Celestia stared at Black Sun from across her tea table. "At least remove that ridiculous hat."
Black Sun shook his head. "No way, Tia. I don't want ponies swarming some new alicorn."
Celestia let out a sigh before raising a teacup from its plate. "Dear, you've been here for the past month. You've also visited at least once a month for the past century. Surely you know by now that as soon as that door closes nopony will come in to disturb your little charade?"
Black Sun nodded, absently moving his own teacup to his lips. He then blanched and sat it down with a glare. Celestia had to stifle her giggle. She had long ago learned that Black Sun preferred coffee, and he always expected it to be around. In turn, he knew that she would never serve him coffee. He was still miffed about that. "Yeah, yeah, but I’d rather be safe. I like not being a pretty princess, thanks. I'll stick to being my dad's lab assistant and exploring old ruins. Way easier than dealing with ponies."
Celestia let out a short laugh. "You say that, but somehow a new artifact shop opened up in Canterlot run by a blue pegasus who refuses to say where he got them from."
Black Sun shrugged. "I can neither confirm nor deny that I opened up an artifact shop because Dad doesn't seem to know how money works."
Celestia raised an eyebrow. "Really? How does he get all his supplies, then?"
Black Sun laughed. "Nowadays? He sends me out with a sack of bits that has absolutely no relation to however much something costs. He gave me a hundred bits for a freaking apple. ONE! I mean, Dad can summon up skeletons, secure an ancient ruin, and then study the ancients arts within. Give him a sack of bits, though, and he just throws however many he wants at something. I swear he has no clue what bits even are."
Celestia let out a bark of laughter. The dark and evil necromancer, master of the darkest and most evil magics, couldn't balance his budget. She wiped the joy from her eyes. "By Faust, that's great. Anyways, what have you two been up to? Since you've started visiting, Ragar has thrown himself into his work."
Black Sun nodded. "Yeah, apparently he lost a ton of research time while he was making sure I would live a full life. But he's really gone in full force since I've been out and about more." He threw out a hoof. "Hell, I think he's died like four times in the last year alone."
Celestia spit out her tea. "HE DIED!?!"
Black Sun nodded. "Yeah, that's how I reacted the first time. I was freaking out until one of his skeletons sat me down and explained it to me. Turns out that as long as his phylactery stays in one piece, he can just pull himself back together. He was careful to make sure he didn’t die until I was, like, twenty, but he’s been taking a lot more risks lately."
Celestia was flabbergasted. She had called him a lich before, but never imagined he actually was one. By definition, a lich was someone who had sold their very soul to dark beings to attain immortality - but that couldn't be true. A being like that would quest for naught but death and destruction; Ragar appeared to quest for books, even occasionally coloring books for some reason. She shook her head; if anyone could find a way to become a lich without selling their soul, Ragar could. "Of course. Just another mystery to add to the man, then."
Black Sun let out a snort. "Please tell me you aren't still trying to figure him out. Dad's a riddle locked in an enigma. You’ve just gotta learn his rules and live with that."
Celestia perked up her ears. "Really? What rules does he have?"
Black Sun shrugged. "Well, they aren't exactly written down. The big one is that dad doesn't lie, but that doesn't mean he doesn’t deceive. I've seen him spin a tale that leads someone to the wrong conclusion, though he never tells anyone an outright lie. That's his line."
Celestia nodded. It certainly gave her a new way to look at what Ragar said. "Now that you mention it, I can see it. He surely has a way with words."
Black Sun let out a loud laugh. "A way with words. Riiiight. A way of being insane you mean. That crazy old coot livens up any conversation he blindly stumbles into." In the inevitable way of these things, the orb in the corner lit up and began singing. Celestia quickly answered it, and Ragar came into view.
"Hello. RAGAR, SKELETAL WIZARD OF INCOMPREHENSIBLE MAGIC wishes to check up on Black Sun." He was wearing his normal robe, though there were pink bunny slippers peeking out from the bottom.
Celestia smiled at him. "We were just enjoying a spot of tea. I believe Black Sun is heading out to some new adventure later, though."
Black Sun nodded. "Yeah, I'll be heading to that spot in the badlands. You know, near where you had to blow up that statue?"
Ragar reached out of sight and pulled out a mug, sipping it calmly. "Ah yes, the statue. Was that the one where Ragar was assaulted by the hole filled bug thing?"
Black Sun smirked. "Yes, and you screamed like a little girl and started throwing spells everywhere."
Celestia bit back a smile as Ragar kept up a calm facade. "Ragar would never send spells everywhere. A spell sent out to cover an area is much too draining with very little effect. Ragar will admit that he did not aim properly."
He took another small sip while Celestia struggled to keep herself under control. She refused to laugh at the feared necromancer. She absolutely refused. "Understandable, under the circumstances. So how are you getting along, Ragar?"
Ragar struck a heroic pose. "Ragar is beginning to implement his final plan. When Ragar is done, all of his work will pay dividends."
Celestia smiled softly at the absolutely ridiculous pose Ragar was in. "Of course. I'm sure all of Equestria will learn to fear your great and powerful evil."
Ragar stuttered as he fell from his stance. "Not as such, Celestia. Ragar's plan shall be a whisper in a crowded room. Unheard and unheeded. Ragar will be a shadow in the night. Like an owl, or a velociraptor."
Celestia raised an eyebrow and looked to Black Sun, who just shrugged. "Dad knows all sorts of weird creatures. He probably meant one of those."
Celestia nodded. "Of course he does." She turned back to Ragar. "Ragar, if you wouldn't mind, I have a proposition. You refuse to meet me here in Canterlot, and we can’t meet in your lair, but I would like to propose a meeting on neutral ground so that we may meet in person and talk with no fear of reprisal, attacks, or capture by the other."
Ragar nodded, a finger clacking against his teeth; Celestia found the action fascinating. He eventually nodded. "Yes, Ragar can see the upsides of this arrangement. An exchange of knowledge between two immortals is always useful. Ragar shall acquiesce to this request."
Celestia smiled, happy to finally get to meet the person behind this strange and wonderful adventure she'd been living for almost a millennia. "Excellent. Shall we agree to a split, then? I choose where, and you choose when?" Ragar nodded and Celestia continued. "I was thinking the small town of Murcurial. It is in the badlands, and should be a neutral city."
Ragar nodded and began to tap his teeth again. "That is an acceptable location. Ragar shall be there in one hundred and twenty years." Celestia stared at the creature in annoyance. She had hoped he would say a week or two. She quickly nodded, however. After all, what was a century to an immortal? She smiled at the lich. "Then we have an accord. I will be counting down the days until then." She would add it to the ongoing list alongside Luna's return. She smiled as the conversation continued; an evening talk between friends was just what she needed.
lol, 120 years.
love it!
120 years? that seems strangely specific. Celestia certainly seems in better spirits than she'd otherwise be, Ragar's shenanigans have been of immeasurable benefit in that regard. I can't wait to witness Twilight's freak-out when she learns that Celestia has been in amicable communication with a litch for the past 1000 years.
9007924
It's so he can give a formal invitation to Luna too.
oh ragar you clever basterd
Whelp. Chrysalis certainly had a bad day didn't she?
9007944
I really hope you carry this story to its deepest possible ends. Ragar and Black Sun and Celestia are all incredible in your characterization of them. I cannot WAIT for you to add Luna and Twilight Sparkle and the rest of the girls to the adventure. Considering Ragar's list of adventurers he prefers to challenge his lairs, that's 5 of the main 6 right there. One wonders where the sixth will fit in or if he will ask one of them to sit out.
Pinkie Pie. The ultimate WIIIILD CAAAARD!
9008067
I have the ending already planned. Also, it will be an M. Night Shamalammadingdong-tier twist. Because I feel like any other ending would disrespect Ragar. Don't worry though, it's not a zOMG he was evul all along ending. I played with that idea and found it wanting. Also, I know your icon is an elf but I imagine it as thanos every time.
9008102
While I will be sad to see this story end, I'm glad you're actually thinking about it, and not just throwing something unsatisfactory together. I'm also glad you're not just going to string it along until it gets stale. That would make me even more sad.
THE DOOR GUARDS!!! YOU FORGOT THE DOOR GUARDS!!!
9008191
If they were there every time they would get boring.
I've always liked subverting obvious tropes, in this case, the lich who's not only not evil, but perfectly civil and nice provided you in turn can display a modicum of politeness in return,
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Pinkie Pie will probably join him in his inner sanctum and provide color commentary on the adventure.
I hope that Black Sun is somehow related to Cadance - maybe father, grandfather, or foster father?
Ragar is the most adorable and precious of "bad guys" ever to be invented and I support him wholeheartedly. Easily the only complaint I could possibly have so far is that Black Sun is supposed to be light blue but his name makes me think he's black and it's bugging the tar out of me. This is a minor grievance against vast enjoyment, however.
CRAP AND I JUST REALIZED I CAUGHT UP! I mean it's probably for the best, I need to go to bed, but I need MORE! THIS IS A DELIGHT TO READ AND I LOOK FORWARD TO THE NEXT INSTALLMENT!
Ragar really values prep time I should imagine. I’d laugh if when the date comes the city is gone due to a non related ecological disaster.
9008102
Looking forward to it! Honestly one of the most unique Human in Equestria stories on the site and one of the best! And my icon of Prince Lotor of Planet Doom is quite close to both an elf and Thanos.
I know this won't happen since you said it yourself but I kinda want Ragnar to be all "I was evul all along"
Nice
Really? He can build all those parks and stuff, effortlessly stay hidden and yet can't manage his finances? Sounds like that should be the first thing you should know how to do when you don't want to be seen; Masters of Evil need resources, and need to know how to get them without being tracked.
Unless, you know, it actually turns out he has so much of the stuff he can actually afford to throw it away like that.
As always a delight to read keep it up and I hope you will do something with Sunset or Cadance when they show up.
Thank you for the chapter.
I can't wait for the main six plus Luna to enter the stage.
Twilight: Oh no, Luna and Celestia have been captured by an evil lich... need to rescue them!
i laugh so hard at this xD
I was thinking about what the future holds... I want to see Celestia introduce Filly Twilight to Ragar through the communicator now.
Statute... look upon my works ye mighty?
I bet he's actually spike. Or shining. Shining is nerdy enough to pull that one if he went back in time.
All I can imagine is twilight upon meeting ragar:
Twilight: AAAA ITS A LICH
Celestia: Hes my friend
Twilight: AAAA SHES BEEN BRAINWASHED!*shoots a laser*
Black Sun: Hey, no thats my dad
Twilight: AAAA A NEW ALICORN
9007944
How many other alicorns will show up to that meeting? I'd love to see Ragar dote on Flurry Heart...
💀" 'Fury Heart'? A wonderfully evil name for a child born of the cold, unfeeling North..."
"No Ragar it's...oh, nevermind..."
I imagine the meeting will be interesting. With all but Pinkie auto assuming that he is evil. Though Fluttershy might be too busy hiding behind the others to do anything unless angered and she tries the stare but that might just make him curious at how a Pegasus is able to use a compulsion spell via her eyes.
9009639
9008699
Or most likely, they will spend the time trying to outnerd eachother
9009639
Well at least once she goes fully catatonic she won't blow anyone's head off or banish them to the Friendship (is that a thing she can do?).
oh god this is so funny
oh my god this is glorious.
Honestly I wonder if Sunset finds out about him. I mean, she craves alicornhood and Ragar can turn ponies into alicorns so...
9014552
Yeah, but it didn't exactly go smoothly. It also seems like it depends on the personality, and from what we gathered, both Black Sun and Twilight didn't really care for being Alicorns much in the first place.
9015821
I don't think it is about the caring to be an Alicorn part. Ragar said he fixed the spell and woom baam cazaam he makes his son an alicorn! So it did sound like it didn't matter which pony. It also was never mentioned that were was a condition to the fixed version of the spell as well. And the dangerous surge they have with alicornhood can be remedied with knocking the pony out like Ragar did with Black Sun. So I do believe it is technically possible. If it is a good idea to give a power-hungry filly/young mare her alicorn wish is a different question altogether.
Did... Did she just say, 'By Faust'?
9018297
I knew she was the creator.... I was just remarking upon the fact that Celestia knew who she was, at least well enough to swear by her.
9019529
'THERE IS NO GAME.'
Шикарный фанфик!
9008480
He has undead as his builders, and probably just uses what's around to build.
9021400
Oh right. I forgot fiction-land doesn't operate by the same economic rules as ours. Especially when magic is involved.
9022268
Also he got bits from the theme parks in a semi-anonymous way. I believe I mentioned that. I'm not sure though. Either way he didn't really spend any until Black Sun showed up.
9022268
Not sure if Sarcasm or actual response..
Love it, love it, LOVE IT!
9024259
Highwayman. I'll be honest, the reason that's a bonus chapter is that I wrote it all to flush out Ragar's backstory and because I was an a music binge. I can only write this story when a new idea spirits me into it. I have a few key chapters pre-written, but keeping them in chronological order makes things a bit harder. But I'm almost done with the next one. : )
9023504
Errr. I was being fully serious.
9024344
Even if you weren't I still love you Eon, you've been reading and commenting since the beginning.
9024364
Thanks. It's very lucky I actually saw this story when I did. I could've missed it completely.