- Member Since 11th Apr, 2012
- offline last seen Sep 12th, 2023
Nonsanity
An off-again-on-again writer and father of a pony-fan. Incessant poking will make me write more/faster, by the way. (That's not sarcasm—I need reminders to write.)
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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nice little story. I can't imagine how difficult it must have been to keep this at around 1000 words.
3806552
It was a very simple idea that didn't need a lot of wordage to convey. I just wanted to explore how the different characters might see the same thing in a different... light. Of course, leaving out all narration and "she said" attributions helped a lot too. :)
Heh, magic of friendship or not, I think Discord's in for some strong words...
Reading this story was a pure pleasure. It's simple but... I don't know? Wise? Something like that. And what's more important its simplicity is a huge advantage over all those "supr-hiper-epic stories", because it's fun to read something like that. Thumbs up and fav.
Dude. Seriously? How can you be so awesome and carefree at the same time? It's honestly just a crime how your work isn't promoted more!
What Twilight did not mention was that this also served a second, darker purpose as a warning to strings of lights in the area in much the same way as the corpses of the condemned in gibbets served as a warning to other criminals...
My only real complaint is that not a single line of dialog has the speaker attached to it. I had to skip 90% of it too where there were two speakers I could guess to who were speaking (Celestia and Twilight).
Something that grammatically needs to be in a story with more than one being talking. At least till the speaking order is established.
8619334
Hi. :)
The lack of attributions to the dialog or other narrative cues was intentional in this short, experimental piece. The purpose was to write each section of dialog as distinctive to a particular character as possible so that their identity could be inferrred from the content. Each of the mane six—other than Twilight—separately voices their own thoughts and perceptions on the subject at hand: a tangled string of lights. It is only when Celestia enters that we get a two-way conversation which, after names are spoken to set the pattern, ping-pongs between the two characters. (Mostly... note that when a paragraph doesn’t end with a quote the next paragraph is the same speaker again.)
Think of the beginning as a short guessing game, if you will. Which character was which?
...said Nonsanity. ;)
8622035
Ah! And much like the lights. It way too quickly got into a tangled mess. Ruining immersion.
Still, I can respect artistic experimentation. Just way to immersion wrecking for me having to read, then re-read lines multiple times to guess who says what. Really murders the story for me personally.
8622321
I can understand if you were looking for an actual story that followed the typical attribution patterns. Normally I use them too, but not here. It just wouldn’t be the same with “said Pinkie...said Rainbow Dash...said Fluttershy” etc. it would lose its experimentalness. :)
Thanks for giving it a try, though! :)
8623828
True, and you're welcome.
I can say on a positive note though, that I did like the end. Twilight being able to see the gift for what it was, and using it as she did. It was a nice ending.
Surprising ending.
This is very short and sweet, and has a moral to go along with it and everything. I love it!