• Member Since 31st Aug, 2012
  • offline last seen 7 hours ago

MyHobby


"For fun" is the best reason to do anything. "The best" is the best way to do everything.

T

A father reads his daughter a bedtime story pulled from history:

When a horrible monster brings its wrath to the griffon lands, a small band of refugees must travel across the sea to find safety. There, one of their members must rely on a stranger to survive the night in a mysterious forest.


Rated Teen for

Fantastical Politics
and
Philosophical Discussion


Chapters (1)
Comments ( 19 )

Smart Cookie groaned and pushed herself upright, just in time to watch the monster claim

Claim what? :rainbowhuh:

5959247

Claim what? :rainbowhuh:

:fluttershbad: Oh my gosh that's so embarrassing! I was making a few last-minute edits this morning, and I guess that one got lost in the rush. :facehoof:

Thank you so much for bringing it to my attention!

just in time to watch the monster claim its assured victory.

Well. DAMN.

We need more of this! XD

That was a hella nice story to come outta that prompt. Hope it does well, it certainly deserves praise for the approach you took there. This was tons of fun.

Best Bearbutt ever! Seriously, I love all the juicy worldbuilding we get in this story, both past and present. It feels like three parts, the soft storybook beginning, the gradual shade into darkness when Pantherbutt shows up, and the darker side confirmed when Andean walks into that warroom.

The elder ran his talons through his vast beard of feathers. “Father Yuletide is real, Stella. Or was. The stories are based on a real individual who…” He watched as Stella’s eyebrows slowly but surely wrinkled her forehead. “Who probably didn’t climb down chimneys to deliver presents.”

I thought in Felaccia he was known as "Sandy Claws." :rainbowkiss:

“Some say they were the dragons’ only natural predators. Some say they came from a world beyond, or were crafted by an evil enchantress…” The father shrugged. “Who can say, now that they’re gone?”

I can say: Time Traveling Dark Mistress Peachie Pie.

“Please, Papa?” She fluffed out her head feathers, making her appear to be even fuzzier. She tilted her head in that specific way that made her father smile, opening her eyes wide. “Pretty please?”

This entire story Stella has been adorable, but at this point... :heart: I hope Ambrosia can cure Diabeetus.
s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/e6/82/0d/e6820d3cbb3ed856518f25972f5eaf78.jpg

The crackly voice belonged to a small, black-feathered griffon whose feline rear half was covered in striped gray fur. Red, silky robes clung to his thin, almost gaunt body. He smiled up at his king. “It’s my job to be here, Your Grace.”

Looks like we got a Griffon Dulcimer! I love to hate him already. I imagine he looks something like this:
s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736x/ad/91/c1/ad91c1d4f54cd3aba476e7688b79142e.jpg
But much scrawnier.

Corvus shrugged. “I was nervous myself, but we all have off days. It just so happened that today was his.”

I'm sure it was a completely fair and above-board fight with no foul play of any kind.

The chamberlain fluttered his wings, jumping away from Andean’s massive grizzly bear paw. “Mm! You know, Your Grace, since I’m practically part of the family now, I thought—”

Oh yes, yes! Trying to get his paws under the table the old fashioned way, I see. The only question is, which daughter? I sure hope it's Corona.

Andean reached around and pulled the doors open. “There are two halves to naiveté: That which sees the world as only black and white, and that which sees it only in tones of gray.”

Here here! The sad part is, almost everyone grows out of the first kind, but so many don't make it out of the second.

He flicked his beak in Corvus’ direction and whispered, “If you ever presume to lecture me on how to raise my children again, I shall launch a very dark, very nasty reprisal against you. Are we clear?”

Ouch, that's a little harsh, since Corvus is practically part of the family now. :trollestia:

Andean sat on his towering, oversized throne. Corvus regarded him for a moment, before turning around and flapping through the air. “One must wonder,” the chamberlain muttered, “if the world is such a beautiful place, what is all this for? Mm?”

Buuuuurn! Looks like whatever else we can say about him, Littletalons here isn't an idiot.

An aide set a series of blueprints by Andean’s left talon. He grasped the bulk of them and held the sheets before his eyes. They depicted the ironclad fleet—ships made not out of wood, but impervious metal. They were resistant to magic, sturdy against catapults, and unflinching against arrows. There was no other vessel in the world that could match them.

Oh, that is sweet. I'm assuming these are airships too?

Andean raised his head above the paper. He beheld his oldest daughter, Corona, flying overhead, wearing a light suit of armor. She smiled at him, fluttering her wings to land softly before him. “I learned a lot today! Are you busy, or can I share it with you?”

I wonder who she thinks she's training to fight. Ponies, other Griffons, just generally being prepared?

I really love way Andean promotes a healthy amount of innocence in his daughters as a ward against cheap cynicism, even as he succumbs to it himself (at least to a degree).

Excellent world building. Loved it.

Well that was nice. Love the conflicting messages

5959660

Well. DAMN.
We need more of this! XD
That was a hella nice story to come outta that prompt. Hope it does well, it certainly deserves praise for the approach you took there. This was tons of fun.

:twilightsmile: Thank you! It was tons of fun to write, too. Nerve-wracking, but fun. I'm reasonably sure it'll do pretty well. Fingers crossed!


5960482

Excellent world building. Loved it.

Thanks! The griffons have always had the most complete world in my stories, I think. There's something awesome about them that downright calls to me. I regret that this story didn't quite give a full picture of them.


5961078

Well that was nice. Love the conflicting messages

Conflict is King Andean's byword. :duck:

Not gonna lie, I thought (and still think) that final section's going to get points deducted for being preachy. Nobody likes a preachy story, or one that appears so. I hope that through the conflict, people won't think "Andean is a mouthpiece," but will instead ask themselves what they think of Andean.

Sometimes I know something is potentially a bad idea, but I do it anyway just to see what explodes. :twilightblush:



5960372

Best Bearbutt ever! Seriously, I love all the juicy worldbuilding we get in this story, both past and present. It feels like three parts, the soft storybook beginning, the gradual shade into darkness when Pantherbutt shows up, and the darker side confirmed when Andean walks into that warroom.

All hail the unbearably bare Mountaintop Bearbutt!

It is kinda in three parts, thought I thought of them as being the story, the reading scenes, and the final scene between Andean and Corvus. I spent a while wondering if it was a good idea to add that final bit. It's a little jarring. And yet, that's where most of the griffon-specific world-building is. I just hit the gas and kept going!

I thought in Felaccia he was known as "Sandy Claws." :rainbowkiss:

He was in the first draft, followed by Sinterklaas, Father Christmas, and Saint Nick. :scootangel: I think this was the best way to do it.

I can say: Time Traveling Dark Mistress Peachie Pie.

Only the mistress of shadowy shadowed darkness and roller skates knows for sure!

This entire story Stella has been adorable, but at this point... :heart: I hope Ambrosia can cure Diabeetus.

Dwaaaaah that is the cutest griffon picture ever. And almost exactly how I picture the little princess. It's too perfect!

Sadly, ambrosia is wholly ineffective against Diabeetus. You may consider growing a bushy mustache to combat its effects.

Looks like we got a Griffon Dulcimer! I love to hate him already. I imagine he looks something like this:

But much scrawnier.

You may have just found the portrait Corvus commissioned in his own honor. :moustache:

Behind the scenes, he was inspired in a big way by this guy from the movie The Dark Crystal. Mm!

I'm sure it was a completely fair and above-board fight with no foul play of any kind.

Good sir! You besmirch the honor of a member of the king's own household! :pinkiegasp:

Oh yes, yes! Trying to get his paws under the table the old fashioned way, I see. The only question is, which daughter? I sure hope it's Corona.

First of all, Corona's only, like, fifteen. So EEEEEWWWW. Second of all, new information incoming! The Felaccian Meritocracy extends to the kingship as well. It doesn't matter if you marry the king's daughter, you still have to prove yourself via honor duel with anybody else who wants to be king. We'll see that little tidbit in action during Rhythm and Rhyme.

Here here! The sad part is, almost everyone grows out of the first kind, but so many don't make it out of the second.

I personally like my world with a little color to it.

Ouch, that's a little harsh, since Corvus is practically part of the family now. :trollestia:

The difference is that he is not a cute griffon child. Andean likes to play favorites. :trollestia:

Buuuuurn! Looks like whatever else we can say about him, Littletalons here isn't an idiot.

He was smart enough to keep the comment to himself, at least. :twistnerd:

No, he is not stupid. He is a very clever sort, clever enough to maneuver himself into a position of power that sits behind a position of strength. The gears are turning in that crafty mind of his. Muhuahahahaha.

Oh, that is sweet. I'm assuming these are airships too?

Nope. Seagoing vessels. The griffons have not yet invented airplanes, but on on their way to crafting submarines.

I wonder who she thinks she's training to fight. Ponies, other Griffons, just generally being prepared?

This goes back to a chapter from DayBreak, where she and her father are discussing Griffon Meritocracy against Equestrian Aristocracy.

He scowled. “Also, do not mistake their concern for compassion. They understand the ways of manipulation far better than most griffons. They know how to use hypocrisy as a tool. They will pull the thorn from your paw… for a favor.”

Corona turned her eyes down. “I just know that many of our lords bullied their way into power.”

Andean sighed. He lay his wingtip over Corona’s shoulders. “Indeed. That is why the King or Queen must be ready to make sure the bullies cannot abuse their power further.”

“I understand, father.” Corona’s ears drooped. “Until such a time comes that someone can take the power from them.”

Andean winced. “I was going to leave that last part unspoken.”

She's getting ready for the griffon-style smack-down!

I really love way Andean promotes a healthy amount of innocence in his daughters as a ward against cheap cynicism, even as he succumbs to it himself (at least to a degree).

Such is the ongoing tragedy of Andean. At the end of the day, you do what you can do and hope that the world is better for it.:ajsleepy:

5996081

He was in the first draft, followed by Sinterklaas, Father Christmas, and Saint Nick. :scootangel: I think this was the best way to do it.

Just as long as his sidekick Krampus the Diamond Dog rides shotgun to punish naughty chicks.

Sadly, ambrosia is wholly ineffective against Diabeetus. You may consider growing a bushy mustache to combat its effects.

That just hides the symptoms by catching your tears before they fall of your face! And if you're going to do that, just do what AJ does and use a friend's tail instead. :ajsmug:

You may have just found the portrait Corvus commissioned in his own honor. :moustache:
Behind the scenes, he was inspired in a big way by this guy from the movie The Dark Crystal. Mm!

Good old Dark Crystal, Jim Henson definitely had a dark side. I think they used Dark Crystal as inspiration for the Tirek issue of Fiendship is Magic. I was going to guess that if Corvus had an Equestrian name, it would be "Star Screamer" or something.

Good sir! You besmirch the honor of a member of the king's own household! :pinkiegasp:

With what, innocent questions? Look, I'm no namist, I was as outraged as anyone when the Equestrian Treasurer was fired after only 2 days, just because his name was M. Bezzler. But the guy's name is Corvus, like a crow! They don't call a group of crows a "fair duel" of crows, do they, they call them a murder!

First of all, Corona's only, like, fifteen. So EEEEEWWWW.

Sorry about that, I've been watching Game of Thrones, my expectations on acceptable age to marry off a noble daughter for a political marriage are fairly low (in more ways than one).

The Felaccian Meritocracy extends to the kingship as well. It doesn't matter if you marry the king's daughter, you still have to prove yourself via honor duel with anybody else who wants to be king.

Sure, and if Corvus got his grubby little claws on the crown, I am sure that with the increased resources of the monarchy at his command, he would defend his title in duels even more fair and non-poisoned than he already has. :twilightoops:

We'll see that little tidbit in action during Rhythm and Rhyme.

Every time you mention that work I bust a quick anticipatory move.

I personally like my world with a little color to it.

Whatever you say, Tree Hugger! (That's an Equestrian-specific insult now!) Seriously though, I'm imagining a rival for Corona's heart, Baron Rony, and B. Rony prefers to see the world in bright pastel colors! (Visits Equestria a lot in his spare time). Or maybe Gaston can step in.

The difference is that he is not a cute griffon child. Andean likes to play favorites. :trollestia:

He was never a cute griffon child, baby crows are pretty ugly.

The gears are turning in that crafty mind of his. Muhuahahahaha.

Someone's thinking up a fantastic villain song as we speak, isn't he? :pinkiehappy:

Nope. Seagoing vessels. The griffons have not yet invented airplanes, but on on their way to crafting submarines.

Ouch, what about high-flying Equestrian airships? I'm guessing those ships have excellent SAMs then.

She's getting ready for the griffon-style smack-down!

The only true Griffon King is King of the Ring!

Such is the ongoing tragedy of Andean. At the end of the day, you do what you can do and hope that the world is better for it.:ajsleepy:

Decent parents want their kids to have it better than they did. Great parents want their kids to be better than they were.

5996240

Just as long as his sidekick Krampus the Diamond Dog rides shotgun to punish naughty chicks.

I read about Krampus during my Santa-expy research and holy buttercups mythological figures used to be hardcore. Like, geeze. It's gonna give me nightmares and I'm the furthest thing from a naughty child.:rainbowhuh:

That just hides the symptoms by catching your tears before they fall of your face! And if you're going to do that, just do what AJ does and use a friend's tail instead. :ajsmug:

At some point, I really want to use the line "Applejack cries on the inside, but sometimes it leaks out."

Good old Dark Crystal, Jim Henson definitely had a dark side. I think they used Dark Crystal as inspiration for the Tirek issue of Fiendship is Magic.

Haven't read a single issue yet, I say with salty tears. How badly did Tirek's jostle this story? :trixieshiftright:

I was going to guess that if Corvus had an Equestrian name, it would be "Star Screamer" or something.

You're not wrong. :scootangel:

With what, innocent questions? Look, I'm no namist, I was as outraged as anyone when the Equestrian Treasurer was fired after only 2 days, just because his name was M. Bezzler.

And you thought Skyhook's and Snipe Hunt's parents hated them? :twilightangry2:

But the guy's name is Corvus, like a crow! They don't call a group of crows a "fair duel" of crows, do they, they call them a murder!

The guy's name is Corvus, yes, but he's also part of the Corvus tribe. Corvus Mellori Corvus. You can't call him out via name scheme without accusing an entire people group of being dastardly backstabbers!

Even if you're probably right.

Sorry about that, I've been watching Game of Thrones, my expectations on acceptable age to marry off a noble daughter for a political marriage are fairly low (in more ways than one).

:applejackunsure: I'm not saying it hasn't happened, I'm just saying EEEEEWWWWW. :twilightblush:

And that no, that's not gonna happen.

Sure, and if Corvus got his grubby little claws on the crown, I am sure that with the increased resources of the monarchy at his command, he would defend his title in duels even more fair and non-poisoned than he already has. :twilightoops:

Well, of course. As only befitting a reigning sovereign with access to innumerable resources with a penchant for scheming.

Every time you mention that work I bust a quick anticipatory move.

Every time I mention it I burst a blood vessel because I wanna write it so bad but it won't work right unless I finish DayBreak and I already have three ongoing stories and blaaaaaaaaa--!

Or maybe Gaston can step in.

Corvus, I'm afraid I've been thinking

Of getting a life, mm?

Low blow!
But that unicorn mare is a wonder
And her voice sets my heart all aglow!
You can keep all your magic princesses
You can take all of Felaccia
But Equestria holds my only desire
Miss Belle outshines the angels above!

I think we've found the only proper Gaston ship already.

He was never a cute griffon child, baby crows are pretty ugly.

Corvus once swore, and he was asked "Did you kiss your mother with that mouth?" He tearfully replied, "No!"

Someone's thinking up a fantastic villain song as we speak, isn't he? :pinkiehappy:

It would be remiss to dismiss. :rainbowkiss: At some point in time, anyhow.

Ouch, what about high-flying Equestrian airships? I'm guessing those ships have excellent SAMs then.

Flack plus dirigible envelope equals NNNNnnneeEEEEeerrRRRrrrrooOOOoooOOOom! Smash!

The only true Griffon King is King of the Ring!

H'and in this cornah, weighing in at redacted pounds, redacted ounces, Corona! Thah Gizzard Griller!

H'and in this cornah, weighing way too few pounds with way too little muscle mass, Corvus! Thah Ravenator!

Decent parents want their kids to have it better than they did. Great parents want their kids to be better than they were.

And the best do something about it? :twilightblush:

5997819

I read about Krampus during my Santa-expy research and holy buttercups mythological figures used to be hardcore. Like, geeze. It's gonna give me nightmares and I'm the furthest thing from a naughty child.:rainbowhuh:

Before the 20th Century, children's fiction was probably darker than adults, because scaring kids was the educational value. FiM written by the original Brothers Grimm would have Twilight relating a friendship lesson every week, and a list of bodyparts that had been chopped off as a punishment to her friends for not upholding good character.

At some point, I really want to use the line "Applejack cries on the inside, but sometimes it leaks out."

I think it's only Apple Bloom that makes it leak out, otherwise AJ can always hide her liquid pride.

How badly did Tirek's jostle this story? :trixieshiftright:

Unless it turns out Tirek works for Peachie Pie, not much, it was entirely set over 1,000 years ago.

You're not wrong. :scootangel:

One thing that Transformers does really well, and FiM has yet to really try, is some proper villain-on-villain conflict and intrigue. I suppose Chrysalis stabbing Sombra in the back is hard to shape into a lesson, but dang would I like to see that!

And you thought Skyhook's and Snipe Hunt's parents hated them? :twilightangry2:

HaHA! I generally figure ponies can change their names at their cutecenera, and ponies with terrible names picked them as angsty teens. That said, at least Snipe Hunt's name wasn't Accident (I hear that's actually a pretty common name in some parts of Equestria :raritywink:).

You can't call him out via name scheme without accusing an entire people group of being dastardly backstabbers!

I suppose that's fair, crows and ravens are pretty intelligent for birds, ravens can even talk like parrots, and they fight excellently in groups. I can definitely see crow-griffons prospering in Felaccia.

Every time I mention it I burst a blood vessel because I wanna write it so bad but it won't work right unless I finish DayBreak and I already have three ongoing stories and blaaaaaaaaa--!

Wooow woow woow, you got like 3 chainsaws and a flaming torch you're juggling right now, you don't need to add anything else to your stress levels my friend. You are already working on three great interconnected stories, there'll be time for rhyme.

I think we've found the only proper Gaston ship already.

You know this is going to culminate in a Dance Dance Revolution contest between Gaston the athlete and Button the Gamer, set to an all Sweetie-Belle sound track.

Corvus once swore, and he was asked "Did you kiss your mother with that mouth?" He tearfully replied, "No!"

I don't know if Griffons can kiss with beaks, but either way I don't blame Mamma Corvus.

H'and in this cornah, weighing in at redacted pounds, redacted ounces, Corona! Thah Gizzard Griller!
H'and in this cornah, weighing way too few pounds with way too little muscle mass, Corvus! Thah Ravenator!

I'd give Corona 3:1 odds, and that's accounting for the fact that she'll be woozy for some reason, and her blade might mysteriously break in half.

And the best do something about it? :twilightblush:

That works for me!

The Secret People? Oh noes. That sounds like...

The GOOD People!!!! Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!!!!!!!!:pinkiegasp:

I'm reading the stories in your series out of order and so far it hasn't impaired my comprehension of events. I loved the worldbuilding as usual, and Andeas shows a lot more depth. Aw, he's a big softy when it comes to his kids. And the story of Smart Cookie and Gregor (and Breezies) was fascinating.

Man, Tirek was a pretty huge problem back in the day. He did a lot of damage to the pre-Equestrian civilizations.

The father chuckled. He gave her a warm smile. “It’s hard to stay secret after tying up an alicorn and stapling her to the ground. I believe they thought defending their crops against giants was worth being out in the open.”

Heh. I'm not sure if I'd prefer this unnamed alicorn to be Celestia or Luna, both possibilities are fairly amusing.

Interesting how there are very much two different endings to this. A mostly happy ending for Gregar and Smart Cookie, and a much less happy adventure for their kid (and then subsequently for the griffons that assaulted him).

An aide set a series of blueprints by Andean’s left talon. He grasped the bulk of them and held the sheets before his eyes. They depicted the ironclad fleet—ships made not out of wood, but impervious metal. They were resistant to magic, sturdy against catapults, and unflinching against arrows. There was no other vessel in the world that could match them.

Yeah, that goes well right up until the point where they're highjacked, then they're a problem for everyone.

Well, now I have to favorite this, if only so that I can eventually come back and read all of those stories.

7031638

Well, now I have to favorite this, if only so that I can eventually come back and read all of those stories.

I hope you enjoy them! My personal favorites are Scootaloo Will Fly! and In the Absence of Sunset Shimmer, though they all have their fans and detractors. :twilightsmile:

I'm guessing it is simple forgetfulness, but the list of Heart's Promise stories in the authors note at the bottom of the chapter is not up to date.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

Okay, but where do I go to read the story about the breezies and the alicorn? :O

8860518
Sadly, that one only exists in the realm of imagination. I've mentioned details here and there, but never went writing out the entire thing... I thought I wrote something about it in Lord Mayor Applejack, but glancing through I can't find the quote. I might have just talked about it in the comments section.

So they're, like, my own personal Tolkien Appendices.

Long story short, the breezies went into hiding after their meeting with Gregor and Smart Cookie. As far as the world was concerned, the entire species vanished overnight, with no idea as to why. Years later, when Luna and Celestia were traveling the world searching for the Elements of Harmony, they happened upon a tiny portal into a shrunken world.

They made it no more than three steps inside when they were swarmed with tiny, angry bug-like ponies. The breezies tied them up, staked them to the ground, and set about discussing what to do with them. Celestia and Luna, having been taught several languages by Smart Cookie and Clover, were able to parse what they were saying and negotiate a release. Once the breezies realized the "giants" were not there to steal their food, they allowed the soon-to-be-princesses to be set free.

(Both Royal Sisters insist that only the other one was caught, but we know the truth!)

Soooo... It doesn't exactly meet the thousand-word requirement for a whole story, does it? :rainbowwild:

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

8863387
Oh, but it could :V

Login or register to comment