"It appeareth to us that thou hath been through a great deal of duress, and yet thou hath performed admirably, Rainbow Dash."
The mare's ruby eyes twitched in the moonlight. She tilted her head up and spoke towards the stars. "Huh? How... how can you say that?"
"How can we not? Thou hast endured so many disastrous trials, and yet thou hath emerged triumphantly, and with beloved companions who are willing to call thee a trusted and valued friend."
"But... like... at what cost, your highness?" Rainbow Dash gulped as the pendant around her neck flickered. "I used to be an element of harmony. You remember harmony, don't you, Luna?"
"Verily, we do."
"So how can you possibly be proud of me? I've... y'know..." Rainbow's ears drooped as she allowed her snout to fall towards the twigs and leaves of the tree beneath her. "I've broken a few huge 'no-no' rules since I first set out from Equestria."
"Wouldst thou care to elaborate on them? Or would it be far too taxing of thy spirit?
Rainbow Dash clenched her teeth. After half a minute, she exhaled with a flick of her tail and murmured, "When I first started flying east, I wasn't exactly... the most cheerful of ponies. And, yet I was. It's weird."
"We art listening..."
Rainbow Dash rolled over like a pegasus on a velvety couch and sighed towards the heavens. "Everything went by so fast. I must have scaled two or three continents in less than two months. I just wanted... y'know... to fly fly fly fly fly..." She gulped. "I wanted to dazzle ponies... to make a bunch of them drool at my awesomeness, but I never wanted to make friends."
"Indeed. We acknowledge that such was the nature of thy countenance at the time."
Rainbow's face was pale as she murmured, "You think I was a little bit suicidal, Your Highness?"
Luna was silent for a while, but eventually her voice emanated from the pendant along silver streams. "'Self-destructive' wouldst be a better term to describe thee at the time, Rainbow Dash, for we do not think that it was necessarily the daring pegasus on the outside that thou had desired to destroy..."
Rainbow droned, "I was a monster, Luna. I was half chaos and all miserable." She rolled to her side, nuzzling the branch like it was a pillow as she gazed lonesomely into the hazy miles of moonlit forests. "I expected to be dead in a month. And yet, I didn't pass away. Heck, I'm still alive, and I'm not even sure I know how that works. I mean, it's been—what—eight months already?"
"Eleven, our little pony."
She winced at that. "Yikes." He gulped. "Chaos metal coffins do wonders, huh?"
"Thou hadst possessed more than the components of chaos to extend thy livelihood, Rainbow Dash...."
"Like what, huh?" Rainbow chuckled bitterly. "What's really, truly so awesome about me that has kept me alive while all of my best friends have bit the dust?" She tilted her head north, gazing at the distant speck of lavender drifting slowly towards the east. "A year ago, nothing seemed to matter to me. I wanted to reach the Midnight Armory, sure..." She gulped. "But did I really ever expect myself to?"
Luna was silent.
Rainbow Dash continued, "It wasn't a very nifty thing, Luna. The way I felt about myself, I mean." She gulped. "There's a part of me that had always hoped that someday I'd meet my friends again... that... that Twilight and... th-the others would just be someplace safe... someplace happy... waiting for me..." She bit her lip. "But, like, at the time... I couldn't believe in that. Even if such a fantasy was possible, I knew I would never meet up with them, in spite of whatever killed me. If there was someplace happy and peaceful, it would be in a place where I wouldn't deserve to go." She closed her eyes and sighed. "Because I was the one who sent them there..."
"We doth believe that thou hath yet again forgotten the finer details of what truly extinguished their flames—"
"It doesn't matter, Princess..." Rainbow Dash reopened her eyes. They were like bloodsoaked daggers in the moonlight "And it definitely didn't matter at the time. So, y'know, nothing was sacred, and it didn't bug me in the least that I tore chaos monsters around Windthrow a new one." She shrugged. "Or that—y'know—I probably sent one or two of those jerkfaced minotaurs to the grave when I freed all of those ponies from their digging site." She ran a hoof through her mane and shuddered. "And then there were the dragons that I beat up... the children of Axan... right in front of her. I know many of them didn't live through the crap I put them through."
A cold breeze billowed through the trees, rattling the leaves all around Rainbow Dash.
She shuddered a she continued, "And then I woke up in Ledomare... and there were all these really, really evil ponies doing truly evil things. They were killing equines left and right. They were friggin' massacring innocent mares and stallions." Her nostrils flared. "Well, they had imprisoned me as a monster from the west, and so that's exactly what I gave them. I dunno how long I let that justify the things I did, but..." She winced heavily as she squeaked forth, "I-I stopped keeping count."
"Of what, Rainbow Dash?"
Rainbow ran a hoof over her eyes before they could water. "Of how many of them I friggin' smoked, Luna. Of how m-many of them are dead because of me." Her teeth gnashed upon the next breath. "And then over Foxtaur... and in Searo's Hold... and in Blue Nova..."
"In all of the details that thou hath related to us, we hath yet to identify a singular moment of unjustifiable force."
"That may be easier to say on your end, Princess. But—face it. Nothing I've done in the past ten, eleven, whatever lunar cycles has been very harmonious." She frowned. "Many of these soldiers... these guards and fighters and the like—they had families, Luna. They had families, and I snuffed their lives out and tore them from their loved ones. And for what? Nopony is perfect, but we at least have the ability to be more awesome than we've been told to be... or allowed to be. What ever stopped me from trying to talk some sense into them? From trying to find... I dunno... a middle ground or something? Something way the heck more peaceful than bucking their faces into next century?"
"These Ledomaritan and Searonese cretins wanted nothing more than to bring an undesirous end to thy companions, yes?"
"But don't you get it?!" Rainbow Dash stood up, sneering. "The only reason I feel horrible about all of this is that I actually have friends again! I've got a reason to practice harmony, but none of the... y'know..."
"Confidence?
Rainbow slowly shook her head. "I was gonna say 'virtue,'" she muttered in a distant voice, gazing once more towards the north horizon as a slight chill ran through her body. "Don't get me wrong, Luna. Everything is pretty darn straight and cool right now, but... even with all the friends that I've gotten..." She gulped. "The monster is still there, y'know? She still remains, hidden beneath it all with dizzy spells and shivers. I don't know if she can stick around at the same time as virtue. One has gotta beat out the other, and with my life being squeezed out of me one month at a time, I'm a bit scared of who's gonna become the champion before all is said and done. For all I know... I... I-I might lose my friends all over again. And I'll once more be the pony responsible for it..."
"It is not easy living with the cost of peace, Rainbow Dash," Luna's voice said. "Much like thee, we too hath ceased keeping score."
Rainbow Dash tilted her muzzle towards the heavens. "Your Highness...?"
Luna's voice came through solidly, though with a shaky twinge of remorse. "For millennia hath we and our sister struggled to maintain equilibrium in Equestria, the center of the known world, for it is here in the heart of all that exists that it is most important to combat chaos. Simply choosing this one necessary spot to control the heavens and the elements has always been a decision that hath cost the well-being of civilization along the outer fringes, much less whatever life may continue to thrive on the dark side..."
Rainbow Dash slowly nodded as she listened.
Luna continued. "But it is folly to establish a fantastical distance between oneself and the immediate repercussions of one's actions, be they royal or not. Since the dawn of our prestigious rule, our sister and I have fought several nefarious forces. Nefarious—in that they hath desired to wield power over those who didst not possess the ability to defend their likelihood. With the likes of Discord, we resorted towards imprisonment. When... we were corrupted by the taint of Nightmare Moon, banishment was the chosen option to salvage harmony from the unfortunate situation. However, such alternate forms of punishment weren't always accessible. There was once a detestable despot by the name of King Sombra. He sought to enslave an entire kingdom of ponies, stripping them of both love and harmony. When we defeated him, his body was utterly destroyed, and his spirit was lost to a chaotic pocket of the world. We only wish that he was the only example of a battle that ended in the absolute destruction of a potentially redeemable soul..."
Rainbow Dash fidgeted before murmuring, "How m-many ponies, Luna, did you have to take down in the past?"
"It is difficult to say..."
Rainbow Dash winced. "I was afraid of that. I'm sorry..."
"No need to apologize. We simply mean to say that there is no quantifiable number to estimate it."
The pegasus paled upon hearing that.
Thankfully, it wasn't long before Luna continued. "Very rarely do individual equines become grandiose villains, Rainbow Dash. Their evil is almost always measured in the minions that they produce out of innocent, needy souls. When we clashed with the nemeses of harmony in the past, it was seldom with the despots of such movements alone; they brought their armies with them. As much as we hadst desired to save their misguided souls, and in spite of the majority of spirits we indeed didst bring back to the light, there were inevitably great casualties... too great to document to the full extent of the honor that is due them, though we have endeavored to do so throughout the years, with very little success. There simply isn't enough stone throughout the whole of Equestria to engrave, Rainbow Dash."
Rainbow shuddered, sitting down on her haunches with a foalish look of regret across her face. "I'm... uh... I-I'm sorry I asked."
"Fret not. We art not sorry to have answered thee. There was a time when we rationalized that being in a place of royal leadership meant bearing the burden of unthinkable acts. In time, however, that changed, for we hath come to realize that it is simply our place to think about them, and to think about them all the time. As we process morality and ethics, we taketh the opportunity to bequeath mortal ponydom with what we hath learned. Not to enlighten them, though..."
"Then to do what?"
"To see if they hath an answer to assist us as well. Immortal or not, we art all the same companions to this universe, and subject to as many of the same laws and bouts of confusion."
Rainbow's lips went tight. "I guess I should have known better than to expect you to have all the answers, Your Highness..."
"Perhaps it is not so much an answer that thou seeketh, but rather a means to reach your own understanding? Hence, a manner in which we can relate, child?"
"Oh yeah? Like how?"
"We too hath wrestled with self-doubt, with the fear that something deep and dark and monstrous exists within us, for—quite simply—it very much does."
Rainbow winced. "Nightmare Moon..."
The pegasus could almost feel the nodding expression through the pendant. "Verily..." Luna murmured. "Not a day goes by when we haven't feared that she might return. As you can imagine, this would not be an opportune moment for such a horrible taint to infect us again, especially wince we are currently tasked with both the sun as well as the moon."
"Yeesh. I never once thought of that..." Rainbow clenched her eyes shut and groaned. "Chalk another one up to yours truly..."
"It is not our goal to bring thee further guilt—simply to state that we understand fully how difficult it is to wrestle with one's duties to ethics while at the same time possessing a spirit that is completely devoid of it, constantly desiring to gain dominance. However, it is our firm belief that such a struggle is what giveth us strength."
"Heh... It's not exactly an enjoyable fight, is it?"
"Nay, but it alloweth us to discern equilibrium from chaos, while at the same time not denying ourselves the acknowledgment of the ill-spirited elements that lie on the fringes of our domain. Thou hath said that thou lost count of the casualties thou hast inflicted since thy journey began, yes?"
"Uhhhh... yeah..."
"Our tally is at twelve."
Rainbow Dash made a retching expression. "Twelve? But how could that—" She immediately winced. "Oh, jeez... I-I'm sorry, Your Highness. That was a totally uncool reaction on my part..."
"Fret not, Rainbow Dash. We completely understandeth thy reaction. Thou art right to question it, for it doth not reflect the actual number of souls whom our measures to maintain peace hath inevitably brought to an ill-fated end. Such a number would exceed the tens of thousands. It is... not something we discuss much in the presence of our subjects, as thou couldst imagine."
Rainbow simply nodded.
"But one day, millennia ago, it occurred to us that to focus all of our emotions on the sheer weight of the number would be self-detrimental. After all, it is not the number that matters, but the souls attached to it. To that extent, we picked an arbitrary number, and used that to counterbalance the negative emotions that constantly affected our ability to maintain concentration on our royal duties."
"Okay. So... uh... why 'twelve?'"
"One for every month of the year."
Rainbow blinked. "Oh..."
"And so it is, upon every new moon, when the night's sky is the darkest—we taketh the time to visit a memorial erected in the lunar wing of the castle, and we spendeth the entire day in thoughtful meditation... and mourning. We do not deny ourselves the painful emotions of regret, Rainbow Dash. We simply corral them, harness them, then exorcise them all in one swift act of careful contemplation. In such a manner do we embrace the darkness, without giving into it. For as guilty as we may be, there is still much work to be done, and we cannot allow ourselves to be defeated by regret. The need for equilibrium in this world outweighs the cost."
"And... uh... you really believe that?" Rainbow Dash asked.
"We hath no choice."
"I just... I just can't believe that it could ever be that simple..."
"We never meant to imply that it was. However, do ask thyself this, Rainbow Dash. If thou didn't believe the same—in even the most dire moments of thy battles with the cretins of that landscape—would thy friends still be alive today, and in such a device of conveyance that is currently carrying them out of such dangerous territories?"
Rainbow Dash shuddered, her eyes slightly moist. "I only wish..."
"Wish what?"
"Th-that I did in fact save all of them..."
There was a pause, but then Luna finally spoke. "Wouldst thou desire to know a secret, Rainbow Dash?"
"A secret from a princess?"
"Indeed."
"Uhhh... sure. Shoot."
"It is very rarely possible to save everything... and everypony." A grave pause. "Equilibrium, after all, worketh both ways..."
Rainbow Dash couldn't help but snort. "You call that a secret?" She smiled bitterly. "I have no doubt that I'm gonna lose something for saving so many awesome ponies."
"Oh...?"
Rainbow nodded towards the heavens. "Myself," she droned.
Sad chapter.
I really do love the conversations with Luna, they really open up and unpack all of the pent up emotion and conflict that gets balled up and brushed aside during the action. There's a lot to sift through from a story perspective, too. The number 12 stands out, obviously. Bigger than that, though, is the ongoing idea of harmony as an equilibrium, not just a force of good. Dash has been a living example of it. Further analysis will have to wait until the conversation ends, but I think this will be a rather stark moment of change for Rainbow Dash. Now that these feelings have been externalized, they will no doubt be more prominent in her actions, and more prevalent as it relates to the overall tone of the story.
Come for the beautiful scenery and landscape descriptions, stay for the gripping plot and hearth wrenching self analysis.
Also, I don't know if this has already been mentioned, but maybe RD is not with everyone aboard Nancy Jane because she can't be near the flame-infused book for too long and just goes scouting around them?
Dashie is getting down. The weight of all she has done over the past months is falling. How much can one rationalize death and violence? At what point does it become meaningless or arbitrary? Does it ever?
No pushups this round, ):(. We have enough to think about.
Now that Rainbow has friends and connections to life again, it would seem that she is beginning to feel the consequences of her actions and the lives which she has taken and those she has irreparably altered. Overall, some much needed reflection now that there is a break in the action and some time to just sit and think. It will be interesting to see how she copes with her actions now that she has begun to face them and if any of her friends will pick up on the thoughts/feelings contained in those last couple of lines.
The cracks are showing.
I fear for Dashie if she loses any more relationships.
It was awesome chapter however... I'm wondering...
How IC will manage to think up all the titles of Chapters? Maybe it will not be a problem in "Ordsjot", but later? Can you imagine 200 titles, 8 words each? Or even more?
I missed Luna. Glad to see it's a full moon.
Poor troubled Dashie...
And this is the point where I expect one of the gang to pop up out of nowhere to talk to her right after she finishes talking to Luna.
3140319
I think that's a good guess. I've been wondering where the others might be. But hey, it's still really early in the story.
Rainbow Dash is the sadness.
I would say some things about pent-up emotion, or the number twelve, but as usual, Pilate has beaten me to it.
But damn, I bloody well hope Rainbow Dash can retain faith in herself, because she is pretty much the only one who does not believe in her.
It's good to see the action of the story also having a emotional connection.
And so, I think, the theme of this particular installment bares itself. Redemption; carrying the weight of difficult decisions and bloodied hooves and persisting through the pain and guilt toward some kind of healing, or perhaps a re-appropriation of that pain into something more positive, a repentive fulcrum if you will. Though perhaps I'm getting ahead of myself. It's still early in Odrsjot, and this conversation could merely be emotional resolution for the chaos of Innavedr. But I'm sensing something a little more lingering here.
I also notice a parallel here, between Luna's mention of armies of innocents killed under the directive of tyrants, and the pursuant Shell and his crew of faithful and well-meaning soldiers. Dash may be in for more hard choices later on.
At least Dash doesn't have to bear the weight alone. Though she may wish to...
A moving chapter. Shared pathos between a reigning matriarch who has controlled armies of thousands, and a lone eastbound warrior who bears the weight of harmony upon her troubled withers.
I can see RD jumping in front of a bullet. Bullets better not be flung in their direction, or she's going to lose her mind.
3140455
Oh dear, the possibility of 12 word chapters....
...I understand the A-E-I-O-U thing... but where are these names coming from?
3140455
Should be having twelve-word titles by the end, if we believe in IC's profile.
...
Wait a second, twelve?
These Lunatalks never disappoint. Definitely worth the wait on this one.
Luna is best motivational speaker.
3140709
Probably a coincidence but
Looks like RD's getting her last push to get over herself. And might I add, she's quite a large thing to get over.
3140682 If my memory doesn't fail me, it comes from several nordic words. Austraeoh, Eljunbyro, Innavedr and Odrsjot each have a meaning that comes from two or three terms, I don't remmeber right now what they are, but it was discussed at some point of Innavedr by the commenters.
D: I'm still on Austraeoh...
3141635 So, the first pegasi of the ring world were Nordic?
3142158 If those pegasi belong to any contemporary culture in the Austraeoh universe, they'd most likely be Xonans, or belong to Xonan's mother culture, seeing how Kera managed to read the Innavedr symbol.
Loving every chapter of this.
Luna foreshadowing that Rainbow Dash is going to sacrifice herself to save the world on top of the machine in the end?
Blood only washes off with more blood, sorry Dash.
Duhr-I can't...letterz no moar...this series is long as hell. Like DAMN Mr. UpsetRectum, ~750k word series and not only do you manage to maintain creative vitality, but you manage to shit it out all sparkly-like, just in time for me to regret not having read most of it.
"Shel'll be commin round the mountin when he comes
he'll be commin round the mountin when he comes
His guns will be a blazin
his mind will be a crazin
he'll be commin round the mountin when he comes"
Sorry, I'll shut up now.
Guilt - the most fascinating of all human emotions. Conviction to have done the right thing - the only way to make it even more interesting. This is exactly why Austraeoh is not just some shallow adventure story. This is the greatest chapter in the history of this story and then some.
I cannot express how much I love this sentence, simply by virtue of the fact that she just made clear that she isn't talking about Discord...
Marry me. Marry me right now.
3142172 Their culture has been described as extremely technically advanced, to the point where I believe any historical comparison must be relinquished in favour of a science-fiction pattern. They do not necessarily share any cultural bonds with the Xonans - merely their language has to some extent bled into the modern times. Kera could read the glyph Innavedr but not understand it, yet at the same time the bits of Xonan that we have heard thus far all share remarkable similarities to Old Norse just as much. Because of that, my theory is that the Xonans have adepted the proto-pegasus script, but have only been heavily influenced by their language without fully overtaking it - then again, there are three different Xonan dialects, so one of them might be ancient pegasus after all.
3142113
hop to it then. you got a long way to go
The self-recrimination and doubt expressed in this chapter really show the importance of Dash's new party. If she was alone, she'd never have made it this far, but she's had the support of a group of friends willing to stick with her through some of the most dangerous situations they'll ever encounter. I hope she appreciates how much they've given her and continues on through the quieter moments of doubt and guilt with the same resolve she has when life and limb are threatened.
I do so love these chapters with luna and rainbow dash talking.
Poor dashie she has da feels
Onward and Eastward!
Don't worry, Dash. Redshirts don't count.
Wow just wow. This chapter was awesome and unexpected. I didn't think we'd have this much Luna-Dash dialogue so soon and such deep dialogue to boot. This gives a better picture of just how Dash is struggling with who she now is and what her past actions have wrought. It actually worked perfectly that she would discuss these things with Luna. Who better to discuss faults of the past with than one who has "been there, done that" so to speak and can now give some of her wisdom to Dash to help her better cope with what she's feeling right now. Also that ending line makes me nervous. Am I the only one who is still hoping that things will still be alright at the end? Like she finds the midnight armory and somehow brings her friends back to life. Perhaps that's just wishful thinking on my part now but we'll see.
A Message from MASH-
SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE.
IIIIIt's Dashie's evaluation time!
I thouroughly enjoyed this Luna conversation. It gives us a lot of insight into the Austraeoh Luna's personality. Also, will the number twelve come back later? How many planets were there in the ring - twelve or fourteen? I can't remember...These are my thoughts so far.
-MASH
I really like this chapter. It allows Dash to almost catch up with herself, to properly meditate on what's happened in such a whirlwind rush since she's woken up from her chaos coffin, or even before. Luna's advice was a nice touch as well; I really enjoy her and Dash's little interactions, few and far between as they may be. That probably contributes part of their weight, actually.
Anywho, I'm really liking this foray into the self that Odrsjot has begun with, and I can't wait to get caught up on the rest of the chapters.
Okay, apparently I'm the only one a little confused. Is Luna saying that since Rainbow's journey began, Luna has killed 12 ponies, but actually more, but 12 because that's the number of times she's mourned? Or is 12 the number of people RD has killed and Luna can somehow keep track of that?
I like seeing Luna's full moon
3140322 I love that you're still on board with these.
-Spirit
This is the chapter I wanted. After all the violence and murder last book, this is what I wanted. Thank you so much.
Just gonna go ahead and call it now: Applejack and the others will be restored before the credits roll on this series. All these "flames" Rainbow Dash is gathering? The fact that she is the "Spark?" The fact that Luna just so happened to use the word "flames" here? The fact that they have their ashes sealed away in their graves? The fact that they "imploded" into their Elements?
Yeah. I'm at least 99.9% sure that sometime in the last four to two hundred chapters at least, we'll see the restoration of the Mane Six. If they aren't back by the end... verily, We shall be off of the pissed.
4478593 Ireally hope that too, but remember, IC is SS&E, who wrote background pony, and we all know the feels-fest that turned out to be. I can't help but have a sinking feeling that Dash is more likely to meet them in the nest world than this one.
3140303
It should be noted that "good" very rarely looks good. In fact, in our world, the only thing we can truly count on is that bad always looks the same. But good comes in many different colours, shapes, sizes, and backgrounds.
It's an interesting thing, if you think about it.
Luna, you truly do put things into perspective.
3286773 She's saying she only keeps track of twelve ponies that she's killed. She's killed more, and she mourns for them once ever year.