There are many ways of pulling off the color red in the world of clothes design, and Rarity's way just so happens to be a nationwide trend. However, in such a harsh and tough industry, there are ponies who must pay the price, whether they are enemies or friends.
They knew what they were getting into when they offered to help.
And with the precious material they possess, there is not a chance in Tartarus Rarity is willing to let them go.
Written for the 2024 rendition of Nightmare Night in April. You can read other entries to the event here.
Chapters (1)
What the hell did I just read?
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A horror story. :3
Ugh, a bit ambiguous and...honestly not my cup of tea, simply because the story didn't evoke anything to me and didn't even try to explain certain things. Things just...happen, that's all. For example:
1 - It's not really obvious what Rarity is doing, just that she is using the blood of her friends?or their coats?, but it isn't really explained WHY. What makes this "new process" better than red dye or thread? How did she discover this?
2 - Rarity is talking with...somepony, I'm assuming Twilight, but it's not even implied if the mannequins are dead and Rarity is just insane, or they are actually alive and pleading with her. That's what I mean by "the story doesn't explain certain things", and this takes away from the story since we can't understand the characters.
3 - story sometimes comes out as lazy, again, because it fails to explain things. Everytime the mannequin asks something essential to the story, like "what happened to you?", "were we not generous enough?" Etc, Rarity dismisses the questions/dialogue. You can keep things ambiguous, sure, but not when it comes to the protagonist's motives.
4 - unlike the other points, this may be just a pet peeve, but aren't other ponies worried about the Elements of Harmony? Is Rarity keeping the special mannequins in a different place, or is she keeping the Boutique closed? In the story, she didn't want Derpy to see the mannequins so how is she keeping them hidden? If not, why?
Overall, a lacking story in my personal opinion. The premise is common, but the story's biggest downside is its ambiguity.
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I had tried to make things as clear as I could without making the story exceed 5k (explaining things in-depth, such as why Rarity is using the material she's using, is how my stories tend to go over that and I wanted practice in writing something shorter), but there will be some people who are confused by what's going on. Different strokes for different folks, as it goes.
Overall, the story is pretty linear, but it might be worth it to give it a prequel if people are echoing the same complaints.