The only living Human in Equestria, Given Eternity by Harmony itself to fulfill a destiny of the future and a request. Betrayed by the very being he has fought and bled for, now finding his way back into the fold.
Harmony has deemed Balance, but can the Betrayed fulfill it, that...that is the question.
I do hope there will be more as I would like to see more as it was very good.
More please, more
I'm hooked into the story. Please continue
I might just continue this, I need a break from writing Walking in Shadows anyway!
Human? Anthro? You’ve piqued my interest.
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Anthro, they are bipedal but retain their fur, horns, wings and strength relevant to their Tribe.
Sorry, thought I went into enough detail to give that away.
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No worries. Read through it has potential but a bit all over the place. Random capitalizations, spelling errors.
I’d recommend an editor for future chapters.
I’d be willing to help a bit if needed.
Do keep it going just the same.
Gotta agree with everyone here is an interesting start I hope you write more.
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Yeah sorry, I do my best to self edit but Docs sometimes changes them. Once the next chapter is out I will go back and do editing again.
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Next chapter is already being written, the rate it’s going it’s looking to be at least double the word count.
So it IS continuing then?
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YUP!
The next chapter is just shy of 3,000 words atm!
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👍
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I am taking my time to write it, as it will be the introduction to many things that will be more important later on down the line.
If everything goes right (and I don’t re-break my toe for the third time) then I plan to have it out by the second week of June.
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Avoid those table legs brother.
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I only wish! I kicked a solid wood door frame
THEN a Restaurant Booth yesterday
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I seem to keep kicking chair wheels myself so you're not alone at least.
Need mooore
More pls
Yasss
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There will be more to come and I am glad you all are liking it
Very few grammar errors but not too bad. Just a very minor amount of editing needed but still a very good story. Hope to see more in the near future .
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Errors! Where!
if you can point them out, I will fix them when I can
Here are the items I noticed.
From Chapter 1:
This sounded weird but I think you meant “What a clusterfuck of a shitshow that started by…
… leaves back through the door…
… door and then through it and on my way…
… push to open it and step through.
I had only gone
… in place. Unable…
How?! How did..
She has spells to…
…treason and murder, among other charges. But I can say with full confidence that I DID NOT COMMIT THESE CRIMES! To those out there among the lines, you know this!
From Chapter 2:
…line of trees. I pick up my pace and…
I turn to my left to look at the stallion, only to get a hoof to the face. I staggered and slowly start to lose consciousness. Before I am completely gone, I can just make out the mare starting to berate the stallion and then… Darkness.
…later. Laying on a small cot…
…the stallion, who…
…wanted to apologize, then he can just buy me a cider (or five) down…
This one has small changes but you might want to look at it:
I stayed the night and took the offered meal. It was a good night of laughing and stories that I haven’t had in a long time and I relished in it. I shared some stories from my time in the Zebra Lands and of those who I met had befriended. While Pear bragged about her cooking and Bright regaled me with his strength. It wasn’t until very late into the night that we all called it quits and went to bed. I do not regret the lack of sleep that I got and I suspect that neither did they.
… soon refocused on the…
…me as the edge of the small village…
…view, while past…
… my destination.
… ground. The sheer amount of apple trees is…
… boggling. Stretching from…
…memories and proceed past…
…gate and start my walk to the farm house in the distance. A red…
… my left and a banjo playing from the…
Though call her Jacky at your own peril.
… but it soon turned into a song as the…
Their might be more but these are the only ones I decided to get since they had the errors I caught more of. Just so you know, I’m no editor but this was what I could tell and I’m hoping it’s able to help .
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Thank you! I will go over these tomorrow (err, today as it’s 2:30 in the morning for me) and fix them all!
It’s funny, I think Google Docs hates the word “Through” as even I have noticed it’s the word it most commonly corrects to “Though” and I can’t figure out WHY!
Well I WOULD like to know what Sunbutt's deal is with what she had done in banishing him for half a millennia.
I crave more.
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The next chapter is just about done, sorry my time to write as of late has been next to nothing >.<
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All will be revealed in time
what a great history , almost Made me cry , the fact that it is really cancelled