"Childish lout!" Razor spat in American English, she was getting better, "Princess kind is! Intended not rude being! Intended yes . . hurt Princess you!"
I felt like a heel and Twilight not only looked pissed but embarrassed as well, "I . . . emotion feel . . . regret . . . action repeat . . . never . . . interperate Princess . . . incorrect . . . Forgive?" my Velensovth was worse than normal, give me a break, I was nervous.
Razor's face softened slightly. She knew by that point that I never apologized unless I was sincerely regretful. I couldn't help it, I was sincere by nature. Razor Wit began whispering into Twilight's ear too softly for me to follow. I didn't care to keep staring either, 'Hell for all I know it might make the problem worse.' I turned and decided to peruse the selection of books the library had to offer.
A loud belch echoed around the library, it was accompanied by a green flash of light from an open sided loft up above the main floor. Princess Twilight, seemingly having forgotten about being pissed at me, disappeared in a flash of lavender light. I heard a whip-crack-like sound and spotted an identical flash of light up in the loft, 'She teleported. And I just gave her a magic version of a slap in the face . . . way to go genius. You pissed off a Kavim who is powerful enough to bend space at will and could probably curb-stomp you into a fine mush.' I was not particularly pleased with myself.
Princess Twilight reared up on her hind legs and braced herself on the loft rail then called down to Razor Wit and I, "Clear the floor."
I backed up against the wall behind me reflexively and I could see Razor do the same on the opposite side of the floor.
*SNAP*
A brilliant flash of golden light illuminated the entire library. I held up my arms for protection and crouched on the floor, against the wall. The light ceased as quickly as it began and I lowered my arms. Princess Celestia stood in the middle of the library, 'She just . . . teleported . . . from Canterlot . . . to here. Why do I get the feeling I'm in trouble?'
Celestia turned her head and looked at me, "Is it physically impossible for you to stay out of trouble?" she asked sternly, "Five minutes, you weren't here for five minutes before Twilight wanted to hang you upside down."
I looked up at Twilight and she scowled back at me, Celestia continued, "You heard me. She wanted to hang you upside down for an HOUR. What happened between you two?"
"How do you know what she . . . " I began.
"Answer the question, please Daniel." Celestia said evenly.
I sighed, "I interrupted her magic by grabbing a scroll out of the air when she was levitating it. I thought . . . " I trailed off quietly.
"Continue." Celestia said quietly.
"I . . . I thought the only reason you sent me here was because Twilight was supposed to keep an eye on me because you didn't trust me." it sounded extremely childish when I said it out loud, but I decided to complete my thoughts, "When I went to introduce myself she just walked around me sizing me up like an experiment or a toy or something. I felt like a 'hetlar', not a 'hetlin'. I got upset because she didn't even take the time to introduce herself and I snatched the scroll out of her grip BEFORE I read your message to me." I could not believe how petty I sounded, "Once I read your message, the first thing I did was apologize to her, well, as best I could."
Celestia pursed her lips in a decidedly Human manner then sighed, "I wasn't aware you could cancel magical fields with a touch, we will have to look into that. To answer your question, Twilight told me what she wanted to do telepathically. It is one of the few uses of Mind magic that is allowed by law and even then, only by Ponies that are completely trusted and only by Alicorns. The very vast majority of the time we do not use it because it is so close to breaking the law. Twilight asked about hanging you upside down so she wouldn't end up injuring you by accident."
'Way to go Celestia. I feel bad enough as it is.' I thought.
"I can understand the way you feel though." she began.
'Oh no, don't you dare be so understanding about this!' I thought.
"I can assure you she never meant any insult." Celestia paused briefly and sighed, "It seems that I may need to reevaluate my stance on sharing your language."
'GOD DAMN-IT!' I was silently fuming, 'Don't give in to what I want just because I got pissed!?'
"I am saddened that this is necessary at all, but you seem too irritable to be completely left to your own devices without a shared language between you and at least one Pony around you." she raised her head straight up and looked me in the eye, "I will concede on this point only once and I ask that you do not bring it up again please."
'Wait, what?' I was puzzled, 'She has all my memories, she knows how pissy I can get.'
"I will share your language with only the other Alicorns. Don't worry about your memories, I chose to erase them from my mind. I realized you were right."
'Wut?'
"Holding your memories did give me too much potential power over you. Now I still retain everything you know about Human history and so forth, but your personal memories are gone. All I know about you now is from our interactions, but I remember that I trusted you enough to offer you the position of Emissary. The notion feels off, now that we are here in this situation, but I trust myself. Furthermore, I will only provide others with basic vocabulary, so references to pork and beef and so forth will be omitted. I ask that you not take steps to antagonize Twilight anymore, I truly hope the two of you can learn to get along." Celestia finished, "Besides, I have some things to discuss with you both."
" . . . Th . . . thank you." I muttered, feeling lower than whale shit, 'She forgot my memories?' I was flabbergasted. I sat down on the floor of the library in shock, 'I didn't know she could do that.' I pondered.
Princess Twilight had returned to the main floor of the library while Celestia had been busy feeding me an entire verbal version of 'humble pie'. She turned and spoke a few words to Twilight then touched her horn to Twilight's. Both of their horns glowed for several long minutes while I just sat there mentally kicking myself for acting like an ass-hole.
My attention was snapped back to reality when Celestia and Twilight parted horns. Princess Twilight looked slightly dizzy and she seemed to stabilize quickly. I decided to take the initiative and rose to me feet. I walked over to the pair of Alicorns and inclined my head respectfully before I knelt down in front of the lavender Princess.
"Now that you can understand me, Princess Sparkle, I wanted to properly apologize for what I did earlier." I said quietly.
Twilight regarded me with what I thought was a neutral expression, but I was determined to continue, "When we first met I felt like you were only seeing me as an animal and not a person, but that's no excuse for breaking your magic when I grabbed the scroll you were giving me. I did it to Razor Wit once by accident so I knew exactly what would happen. I wanted to express how I felt but since I couldn't, I lashed out at you. I should never have done that and you didn't deserve it. I misinterpreted what you were about, it's no excuse but it is the reason and I wanted to say I'm sorry I did it."
"It hurt, I'll admit, but I'm not injured. I never meant to make you feel like a thing instead of a person. How about we start over." she said, "My name is Twilight Sparkle." she said offering a hoof.
I grasped and shook her hoof gently, "Daniel Pering. It's a pleasure to meet you Princess."
I could see Razor Wit in my peripheral vision as I let go of Twilight's hoof. She looked vaguely upset and I could guess why, 'She's the only one in the room who can't speak American English. I bet it's killing her.' I felt bad for her and reached out my left arm as I sat down on the floor. I motioned for her to come closer, 'I can't ask Celestia to alter her decision right now, but I don't want Razor to be left out.' I pulled my tan Unicorn friend into a one-armed hug as soon as she was close enough.
Celestia seemed to notice Razor's expression and predicament and smiled warmly, "I am only going to do this once and I better not hear either of you talking about the translation while it's active, but for the next few minutes I'll allow Razor Wit to understand and speak with us." Celestia's horn lit up and a beam of white light lanced out and struck Razor's horn.
Razor shook her head the paused, her eyes growing huge, "Oh WOW!" I have to admit, she sounded very normal speaking American English, "Your language . . . it's so . . . vulgar and expressive!" she practically squirmed with delight, "Oh this is so exciting!"
"Ah-ah," Celestia cut in, "The spell will only last until I go back to Canterlot, it is not permanent and I ask that you do not discuss the translation while it's active."
"Alright Daniel," Celestia began, "I'm hoping to name you Emissary soon. Whether or not your people accept you as such will be up to them. They deserve an Emissary and while I would like for it to be you, it is their choice. In any case, there are things we need to discuss. Twilight Sparkle and Razor Wit," Celestia spoke to the two mares, "You are welcome to join in on this if you wish." she turned back to me, "Now, my sister and I have been contemplating and observing your people for some time now. We have determined that there are some significant cultural differences in the way Humans think as opposed to the way Ponies think. While the vast majority of Ponies self-regulate by virtue of our culture and social structure, Humans never developed that same type of aspect of self-control. You developed differently and despite what I knew, I never imagined exactly how much of a difference there really was. There have been a few instances where the Civil Guards stationed at New Humansville . . . "
"STOP!" I interrupted loudly, "New . . . Humansville?" I asked incredulously, "You came up with than when you still had my memories didn't you?"
Celestia's trollish grin made a brief cameo, "Actually I still know that since it it part of American History."
Twilight and Razor looked at me strangely, so I explained, "Humansville is an actual town in the American Mid-West, in the state of Missouri to be precise, and I just happen to be a direct descendant of its founder, old Judge Human. It's a running gag among my family that each new generation is 'less Human' than the one before." I turned back to Celestia, "We have to let the people decide the name of the town."
"I think it more than appropriate given the circumstances, but very well. This village is named Ponyville, so since Humansville has already been taken, I wrote New Humansville down for the next cartographic update for the region, we can alter it later if your people wish. We are getting off topic though. As I was saying, there have been a few instances where the Civil Guards stationed in New Humansville have run into substantial enough differences in the laws that govern our two species, that they have nearly come to blows on two occasions within these last three weeks. Because of these volatile events I would like to propose a version of the Human Police force . . . "
I held up my hand, palm out and fingers spread, "If I may, Princess."
She nodded, so I continued, "As much as I would like to blatantly say 'yes' to such a proposal, and I do agree strongly with the idea, Human nature would resent the lack of their option, opinion, or input. I cannot, in good conscience, agree to this unless the people are allowed to have their say. Even in your world here, I still believe that any type of governing or regulating body or actions should be the choice of the people. Furthermore I think it might be too soon. Give them time to adjust all the way."
"I'm afraid I have to disagree with you on that latter part. Human history has shone that Human nature is volatile and tends to run rampant when not kept carefully in check despite prime examples to act otherwise." Celestia said.
I opened my mouth, a harsh retort on the tip of my tongue, but Twilight spoke first, "I propose a compromise." Twilight said suddenly, "The people decide on the codified laws as well as the limitations on these... Community Welfare Guardians, but they begin training immediately so as to limit the amount of time and there-by the number of chances for violent confrontation between the Civil Guard and the Humans."
"Um... " Razor began, "Just a thought, I'm not as smart as the rest of you, but were any of the confrontations caused by magic?"
Celestia nodded, "In fact both of them were. Do you have an idea?"
"W . . . well, ever since the massacre . . . "
"MASSACRE!?" I yelled then turned to Celestia, "What massacre?"
Razor Wit covered her mouth with her hooves and Celestia sighed sadly while Twilight just looked lost, "A while back, after you reached Canterlot and ended up in your coma, there was a... misunderstanding between the Royal Guard and your Human friends. A traitorous member of the Guard, who I had already demoted, led a force of fifty Unicorns trained in battle magic in a nighttime surprise attack against your friends. Seventy Humans lost their lives in the attack." Celestia informed me.
"My god." I whispered, I could feel my temper rising, "I assume," I said loudly, "That the perpetrators of the attack were all hanged?"
Celestia drew her head back in revulsion, "No. They were severely punished though."
"Unless it involved tremendous and prolonged agonizing pain, I'd say you didn't deal with them harshly enough." I said tersely.
Celestia looked at me evenly, calmly, her voice was just as deathly calm and quiet, "Daniel, please. Enough lives have been lost over this. Have you witnessed the lives of untold millions from birth to death and the passing of every one of your friends from time beyond memory? Do you claim the moral high ground with calls of death and torture?"
I took a deep, slow breath in and let it out just as slowly, "May I ask for a short break? I need to take a walk and cool off before I say something I don't mean, because it's sure to be something I'll regret as soon as I say it. I don't want to upset any of you anymore tonight."
Celestia nodded, "Very well. Would you like one of us to go with you?"
I rose to my feet, "I'd like it to be Razor Wit."
Without another word I turned and made for the door. I could hear Razor's hooves clopping against the wooden floor behind me. I reached the door, turned the handle, and held it open for my tan companion. Razor headed outside and I bent over and followed her silently, closing the door behind me. I stood back up to my full height and stretched.
Looking around at Ponyville at night hardly painted an impressive picture. It was all dark houses and closed shutters. My night vision had always been a bit better than average and my sense of direction was at least passable so I wasn't worried about getting lost in a tiny village at night.
I picked a direction straight out from the front door and just started walking, "Sorry for pulling you out of there like that Razor, but I have a flash-fire temper and it was about to get the best of me." I paused briefly, "I completely forgot to ask, is it alright for me to call you Razor, or would you prefer me to call you by your full name?"
"Just Razor is fine." she answered quietly, "What you said back there, about torturing, did you really mean it?"
"At the time I did, but after Celestia . . . "
"Princess Celestia." Razor corrected me.
"No offense to either you or her but I'll call her Celestia until she tells me different. I haven't sworn allegiance or fealty to her. I respect her authority and position well enough, but she isn't MY Princess. So I refer to and treat her as an equal until I chose to recognize her as my superior."
Razor shook her head, "If that's how you treat your friends, I'd hate to see how you treat your enemies."
"I don't consider Celestia a friend, she's more of an acquaintance. YOU I would consider a friend." I said.
"Why not Princess Celestia? She obviously thinks of you as a friend. Otherwise she would have had you arrested several times over by now." Razor said.
"Actually I don't think she does." I said, "Let me explain. Celestia is a tactician. She knew me better than anyone ever has. She may have given up THAT advantage but she already knows how I work and that I'll challenge her if she gives me a reason to. She asked me to be blunt and honest with her and I believe she meant it, but have you noticed that every time we are together she continuously keeps me off balance? Every time we meet she reveals some big secret I didn't know before so that I end up taking a strictly reactionary position. If I'm merely reacting to everything I can't form my own plans. It's a game for her. She's constantly trying me, pressuring me, and pushing my buttons to see what I'll do. It's a never-ending test of my character with her. When she stops playing me like a harp from hell, I might think about the possibility of considering her a friend."
Razor was quiet for a few moments before she said something that nearly broke my brain, "Maybe the reason she does that is so you can learn to deal with it and still function."
I stopped in my tracks, stunned at her proclamation, 'Could that be it?' I wondered, 'She's certainly clever enough. Could she be... testing me?' and suddenly it dawned on me, 'The position of Emissary! It's not testing, it's grooming! She's grooming me to make sure I'm competent for the job!'
I stepped up to Razor Wit and wrapped my arms around her in a bear hug, "Razor, you're brilliant."
She froze momentarily but then relaxed and patted my arm with her hoof, "My pleasure."
I let go of her and turned around, "Let's head back."
"What about your temper?" Razor asked trotting up beside me.
"It seems pretty clear that I need the practice. I'll just have to learn to deal with it. I can't do that out here mopping around." I said.
We reached the library quickly and I held the door for her once more. Celestia and Twilight were still in the same positions they had been in when we left. I walked back over and plopped myself down on the floor in front of them. Razor laid down on the floor to my left, closer to Twilight and Celestia was on my right diagonally.
"Are you calm now?" Celestia asked evenly.
I nodded my head, "Yes, I'm fine now." I hesitated on the next part, but I knew I needed to say it, "I apologize for my earlier outburst. What I was calling for was over the top. For the record Celestia, I do trust your judgement."
Celestia nodded, "Apology accepted." she turned to Razor Wit, "As you were saying?"
Razor cleared her throat, "Anyway, ever since the massacre Humans have been afraid of magic. I witnessed it first hoof during my initial encounter with Tina, Rachel, and David and subsequently when I followed the Humans until they reached the location of what is now New Humansville. The first uses of magic they ever saw were lightning bolts, hurled by Unicorns, striking them in the middle of the night. The Humans are afraid of magic so what better way to mitigate that fear than to educate them? Send in a delegation of Ponies to teach about it. You won't so quickly fear what you understand."
Celestia smiled, "That sounds like a most agreeable plan."
"I would like to address something." I said, "The topic is weapons. Humans will craft them, if they haven't already. I understand that weapons are designed to injure and kill but Humans won't feel safe unless they are available." I looked at Celestia and motioned to her with my right hand, "You know this to be true. Humans feel they have the right to defend themselves, even if it isn't necessary all the time. We operate under the mindset of, 'it's better to have it and not need it, than to need it and not have it'. I have no idea how you feel about civilians wielding weapons and I don't like bringing this topic to light, but it needs to be addressed."
Celestia looked to Twilight, "Would you like to take the lead in this?"
Twilight smiled, "Certainly." she cleared her throat and looked me square in the eye with laser-like focus, "Pony civilians are not allowed to own weapons of any sort, however each city, town, and village has a cache of weapons and armor for emergency defense. Every adult Pony in every settlement is required to participate in an annual Emergency Preparedness Course. The three day course details the use of weapons and armor among other things. Aside from that, there are martial training courses that any civilian can pay to participate and learn. The courses train Ponies in the use of hooves, horns, and even wings as natural weapons. There is even a strictly Unicorn training house that teaches the use of telekinesis as an extension of the body. Actual Combat Magic however, is very strictly regulated to only the Unicorns in the Guard and even then there are only a few that are widely known. Higher ranking members of the Guard gain access through their advancements in rank. On the opposite side of that same coin however, their use of the spells becomes more and more strict. It seems to me that Humans could easily adopt a system similar to what we use today. There are so many tools that that are capable of being used as weapons that even owning a spear, mace, or sword is punishable by a twenty bit fine and confiscation of the weapon. How does that sound?"
"Like a sure-fire recipe for an uprising." I responded blandly.
Twilight looked at me oddly, I opened my mouth to respond, but Razor placed her right hoof over my left hand,
"I'll handle this one." she turned to Twilight, "Humans are at a perpetual disadvantage over Ponies. Humans are physically weaker and they have no magic either. The Humans as a species use tools to achieve their goals. Without those tools they are as vulnerable as foals. I've witnessed that truth directly when I was tracking them. Without tools there is no possible way they could ever defend against even the weakest Pony. They need to be allowed to have SOME means of self defense."
Celestia nodded, "I agree to a point. Every living thing has the right to defend itself, of that, there can be no argument. Despite that though, Humans do have what they call Martial Arts but those styles of combat are only intended for Humans to use against other Humans."
"How about we present that at the same time as we present the proposal of these Community Welfare Guardians. I would like to propose one additional idea. Once the settlement is up and running, why don't you send it teams of skilled workers there and allow the Humans to decide what type of job they would like to receive training for. Also send out word of a new settlement that needs farm hands . . . hooves to help fill the vacuum. I'm recommending this because Human technology is leaps and bounds ahead of your own and I believe we have a great deal to offer each other."
Celestia smiled warmly, "There are Ponies at New Humansville already to help develop the town. In regard to sending in skilled workers, I had that thought myself and the papers are ready to be sent out."
I chuckled happily, "I'd kiss you if you were a Human."
"On that particular topic, while I understand your culture's stance on zoophilia and bestiality, Ponies do not fall under the category of animals or even true ponies. I have a strong suspicion that before long, it is going to be a topic that will need to be addressed." Celestia said.
I closed my eyes and rubbed the bridge of my nose with the fingers of my right hand,
"Oi, I hadn't even considered that." I looked back up and around at the three mares around me, "What are your thoughts on that?"
"From a moral standpoint," Razor began, "There are no issues with one species marrying another in general, but such cases are extremely rare. Obviously compatibility is the most prominent issue. Social structure, social norms and expectations also have to be taken into consideration and there's absolutely no guarantee that all individuals who hear of it will be understanding." Razor said.
Twilight piped up next, "There are also other types of compatibility to take into account. Basic physical compatibility tends to be something of an issue with interspecies marriage. Not to mention compatibility on a genetic level."
She rose to her hooves and began pacing back and forth on the floor as she began what sounded like a full-blown lecture,
"We know that for Ponies, it isn't an issue for two different breeds to have foals since the base genetic template is identical in both parents and the determining factor of which breed the foal is born as, is based on dominant and recessive genetic traits and background. There are exceptions to those rules though, based on the location of individual development. If a Pony is adopted by a different species, say a Gryphon family for example, that Pony's Magerium will develop to match that of the most common and dominant surrounding Magerium. The Pony's Magerium would match that of the Gryphons. Obviously they wouldn't be able to fly unless they were born with wings, but the alignment and development of their Magerium would allow them to walk on clouds and be as strong and aggressive as any other Gryphon. If the Pony, were conceived in the Gryphon nation and their entire embryonic development also took place there, there is strong evidence that due to the prominent alignment of common surrounding Mageriums, the Pony would be born a Pegasus more often than not, and THAT is because the Pegasus genetic template resembles that of the Gryphons most closely."
Twilight stopped pacing and sat back down across from me, "We know relatively little about such things though, since interspecies marriage is so incredibly rare, but we do know that every species reproduces only at its base genetic template. Ponies can only have foals with Ponies and Gryphons can only have kittens with other Gryphons. There is no way to crossbreed two different species. Despite a common misconception to the contrary, Gryphons are not half-breeds. They are their own species that simply developed physical traits of both predatory felines and birds of prey." Twilight suddenly blushed sheepishly, "Sorry, I got side-tracked. Anyway, interspecies marriage between Ponies and Humans may be possible on a strictly physical level, but on a genetic level they would not be compatible and therefore never be capable of having foals naturally. They would have to adopt."
Celestia cleared her throat, "From a personal standpoint, I have no specific issues with the possibility, however Human prejudice may rear its ugly head very quickly. I think we should bring the topic to bear when we present all these other topics and see what the people think."
I nodded, "I agree."
Razor smiled, "Sounds like a plan."
Twilight grunted, "I suppose."
Celestia beamed happily, "While we are on the topic of reproduction and pregnancy, that brings into play one of the laws that no Pony would ever dream of violating." Twilight and Razor looked lost, Celestia ignored their puzzled expressions and continued, "In our world, in order for any couple to conceive, they must not only complete the physical act, but also want the young to be conceived. Their Mageriums must superimpose and encapsulate on the gametes in order to give the gametes the energy to begin the process of zygotic development. There are literally no young that are unwanted by both parents in our world. Parents may perish, but every birth is a desired event. That is why there are so few orphans." Celestia looked ill but pressed on, "The Human practice of abortion will never be permitted in Equestria."
Twilight and Razor looked at each other, obviously confused, "I don't know that word." Twilight said.
"Neither do I." Razor admitted.
Celestia looked at me, "I'll let you explain it. It is far too distasteful for me to do so."
I sighed heavily, 'This isn't going to end well.', "Some background first." I said licking my lips, "On Earth, the Human world, there is no magic whatsoever. Thamaturgic Energy is an alien concept. Because of that Humans conceive very easily and many pregnancies are unwanted. There is a medical operation Human women can undergo which destroys the fetus."
Razor Wit looked physically ill, but Twilight seemed quite upset, "You mean to tell me that doctors, those who have dedicated their lives to saving the lives of others, voluntarily and intentionally KILL unborn Humans!?"
I scratched the back of my head, "Our government decided that until a child is actually born, it is not considered a living thing and as such is not protected by law if the mother doesn't want it."
Twilight rubbed the sides of her head with her hooves, "So a single parent, not both, a SINGLE parent is capable of deeming her child, her CHILD, something that can be simply KILLED on a whim?"
I bit my lower lip, "That's about the extent of it."
Twilight rose to her hooves and laid her ears back, her face was a thunderhead, "That's barbaric! No," she shook her head, "That's so far beyond barbaric I . . . I don't have any words for it!" she began panting, "How can any culture that calls itself even remotely civilized ever condone such a thing!? It's beyond monstrous! It's incomprehensible! How could any species do such a thing! Do you Humans just walk around murdering each other for fun?" her eyes narrowed at me and she gritted her teeth, "Get out of my library!" she yelled, "I can't stand the sight of you, you disgust me, how could you!?" she stepped forward and lowered her horn right into my face, "Get out of my library this instant!"
I held up my hands against her head, "I didn't make the law! There's tons of Humans who disagree with it!"
"He speaks the truth Twilight Sparkle." Celestia said separating us with her left fore hoof, "Would you condemn an entire species on the actions of anything but the entire people?" her tone changed to matronly and commanding, "Step away from him," she ordered sternly, "Right now."
Twilight slowly stepped back but her expression spoke volumes that even I could understand, "If it means anything, I agree with you Twilight." I said calmly, "I don't agree with the practice, but there was nothing I could do to change it. Some Humans feel so strongly about it that they have killed the doctors that perform the operations. Not all Humans are the same. Please understand."
Twilight slowly calmed down, but she kept eyeballing me dubiously, "I'll listen, but Princess Celestia is right. No Pony would ever do such a thing. Unicorns proved long ago that every living thing that is intelligent has a Magerium. That Magerium, that living magic can be detected at the moment of conception. Any medically trained Unicorn can detect the living magic of a Pony even minutes after conception. Granted, some and thankfully few, miscarriages do occur. When that happens the deceased, unborn foal is buried as if he or she were a living, breathing member of society. Unborn foals are absolutely precious and fully protected by Equestrian law."
"The same will apply here, without argument or exception." Celestia said.
"Well then you're opening one hell of a hot topic. Humans distrust complete control by any entity, Human or otherwise. You might have a riot on your hooves." I said honestly.
Celestia smirked knowingly, "Perhaps not."
"You know something." I stated.
"I do indeed. My sister Luna has been in contact with one of the medical Ponies in New Humansville, Steady Hoof. She has determined that every Human female who is pregnant is al least a month and a half along in their pregnancies. That seemed odd to Luna so she went and carefully read your reports, Razor Wit. The time when conceptions seemingly ceased correlates exactly to the day when the Humans stopped vomiting magic. We have come to the hypothesis that Humans in Equestria now follow the same laws of reproduction that all other species do. The conception must be intentional. Magic is a living entity in its own right and it has seemingly determined that the rules of conception shall apply to all beings in this world." Celestia explained.
"Wait a second," I interjected, "If couples can only conceive when their . . . Mageriums align and give life to their gametes, that means the Humans have Mageriums. If Humans have Mageriums . . . they have magic."
Celestia giggled softly, "Not quite I'm afraid. A being's Magerium is a unique pattern, like a fingerprint, that effectively represents all the latent Magic in their body. It works like a conduit to the Natural Magic of the world and their intention to conceive is communicated through it. The Natural Magic allows for their gametes to be given life in order for them to fulfill their purpose. Yes, Humans have Mageriums, but they lack a vital organ in order to harness, channel, and control Thamaturgic Energy. That organ is the Screfula. Humans don't have magic to use, but they can process it without it poisoning them."
"Oh, I didn't get that before." I said, "So, when should this meeting take place? It's likely to be quite a long one."
"How about in one month, thirty-seven days." Celestia recommended.
"Am I to assume that I'll be there as well?" I asked.
"I would like both you and Twilight to be there, if that's alright." Celestia said.
"I don't see any problems with it." I said casually, "I would like to make a list of different topics to discuss as well."
Twilight seemed to perk up instantly, "List? May I help?"
I was surprised by her enthusiasm, "Uh . . . sure."
I had never imagined any living thing could ever be so excited at the prospect of writing a list. Twilight clopped her fore hooves together like a Human clapping their hands. 'Ohhhhh kayyyyy.'
Celestia rose to her hooves and stretched out her back then unfurled her wings and yawned, "It has been a long day and tomorrow will certainly be exciting in its own right. So with that in mind, I bid everypony goodnight." in a blinding flash of light, she was gone.
I sat in place for several seconds, unsure of what to do, "I'm sure you already thought of this, but where am I going to be sleeping?"
Twilight pointed over to a large sofa in the corner of the library, "I had less than a day of warning before you arrived. I have a spare bed but it's only sized for Ponies."
I shuddered, "Uh, can we stick to Kavim instead of Ponies please? The name makes me shudder."
Twilight's mouth twitched at the corners, "It's appropriate enough." she said also rising to her hooves, "I'll show you where the spare blankets are."
Razor Wit stayed on the floor, looking down sadly, "I miss the language."
Hey Celestia, your are not our ruler. Your laws don't mean shit to us. And as for what you want us to do, I could give a rats' ass. As much as you would like us to wear sheep costumes while we jump through your hoops, we are not yours to control.
Humans are not ponies, we will not trip over ourselves to please you, or bow to your every whim because we have are own views, values, culture and sociology that is literally like nothing you can comprehend.
Don't think for one second that you can judge any aspect of humanity. You are not qualified.
Trying to regulate anything we do. Who the hell do you think you are?
You don't tell us to do anything, you don't make us do anything.
You demand trust and compromise but offer none yourself.
Under the circumstances we have been shockingly nice.
Never forget that we were mere thieves, your precious ponies are the ones that started a massacre.
Celestia seems to have conveniently omitted that her gaurds killed unborn children.
Way are all the humans so copitulating.
Celestia makes a demand, this should be you counter-offer ; Fuck off or else we go on a killing spree.
Is your story-verse free for others to write in? Because I have my own version of handling things.
4273142 Wow, angry much? Heh, no offense.
I think that, considering what the U.S. Government would do in an identical situation, the Humans have it made. Were the situation reversed, we would have already killed all the Ponies and have our scientists all but bathing in their entrails just to see what makes them tick.
Or is this perhaps in response to that oh so hated of topics: abortion
I made a blog for these and other issues and openly welcome the feedback. I am curious, though how you would handle this. P.M. me your idea, you have my interest.
4273182
"P.M. me your idea" I don't know what that means.
But yes, I do get strangely intensely angry about fictional things ometimes, and it's not even cannon.
Frankly, I just want the humans to let Celestia know that they are not just going to roll over and do what she wants because she thinks "It's for their own good."
Say that to anyone and you will be met with fierce resistance.
Establish that they are an individual people / nation and not some pony annexable sub-kingdom subject to pony laws, values and control.
And maybe the humans discover some anti-magic ore and smelt it into weapons and armor.
I thought I had implied several things, but apparently I need to state them explicitly. The whole 'big meeting' thing is going to change the laws of Equestria. The laws will apply to all beings living in the nation, the Humans get to havee a say about the laws that will govern a whole nation. Celestia is bending over backward trying to give the Humans as much leeway as possible. It is nothing more than American arrogance that expects the people of other nations to speak our language because we are too lazy to learn their's. Our rules and laws only count in our own nation. When we travel to different countries we have to abide by their laws. Their land, their rules. The Ponies didn't have to give us anything.
Threatening a killing spree because we can't get our way? Seriously? If we did such a thing we would have proven exactly how accurate the 'stupid American' figure of speech is. Trust me, it's only when you have nothing, that you learn how to be grateful.
4273440
Be all that as it may, it does not change the fact that the ponies are being manipulative.
Herding and corralling the humans into the locations they want.
Celestia making outrageous demands so the humans will "negotiate" down to what she actually wants.
Expecting the humans to just accept that ponies have a dozen ways to kill them built in and get outraged when hold the right to defend ourselves..
Celestia needs to accept the fact that her side started this aggression.
And as for expecting the ponies to conform to the human ways; Why not? That's what the ponies are expecting the humans to do. And the humans didn't travel to equestria, they would leave if they could. And as for obeying equestrian law, how the hell were they supposed to know the law when a seemingly government sanctioned massacre is something that can occur?
...Why do I sense shipping between RW and our current protagonist? Any reason, Sir Author? (Props if you look at it closely and realize what I did.)
4273182
"Were the situation reversed, we would have already killed all the Ponies and have our scientists all but bathing in their entrails just to see what makes them tick."
No. As a scientist: No.
4276476 Typical negotiations in this story:
1 human: We do this A
Celestia: We do it B
1 human: Okay, we will do B
All the other humans: We are brainless and we accept anything that 4 or 5 guys decide, even if we are mostly against it. We will also not talk about or have any objections to it whatsoever.
What those unicorns did are basicly warcrimes...you know you are wrong when it is considered crime in a war.
But, victor's justice thrive again!
At least some of them feel horrible about their actions...
Celestia is playing a dangerous game and I want some human to tell her that. Either pering? or the leaders...
When in a position where options are few and your benefactors have the advantage in numbers, military might, and have access to a source of power you do not understand (magic), the best course is to play along, so long as the chance of a peaceful coexistance is the dominant factor. Keep in mind the ponies are still letting the humans to govern themselves, but in that respect, the ponies must also be as wary of humans as humans are wary of them. They don't have to help, but choose to because they feel it's the right thing to do. They want to see if humans can be lived with and they also want to see if this world will accept them as a whole.
I like how Celestia is cautiously taking the high ground on this. She knows she has complete control, but she's also giving the humans breathing room to adapt to their new surroundings. She'd rather have them as friends than enemies, given what she's gleaned from one man's mind the capabilitites of the human race. Despite our violent tendancies, we are also capable of being very caring and generous.
Calling bullshit on that. The entire premise of that is that the parents never change their minds, which is ridiculous. And someone as intelligent as Twilight would realize that without neural activity there is no awareness, no mind. The entire part of abortion just sounds like you making the ponies into your mouthpiece.
This fic started out so promising, but a few chapters a go it stopped being a good read and turned into humans being massive pushovers. Also that whole abortion thing was just ridiculous, if you want to have a discussion about abortion you probably shouldn't have your characters be your mouth pieces. Also my suspension of disbelief (bearing in mind the magical horses) was completely and totally wrecked by how out of character twilight was.
I would have told her off something fierce, had I been there:
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"Is that a rhetorical question your majesty? Because with all due respect your highness, or none at all depending on my mood, even if you were thousands of millenia old, it doesn't mean you are infallible. And yes, I question your judgement because in this case, soldiers of your species have died for disobeying an order, they slaughtered without conscience, just because their pride was hurt, they had the chance to back out and they didn't do it. Yet the humans suffered losses that are for more grave, most of them were all civilians, pregnant mothers even, isn't that much worse then loosing some of your, pardon my language, pitiful toy soldiers?
But since it's humans that died, apparently their pony killers won't be judged and punished as harshly because their ruler is obviously biased.
Oh well! Que sera sera, aiiight? But hey, it's not like her highness could have prevented the massacre by simply talking to the humans sooner, since her highness knew she had his *pointing at Dan* memories pretty early available, right? *gasp* What?! You could have? Then pray tell your majesty, why didn't you prevent this from happening? Ah yes, because you demanded your oh so controlled subjects, that were lead by YOU and no one else for a thousand years in a row, to step up their game and suddenly handle this on their own, overbearing them with a task they were absolutely fucking unfamiliar with, not lending them half your capabilities regarding help, despite having the means, our language at your disposal, to personally settle the matter without risking both pony and human lives, and preemptively eliminate any further grave misunderstandings. You are a fucking powerful Alicorn drowned in the wisdom of ages, just as you claim, but when your ponies needed you the most, YOUR soldiers and US humans, who were still stranded here for no goddamn reason, you just fucking backed out, with the easiest, and MOST of all SAFEST solution in tow, all because you wanted to freaking believe in finding a solution that all your ponies could follow, practicing on their own, instead of being concerned for everyone's well being, like you were preaching.
"No! I must not interfere, even if I have knowledge of their language! My overly controlled subjects, that grew up under a monarchy for a millennium, must settle this matter so that everypony can follow their example, despite them having zero experience with sapient aliens from other worlds and how to work self sufficiently without their precious ruler watching them"
WHAT COULD POSSIBLY GO WRONG, RIGHT CELESTIA?! RIGHT?!!"
... so excuse me princess, your royal highness, for doubting your judgment, but reality proves your fault.
So do us a favor, and stop with this "'I'm wiser and better then thou" bullshit.
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At this point I'd be screaming at her then calming down at the end, but spit out the last words with as much venom as possible, and wether she'd boil over with rage, or shockingly whimper at my implications, I wouldn't care. She is turning the facts the way she likes them to be and plays oblivious to her actual guilt. If she incinerates me then and there, or yell at me and force her will over me so I stay silent, well that would only proof she is a tyrant in denial.
Naming the town without consulting the residents is incredibly insulting. Celestia wasted a huge opportunity to raise human morale there. Letting them choose their own name would grant them a great deal of agency and security. They would have a place they could point to and say: "This is ours, we built it, we're safe here." which would do a lot to curb any bitter sentiment.
Equestria is definitely not a place I would ever consider living. I probably would have taken my chances striking out alone after I got some decent clothes and gear rather than live there in this story's scenario.
5903652 This depiction of equestria at least, ponies are total biggots
6270036 They actually aren't, it's just very hard to tell at this point. That and Celestia is batting a 1000 for dumb ideas right here. Do not worry, she gets a verbal BITCH-SLAP in the second story.
YOU FUCKING LIAR!!!
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Yeah, you fucked up. Also, still no right to play god. Bitch.
Hypocrisy at its finest. Thank you, Purple Bitch.
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I look forward to that. I hope to gain such orgasmic satisfaction.
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There is literally no comment on this story without a dislike on it
Huh, so Celestia is still trying to get Daniel to be an emissary....
.....but I was determined to continue, " When we first met I felt like you were only seeing me as an animal and not a person ....
need quotation marks
If i were to land on Equestria i would follow what Jesus said "Render onto the Ceasar, that is of the Ceasar" because everyone that has set foot on any land (born, migrated) has to follow the civil rules brecause you are using their infrastructures and land. It would also apply to norms and regulations. Until i feel oppressed, I don't think that I should give them any reason to attack.
EDIT: The above comment was deleted by me because I was stupid.
Alright, a bit late but ...
Let's start with things I liked - or loved. The fact we have a spectrum of opinions on both sides for starters. We have the hate-filled, the cautious, the neutral, the optimistic - and on both sides of the overarching conflict. It really makes this setting feel alive. The fact that language is and continued to be (until handwavium) a factor. It's hard to stick with a language-limited story, even flipping between characters for different voices. I liked the situation and the fact that humanity is starting from scratch. I like the world building (though some of it is a BIT too specific for a story in my opinion like weights and measures, the magic-list thing - these are good fluff and maybe as an appendix or something but as a chapter? Very minor though) and I liked how detailed the pony society is coming along. And I also like how these humans aren't running to the ponies with open arms and smiles - good on you for that thank heavens!
Now some of what I would call the bad.
Firstly, Celestia. Celestia here is a cunt. Sorry but she is. If a good person fails to stop a bad thing, is it their fault? Legally, probably not in most cases - but I would argue that morally it's a failure. And Celestia is a moral creature - she asked Twitwi to help reform Discord as an example. I really get the feeling she's blatantly using the humans as a teaching-moment for her ponies, as if they're not worth her effort to save just because they need help. I know she's investing time and money into some of the situation but there were many times she could have (and I say should have) stepped in to smooth a few confusing situations out and maybe prevent some crazy people from doing crazy things. Money doesn't solve everything. And also, I can't remember specifically but I'm pretty sure I never read an apology from her about how her soldiers mutinied and carved up a bunch of semi-innocent thieves. Regardless of if they were acting on her orders or not, she's the leader. It's on her.
She's imposing and controlling and honestly comes across as a bit power hungry. Now, if that's what you're going for then this is a moot point. As I read it, she is withholding information that the humans can use to make better decisions and this smacks of an aristocratic mindset that doesn't gel well with how I think she has been shown in the media. She's manipulative to an extreme and acts a bit condescending. She's imposed a name for that town, imposed her own idea of what is right on a group she doesn't control and limits their decisions ... because she can? Or maybe it's author fiat to make the story work - either way, it's not how I've always thought Celestia would act or would do. Twitwi is also acting like a bit of a bitch but I only got so far into her interaction before I broke.
The final straw for me, personally, was the abortion thing. Now, it's not ... fatguy's (can't remember his name) opinion. I disagree but I can understand he has an opinion and that's fine. Twitwi was a bit extreme in her reaction as well but that's not it either - it's Celestia (again). The situation in Equestria, as you've described it, is vastly different than on Earth. On Earth, gestation happens just due to natural processes - so incest and rape can cause gestation just as well as a loving act of, uhm, love. Celestia would have recognized this fact. Instead of saying that 'due to these magic-waves that make such things impossible (and only when both parties wish a child), abortion is both unnecessary and meaningless' she acts as if it's some random cultural practice akin to ritual cannibalism. As if humans abort the first child because the vodun priest read the entrails a particular way. Even if she disagrees with the practice, I really think Celly would base her argument in the logic of why people are forced to chose that path instead of just brushing it off as human barbarism.
So yeah, I really had great hopes for this but the way Celestia is acting and the little bit that I read of Twilight, I can't continue. These are not the ponies I recognize. I can't see them acting even close to this way. With her ages of experience and wisdom, I feel Celestia would be more understanding and less quick to exert such overt manipulation of the situation. I wish you luck in your further stories but I can't partake.
I stopped reading right here. This story has had a lot of good things going for it, but this is the proverbial nail in the coffin. She chooses to do this now, at the drop of a hat, because Twilight got a (well deserved) magical bitch slap? A hundred humans and ponies dying is not enough to budge Celestia on the issue, but as soon as her pet student gets a boo boo, all bets are off?
"Hey Celestia, why don't you use your magic to figure out where the humans fled to?"
"Noooo, that's cheating. Let's send our entire army on a goose chase instead."
"Hey Celestia, why don't you use your stolen memories to communicate with the humans?"
"Noooo, we can't step in every time something like this happens. Let's just sit back and watch them kill each other."
"Hey Celestia, why don't you get off your lazy flank, go to the front lines, and help out? You said yourself you could defeat the humans on your own if you wanted to."
"Do you like bananas?"
Celestia comes off as being hypocritical, condescending, holier-than-thou, flip flopping, trollish, lazy and just plain illogical, and I honestly can't tell if that's intentional or not. This story has shot itself in the foot so many times it's not even funny.
Instead of giving Celestia all these powers and trying to come up with poor excuses for why she doesn't use them, how about simply not giving them to her?
You need a reason for why she doesn't face the humans herself? How about because it's dangerous. She's not an invincible demigod. She's not a warrior. If she took to the front, there's a non-zero chance she could die. The humans appear to have some sort of anti-magic ability. What if there was a risk Celestia could loose her sun-raising ability just by touching a human? She can't take that risk.
Sorry for venting, but I keep seeing this omnipotent Trollestia in so many stories, and it just ruins them.
Why must you do this to me man?I really want to like this story, I REALLY fucking want to. It is really good when we are focused on the good characters in the town, the actually engaging characters.
And then you write shit like this.
Shit like the start of this chapter. Oh my fucking god, if I didn't know better I would think that it was two completely different authors, in completely different countries. This dung, sorry but it is, is so far beneath the other writing that it becomes cringey. The completely off canon OP magic I can swallow, I'm guessing it will be plot important later. The ponies insane behaviour? OK, sure, culture clash and different values and stuff, I can dig.
But then. Then you had to go and do it didn't you?you had to have a completely OOC demi-goddess chessmaster celestia. An arrogant, aloof oh so pure wise and powerful Mary sue celestia that is so fucking perfect and wise who views the incompetent savage humans failings as a patient patronising parent would watch a spoiled child. Oh humans are so brutal and flawed and wrong at everything and ponies are obviously so much fucking better of fucking corse she would view it as adorable to see a people fail at being civil and enlightened as her perfect ponies.
Fuck. That.
This is the cardinal sin of HiE fanfiction. The plague that marked the early era of fanfics that we thankfully grew out of because of how God awful it is as story telling. I can not comprehend how an author who at one moment writes gold with a silver quill can at the next moment vomit up this garbage. For that is what it is. A self-insert daring to exist within 15 feet of the glorious perfection that is ponies without grovelling of fawning over their splendor and infinite wisdom.
I am saluting you with one hand and stabbing you with the other, I admit. I quite frankly haven't read a story this good in a long time but at the same time it contains everything I hate the most. I don't know how you do it. How are you this good and still write something that bad?
Maybe it is me though. I realise that it may be that I blow it out of proportion and it is just my pet peeve but I truly believe that you could have done much better. You prove it with the parts focusing on the human group. Unless there is a really fucking important reason later that justify this, that the entire plot of the story hinges on, I must unfortunately say that you tarnish your own masterpiece. Like a like Leonardo da Vinci painting a sonic OC next to Mona Lisa.
Edit1: PS. this is not aimed at only this chapter. You have done this shit at several chapters. It is frankly disappointing.
Edit2: the part with the punishment is EXACTLY the sort of complete horse dung that should be so beneath you that is shouldn't be funny. I thought from the get go that it was completely incomprehensible that the punishment for murder and treason is a month strikt community service. It's what it is. A military company who committed treason and murdered 70 civilians got a month community service per life taken. If It was a human being instead of your car board cut-out of a self-insert he would have asked celestia if she truly thought so little of human lives that she thought they were only worth 1 month of community service. But logic is something that only exists in the good parts of this story I have come to realise.
Come on man. How couldn't you see this? It is shit. Objectively. You can make gold man. Why didn't you make gold?
The perfect answer here would be:
"Thank you for this enlightening discussion, i would like to return to my people NOW and would like to extend an invite to the Gryphon king and any other monarchs who would like to send emissaries to meet us humans in our temporary home. I think our ways of lives and ways of government are too different from each-other and i would like to seek other options. Your ponies... hospitality... has been appreciated... Razor Wit would you like to join me?"
Celestia is playing humans hard, too hard. She is forcing 1/1 ratio of ponies in human settlement and as stated earlier naming it herself for trolling purposes. Basically she is aiming to destroy humanity's way of life such as it is.
Understandable thing to do, you find group of people destroy their self identity and make them heel to your ways. Good job Celestia, you make all tyrants proud. Most other things in comments i cannot but agree with but...
7011708
I think that is a bit harsh really, you just need to accept that Celestia is eternal ruler who has grown jaded cynical and callous in her reign. She does not care if she needs to stomp people down to make perfect little society for HER ponies.
Edit:
Or maybe she does care but does it anyway.
"Repsectfully, princess, it's our town.
They will no doubt want to name it themselves.
And personally, I would prefer virtually ANYTHING else.
Hell, call it 'New Auschwitz' for all I care! Just nothing with a 'human' pun in the name!"
Not to mention, ANY form of combat a human can produce with the body would be entirely useless against a creature that can drop rocks on you from above, shoot you with lasers from their heads with a thought, or stomp the ground and cause a localized +8.5 Richter scale event.
Anything shy of allowing the humans to carry sidearms would be laughably ineffective, simply because of the lack of range a human's abilities would have.
(Celestia REALLY isn't being portrayed very intelligently here. She knows all this, and also knows that restricting humans as if they were ponies would 100% without fail result in a violent confrontation. And rightly so. Taking away the human's ability to match the ranged capabilities of ponies would be no different than sticking a wheelchair bound elderly person in the ring with a cage fighter in a match to the death.)
7022256
I agree.
Improvement to the human's way of life is one thing (IE, donating aide and supplies to help people who're literally at risk of starving, freezing, or dying from infection/injury).
But destroying their way of life simply because it's different is what she is actually setting things up for, and at that point she might as well just try to kill them outright and get it over with.
(Ie, no hunting. You can bet your life that Gryphons, Dragons, and other carnivorous species' civilizations have VERY different laws. Hell, dragons kill Phoenixes ~this is canon. The episode "Dragon Quest" stated that the adolescents wanted to smash a phoenix egg to stop them from reproducing~, which we know that the ponies' government wouldn't allow if a Phoenix were sapient, so other animals as well are not intelligent.)
7022292
Well if this is the case then the main problem in the story, which would resolve 90% of the comments i read and agreed with would be foreshadowing. People are literally out for blood of these ponies in comments, for actions (and inaction) of Celestia and i cannot but agree with many of the comments.
This is painful to read since humans are quite just creatures, only real way they allow things get fucked up is either by agreeing that the "other" deserves it, is for their own good or is "just an animal." In this case its neither of those and people get triggered for action, but since it is a story they cannot do much else than rant here and grow frustrated.
7022796
Yeah that would be pretty decent point driver but it is more like reservation, one which you stuff full of your own people too and giggle about peaceful cooperation. I mean look at history, i think best example would be if they would have done the following with native americans.
1. Place them in area, surround them with troops
2. Force 1/1 ratio of whites in the camp
3. Name the reservation "Indian Ville" while giggling about it IN THE FACE of their emissary
4. Start enforcing western laws and tell Indian laws are crap and immoral
5. ??? (To be honest i think it will involve forcing the education of coming children in pony institutions where they can be taught the pony language, pony way and pony religion... and how horrible humans used to be.)
6. The Indian problem is now resolved
What makes me so angry is that i see where this lead and how flippant person would have to be to make this happen. This is Marie Antoinette level of stupid. (And as in comment to author, i cannot know if author has some plans or idea how bad dark place this is going since it is not messaged in the story.)
For all i know this is all aligned with authors way of seeing the world and us filthy humans are included in pony society and our filthy barbarians way die out and there is a clap in the end. (Is why foreshadowing is important.)
Ive definitely enjoyed the story up to a point, but i'm beginning to near my patience's end. Ive seen numerous logical fallacies, weak arguments and little sense from many characters in this story and many of the things happening here don't feel like cause and effect, they feel more like 'its scripted in this exact way to fit the plot i want to push towards.' Thats not always a bad thing, but keep in mind that forcing the story is sometimes detrimental to it. Im also noticing, especially with the introduction of Twilight, that these characters seem, well, out of character. Celestia in the show is passively manipulative at best, and this story is portraying her to be this almighty tactician who is twenty steps ahead at all times, ironically enough thats contradicted with her first god awful plan to make contact with those nets, and is coming off as incredibly manipulative and controlling. Its not subtle either, its blatant and in your face, and is sometimes frustrating to read. Her idea of magic being cheating despite using magic for every single little thing and then disregarding that is also frustrating. Her judging humanity when, as other commenters have pointed out, its HER ponies that started the violence, not the humans. So her blatant mistrust, and by extension, her poor handling of this entire contact scenario, of an abused, mistreated, attacked, starved and psychologically damaged species is atrocious for someone of her age and experience.
I also feel as though you are using this chapter to push your own ideology on us. I may be mistaken, but it really feels that way. In my current sleep deprived state, i was ready to just drop this story all together and find one that doesn't call me a barbarian for thinking someone should have a choice on the matter of abortion. It REALLY made it feel that way immediately afterwards though, when i found out that the topic of abortion didnt even need to be explained or brought up at all, seeing as how conception in this world is entirely voluntary. When you go into something like that in a story, its for one of two reasons. Either to explain how something works for your story, or be relevant information for later on. If the topic of abortion was going to cause an issue later, with conception working the same way as on our world, it would have fit the criteria, but since it doesnt, it simply feels preachy and judgemental. Twilight also felt heavily out of character here, judging and reacting with anger as a knee jerk reaction instead of questioning and trying to understand it from a scientist's perspective. Even if she didnt agree, or was outright against it, her immediate condemning of the entire human race over that is appalling and not at all like her.
I do like the idea of ponies integrating into the population of humans and do like how that is going, that they are also planning to have the equivalent of a diplomat and are actively planning for the future of the two races working together. Im really looking forward to seeing where that ends up.
I will keep reading to the end, seeing as how this part of the story is already complete and i havent even started part two or finished this part. Who knows, maybe you will have improved enough on these aspects that further criticism wont be necessary. You are definitely an above average author, you just need to work on character interaction and character development.
Neither Twilight's position nor Celestia's letter actually excuses Twilight's scientist-with-a-lab-rat routine. It was rude. End of story. You meet a new person, you introduce yourself. So she is sometimes too scientific or analytic? That does not make it not rude.
Twilight never actually apologizes or admits any wrongdoing, and no one suggests she do so, while everypony is making a big deal about his behavior.
My respect for these ponies is dropping... dropping... gone.
4273142 Humanity, Fuck yeah!
First thing I thought of when I saw your comment. I just love those kinds of stories
4273182
Okay, just out of curiosity, do you actually have a connection to Humansville, MO? I'm asking because I have a connection to both Branson, MO and Audrain County in Missouri. Rueben Branson, who Branson was named after was my maternal grandfathers great uncle. Colonel James H. Audrain, who the Audrain County was named after, was my Great Grandfather's Great-Grandfather.
I'm not looking to start any arguement here, but I am curious why Daniel didn't bring up a few points: Pregnancies from rape, and fallopian tube/Ectopic pregnancies. The former can certainly warrant a mother not wanting to be stuck with her rapists's child. And in the later case if not aborted would very well kill both of them anyhow. Equestria would have to deal with the first at all, but I wonder if they never had to deal with the second. Just because the pregnancy was wanted, does not mean the pregnancy took hold where it was wanted.
8948688 All true and all are terrific questions that I'll be happy to answer. First off, rape. It literally cannot happen. If a mare screams or makes any unhappy nioses the stallion falls flacid and cannot perform. Two, pregnancy issues. The Kavim's magic can solve all of those problems with ease. A zygote attached to a tube is not an issue with Kavim medical magic. Spontaneous abortions do still occur (miscarriages), though they are quite rare. Humans, by this point, have developed enough from naturally occurring Thamaturgic Energy, that they have the same reproductive system as Kavim. Basically no more menstrual cycles and the requirement of intent in order to become pregnant. Did that answer your question satisfactorily?
Bit of a utopian system imposed by the magic here, but it does bother me that instead of explaining the differences while saying that he didn't support it, he just declares "I don't support it". Some emissary if he can't even argue on behalf of things he doesn't agree with but the people he represents might. Eh, he hasn't even really accepted the job yet. Presumably he'll learn better.
4273182
Thats a lot of negative feedback
And how do we do it? RIFLES!!!!! Come on men, start workin on those flintlocks!
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Has she ever said the words I'm sorry to anyone ever? Because I can't remember a single time in the show she did. She ran over spike feelings and didn't say sorry. She didn't say sorry to the town for the spell on her doll. She didn't say sorry to her friends or the hippogriffs for the whole steal the pearl thing.