A human with a sour temper, an immunity to magic and mischievously-sinister tendencies appears in Celestia's garden. His body suffers from a strange case of disproportionate deformity, and he displays a certain degree of genre savviness regarding the ponies' world. Using this knowledge, the human struggles to avoid "cliches" to the point of obsession. His attitude constantly pushes away the ponies and their attempts at friendship, while he intends to use the brightly-colored equines to gain a stranglehold on their economics. Combining cartoon-physics and manipulation, the human slowly rises to the occasion in order to swindle the wealthy, assert his presence, and dominate his environment.
Just how far into his quest for wealth, however, will the ponies let him get?
(A self-insert that is fully conscious of cliches, contains swearing and some mildly violent and offensive themes. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. So don't whine about it. Welcome to the internet.)
LEGAL STUFF
I own the artwork.
MLP:FiM belongs to Hasbro, Studio B, and Lauren Faust
Any references to media are purely used for entertainment purposes.
Hmm... I like it so far. Heh, feel sorry for him though. Not being able to wipe is just crappy.
Keep it up, and I'll keep an eye on you.
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2438257 Not just yet. I haven't even gotten through to the true main characters yet. Stick around. I'm sure you'll be pleasantly surprised.
2437917
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2437917images.encyclopediadramatica.se/4/47/You_win_the_prize.jpg
so wtf is a chibi?
ME
MOAR
STORY!
2438990 This.
2439000 s.spynet.ru/uploads/images/0/7/0/0/1/4/2011/03/04/7fd0d6.gif
argh. pet peeve: "OMG, I'm a cartoon! I have an outline and talk in word bubbles!" Don't. Please. Just DON'T.
2439658 Who said word bubbles? He's just stylized differently from the rest of the world. I'll clear that up in future chapters.
Wow it was the junior all along. You got me for now......
Not everyday u jump into Ponyland, while sitting in toilet. Good fic.
Please, hurry up with new chapter, can't wait for it.
2451089 Almost finished!
2446947 NO ONE EXPECTS IT! morgue.anglicansonline.org/080127/images/issueart/080127/SpanishInquisition.png
It took way too long for me to realize you're basically doing a crossover with South Park...
>wait 6 days for new chapter
>read it under 5 minutes
Sometimes my reading speed just disappoint me.
Little action we have here, but I want more insults, more mess with authority. But nobody cares.
2474034 More insults.
Sir yes sir.
i think shining will like our world i mean look at this...
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(i am not sexist, please dont hurt me.)
Go MONO
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Great chapter, sir. And I just **SECRET**. It was fun.
You give an idea - you keep it secret.
2477781 I think you just gave me an awesome idea.
LETS FO MONO.
reads chapter
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This is gettin good
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Time to Mono get dangerous and bitch slap all Princess.
I'm detecting a lot of hate for the princesses in general and twilight in particular. Any particular reason why? Or is this just another example of the innate pubescent need to hate on anything that one suspects other people like too much? Give us a REASON to dislike the object of the protagonist's hostility, or give us a reason the protagonist is such a dick.
And why the assumption that
1)Shining Armor is stupid and a coward ?(He went head on against SOMBRA, yet he let something small enough for him to STEP ON threaten his family and get away with it, come on)
2)The guards-- and therefore by extension most of the stallions in equestria-- are illiterate?
3)Equestria is a matriarchal society? They're ruled by two princesses... but Victorian England was ruled by a woman, and only a dunce would call that time a matriarchy. Yes, they're herd animals. It takes some industrial strength feminist reality reinterpretation to see a species where one male shtoinks a dozen females and conclude that it's the females that are in charge.
Pet peeve: No ontological / immortal inertia. Please tell me you're not going there. It's profoundly stupid, as much as the trope that has the dark land O' evil instantly sprout rainbows and flowers or the villain's castle collapse for no reason when he dies. Mono's magic-neutralizing aura might allow them to start aging again while in his presence, but they are still, physically, in their prime--- it shouldn't make them instantly age to death.
2488031
What a sane person gonna like princess after Twilicorn.
2488031 You guys must be psychic, because every time I read a comment it's as if the next chapter is purposefully written to explain the writer's question. What's strange is I write these chapters days in advance. Yes, all will be explained (why Mono is such a prick to the Princesses and Shining in general). As for Twilight, Mono is just attempting to get a rise out of the public and get them aggravated because he is taking his persona a bit far.
Eventually Mono will amend this, but he does not hold my personal views of the characters shown. Though I really don't like Celestia, just a personal opinion. As for the aging thing, that will also be addressed in future chapters. After all, such a concern is not a small one. Thanks for the observations, I assure you that all will come full circle. Continuity is one of my favorite challenges.
Thank you.
2488031 Oh, and Shining can read. He's not stupid, just a bit numb-skulled.
Hmm so he hates them because what. If watches the show why does he hate them a lot and want to overthrow them them. Funny he is planning to but why was it because of the toilet business.
2439165 oh hey! i have four alerts in the social section! (sorry, im new here; didnt see the alerts and didnt know to check them.) so thats how people are immediately replying to my comments!
anyway, thanks. that helps.
2439169
oh, well! that was fast!
and really really awesome!
keep the chapters rolling! this story is the funniest shit ive seen in a while, dont fuck it up for me...
i swear, every other word is a gale of laughter. keep it up!
so, mono just told twilight to stuff it. is this going to escalate into a war? mono's brains and anti-magic versus the royal crown? or is mono going to find his way to prison? god, that would be fun. i hope mono doesnt get a redemption after all this, something that makes him want to be friends with ponies and give up his irreverent attitude. NO. i want mono to be a dick to the bitter end! BEST STORY EVAR!
Um, in the middle, did some guard turn into a mare or something I'm confused?
Moar
2515190 Replacement guards, cuz all the males are in the suffrage movement. With the armor on, the enchantments make them all look the same.
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YOU AH NOW READING MONO'S DIALOGUE IN MAH VOICE.
TANK YEW.
VOTE FOR SHINING FOR PRINCE
plus
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so DO the sun and moon in Equestria move by themselves?
2526014 THAT'S FOR ME TO KNOW, AND YOU TO EVENTUALLY KNOW TOO. But nah, they're not. Mister Mysterious Mystery Mist created that version of the speech to trick Mono into becoming heavily interested, thus leaving his mental blocks open since he was interested. Once he was pulled in, MMMM attacked and threatened Mono.
So, hypothetically, Mono could halt the celestial bodies by casually leaning against one of the sisters.
i would give anything to know what the princesses were thinking when they walked in on the scene...
ah! i think i know who the man in the mist is! and why does mono keep hearing change drop?...
and id like to know exactly what the princesses were thinking when they looked and smiled at mono. what hold could they have over him? for tht matter, what hold could the man in the mist have over him? hes resistant to magic, no? any spells woven against him would go kaput. and dont tell me that the man in the mist wove a spell on mono that protects him from all magic. thats just contradictory.
DONT FUCK THIS UP!
now about the story: you take your time with it. you will release your chapters when you are good and ready to, and not a second sooner. too many times on fimfiction have i seen stories ruined because their authors felt rushed. you be sure to exploit every potential twist and turn of the plot that can arise from any given situation or event in the story. remember i told you not to fuck up? well, your story has a lot of potential behind it. things here can get pretty huge, pretty epic, and pretty awesome, pretty fast. so
ah, sorry. im beginning to get angry in the same way i got angry over Echo the Diamond Dog. you dont deserve the hit from my rage cannon.
yet.
just keep writing an awesome story, and forget our impatience.
...I'm at a loss as to how this is a cliche'?
2621416
Cartoonish super speed, like Pinkie Pie.
2621416 Characters with powers. Usually humans when they get to Equestria. This.
the coins dropping thing is driving me nuts! WHAT DOES IT MEAN! is it his consciousness? is that what the man in the mist meant?
oh, and its sunday. so...monday?