Fine's life is far from easy. He doesn't know what his next meal will be or where he'll be sleeping on any given night. Then there's the gruesome murders. He never wanted to be what he is, but he tries to take life one kill at a time. Some day he might even be able to put the weapon down for good.
Having it taken from him by a homeless foal is not what he had in mind.
Fine has discovered a filly who stands at a precipice. With one wrong step, she could lead the same kind of life he does. Fine will do anything to keep her from walking that path. He knows what it's like to be a monster. He has a chance to do the right thing, and he won't let it slip through his hooves.
My thanks to Cerulean Voice for taking time out of his busy schedule to edit this.
The No Heroes Series
Chronological from Top to Bottom:
Shadow Pony
Reddux the Tyrant
No Heroes Part I - The Roster
No Heroes Part II - The Journey Home
Lightning's Bolt
No Heroes Part III - For Dreams
No Heroes Part IV - The Crystal Empress
No Heroes: Beyond the Everfree
No Heroes: Life of Pie
No Heroes: Hot Chocolate at the Isekai
To My Uncle
The Fleur-Verse
Chronologically from Top to Bottom:
Shadow Pony
Reddux the Tyrant
No Heroes Part I - The Roster
No Heroes Part II - The Journey Home
Lightning's Bolt
The Weed
The Challenge of Fleur
Ordinary World
A Challenge for Fleur
Sweet to Eat: Tales of Nightmare Night
Just noticed that Sweet Treat's name changed there for a moment before going back.
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Oops. My bad.
"nver" should be never in the short description.
Oh Paul, stop pulling at my heartstrings, you awful person. This is very fitting backstory for Lightning's Bolt, and I'm happy with what you've done here ^^ I'm surprised you managed to write all of this with your job and all- try not to overwork yourself, though. Your works are awesome, but I wouldn't want you stressing out too much over all this ;-;
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Oops. One little mistake...
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Fixed. Thanks for pointing it out!
6261217
Actually, the rough draft was done before I got the job. That should give you an idea of how long this thing was in development hell waiting for an editor...
Anywho, glad you enjoyed it!
When I'd first read this story in Lightning's Bolt I'd thought it was mostly made up, thanks to Verity's knack for storytelling, but looks like I was pretty wrong. Amazing work as usual, Paul.
Great job, this OC is very well developed. I'll have to read those others at some point.
Also, people here apparently like murder more than implied rape. Weird.
The Feels were very much real in this one.
I enjoyed it, another awesome story.
A thoroughly enjoyable story in all regards. Fast paced and well written.
With one sentence you jerk at my heartstrings, and with another, you remind me of the warm coppery scent of the freshly dead.
Given the choice between a monstrous hero, or a heroic monster, I believe I will always choose the latter.
King Lear-Act 1, scene 2, page five:
" when we are sick in fortune—often the surfeit of our own behavior—we make guilty of our disasters the sun, the moon, and the stars, as if we were villains by necessity,"
I would suggest that Fine Crime is guilty of the opposite, as he looked around for a reason or an excuse for him to do right by poor Sunflower. Even if it is by our own compulsion, there are times that we all must needs be heroes by necessity.
On another note, was the zebra intended to be a ponifed Baba Yaga when Trixie was slated to be the filly? Just curious.
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Glad to hear it! But no, I made Baba Groot's name on the fly. It was supposed to mean something, but to be perfectly honest I forgot what the meaning was. It's not easy to look up, I can assure you.
wish I could offer a more poetic response after all that, but I got nothin'. Brain's not firing on all two-and-a-half cylinders today.
Loved it. Very nice. Question where does this fall chronologically in your story timeline?
You sir gain a like and favorite. Great story, and as Mister E said i to would pick a heroic monster. i loved the last message Fine gave Sunflower, it was a great wrap-up for a great story. Well Done
Here is your review from the Pleasant Comment and Review Group. Hope you enjoy. Any questions, feel free to Pm me.
god damn, how many sequels are there? I started with "life of pie", and ended with this story. wow.
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Oh, I've got a lot, and it gets even bigger if you branch out into the Fleur-verse. And I'm not done, either; assuming I keep writing on pone stuff for the forseeable future, I've got at least three more stories in the No Heroes universe to do after I finish Life of Pie.
8143673 Wow...just wow...
Talk about savage
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Thank you! I'd given up hope that anyone would ever comment on that little scene.
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I laughed for a good while after reading that... I couldn't stop thinking about it for the rest of the story.
Wow, touching.
So descriptive, I almost feel like I'm right there next to the fire or hiding in the bush.
She certainly is unique, in the way that it's a good view into the life of a true street urchin, or whatever they're called.
It's a believable story, and she plays the parts well.
A good heart in a good place.
Let's see what happens when a zebra's stripes turn red.
What a heartwarming story. Cool that everything worked out in the end.
... and the good ending just got better~
I have just discovered this series of yours, and am quite interested. It seems worth the read.
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Here’s hoping you can get through the stories! Some of them consist of my earliest works on the site and are thus... rough. But glad you’ve discovered it, regardless.
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Oh, believe me, I understand. I intend for all of my stories to be extremely long, I'll probs be in my forties before any of them actually end. And my writing has drastically improved since I started writing them, but I believe they are worth reading.
And I fully intend to get through this series since it has interested me, at some point.
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Honestly, I had the same reaction
Pretty sure even Winter won't soothe that burn
After reading Lightning's Bolt, this ending had me crying even more as I thought of that ending.
Honestly I had an underlying feeling things were going to go to shit. I knew they wouldn't. But LB had me wondering how sad or how long you intended to make this, even as I already knew the word count.
This story is brilliant; I made the mistake of reading the first chapter without context to Fine's character, which left me... Deeply disturbed, that is, until I stopped, went back in time and read all 4 No Heroes in sequence.
That made this ending all the more delightful, because I too am curious as to how a zebra looks like on the inside.
That pathetic international smuggler deserved what was coming to him.
It was also poetic how you began the story with a murder and ended with another.
I swear, aside from Maybe No Heroes 1 (the first half and a few things you could have done better later on) and 2 (I'll say but I still liked it, I feel like it needs some love and second chances), I feel safe to say you'll be hard pressed to find me not liking a story of yours, though I will comment when something is bugging me, you have my full attention. In fact I am terrified of tragedy because it's just not my color; even so I caught myself wanting to read Twilight's inferno, because I like your writing that much.
That's it I'm done spoiling you. My current headache is probably making me repeat myself as well. I hope the praise I give you know - for all of it is true - will translate into your will to write. See it as an incentive.
P.S.: it delights me to say that Fine Crime was Archon material way before he was recruited. You did that really well.
Now on to the Prologue! Or whatever those 800 words are supposed to be, I just hope it doesn't make me cry more
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I appreciate everything you say, praise or not, and I'm looking forward to further commentary!
And yes, Twilight's Inferno gets rough. Gradually. But do bear in mind that it is part of the Trixie vs. Equestria alternate timeline of No Heroes, so things won't align with what you've already read in the No Heroes universe. Also, Trixie vs. Equestria and Twilight's Inferno may be take place one after the other, but I wrote them so as to be independent; you can read either without the other and still get a full experience. Or at least that was the intention.
As strange as this was to read without context until I got to your AN, I like it so far.
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Hoofington Rises?
I swear, these ponies are going to be the death of me.
Argh
poor Sunflower.
I hope that
Zebra gets what's coming to him.
Edit: happy tears for Sunflower finding her forever home. I might not necessarily like Fine Crime, what he does and represents, but 🦂☠🗡🌩if that Zebra didn't deserve it, granted he might have had some terrible background, but he chose his path and didn't seem one bit apologetic about it.