It has been a few months since Dinky Doo Hooves joined the Cutie Mark Crusaders, with Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, and Applebloom still not having their cutie marks. They are still Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon's top ponies to tease about not having their cutie marks, yet. But that soon going to change when the four little fillies have a special case of love-bug from one of Cupid's arrows.
As things are going to be chaotic when the fillies realize that they have crushes on the three colts by the name of Pipsqueak, Rumble, and the total pony gamer, Button Mash. How will this go down with only four fillies and three young colts with very very different personalities? But that only means one little filly of the group is going to be heartbroken. But who will be the heartbroken filly of the Cmc?
Will it be Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo, Applebloom, or the new Cmc member, Dinky? Will the Cmc break apart due to their cases of love? Or will their Friendships just break apart into tiny pieces, over three little colts?
How will this turn out with the Cmc fillies doing whatever it takes to win over the three colts of their dreams?
There really oughta be a Button Mash character tag, given how many fics there are with him in it.
Also, if there's possible PipxApplebloom, you will have all my likes. Even if there's not, we still cool. :-)
Awesome
MIND BLOWN
This is a double negative, so DT and SS are actually giving the cmc a compliment. If you untalented at nothing, then you are talented at everything
Good story anyway.
Me being a Grammar Nazi,
They only have a gaming session once per year?
This is the only time in this chapter it is referred to as Minecraft, and not Ponycraft
Shouldn't it be "that's much better."
Is this supposed to be in first person, and you should say Whooves family's cottage or Whooves' cottage, the way you wrote is awkward. Residence implies house and does not need another word for house after it.
Is that really a question, and that sentence doesn't flow right, it should be "So you must be that colt, Pipsqueak, that my little niece has been talking about the past week, about you coming over to the our cottage for a sleepover."
The commas should replace the first period, and it should be hadn't, not haven't, and I'll let it slide with the accent, but it should be taken instead of took.
should be "what's with ya Applebloom?" no comma, and what's or what is, not what by itself.
should be that's all, that all implies a question mark as in "that all you wanted to talk about".
Should be, flattened his ears, flatten usually implies someone telling you to do it.
Alright, but
There are more mistakes, but I got tired of pointing them out. Sorry if this offends you or if I was wrong on any of my grammar.
ponycraft 2 seconds later know called minecraft me: ._.
also Rumbaloo, and Button Belle are best cmc ships
Can you do a fight between Dinky and Applebloom? Pwease
5452809
It doesn't offend me at all!
It was much, helped!
5481987
I think you meant much.
I can help with proofreading, but either way I'm gonna post mistakes I see in the comments.
P.S. you didn't use three of my corrections, did you miss, forget, or not get around to them?
One more correction
should be class is dismissed
I thrive on ButtonBelle. It must be so.
also, Sweeble is decent. Pipy is nice, Scoot Mash is unbearable, I don't really like Sweetie Squeak...
What I would do is this
Sweetie Belle x Button Mash
Scootaloo x Rumble
Apple Bloom x Bitten Dust (insert Yandere joke here)
Dinky x Pipsqueak
Excuse me good sir, may I have some more??? MOAAARRRRR!!!!!
Update pls
button belle
rumbaloo
pipsqueak and dinky
5481987 please tell me its not applebloom and rumble please please PLEASE
5941505 I agree with everything you commented, but I thrive on Rumbloo. And SoarinDash. And ButtonBelle. Okay, I agree with everything.
Are you going to continue this?