Surprise is a simple Cloudsdale mare. To make ends meet, she is hired by ponies to perform stunts for them at parties. Nothing grandiose, really -- a few spins, flips, and loop-de-loops work wonders on a frowning face.
But as she returns home one evening, she bumps into a mare who sees promise in her, a mare who grants her a once-in-a-lifetime chance doing something she had only barely thought of before.
An entry into the 2024 Wonderbolts Sitewide Contest.
This was a very fun story, and your Surprise was a joy to read.
I did notice a minor typo when Spitfire first arrived:
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Thank you! And thank you for catching the typo; fixing now.
I have seen Sergeants and Lieutenants mentoring recruits, but given this is essentially-egalitarian Equestria, it is believable for a Captain to recruit and mentor a newbie. Nothing wrong with the concept.