Too short for a fic… · 7:43pm Sep 7th, 2023

While goofing about on Estee’s discord server, the topic of Gilbert & Sullivan song parodies came up.

And, well, I had to.

I am the very model of a modern magic alicorn
Transformed by saving harmony, I grew some wings to match my horn
My strength enhanced accordingly, the element of Earth applied
Relieving all my friends who thought they’d lasered me and then I’d died
A friend of mine’s a Pegasus whose mane is a prismatic one
She advocates adventure and her mindset’s a dramatic one
With zero provocation she will shatter the sound barrier
And if you slow her down she’ll simply pick you up and carry you
The other flying friend I have is rather more retiring
When startled she retreats and tries to hide behind her mane and wings
Though beasts and monsters don’t provoke reactions so egregious
She’ll say that nature’s fascinating even when it’s eating us
The next one is a unicorn, the species that I used to be
By far the most elaborate pony ever introduced to me
A fashionista born and bred, a seamstress incomparable
And should you make her mane a mess, a nemesis most terrible
The apple pony’s next in line, her strength is mostly physical
Though common sense she has in spades, her education’s abysmal
For agriculture she’s the finest mind that one could ask about
But mention mathematics and she’s like to buck you in the snout
And wildest of all of them is number five, the party horse
Whose sanity can be compared to synonyms for intercourse
Reality is optional when she is in her element
Though rest and relaxation aren’t the kind of thing she represents
But from these mares my soul was forged into the form I now possess
A wingéd hornéd horse who fires magic from each orifice
And now I’m sovereign of the land, the Princess of the dusk and dawn
I am the very model of a modern magic alicorn