Trixie Lulamoon, upon running away from all of the world that hurt her, comes across a young boy in the middle of the woods. Together, they travel together and have a marvelous adventure that will shape both of them.
Chapters (10)
- Member Since 16th Dec, 2016
- offline last seen Oct 6th, 2020
BG9
I write for 4chan and now I'm writing here. Joy.
BG9
Joined 16th Dec, 2016 ·
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Needs editing. It shifts tense here and there, at one point changes into second person, punctuation is missing, and there's a > on one line that shouldn't be there.
Storywise, kind of bland. It's not bad, but "Trixie as a societal pariah" stories have been written since season one and this one adds nothing new to that. In fact, I don't see why you're adding it beyond a cheap source of pathos. And wrecking her friendship with Starlight with just one line feels mean more than anything.
All in all, not bad, but not a story I find interesting either.
7800406
Yeahhhh sorry about that. Greentext really killed my writing ability. I'll go back and edit everything when I find the time to do it. So sorry if it sounds a little clunky. I'll get better the more practice I get with it.
The premise is a bit bland but just let the story play out. I guarantee you'll enjoy it or, at the very least, find some modicum of entertainment. This is more just something to get my feet wet and practice with novel writing again rather than greentext. Once I really get a good feel for it I'll move on to some of my more creative and better written stories that I've done.
I hope this story entertains you a bit!
I'll be watching... but this needs to decide whether it has a 2nd POV or 3rd POV... it's kinda confusing...
7801278
It's supposed to be third person. I originally wrote this in 2nd so it's kinda hard to get my mind to write it 3rd. I'll go back and edit it though! Sorry if it sounds a bit clunky at first. I promise once I really get into it it'll sound better.
Anything else though?
7801290 Other than that, no... like I said before, I will keep watching this...
... and then Trixie woke up, realizing that Leo (and their adventures) was non-existent...
...I regret nothing...
7804753
Oh pal. If you even knew what was about to come, you'd wish the feels were limited to that. I hope your heart is well armored, because it's about to get bumpy.
I remember this thread, good stuff. Although a complaint I have is how Twilight feels ludicrously aggressive. She may not like Trixie, but this is a bit over the top.
7806926
You were the for the Trixie thread when I wrote this? And yeah I know. I toned it back a lot in this rewrite because it was out of character for her. So sorry about that! But better stories are to come. I'm finally used to novel writing again so I'm going to start putting out my better work.
Shouldn't this have a human tag?
The Monk
"Knowledge is power and power corrupts, so study and be evil." - Reykan