In Which I Beg for Sweet Release From Breaking Dawn: Chapter 23 -- Memories

We don’t get to see Bella and Jacob throw down, which might’ve been impressive. We don’t even get to see them get pulled apart. We cut to after the incident, where Edward and Seth have already intervened and stopped Bella, although Bella broke Seth’s arm. Edward praises her for keeping control over herself for as long as she did. Shut up with the amazing control part. I don’t care if it’s true, I’m tired of hearing it. Bella tries to calm herself down from her spat by thinking over some of the things that happened while she was turning, which she was told while Seth’s arm was getting splinted.

The main thing was the end of the feud with Sam’s pack — which was why the others felt safe to come and go as they pleased again. The truce was stronger than ever. Or more binding, depending on your viewpoint, I imagined. Binding, because the most absolute of all the pack’s laws was that no wolf ever kill the object of another wolf’s imprinting. The pain of such a thing would be intolerable for the whole pack.

First: well. Isn’t that convenient. There just happens to be a law like that and Sam’s pack just happens to be a-okay with the little half-vampire running around. Which means all the pack drama in Jacob’s chapters was for nothing. At the very least, the truce shouldn’t be “stronger than ever”; something like, “Sam wasn’t happy, but pack law was pack law. They wouldn’t bother us again, no matter how much they wanted to.” Second: I can see that as an intra-pack law, where all the wolves would share in the pain of the one who lost their imprinted, but Jacob isn’t part of Sam’s pack anymore. He doesn’t share their thoughts. If Sam’s wolves killed Nessie, they wouldn’t feel his pain. There is no reason for this law between two packs.

We also learn that Sam can’t get mad over Bella’s vampirizing because Jacob allowed it as Alpha — convenient, considering he’s been an Alpha for a week at most while Sam’s been Alpha for about a year, I’m guessing — and Jacob and Sam, as Alphas, can communicate in wolf form, but the thought exchange is controlled, not involuntary — also convenient. Bella still doesn’t have much of a plan for letting Charlie know beyond “let him see me, let him draw his own assumptions”. She claims she’ll miss him, and I don’t buy it for one second.

She thinks about Jacob, about the way she acted towards him last chapter and the way she behaved when she was still human.

But it didn’t feel like how I’d wanted it. Not exactly. I remembered further back, to the fuzzy, weak memories of my human life. Back to the very hardest part to remember — the time without Edward, a time so dark I’d tried to bury it in my head.

Oh Luna even when thinking about Jacob she can’t stop thinking about Edward! CM + 1. And the “thoughtfulness” doesn’t even go anywhere; it just kind of peters out after a while.

Nessie is measured, since she’s still growing quickly, although the rate is slowing. Bella realizes that, if the rate stays the same, her life will be a lot shorter than a human’s and she’ll die “young”. I want to be ecstatic that Bella finally doesn’t get what she wants, but given all the convenience above, it’ll probably be “solved”. Also: missed musing on enjoying something while you can, because it won’t last forever. One of my original stories had a romance between a mortal and a near-immortal, and after trying and discarding various ways to make the mortal immortal or vice-versa, I decided to have them accept the heartbreak that would come and make the beauty of transient things part of their relationship.

Bella holds Nessie for a little while after the measurement and is shown the not-quite-fight from Nessie’s point of view.

I tasted a new flavor to the memory — not exactly protective, more possessive — as she watched Jacob. I got the distinct impression that she was glad Seth had put himself in front of my spring. She didn’t want Jacob hurt. He was hers.

Holy shit.

Holy fuck.

THIS LITTLE MONSTER IS A FEW DAYS OLD AND SHE ALREADY THINKS OF JACOB AS A THING THAT BELONGS TO HER AND THAT OTHER PEOPLE SHOULD SUFFER SO HE DOESN’T HAVE TO. KILL IT WITH FIRE, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD. THERE GOES ANOTHER MULTIPLIER ON THE CLINGINESS METER.

Bella flinches a little when she smells blood through Nessie’s memories, but keeps herself under control. Carlisle and Edward wonder if the inability of newborns to control themselves is really a thing; perhaps it happens because it’s automatically assumed, or perhaps Bella’s self-control is her vampiric gift.

For one thing, at least I had a gift. It could have been nothing.

But, much more than that, if Edward was right, then I could skip over the part I’d feared the most.

What if I didn’t have to be a newborn? Not in the crazed killing-machine sense, anyway.

Well. Isn’t that convenient.

The rest of the day passes uneventfully and Nessie falls asleep when night falls. Convenient. Then, in the middle of the night, Alice rushes into the room, grinning from ear to ear: it’s Bella’s birthday.

Clinginess Meter: 47 x 5

Chapters Left: 16

Fuck Nessie. Fuck her perfection, fuck her clinginess towards Jacob, fuck her existence. At least Flurry Heart caused the kinds of problems babies can cause.

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Comments

[goldfencer]

We don’t get to see Bella and Jacob throw down, which might’ve been impressive. We don’t even get to see them get pulled apart.

Let’s look back for a moment. Bella’s unconscious when the Cullens rescue her from James. She’s off in some random cave with her two cardboard cutouts when there’s A SUPERNATURAL THROWDOWN BETWEEN WEREWOLVES AND AN ARMY OF NEWLY TURNED SUPER-VAMPIRES happening off-screen. And then there’s this bit. Ugh.

[FanOfMostEverything]

Carlisle and Edward wonder if the inability of newborns to control themselves is really a thing;

Because it's not like there was an army of blood-crazed newborn vampires or anything.

Bella's gift isn't self-control. That would imply she had any when she was human. Her gift is subconscious reality warping. The universe bends over backwards to accommodate Bella, just like everyone who fell into her gravitational pull before.

And is it any wonder that the spawn of Clingy and Clingier already views someone as a possession?

[Rambling Writer]

4900845
Just wait until the ending of this book. You will rage EVEN WORSE.

[Bugsydor]

4900845
I've said it before, and I'll probably say it again, but Stephanie Meyer is a master of wasting any and all perfectly interesting plot threads that accidentally crop up. Her efficiency at identifying and then eliminating any such scenes boggles the mind...

[Eroraf86]

I'd take Flurry Heart over Nessie any day. Flurry is adorable and comically overpowered and ACTS LIKE A CHILD.

Bella's gift isn't self-control. That would imply she had any when she was human. Her gift is subconscious reality warping. The universe bends over backwards to accommodate Bella, just like everyone who fell into her gravitational pull before.

I'm pretty sure I read a HiE fic like that once. That, and it somewhat reminds me of Shadow Wars Pinkie Pie.