Running Off the Rails

by daOtterGuy

Destination

Beep. Beep. Beep.

Flash woke up and turned off his alarm for what might have been anywhere from the twentieth to hundredth time. He got out of bed, stretched out the kinks in his neck, and looked out the compartment window.

The train was still in the crystal tunnel.

He trotted to the compartment door, slid it open, and poked his head out into the hallway. He looked left and was greeted by a blank wooden wall. He looked right and found the metal door leading to the engine room.

He closed the door.

Flash trotted over to the en suite bathroom and looked into the mirror. The stallion that stared back was still the same as when he had started this whole business.

He could fix that.

He grabbed a brush, a razor, and his stash of mane gel from under the sink. In short order, he was clean-shaven, his fur rested in the right direction, and his mane was slicked back to its usual wavy form. He’d even taken time to preen his wings and admired how good they looked.

He hadn’t properly done any personal grooming like that in weeks.

Flash left the bathroom, went to the wardrobe, and grabbed his armour from the bottom shelf. He donned it, ensuring the straps fit comfortably, and returned to the bathroom to inspect his hoofwork once more in the mirror.

He took a moment to inspect the stallion that stared back at him. He was different. For the first time in what could have been months, Flash felt like he recognized himself.

He grinned.

He then left the train compartment for what would be the second last time.

---

Flash entered the cramped engine room. He still hated being there because of how cramped it was, but he found comfort in hearing the steady roaring of the furnace.

It meant the train was still moving.

He saw Next Track by the train controls. He was fiddling with the various levers and pulleys that Flash still couldn’t understand the purpose of despite the many loops he had spent trying to get them to work.

Flash trotted to the center of the room and sat down. He enjoyed a companionable silence as the conductor performed his duties.

“Are you ready to disembark?” Next Track announced.

“Are you the cause of the loop?” Flash asked.

“Does it matter if I was?”

“No, it doesn’t,” Flash replied, “But I am admittedly curious, nonetheless.”

Next Track stopped working with the controls and turned to face Flash. “Occasionally, somepony comes along carrying a lot of baggage with them.” Next Track closed his eyes and sighed. “It weighs them down because they think they need to bring everything with them when they only need the essentials. Admittedly, it is difficult to sort through luggage when you’re focused on simply reaching the next destination.” He opened his eyes and gave Flash a warm smile. “You may consider this place as a rest stop to unload unnecessary things.”

Flash nodded, content with the answer he was given. “I’m scared.” He felt himself shake. “Of what’s next. What if Point Guard is right and I can’t be happy without being in a relationship? What if I just end up alone?”

“I’m not going to waste my time telling you that everything will be okay. You’ll have low points like this in the future and it’s going to be just as terrible.” Flash felt tears form on his face. “But do you want to know a secret?”

Flash sniffled and nodded.

“Everypony is scared, Flash,” Next Track said, “But what’s important, what’s most important, is that you have to keep moving forward despite it because it’s the only way you’ll have the chance of finding happiness.”

Flash hung his head and covered himself with his wings as he fought back the sobs that threatened to break through. “It’s so hard, Next. I’m just me and I’ve already done everything wrong. I don’t think I can do it.”

“You got hurt, Flash. Badly.” Next Track placed a gentle hoof on Flash’s shoulder. “But you’ve learned. You found what you needed here. You might not think you can now, but trust me. You can.”

Flash lifted his head and stared back at Next Track. “How do you know?”

Next Track smiled. “Because you’re already moving forward, Flash. It might not feel like it yet, but you’re already moving toward your chance at happiness. You just need to embrace it.”

Flash took several ragged breaths and, when he felt ready, he stood up from the ground planting all four hooves firmly on the floor with his head held high.

He took a deep breath and with as much confidence as he could muster said, “I’m ready to disembark.”

Next Track gave a warm smile as the engine room became engulfed with white light. The sound of a shrill train whistle filled the air.

“Good,” Next Track said, “Find your happiness, Flash. Always keep moving forward.”

---

Flash woke up. He heard the shrill cry of the train whistle reverberate through the room.

A speaker crackled to life. “Ladies and Gentlecolts, we will be arriving shortly at the Crystal Empire. Please, remember to grab all personal belongings before disembarking.”

Flash rolled out of bed, stretched, and turned to look out the window.

Outside, sparkling in the morning sun, was the Crystal Empire and, at least to him, an endless expanse of possibilities.

Flash smiled.

He was ready.

Author's Note:

There will be an accompanying post mortem later today if anyone is interested in my thought process for this story.

Thank you all so much for reading.

Remember to keep moving forward.

Comments

[SockPuppet]

Enjoyed every minute of this. Thanks so much for publishing!

[Cerulean Blue]

Great story, really enjoyed it. Thank you indeed for publishing!

[Heavyhauler75622]

Well...

First...the nitpicks...
Arms should be forelegs...because ponies...
Tires should be wheels. Trains have no tires...

Now...the story.

Perfect...

Let me tell you why...

Because this is me. I lived this. For thirty years...

Everything was like this. And when I was finally used up, I was discarded...

You hit on all of it. The letters you write to yourself, believing that she was writing about you. The pain of it all. How you fool yourself, into believing things weren't what they were. I would've added a chapter in how your emotions whipsaw from, "If I would just do this," to "I'll get back at her," that. The slow, agonizing climb out of the hole.

How your personal luggage keeps falling on you...

All of it...is truth. And I hope the right people read this, and come to their senses before they end up in their own personal tunnel...

I hated mine, but I didn't realize or recognize it...not until I read this...

"I'm ready to disembark..."

Me, too, Flash...

Thank You...

And thanks to you, SockPuppet. I would have never found this without your encouragement...

[daOtterGuy]

10912473

You're welcome, and thank you very much for reading! I'm glad you found so much meaning in the story.

I truly hope you can find your happiness~!

Have a most excellent day.

[Heavyhauler75622]

10912486
Like you said...you have to keep working on you...

That's why I said you hit all the right spots...

Thanks.

[Emotion Nexus]

Hoo, where to start.

Might as well get a couple quick technical things out of the way.

Vibrato spit out the last word.

This should be spat.

“Yes, I haven’t played since.” Vibrato reached for a date. “before I was together with my ex husband.”

I saw a bit of this in Vibrato's chapter, but there's really weird wording in dialogue that mostly stems from the use of commas and periods. Could just be a nitpick, but I thought I'd point it out.

NOW. Let's get to the meat of this. This was an absolutely amazing train ride and I enjoyed every minute of it. Obviously, the story is about toxic relationships, and it even says that at one point, but it's amazing how well you show that without outright stating it before then. Twilight's name isn't even mentioned until the second-to-last chapter and you can feel the effect she had on Flash.

Speaking of, I really want to commend you on how well you characterized Flash. He's built from the start as someone who gets irritated easily and has some underlying issues that have yet to be resolved. Throughout the story, he feels like he's really growing, but it also feels like he isn't a complete idiot before that. You really make his problems genuine and you can really believe why he hasn't figured things out yet. Probably the biggest thing is that all of his problems aren't actually the most obvious detail. Something that isn't talked about too much is how Flash represses his emotions, and how being exposed to painful memories so vividly from ponies he doesn't know opens a wound. The only one this doesn't happen with is Point Guard, as she doesn't have the same problems as Flash and his pain with her has likely been dulled with time and their toxic relationship.

Another fun touch is the little metaphors in all the character names. Vibrato helps Flash to understand that he should have depth beyond just who he's dating, that his hobbies and the things he enjoys are valid. He realizes he has a voice and that it has Vibrato. Love Letter helps him to love himself and that you shouldn't hide your emotions. No shame in sending yourself a Love Letter. Point Guard is his obstacle, the one holding him back from moving on. Her constant teasing and controlling nature keeps him in her shadow, and she tries to demean him to keep him with her, to stop him from leaving. She's the Point Guard. Finally, Next Track helps him to move forward, not to ignore what happened, but push on in spite of that. He helps Flash to find a new destination or a Next Track.

Your characterization in general is amazing, but I want to pay specific attention to Love Letter and how he stands out from the rest. Rather than being bitter, he lies to himself. His tragedy is still happening. You can tell the difference between the things he actually believes and the things his marefriend had convinced him of.

I probably had more to say, but I've been writing this for so long that I've run out of talking point. This story is so thought provoking on real issues and it's just so good. Amazing characters, your descriptions of the world are top notch, and despite a few grammar hiccups, it all makes for an amazing experience that sucks you in. Bravo!

[Sledge115]

“Good,” Next Track said, “Find your happiness, Flash. Always keep moving forward.”

Wow.

This was beautiful, Otter. I'm quite speechless at this. It's, honest to God, such a bittersweet, honest look into how relationships can consume so much of us to the point that every piece of you is defined by it - which it shouldn't be.

Top notch writing from all around, I love how it was woven so intimately with Flash's thoughts.

Thank you for this.

[Shilic]

There's something about this story that gives me very specific vibes. It feels, to me, very much like one of those super emotional short indie games. First person, mostly walking and talking, pretty much no gameplay except for the core narrative... The story is even set up like it, each of the train cars being a specific challenge Flash has to overcome by repeatedly looping through ever changing conversation trees. The way Flash's side of the story is slowly revealed to the reader through his interactions with the ponies he meets even gives off that vibe.

I suppose something that adds to this is the train itself, and Next Track. Part of me wants to know how he pulled it off, what's going on behind the scenes, if it's the train that's magic or it's part of his cutie mark talent, if he's even a pony at all... but I know that's not at all what the story is about. It's a framing device, and in the end even Flash agrees it doesn't really matter why. But the train could host so many other passengers, other ponies going through time loops who have to learn to move forward. I suppose another question is if the other ponies in the train cars and what interactions they remember. I assume the final ones, though.

I'm not really good at getting emotional feeling from stories, I tend to focus more on plot, and I honestly don't know if I have that much to say about the emotional core of this story. I feel bad about that, that I have nothing to say on the main point and only comments on the parts that straight up do not matter... it's probably why I don't leave many comments.

And... I have no idea how to end, so.... uh... I give this story four crazy trains going of the rails out of five, and one regular train for good measure.

[The Sleepless Beholder]

“Does it matter if I was?”

Perfect response, and everything Next Track says next. Sounds casual enough to be passed as simple advice from a normal pony.

Also, I ship Love Letter and Vibrato. They both can be happy together.

[mushroompone]

DAMN!!

DUDE. What a great ending.

I was anticipating a short little epilogue to set up the next installment but you snuck in another brilliant twist!

Absolutely loved this fic. If I could fave it again, please know that I would - you did such great justice to Flash's character, gave him an emotional (and uncommon) character arc, and populated this whole thing with some really well-done OCs. I'm super impressed. Can't wait to read the next one!

[daOtterGuy]

11073129

Aw thanks Mush, super glad you liked it, fair warning Blooms is a very different beast!

And yes I had a lot of fun with the twists in this one. Glad they paid off :D ~!

[Finndelta12]

I would say something about how this is uncharacteristic of Twilight but much like the loop it’s more of a framing device. It doesn’t matter how much it’s in character as she just isn’t in the story. I liked this story a lot

[Jarvy Jared]

Hello, a review to your story has been posted. I hope you find it helpful.

[Rego]

I can see why you recommended this fic when I asked for your best. This is a phenomenal introspective piece. It plays so well with the typical Flash Sentry shortcomings given to us by the source material and expertly crafts it into a healing salve for the soul.

Thank you so much for sharing this. It was a great ride from beginning to end.

[n8dagr8088]

Next Track stopped working with the controls and turned to face Flash. “Occasionally, somepony comes along carrying a lot of baggage with them.” Next Track closed his eyes and sighed. “It weighs them down because they think they need to bring everything with them when they only need the essentials. Admittedly, it is difficult to sort through luggage when you’re focused on simply reaching the next destination.” He opened his eyes and gave Flash a warm smile. “You may consider this place as a rest stop to unload unnecessary things.”

it's nice to finally get an explanation fo the tartarus flash got put through. and one full of thematic train metaphors to boot!