A story about a pegasus with a huge secret. He comes to Ponyville with many hopes and dreams. Will they be fulfilled? Or will he be shunned like every other place he has been?
Spike is tired of being small. He barely has grown since in Ponyville. He also wishes things will be different for him. He never really gets a chance to prove he is helpful whenever he feels it counts. However, that suddenly changes when he makes a new friend.
More characters are included besides the ones shown. Lengthy chapters.
Comments always welcome!
This is also my very first fic. I hope everyone enjoys it. Also there are some adjustments and things I want to make but I have to wait until I get my laptop fixed. So for now bear with the font and no italics. Lastly if you dislike, I would like to know what you disliked about it if it wasn't the story itself. Thanks.
I'm probably not gonna read this. (Friggin 10 AM. got off work at 7) But I will say that you usually wanna try to keep your chapters around the same size. roughly at least.
3378146 yeah sorry about the short chapter in between. I assure that the ones after this will each stay at between the 9-12k mark at all times. That third one was surprisingly short for me.
At the train station they should have a sign some where saying "Warning!!! Beware of Pink Pony" It would be funny. Anyway good start, I'll continue reading.
Lovely chapter indeed. I loved how Derpy was a major part of it. {= Best Pony!} And Spike... If Rarity was there she'd be like Lol. I'll continue reading tomorrow it's late where I'am.
3410866
Glad you liked. Derpy very important in this story as much as main 6 as well as others. You will get plenty of Derpy that's for sure :)
Awesome Chapter like always but I found a small mistake.
But I liked it non the less.
ONWARDS TO THE NEXT CHAPTER
3412386
Good find. I'll fix that right up
Person...
Nuff said
Wait... Pegasus?
Hmm.....
Derpy, dashie, flutters.......
3418622
Wait what?
3419015
3423162
That just made me more confused.....
3423319 you said person in the story not pony
Oh ok I'll correct when I see it
Minor syntactical glitches aside, this is a pretty decent tale.
The Health Swap idea has antecedents in human mythology as well; I don't think I've seen it applied to ponies before.
3427436
Thanks and I tried to make a lot of ideas that I haven't seen anypony use yet.
.... I just noticed I said 'anypony'.......
Sir I'm surprised that it didn't get on the feature list u deserve a follow, favorite and like. Aside from a few minor mistakes the story is marvelous!!
3450816
Thanks a lot! I'm finally happy someone took the time to comment that they liked it. Was starting to think otherwise.
Also I'm about to fix the mistakes in the chapters soon. I've been too occupied writing the next chapters I forgot to go back and fix old ones. I'll get to it today tho.
This Burst Magic stuff could be dangerous in the wrong hooves. I really can't blame Saph for keeping it under wraps.
(And what could be better than having Luna on your side? Not a thing in the world.)
3453602
Yea. It's pretty strong stuff. But it also has a lot of disadvantages. Some you will find out soon enough ;)
And as for Luna.... You are 100% correct sir. :)
Eweweweweweweweweweewewe whyyyy did you make them drunkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
3499122
Haha yeah it makes it more interesting for me. That's all I can really say
YAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY cant wait fro the next chapter
AUG YOU GOT ME RIGHT IN THE CLIFFHANGERMABOB XD it hurts
please post again soon!!!
3585816
Don't worry, I'm excited to write the next chapter and it already halfway done. Lots of new info and as always, will be over 10k words.
SWEET
3588135
It's good to know someone looks forward to my stories. Next chapter should be out tomorrow. At most the day after. 2k words left and then a proofread and it's posted.
3594595 mkay! yaaaay
yeah if i like a story i usualy get realy sucked in pweese forgive?
3597619
All is forgiven.. Also I have a surprise for you!
3597859
A SUPRISE! what could it be?
3599947
Seems like you already read it :)
ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhoooooooooo so 2 elements of harmony found out in one chapter atleast the pure ones and he got both of their kisses
also
he has only got 2 of the regular elements of harmony's kisses so far jumping the gun i see
trixie is displeased? no trixie approves
3600513
Glad you liked it. Well the next one will be interesting too, but i will say that bravery will not be shown for quite a while
Just wanna know who Spike is shipped with before I read. Can you possibly tell me?
I really want to know who the mare who was annoyed with the affection that Spike was getting from Twinkleshine is. I want to say Rarity but I can't be sure.
3630803
Well it will be told in the next chapter don't worry :)
..... Well, maybe not told, but you will figure it out.
Uhh... I feel as though this was a bit forced.. Sapphire can't just love all of them. He kissed Derpy, Asked Rainbow on a date, kissed Pinkie and now kissed Trixie. How? What?
3646503
PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVENT READ STORY. WILL SPOIL SOME OF IT.
Well there were reasons for each movement he made. First off with Derpy: it was solely for the purpose of checking and seeing if she was the element of Concern. That in of itself should be enough reason, especially since he had some knowledge to back that up.
Rainbow Dash's I'll admit was a out of the blue thing. However it can be justified. Right now there was no indication that Sapphire liked her, hence him asking her to participate in a practice date. He found her suited best for the role and figured she could give him an opinion on how it went.
Pinkie's kiss was obvious. They both deeply cared about one another and shared one. Not really forced if you read about their relationship.
And lastly Trixie. You obviously know how he felt about her and from how the story was worded, you can figure out how she felt about it. Besides, Trixie initiated the first kiss and second one as well... Pretty much all of them. He has a right to that mare at least.
As for loving them all... I can't say what I have decided on a pairing. I wrote that in the authors note. Read closely on the chapters and you will understand them more clearly. It takes the fun out of it if I have to explain everything. Leaves less for the readers to imagine.
Saph gets ALL the mares! This chapter was really good, I still don't know if Rarity was the one who got angry when Colgate and Twinkleshine were talking to Spike. The way she reacted to Dash telling her made it seem like she was surprised. Also, the things that Scootaloo said made me think it might have been her. Overall, it was a very good chapter. I am already thinking that the mare at the lake was Sweetie Belle. I do have one question though.
How old are the CMC? Because if Saph is the same age, or near the same age as the Mane 6, then him kissing them is kinda weird. I mean, a kiss on the cheek would be acceptable, but on he lips? Not a chance in Tartarus.
3649279
Very perceptive are we?
I won't answer the first ones, because it will be more interesting when you read it.
Also the ages for the CMC are 16. Sweetie and Diamond start at 17 tho. They are about or a little less than a year younger than Spike in this and a little over a year younger than Sapphire. The older ones are in their twenties, most are 20, Fluttershy and Rarity being 21 and the youngest is Dash at 19. That's their ages in this story anyways.
Edit: did you say mare at the lake? What lake?
ohey
looks like i got to cout up up in fallout equestria to notice their was a new chapter heer heh anyways i did enjoy the chapter but it feels like their is alot of feels flying about
3653477
Yup there are. It's crazy but needed. There will be less of all the feels and more action coming pretty soon, as well as problems that will surprise some people. I just had to get these out of the way mostly.
3649462
*Facehoof* I misread 'Luna' as 'lake'. Now how'd I manage to do that?
Perceptive? Not really, just brushing up on my critique.
3654057
Heh silly you. And thanks for the critique. I enjoy it if my story is worth commenting on.
What was the second song that Sweetie Belle sang?
3658079
No Air by Chris brown and Jordan Sparks. I picked it cause it had a male/female duo, with the female starting.
just came buy to check up on things and their is still not a new chapter ? is it coming out soon?