I don't want to say all the things that normal author would write here like "I'm a am amateur author with a love for FIM." I just want to say that this is what i can do and i hope you can enjoy it.
One day Twilight Sparkle finds an old photo album of pictures from her past with her family and friends, but as she looks through she notices that there weren't any pictures of her as a foal. Surely, it's just that the book doesn't have any photos of her...or maybe, it's something a little more deep.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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It has potential. You do have some grammar mistakes tho.
Also there is another story titled The Truth you might want to consider a name change to avoided confusion.
Popped in because I wanted to see what you were doing with this. Twilight's past being some sort of mysterious secret is nothing new, but it's always interesting to see what ideas an author has come up with for it.
Biggest issue I have is verb tense. The writing constantly wobbles back and forth between present tense ("The light enters the room of one particular pony.") and past tense ("She was wide awake looking through old...") and it's very distracting to the reader. Traditionally a story is told in past-tense, as it has already happened. It's perfectly legit to tell in present-tense as though it's happening as it is read, but you need to stick with one or the other.
Second issue is speech. When a new character speaks, there should be a line break. There's some very rare exceptions to this, but when Spike speaks to Twilight in the fifth paragraph, then again when Twilight replies, you should start new lines beginning with the quote.
I'm not a big fan of quibbling over spelling errors when there's bigger fish to fry, so I won't bother pointing those out. :) The story composition and sentence structure is otherwise good, and I AM interested in the subject matter, so definitely keep trying! There's a couple groups on Fimfiction that are good for finding editors, proof-readers and the like you should check out, though I don't recall which are the best, off-hoof.
Not bad
More please and is very good !
i really like this story hope to read more soon
i know i commented on this chapter before and i am sorry to bug you i was just wondering if by any chance you know when you might post next chapter
i understand that life can get in the way and i don't want to rash you or anything i just asking if you don't know that is okay and take your time on making a grate chapter
5903059
A new chapter is up right now. It's not much, but it's something :)
Is there going to be more this is getting good
You want some criticism? Here have some. *hands over criticism*
It was a good story. Sucks that it didn't continue...
Interesting.
Are you ever going to finish this?