After the exciting events of the family road trip to Golden Delicious' cabin. Pinkie Pie could not be more happy to consider herself apart the Apple Family. She is so happy that when she is about to take a weekend to trip to see her own family, she unexpectedly invites Applejack to stay at the Rock Farm. Applejack not wanting to upset her friend unwillingly comes along in only hopes to prove that she can be a Pie just as well she is as an Apple.
Written By: Gleaming Ember
Edited By: Mac349
Pre Read By: rainbowdashisbestpony100
Cover Art By: Gleaming Ember
Did some call for an editor
4983774
Um no why?
4983791 o your blog post said you nedded one
4983815
Ok thanks for the offer I will probably need one for my second chapter of the story because the other two are busy with thier own lives but I will keep in touch! Thanks for the offer :)
4983825 no proub bro
4983833
Thanks but I'm a girl
4983882 oo I'm so sorry miss I dident know
The j in Applejack isn't capitalized. Only problem I saw besides a few missing commas in the description.
4983891
Hey don't worry about it
I'm liking the story so far, and I'm really curious as to how Applejack and the Pie family will interact.
The current chapter could just use a little proofreading, but they aren't really bad. Just minor fixes here and there needed.
Overall, I'm keeping an eye on this now. If anything, I'll be bored out of my head tomorrow and help hammer out the minor fixes needed for this chapter.
4984072
Thanks I know it needs a little touch up but thank you. Criticism always accepted
4984049 ok thanks sorry
This is an interesting little fic, and I hope to see more of it soon. Though this chapter did have a few mistakes here and there.
That's pretty much a word for word recreation of the opening scene of "Pinkie Apple Pie". Not one of the most memorable opening sequences, but far from forgettable.
4984214
Yeah I know I did that on purpose. I just wanted to throw in a little joke.
Hey where's Maude Pie in this story ?
4984263
You have to wait and see
I'm really liking it, please continue.
I like it, though there are some issues with commas. I think Big Mac talks too much for his character, but you got Granny Smith down to a tee.
4984887
I know he talks a little too much but it was for a good reason. He was being a supportive big brother
4985330
Thank you for criticism I am working on fixing it so that it flows better
Can you do one for Rainbow dash Please?
4990807
What do you mean a story?
Yes a story about RAINBOW DASH where she gets lost and she finds her parents.... alive.. then she will have to choose between her parents and her friends. Who will she choose? Something like that okay?
4991131
I'm not planning on writing any Rainbow Dash stories right now. Maybe I will write one later in the future.
Okay just consider my idea alright?
I love Rainbow dash
4991227
Ok but I'm not promising anything
Granny Smith should have talked to Applejack about her not worrying about the harvest instead of how she needs to act in front of the Pies. That is what she was all up in knots about. Plus a few punctuation and grammar errors. Nothing too major.
Following, but haven't "Yay'd" or "Neigh'd" yet.