When the young PI, Ryan Black is on the case, it stays priority one until it’s done. That is, unless he starts noticing changes to his body like mysteriously-appearing tattoos on his legs and a new hair colour. But, his latest case is simply too important to drop. For the sake of the girl that has been taken, and her family, he can’t stop now.
A Five Score-verse story. Contains coarse language. Reader discretion is advised.
Special thanks to vonsnootingham and Tensemasterhalo for helping me out!
Chapters (7)
This is a well written and EXPERTLY edited story.
Well done.
Oh, another side-fic... Must be short and half-assed and-
7000+ words.
Already a great review.
Eeh... Maybe tomorrow.
*Read Later*
Thanks for the vote of confidence there. Hope it doesn't dissappoint. 2789429
I think this is the first time I've seen Discord's events described in such a bloodthirsty manner in the four score universe.
Damn me and my procrastination. Was going to suggest that you spell her name "Portia," as I've never seen or heard of "Porsche" being used for a girl's first name, but I've seen the soundalike spelling that I just mentioned frequently. Rich folks migt give their kids odd names sometimes, but Porsche is a little over the top, IMO.
Looking forward to where this goes...
. . . This title reminds me of a little video.
Porsche is a legitimate name, I have known girls with that name before. Just for your knowledge, 2789648
2790015
Are you certain they spelled it that way?
I knew it was a legitimate spelling, but always thought it to be a germanic lsst name
I must apologize; apparently the transition from google docs to this wasn't smooth as hoped and several paragraphs got dropped.
2790056>>2790015
I've seen and known both ways. And, if I used the anglocised version, I'm sure more people would miss the pronoucation.
I am so enjoying this so far
2789429
Well, I may have given it a good review so quickly because I MAAAAY have been a pre-reader/editor on the story.
Either "today" or "currently" needs to go.
The first "me" must go, and I suggest swapping "above" with "on top of".
Consider:
Or something similar.
2794872 Thank you.
What is the color of night?
...
Also, regarding Jack: WELL, I WASN'T GONNA SLEEP TONIGHT ANYWAY ; Sure as HELL not gonna do so now. D:
2794882
Well, the feeling I'm trying to get about Jack, the Kidnappers and Porsche is the latter three are swimming with a great white. I don't know if it's coming though, but it's what I'm aiming for.
2794899 Mission. Fucking. Achieved. ....And the Great White is particularly unstable
2794902
Huzzah!
Nice. Plot summary. I'm adding this to my long reading list. Fave for a promising story.
Just a bit confused on the second part of this chapter.
Maybe it'll be explained in the next chapter?
This guy reminds me of the sane part of Krieg the Psycho from BL2 with the psycho's logic.
Other than that, need more story please.
Awesome story so far. I really liked how you had porsche almost escape only to have Jack waiting for her. Speaking of Jack, I don't think ive seen a creepier villain. Ryan definitely reminds me of Harry Dresden from the Dresden files except, you know, without the magic and vampires and faeries and stuff
Just a few little errors I saw lime some words missing or words that didn't need to be there, but all in all very cool story. Liked and faved
2879553
Having never read the Desden Files, I felt I was borrowing more from the Republic of Doyle for Ryan
2879641 Ahh now that I looked up the description of it yes that does seem to fit better. I've never heard of Republic of Doyle being from the States and all but I may have to give it a watch sometime
2879676
It's fantastic.
Somebody should just write a story at this point that is all ponies ever are replaced with humans.
2918585
Heh. It's not my universe, though I thought it had potential for a lot of story telling.
Pegasus on a military ship, eh? :3 I do believe I've been reading that story, hehehe. :P
Awesome, he's a NIGHTSTEED. Luna's personal guard RAWK.
2919380 Ah. You should bring back Nip and Tuck, by the by. Or update on your super hero comic.
Awesome story so far. I almost never see any stories with Night ponies (that's what I call them anyways). But I did see a lot of small errors, like a word missing or the dialog sounding a little funky, nothing major though. Do you have an editor or proofreader?
2919527 Not on this last chapter; I wrote it in pretty much one sitting because I had a day off while sick. I more wanted to get something posted more than anything. If there's issues, feel free to yell and shame me.
2919547 You wrote this in like half a day and did it while being sick?!
Well, under those circumstances there can be no shaming you. Hope you're better now and not looking like this
2919704 Yeah. Now that I've stepped away from the Skyrim for a bit, I hope to get some writing done.
2919509
You read his comics? You should join the Forum. I help run it, so if you do join up, just let me know what username you chose and I'll approve the account.
As I understand it, he's retired most of his comics in favor of more writing, but totq and qqsr will be continuing...
Awesome chapter
2921883 I've been reading them since he first started writing them, really. God, it's been more than a decade.
this single nugget of literary
goldplatinum made a simple interest in the story into a full on obsessionplease for the sake of everything sacred WRITE MOAR!
2937675 Thank you. The next chapter is going to be very Jack focused to make up for the lack of him on 3
ah shit.
this situation's only gonna get worse for a bit...
Wow
3053063
Wow?
3053067
Just my reaction to the chapter is all,I didn't mean it in a bad way.
3053081 Oh good. The psychotic singing that song sort of inspired this whole experiement, actually.
Another fine chapter. Why was I not already watching this? The guy who writes this and the guy who edits it must be super cool, uncommonly good looking dudes.
3053389
Good
titaniumteddybear.net/wp-content/uploads/2010/11/hot-fuzz-shit-got-real.jpg
I find myself thinking that Vantage shouldn't have lost his taste for meat, on account of his fangs.
also wondering when the self control that presumably went along with his darker urges will kick in...
glad you're back. I missed this story.
3446613
Has fangs, but eats fruit rather than meat. Has large eyes that are very sensitive to light. Hmmm...
So Vantage is a thestrel?, or a batpony?, or a night guard?, they don't really have an official name do they?