In the narrow alleys of Canterlot, Twilight, a dreamy orphan, grows up hidden in the shadows of the mighty Sun Empress Celestia. Through a series of surprising events, Twilight suddenly finds herself in the role of Celestia's personal apprentice. However, with this new position also come strange dreams that haunt her at night, and the monarch's behavior towards her becomes increasingly enigmatic and atypical.
Twilight's life takes a dramatic turn when she looks behind Celestia's carefully maintained facade. While rummaging through forbidden archives, she discovers censored documents that not only reveal the truth about her past but also Celestia's secret plans for the fate of the world. Caught between loyalty to Celestia and the urge to find her own identity, Twilight must decide how far she is willing to go to uncover the truth and avert the impending doom.
Every lover of a strong and clever Twilight will get their money's worth here. There are some very dark, but also very sweet scenes.
I appreciate any help, feedback, and criticism.
Why does the cover art have a small red square in it?
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Oh, that's a null object, that shouldn't be visible at all, but only served as a help for me when creating it. Thank you for pointing it out to me, I will remove it right away.
If you need help with cover art might I suggest checking out Art For Fanfiction and their Commissions area to find artists and see styles and prices.
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Thank you, did not know that there is such a group here. Then I'll look for a suitable artist and in the course of the year to update the cover art. ^^
Great beginning, hope to see next chapter. Good job
wow, i literally started crying.......
It is known when there may be an update?
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good job
Wow that was unexpected after being away for so long.
Ooo
O ooo ooooo
Live
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Glad to see you are happy
Can you at least tell us if it will have a good ending or bad one?
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Where would the fun be?
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You monster!
Well written. I'm going to give this one a follow.
I guess there was a different story here. I'm confused
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Same story, just rewritten a bit and one chapter taken down because it's being rewritten.
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It has neither a drama nor a tragedy tag. Assuming Bluntie did tag his story properly, that's your answer right there
Oh this is intriguing
This is interesting, I thought I came across this story in the past during late 2023 sometime during December or early 2024 during January, yet it says the chapter was released in February 2024, was it re-uploaded? I haven't bothered reading the story since I saw the prologue and was like "nope, I can sense bad stuff happening here, I'm out" but then after reading 800+ stories across the site, I became bored, and so decided to finally read this story that I came across more than around 20 times.
Also if this story has a bad ending I'm gonna be upset, it's already bad enough Twilight dies in the first chapter, and the worst bit is that it leaves off with a cliffhanger indicating that all the following chapters will be in the past instead of the present or future.
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I recently rewrote the prologue and am currently rewriting the first chapter. Yes, you're right, it continues in the past. In fact, Twilight is the protagonist of this story and the prologue is set chronologically at the end of the story (the rest of the story is chronological). The story will have other tragic and dark parts, but is overall lighter in tone. This is not a tragedy. And I promise the ending is not as dark as you might think
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Well one thing that does catch my attention however is that this story in the Allicorn section of the group "Badass Twilight = Total Domination".
I also found it in the "Allicorn Twilight" group.
With this knowledge, I'm very, VERY curious on what is going to happen throughout this story.
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Although I did change a few things after the revision. I'll have to check whether the groups and folders still apply. 
But yes, the total domination group and the alicorn group are justified.
Yes, the groups spoil the plot a little.
Twilight is going to Celestia's school for gifted unicorns, is she?
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Also does Twilight become an Alicorn before or after she dies. (Assuming she gets reserected or something after she dies from the first chapter because I highly doubt the story ends with Twilight dying, and if it does, well, that's horrible writing.)
Also how come whenever there's a story where Twilight is an orphan she gets bullied? There is one story where Celestia adopts Twilight after she took the exam and hatched the dragon and it mentions Twilight got bullied, only difference was someone was actually defending her which was one of the workers at the orphanage.
Actually now that I think about it, this might be the only other story where Twilight gets bullied at an orphanage.
Most stories doesn't go into much detail about what happened at the orphanage with Twilight.
In fact all stories actually start off with Twilight being in an orphanage for 1 chapter and than she instantly gets adopted around age 5-12.
Oh yeah, I also checked "Twilight of the Royal Family" group and the chances of Twilight getting adopted by Celestia is low, either the Author hasn't added there story to the group or it doesn't happen.
So if she does get adopted, I am absolutely unsure who it is. But I'll keep checking for hints on what the plot of this story is about.
To be honest this is kinda fun finding out what's going to happen to the story before it actually happens. Of course I'm not gonna spoil it for anyone else, unless of course people want me to. (With spoilers of course)
Oh and another thing, I'm also glad your keeping the chapters under 2000 words, makes me motivated to read more because I don't like to read stories where Twilight dies with each chapter being an infuriating 10,000 words each. It's also the reason why im trying to figure out if Twilight does become an Alicorn and if Twilight does in fact gets revived because Twilight is my favorite fictional character not just from the show but from the entire Internet therefore I don't like knowing that Twilight is going to die to begin with.
Also great chapter.
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Yes Twilight is on her way to Celestia's school... I don't think I'm spoiling anything for anyone by admitting this now.
Whether Twilight becomes an alicorn before or after her death you'll probably only see in the course of the story. I'm already annoyed that everyone knows she's going to be an alicorn because I put the story in the group...
You have to let me make a few revelations.
I must briefly mention that the orphanage and Silver play a role in more than just the first chapter.
I won't tell you yet whether Twilight will be adopted and by whom.
But I don't think I even knew about the "Twilight of the Royal Family" group... so...
And make up as many theories as you like. I like to do that when I read other people's stories.
And Twilight is also my favorite character. One of the reasons why I write a story with her as the main character. It can happen that the chapters get a bit longer in the future, I usually try to set the chapter boundaries sensibly so that they fit the narrative.
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Oh I'll make a ton of theories, I make theories for alot of incomplete stories like these, especially ones that are interesting.
Though I do have one quastion, does this story take place in a Alt universe or a different timeline? For example did everything from the show happen up to the point where Twilight was born? Because it mentioned Twilight was in the orphanage for 6 years and her age is 6 which either means her parents died or they abandoned her and just put her in an orphanage.
But I'm also curious if Shining Armor or Cadance exists, if they don't exist than that means this story takes place in a Alt universe.
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different universe fits better. Shining Armor and Cadance exist, but are slightly different from the ones in the show. Cadance is not an alicorn and Shining is not related to Twilight.
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Hmm
Either means Shining Armor was born in a different family or Twilight's parents aren't Nightlight and Twilight Velvet which could explain why she looks different in the story cover. Although cutie mark is still the same so I'm going to guess everything at the exam plays out the same.
Wait.... Twilight dies at 18. Twilight's cutie mark is the element of magic. If she's 18 and is the element of magic and is dead than that means.... Who's going to stop Nightmare Moon? Or discord? WAIT A MINUTE! Unless they don't exist? Or maybe they don't come back at around the time they do in the show, unless Twilight wasn't born 18 years before the Summer Sun Celebration and was born before than.
Well at this point I'm never going to run out of theories, well until the story ends but I doubt that will be anytime soon. I think I just got myself more motivated to read this story!
Though I do have theories how Twilight dies in the first place and where she died, but not enough evidence to know I atleast have a 70% chance of being correct, so I won't say anything yet.
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Some of the things you mentioned in the comment are actually important details, even if I won't tell you why or which ones exactly.
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Oh I do know something else that may or may not make you just as upset as me knowing Twilight becoming an Alicorn.
I've noticed that in the "Badass Twilight = Total Domination" group, your story is under the sections "good," "pissed," and "evil". I actually just found this out after posting my last reply.
With this information I'm going to guess Twilight does not become the personal student of Celestia and if it does things are not going to be all that great.
Oh and I also saw the story under the section "Misguided/Redemption" which probably confirms some of my earlier theories I haven't said earlier but I'm still not over 70% sure.
But with this information I'm going to guess something happens later on in the story (most likely the next couple of chapters) that causes Twilight to become "evil" but eventually "good". And my theory is that it probably starts at the exam of Celestia's school for gifted unicorns, if it hasn't happened already with whatever happens in the next chapter.
To be honest I am not that excited for the next chapter, mainly because I kinda already know what's going to be happening in a bad way, probably some bullying. Hopefully the other chapters are better but if my theories are correct, well.. Twilight is going to have a horrible life, worst than her life at the orphanage.
Although I don't see why Celestia wouldn't take Twilight as her student, considering if her cutie mark is the element of magic, Celestia would be desperate getting her sister back and Twilight's cutie mark would already seal the destiny that Twilight is in fact going to be bearing the element of magic and would be the only one of 6 who could bring Luna back.
Plus if the 6 pointed starburst has the 5 white smaller stars surrounding it, that also means her destiny is with the other element bearer's.
The more I'm typing, the less I'm unsure if my theory is correct because now that I think about it there would be no absolute reason why Celestia wouldn't take Twilight as her student if her cutie mark was the element of magic.
Which would mean something doesn't happen until later on in the story.... Hmmm. Damn, now I'm confused. The only explanation I could think of is either 1.) Twilight does not get her cutie mark at the exam but later in time or 2.) Twilight does become the student of Celestia but certain events Happen in time causing her to be "evil". But I don't know how that would be possible since being the student of Princess Celestia would basically be the best thing to happen to her. Unless it's Celestia herself that's the problem...
Wait, if this story is in other groups besides groups feature Twilight, I wonder what would happen if I searched other groups that doesn't involve Twilight. More research!
(Edit: I didn't find anything) I'm starting to wish you could see every group a story is in, it would make me so happy and my life so much easier just to find out what happens in this story.
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I have to admit, the "evil" folder doesn't fit at all anymore (as I said, I've revised the story a lot). But good and pissed still fit very well.
You're right, the next chapters will be a bit darker. Chapter 3 will be a bit more exciting. Chapter 4 then becomes the entrance exam, which in this story consists of several parts.
I don't think Twilight's life will be quite as bad as you imagine, but a peaceful life looks different. You might want to read the description of the story again. I also revised and adapted it today.
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Oh...
That actually explains a lot, and now I see the first chapter in a different light. And with this information I think I might have found out where Twilight has died.
99% sure that its at Canterlot, 80% sure that its within the castle, 75% sure it's within the dungeons. And Celestia might have something to do with her death or something else entirely.
Also does these strange dreams involve Nightmares Moon since I just saw her being added to the tags?
Also is her biological mother Nightmare Moon/Luna?
Also with chapter 3 being exciting, I'm probably not gonna read chapter 2 until chapter 3 comes out. But knowing me I'm probably gonna read it anyways.
Curse my over curious brain.
Well twilight has it rough in this au, very curious about how we get from here to the prologue
Somehow I got this weird feeling that in the end either she didn't die or died but got better 🤔
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Well if you know as much as I do, you would probably think that is the case.
In fact the more I find out about this story, which groups this story is in and the sections in those groups, the more I believe this to be the case.
I'm gonna go with second option.
Also for the Author, when is next chapter? Because I'm a little worried. And considering that it was said the next chapter would be released the day after the last chapter was released, I have a lot of patience, which is good because I would probably be a little upset.
That's probably an understatement.
Any update on the next chapter?
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Everything is slightly delayed. I've been ill for a week now and haven't really gotten around to writing. The next chapter is finished, but because it is closely related to chapter 3, I really wanted to have both finished before I publish (otherwise I might change chapter 2 afterwards and that would be a shame). But don't worry, I'm sure I'll be able to finish it this week.
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Well, it all depends. If she survives then either by her own failsafe or by a quirk of being an Alicorn (e.g. in case of death, simply manifest a new body, regenerate, etc.)
11886634
Alright, also you should keep everyone updated posting blog posts, that's kinda why they are there. Lots of Authors don't and then people who have been reading the story wonder when the next chapter to the story is going to be added.
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Now this one I'm completely unsure, but I would have to go with the second option slightly more as it would be more likely.
However there are other options, It could be simple resurrection. Maybe someone else saves her? Or she somehow saves herself.
Also if she did make a failsafe, I'm pretty sure that's just overkill as it would mean she just invented immortality. Not like I would be complaining.
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So I was looking for romance stories between Twilight and Luna and went to the "TwiLuna" group and decided to go to the "Mother and Daughter" folder and IMAGINE MY SURPRISE when I saw this story in the folder!!!
I KNEW IT!!
That cover art is amazing.
.... Wow this is just sad.
That's worst.
If I was in Twilight's situation I would go, however if there is cake I would stay the hell away from it, and also try to stay away from Silver as much as possible just in case if he is planning something bad.
My guess is that when Twilight goes to her surprise party and when she least suspects it, Silver will humiliate Twilight as much as possible in front of everyone.
Well that's BS.
Trust me, take it from someone who was bullied constantly during school and picked on in middle school, they don't just apologize out of nowhere, this is definitely a setup.
Oh second thought, this already would be my worst nightmare, I would be afraid of everyone's attention on me just the same as Fluttershy.
I would run 5 feet away as soon I open the present.
Run.
Oh, that's worst.
Ok what the actual fuck! WHAT KIND OF ORPHANAGE IS THIS!?
Goal: Make everyone hate Silver
Goal: Torture Twilight as much as possible in her young life.
I'm pretty sure Twilight is going to gain PTSD and severe trauma from this. I can see it now, after Celestia takes Twilight as a student and when it's Twilight's birthday, Celestia throws a surprise party for her but Twilight avoids it as much as possible.
Bullying is a huge understatement for what just happened, the doll being destroyed, that's called bullying.
Cutting someone with a knife, that's called torture and should get SILVER PUT IN PRISON! Not even being grounded would be a suitable punishment, in fact it could even lead to permanent injuries or attempted murder if he cuts in the wrong place or loses too much blood.
Author's idea from my POV: Instead of Twilight becoming an Alicorn by learning friendship and saving Equestria countless times, she's going to become an Alicorn Through pain and suffering until the day she. Dies.
Than what? She gets reserected? What happens after that? PLEASE TELL ME IT GETS BETTER!!
I can't wait when Twilight enters the entrance exam and I hope she never goes back to that orphanage again. Knowing what happens in the Prologue will happen later in the story doesn't help my mind at all.
Though, technically Twilight died in the show when she became an Alicorn, those elements blasted her. I'm gonna guess that when Twilight dies, she accended.
Some stories kinda came up with the same idea, Twilight dies and then she becomes more powerful. There was this one story where Twilight dies fighting Chrysalis and then becomes an Alicorn and gives Chrysalis and the Changelings enough love and then I guess they form an Alliance and Twilight becomes Queen of the Changelings along with Chrysalis.
There's another story which is basically an Alternate universe where Twilight dies fighting Chrysalis, Cozy Glow, and Tyrek resulting her to accend from an Alicorn into a Seraphicorn and becomes a literal god than Cozy Glow surrenders and Twilight turns Chrysalis and Tyrek into stone.
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That's pretty accurate
Ok... Now I feel like a bad writer. Is it that obvious? Oh man the story is one big cliché. This will also be the moment when Celestia asks Twilight about her scar. (She has a permanent scar from that “accident”).
Yes, originally there was supposed to be a scene at the end where the matron discovers the whole thing. Twilight would have been bandaged up in a makeshift way and Silver would have gotten a much too lax punishment because he would have sold it as an accident. I might add the scene.
Yes, it is getting better. Don't get me wrong, at some point it does get worse, but at least after she's by Celestia's side, it gets better for a while. I don't intend to let Twilight suffer through the whole story. There will just be a few sweet chapters.
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It's nice that you like it.
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Pretend I didn't say anything, I love drama and would love if you added it into the story.
I guess it wouldn't be to surprising that Twilight got a scar, I cut myself back in 2021 and it left a scar that is still noticable to this day, almost 3 years. The way it describes how Twilight got cut sounds like the cut was very deep and I would probably be more surprised if it didn't leave a scar.
I feel like that would be way more realistic.
That's a relief to hear, I love the types of stories where Celestia acts like a caring and kind mother figure towards Twilight. Those are my favorite types of stories. Although I am curious how long that's gonna last due to the description and the Prologue.
Also I do have 1 quastion that I hope the awnser doesn't spoil anything in the story because I would like an awnser; how valuable was that doll of Twilight's? Because I don't think that was just some random doll.
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Thanks for the feedback, I'll add the scene. So don't be surprised if the chapter gets a bit longer in the next few days. There will probably also be a blog post about it.
Me too. I generally like reading stories where Twilight has a close connection with Celestia amd/or Luna... not that that plays a big role. I generally see comments from you quite often under stories I read.
It is complicated. I like to refer to my own prologue. Celestia never stops caring about Twilight. But there is a central conflict between Celestia and Twi. Their relationship is... yes complicated. You find out more about Celestia later. I put a lot of effort into planning her character to create a very complex and interesting character.
It all depends. The doll was a normal soft toy. But it had great emotional value for Twilight because she's had it for as long as she can remember. I wonder who could have given it to her?
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Well I have read over 1000 stories and commented on over 500 stories, everyone who finishes a story daily on this site between December 2023 to June 2024 most likely has seen me comment on a story atleast once.
However my favorite stories are between Twilight and Celestia and/or Luna.
Edit: But apparently you already knew that judging by you just replying on one of my comments.
Yes, this doesn't surprise me to much, I'm gonna guess that although Celestia and Twilight like each other and care for each other, there's something's that Celestia does that Twilight disagrees with and later on there will probably be thing's that Twilight does that Celestia disagrees with.
I mainly got that guess from the Description.
Hmm, a hint. I have a few guesses, it could be someone from the orphanage or someone outside the orphanage, that doesn't narrow it down however if it is someone outside the orphanage then I'm gonna guess it's from someone who is one of the more familiar characters in the show kinda like Celestia or Cadance, although i doubt Cadance even knows Twilight or even met her, however my third guess could be someone out of this world? *Wink wink.
Although, we still don't know when, why, and how Twilight even gets to the orphanage in the first place. If it's one of those stories where Twilight just falls from the sky and is found, I'm not even gonna be surprised at that point.
Also, how come whenever there's a story that's starts off with someone at an orphanage they get bullied? Like are you trying to tell me something? That orphanages need better security and that society is cruel AF? Because that's what it seems like to me. Because seriously, I thought school was bad, that's where all the bullying happened to me, but the fact that this is basically common in other places as well? What is wrong with people.
These are the types of stories that really make me question society and how cruel anyone can be.