
“It wasn’t that I didn’t put two and two together,” Spike continued, “but I thought of it just as a way ponies and animals to have kids. Not… for pleasure.” He let out a shy chuckle, unable to hide the blush that was creeping its way across his cheeks. “As for ponies dating their own gender, I just... I don't know! I guess I never thought of it that way. I just thought of it as love, I guess. It wasn’t until yesterday that I caught Fluttershy and Rarity kissing that-”
He blinked several times at his slip of the tongue. “Uhh... opps.”
"Man, everypony is kissing everypony these days," Scootaloo snorted.
“My sister was kissing Fluttershy?” Sweetie Belle gasped, “that makes so much sense that they are marefriends! They go to the spa together, and gossip, and are with each other all the time. It-”
“They aren’t dating,” Spike said, waving a hand at the statement. “They just… got a bit excited from something. I don’t know... 'what', exactly, but when I came in on them to say the four of us were having a sleepover, there they were. Just... on the floor. Kissing. I had to break them up from a fight they got into afterwards, and they realized it just wasn’t going to work like that.”
Scootaloo shook her head. “Man, do ponies go that nuts just to get laid? I thought what we did last night was extreme. I don’t even want to think about what they’ve done and haven’t told us about. I mean... it was fun and all, but you’d think they would've grown up or something. They're adults, not kids. Sheesh.” She blinked rapidly at the words settling in the air. "I... can't believe I just said that."
“I mean... really?" Apple Bloom said, "we’re just curious ‘n all, and we didn't quite get those books until you explained it, Spike, but gee willikers, if our sisters go crazy like that, who are they to tell us we went too far?” Apple Bloom blew out a small huff of air from the end of her nose. “I’m sure they've done somethin’ weird ‘n crazy too. If not a billion, zillion times! And they call us ‘immature’. Just a bunch of bigots if ya ask me.”
“Let’s not think about what our sisters did last night,” Sweetie Belle moaned tiredly, rubbing her nose into Scootaloo’s leg. “Or what we did. I don’t think I say this much, but I think that was an experiment we aren't trying again. I’m not even sure if I’m seeing colors or smells. It was amazing, but... not worth what my head feels like.”
“If you put your nose a hoof lower, Sweetie Belle, I don’t know what I’m going to do to you,” Scootaloo rumbled, glaring at Sweetie Belle. “All I remember is you put your horn there in the middle of the night when we all woke up, and it feels like gravity is hating me down there right now.”
Apple Bloom’s cheeks quickly turned red. “A-a-about that... Maybe we should keep this a secret. A real secret. A Pinkie Pie Promise Cutie Mark Death Pact secret. Not the knowin’ about sex part, cause that’s a bargainin’ chip we can use, but that… uhh…”
Sweetie Belle crossed a forehoof over her chest. "You don't have to say that twice, Apple Bloom. Death Pact of Baal sealed."
"Sealed," Scootaloo swore, crossing her own chest.
Spike smirked. “Four of them already know."
The Crusaders shot up onto their legs, quivering in fear at the realization they were required to support weight they weren’t keen on supporting.
And their sisters and their friends knowing about their most personal of secrets. That was bad too.
“My sister’s gonna put me in a chain gang!” Apple Bloom cried. “And she’ll make me sing baritone labor songs. I can’t sing baritone.”
“Rarity will make me watch marathons of Flip This House until I’m a real estate agent,” Sweetie Belle whimpered. “Do you have any idea how boring it is to listen about kitchens for hours? And that’s coming from a future cook!”
“And Rainbow will-” Scootaloo paused, her quaking hooves standing firm as she pondered, looking at the ground in reflection. “Will… I have no idea what she’ll do. Most likely she’ll just explain everything again and tell me to be safe, that I’m really young, and that if I have any questions I should come to her. She tends to be pretty chill in extreme moments like that.”
“That doesn’t help us!” Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom said.
“Well it helps me,” Scootaloo countered, sticking out her tongue.
“I mean,” Spike chuckled, “that they thought you would have sex. Rarity and Fluttershy told me to stop you and get the anatomy books, but you already took them. Twilight and Dash gave me what I threw in here to knock you all out. Well… us, since it worked on me too. I think I’ll make a note not to use that again.”
Sweetie Belle stepped forward, staring into Spike's eyes. “Speaking of that: What was that? Now we’re all tipsy, and it made us see things that exist but we didn't know about, like underpants gnomes.”
“What’s underpants?” Scootaloo asked, scratching the back of her head with a wing. “M-m-maybe I don’t wanna know, since that just makes my crotch itch more. Oww.”
Apple Bloom scratched her bow. “And what’s a gnome? Ohh! Remember that thing with the beard tellin’ us to go to Brayzil, and we could get an airship flight for a really good price? Now I remember. That’s a gnome.”
All three of the Crusaders nodded in agreement.
Spike dragged his talons across his skull to numb the throbbing in his head. “It’s something used to knock ponies out if they are being really wild; I just used too much of it, and oh man, I think the only reason I’m not seeing Rarity everywhere is because I’m a dragon, so naturally I’m pretty much immune to everything.”
“Spike,” Sweetie Belle began, resting a forehoof on his chest, “we get it. You have a crush on my sister. Everypony knows that you do. Even we know. We knew years ago.”
Spike's snout turned crimson. “N-n-no I-”
“You wanna tie her up on a fence ‘n play fiddle with her foal maker,” Apple Bloom grinned, taking a step forward toward Spike.
He sat up, clawing at the fort floor in panic. “Where did you-”
“You wanna find creative uses for premium Pegasus ice on her!” Scootaloo cackled, stalking toward Spike.
“I don’t-”
“You want to put her in a corset and have her dance on stage like a can-can girl!” Sweetie Belle tittered.
The Crusaders had surrounded Spike, pincering him in at all sides. He swallowed down the lump in his throat, sweat pouring down his scales as his eyes darted to everything around him, anything to take his attention away from them.
The pressure was too much for him.
“Fine!” Spike spat, staring down Sweetie Belle. “I want to have sex with your sister, Sweetie Belle. You have a problem with that!?”
Sweetie Belle's ears withered under the assault. “I d-don’t want to think about it,” she said.
Spike inhaled and exhaled from the depths of his stomach, smoke swirling in the air above him. “Look,” he said flatly, “you three are nice and all, and are really fun to hang around, but I was sent here to stop you, and because I wanted to get out of the library. I didn’t think I’d be dragged into this, and you all had fun while I just got the food. Not that… the food was bad or anything.”
He closed his eyes. The last thing he needed to do was murder three foals at his recently awoken loins demanding Rarity's mouth on him at all times. “So here’s the deal: Sure, we all learned a lot yesterday, but it’s going to bite our butts in the future. Let’s just chill, and we’ll pretend you all didn’t… do anything illegal. We’ll all be friends, and-”
“S-s-sex can’t be illegal,” Scootaloo said. “Because-”
“Do I look like a lawyer to you?” Spike said. “Rainbow and Twilight said what you three did was illegal, and I’m not going to argue with Twilight about the law.”
Scootaloo scoffed at the ground. “Don’t have to be a friggin prick about it, Spike. Sheesh.”
“I’m the only one here who didn’t get laid,” Spike huffed, “and it’s not like I’d do it with you three.”
“Hey!” the Crusaders said together.
"You're just jealous because I've got a horn and it didn't go inside you!" Sweetie Belle snapped. "Yeah, take that, Spike."
Apple Bloom raised an eyebrow at Sweetie Belle. "Umm... he doesn't have what we got. And you can't cast spells yet anyways."
"But he's got a butthole!" Scootaloo's wings buzzed excitedly. "I've heard Rainbow talk about it when I stalk her. You can totally put things up there. I haven't tried it, cause... uhh... reasons. I'm scared, okay?"
Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom gagged. "Gross."
"Is not gross!" Scootaloo growled quietly.
"Poop comes from there," Apple Bloom said.
"Ever since sexual diseases were cured by Sterile Santorum in 345 A.D, that shouldn't be a problem." Spike smirked, crossing his arms across his chest. "More so with modern pony hygiene."
All three of the Crusaders blinked their eyes in unison, processing the information that was given to them. "What are you, an encyclopedia?"
Spike shrugged his shoulders. "I am Twilight's younger brother, and you three still can't play with each other. It's illegal, remember?"
Scootaloo's wings flickered rapidly in anger as she pressed her nose into Spike’s. “You ate our food and knocked us out without even asking,” she growled. “That has to be illegal. Food stealing, and… and... assault!”
“Yeah!” Sweetie Belle and Apple Bloom said.
“I’m not going to argue with you,” he growled, “because if I do my head is going to hurt even more, and the last thing I want to do is have to explain to Applejack and Rarity why you all are well done ponies because I set you on fire by mistake.”
The Crusaders rubbed their muzzles at the mention of head pain, letting out a collective whimper not meant for mortal ears. It was too cute.
Thankfully, Spike was borderline immortal, so he was borderline immune to the cuteness.
He sighed loudly. "Look, you three are going to go home, we’re not going to bring this up again, and I’ll explain to Applejack that you’re just really tired after all that fun, Apple Bloom.”
Apple Bloom mumbled vulgarities she had heard from Applejack. Applejack would've been proud. Secretly. “Fine. But I have a feelin’ yer're plannin’ somethin’ and I don’t like it. We can blackmail you too, you know.”
“He has to be planning something.” Scootaloo huffed at Spike. “If he was petting me like I’m his cat last night he was totally trying to soften me up."
"And it worked," Apple Bloom giggled.
"Shut up, Apple Bloom," Scootaloo grumbled. She shuffled in place, her friends looking at her as she wiggled nervously. A large blush formed across her muzzle. "Not that I… want you to stop doing that, Spike.”
“You are so weird, Scootaloo,” Sweetie Belle said, shaking her muzzle. “And that’s coming from me.”
Spike smiled quietly as his talons reached out to scratch through Scootaloo's mane and neck, chuckling to himself as she nuzzled into his hand.
"I... I don't even know what's goin' on anymore," Apple Bloom sighed loudly. "We're as messed up as our sisters and their friends."
Spike grinned evilly.
There was an advantage to being two years older than the Crusaders and the younger brother of a genius strategist. Twilight’s lectures on classical military tactics were interesting to him. Oh so interesting. What was wrong with manipulating the Cutie Mark Crusaders for his own gain? He just had to think about how he would abuse it.
She would be secretly proud of him.
“Just a future favor, when I think of it,” he said. “Beside's, Twilight and Rainbow gave me permission to eat your food. You know, revenge stealing, since you stole her books."
Scootaloo clicked her tongue between her teeth. "Wow. Even Twilight's kinda mean."
"We did steal Pinkie's candy," Sweetie Belle said, scoffing at the floor. "And... umm... blackmailed her first."
Apple Bloom bit her bottom lip. "I... forgot about that. And ya can't sell opened candy."
"Fine," Scootaloo sighed, "we're mean too."
Spike wrapped his arms around the Cutie Mark Crusaders, pulling them into a gentle hug. "So how about we try to forget about last night, and try to focus on today? Because the less I think about yesterday, the better. But before we plan our cover up I think I need about fifteen minutes behind a tree a mile from here.”
“What for?” Sweetie Belle asked, tilting her snout to the side. “Scratching post?”
“That’s Cataloo’s job,” Apple Bloom giggled.
Scootaloo hissed at Apple Bloom. “You’re the one who exploded from your butthole, Applebelch.”
“What does that have to do with cats?” Sweetie Belle blinked.
Spike was about to ponder how even the potent cannabis of Fluttershy’s highest grade weed couldn’t keep the Crusaders down for long - and what Rarity humping thoughts would occupy him a mile away from the fort - before he felt the rumbling of an incoming letter in his gut.
He wasn't looking forward to this. It cut into his masturbation time.
He quickly opened the scroll, his eyes scanning over the words, until he felt the very core of his soul holler in despair.
His life, was now ruined.
Ultra ruined.
"Spike?" Apple Bloom asked softly. "Are... are you okay? You're legs are shakin', and you look... pale."
Quickly he reread the message a second time. A third. A fourth.
His lips quivered, then pouted, and then, Spike screamed.
He didn't scream his classical shout of death defying no.
He screamed a four letter word that wasn't the ponyfied, although still moderately firm curse. He screamed it in its all powerful, all unedited glory. At the very top of his lungs.
I... I don't even know what to say to that.
Sweetie... dear... we have this river here, over in Egypt. It's called "denial". Maybe you'd like to come visit..?
Correction: I don't know what to say to that.
Santorum Sterile... you'll need advanced physics just to properly explain just how many, many dimensions that is wrong in...
3085123 Someone got it! Yes!
I'm flipping it around. It's worse with the sterile in the front.
3085222
Yes. Yes it is.
Oh God my sides, I can't breathe...
3085242 I have won! And now I can't stop laughing! This. Is. Why. I. Write!
So I was wrong. The CMC got it on in a drug-induced haze, and Spike just watched.
Nasty.
3085279 He was in his own world reflecting and planning the economical overthrow of Equestria. With Twilight.
Military strategy is fun.
Now I wonder what that letter contained...
We all have our moments where we want to curse at the top of our lungs.
3085222
It's a contradiction in terms, ever since a certain application to a member of elected office..."sterile", and "santorum" that is.
3085343 you'll find out tomorrow I think! Ninety percent sure of that.
3085343 My guess, that Rarity and Rainbow went at it like crazy :P
Whether or not that is the case, Spike's reaction needs to be it's own version of this:
bimmerboost.com/images/imported/2012/01/fuuuuuu-1.jpg
Someone get on that already!
Spike never got laid?!?
Poor baby dragon.
I bet rarity is getting married or something, thats for sure.
FUCK!!!
3085013
Scott Pilgrim reference??!?! /)
(Note: I adore the movie, but have not read the comic books.)
Also I'm still not entirely sure I understand what the CMC got up to, but at the same time I don't want to know, either.
3085807 Part of the wonder and fun my boy! Part of the wonder and fun...
Why do you all read this? Can't you see this is a children's show? Perverts.
3085835
I know, right? It's disgusting.
3085949
Deplorable.
3086223 Thanks a bunch! Sometimes those things just slip you by. Editing now. You would think reading your story ten times over you'd catch those things.
So...
Did they get their cutie marks?
David didn't turn into a tree, that was just a cover. In reality he changed careers. Putting up with all that bullshit in the forest wasn't paying the bills.
I'm guessing the letter said something about Rarity and Rainbow Dash, poor bastard, at least him and Twilight can commiserate about not getting laid. Although, if Spike had banged the CMC then Twilight would have been the only one in their group still a virgin. That would have been a fun conversation.
Ohhhh boy, that was great. Not so awkward as to be unrealistic, but still awkward yet funny enough to be entertaining.
Spike going all Bond Villain on Scootaloo was a great image, it would look awesome. Deviantart people, get on it.
Also, this thing:
Swag level: SPIKE.
On the subject of the cliffhanger, I can only imagine Twilight telling him about Rainbow and Rarity. That would totally suck for Spike, especially if he was on edge anyway. If I was him, I would completely incinerate a medium sized biosphere just to quell the urge to murder someone.
Conclusively: FUCK!
€dit:
Why would Spike be a bastard? He is a male in a decidedly matriarchal society, he is the younger brother/assistant/slave of a the princesses protége and he has a crush on the (arguably) sexiest mare in Ponyville. His life is dominated by females, his position in society is one in limbo. He can't make decisions for himself due to his age, despite being very powerful, he can't set off alone to make it in the world (due to his obliagtions with Twi) and the only mare he ever loved is currently shagging one of his sisters best friends. Everyone who would not be plotting his revenge at this point is not human.
3085600 It isn't fair! His hidden testicles need to be sedated!
Why are you all reading this? How could you take a children's show and let this innocent world be filled with swear words and sex? How could you get enjoyment out of this? Maybe I'm the only one who does it with a plot...
3085780 But... Rainbow and her just...
3085807 One of the funniest movies I've ever seen. Up there with Kung Fu Hustle, Kong Pow, The Room, Life of Brain, and Borat.
3087257 And Fluttershy. Seven got it, three didn't. Poor mares... Well, it was good living, because Twilight and Spike will think of something.
3087512 Yes. It's not odd at all for a thirteen year old dragon and eleven year old fillies to talk about sex. Not weird at all.
As to your Spike theories
.
3087758
I own several T-shirts with chemical/mathematical formulae on them. My mug currently containing my coffee is printed with the structure of caffeeine and the periodic table of the elements. And I love obsessing over the details in worldbuilding in a show about technicolour ponies. Any other assumption would be false.
Ooohh this brings me to a point I wanted to bring up anyway: Twilight is always seen nerding it up, but only through words and books. But I can totally picture her owning a coffee mug with spellweaving symbols on it or something. Though I guess the gala dress with astronomically correct depictions of the night sky still counts.
In case you did not yet figure it out, we are all sick bastards.
Another side note:
Stupidly funny movie!
3088008 I have over thirty thousand words in notes from the abandoned Diesel Punk/AU story I was going to write. It is why fantasy/science fiction is hands down my very genre to read, since you are seeing and reading a new world forming in your eyes, and seeing the expanded world of Equestria open up is wonderful. Upheaval: Breaking Point is hands down my favorite EU of Equestria. How he adds the mythos of alicorns, and the world around it, is incredible. Where Loyalties Lie is a close second. I hope part two of my story does it from a comedic affect.
Twilight was my favorite pony from day one, until about mid way through season two and after a lot of fan fiction, Rainbow Dash pulled ahead. This story was supposed to be only a Twi/Dash romance, but as you can see...
Maybe it's because she has that aspergers thing going for her. I don't know. She's just a well rounded character, and in fan fiction you can take her in so many directions. I take her in the modern nerd context. Modern nerds swear. It's called we're programmers, gamers, writers, geeks. Anyone who says geeks are innocent virgins across the board doesn't know us. I adore my pale ales and ciders thank you very much, and my gym pass!
Not that I'm in shape at all.We are sick bastards. I love the show. It has ups
Too many Pinkie's is a masterpiece of writing, moral and timing and so is part one of the Canterlot Weddingand downsFeeling Pinkie Keen has literally made me throw my headset in a Skype streamand I like reading everything and anything. Maybe I just like seeing our mares be brought into our world, and corrupted by it's complete lack of values. Is it our fault sex is fun? I just run with what we got on the characters and evolve it. I make Rainbow Dash the sarcastic, Offspring listening, snide jackass with a heart of gold that she is. Will you take, what's in my head, and erase me when I'm dead? Cause the future, is now, now I'm disappearing~Kung Fu Hustle is a great film. Period. From an art standpoint, humor standpoint, parody standpoint, and jesus, a fighting standpoint. I'd put it right up there with Jet Li's Fearless in raw martial art excellence. Kung Pow enter the fist is great. So is Drunken Master.
3088037
Yeah, Kung Fu Hustle really did a number on the fighting, as a Jackie Chan fan (at least the old ones) I was impressed by the well-choreographed comedic timing and raw power behind the action. Some very over the top stuff, but awesome nonetheless.
Upheaval: Breaking Point is my assigned bedtime reading right now, since you recommended it so much. I am currently at chapter 8, and it is beyond epic. So much is happening, it's insane. That thing is a bloody novel, not a fanfiction. What it (in format and scale) reminds me of most is perhaps the original Fallout: Equestria. A huge expansion on the world we know, with fitting, though darker elements.
I think RD works so well in written fiction because she has A LOT going on behind her facade. In the show it is hinted at that she is deeper than she lets on, but never specified really in which way beyond her anxiety and love for her friends, so there is a lot of room for exploration. Being the adventerous type, she also fits as an "open minded" character in a sexual context, giving opportunites to bring up funny anecdotes etc.
Also I am glad to see the conclusion of "Feeling Pinkie Keen" bugged you too. I really did not like Twi givin up like that. If anything, a true geek would have gone even deeper into the mystery. Though I believe they mainly did this because they had not yet had an overarching story with reoccuring elements going to experiment with like the alicorn amulet, so they might have been a bit gunshy about establishing some canon that might be too complex or not worth the time exploring fully.
To summarize:
mlpchan.net/pic/src/1344211384052.png
3088087 Oh the world grows so much bigger toward the middle and end of it, and I've heard the sequel does even more. I can't wait to read it when it comes out. If I ever even attempt to do real dramatic writing here, I don't think it could come close to that. I think I might just stick to comedy/romance/drama, since it seems to be the area of expertise that I've nudged myself into. Or where I can make people laugh. Or where I'm not horrible at. I could do clop, but I'd get bored.
Exactly. Twilight has the most to mold with, and Rainbow has the most personality flaws that need to be redeemed/explored, which is why she's my favorite character in fiction. Where Loyalties Lie, Bluebird Song, and Games We Play are the three big novels that explore her in depth, and all in different ways. My favorite cyanasus.
I don't know of many stories - that I've read - that play her as completely bi sexual. If I ever write a non-E.E.E story, I'm keeping that a constant trait, even in a drama. It fits her far more than being a straight lesbian.
Well it's also an unneeded episode that's pretty much rationalism versus faith, and that's a wonderful way to tick off folks. True story.
Once again you manage to perfectly capture Spike and the CMC's adolescent behaviors beautifully. Chapters like these just flesh out your headcanon even further for us readers, and it gives us wonderful look at how drugs and sex affect the younger members of Equestria. That and this chapter was just so funny! It was truly an enjoyable read. Keep up the good work!
3088160 th09.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/f/2012/326/2/e/rainbow_dash___by_drunkhedgehog-d5ltc95.png Is how comments like this make me feel. You are the reason I write!
3088166
Awww why thank you! I mean no offense to any other fimfiction writers out there, but it is so difficult to find a story that is so well written and depicts the characters so beautifully. That, and this story is funny as hell; which doesn't hurt.
3088179 You mean depicts them at 11 P.M on Adult Swim accurately.
As for well written? Oh humbug. I'm only starting to find a groove compared to my former work and what the early chapters were, and I'm considering doing some minor re writes when I publish the sequel and want people to read this misadventure too. I'm learning as I go, and I'm sure there are plenty of little mistakes I do that are driving some people nuts. I have my writing ticks that need to be drilled out of me.
3088187
Hahahaha, yes but people just seem to ignore anything to do with drugs/alcohol/sex as far as Equestria is concerned........Unless it's a clopfic.........So the point I was trying to make is that it's nice to read a story that is open and honest about the more well, baser, needs of twenty something ponies.
As for your writing style, I admit I've spotted a few errors here and there. Also, you honestly could spend a bit more time actually describing your characters whereabouts. A lot of times it feels like, at least for me, that there are just long stretches where people are talking and they're apparently floating there in space because you haven't really told us where they are or what the location looks like. All of this is of course my own personal opinion, and so you can disregard it if it's something you don't consider important when you're writing your story.
3088100
Well, now you got me exicted. Let us cover the wait for the new chapter with more U: BP!
3088187
As far as ticks go, the only thing that bothers me slightly is your their'.
This thing:
'
It needs to go. The rest are entirely forgivable typos or the odd missing word. Which really is okay considering you have one like every 1500 words max.
3088237 Maybe I'm just anal retentive about it, or use it improperly, or just use it like a British person, or all three. I don't know. I really might be trying to hard with that, but with everything else I write, I am proud of it. Hell, a lot of authors are afraid to use the semicolon, which I'm not. It has very important uses when used correctly. Colon too.
3088219 Because in a comedy, I'm afraid of loading it down with descriptions like that can take you out of the writing, but maybe that's something I'll work on. I just like quick punch lines, but someone else pointed that out too. I don't want floating head syndrome. I'll really work on that, and maybe go back and edit some chapters.
Another one should be up tonight, and another tomorrow. I want to crank them out with my free time. I enjoy doing this, making you all laugh despite my errors, and getting the satisfaction from seeing myself improve is wonderful.
I'll work on floating heads. Maybe when this story is done, I'll take a week long break, catch up on my politics - I am a junky - watch some DS9, and spend ten or so hours shuffling through E.E.E. I really want to work on the sequel too.
Cataloo lawl. Another hilarious chapter. This might be the funniest yet :D Someone get me a needle and thread...
I'm glad we've gone back to Spike and the CMC, it's been to long without Spike's swag.
3088240
Like I said, it was just something I've noticed and I completely understand not wanting to bog your story down with too much detail. On the other hand, not having enough detail can be as unsettling as having too much. Again though, this is just my opinion and if you don't think it's important, I understand. I would definitely love to reread this story when you rework it though; just to see what all you've done with it.
3088301 It would not be a massive overhaul. That would take me dozens of hours, and to be honest, if so many of you are with me still - and I don't think I've lost many followers in bookmark counts and in views - than clearly you all stayed as my writing style has shifted. As you've noticed, I've dropped the internal thoughts of the six. Too much is going on, and I do fine without it. The next story will start with it again and then drop it off later I think. Maybe. I might drop it. It adds things.
3088313
I had noticed, if only a little bit, I would recommend that you not cut it out entirely. If only because it gives us readers an interesting perspective on the Mane Six and their particular thoughts and reactions to certain things. I do understand how something like that could clutter up the story unnecessarily in certain parts so it's definitely something you should use with discretion.
3089348 or... is it? blog.applause.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/02/One-Billion-App-Downloads.jpg
Spike found out about Raridash didn't he?
Boy is he going to have a lot of explaining to do when the CMC start using that four letter word.
wat.
What, all sexual diseases? Even cooties?
3179270 Have you ready any of the redone chapters?
Then again, toward the end, they really start to become what I wanted them to be.
I'm glad you are still reading this story! Whew. My edits are nearing the end.
In guessing some if that weed went to Celestia when Spike breathed on it. :p Thats my bet.
archer with ponies?
yea...
its good
but
not that good
its more like if
fugget about it
and 2 and a half men had a kid
I will openly admit that I enjoyed this story far more than I thought I did. I could and I will be definitely reading this again. So worth adding to my favourites, thanks KiltedKey for the awesome story
-Frost
3875541 It's not done! Well... it was done, but the final three chapters are under revision.
You see, I rushed this story far too much for my own good when it first came out, and what you are reading are the third and final edition of the story. The ending has changed quite a bit from the first two versions, so I pulled them to do some massive rewrites, and am adding another bonus chapter.
Yes! Got it to 6,000 views!
3909460 Oh it will get a lot more once you all read the new bonus chapter, and maybe chapters. Wait... It already is two bonus chapters!