Just a common PhD student who trawls the Internet each day to find terrible, TERRIBLE things.
This story is a sequel to Stare Master - Extended Cut
Investigating the history of a mysterious magical accident, Twilight Sparkle journeys to the free port of Innsbeak. Getting information out of the locals proves more dangerous than she’d expected, and her new traveling companion has an agenda of her own.
The Season 1 episode “Griffon the Brush-Off” rewritten as adventure and intrigue.
Co-written with Serketry.
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REALLY good job on the start to the latest story in your series. Greatly enjoyed the work that went into the exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up. Really appreciated the flashback explaining what Twilight was investigating that brought her into the Everfree in the first place. I can also understand how frustrated Twilight is about getting denied her request WITHOUT a good reason provided, even if the reason had to be kept top secret for some reason that will likely be revealed later. And, yeah, the stuff about Luna's strength getting reduced like that .... Brrrr. And, yeah, the bit about making the realization concerning Celestia's line about "Equestrian law" certainly has Twilight making some sort of attempt at looking for a grasping-at-straws loophole to continue her investigation. Well, we'll see where it leads, but even with her friends and the guards backing her up, I've got a bad feeling about this. Of course, I'm still interested enough to hope for the best while fearing for the worst.
Definitely looking forward to more of this.
No amount of bureaucratic burying can thwart Twilight Sparkle and Spoke, it seems. I'm slightly surprised she hasn't gone to Luna or the Archimage about the possible connection to Radio, though I guess the link is too tenuous at the moment.
The startup was dense but it was pretty entertaining to see snippets of research and conspiracy references. Can't wait for some real adventure now though!
... Wow. If some disaster released a plume of new material onto Earth, well, Chernobyl comes to mind. To assume something that biology and evolution has never encountered before would be benign if introduced to the body is the kind of magical thinking that only appears in children's cartoons. Well done. This was a great start to this episode; I do so love conspiracy thrillers.
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10969292
Well, if it was an entire form of matter never encountered terrestrially before, there are pretty good odds that the stuff would actually not be harmful so long as it wasn't, like, burning hot or freezing cold or had dust with sharp edges or whatever. Poisons are usually poisonous because they look enough like essential nutrients to be taken into the body and gum up its works. But in this case, yeah. The fact that "radion" lingers inside of living things is... ominous. Although, then again, Equestria has roughly a 1930s sort of technology level currently going on in a lot of places, and that was when people were being sold medicinal radium water and meth was being passed around for first-class airline passengers as a complementary pick-me-up. So it's not necessarily cartoon logic...
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This was in fact VERY NEARLY the chapter title, but Serketry thought it was too wordy and impenetrable.
I wonder if there's a Demon Core involved.
10969477
Damn, that's another good potential chapter title.
Thanks very much for getting the next chapter up. Again, really good job on the exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up in all the right places. And, yeah, you do make some excellent points in the author's notes. Anyway, really enjoyed the descriptions of the length of the trip as well as the preparations and the bits of the cultural differences. Also really liked Rainbow and Gilda's catching up before they, Twilight and Rarity got on to the adventure.
Very certainly looking forward to more of this.
I can't wait to see what Gilda's up to. That you're going to have her be more prominent in the EC excites me.
What was the point of Gilda's theft, I wonder? She sounded like she had work, legal or not, and making a huge scene seemed pretty counterproductive to hanging out with Dash. I guess she never outgrew being a thug? But how do you make a habit of that kind of crime and not get good at avoiding consequences, which she did NOT seem to be doing there.
The Homestuck references are pretty funny, and I can't wait to see pony/griffon Innsmouth. That kind of place I imagine translates really weirdly to a magic setting. You can get up to some more heinous and creepy stuff, but the characters would also have a way higher tolerance for weirdness in general. Still, if the reference extends that far the whole knowledge=dangerous/bad/insanity-causing is an interesting problem to present Twilight.
Dash seems to know about Twilight's connections, and Twilight I recall had considered digging into her past to end whatever barrier was on her career before being distracted. I guess that's waiting on a later episode to focus on it (was the best young fliers thing season 1?), but it seems weird Dash hasn't asked or even hinted about being unhappy with her career status to Twilight.
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Glad someone got the refrance. As for the theft, well, we have the entire rest of the story to explore Gilda's headspace.
As for the RD/Twilight thing, we actually have an upcoming AN to lay out the structure of the Equestrian military, but long story short, Twilight asking, say, Shining Armor to help RD out wouldn't go very far, because he's part of the Royal Guard, not the Army or Navy. The Wonderbolts, being based off the Blue Angels, are a subset of the Navy.
10973097
What indeed?
Sorry to disappoint you, but the name was actually derived from Innsbruck, Austria. Pony Innsmouth is mentioned in Friendship is Magic: Extended Cut as Bittsmouth. That's not to say that Innsbeak isn't heinous and creepy, of course; nor that Twilight will not eventually have to confront "the whole knowledge=dangerous/bad/insanity-causing" problem, but that's a ways off.
What Serketry said, although the Wonderbolts are part of the EUP Special Forces, not the Navy.
I understand why the griffons are mostly poor and criminal given the shoddy state of Griffonstone in the show but it usually saddens me to see it in stories since I always thought Gilda has a nice design.
Also the strong implication that Celestia set things up to take out a potentially bad ruler is neat, she would be a manipulator like that in the Extended Cut.
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For what it's worth, Gilda doesn't seem all that enthused about the situation, either.
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Gilda's not exactly a good griffon either and definitely seems to have her own issues going on but given how the show originally went I do have hope for her in the EC,
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Yeah, as I said in the author's note, in the original episode I really thought she didn't deserve the treatment she got from most of Ponyville. It'll take a while (like, multiple seasons, actually), but she (and griffonkind in general) are eventually going to get their day in the sun.
10974831
Oh that pleases me greatly to hear that and I hope Trixie gets similar treatment in Boast Busters EC since she did nothing wrong in that episode (except take advantage of Snips and Snails hero worship)
Hey there. Thanks very much for getting the next chapter up. Again, really good job on the exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up. Yeah, I can understand why most of the griffons are crooks (makes me amazed how Gabby turned out as well as she did [She'd definitely be a prime candidate for the Elements of either Generosity {stopping to help somebody else even when she was in a hurry to get out of town} or Laughter {managing to maintain a positive attitude even with all the garbage she got put through} if Rarity and Pinkie didn't already do such good jobs with those roles], but that's a couple of years down the road), but I AM glad that things WILL eventually change for the better for them (even if it will take quite a while). Of course, if you think about it, most Griffons have most of the basic abilities of a rookie Alicorn (they can fly like a Pegasus, they have comparable strength to an Earth pony and, while they don't have telekinesis like the unicorns, they DO have claws with opposable digits, so that's two-and-a-half-thirds of the starting abilities of an Alicorn), so a Griffon COULD learn how to do a lot of they had the heart and work ethic to keep trying. But I digress.
Anyway, definitely did a great job on the bits of added backstory, as well as Rarity and Twilight's frustrations concerning their experience with griffons thus far. Also enjoyed Twilight's recall of her earlier (admittedly limited) experience with travelling outside Equestria (at least for the time being; she will get A LOT more travelling experience in the years to come, possibly even into other universes if you count future dealings with Sunset Shimmer).
VERY certainly looking forward to more of this.
10974893
Well, it's not a total mystery how Gabby ended up how she did. She's in this chapter, after all.
10974924
Yeah. Good catch. I admit that I skimmed the chapter and missed that. Still, thanks for pointing that out.
10974760
Her unhappiness with the poverty and poorly fed servants is a point in her favor, at least.
Berk is such a great word. I have to use it more often.
Twilight's offer makes sense if she were utterly desperate to meet this guy, but why is she willing to spend such a huge sum on what currently seems like just a MEETING with a lead? I guess she's remembering her luck with the Luna Bay Fragment? Or she hopes to recoup much of the cost by selling it to Gordon as the pretext for meeting him.
The dinner in general was just such a great scene. Awkward and kind of stilted dialogue between near-strangers and characters who are so uncomfortable.
I can't imagine the cube isn't somehow rigged, unless this guy is severely underestimating Twilight.
10975394
On all counts: Hehehehe...
Twilight should've went with Gilda and Rainbow's plan. In and out, nice and easy. Would've been a fun heist too! Of course that might have opened up more complications than what they did do.
We got to see all three ponies show their skills this chapter, nice!
Pretty funny watching all the other characters getting caught up with fun heist/scam ideas while Twilight is having none of it until she releases what an enormous scumbag the guy is. I wonder what pissed her off more; the blatant mob boss stuff or the artifact puzzle being ruined.
Now I'm kind of confused about the skull though. I thought he had mentioned in passing that Gordon wanted it, and Twilight seized on the chance to use it to meet, but now it seems like Gordon is actively negotiating for it, and there's clearly something magical about it (explaining Gordon's interest at least).
And he seems to have admitted Gordon will be present at this party; why do they need or care about the skull then? He wants them to pay for an introduction but surely that's hard to prevent without force. Why would Gordon attack Twilight just for trying to talk to him; is he THAT hostile to outsiders?
A magic duel would be pretty cool, though!
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In short, yes, he is that paranoid. We've seen, so far, that whatever happened 79 years ago spooked the Equestrian government enough to bury it deep, with enough weight to pressure Celestia herself into silence. We've also seen that Celestia is more than willing to remove troublesome obstacles, as evidenced by the very skull Gordon was attempting to purchase. And in trots Dr. Twilight Sparkle, of Academy fame, personal protégé of Exarch Celestia, and sister to Commander Shining Armor. Alarm bells are ringing.
Excellent job on this latest chapter. Definitely appreciated the work that went into the exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up, naturally. Especially enjoyed Gilda and Rainbow's stealth run as well as Rarity's bit with Lord Goldstone (though I have to wonder if she managed to trick him or if HE tricked HER into thinking she tricked him [with these espionage-type stories, it could easily go either way]) as well also appreciated Twilight finding out just how serious Gordon is about wanting that artifact.
VERY certainly looking forward to more of this.
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Twilight Sparkle, international assassin!
Ironically it's all the others who are gung-ho to be spies and con artists. Twilight just wants that sweet, sweet science. Though in canon Twilight does end up being a guided cruise missile Celestia points at threats to the nation.
The best thing about wanting to do a full on heist story is that it doesn't have to involve Twilight and her friends as the heisters. You could easily get some of the minor antagonists from the show to come together for a big score.
That said, that conversation about Equestria and it's military interventions, oof. Some two-bit merchant gets in trouble for a brawl and what passes for the law in the area is the one punished for doing their duty. Nasty.
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Eeyup. For better or for worse, Equestria lives and breathes Big Stick diplomacy. It's little wonder they have no official alliances with any other foreign power.
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And while Twilight would absolutely balk at being called an assassin, or a cruise missile (she's clearly more of a smart bomb), there is a spy about, if you can spot her.
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Could it be that beige pony Gilda noticed briefly?
All I can say is great job on the exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up in all the right places. Definitely appreciate all of the detail going into making the getting of the amulet and the skull go as well as possible in addition to the reason Goldstone and his goons haven't tried to either kick them out of the country or kill them yet. And, yeah, Twilight actually gave a good reason for why Equestria doesn't just invade (I would say they learned SOMETHING from the American military going into certain places expecting easy victories but getting a VERY dragged out war that ate up precious years, but I very seriously doubt they have extensive access to Earth history). And, yeah, given Twi usually doesn't resort to violence without a VERY good reason, I absolutely shudder to think about how much somebody would have to cheese her off for her to actually attempt (however unsuccessfully) to teleport somebody's head off the rest of their body. And, yeah, could definitely understand why Twi would be so frustrated with the griffons concerning their lack of organization concerning the library (though the nods to later in the series concerning friends a certain male Griffon is going to make years down the road are definitely appreciated). Too bad Gilda got busted. That puts a damper on the plans, but that's to be expected in a story like this. After all, it would be pretty boring if things went TOO smoothly. In addition, once more, the point outs you made in the author's notes are well done.
VERY definitely looking forward to more of this.
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It's not the first time we've seen her, in this story, is all I'll say.
Damn, poor Gilda. She's just one big bundle of issues.
I mean, I get her argument, but Twilight's right that it's really not good enough to justify how stupid she's being. I would suspect some ulterior motive but I can't really see an angle that makes sense.
Did they check she didn't walk off with their fake amulet?
Very little I can say that other reviewers haven't already said better, but still. I appreciate the work that went into the exchanges, characterizations and future chapter set-up. Definitely understood Twilight's frustration when she found out exactly WHY Gilda got arrested as well as Gilda getting so ticked at being VERY overcharged. But the argument about Rainbow's weapons before they did find out was rather good too as was Twilight's using of that "silence spell" she learned in order to keep any of the griffons from hearing her berating Gilda. And, both Rainbow and Gilda had good points concerning their argument concerning the seriousness of the current situation and the stuff they got up to when they were younger.
Indeed, certainly looking forward to more of this.
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Given the summary of the story I'm wondering if perhaps Gilda is working for whatever passes as the griffons intelligence agency though I have no clear idea what their end goal would be except perhaps trying to nail Goldstone or revealing something to cause discontent in Equestria.
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Oh, you think the griffons are able to put together an intelligence agency. How cute.
10981613
It's possible! Even if it's just some thugs coercing information out of other griffons.
10981613
My apologies, you'll have to forgive the Admiral's hippocentric biases. While greed isn't exactly our wheelhouse, it is this scout's opinion that griffons' inherent duplicity and personal pride allows them to be easily manipulated, affording us ample disposable assets.
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Actually, yeah, that does sound like the sort of thing that Goldstone would put together...
Damn, she was just about to make it out of there too. But I have to wonder what she wants with the skull...
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Heh, that's a good question; ostensibly the whole point of getting the skull was to lure Gordon out of his paranoid shell, in order to allow Twilight to talk to him. Well, that's kind of not possible at the moment. But hey, Gilda said this whole gig was supposed to prove she can get things done, and she won't let anything stand in her way, logic be damned.
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Perhaps but she also sort of just ruined things even more between herself and the others! I can't imagine what her end goal is here.
10983412
Honestly? Basic sunk-cost fallacy. She's dug herself in this deep, might as well keep shoveling.
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While that's the likely case I'd like to think that there's something else going on, if only because I really like Gilda.
The Homestuck references continue to deliver.
Also I notice that both of Gilda's altercations seemed almost intentionally surrounding her with law enforcement. Is she trying to dodge an assassin maybe? Or perhaps being ordered by someone else to cause distractions. She's certainly being very distracting right now, and boy do a lot of characters think it would be just swell if Goldstone dropped dead right now.
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I just realized Gilda started this after hearing the story of Goldstone's grandfather being assassinated from imprisoning a small time merchant for rowdiness. Twilight, Rarity, and Rainbow are far more important so if something happened to them the Equestrian response would be even greater.
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You know, you nailed it in one. That's why Goldstone hasn't really tried to bother Twilight and her friends, so far, even after they crashed his little interrogation session. While Defense Minister Wind Rider, who does not get along with Twilight, would probably quash any attempts to rescue her, Guard Commander Shining Armor would not. Hence why Goldstone has been generally unobtrusive. After all, walking away is free.
Wew, it's really fascinating how you construct your world. I do think it's monumentally naive for dr inkwell to think that any secret wouldn't see the light of day eventually. Especially when the exarch is actively trying to expose it to her most favored student. I also think that secrets generally have this terrible habit of coming back to bite you and the longer their kept the harder they bite.
Then again this is also a fantasy world. Which means that much of .y opinions are informed by modernity in general and we can see quite a few case studies in how secrets tend to undermine trust and encourage corruption which may not even apply in this world. Which actually in of itself is an interesting point to consider on a meta level.
As per the usual you make an excellent story that's deeply engaging, and while it doesn't exactly line up with my interpretation of equestria(personally I put their technology closer to 1750s-1830s at the latest generally, rather then the post world War 1 era that you tend to display here.), the world building is pretty well thought through and I commend you for it.
So when are we gonna see your conspiracy web keeping track of all the stuff you hint at in EC