The Flim Flam brothers made a number of claims about the Miracle Curative Tonic, and even though one was brushed aside there is still one pony in Ponyville who's interested in adding a few years.
Just a one shot idea I had inspired by Leap of Faith
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Well, it's better than anything I could write over one lunchtime.
The biggest issue is that it feels rushed. I don't think it's enough to just state that he's ignored--you could have gotten a lot more mileage out of showing ponies ignore him, and then showing them listening to him.
Also, Applejack disapproves of this ending. (I suppose that ties into how rushed it is--is looking old really the simple solution, or will it create new problems that would extend the story?)
Also, there's a "meat for somebody old” that's probably supposed to be “meant for somebody old.”
4174833 All fair comments really. Your right, most of the issues is from the fact that it's a super short that I wanted to get done quickly. I could flesh this out into a longer story, but I suspect the idea would get a bit to strained for that. Mostly I just wanted to play around with the title statement and find an interesting take on it. That and it's oddly fun to write Flim and Flam.
Oh, and I got that error fixed, curse you homonyms! (not that this is one, but I still stand by my cursing).
A very solid little fic. It definitely feels a bit rushed and in spots it was hard to know who you were speaking about. This is a cute idea though I agree AJ would be very unimpressed with that ending it still kinda fits.
If it's not too impolite of me I'd suggest getting a hand or perhaps checking out some of the writing advice you can find all over fimfic or in EQD's editor's omnibus and maybe see about submitting it. I'd d my best to get it in.