Journal of the Stars

Seluna of the Night- Princess. Ruler of the Moon. Prone to jealousy. And Fortune Teller.

Princess Luna has never revealed why she didn't take apprentices.

Edited by jeray2000. Who, by the way, is awesome.

Chapters (4)

Prologue · 21st Mar 2014 · 1,280 words
1,280
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Dreams · 22nd Mar 2014 · 1,358 words
1,358
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Smoke Screen · 25th Mar 2014 · 1,954 words
1,954
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Northen Lights · 22nd Apr 2014 · 1,337 words
1,337
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Comments ( 9 )

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defunct321

defunct321 #1 · Mar 22nd, 2014 · 2 · · Prologue ·

This is good. But I must tell you one thing. Luna is not best pony. Discord is. Even if He is not a pony, He's still best pony. That's just how much best pony He is.

Et-Luna-Et-Stellis

Et-Luna-Et-Stellis #2 · Mar 22nd, 2014 · · · Prologue ·

4115410
I'm glad you like it. Well, I guess everyone has different opinions on the "best pony" thing. It's good to know that Discord get some love. Discord will be making appearances in this story, and I daresay you'll have a chapter from his point of view.

defunct321

defunct321 #3 · Mar 22nd, 2014 · · · Dreams ·

Two critiques on this chapter: You should have had Celestia bottle everything up because it would create suspense which would make the big reveal all the more exciting when it comes. Also, just to clarify, did Aurora Wind commit suicide because she was ashamed to have a kid sister who acts like a kid? Because that's what it sounds like you're saying.

Et-Luna-Et-Stellis

Et-Luna-Et-Stellis #4 · Mar 22nd, 2014 · · · Dreams ·

4117926
Having Celestia bottle everything up isn't a bad idea, but I need the reader to know thus much for the rest of the story to make sense. The focus here isn't on Celestia's trouble (although there will certainly be a bit of that) the focus is on something else, which will have more suspense and build up to it. And about Aurora Wind- yes, that is precisely what I'm saying. There will be a chapter based on Aurora's point of view, as it is crucial to the plot, like the chapter from Discord's point of view. I don't want to spoil the show ahead but, Celestia did describe her as ruthless and of having an "independent streak". And Celestia was the younger twin. Hint hint?

sniper 1232

sniper 1232 #5 · Mar 25th, 2014 · · · Dreams ·

Yay celestia is no longer "Ms. Perfect"

defunct321

defunct321 #6 · Mar 25th, 2014 · · · Smoke Screen ·

And this time it worked. The portals were there, each containing a different image- some a happy land of tea parties and ice cream, others, more dark and forbidding.

And this time it worked. The portals were there, each containing a different image- some a happy land of tea parties and ice cream, others, more dark and foreboding.

Foreboding is the word you want. As you had it, the portal was ordering somepony from not doing something. Assuming the portals in the fic do not have the ability to command others to not do certain actions.

Et-Luna-Et-Stellis