Pumpkin Cake looked upon Sugarcube Corner and sighed as only the adolescent can sigh. Ponyville had changed.
Oh, she admitted that many of the changes were for the better. As the Bearers of Harmony had saved the world again and again, Ponyville had gone from an obscure backwater to the unofficial second capital of Equestria. Ponies flocked to the town, and with those ponies came new businesses, including all sorts of interesting things for a growing foal to do.
But now, in her pubescent wisdom, Pumpkin could see the downside of all that growth. Her parents had moved to a newer, bigger bakery, and now the old one sat cordoned off by velvet ropes and armored guards. They said they were turning it into a historical landmark. What they meant was that they'd bleed all the life out of it, then charge tourists a nominal fee to walk around the corpse. Pumpkin had seen it happen to the Carousel Boutique, Rainbow Dash's first cloud mansion, and even the charred stump of the Golden Oak Library. But she'd never imagined it could happen to her home.
Mom and Dad had insisted that they needed the space. Pound just didn't care. But she wasn't going to take that lying down. Pumpkin watched as the last of the so-called renovators left the Corner for the day, then waited another few minutes just to be sure. Once she was, she double-checked the contents of her saddlebags, centered herself, and called on her magic. Her horn glowed a silvery blue, and soon, so did the world.
Pumpkin walked out of the alley and towards her home. The guards didn't notice her, because there was nothing to notice. The velvet ropes and door didn't block her, because there was nothing to block.
This was her personal trick, her special talent. Twilight Sparkle had called it ontolomancy, the magical manipulation of the very nature of existence. As far as the rest of the world was concerned, Pumpkin wasn't there. She actually had to add a little extra to the spell to make sure the ground still supported her. That had been an unpleasant surprise...
Pumpkin shook herself. No time for nostalgia now, even if that was why she was doing this. She made her way to the kitchen, and her heart sank. Only a few weeks ago, this had been a place where ponies had taken flour, sugar, and love and made wonderful treats for the town. Now the oven was gone, the cupboards were bare, and the room was cold.
Blinking back tears, Pumpkin dropped the spell and returned to the world's notice. She then pulled a can of spray paint out of her saddlebags. Pink, of course. If anypony would've supported her, it would be Pinkie Pie. That Mom and Dad had chosen to move now, when Pinkie was in Canterlot on official world-saving awesome sister/aunt business, couldn't have been a coincidence. Pumpkin removed the cap, shook the can, and aimed towards the ceiling. She knew exactly what she'd write.
"I wouldn't do that if I were you."
"Ah!" Pumpkin jumped, her shock releasing the can from her magical grasp. She spun to face the other pony, and recognized her in a moment. She was a pillar of Pumpkin's foalhood, an exemplar of unicorn awesomeness... and somepony who'd never let her get away with anything. "Dinky?"
Dinky Doo smiled. It was a familiar smile, a patient and patronizing one she often wore when putting an end to Pumpkin's plans. "Hello, Pumpkin."
"How did... Why are..." Pumpkin sputtered, trying to pick one question out of the many flooding her mind. Finally, she settled on "What are you doing here? I thought you had a job or something."
"I do. One of my first assignments was tracking you down."
Pumpkin considered this for a moment. "Huh?"
Dinky chuckled. "Well, I'm one of the few who can find you when you don't want to be found. Mom probably could, but my employers try not to call on her too often." She laughed again. "Guess I'm following the family business after all, huh?"
Pumpkin gaped, her mind well boggled. "You... have a letter for me?"
"Two, actually." Dinky's horn lit. A matching circle of light formed in front of her, and she dug a hoof into it. "Let me see..."
"Is that—"
"Yup. Pocket storage dimension. Not as efficient as Pinkie Pie's, but it gets the job done. Ah!" Dinky pulled a pink envelope out of the space. "Well, there's one. Give it a read while I find the other one."
Pumpkin did so.
Dear Pumpkin,
I really, really appreciate the thought, but Mr. and Mrs. Cake cleared the move with me before they did it. I think Mr. Cake said something about being worried about seas of blood and legions of unspeakable horrors if I didn't, but I'm pretty sure he was joking. I know Mrs. Cake laughed.
Anyway, don't graffitize graffiterate spray-paint Sugarcube Corner. Do you really want your last memory of the place to be vandalizing it? I didn't think so.
See you soon,
Pinkie Pie, Lots of Titles
Pumpkin looked up. Dinky was still struggling with the hyperspace pocket, looking on the verge of saying words that Pumpkin wasn't supposed to say in front of her parents. She bit her lip, then lit up her horn to fade out of notice.
"Nope." A spark from Dinky's horn, and Pumpkin felt the spell slip away from her. She looked up to see the older unicorn smirking at her. "Remember, Pumpkin. It's not just my PHENOMENAL ARCANE INSIGHT that lets me track you down. That's a side benefit."
Pumpkin pouted. "Like the glowing eyes and echoing speech?"
"Exactly," Dinky said shamelessly. "I break spells. You know that. There is nothing you can do that I can't undo."
This started an awkward silence. Awkward for Pumpkin, at least. Dinky kept rooting through hyperspace. After some time, Pumpkin cried, "BLARGH!" and charged at the older unicorn.
Telekinesis lifted her, leaving her legs flailing a few inches off the ground. "See what I mean?" said Dinky. "Aha! Finally." She produced a scroll and magicked it to Pumpkin. "Here's the other one."
Pumpkin took it in her own magic. "I don't recognize the seal." It was a dark green wax stamped with what looked like the number four.
Dinky nodded. "Yeah, it's not exactly a well-known one."
Pumpkin broke the strange seal, unrolled the scroll, and read. Once she reached the signature, the paper turned into a thin sheet of greenish clay and crumbled to dust. She blinked at this, then turned to Dinky. "Why can't I remember what I just read?"
"Ultra-tippy-top secret reasons," answered Dinky. "Do you at least remember the gist?"
"Some kind of... job offer?" Pumpkin frowned. "At least, I think that was it."
"If you accept, your abilities will be put to use for the good of all of Equestria."
Pumpkin squirmed. "I don't know. This seems kind of... off."
"Also, I'm pretty sure you'll be sent to the past rather often. Back to before Ponyville became a world-renowned name."
Pumpkin thought about this for a good minute. "I'm in." The full text of the letter filled her mind.
Dinky set her back on the floor and beamed. "Pumpkin Spice Cake, welcome to the Equestrian Time-Space Administration Bureau."
I kind of want a copy of that card, just so I can have a "sorcery" I can play at instant-speed
5159620
There were several in that block, because they wanted it to break into new markets or something and thought that it would be easier than having instants.
5159620 Sadly, it's an instant in the Oracle text.
A card that's strictly worse than Cancel. A sad sight.
5159818
Actually, since it doesn't stipulate "counter that spell", it may be one of the only ways to cancel things like Emrakul or Spellbreaker Behemoth.
Ah. Another look at the world of Elementals of Harmony. Cool.
5160534 Unfortunately, unless you're playing R&D's Secret Lair, you play cards by the Oracle text. For this one, it's "Counter target creature or sorcery spell."
5161723
My pals and I play house rules that effectively ignore errata anyway, so...
Man, Dinky is like a Planeswalker Half-Caste. She can't Walk under her own power, but she's such a potent lullmage that she could quell the Bastard Plane's rapaciousness.
5159715
Oh, Portal sets.
"Let's make it simpler for new players."
Sure.
"To do this, we should change the layout of the card, like putting a sword next to the power and a shield next to the toughness."
Cool.
"Also we're calling power 'offense' and toughness 'defense'."
Isn't that going to cause some confusion when they switch to regular Magic? And wouldn't the sword and shield address any confusion about the meaning of power and toughness, rendering this unnecessary?
"We're renaming the library the deck."
Well, that's intuitive, but it loses the handy ability to distinguish between the library (the collection of cards not yet drawn) and the deck (the collection of cards that the player puts together). Also, again with the potential confusion in the switch.
"Also we're renaming blocking 'intercepting'."
Okay now you're just fg with me. And the new players. What's the upside, here?
"Oh! And instants are too confusing. Instead we'll have sorceries that play by entirely different rules that amount to them being instants."
5161901
Really? So what do you do when someone gets hit by a Floral Spuzzem?
5162844
She isn't quite that powerful, but she does have a lot of juice in an area of magic that's minimally represented on Ungula. Ditzy, like all planeswalkers, is an outside-context problem wherever she goes. Dinky is a barely-in-context problem.
Just don't ask me what their Essence ratings are. I don't draw that heavily from Exalted.
5162970
"Also, let's have some guns."
Oh, come the on.
"You're right, you're right. How about we replace flying, instead?"
5164181 Hmm. The obvious place to start calculating Essence Rating is "how much magical energy this being can innately access", but Planeswalkers don't have pools of power that fill themselves. Indeed, Planeswalkers might be the only beings that don't have an Essence Rating (and blithely ignore any restrictions based on Essence). Planeswalkers have the Eclipsoid ability to learn (or at least learn to mimic) any magic, but a lot of Charms (especially Yozi Charms) don't do anything without an Essence Rating. Most Non-Infernal Charms that reference Essence could be modified to check for active mana bonds, but Cecelyne's Laws are unbending, Hierarchy's plan has no place for Planeswalkers, and the Demon City has little use for a soul that neither he nor his kin designed.
5169200
Yes, because if there's anything that Heretical Charms taught us, it's that the Yozis' wills are inviolate.
Really, given the fluff, planeswalkers could be described as Wyld Exalts. There doesn't seem to be much difference between Pure Chaos and the Blind Eternities. Creation's biggest weakness is that it doesn't have the "cell membrane" of most planes. Well, not since they killed Adrián.
Planeswalkers used to get bumped up to Essence 10 from the moment their Second Breath (i.e. when their Sparks ignited) back in the day, but Wizards added a rules patch, and now they're in a weird state somewhere between Exalt, heroic mortal, and completely different set of metaphysics. Still, they do sort of follow the Rule of Five Splats...
Again, Wyld Exalted. If there's a rule, they're going to break it.
5169318 Well, under the premise that Planeswalkers are so weird that they don't have Essence Ratings or mote respiration, Cecelyne's Charms of Authority (which say "because my Essence Rating is greater than yours, I have authority over you") and any pool-expanding Charms (Planeswalkers only have one pool, but its capacity is not a limiting factor) are useless. Planeswalkers could still learn them, since they can learn things as if they were E10 Eclipses, but they wouldn't do anything. I was just trying to state that in a fluffy and evocative manner.
My understanding is that Pure Chaos is massively teratogenic, not directly corrosive like the Blind Eternities. Granted, no hard rules exist (the Blind Eternities can be teratogenic, Pure Chaos can be corrosive), but that's my impression of their respective habits. Since Planeswalking is traveling in a direction orthogonal to 3-space, perhaps the Shinmaic Plane only allows entrance and exit via the Wyld, and lets anybody Planeswalk away if they're in Pure Chaos. Better hope you have the Spark if you take a step in the wrong dimension. (Exalts can survive the Bastard Plane, but can't move in it except back into the Shinmaic Plane.)
I find myself slightly dubious about trying to map Colors to Shinmaic sets. I suppose we can start by assigning colors to things freely and then looking for patterns.
Blue: Air (thought, artifice, elemental cold), Twilight Caste (artifice, scholastic pursuits), Night Caste (deception, investigation), Sidereal Exalted (for precognition and planning) and particularly Chosen of Secrets (deception, concealment), Lunar Exalted (for dynamism and adaptability), Moonsilver
White: Solar Exalted in general and Zeniths in particular, Orichalcum, Earth (stability, law, resistance to change)
Black: Eclipse Caste, Chosen of Endings, Soulsteel, Abyssal Exalted, the Underworld, Smoke (decay, corruption), the usual (notably, no Element of Creation is black)
Green: Wood (life, growth), Terrestrial Exalted, Lunar Exalted (for their connection to nature and territory), Chosen of Journeys (travel, seeing new lands, discovery) (no Magical Material except possibly Jade is green, and each color of Jade is more closely associated with its respective Element (and that Element's color of mana). No Solar Caste is green.)
Red: Dawn Caste, Fire, Lightning, Vitriol, Malfeas, Chosen of Battles
So Blue seems massively overloaded and Green relatively poor, although that doesn't take into account how fundamental a few of those green things are.
"Pinkie Pie, Lots of Titles". Hee!
If Doctor Hooves if Dinky's dad this makes perfect sense.
7114680
Nope. In this universe, Dinky's dad is a fairly unassuming if cantankerous mailpony. However, the Doctor did help train Dinky, so you weren't too far off.
Very Alarm Clock, The Next Generation. :)
8585992
Everything I did in my first few stories, Meta Four did without card games. It's honestly kind of humbling.
Rereading is just so nice!
Now I'm just wondering what Dinky does for the ETSAB other than train Pumpkin, as said in Sideboard.
Also Pound is a mystery.
This was good. It spawning possibly answer-less questions doesn't detract from that.
8814092
Pound works in demolition. His cutie mark is a hoof shattering a brick.
As for Dinky, she CLASSIFIED INFORMATION, but only on weekdays.
Personally, I make a point of never accepting nonspecific contracts from undefined sources.
How far does your MTG verse go because I really want to see more of this Pumpkin, Dinky and everything. All you write is great and I want so much more of this.
(Personal headcannon on the future of Ponyville. I think Ponies will try to move to it because of it's importance but they can't stand the craziness and monster attacks, so it'll stay a small town but one that's on every map.)